Chapter Two: Found

…

"Tali?!... Tali! Are you with me? You don't get to die here!"

Tali coughed violently, her eyes opened and found Shepard bleeding all over her, his hands touching against her suit as though furiously searching for injuries... what happened? Was this some erotic and violent dream she was having? But it wasn't. They were still on Gei Hinnom and surrounded by the stench of Collector dead, being bled on by a massive armoured human who was rocking her body back and forth in a grip so tight that he was squeezing the life out of her.

All in all, it was very romantic...

"Shepard." Tali breathed weakly, suppressing the urge to choke in fear it might scare him. "Shepard, this suit is stronger than it looks."

She was worried at first. It definitely felt like she had been wounded. But she wasn't badly hurt if that was the case. Her suit readings told her that every part was still intact, despite the hit. She was just winded. Winded and coming down from the adrenaline pumping through her thanks to the combat.

Shepard naturally didn't understand her reassurances. So weakly, Tali's hand reached out and pushed her body up to a sitting position. Shepard staggered back. There was a weak grin on his lips as he stood back up, offering his hand to her. Tali accepted it and stood up, both of them leaning against each other for mutual support.

They stared at each other, Tali's head raised slightly to accommodate for her Captain's slight height advantage. No words were spoken. None were needed for Tali to know just how relieved he was. Shepard quirked his lips and downcast his gaze, almost appearing embarrassed to the quarian.

A gurgling cough broke their concentration. They turned and found the Collector General's proxy, still lying there in a puddle of its murk brown blood. It seemed to have sneered at the two of them.

Harbinger was still defiant despite moments from its shell's death.

"This is not over Shepard, your death is now inevitable," The Collector General hissed at the two of them, not bothered by the blood gurgling over his words. "RELEASING CONTROL."

The aura of sickening power disappeared from the Collector. It was now simply lying there, lost and dying. Its many eyes turned and looked up to the two of them in a strange confusion, almost resigned to its fate. Shepard had no witty reply like Tali had come to expect. No defiant words to speak to the possessed Collector that just sat there clicking and gasping.

He simply lifted the rifle in his arms and shot the creature.

It was a mercy.

...

...

With Shepard blasting the poor drone's head open, the last of the Collectors fell in a gurgling mess.

John dropped his Mattock and slumped back onto the ground, breathing rough now. Tali was screeching wildly in her language, only making out his name as usual. He glanced up as he felt Tali wrap her arms snugly around his waist. Tali sat down behind him, resting his body onto hers as her hands frantically dug into his wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

Neither of them paid mind to the flickering and hissing emitting from Tali's hastily slapped together omni-tool.

"C-ommander Shepard. Tali'Zorah. This is an Omni-Tool test. H -as Justi- -ara found you yet?"

EDI was on Tali's communication channel... Oh that wonderful, wonderful Artificial Intelligence. As if almost on cue, heavy boots stamped towards them. Shepard and Tali glanced up through the haze.

There standing over the bloody mess was indeed, none other than the Justicar Samara herself. Glowing biotic blue, she had taken Shepard's Reverent Light Machine gun from the Normandy arsenal and was currently looking dispassionately at the vast field of dead collectors, killed primarily by her biotics and her borrowed rifle.

Shepard did a mental check. He would never doubt the warrior's ability, or fuck with her ever again.

A sudden roar of a sniper rifle and hissing noise caught Shepard's attention. Crouched in a tree was none other than the Master Thief herself, Kasumi Goto. There was a sniper rifle in hand as she scanned for any Collector survivors, which apparently she had discovered. Without hesitation, she leaped from the tree and joined the Justicar, who nodded to younger woman appreciatively.

The two broke apart, with a mysterious smile directed to both him and Tali, Kasumi headed to check on Forzan. Samara moved to them. Without any hesitation, she knelt down next to the two of them and detached what remained of his armour, Tali almost jumped as Samara's aged hand gripped Tali's as they combined pressure around the wound.

"Lay still now, Shepard," she commanded, not even offering the illusion of choice. "Your armour took most of the damage, but you're still bleeding heavy. We need to get you back on the Normandy right now. We only have a short window of time before the Collector's ship tracks the Normandy again."

English...

John gawked at the words spoken by the asari, more importantly, words understood by him.

"You...You speak English?" he groaned out as he felt Samara push a medi-gel injector into his wound deep and without any warning to him. Shepard hissed and Samara offered no sympathy.

Samara, he decided, would have made the worst nurse ever.

Moving her hands off his wound, he felt Tali's hand squeeze his, comforting him.

"I do not use translators when it is possible," Samara explained factually. "I find them lazy or for the dimwitted. I have spent much spare time learning a few of your major languages, as with any species I have come across. These sorts of communication incidents do not occur should one take the time to learn, even the most basic of other species language could save you grief once technology failed."

Shepard blinked... did the Justicar actually insult him?

John ignored the potential insult the best he could as he felt Samara's cold hand apply a second injection of medi-gel and broke out the emergency bandaging. He turned his head over to the Kasumi, who was hobbling Forzan over to the rest of the group. The quarian was babbling her language to Kasumi, who spoke back. Both of them fell silent as they stared at Shepard and then down to Tali, whose focus was focused on him, then to Shepard again.

"Regardless Kasumi, Samara you have no idea how glad I am you're here..." Shepard greeted the thief, groaning as the medi-gel and the pressure of the bandage made his wound burn.

Kasumi shot Tali a look of what John assumed was sympathy and turned back to Shepard, her eyebrow raised.

"You're glad we're here?" Kasumi repeated like he said something stupid. "You're stuck on a beautiful jungle world full of Varren ad Collectors with the sweetest girl I've ever met and you're glad we're interfering? Really? Translators or not... I figured the two of you would have worked out your feelings once and for all by now."

The observation caught him off guard. But it was Tali's reaction that caught his attention. From behind him, Tali tensed up as though she became paralyzed. Shepard's turned back to look up at her, eyes widened at just how odd she was behaving. It suddenly all made sense. The seemingly easier communication between them… the strange body language that Chambers taught was a sign of interest...

Holy shit… she fixed her translator...

"Let them sort it on their own time." Samara chastised her like she was speaking to one of her daughters and very unfazed by Kasumi's revelation. "We must get back to the Normandy and flee the system. Before the Collector ship comes back."

Shepard nodded and glanced back to Tali who was shifting extremely nervously now... yes... they would work this out, once it was safe to assume the Collectors weren't looking to tangle with the Normandy again.

...

...

"I want you off official duties for the next three days, Tali. A cracked rib is nothing to ignore. Also, the next time Shepard offers you ways to treat wounds without Medi-Gel, disregard them. That scar isn't going anywhere."

Tali, rubbed her hands nervously as she listened to Chakwas rant and rave over both Shepard, her and Lieutenant Forzan, who was isolated away in the AI core room, which now served as a place of treatment for the injured quarian. Not that Forzan knew that she was locked in the room with an advance alien artificial intelligence.

Shepard did not seem fazed at all by the shouting, he simply lay there, almost amused by the berating.

"I'm sorry Doctor Chakwas," Tali murmured, unable to meet the human physician's eyes. "The bleeding would not stop and what supplies we had needed to be conserved."

Chakwas shot her a sympathetic smile, as though she understood that the engineer had to do what was necessary. The smile died as soon as she rounded back and glared down at the Commander, her patient.

"As for you, Shepard, You should try and wear your goddamn helmet for once in your life! I know it doesn't look cool, but there's a reason why you own it," Karin warned her patient furiously. "Do I have to tell you how to do your job as a Spectre? Wasn't the very first lesson in basic training to keep your helmet on?"

Shepard rolled his eyes and pushed himself up off the mattress, dangling his feet over the edge of the hospital bed, his hand clutching his gunshot graze.

"Yes ma'am..." was his dull sounding agreement.

Shooting her Commanding Officer one last appraising look and Tali the kindest of smiles, Chakwas set the scanner down and turned away from both Shepard and the suddenly nervous quarian and left the Med Bay, leaving them both alone.

John quirked his lips at the woman, who ceased her jumpiness almost right away and tried to calm down instead. Quietly, he ushered her over to his side. She did so, her steps more bouncy than usual.

"My mother always found it funny that my medical officer is the same woman who delivered me as an infant." Shepard spoke up to her, a mild smirk on his lips.

Tali blinked, her hands tightening their grip on each other.

"Doctor Chakwas actually birthed you?" Tali almost chirped, amazed at the sudden and profound information. "She would be like family to you. Well, at least she would be by quarian standard… an official relative."

"Just like Admiral Raan?" Shepard guessed astutely. Tali nodded. Yes, Raan had told him that she was the one who place her in her bubble, much to her own embarrassment, fortunately hidden by her stupid mask.

Shepard didn't confirm whether Chakwas was like family. He simply held his gaze over her, burning holes into her resolve.

"I should... ahhhhhh; I should go and make sure Daniels and Donnelly have not blown up the engines." Tali finally spoke up. "I'll see you later, Shepard."

But as she turned to flee, things suddenly complicated with eight words uttered by her captain, by the man she was crushing hard on.

"You borrowed Lieutenant Forzan's translator software, didn't you?"

Tali lost her ability to breathe as her body froze at the observation made by her captain He knew... Oh Keelah... he knew... Slowly she turned back and found that Shepard was off the bed, and wrapping his torn shirt back onto him.

"I know when people can't understand or when they're pretending to not understand. At first you genuinely didn't understand, but you were pretending the rest of the time." He pressed on, his tone neutral as his eyes frightened the quarian.

"How did you-"

Shepard shrugged casually, still smiling that stupid knowing smile.

"Old training supplemented by Miss Chambers for a couple quick alien body language lessons... quarian body language in particular," was his simple voice reply. He looked so coy.

Tali closed her eyes and bowed her head. She was going to hurt Kelly Chambers. She said she would keep her observations private!

"I got to go check in on Joker," Shepard spoke, breaking his silence as he pushed himself out of the bed. "I heard he was feeling guilty for taking off and being gone for so long."

He paused and turned back to the still quarian, a slight knowing look on his lips.

"When you have some free time Tali, I'd like you to come up to my quarters." Shepard requested his tone almost delicate. "We'll continue this conversation later. Understood?"

Nodding blankly to her Captain, she watched as Shepard allowed her slight smile before weakly stepping out of the med-bay. Leaving Tali with the sudden urge to throw up from the thought of Shepard knowing just what it was she was thinking.

...

...

Oh Keelah... Oh Keelah help her. She was in trouble.

She should have just told him that she could understand his confession. Now he was going to be furious with her.

Or ravish her.

She was not sure what she feared more, a verbal assault from the man who humiliated the quarian leadership in a single conversation, or the fact that her hormones, bubbling to a boil were begging her to forget years of instilled fear, tear her suit off and take him right then and there, destroying their friendship and getting a passionate and romantic relationship in its place.

"So… Kasumi told me about your tropical excursion with Shepard planet-side. I should have known you had thought of the Commander like that. Suddenly it all makes sense now..."

The flangling voice.

That awful taunting tone...

Oh Keelah... not him.

Keelah... anyone but him.

Tali was instantly put out of the mood. She silently groaned as she turned around and found none other than Garrus Vakarian sitting alone at the crew mess table; his mandibles spread wide open as though he was amused. Slowly, he began to laugh, something that sounded so foreign from a turian. Tali could only privately scowl.

"Oh come on now, tell Garrus about all about your troubles. I won't laugh too much at you stumbling around Shepard." Garrus crowed as he stood up to follow the engineer. "I'll tell you what's going on between me and Operative Lawson."

Tali ignored the bosh'tet the best she could. This was not his concern. So why was he making this his business?

"What is this... silent treatment from the quarian who can't stop talking?" Garrus teased a little more. "I must have really hit a ner-"

A blue glow wrapped around the turian, throwing him against the wall. Tali turned to the source of the biotic. It was Operative Miranda Lawson. The look on her face was a mixture of rage and disgust with the turian's false implications. She moved forward to Garrus, her eyes hard, her lip curled.

"Oh alright then… nothing is going on between the Operative and I. I'm sorry for the remarks Tali, Miranda..." Garrus coughed out as he rolled over onto his back with a groan.

Satisfied with the apology, Lawson let the biotic haze over Vakarian die and turned away, wordlessly joining Tali in the elevator. Tali could find no pity for the turian for his behaviour and silently commended the Cerberus Agent for not letting him get away with it. Lawson hit the button for Deck 2. The door shut, leaving both human and quarian staring at their reflection.

The only noise made at first was the gentle humming of the elevator, leaving the women alone, together.

Miranda Lawson...

To say she was a hard woman to understand would be an understatement in her opinion.

Calling her a real bitch would be much more accurate.

Miranda had an agenda, or so Tali had assumed when they first met on Freedom's Progress. She was cold, calculating, manipulative (For how easily she managed to convince Shepard that she fought for a greater good) bordering on vindictive when she had heard that the woman had kidnapped her own infant sister to spite her father. This was a crime inconceivable to Tali no matter how terrible the man may have been.

But since Shepard went out of his way to rescue Oriana Lawson, she seemed to have changed for the better... like she had an epiphany and realized her life wasn't totally dedicated to the cause she fought for. It gave Tali her own doubts about her assumption of Lawson. She was starting to see what Shepard saw: the good in her.

"Disregarding Garrus' lewd, unprofessional behaviour, I am glad that you both have made it back in relatively good condition," Operative Lawson spoke to her, her hands crossing behind her back as she stared ahead at the elevator door

It was in this moment that Tali'Zorah found herself no longer disliking the woman the way she did. She understood what Lawson had done. She spent two years of her life furiously dedicated to bringing him back; she spent... years arms deep in what remained of him after being spaced. Patiently working on him with a dedication Tali could never imagine.

Nor Lawson could imagine just the amount of gratitude Tali felt for the woman.

"Miss Zorah? Are you alright, Miss Zorah?"

Tali looked up and found Operative Lawson staring at her. Before either realized it, the elevator doors open to the CIC opened. Still, Lawson's head was tilted curiously. Faintly Tali could hear the Commander talking to Joker on the bridge. That voice, so distant but still could send shivers down her spine and make her lose her cool. She shook her head and licked her dried lips.

"Thank you…" Tali managed to speak up, staring back at the Cerberus agent.

Lawson quirked her lips, almost confused by Tali's softly spoke appreciation.

"Yes, well if you excuse me, I have duties to attend to…." was her response as she attempted to move out of the elevator.

Before Miranda could depart; Tali reached out and without thinking, grabbed the woman's arm turning her back to face her once again. Lawson stared dangerously as though she was daring the engineer to make another move so she could seriously hurt the woman for grabbing her. Nervously, Tali disregarded the feelings that she was close to forfeiting her life for touching the Cerberus agent.

"No, thank you…" Tali repeated once again.

Lawson blinked, her defensive stance vanished as she simply stood there, unsure of what to do or say, or even what in the hell Tali was babbling about. The quarian shook exhaled, how could her simple words be so complicated for her to understand?

"Miranda...Thank you…" she desperately urged the woman to accept.

Tali's grip fell off Miranda, leaving the two of them standing there silently. She watched as a dawning of realization spread onto the Operative's expression. For the first time since they met. Tali felt comfortable using the woman's first name.

Miranda huffed a brisk laugh.

"I... I understand…" she whispered back to Tali, nodding gently. "I suppose he means more to you then the Illusive Man knows, or at least briefed me..."

The engineer tilted her helmet, almost embarrassed that Lawson had pointed the obvious out to her. She glanced up and did not see a look of disgust, or revulsion she had anticipated from the Cerberus Operative from the mere thought of an alien thinking of human in that way. No, instead, there was a gentle smile that destroyed her assumptions.

A gentle smile from Miranda Lawson… what was this galaxy coming to?

"You're quite welcome, but I was merely the one who put him back together," was Miranda's almost humbled response. "You might want to thank my employer as well. If it were not for him this... second chance of yours would never have happened."

It was Tali's turn to blink. Thank the Illusive Man? She could not imagine that she ever would... but she would entertain the thought. Miranda was right however, if there was one thing she should that she should thank that bastard for...

Miranda chuckled; she seemed to understand Tali's lack of enthusiasm in the suggestion.

"At any rate, I trust you will not squander this opportunity," Miranda continued. "I also should like to think we can be on less... hostile terms now... Tali."

Miranda reached out, offering her hand to the quarian. Tali looked at it, and extended her own, giving a curt but friend shake.

"I don't trust this organization. I lack the same faith that Shepard does..." Tali admitted without any shame. She paused and added. "But I can come to like a few of its members, Miranda."

Miranda held her eyes on Tali's for a little while longer. She nodded and dropped Tali's hand. With a slight smile and without another word, she turned away and stepped onto the bridge. Leaving Tali alone in the elevator as the doors closed, both pleased and surprised with the conversation.

She glanced at the elevator panel, lost as she stared at the holographic display.

Miranda Lawson was right. She had this second chance to get what she needed. To take him and keep him close to her. For however long that might have been.

She would tell Shepard.

Without another thought and knowing full well that Gabriella and Kenneth had the engines under complete control, Tali pressed the button to Deck One: Captain's Quarters.

...

...

Joker, as it turned out, was rather hard to get him to understand that he was not upset with him.

John couldn't blame him for feeling that way... the guilt. He reckoned it was probably what happened on board the SR-1 that made Moreau feel he had to always find a way to pay him back for his stubborn borderline insubordination that coincidentally led to his demise.

After managing to at least tell him that they could settle this incident by buying his CO a drink on the Citadel, it pacified the upset pilot somewhat.

With only a brief conversation with his Executive Officer about what had happened and how much a piece of shit the Hammerhead was, he was in the elevator and heading up to his room for a shower, a shave and a fresh change of clothing. Perhaps he would get a couple hours of shut eye before Tali finally managed to work up the courage to face him.

Tali...

Okay... he probably could have handled that better. He left her in such a worried state. He wasn't mad at her or anything. He reckoned he just wanted her to sweat a little. He thought it was an adequate enough punishment for someone who got to listen to him confess how much of a bastard he once was...

"Commander, Chief Engineer Tali'Zorah vas Normandy has been waiting in your quarters for the past half an hour. Should I follow Mister Moreau's suggestion and have Yeoman Chambers send up a bottle of wine for her?"

Shepard groaned. Of course Joker would figure out why he had left so soon. Buttering up the Ship's Artificial Intelligence had its uses. Besides... he might have purchased Thesssian brandy, brewed with quarian and turian's in mind. If Tali needed a drink then it would be there.

Shepard quirked his lips slightly as a sudden amusement hit him.

Tali had left the engines to Donnelly and Daniels?

"No, EDI. My quarters are off limits to any suggestions made by Joker, Miss Goto and Miss Chambers," John finally returned. He paused, thought for exactly three seconds before adding. "Amend my last statement to include Garrus in that list… no suggestions from him as well."

"Acknowledged."

Shepard stepped out of the elevator and slowly approached his room, knowing full well that a quarian girl he left in a near paranoid state was waiting for him. In truth, he felt sort of bad for leaving her hanging like this.

He would definitely break that bottle of brandy out for her if she needed it. Tali was a nervous wreck whenever something she shouldn't have done occurred. She was a usually positive woman, until she did something wrong and assumed that she was going to face the firing squad or something.

He paused as he noticed Tali sitting behind his desk staring at something in her hands. Silently he tip toed closer and got a good look at what the quarian was so focused on.

A picture of Liara.

He wasn't quite sure why he still had it. It was a relic to a past that wasn't relevant today. Liara and he were not on speaking terms. Not after her using him like an extension to her information network. It was a disgrace... not that he would care to admit it to anyone. Being used sucked, even for a Spectre.

"You know... that actually came with the ship, oddly enough. I think my employer was trying to be forward thinking about non-humans…" Shepard spoke up, surprising Tali enough to make her jump in place. With her eyes devoted on him, he added. "Liara and I aren't together or anything. Words were spoken by the two of us. It wasn't pretty. But the end was pretty much solidifying that the moment she had me hacking terminals like one of her pawns."

Tali bowed her head.

"I'm sorry that you fought with her," Tali spoke to him, her words carefully chosen. "She is our friend. She was your... closer friend."

The quarian turned back to the desk. As tenderly as she could, she placed the photo frame back on the table as though it were delicate glass. Tali stood up and fidgeted under his expression; like she wasn't sure if she should be up here at all.

"I'm sorry I came up so soon," she blurted out. "Daniels and Donnelly had things under control. I just thought... you know. I have an apology to make. I deceived you and it was wrong. It will not happen again."

Tali trailed off, her eyes not blinking as she stood there staring at him. Shepard didn't know what she was talking about. Instead, he simply nodded and chalked up to her following his request.

Quietly he moved past the quarian and down to his bed. Without thinking, he pushed his shirt and pants off his body, leaving himself exposed as he pried open his clothing drawer to search for something fresh to wear. He paused and remembered. Fear of public nudity was all but beaten out of him during boot camp.

Tali on the other hand… from behind her mask, he could faintly hear the smallest of gasps.

He glanced back and noticed Tali was frozen, her stance clearly that of someone who had just received the shock of her life. He sighed and pulled on fresh casual shirt and a pair of shorts: Sleeping attire. He turned back and stepped slowly back to the silent engineer.

"I told Miranda to requisition us a Mako," he spoke up, breaking Tali's wide eyed stare as he turned back to face her. "Say what you will about it, at least it didn't fall apart whenever we landed rougher than usual."

Tali nodded blankly.

"A good call," Tali agreed tersely. "So long as you let Garrus or I drive it during missions or at the very least stop driving them through anymore micro mass relays. You know... Garrus nearly had a mental breakdown after Saren died and saw what you did to the vehicle? He did not think it was possible that you could break an axle like that."

He laughed slightly at Tali's observation. Yes, Garrus was obsessed with keeping that damn IFV in tip top shape.

"That was just the one time, Miss vas Normandy." He reminded her. He nudged her playfully, adding. "Besides, you screamed like a girl."

The tension broke in the quarian. She started to laugh as at the memory. John chuckled as well. Tali ducked her head slightly, shaking it as though thinking of the memory was humiliating. John inched forward, his hand outstretched, slowly he leaned in, his gripping her shoulder.

Tali looked back up, her eyes staring at the grasp around her. She looked up and found John's expression to be blank with the barest hints of understanding.

"I meant what I said back there, Tali," he whispered, his lip quirked. "How I trust you... how you made me felt. I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, but it's been lingering there for a long time now. It just had to be said. I just figured you not having a translator would... you know... help ease the tension."

He watched as Tali wringed her hands, a sudden burst of nervous energy flowing through her.

"I thought you figured it out I had a translator."

Shepard shook his head ruefully.

"I only figured it out after Kasumi said something about us being marooned and you turned to her, like you knew what she said." Shepard said. "I don't often spill myself so freely."

"I'm so sorry, Captain... I... just... when you started speaking so frank..." Tali replied, finding her voice but keeping her head hung low. "It was so different then what I was used to. We... we never really talked before. On the first Normandy, you kept to yourself. I did not get a chance to know you. The only one who made any dent into you was Doctor T'Soni."

John rubbed the back of his neck.

"She only made any progress because of the mind melds." he admitted sheepishly. "I didn't really talk to her... that sounded bad, didn't it?"

Tali shrugged noncommittally.

"It does not matter. What matters is that after the trial... after you became my captain. I might have felt that dull aching pain in my stomach that your people described," she admitted to him. "So when you started speaking, I was just so worried that to make you aware would mean you would clam up and never speak to me so... so...intimately again."

Shepard emitted a low chuckle.

"Well, I'm a real pain in the ass to get to know." He grinned apologetically. "You barely scratched the surface while we were stranded. I have a whole list of issues that I think might scare you off."

Still Tali stood there, silent as the grave. Shepard rubbed the back of his neck as his eyes were locked into hers. Slowly, he whispered.

"This is where you reply, telling me you don't have an interest."

Tali almost immediately snorted. She cocked her head back and let loose a laugh that echoed throughout the room. It was as though his words had been a source of great amusement. Shepard resisted the urge to ask her what was so funny. He was offering her a way out diving any deeper into the mess that was Commander John Shepard's personal life.

"You're assuming I don't have an interest?" Tali found her voice, sounding almost surprised by him. "A dashing, exotic commander saves me from criminals, offers me a post on his experimental military frigate, allows me fight the geth and chase a rogue Spectre across the galaxy, even going out of his way to raid a geth base to find me my pilgrimage gift... who cheats his own death and the void of space and comes right back to me... and inadvertently tells me how special I am to him... How I am the best thing that had come into his life..."

Tali exhaled slowly her head tilted up to him incredulously.

"How could I possibly be interested in him?" she breathed, her eyes clearly hooded as she took the sight of him in.

As the words spoken so silkily by the quarian died between the two, John realized that this was not the same girl who proved herself on the hunt for Saren. She was a woman now, filled with feelings and desires apparently suppressed from the moment they first met.

Oh great God help him, here he was, two years out of practice on the account of him being dead. Now he finds out he's damn near masturbation material for an amorous quarian.

Okay, that may have been crude and pretty arrogant had someone been reading his thoughts. Still, the way she stood there, one hand on her hip, her head tilted, eyes hooded as they traveled over his body... It was hard not to imagine Tali hidden away in a private clean room... just thinking of him...

"Shepard?"

Tali's voice caught his attention. He could feel the heat touching into his face. He tried to find the right words but they were not there to answer. Tali simply stood there looking almost shocked.

"Shepard... are you being bashful?" She observed, her voice almost chirping as she teased him so openly. Somehow the heat got hotter against his skin. He coughed and bowed his head.

"Oh Keelah... Have I just made the great Commander Shepard, first human Spectre and the bane of the Admiralty Board blush!?" The quarian woman giggled furiously, she looked ready to completely lose her resolve as she realized just how much an effect her words had on him.

"I shall archive this incident on Tali'Zorah's omni-tool. I calculate a 98.6835 percent probability that she will want to experience this again."

"EDI, I told you not to snoop during personal time!" Shepard roared out as the avatar of EDI flashed to life in the corner of the room. It blinked away, as though knowing she was in trouble with her boss. The presence of the AI did nothing to detract Tali's laughter at his expense.

"For an AI, I think I'm okay with it now…" she spoke again sounding gleeful and unfazed as she checked her omni-tool and found that indeed EDI had sent her a video file of the incident.

John rubbed his face. This had to be the worst possible thing he would ever get into. Reapers and Collectors be damned.

He slumped onto the couch and gave Tali an appraising look as she stood over him, her arms crossed. He rolled his eyes and patted the seat next to him, which she accepted right away. They sat there, resting into the comfortable couch as they

John turned his hand over on his lap, showing the quarian his palm; his eyes glanced over to her. She was staring at it, almost fascinated. Slowly, tentatively she reached out and pressed her gloved hand into his. It was awkward looking, three digits searching for a way to link together with five efficiently, but soon they found the connection. A connection Tali quickly held tight to.

Tali looked up from behind her mask Shepard could swear that she could see the hint of a smile through the tinted glass.

"So... if this was to happen... you and I... being together much closer than just friends..." Shepard spoke up, finding his voice. "Will you have any regrets? Any fears I need to know?"

Tali'Zorah shook her head.

"No regrets, my captain. None at all…" she whispered back. "But I will have my doubts. Tomorrow I will probably find dozen reasons why you should not be with me... which I know you'll ignore. And It's... hard to feel attractive and feel like I am attractive enough for you when I'm in this damn suit."

John's eyes widened as he slowly checked out every inch of Tali's body sitting next to him. Slowly, he shook his head.

"I know you probably don't feel so cute in a suit... but it does show off some nice... features," He observed with the mildest of grins. "All those curves… how are they even possible?"

Tali gave Shepard and his borderline lecherous comment a simple but somewhat intimidating look. It was not the first time he had seen it .She had used the same look on Operative Taylor for him so casually mentioning she would be serving alongside a Cerberus Artificial Intelligence.

"Regardless, I imagine we'll figure something out to get you out of the suit if only for a few hours. If that's what you want…" Shepard assured her with the mildest of smiles. "We've killed a Reaper, postponed a galactic invasion, infiltrated a Collector ship and somehow a quarian is making nice with a loyal Cerberus agent."

He grinned as he watched her jump at the mention of Miranda and added, "I imagine anything is possible."

In a moment of boldness displayed by Tali, she slapped his chest as though he had said something wrong. It was not a display of rage or anything... she was flirting with him.

If he was being honest with himself, he never ever intended on getting into a situation like this again, a relationship with a subordinate. He figured after the fiasco that was Liara and him, he'd stay strictly on a professional basis with non-humans from that point on.

It was a task made so much more difficult by the loyal quarian sitting next to him.

Quarian... just the thought of him confession that he had these sorts of feelings to a quarian was making his head spin. Not for any racial disbelief. It was more of blindside. Interspecies dating wasn't new to him, but this was drastically different. Liara might have been alien, but she was the sort of alien who he had experience with and Liara, though awkward with due her lack of interest in anything that wasn't a Prothean artefact, was still a member of a race that could adapt to the differences that a mate brought.

Tali was a completely different person... he was probably going to be stumbling in the dark at first...

"How do you handle it?" Tali blurted out. "Losing people under your command?"

Shepard leaned his back into the couch.

"What makes you think I handle loss well?" he asked him curiously.

Tali stared at him for a moment before she shrugged.

"After Freedom's Progress..." Tali sighed out. "You do not know how close I was to telling Father and the rest of the Admiralty Board that I was done helping them. I was going to reveal my intentions of re-joining your crew, regardless of if my request was approved or not. I even told Auntie Raan privately that fleet life was not what I wanted... and that I wanted you to be my Captain. I wanted you to be my captain since we took down Saren."

Shepard cocked his eyebrow.

"You told her about me?"

Suppressing the urge to chuckle, Tali'Zorah nodded.

"Of course I did... I told her bits and pieces." the quarian said. "I was not as open as I am now... but she knew how badly your death affected me."

Tali paused and inhaled and exhaled slowly, as though washing the old memory away.

"I told Auntie Raan that...well... I consider you my best friend," she spoke quietly, almost worried to admit it out loud. "You were a best friend who disappeared for two years, who came back and had nobody there to support him... and had no one who would listen to you the way... well... the way that I listen."

Tali admitted a small nervous chuckle.

"Conceited, I know…" She admitted slyly, her eyes darting back and forth as her hands wringed. "But... I like to think I was right."

Shepard shrugged.

"Well Joker and Garrus doesn't seem the type who'd want to talk about my feelings. Chakwas tries to be there. But she's is more interested in keeping me together," Shepard agreed. "So yes... I wouldn't say no to a mouthy, tech crazy engineer with a real mean streak to her, helping me process what spending two years dead felt like."

Though his words were meant to extract a small laugh from the engineer, it did not work.

"In the end I just couldn't shake Father's influence..." Tali continued, demurely. "The next thing I knew I was on Haestrom, watching the last of my friends die because I was too incompetent to save them."

Shepard squeezed her hand.

"You were not incompetent," he almost chastised her. "At worst, you were inexperienced and placed into a nightmare situation that was over your head, over most peoples head. If blame is to be handed out, then it's to the Admiralty Board for making the call and your father for his research. Not you."

Tali lowered her line of sight. Taking a risk, she leaned closer against him, her helmet in the space between his chin and his shoulder.

"That does not bring peace to all of the dead... I can't even write to the families." Tali breathed disbelievingly. "I do not know what to say... how to say it... It feels wrong that I live and they do not, that I get to fight while they remained unburied on Haestrom... That I, a coward who thought only of making my father proud of me could see my home world one day, while true heroes are doomed to be forgotten."

Tali paused and looked at him carefully.

"That I get to sit here... in the arms of a man who I care so much about, while their loved one cry themselves to sleep because I could not save their damn lives…" she added, her words miserable.

She fell quiet and once more, she buried her mask into his neck. There were no cries or sniffles... just hard silence. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, John could not believe just how similar Tali was now to him. She had the same problems he had... chiefly survivors guilt. Guilt from Torfan... guilt of being granted a second life while the rest of the Normandy crew remained dead...

"Seventy eight..." he spoke up before he could stop himself.

Tali glanced up back to John, who was staring off, his hands still gripping her tight however.

"I have written seventy eight condolence letters from the time I took my first command, to about a week ago." Shepard spoke to the engineer leaning against him. "I lost fifty marines on Torfan; twenty crew members in the Collector attack, four marines stationed onboard who died on Virmire, Pressley... Jenkins... Lieutenant Alenko."

Silently, he leaned forward and sipped the whiskey he poured himself. He set the glass down and leaned back into Tali, whose eyes never left him, nor could she find the right words.

"It never gets any easier, Tali. Not even for me." He continued, his eyes staring into hers. "Being a leader, whether you want to or not means the dead are on your hands and there isn't one thing you can do about it. It's happened to me, my parents... It happened to Garrus... and it happened to you as well now."

He exhaled, and tried to remain clearheaded, despite the memories coming back to haunt him. The lives lost because he didn't do his job...

"I can't tell you how to grieve for those you lost. Whether it's those you lost under your command... or your father. I wish I had a magic fix, but I don't." Shepard whispered, gripping Tali's fingers. "All I can do is tell you is to not dwell on it... you'll end up like Garrus... or worse... me: driven to do bad things that can't bring anyone back."

Tali eyed him up as he once again attempted to push back the old familiar feelings back into his thoughts. This was not the time to dump all his baggage on her.

"I think I understand. Thank you." Tali murmured softly, her helmet bowed briefly before looking up into his eyes. "It just... if you hadn't taught me to survive; I know I would have given up and died there on Haestrom."

She exhaled unsteadily.

"And I…" she started and stopped again as she looked away from him. "I- I wouldn't... you know... I would not have had this chance... with you."

As he nodded, understanding how the woman felt. Tali leaned closer against her captain, tilting head and helmet. Her mouth piece pressed against his cheek. It was surprisingly warm against his skin. She pulled back, her bowed, almost ashamed that she had bumped her mask against him.

"This is the closest thing to a kiss I can give to you." She sheepishly admitted her voice so bothered by herself and her inability to express intimacy she figured he deserved.

Shepard chuckled and pulled her hand up, his lips grazing against her fingers, causing the sweet quarian to jump as nerves stimulator activated by his touch. He could hear the gentlest of moans escape Tali's voice modulator.

"It's kind of cute." He said, looking up into Tali's hooded eyes. "Not as good as the real thing though, I'll have to show you soon."

John stood up and much the quarians protest, he pulled Tali up from her resting place, his arm slinking around her waist, causing the poor, sexually frustrated woman into bumping her pelvis into his. From behind her mas, he imagined he heard her almost purr by his touch.

"Come on, Miss vas Normandy." Shepard decided, tugging her towards his bed. "I'm buzzed from pain medications, tired and this bed lacks a quarian comforter. Care to join me?"

Tali crossed her arms, the gesture, clearly a playful one.

"So that is why you have spoken such sweet words. I am just a blanket to you?" Tali shot back, simply glaring at her captain. "I see where I stand now. Alright then, so long as you serve as my head rest."

Shepard nodded and in his own moment of bravery, leaned in and kissed the side of her mask, leaving the poor woman stunned. Together, they laid there in the dim quarters. Arms wrapped around each other's bodies as the silence fell over them serenely; the only noise made by John was careful breathing and a heartbeat thumping against Tali's hood.

His mind wandered back to the conversation earlier. About those lost under their respective command. How difficult it was for Tali to know what to say to those who died protecting her. She needed his help much more then she was willing to let on.

Help he would provide if she wanted it.

"Tell you what. If you want, I can help you write those letters. Unfortunately, I'm an expert in writing them..." John offered to her, his voice low and not at all liking the words he was speaking to the emotionally injured quarian. "By the looks of this war... I think I'll be writing many more before things get any better."

Tali did not reply. Instead she simply buried her helmet deeper into his chest. Slowly she nodded, accepting the offer presented. Slowly but certainly, He could feel the tension in Tali's body from the thrill of being with him like this die. A sure sign that the woman was quickly entering the land of dreams, where the bad things she ran from hopefully did not chase her to as well.

Quietly he ran his hand over Tali's hood, still stained by his blood. Though he had a galaxy to save from itself, Tali would always come first.

He really didn't know if that was a good or bad thing...

...

...

Tali opened her eyes and felt what she could only describe as a heater lying next to her. She did not notice the warmth before on Gei Hinnom. The jungles were hot and humid, even in the rain so she did not realize just how much heat a thinly clothed human generated.

Not that she minded it. Even if she was in her damn suit, between his bed, his fines sheets and Shepard serving as a head rest. This may have been the most comfortable sleep she had ever had in her entire life.

She could not believe she was in this situation so deep, so quickly. She believed that this would have been a slow process. It was sort of an intimate building of trust between human and quarian. But Shepard, being Shepard, charmed her into realizing that neither of them had the time to dance around this issue.

They were in the middle of a war and both were sufficiently grown up (herself more so) to realize that at any moment, all of this could end in a single strike against them. These were not simple times like two years ago, when their biggest threat was chasing a fugitive Spectre and she and Shepard were only learning of the threat waiting just outside the galaxy.

There was no concern, for the moment at least, of the inevitable reactions. Of what her father and mother would have thought had they been alive, How Auntie Raan and the rest of the Admiralty board would feel about an alien being this close to her. She had no concerns what Liara T'Soni would react had she found out a quarian had snatched her mate from out of her arms, Or Ashley Williams, whom Vakarian had confided in her a while back, was still clearly was still nursing a crush on her former Commander, even after the Horizon meeting.

Well as the humans put it: Hard luck. Or was it tough luck?

Regardless of the stupid idioms humans had, this was her time. It was her time to get what she wanted. No matter how selfish her logic told her she was being. Tali, for once since she became an adult, decided to act against logic, one of the few friends she had in order to get the man that she wanted... needed.

She rolled over, taking the sight of the human underneath her in.

Shepard was... Shepard was strange asleep. He was at peace, unguarded and vulnerable. But that wasn't the only thing alien. So was he.

All those digits, his eyes dull looking, at least compared to hers they were, his skin a healthy looking tone of extremely light pink. He was beautiful in a frighteningly powerful sort of way. Like a male asari minus the dual gender role, tendrils, and crushing brains with his thoughts.

Tali smiled slightly from beneath her mask. She did not imagine John Shepard would be particularly impressed by the description. Still... she liked him and was amazed by herself. Before Shepard she hadn't imagined herself one to fall for a human.

She had imagined she would come home from her pilgrimage would marry a fellow quarian, perhaps even have a child; and then came along Shepard and everything that came along with him. The danger and the excitement of running with a Spectre had undermined that dream in a single meeting two years ago. Even when he was... dead, she still longed to be with him.

She even contemplated joining him on more than one occasion...

Tali shook that bad memory away from her. She did not want to think of such dark days. Not when she was so close to having everything she wanted. She leaned back into Shepard broad warm chest, her arm raised as she activated her Omni-Tool. There, flashing under unread messages, was one from the human she was laying on top of.

Forwarded: Transfer Request Approved

From: Admiralty Board, Migrant Fleet

Commander Shepard,

Per Tali'Zorah vas Neema's request included with her data delivery from Haestrom, the Admiralty Board has approved her transfer to your command. She has been informed that additional duties to the Migrant Fleet may still be necessary on occasion, but has been given extended leeway to determine when her mission with you is considered complete.

This choice was hers, but your role as de facto captain during her Pilgrimage may have caused her to be more susceptible to your requests. The Admiralty Board trusts that you will treat your new crew member with the respect due an honoured member of the Fleet. Should any harm come to her due to negligence on your part, this board will take severe and appropriate action.

Admiral Rael'Zorah,

Migrant Fleet Admiralty Board

...

- Tali'Zorah vas Normandy,

I could not sleep so I figured I'd forward you this. I don't think your Father liked me or would have liked me all that much. I do not think I would have been too nice to him as well. But his concern for you is clearly there. He and I may not have saw eye to eye and many things. But I think that your safety is where ours paths cross. I know you can protect yourself, but I will always be there for you Tali. Don't ever doubt that.

Yours,

Shepard

Post Script: The only reason I'm not able to sleep is because you snore. You're loud. I mean Wrex loud. You're just lucky you're too cute to kick out of bed.

Tali smiled slightly and turned back up to look at Shepard, who remained motionless and asleep, despite his message. She would harass him later for the message. For now, sleeping with her Shepard was the only thing on her mind. Everything else, from the losses she felt guilt for to the Collectors that were chasing them, could wait.

…

…

I hope that looks better if you remembered the original. Anyways, thanks for reading!