Strands of shaggy hair tickled her skin as soft lips grazed her belly and strong hands held her close. His mouth blazed a trail of kisses down her body, and her breath hitched in anticipation. Dizzy with desire, her heart pounded wildly and her hands clutched his hair like a lifeline, urging his descent. His touch—usually so reverent, gentle, cautious, even—was bold and possessive, demanding her body to respond, which it did eagerly. Aching need thrummed through her body as his fingers...

Tonks woke gasping for breath, her skin slicked with sweat. The bed sheet was grasped in her fists and tangled around her legs. She took a deep shuddering breath and let out a low moan of frustration, arousal still flooding her senses. The same dream had plagued her, interrupting her sleep more than a few times over recent weeks. A swift glance at her bedside clock told her that it was early enough to be too damn early to be awake for the day, but late enough that it wasn't completely unreasonable that she get her arse out of bed. There was always the added motivation that if she started with a run her day wouldn't continue to be as frustrating as it had started. The voice at the back of her mind she was resolutely hoping to ignore whispered that the task assigned her later that morning would make it unlikely for her day to become less frustrating.

It was still dark when she set out. She jogged toward the park, trying to avoid the twinkle lights and holly and tinsel that seemed to be everywhere, beckoning her at every turn to adopt something of the Christmas spirit. As she navigated the nearly-empty streets, Tonks decided her level of holiday cheer ranked somewhere around the same as Argus Filch's—non-existent. Usually she loved the cheerful Christmas decorations that adorned the streets of London, choosing to employ a Warming Charm on her clothing so she could walk rather than Apparate to work. Lately, they did little to improve her spirits.

Even if the holiday decor strewn over every intersection and lamppost on her route didn't improve her spirits, the run itself did at least help her release some of the frustration that threatened to drive her mad. Coffee, breakfast, and a long, hot shower helped as well. That is, until she stood on the front stoop of 12 Grimmauld Place, scowling at the front door as she contemplated her assignment for the day: returning the children safely to Hogwarts for start of term. She was due inside at that moment, but she couldn't make herself touch her wand to the door to release the complicated locks. Inside the dilapidated old house was her partner for the day, Remus Lupin. Adorably sexy, yet incredibly infuriating, Remus Lupin.

Tonks hadn't seen Remus in weeks and was not particularly keen on their imminent reunion. It hadn't taken them long once they'd met the previous summer for them to become friendly, letting the friendliness turn to flirting, the flirting finally turning into history's most amazing first date, followed by a couple of glorious months of dating—snogging—that had ended quite abruptly when Remus had brought it to a halt after one amazing, toe-curling, obviously too good to be true night together. She'd woken up the next morning to an empty bed and heard his even emptier excuse later that day that his duty to the Order demanded that they put aside their romance.

The worst of it? She loved him. She was sure of it. Even in the face of his rejection and the awkwardness that would surely surround them now, she loved him.

"Are you and that door having a staring contest?"

Tonks whirled to find Bill Weasley walking up the front steps.

"How's your dad?" Tonks asked, ignoring the actual question since she was in no mood for jokes.

"Dad's fine," Bill replied with a smile. "Mum's the one we should all be worried about. She's still as angry as a Hungarian Horntail after that whole Muggle stitches fiasco."

Bill's comment drew the first true smile from Tonks in ages. Molly Weasley was a fierce witch on any normal day—add mortal peril involving one of her loved ones into the mix, and she was indeed as ferocious as a dragon. Arthur's brush with death after encountering You-Know-Who's snake had put them all on edge, Molly more so than anyone.

Once he reached the top step and stood next to her, Bill touched his wand to the front door to release the locks, but hesitated as he reached for the knob after they'd all clicked to allow him entry. "All right?" he asked, the smile fading from his face.

Tonks was well-aware of her less-than-cheerful hair—dark blue—and the fact that she couldn't quite find it in her to put forth the effort to completely morph away the matching dark shadows under her eyes. It was obvious she wasn't sleeping well. The uncharacteristic scowl she was sure she'd been wearing more often lately was also a dead giveaway that she was anything but all right.

Before she could answer, Bill handed her one of the takeaway cups he held in his hands. "Hot cocoa," he explained as Tonks raised her eyebrows. She took the paper cup, wrapping both hands around it to take comfort in its warmth. "I brought it for Sirius—reckon he could use something other than whisky to drink after the kids leave, but Lupin can surely manage to cough up some chocolate from his stash to make him some. Fancy a chat?"

The prospect of delaying her arrival to Headquarters for a few more minutes was certainly appealing. She turned and sat on the top step.

Bill sat next to her. "All healed from your adventure with Snape?"

Tonks nodded and took a welcome sip of her warm drink.

"That was some curse that bloke set on you."

Curiously, Tonks eyed Bill. The reports from her mission where she took on the role of a barmaid to spy on Death Eaters in a dodgy Knockturn Alley pub were not usually available for the other Order members' viewing, as Dumbledore had wanted to keep their mission as secret as possible—even within the Order.

Bill shrugged. "Somewhere in the middle of the night, Snape was exhausted and wanted to double-check he'd completely countered what they'd done." He smirked with obvious pride in his curse-breaking abilities.

Tonks gave him a small smile, wary of whatever else the eldest trouble-making Weasley would have to say.

"You and Lupin still—"

"There's nothing there you need to know," Tonks snapped.

Bill had the nerve to chuckle. "He's mad for you, I know that much."

Tonks rolled her eyes. "You know nothing, William Weasley."

"I know what I can see." The smile faded from his face. He was quiet for a moment before saying, "I know he couldn't stop smiling that first night we were away on that week-long mission up in Appleby. I also know he stopped smiling when we ran into that werewolf."

Tonks' head shot up from her perusal of the peeling paint on the steps under her feet. "What werewolf?"

"Nasty bloke, that's for sure. Peterson? Pearson?"

Tonks closed her eyes and took a deep breath before asking, "Parsons?"

"Parsons—that's it. I got the sense Remus wasn't expecting him to be there. Wasn't happy either."

Chuck Parsons was a werewolf Tonks had run into a few times during her mission at the Knockturn Alley pub, the Poison Quill. Her last night on the job, Chuck Parsons had been there with Remus, both men recognizing her by scent despite Parsons not knowing Tonks' true identity.

"He was…" Bill paused and took a sip of his cocoa. "You could tell Parsons was winding Remus up."

"How?"

Bill shook his head. "Maybe you should talk to Remus about this."

"Believe me, I will," Tonks said as she stood so hastily that she nearly toppled back to her bottom. That Remus had known for ages—months, really—that Parsons had made the connection between them and had said nothing made her want to hex the Christmas wreath staring her in the face as she wrenched open the front door. Suddenly, she wasn't feeling so conflicted about entering Grimmauld Place. With Bill on her heels, Tonks stepped inside and found Remus standing at the bottom of the stairs speaking with Molly.

"Tonks, dear," Molly said quietly, no doubt mindful of not waking the tiresome portrait. She smiled and hurried forward, enveloping Tonks in a tight hug before releasing her and holding her at arm's length. "It's good to see you. Although you're looking a bit peaky—are you sleeping all right?"

Unbidden, an image from her dream, Remus' body covering her own, flashed through her mind. She shook her head and looked to the floor, hoping the dreary light in the entry hall wasn't enough to give away the flush she could feel creeping up her neck.

"I'm sleeping fine," she said tightly.

Once Molly stepped back there was a thick silence in the hall as Remus' gaze seemed to be glued to Tonks and she did her best not to glare back. After a few tense moments, Bill cleared his throat.

"Well...shall we make sure Fred and George haven't packed the ickle prefect in his own trunk?" he asked as he strode forward and place his arm around Molly's shoulders. "Come on, I'm sure there's last-minute laundry you're just dying to pass out as well."

Tonks waited until Molly and Bill had cleared the first landing before saying, "A word, please, Lupin."

Without waiting for his reply, Tonks turned and pulled open the door to the scarcely used dining room, wanting to slam the door shut once Remus was inside, but closed it gently instead in deference to the mad portrait.

"How are you?" Remus asked, sounding oddly formal as he watched her warily.

Tonks crossed her arms over her chest. "Care to explain why you've known since September that Parsons was on to me and you didn't see fit to tell me?"

His uncertain expression hardened and he narrowed his eyes. Rather than answer immediately, Remus reached into the pocket of his robes and drew out a bundle of battered parchments. "Only if you care to explain this," he said as he thrust them towards her.

With absolutely no clue as to what was written on the parchment that would make him so angry, Tonks took and unfolded them, scanning her own writing that detailed her mission with Severus. The mission had been successful, but brutal. Tonks and Severus had devised a plan in which her barmaid alias was killed by Severus after being found out as a spy. They'd pulled it off, but not without Avery, the Death Eater along with Severus that night, casting a nasty curse that made it feel as though she'd been burning alive.

Tonks frowned and refolded the parchment, slapping the bundle against his chest rather than simply handing them back. "It's a mission report, Professor. Reckon you're smart enough to figure it out."

"I understand it well enough." He closed the distance between them and stood looming over her. "My question is why you decided to put yourself in that position in the first place. And where the hell was Severus while Avery was ready to violate you? And why in the name of Merlin didn't Severus stop him from cursing you twice after you were already supposedly dead?"

Remus' voice had steadily rose with each question, but Tonks stood her ground and didn't back down. "First of all, that was three questions. Second, that report isn't supposed to be in your hands. And we had the situation perfectly under control!"

"Bollocks! If it was under control, why was Avery able to cast those curses?"

"You read the report, you numpty," Tonks shrieked, taking an insult out of Mad-Eye's arsenal. "He was seeing if I was actually dead! And don't blame Severus for this. The whole thing was my idea! What do you care about any of this, anyway?"

He stepped back and clenched his fists tightly before releasing them once more and saying, "I believe it's not unreasonable to care about one's friends."

Tonks laughed mirthlessly. "That's what we are, then? Friends?" Remus opened his mouth the reply but Tonks held up a hand, remembering why she'd demanded their chat in the first place. "I don't want to talk about your stubbornness—I want you to answer my question now."

Remus ran a hand distractedly through his hair. "Regardless of whatever it is Bill told you, it's not something you didn't know. You already knew Parsons had discovered you before that night at the Quill."

"I didn't know it'd been months ago," Tonks said, fighting the urge to stomp her foot in frustration. "Merlin, Remus, you kept this from me for ages!"

"There wasn't a good reason to tell you!"

"So instead you just keep me in the dark, keep me at arm's reach." Realization dawned. "That's why you never let me...get too close. That's why you started taking it so bloody slow. It had nothing to do with you feeling uneasy about being a werewolf."

"It had—has—everything to do with me being uneasy about being a werewolf!" Remus bellowed. "Parsons just happens to go along with that. You think I wanted you to associate me with the worst of my kind?"

Tonks stared, willing the tears that threatened not to fall. "You don't trust me to know the difference between him and you?" She swallowed roughly before continuing. "And besides, he only knew me as Piper. An alias, Remus, not me."

"I didn't know that," Remus said, looking at the floor.

"You might have done if you'd bothered to talk to me about it."

Remus' gaze flitted to hers for an instant before he turned and shoved both hands through his already unruly hair. "I was certain you wouldn't take the threat as seriously as I do."

"Wouldn't—"

Remus rounded and closed the distance between them with two strides, grabbing her by the shoulders. "For all I knew he knew exactly who you were, where you work, maybe even where you bloody live!" he yelled, his voice shaking.

She both relished and resented his hands on her body at that moment and couldn't help but match his volume. "And you didn't think I would take that seriously?"

"You're always saying how you can take care of yourself. Surely you would have said the same in that situation."

A knock on the door stopped Tonks before she could shout any of the insults that flew through her head. Sirius poked his head around the door, scowling.

"I'd use a Silencing Charm next time if I were you two."

Tonks wriggled free from Remus' grasp, her heart pounding after their argument and, she suspected angrily, the close proximity of their bodies after weeks apart. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize—I know more about why he's been in a strop than I did before," he replied, waving his hand towards Remus. "The kids are nearly ready—they'll soon be downstairs."

"We'll be along in a moment," Remus said tightly.

"We'll be along now, actually." Tonks strode past Remus and shook off his hand when he touched her elbow. "I've nothing more to say."

Tonks stomped up the stairs to the first level where Hermione and Ginny's room was located. Not wanting to endure any more of Molly's well-intended mothering or Sirius' questioning glances or Remus' excuses, she rapped on the door the girls shared and was happy to see when Hermione welcomed her inside that Molly was obviously more worried about the boys' abilities to thoroughly pack rather than the girls'.

The girls turned out to be good company, giving her a chance to take a few deep breaths as she listened to their carefree chatter. When Tonks had knocked, Hermione had been in the middle of explaining to Ginny the Muggle custom of skiing. It seemed she'd received a letter that morning from her parents detailing their trip to France. Tonks sat on the bed and listened bemusedly as Hermione patiently told the young Pure-blood witch, who'd had scarcely little exposure to the Muggle world, about how they'd travelled using the recently opened train that went under the English Channel and driven a car to their ski resort.

"Doesn't that seem mad to you?" Ginny asked Tonks as she placed her freshly laundered school robes on top of the other items in her trunk and closed the lid.

Tonks smiled and shook her head. "My dad's Muggle-born."

Hermione's head popped up from her scrutiny of the tower of books she was attempting to fit amongst her other things. "Your dad's Muggle-born and married a witch from the Black family?"

"Yup." Tonks scooted off the bed and drew her wand, shrinking the pile of books in Hermione's hands. "They ran off and got married after they graduated—caused a right scandal and got my mum blasted off that tapestry downstairs."

"That's terribly romantic," Ginny said with a heavy sigh.

"Haven't you got a boyfriend?" Tonks asked Ginny, remembering Charlie grousing about how much older Ginny seemed since the last time he'd seen her while they'd had tea after an Order meeting. "Your brother seemed none too happy about that."

Ginny shrugged. "He's not my true love, or anything."

"That title is saved for Harry," Hermione said slyly and ducked when Ginny threw a folded pair of socks at her.

"Do you fancy Harry?" Tonks asked.

"Ask her who she fancies," Ginny shot back, nodding her head at Hermione.

"All right, out with it," Tonks said, sitting back on the bed so she could rest against the headboard.

"I don't fancy anyone," Hermione said loftily.

"Rubbish," Ginny said with an exaggerated roll of her eyes that only a teenage girl could provide. "Just because he's too thick to notice doesn't mean you don't fancy him." Ginny turned to Tonks. "I keep telling her she'd be better off fancying Fred or George."

A slow smile crept across Tonks' face. "It's Ron, isn't it?"

Hermione's cheeks had gone pink. "It's completely daft, really—we're complete opposites."

"So are my mum and dad, but they're still mad for each other after all these years," Tonks said.

"Wouldn't it be easier if we could choose the person who makes the most sense," Hermione said with a groan.

Tonks cast a Feather-Weight charm to the trunk Ginny had just latched. "It's more complicated than that, I'm afraid. There's no Arithmancy equation to help you figure out the answer," she teased.

Both girls were quiet for a moment before Ginny rounded the bed and sat next to Tonks. "We were hoping you'd pop in Headquarters more over the holidays."

"It's hard, you know...leading a double life. It ends up taking a lot of my time," Tonks said with a small smile, wearily hoping they wouldn't bring up Remus. She had no desire to think about him after the row they'd just had downstairs.

The girls exchanged glances as Tonks charmed Hermione's trunk the same as Ginny's. She raised her eyebrows in question.

"We overheard Sirius telling professor Lupin to pull his head out of his arse the other night," Ginny stated baldly.

Tonks laughed despite herself. "Did you?"

"That's when we decided boys are prats," Ginny said as Hermione nodded fervently.

"Fortunately—or unfortunately, I've not decided which—they're not prats all the time," Tonks said with a sigh, thinking their former professor certainly wasn't prattish where his generosity as a lover was concerned...his clever fingers, his gentle kisses, the way his tongue had circled her navel.

Tonks closed her eyes with a grimace, shaking her head slightly to rid her head of those thoughts. After weeks of not seeing Remus, keeping her thoughts of him confined to what hex she'd like to use on him when she saw him again, seeing him in person just before downstairs made it harder to picture hexing him. The longing she felt had returned in full force the moment she'd clapped eyes on him.

"You'll be glad to know…"

Ginny's words thankfully broke Tonks away from her wayward thoughts.

"...and when we peaked around the corner, Professor Lupin had his wand pointed at Sirius and threatened a Silencing Charm that would last the rest of the holiday."

"How did you two come across this conversation?"

Ginny shrugged. "They were searching for Kreacher in the attic and we were hiding out on the top floor to escape the boys."

"I've come across loads of information about the lack of werewolf rights while researching house-elf rights," Hermione began tentatively. "With the way the wizarding world feels about werewolves, I'm sure he's frightened of...getting too close."

"House-elf rights?" Tonks asked with a slight grin, broadening into a proper smile when Hermione simply nodded as pink infused her cheeks again. She sighed and said, "Your advice sounds like my mother's."

"She would, wouldn't she, since Hermione's used to mothering the boys," Ginny said as she tested the Feather-Light Charm Tonks had cast on her trunk.

"I do not mother them." Hermione crossed her arms over her chest.

Ginny quirked an eyebrow at her friend. "You got them both homework planners for Christmas."

A sharp knock was immediately followed by Molly poking her head in and telling the girls it was time to leave. Tonks didn't mind the interruption. She shared a conspiratorial smile with Hermione and Ginny when numerous thumps from the hall told Tonks that Molly hadn't done the boys the same favor of charming their trunks.

"Come along, ladies," Tonks said, getting to her feet. "It's time to endure the Knight Bus."

.

As the purple double-decker bus vanished from view with a bang, Tonks watched the children make their way slowly up the drive and through the gates before turning away and starting up the street without a word. Just because the Headmaster had requested they meet him at the Hog's Head after dropping their charges off at Hogwarts didn't mean she couldn't make the short walk to the pub alone. She hadn't been disappointed that the Knight Bus had been crowded and her and Remus had split up, putting the children on different levels.

Her solitude was interrupted when heavy footsteps told Tonks that Remus was closely following her. Distracted, she tripped over a dip in the path that had been covered by snow and nearly fell to the ground. She couldn't decide if the knees of her denims being wet with snow would have been worth it to avoid the little thrill that ran through her body at Remus' touch when he caught her by the elbow and slid his arm around her waist to steady her. Hoping to ignore her body's traitorous response, she wrenched free from his grasp and increased her pace.

After a tensely quiet minute, Remus asked, "Can I not hope for us to be friends?"

Tonks snorted and didn't turn her head towards him when she answered, "You've seen me starkers, Remus. Reckon that makes the whole 'friends' idea rather awkward."

"We were just friends in the beginning," Remus said, easily catching up with her with his long strides.

She stopped abruptly and looked up at him, ignoring his pleading expression. "Were we? There was a time when you thought only of friendship?"

Remus opened his mouth to answer and quickly shut it again. He stood quietly for a moment before he quietly asked, "Would you take it back?"

"Funny thing about a shag—you can't take it back."

"It was more than a shag," he muttered.

Tonks looked down, unable to meet his eyes and unwilling to admit to him that what'd happened was most certainly more than a shag. "I wouldn't take it back." She swallowed and finally looked up to find Remus staring at her. "But I'd change the outcome."

"I'm doing this to keep you safe." Remus reached up and wound a finger around her dark blue hair with a frown.

Tonks pulled the lock free and pushed his hand away. "You're doing this to keep yourself safe," she said before turning and trudging up the rest of the snowy path leading up to the door of the Hog's Head.

The lack of heavy footsteps told her that he wasn't immediately following her; she resisted the urge to turn back. She believed what she'd said about keeping himself safe. In the wake of his rejection, she hadn't been sure why he'd broken things off—she'd only known that his excuse of Order duty was rubbish and she was angry and hurt. Now, knowing that he'd all the while been worried over a knob-head like Chuck Parsons and afraid she'd be put off by knowing what some werewolves were capable of, Tonks was sure that he was keeping her away to protect himself. It only made her more determined to show him that none of it changed how she felt about him. The only question was how could she make him see.

The Hog's Head was, for once, practically bustling with people—well, half the tables were taken, which was significantly more than usual and thus making it bustling as far as the Hog's Head was concerned. Dumbledore and Severus were sitting at the usual table near the fireplace, a teapot and a carafe of coffee in the middle of the table.

"Wotcher," Tonks said as she waved to Aberforth behind the bar and slid into the seat next to Severus.

"No trouble, I presume?" Dumbledore asked.

"Unless you count Stan Shunpike as trouble, then no, we had no trouble."

"Very good," Dumbledore said. Tonks thought he looked far more weary than usual, but what with the incident with Arthur and the constant trouble from the most revolting professor in Hogwarts history, she supposed she shouldn't be surprised that an elderly man would appear tired with that much on his shoulders. He peered at Tonks over his spectacles and asked, "Did Remus not—ah, never mind."

Tonks stared determinedly down at the table as Remus took a seat next to the Headmaster. She preferred not to meet the gaze of either man across the table from her and only looked up when a mug of coffee, obviously doctored to her liking with milk by the look of the lightened color, slid into her vision.

"Thanks," she said to Severus, who acknowledged with his usual curt nod.

"Now that you are recovered from your last adventure, I daresay it's time to plan your next mission," Dumbledore said. He took a sip of his tea. "This go-round, you'll pose as a couple enjoying their honeymoon whilst gathering the necessary information."

Tonks turned to Severus with a slight grin. "And here you thought you'd be rid of me."

Severus merely arched a brow and crossed his arms over his chest, his gaze fixed on Dumbledore.

Wary of Severus' lack of answer to her statement—they got on well enough now that he usually had at least a sarcastic barb ready for her after any sort of cheek—Tonks also looked at Dumbledore. She decided she didn't like the look of his usual twinkling gaze.

"Oh, you'll not be paired with Severus for this mission," Dumbledore said, a slight smile twitching his mustache. "You'll be working with Remus."

A/N: And we're off! Welcome to "Friends to Lovers: There and Back Again". This story is an "Order of the Phoenix" -era love story that is a sequel to "Jinxed Hearts". You don't necessarily need to read "JH" first, but oh how I wish you would:). Updates will come as fast as I can possibly make them while working on an original fiction piece, potential blog posts, and tending to my nearly Weasley-sized brood of children and the ridiculous amount of volunteer commitments I take on. As always, please review:)