Hey guys:)

Ive had this idea whirling around my head for a long while now and I finally decided to start writing it after the sanvers breakup- usually I prefer writing canon universe stuff but canon is not very fun to write atm- whereas this was very fun:D and made it so much easier to get through whats happening on the show- so im kinda sad its almost finished but also glad to be able to get it out there for you guys to read:)

theres no superpowers in this one and ive changed it a little so that maggie moves in with her aunt age 17- ive tried my best to keep them as in character as possible but it was a lot harder than i originally anticipated! most of maggie and alexs background is similar to canon. (Id like to add to anyone from nebraska-im just going by what ive read and what I think maggies view of it would be, nothing personal!)

I really hope you like it:)

xxx

Maggie started up at Midvale High halfway through her Junior year of high school.

New city, new school, new home.

New life.

After her parents kicked her out, her Aunt Maria offered to take her in. So, Maggie moved in with her aunt, into her two-bedroom apartment in central Midvale.

Her aunt was Maggie's mom's cousin. She was a lot younger than Maggie's mom and different in almost every way. It took Maggie quite some time to open up to her. Maggie hardly talked for the first few weeks. Things were awkward and stunted as they got used to each other and the change to their lives. But Maria was kind and very patient with her, she tried to give her all the time and space that she needed. And she was understanding in a way that Maggie had never experienced before from any members of her family. It took some getting used to.

It took Maggie time getting used to everything else too. Everything in Midvale was so different to Blue Springs. The buildings, the people, even the air felt different.

That first week, Maggie just stayed in her small room, trying to get to grips with how her life had just upturned so suddenly. Trying to understand how Eliza could have betrayed her trust like that. And how Maggie herself could have been so naïve as to think that she could trust her.

Maggie knew her parents would react badly to her being gay, that's why she had always planned on telling them after she moved out. It's not like Maggie had the greatest relationship with her parents. They weren't the type of parents who were very affectionate or loving. And Maggie had always known she wasn't meant to stay in Blue Springs. She had always had a plan to get out of there as soon as she could. She had her sights set on a college in New York and then she would hopefully join the NYPD. But all those plans were for when she had finished high school and was in a position to take care of herself. Not like this.

But once Maggie had had enough time to sort things out in her head- about what she was going to do, she realised that she could still stick to her plan. And she was more determined now than she had ever been.

She just wanted to finish her studies well and get into a good college, as far away as possible from any memory of this part of her life. She just had to make it through these two years.

Things were difficult at first but settling into school wasn't as daunting as she thought it would be. She got some attention at first, a few guys tried to ask her out, but they soon realised that Maggie wasn't interested. She found a group of friends to hang out with and the news of her joining the school quickly blew over. Unlike her old school, there were so many kids in Midvale High, Maggie was easily able to keep herself to herself.

And she didn't stand out like she did in her old school. Going from being one of the only non-white kids in Blue Springs to having almost every other person she saw be non-white was quite a shock. She could walk down the hallways without receiving unwanted comments or dirty looks. And that was such a welcome change.

As the semester went by, Maggie got more settled into her routine. Her classes were going well, and she liked her teachers well enough, and things with her aunt were slowly getting easier as well.

Over Spring break, she even managed to get a job at a coffee shop so she could start saving up some money for herself. And while things were still hard, they seemed to be going as well as they could. The first couple of months went by without any dints in her plan.

But that was all before Alex Danvers came into her life.

xxxx

Alex had so much on her plate with her studies and her family that small things like a new student coming to their school usually didn't signal on her radar. But she couldn't help but notice Maggie when she first joined.

Maggie was a Junior too and in some of the same classes as her. All Alex really knew about her was that she had moved from Nebraska. But, just from being in some of the same classes as her, Alex could tell that she was smart. And Alex found herself intrigued by her. But Maggie seemed quiet and reserved, and Alex wasn't the type of person to go out of her way to befriend someone, so Alex never found the opportunity to talk to her for the first few months.

That is, until, after spring break.

In their first AP Chemistry lesson back after spring break, their teacher, Mr Jacobs, told them that they were going to be assigned their chemistry project next lesson which was worth thirty per cent of their final grade.

It was a partnered project and Alex hated partnered projects. She much preferred doing things by herself. She always got paired with the worst people. Last year she had got stuck with Max Lord and he had been insufferable. The chances of being paired up with him again were low but she wasn't going to take that chance. Her grade was too important to her so she decided to make sure that she didn't get stuck with him.

After class, she went up to Mr Jacobs.

"Sir, have you assigned our partners for the project yet? I'd like to know who I'm with."

Mr Jacobs looked up at her. "Why can't you wait until next week like everyone else?"

"I want to make sure I'm not with Max."

Mr Jacobs looked a little amused. "Alex, I can't just change partners for everyone who asks."

"Sir, you know I don't work well with him. Can't an exception be made just this once? Please?"

He raised his eyebrow at her slightly, and Alex just smiled at him, undeterred.

Mr Jacobs sighed and went to his computer. "Let me have a look." He put his glasses on to browse the page, before finding what he was looking for. He looked back at Alex with a smile. "You're with Maggie Sawyer."

"Maggie Sawyer?" Alex said dumbly, and Mr Jacobs nodded.

"She's a good student- smart and hardworking, you shouldn't have any problems with her." He raised his eyebrows at her, amused. "Happy with that?"

It took her a second but Alex eventually smiled. She didn't know Maggie personally, but Alex was sure that she would be a whole lot better than rest of the class.

Later that day, she was in the library during her free period with Lucy and Winn when she noticed Maggie sitting in the corner, doing some work.

"That's Maggie," she whispered to Lucy and Winn, pointing to Maggie in the corner. Alex had told them about the chemistry project. "Do you think I should go say hi?" She wanted to introduce herself, and maybe find out a little bit more about her.

"Wow," Lucy teased. "Alex Danvers trying to make friends, I never thought I'd see the day."

Alex rolled her eyes. "It's for the project, dumbass."

She made her way over to Maggie's table and Maggie looked up to see her, a little surprised. She took her earphones out of her ears.

"Hi," Alex smiled. "You're Maggie right?"

Maggie smiled with a nod. "Yeah."

"I'm Alex." She held out her hand a little awkwardly and Maggie took it with a smile.

"We're in the same chemistry class right?" Maggie asked, somewhat confused and Alex smiled at the fact that Maggie remembered.

"Yeah, we are. Actually, that's why I came over. You know that project Mr Jacobs was telling us about today…we've been paired together for it."

"Oh, okay…cool."

"Yeah…" Alex nodded. She didn't know what else to say so she quickly came up with something to keep the conversation going. "I was wondering if you wanted to set up some days we could meet up to work on it or whatever."

Maggie smiled. "Yeah, sure, that sounds good."

Alex moved to take a seat opposite Maggie and Maggie moved some of her books from the table to make space for her.

"You moved here from Nebraska right?" Alex asked

"Yeah," Maggie nodded with a small. "Blue Springs, Nebraska," Maggie said, trying to keep her tone light.

"Do you miss it there?"

Maggie let out a little chuckle at the question. She narrowed her eyes playfully, pretending to consider it. "Uh…'miss' probably isn't the right word."

"No?" Alex laughed. She had heard a few things about Nebraska but she didn't want to assume. "Why not?"

"Well, Blue Springs was voted one of the worst towns in the state so…there's that." She shrugged cutely at the end and Alex laughed.

"Oh. Glad to be out then?"

Maggie's smile softened a little. "You could say that."

Alex wondered why Maggie had moved. "Did your parents get a job out here?" she asked casually.

There was an almost imperceptible falter in Maggie's smile but Alex noticed it.

"Uh- no, I'm actually living with my aunt right now."

"Oh cool," was Alex's automatic response and Maggie nodded. And Alex could tell that, despite how well Maggie was hiding it, she had hit a sensitive subject.

But she didn't know how sensitive it was, so she decided to avoid questioning further. "I live my mom- and sister," she added awkwardly, and Maggie let out a little laugh at the information and Alex laughed too at herself.

"So…" Alex changed the subject, taking her notebook out of her bag. "Uh- the project. Are you free on Mondays after school?"

Maggie thought about it for a second. "Um- I work Mondays but what about Tuesday?"

"Yeah, Tuesday's good." Alex marked it down in her notebook and smiled up at Maggie. "Where do you work?" she asked, deeming it a safe enough question.

"The Coffee Bean, near the park?"

"Oh, yeah I know it." Alex nodded with a smile. She walked by it often, but she hadn't been there in a while.

They talked about their project for a little bit longer and when it got close to the end of their free period, Alex moved to get up. "Well…I guess I'll see you in class then?"

Maggie nodded with a kind smile. "See you in class."

After school, Alex found herself thinking back to her conversation with Maggie. About how Maggie had faltered when Alex asked about her parents. Alex's thoughts went to when Kara came to live with them. She hoped it wasn't the same reason why Maggie had moved. She knew how hard it was losing a parent. But she tried to not let her mind go to the worst possibility- it could be anything. She didn't know why she felt so much concern for Maggie after only having just met her.

During dinner that night, Alex told her mom and Kara about the project and Maggie.

"I've been partnered with the new girl for my chemistry project," Alex started.

Before Eliza could even reply, Alex was telling them more. "Her name's Maggie. I spoke to her for the first time today. She lives with her aunt but I didn't ask her why because it seemed like an uncomfortable subject."

Eliza nodded. "What is she like?"

"Really nice, and smart and Mr Jacobs said she's hardworking so it could have been worse. I'm actually kinda looking forward to it." And Eliza's eyebrows raised a little in surprise at that because usually Alex complained about assignments she had to do with other people. She didn't like having to rely on another person for her grade. So it was surprising for Eliza to hear Alex somewhat positive about this one. This girl Maggie had obviously made a good impression on Alex.

On Saturday, Alex went to library and on her way home she decided to go to The Coffee Bean to to see if Maggie was working. And to her surprise, she was. She was wearing a cap and apron and a maroon polo top and it made Alex smile- she thought she looked cute.

Alex went up to the counter. "Hey."

Maggie looked up, surprised to see her. "Alex, hey!" Her smile was warm.

Alex had a stack of books in her arms and Maggie nodded at them in question. "That's a lot of books."

"Oh, yeah, I just went to the library to do some research, you know- for the paper," Alex explained.

And Maggie smiled in that amused way she did, with a tilt of her head that for some reason made Alex a little flustered.

Maggie chuckled a little. They had yet to be properly assigned the project but Alex was already doing research for it. "Looks like I'm partnered with a nerd," she teased lightly, with a grin that brought out her dimples. "Lucky me."

Alex tried really hard to fight the smile that wanted to spread across her face at the gentle teasing. "Well…it's always good to be prepared."

Maggie nodded, still slightly amused.

"So, what would you like to drink?"

"Oh yeah," Alex awkwardly remembered. She had just come to see if Maggie would be there, but she couldn't leave without ordering something. That would look totally weird. So she ordered a coffee and muffin.

Alex watched as Maggie prepared it and she had the odd feeling of wanting to linger and talk to Maggie more, but Maggie had other customers so Alex didn't get the chance.

Maggie handed the coffee and muffin to her with a smile and they said their goodbyes. Once outside, Alex looked down at the cup and saw that Maggie had written 'nerd' on it in lovely cursive, with a little smiley face at the end and Alex couldn't control her smile.

And she didn't even realise it, but she smiled all the way home.

On Tuesday, Maggie went to Alex's house after school to work on the project.

She met Eliza and Kara briefly before going up to Alex's room to get started.

Alex was setting up her laptop when she caught Maggie looking at a picture of her with her dad on the bedside table.

Alex didn't know Maggie's story and she didn't want to pressure her into talking about it if she didn't want to, but maybe if Alex told her about herself then Maggie would feel more comfortable.

Alex walked up beside her. "That's my dad," she said softly. "He passed away three years ago."

Maggie's face fell in sympathy. "I'm sorry." Maggie looked back at the picture, both he and Alex were smiling wide and carefree. "He looks kind," she said and Alex looked at the picture, sad.

"He was."

There was another photo beside that one of Alex with her mom and dad, but it didn't have Kara in it. "Your sister's not in this one?" Maggie asked.

Alex looked at the old family photo fondly. It was before Kara had come to live with them.

"Kara's adopted…we adopted her when she was twelve after her parents died."

"Woah," Maggie breathed out. She would never have guessed it from meeting her just now. Kara had been so bubbly and nice, it made Maggie's heart soften for the girl. Alex and Kara had already experienced so much tragedy in their life at such a young age.

"Our parents worked together and were really close," Alex continued. "So… when it happened…mom and dad didn't think twice about adopting her."

Alex let out a heavy breath. "It was a really hard time for- losing her parents, and then dad too- all within two years. And for mom, having to cope with it all on her own." Alex looked down as she thought about it.

Maggie nodded softly, listening to Alex's words as she looked down at the picture.

"What about you?" Maggie asked. Alex hadn't mentioned her own experience in all this. "How did you cope?"

Alex looked up at her, surprised at the question, and then after a second let out a self-deprecating laugh, looking back down. "Not very well." She let out a sigh, wondering why she felt comfortable enough telling Maggie all of this deep stuff. She never talked about this to anyone. Maybe it was because she knew that Maggie was going through some personal things too. And she felt like Maggie actually understood and cared.

She looked back up at Maggie's gentle expression. "Even before dad died, things were complicated. Going from being an only child to suddenly not wasn't easy. It was nothing against Kara," Alex made sure to clarify. "It…it just put a strain on my relationships, particularly with my mom. And then afterwards, when my dad-" she paused a second, gathering herself. "Afterwards they were really difficult too, but it brought us all closer together and now…Kara's my best friend."

Maggie's concerned expression softened into a small, gentle smile. "Your parents sound like amazing people," Maggie said softly. "And it's really nice you and Kara are so close now." Alex smiled at Maggie but she could see some sadness in Maggie's expression. She could tell that that wasn't the case for her.

"Do you have any siblings?"

"Uh-" Maggie looked down. "An older brother."

"Are you close?" Alex asked tentatively.

"No, not really." Maggie wasn't close to her brother at all. He had always been their parents favourite and Maggie had always been the odd one out in the family.

They were both quiet for a moment, and the question of Maggie's family was hanging between them. And Alex had just shared so much, Maggie felt she should too. And she felt comfortable enough with Alex to tell her this much.

Maggie broke the small silence. "He and my parents are still back in Nebraska," Maggie said.

"Why?" Alex asked softly. She didn't want to push too hard.

She could tell that Maggie was nervous from the way that she looked down and held her hands together.

"Because my parents made me move." Maggie sighed, reasoning that she might as well just tell the truth and see how Alex takes it. She didn't want to hide things anymore. She had already lost her family. "They kicked me out because they found out I was gay."

Alex didn't immediately react and Maggie continued, nervous.

"I mean, small town and all that, they thought it would be easier to send me here." It was a half life, she was dulling down the story because she didn't feel comfortable putting all her heaviness on Alex and making herself so vulnerable when they had only just become friends. And she wasn't sure how Alex would react.

Alex's concerned expression shifted into surprise and she didn't know what to say for a moment. She had not been expecting that. But she quickly recovered.

"Maggie, I'm so sorry," she breathed out and watched as Maggie just shrugged, looking down. "That's…awful." Alex was surprised at the anger that she felt.

Maggie felt awkward at the strength of Alex's concern but relieved too. "It's…yeah," she dismissed. She felt that familiar feeling building up again and she tried to brush it off quickly. "I'm with my aunt now, and she's cool."

Alex didn't look fully convinced but she let it go, getting the feeling that Maggie didn't want to talk about it too much.

Her heart dipped in sympathy for the girl sitting in front of her. Alex would never have been able to guess that she was going through all of this. Not from looking at her, or even talking to her. She was good at hiding her emotions.

Alex didn't know what to say. She didn't have the right words to take Maggie's sadness away- just as nobody had the right words to take hers away. She offered the best thing she could in that moment.

"I'm glad you have your aunt," Alex said softly, but she knew from her own experience that sometimes it was difficult to talk to certain people about these things. "But…if you need anyone else to talk to, I'm here," Alex offered sincerely. It seemed like Maggie wasn't really the talking type but she wanted to offer anyway, just so that she knew.

And Maggie let out a small, genuine smile, her heart softening in appreciation. They had only known each other for a little while but Maggie believed her.

After that, they got together every Tuesday after school to get the project done, and sometimes on the weekends too. Sometimes they would end up just hanging out, instead of working on the project. They both really enjoyed the time they spent together which, for Alex, was new because she had always preferred working alone. But her and Maggie just seemed to click. Maggie wasn't a hindrance like Alex felt most people were, she had good ideas and actually made doing things more enjoyable.

So when the project came to an end, Alex found herself disappointed. The project had become an excuse to hang out and Alex felt that they had formed a bond and she didn't want that to end. And she hoped that neither did Maggie.

After handing in their work to Mr Jacobs, Maggie turned to Alex with a smile.

"We made a pretty good team, no?"

Alex smiled. "Yeah we did." There was a little pause before Alex just went for it. "Hey, do you still want to hang out today after school, you know, just to study together, seeing as we work so well together and all." Alex hoped her nerves weren't too obvious. She hated that she was so awkward about things like this.

Maggie just let out a little laugh. "Yeah," she said, "I'd like that."

Alex tried to play it cool, a little embarrassed about just how happy that made her.

So they continued hanging out together after school. And soon, Maggie became a part of Alex's friend group. And being Alex's close friend, the gang welcomed her with open arms.

They were all sitting together one lunchtime, making plans for the weekend. Lucy was telling everyone that her parents were going to be away that weekend.

"Hey Maggie," Lucy said, "you wanna come round Friday, we usually get together at my place when my parents are away?"

Maggie was a little surprised by the offer, still feeling new to the group.

"Yeah, you should come," Alex nudged her. "It'll be fun- video games, movies, pizza…and ooooh, Lucy has a pool table."

Maggie laughed at Alex's enthusiasm in her attempt to persuade her.

She agreed to come and everyone smiled- Alex especially so.

Friday night came and Maggie went to Lucy's house with Alex and Kara. When they got there, Winn and James were already there with pizza and snacks and drinks, playing a videogame.

Lucy's house had a game room, with a big flat screen, and a pool table in the corner. They sat about talking for a while before Alex asked Maggie if she wanted to play some pool.

They played a little game and Alex was really good, she beat Maggie quite easily. Maggie wasn't really surprised, Alex seemed to be good at everything.

"Is there anything you're not good at?" Maggie said playfully.

Alex let out an uncharacteristic, shy laugh. She pretended to think about it. "Hmmm, I'll let you know if anything ever comes up," she managed to joke and Maggie shook her head at her with a laugh.

After their game, James came over to ask them if they wanted to play doubles with him and Lucy.

"Winner gets to choose the movie," Lucy said with a grin as she came up behind James.

"You're on," Alex replied, confident as ever.

James set the table up and broke.

"Maggie," James said, handing her the cue. "You're up."

Maggie lined up the shot to play and she felt Alex come up next to her.

"Here," Alex said, asking for the cue. "Hold it like this."

"Hey, that's cheating," Lucy protested, before Alex could even finish showing her.

Alex turned to Lucy with an annoyed look. "How is it cheating?"

"You're not allowed to assist your partner," Lucy said matter of factly.

Alex scoffed at that. "Oh please, James practically spoons you when you play. This is not cheating."

James looked embarrassed and Lucy rolled her eyes.

Alex went back to showing Maggie how to hold the cue. One Alex had shown her, Maggie took back the stick, bending down into position again. Alex came closer to her and gently guided Maggie's back arm lower so that the cue was positioned straighter, and she guided her hands a little too.

"Like that," Alex said and Maggie warmed at the close proximity and touch. She ignored it though, knowing that it was just innocent.

She lined up the cue and made the shot and, sure enough, the ball went straight in. She straightened up and smiled at Alex and Alex was already beaming at her.

"Cheating," Lucy said behind them, a teasing smile on her face, and Alex went back to arguing with her again.

James and Maggie just laughed at them both.

Maggie went to lean against the table next to James. "And I thought I was competitive," she said to him.

James chuckled a little. "I don't think anyone's got anything on these two, they're like children," he joked and Maggie laughed.

Alex and Maggie ended up winning the game but given Lucy's incessant claims of cheating, they ended up voting on what movie to watch instead. And so they ended up watching Mean Girls.

And sitting with them all together like that, Maggie felt like a normal teenager for the first time in a long time.

It was a week later and Alex was out having lunch with Lucy and Kara. Maggie was at work and Alex was a little distracted texting her.

"Alex…Alex!"

"What!" Alex looked up to see Lucy scowling at her.

"Were you even listening to what I just said?"

"Uh…yeah?" Alex said not so convincingly.

"No you weren't," Lucy accused, looking at Alex as she went back to checking her phone. Lucy's expression turned into a grin. "Who are you texting?" she asked, her tone teasing, dripping with insinuation and Alex straightened, getting defensive.

"No one."

"Oh really? What's with the smile and heart-eyes then huh?"

Alex made a poor attempt at remaining cool. "What? Heart-ey-? Pssh no."

Maggie had just text her that she was free to hang out tomorrow. Had she really been smiling so much about that? Enough for Lucy and Kara to tease her about it?

Kara leaned over to see who it was and for some reason Alex hid the phone out of sight.

"It's no one."

"Is it that boy from your biology class, the one who always tries to talk to you?" Kara asked, excited.

"Who, Dylan? Ew, no."

"Alex, why ew? He's cute…and smart…"

"Okay, okay," Alex interrupted her. "He's just…not my type."

"Ooooooh, so Alex Danvers has a type!" Lucy teased.

"Shut up!" Alex threw a fry at her and that was enough to distract them from the conversation.

Alex tried extra hard not to get distracted by texts from Maggie after that.

But afterwards, when she got home, Alex found herself thinking back to what had happened at lunch. About how Lucy and Kara had teased her unknowingly about Maggie.

She thought about Maggie for a moment. Obviously, she liked her, she was her friend. But not in that way. Right? She enjoyed hanging out with her. She was always happy to see her. They had just clicked together unlike Alex ever had with anybody else. But that didn't have to mean she liked her as anything other than a friend. It couldn't. She wasn't gay. Surely, she would have realised something like that by now.

She had dated boys before. Last year, she had dated Danny Adams for six weeks and it had been…fine. There just hadn't been much of a spark with him so she had called it off. But that didn't mean she wouldn't find a spark with any boy.

She thought about what Lucy had said about her having a type. She had never thought about it before, she didn't think she had one. But she tried to think about all the qualities that she found attractive in a person. The person had to be smart, of course. And hard-working, and passionate, and kind, and funny and easy going. It wasn't hard to come up with that list. But when she thought about physical attributes, things got a little fuzzier. She tried to think of boys. Their physical features- their faces, hair, body and she found herself frustrated at not being able to come up with anything concrete. But she just found it too awkward.

She closed her eyes and Maggie's smile and pretty eyes came into her mind involuntarily and her heart fluttered without her permission. She fell back against the bed, pulling her pillow over her face in frustration.

She couldn't like Maggie. Maybe she was just feeling like this because Maggie was so nice. Maybe it was just like a friend-crush.

She groaned into the pillow. She was meant to meet up with Maggie the next day and she was nervous about it all of a sudden. The idea of seeing Maggie right now felt like too much.

She quickly sent Maggie a message, making up some excuse about why she couldn't meet up tomorrow anymore.

Monday came, and with it some crashing realisations. She tried to avoid Maggie but she couldn't avoid her completely.

Lunch time came and they all sat together like normal. But it wasn't like normal for Alex. She couldn't concentrate enough to even finish her lunch. She was too distracted by Maggie. By how good she looked in simple jeans and a hoodie. By how her eyes crinkled adorably when Winn made a dumb joke.

It was one thing imagining Maggie's smile but seeing it in the flesh again had Alex's heart fluttering even more uncontrollably than the other night- especially now that she was realising her feelings for what they were.

Looking at Maggie sitting across the table from her, Alex knew she couldn't deny it anymore.

She was quiet during that lunch, and Maggie noticed.

"You okay?" Maggie asked softly and Alex nodded her head quickly. She looked up at Maggie's concerned expression and she couldn't handle it.

"Yeah, sorry," Alex said, beginning to get up. "I just- forgot that I had to ask Mrs Ferguson something." She quickly made up an excuse and ran out of there, leaving the others a bit confused.

At home, she was acting strange too and Kara was worried. It wasn't like Alex to just stay in bed doing nothing.

Kara went up to their room and sat next to Alex on her bed. Alex opened her eyes when she felt Kara next to her.

"Alex, what's wrong, are you not feeling well?" Her eyebrows were furrowed in worry.

Alex sighed, shaking her head. "No, I'm fine." She didn't realise she had been acting so obvious.

"You're not fine," Kara insisted. "You've been acting strange all week. What is it?"

Alex was just quiet for a moment. She didn't know what to say to Kara. She knew she wouldn't just let it go, she looked too worried. And Alex knew she had to tell someone. And there was nobody she trusted more than Kara.

She sat up, leaning forward and let out a huge exhale.

"You know how you guys were teasing me the other day?" Kara looked confused so Alex continued. "About the texting?"

Kara's eyes softened as she remembered and she nodded her head, confused at the change in topic. "What about it?"

"I was texting…Maggie," Alex breathed out.

Kara's eyebrows furrowed further in confusion. She didn't really know what Alex was trying to say. "Okay?"

Alex sighed again, she would have to make it clearer than that. "You remember what Lucy said to me?"

Kara nodded. "The heart-eyes thing?"

"Yeah," Alex said. "And well…she…she was right- about…Maggie," she admitted.

Alex could see the comprehension dawning on Kara's face and she was starting to go into a panic, admitting this out loud for the first time.

"After she said that, I couldn't stop thinking about it. About why she had said it, and why I had reacted the way I did. And then I couldn't stop thinking about Maggie. How I…feel whenever I'm with her and just…seeing her today made it even more real. And I-I don't know what to do-," Alex's ramble was getting more panicked and Kara stopped her.

"Hey Alex, it's okay," she said as she leaned forward to take Alex's hands in hers. "It's okay."

Alex looked up at Kara, scared.

"Are you saying-" Kara paused, trying to find the right words. "Are you saying you have…feelings for Maggie?"

And there was the question, as simple as can be. Alex looked up to the ceiling and she felt tears well up in her eyes. She looked back down at Kara and nodded and a tear fell down her cheek.

"Alex," Kara whispered, taking Alex into a hug.

Kara was overwhelmed too but she tried not to show it for Alex's sake. She just knew she had to comfort Alex for now.

"You don't have to do anything for now," Kara assured her, and Alex hugged her tighter in relief.

The next morning, Alex felt somewhat better about things, having told Kara.

"Are you…going to tell her?" Kara asked. Kara really liked Maggie and the thought of her and Alex dating was unexpected, but it made her happy. Alex and Maggie were already so close.

"I don't know," Alex said. The thought was terrifying. She had never felt like this before. But it was a mixture of fear and excitement. "She's my friend."

"Maybe you should ask Lucy, her and James were friends before they started dating."

Alex nodded at the idea.

At school, Alex asked Lucy to come around to hers after school.

They had just got home and were sitting in Alex and Kara's room when Alex brought it up.

"How did you tell James that you liked him?"

Lucy looked up at the question, surprised. She was intrigued but shrugged, trying to keep it casual. "I just asked him out."

"Just like that?" Alex was disappointed with the answer.

Lucy sighed, knowing that Alex was looking for something more substantial so she decided to be more honest. "I always knew there was something there, and I knew he liked me too so I just went for it."

Alex exhaled and looked down at the answer, the thought of doing that with Maggie seemed so scary. But she felt the same way with Maggie. She felt that there was something there.

"Why?" Lucy asked. She had an inkling, but she wanted Alex to tell her.

Alex looked at her for a moment and then to Kara who gave her a nod of encouragement.

Alex looked down, quiet and nervous again. "I think…I like….Maggie."

She waited for Lucy's reaction and Lucy was silent for a moment before her face formed into a huge grin.

"Oh my God, I knew it!" Lucy exclaimed.

And that was not the reaction that Alex had been expecting.

"What?"

Lucy smiled at her shock. "Alex…your crush is pretty obvious."

Alex felt a little put out. Had she really been that obvious?

Lucy softened at Alex's look. Now probably wasn't the time for teasing. "So…you're gay?" she asked as gently as possible.

Alex fumbled a little. She hadn't figured that out yet and she still felt uncomfortable using the word. "I…don't know, maybe? I've never liked anyone like this before," Alex admitted.

"Not even Danny?" Kara asked.

Alex shook her head and Kara's face fell with what looked like guilt. Kara had been the one to encourage her to go out with him.

"I'm sorry we pushed you to go out with him so much," Kara said softly.

Alex shook her head. "It's not your fault, you didn't know…I didn't even know."

"For what it's worth," Lucy chimed in, breaking the seriousness. "Maggie's way cuter than Danny."

"Hey," Alex laughed, pushing Lucy's shoulder, trying to hide her smile and the stupid wave of jealousy that ran through her.

Lucy laughed. "Easy there Alex, she's all yours," she teased and Alex blushed.

"Shut up, she's not…mine," Alex sputtered awkwardly and Lucy and Kara grinned at Alex's embarrassment.

"But you want her to be," Kara sung, teasing and Alex gave them a pointed look.

"I swear to God, don't make me regret telling you," she said but she secretly loved the teasing.

Lucy laughed. "Okay, in all seriousness, what are you going to do?"

Alex let out an exhale, looking down. "I don't know."

"You should tell her," Lucy said softly. "It's pretty obvious she likes you too."

Alex felt her heart flutter at that, but she didn't want to get her hopes up. "Really?"

"Yeah," Lucy said. "You want me to tell her for you?" she offered with a smile.

"No thanks," Alex immediately shot down Lucy's far too generous offer. "I can do it."

"Alright, Romeo," Lucy teased.

Alex rolled her eyes at her but she couldn't contain her smile.

Alex waited for the right opportunity to tell Maggie. It took her two weeks to actually work up the courage to tell her.

It was the last week of school and they were hanging out in the library during their free period. Finals were over and the atmosphere in school was easy and relaxed. Maggie seemed to be in a good mood and they had been laughing together about something funny that had happened with a customer at Maggie's work.

It was just them two together sitting in the corner of the library and Alex knew that she wouldn't find a better opportunity. And she didn't want to wait any longer. She wanted Maggie to know.

Alex let out a big exhale, fiddling nervously with the pen that was in her hand.

Maggie noticed Alex's nervousness and looked up from her book. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Alex said but her smile was not so convincing from the look that Maggie gave her and Alex sighed.

"Have you-" Alex started but she stuttered in her nerves, changing the sentence. "Lucy was telling me it's her and James' anniversary in a couple weeks."

Maggie's expression showed a little confusion at the change of subject but she smiled. "Oh yeah? How long have they been together?"

"Two years."

"Wow, that's pretty good."

Alex nodded. "Yeah, she was telling me about how they first started dating and…it just got me thinking about some things- like…how do you even go about telling the person you like that you like them?"

Oh Maggie thought. Alex liked someone. It was obvious from the change of subject and the way she was behaving. And if Maggie was being honest, she had noticed that Alex had been acting strange for some weeks now. And now she understood why.

Was Alex asking her advice about how to ask her crush out? Because Maggie had tried that once before and it had ended horribly. If Alex knew about that then maybe she wouldn't be asking Maggie for help. But Alex was straight and so the situation was different. She didn't have to be careful in the same way that she did.

"You like someone?" Maggie asked softly, putting her book down on the table. They hadn't really talked about things like this before with each other, so she understood why Alex might feel a little awkward about it.

Alex let out a little nervous laugh but she didn't deny it.

"It's…a friend," is all Alex said.

Maggie smiled softly with a nod. Maggie knew that there were a lot of guys who liked Alex but Alex usually didn't give any of them the time of day but maybe that had changed. It could be any of the boys from her classes.

Maggie pushed down the small, irrational prick of jealousy that settled in her chest that she had no right to feel.

She didn't really know what to say but she knew that Alex was looking for some encouragement from her. "That's really great Alex," she managed to get out as sincerely as possible. And she was happy for her.

Alex nodded, nervous. "But I don't want to make things awkward if they don't like me back. I really don't want to ruin the friendship."

Maggie nodded softly, she understood that. But who wouldn't like Alex back?

"Do you think you have a chance?"

Alex looked at her for a small moment, at Maggie's kind eyes and sweet smile and she felt her heart start to beat faster. "I hope so," she breathed.

Maggie's expression softened at that, endeared by Alex's uncertainty. She wondered who it was who was making Alex act like this.

She gave Alex a soft smile, deciding to just be honest. "Alex…I can't imagine anyone not liking you back." The words were friendly and innocent, unaware that Alex was talking about her and Alex's heart skipped a beat.

Alex knew how difficult she could be but Maggie seemed to think that it was impossible for someone not to like her back and it made Alex's heart start beating even faster.

Alex was quiet for a moment and Maggie went back to reading her book.

"What about you?" Alex said, out of nowhere.

"Hmm?" Maggie looked up from her book and Alex's heart started beating even faster at having Maggie's soft eyes on her- she almost wished that Maggie would look back down.

Alex knew that there was no turning back now so she just went for it. "Would you like me back?"

"Me?" Maggie's eyebrows scrunched up a little at Alex's question and she let out a little chuckle because Alex didn't usually make jokes like this. But when Alex's face remained serious and terribly nervous, Maggie's expression fell and she stilled, the meaning of Alex's words hitting her. "Me?"

Alex tried to control her breathing. She could hear her heartbeat loud in her ears. She let out a nervous, breathless laugh. "Yeah…you. I like you…a lot."

In that second, every interaction they had had went through Maggie's mind, trying to remember anything that could have suggested this.

It could have been anything. But Maggie had just assumed it was all platonic.

Maggie tried to collect her thoughts. But her instinctual reaction was to abort. Because this was not part of her plan. She couldn't believe that Alex was telling her she liked her. But she couldn't even let herself think too much about the fact because alarm bells were ringing inside Maggie's head that told her that this couldn't happen.

Alex was at a completely different point in her life right now, mentally. And Maggie was still trying to sort out the mess that was hers. She couldn't bring Alex into that. Alex didn't know the full extent of things.

And above all, she didn't want to risk the friendship that had become so important to her. They were in high school, and high school relationships didn't work out. She didn't want to start something knowing that it would end badly. She cared too much about Alex to do that.

Alex held her breath as she waited for Maggie to say something.

"Alex-I-" Maggie breathed- and it was the wrong thing to say.

Alex's stomach dropped because she could tell from Maggie's tone and her expression that she was trying to let her down gently.

"You don't feel the same," Alex said bluntly, without letting Maggie finish her sentence because panic mode had already gone off. All her courage had burnt out and all she wanted to do was run away in embarrassment.

Maggie sighed. "Alex…"

"No, it's okay," Alex said, quickly packing up her stuff, too embarrassed to let the conversation continue.

Maggie tried to call after her but Alex just ran out of there without a backward glance.

And Maggie just watched her go, because she didn't know what to say. Her own mind was swarming with a million thoughts and her heart with a million feelings.

She dropped her head into her hands, trying to make sense of what had just happened. How things had changed so unexpectedly.

Alex ran straight home, without even waiting for Kara.

Eliza was in the kitchen when Alex came in through the door and she saw the tears down Alex's face as Alex tried to hide them and make her escape upstairs.

"Alex? Alex, come here." She went up to her immediately and Alex couldn't hide her tears. "What happened?" Alex was an emotional person but she had never seen her come home from school like this.

Alex tried to get her words out but couldn't and Eliza took her into a hug, shushing her. She held her against her, waiting for her to calm down until she could talk. "Sweetheart, what happened?"

Alex tried to force herself to calm down. Her mom sounded really worried and Alex knew she was overreacting but she couldn't help it. "It's nothing," she managed to get out.

Eliza leaned back, taking Alex's face in her hands, wiping her tears away. Alex's eyes told her otherwise. "It's obviously something sweetheart."

Eliza waited for Alex to say something but Alex still didn't answer, even though Eliza could see that she wanted to.

"Alex," Eliza said softly after a moment. "Does this have anything to do with Maggie?"

Alex looked up in surprise, eyebrows crinkled. "Maggie?"

And Eliza's eyes softened at Alex's surprise. Her daughter had always been bad at hiding her emotions. And anyone would have been able to see the shift in Alex since befriending Maggie. It was obvious how Alex behaved around her.

"Honey, you talk about her all the time," she said gently, and she watched as Alex's face transformed with so many emotions. She smiled at her softly, wanting to ease whatever fears she may have. "You've always been awful at hiding things."

Alex fell against Eliza in both relief and a need for comfort. Alex knew that her mom would accept her but she had still been scared about telling her.

"Honey, is that why you're upset, because you like Maggie? You know I love you no matter what."

Alex hugged her mom tighter. She shook her head, and her face scrunched up in pain again.

"What is it Alex?"

"I-" Alex found it difficult to get her words out over her tears. "I told her I like her but-" Alex started crying again, unable to finish the sentence.

"Oh sweetheart," Eliza breathed, as the understanding fell over her. She took Alex back into her arms. Alex cried against her and Eliza shushed her, stroking her hair.

Alex shook her head against Eliza's chest. "I feel so stupid."

"You're not stupid," Eliza said strongly. "You're so incredibly smart and brave."

It was at that moment that Kara came through the door.

"Alex, you didn't wait for me-" She stopped short as she saw the scene. "What happened?"

Alex sniffed. "I… told Maggie."

Kara's eyebrows rose in surprise. One, at the fact that Alex had done it. Two, at the fact that Eliza seemed to know about it. And three, at the fact that Alex was crying what looked like sad tears.

"What did she say?"

"She said she doesn't like me?"

Kara was surprised to hear that. "She said that?"

Alex sighed. "No…but she didn't have to. I just…saw in it in her face…it was so embarrassing."

Kara came over to hug her too. "I'm so sorry Alex."

Alex couldn't handle all the pity right now, she just wanted to go to her room she could cry on her own. "I just…need to be alone for a while."

And Eliza and Kara let her go to have some space.

After Alex had left the library, Maggie had sat there for a while, trying to figure out what to do. Alex had run off without letting her explain herself. And Maggie didn't want Alex to think that she didn't like her, or to assume things about why she had reacted the way she had.

She decided that she had to talk to her and she didn't want to leave it too long. The sooner she explained things to Alex the better it would be. She really didn't want their friendship to be ruined by this.

She made her way over to Alex's house. She didn't know exactly what to expect. She was hoping that Alex would open the door because she didn't know how much Eliza knew, and she didn't want her to be angry or disappointed with her.

She took a deep breath in before she knocked on the door. And Eliza answered the door.

"Maggie," Eliza said with a concerned expression and Maggie immediately knew that Eliza knew.

Maggie held her hands together, nervous. "Mrs Danvers," she tried to smile a little. "Is Alex home?" she asked softly, hoping Eliza wouldn't tell her to go home.

Eliza could see how nervous and concerned Maggie was. And Eliza knew her daughter, how she could be impulsive and rash. And from what Alex had said earlier, she knew that Alex had probably not given Maggie a chance to explain things.

Eliza nodded gently. "She's upstairs honey." And she opened the door for Maggie to come in. Maggie saw Kara and gave her an awkward hello before going up to Alex's room.

She knocked on the door and she heard Alex's soft 'come in' and opened the door.

Alex was lying down on the bed and when she saw that it was Maggie she sat up awkwardly in surprise, wiping at her dry tears and pushing her hair behind her ears.

"Hi," Maggie said softly, awkwardly. "Your mom said I could come up."

Alex just nodded, too embarrassed to say anything. She had made herself vulnerable and now she felt foolish. She could tell that Maggie was nervous. She wanted to tell Maggie that she didn't have to explain why she didn't feel the same way. Alex wasn't conceited enough to think that Maggie had to like her. She had just thought that there was something there. But she had obviously read things wrong.

There was a horrible tension between them- an undeniable shift in things between them that Alex hated. It wasn't like Maggie was just a casual friend and they could just easily forget about this. Maggie was one of her closest friends- someone she told things to that she didn't tell anyone else. And now there was this horrible thing between them and Alex didn't know if they could get past it.

They were in front of each other, not knowing what to say and Maggie tried to break the awkwardness. She didn't want to lose their friendship. It had become one of the most important things to her and she knew she had to be vulnerable and honest with Alex to salvage it.

"Alex..." she started softly.

"You don't need to explain," Alex interrupted. "I get that you don't like me like that." Alex hated how petulant she sounded but she couldn't help it right now.

Maggie walked over to sit on the end of Alex's bed. There was plenty of space between them but Alex still shifted a little to sit straighter.

"I-" Maggie sighed, fumbling in her explanation. She wanted to get this right. "Alex, if you want me to leave I will but…I didn't want to leave things as they were."

Alex was looking down at her own hands and didn't say anything and Maggie sighed.

"Alex…I would never want to hurt you, I-… I'm just not ready to…date anyone right now." Maggie looked down. "I know I don't talk about it much but my life is still so messed up and- I would never want to get you mixed up in all that. It wouldn't be fair to you. And with school and work and everything, I'm just focused on getting through school, I'm not even thinking about anything else." Maggie tried hard to keep her emotions under control, because she wasn't used to talking about these things so openly but she wanted Alex to understand. "Our friendship means too much to me to risk it."

The truth was, Maggie's emotional baggage was still so fresh and she needed time to sort that out. And she knew that Alex deserved more than that. She deserved someone else.

And she was certain that this crush or whatever it was would fade, and then what? They would have ruined something special. And Maggie didn't want to go through that again. The wounds of losing her family were still so fresh, Maggie had to heal those first. And there was only a year left until graduation- Maggie couldn't take her eyes off her goal.

Alex listened quietly all the while, and Maggie could only hope that Alex trusted her enough to believe her.

Alex had been so caught up in her own newfound feelings that she hadn't even stopped to consider Maggie's side in this- she had just assumed her feelings and situation. It was clear that things weren't as easy as Maggie was letting on.

Alex felt foolish about the way she had behaved and she didn't know what to say. But she was too embarrassed to explain that to Maggie just yet. She just nodded and Maggie knew that Alex wasn't going to say anything right now so she said a gentle goodbye. At least Alex knew her reasons, even if she was still upset with her. She hoped it was enough to keep her friendship.

"Okay, so I'll go…I hope you feel better," Maggie said softly and it was so sincere that it made Alex's heart ache. Maggie was being so soft with her and she was offering her comfort despite how little Alex was giving her in return.

When Maggie left, Alex went back to being curled up on the bed.

Alex stayed in her room the entire evening and she thought about what Maggie had told her. It was clear to her how much Maggie cared about their friendship. And she did too. The only reason she had hesitated in telling Maggie was because she didn't want to do anything to hurt their friendship. She hadn't considered the possibility of things ending up like this but now that they had, she knew that she had to work through things so that she didn't lose her friend.

The next morning she called Maggie to ask if she was free to meet to talk. Maggie said she was and she came over to Alex's house later that afternoon.

They went up to sit in Alex's room again like yesterday.

Maggie could see how nervous Alex looked, as if she was finding it difficult to find the right words to start what she wanted to say.

"How are you?" Maggie asked softly.

"Good," Alex said and then looked down. "I'm better." She was silent for a moment before she spoke again. "Maggie, I-I overreacted yesterday. I just thought that-" She shook her head, changing the sentence. "I shouldn't have assumed, I'm-"

But Maggie shook her head, refusing to let Alex apologise. "You didn't do anything wrong." She couldn't let Alex think that she had assumed things entirely wrong because she hadn't. It's just that things were more complicated that that and Alex didn't know the full extent of it. "You didn't know any of that stuff."

And Alex's heart softened for Maggie. Maggie was so good at calming her down and making her feel not so foolish. She was focusing entirely on Alex even though this situation must have been awful for her too.

"How are you?" Alex asked.

And Maggie's furrowed eyebrows softened, and she gave Alex a small, soft smile. "I'm okay." Maggie looked at Alex a moment. She hadn't really stopped to think about the fact that this meant that Alex liked girls. She knew how difficult that could be to process and she wanted to be there for Alex. She wanted Alex to be able to talk about it with her if she wanted to, despite how awkward it might be.

Maggie smiled a little brighter. "Seriously, though- you. When did you- I mean-," Maggie tried to ask as gently as possible. "So… you like girls?"

Alex flustered a little at the question because she hadn't truly ever liked anyone except Maggie. But ever since realising her feelings for Maggie, now that she looked back on it she realised she had had crushes on girls before without realising it. But this thing with Maggie was far stronger than any crush she had ever had before.

She let out a nervous breath and nodded a little. "Yeah."

Maggie just nodded, tentatively broaching the subject. "Have you told anyone?"

Alex nodded softly. "Kara knows, and so does my mom." Alex let out a little laugh. "She guessed actually, I don't know how." She didn't tell Maggie what her mom had said about her knowing because Alex talked about Maggie so much.

Maggie smiled a little. "She's your mom," she said, as if that was explanation enough. Her smile turned a little sad as she thought about her own mom. Maggie had never explicitly hidden anything or pretended to be into boys but Maggie supposed that when someone tried to ignore something hard enough then they could completely overlook the truth that was right in front of them. She was so relieved that that wasn't the case for Alex.

"How did they react?"

"They were really great about it, my mom told me she loves me no matter what."

Maggie felt a little ache in her heart but she smiled, she would hate for Alex to go through what she had.

Alex looked up at Maggie and she immediately realised her insensitivity. "Maggie, I'm sorry. I didn't think, I-"

But Maggie shook her head with a small smile, trying to keep things light. "Hey, why are you apologising?" She looked Alex in the eye, earnest. "You don't have to hide these things from me." That's one of the reasons why she kept things to herself, because she didn't want people tip-toeing around her or dimming their own happiness to protect her feelings. "I'm so happy for you," she said sincerely.

Alex felt her emotions start to well up again at Maggie's words and she just leaned forward to take her into a hug. It was awkward but Alex fought past it because she really just wanted to show Maggie how much she appreciated her. She knew they both needed the comfort. "Thank you," she whispered and Maggie just nodded against her shoulder.

Maggie felt her own emotions coming up too. She wasn't used to being so open and she hadn't expected this conversation to leave her feeling so raw. She knew she had to leave before she started feeling it even more.

She leaned back from the hug with a smile. "Anytime," she said. "I'm… here whenever you need to talk."

Alex wiped at the single tear that had fallen down her cheek. She looked up at Maggie, sincere. She knew it was difficult for Maggie to open up like this but she wanted Maggie to know that she could- that she had someone to talk to about her problems too. "And me- for you."

Maggie nodded and left with a soft goodbye.

It was clear that things were still awkward between them but Alex was glad that they had had this conversation.

She hoped it was enough to get their friendship back to how it was.

xxxx

This was intended to be one long one-shot but finishing it up was taking me longer than I thought it would and I really wanted to get something out so I thought I would split it up into two. I chose to end this chapter here because (even though its 10k) it could kinda be considered an intro to the rest of the fic-which is around double the length of this chapter. Ive got a little bit left to write and im hoping it doesn't take too long. The rest of the fic deals with them throughout their senior year- and don't worry, its not just angsty, theres a lot of softness to come:)

I would love to hear your thoughts on the story so far:) 3