A/N: trying desperately to clean out some of my old ff, so please accept this bizarre and harry-potter-infused miyusawa fic. two other things: 1) i almost called this SAWAMURA EIJUN, SUPER NERD! and 2) I STAND BY MY HOUSE SORTINGS, FIGHT ME!

Eijun was mid-way through his chapter ("Ron was hit with a spell he couldn't stop, and Harry was both horrified and intrigued to see that Ron was suddenly naked in the middle of the Great Hall") when the bedroom door flung open. Eijun might not've looked up, but it smacked against the wall with such force that even naked Ronald Weasley couldn't keep his full attention.

Towering in the doorway was Kuramochi, his grin so wide it nearly ran off his face. A gust of warm air came with him as he sprang into the room, flickering the pages of Eijun's baseball magazine, and Eijun hastily tossed it under his pillow.

(Hidden behind the magazine was Eijun's phone, and on it naked Ronald Weasley, and Eijun was not explaining Harry Potter fanfiction to his roommates, no sir no way.)

"I HAVE A DATE ON FRIDAY NIGHT!" Kuramochi bellowed, springing into the room. "A DATE!"

Masuko raised his head from the small mountain of homework on his desk. He'd been there at least as long as Eijun had been reading. (Three hours? Four? Had Eijun missed dinner again in the pursuit of Weasley smut? Who knew.)

"A date?" he echoed, looking stunned.

"YES!" Kuramochi crowed. "With a girl! A real girl!"

Eijun's heart began to thump wildly in his chest, but it was not because of Kuramochi's date.

"She has BOOBS! Real boobs!"

Eijun made a sound that might've passed for excitement or wonder or confusion at Kuramochi's sudden good fortune. "Did you hear me, Sawamura?" Kuramochi said, whirling to face him."I said BOOBS!"

"I-I heard!" Eijun yelped. Springing to his feet, he whipped his finger at Masuko. "And won't you be out this Friday, too, senpai?!"

"Study session," Masuko grunted. He'd already turned back to his homework after flashing Kuramochi a congratulatory peace sign, looking suitably impressed as Kuramochi beamed at him. "Yuki's house. Also, don't point at people. It's rude."

Could it finally be that… Eijun would have the room to himself for a night?!

"Why the hell do you look so excited, Sawamura?" Kuramochi demanded. He leapt towards Eijun, eyes narrowing. "Those boobs are all mine!"

Eijun didn't even mind being tackled to the floor, not this time. Because Friday night…

Friday night was now Harry Potter night, and Eijun was finally going to let his Hufflepuff freak flag fly.

Miyuki sidled up to him that Friday after practice, eyes dancing behind his glasses. Eijun, who'd been forced to run without stopping for the past hour, collapsed onto the ground in front of him. He couldn't even muster the energy to roll over and look up at the sky, and so instead had to look at the mud crusted on Miyuki's cleats.

Ugh.

Miyuki crouched beside him. "Had enough?" he snickered.

"Unggggffffhhh," Eijun moaned, curling into a ball of acute misery.

Miyuki poked him cheerfully in the side. "If you'd stop annoying Coach, you wouldn't have run so much."

"I didn't do anything!" Eijun sobbed.

(Okay, so Boss'd said Eijun was being a "distraction to the other players" when he wouldn't stop whistling Hedwig's Theme, but that wasn't Eijun's fault! It was a great song!)

Miyuki snorted. "So, Youichi told me that he's got a date tonight…"

Eijun's eyes snapped open. "Y-yes! I'll have the dorm all to myself!"

Miyuki reached up a hand to tug on his hat. "Since you'll be alone, I was wondering…"

Eijun couldn't curb the wide grin that took over his face. Finally! It'll be just me and—

Miyuki's mouth curled into an unfathomable smile in response.

—Hogwarts, Hogwarts, hoggy hoggy Hogwarts!

Miyuki shifted back away from Eijun suddenly, eyebrows drawing low. "…So?"

"Uhhh," said Eijun. He realized Miyuki'd still been speaking. "Sorry, what?"

Miyuki's mouth tightened. "I was wondering if you'd want to—"

"I already have plans tonight!" Eijun chirped. He sprang to his feet, abruptly filled with a surge of energy at the thought of tonight's plans, and grabbed his tire. "But you can catch for me tomorrow instead, okay Miyuki?"

"Oiy! Sawamura, get back here!" Miyuki hollered after him as he raced off. "I wasn't talking about catching, you idiot!"

But Eijun wasn't listening.

He had to finish his run - Harry Potter awaited!

He tried not to act too excited for the rest of the evening, but by the time Kuramochi was prepping for his date, Eijun couldn't repress his it any further. Kuramochi had finally finished dressing after an hour of agonizing about what shirt to wear, and was now staring at the box of condoms he had in his desk drawer.

Eijun was convinced he was doing it just to keep Eijun in agony for as long as possible.

Just leave already!

"Should I bring one of these?" Kuramochi muttered. "Do I dare..?"

It was too much. Storming forward, Eijun shoved the condoms in Kuramochi's hands, grabbed him by the shoulders, and propelled him towards the door. "Safe sex is important! Please leave immediately and enjoy your sexual intercourse tonight!"

Kuramochi went purple with rage. "What the hell, Sawamura!" he snarled, twisting to grab him in a headlock.

But his anger was no match for Eijun's Harry Potter-fueled determination. Eijun slipped away easily, then promptly kicked Kuramochi out the door.

Kominato was waiting just outside, his hand raised as though he'd been ready to knock. He side-stepped neatly as Kuramochi tumbled out, raising his eyebrows at the box of condoms in Kuramochi's hands.

"Awfully eager, aren't we…?"

Was it a double-date? Would Kuramochi really be having sex? Normally, Eijun'd might've cared, but tonight he had more pressing matters to attend to. "Yes, Kuramochi's very eager, so please take care of him and makes sure he doesn't come home until late, Kominato-senpai! Thanks!"

Kominato smirked widely. "Shall I pass that along to his date, Sawamura?"

"It's not what you think, Kominato!" Kuramochi yelped. He lunged back towards the door. "Sawamura, just what the hell are you—?!"

Eijun did not wait to hear the rest of his sentence. He slammed the door shut in both of their startled faces, then fell against it, grinning gleefully, as Kuramochi pounded it with his fist.

"I'm going to beat the shit out of you when I get back, Sawamura!"

"Have a good date, senpais! See you later!"

"Oiy! TAKE THESE FUCKING CONDOMS BACK! I'm serious, Sawamura! These were expensive!"

Eventually the thumping stopped, and Eijun heard Kuramochi swearing loudly as he and Kominato walked away. When Eijun peeked his head out the door a few moments later, they were gone, and so was the box of condoms.

On any other night, he might've laughed, or at least texted someone, maybe Miyuki, to tell him that Kuramochi'd taken a box of condoms with him on his date.

But tonight…

Tonight! It was finally tonight!

It was time, it was finally time!

Eijun leapt across the room. He pulled out a cardboard box he'd hidden underneath his bed (cleverly labeled "Eijun's old underwear! :D" to keep Kuramochi from snooping), then wiggled back out.

This was Eijun's collection. His pride, his joy, his… Everything. Tears nearly rose to Eijun's eyes. He pulled back the lid, fingers shaking.

His Hogwarts robe was, of course, the first thing to come out. The fabric was a little tight across his newly-muscled shoulders, but it was still his favorite garment in the whole world. He'd even personally sewn a secret pair of pockets on the inside…

And in one was a leftover Chocolate Frog from the last convention he'd been to! Eijun scarfed it down and pumped his arms in the air. Victory!

The Hufflepuff scarf that Wakana had knit for him came out next. It was soft and worn from too much wear, some of the yellow yarn had fraying at the edges. Eijun wrapped it reverently around his neck.

Next were his Harry Potter glasses, and his custom-made wand, made out of real yew tree… His Hogwarts banner… His copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them…

And, of course, the whole collection of movies, special edition.

"YOSHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Scared, Potter?" Draco Malfoy hissed to Eijun. He held his wand pointed straight at Eijun's chest.

Eijun raised his own wand in response. "You wish!"

Malfoy was a tricky bastard, but Eijun had never lost a wizard's duel. He gripped his wand tightly — he moved forward- but Malfoy was too quick, and he cast a spell that hit Eijun right in the chest! "Ooof!"

"I said disarm only!" Professor Lockhart called, sounding alarmed.

"Cheater!" Eijun shouted. "You can't win in a fair fight!"

On Kuramochi's television screen, Draco Malfoy cast Serpensortia, and Harry Potter stepped forward fearlessly. In the bedroom, the pillow that Eijun had drawn blonde hair and an evil smirk on fell to the ground as Eijun tackled it.

"PETRIFICUS TOTALUS! YOU'RE GOING DOWN, MALFOY!"

He wrestled the pillow for a few moments, then turned back to the movie to catch his favorite part. He switched the pillow around (he wasn't going to cuddle Malfoy's face, after all) and hugged it to his chest as he watched. "Bloody hell, Harry!" he whispered with Ron. "I didn't know you could talk to snakes!"

Eijun's Harry Potter marathon night was going… magically. He'd skipped right to The Chamber of Secrets (his favorite movie, as he thought Ron was especially cute in it), his laptop pulled in front of him so he could do double duty and catch up on fanfic at the same time, and he'd even set up his Hogwarts banner…

So it was, basically, the best Friday night ever.

Squirming happily, he turned back to his fanfic (there were so many new fics out that he had feverishly started five of them at once), before becoming distracted by some very detailed fanart…

He was so involved with his laptop that at first he didn't hear the knock at the door. Then came a shout, and a very loud thud that was impossible to ignore.

"OIY! SAWAMURA!"

Eijun froze. The door shook in its frame as the pounding continued.

Eijun's fingers felt like dumbbells on his keyboard, far too heavy to move. He stared wide-wide eyed at the door.

It couldn't be.

"I know you're in there! I could hear you shouting all the way from my room! Open the door!"

It was.

A cold shiver of dread worked its way up Eijun's spine.

Oh, God.

Not Miyuki.

Anyone but Miyuki!

Eijun's fingers spasmed, and in the next moment he found himself clutching the Malfoy pillow fearfully.

There was another thud on the door…

In the movie, the basilisk slid through Hogwarts and petrified one of the students…

After a long, terrifying moment, Eijun recalled that Cedric Diggory, Eijun's favorite Hufflepuff, had not been afraid, even during the TriWizard Tournament when he'd been facing all types of foes. Grimly, he opened his mouth and shouted, "GO AWAY, MIYUKI KAZUYA!"

There was a pause. Miyuki grumbled something, then fell silent.

But he had not left. Oh, no. Eijun knew Miyuki Kazuya didn't give up that easily. Clutching his Malfoy pillow to his chest even more tightly, he grabbed his wand in his other hand and pointed it at the door.

"Silencio!"

"What the hell did you say? What are you doing in there, anyways?" Miyuki sounded annoyed. Eijun cursed himself for being a useless Muggle, then realized that Ginny Weasley was shrieking loudly on the screen and scrambled to pause the movie.

Miyuki had fallen very quiet. Eijun held his breath and prayed to Cedric Diggory that Miyuki had not heard anything. Then Miyuki called out, sing-song, "Do you have someone over? Ahh, wait 'til I tell Youichi what you're up to in his room~!"

Oh, God. What Miyuki thought was bad — but was Eijun was doing, he was certain, was far worse.

He could not, under any circumstances, let Miyuki find out the truth. "Y-YES! I have someone over! So go away!"

There was a long pause. Eijun squinted cautiously at the door. Had it worked?

"If you don't open this door," said Miyuki, his voice dark. "I'll never catch for you again."

Eijun dropped his wand.

Well.

Shit.

He scrambled to the door, nearly tripping on the hem of his robes, then hastily tugged his scarf off and threw it towards the bed. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the Malfoy pillow had landed Malfoy-side up. Figured. Malfoy really was always causing trouble.

Eijun unlocked the door, opened it a crack, and peeked out, careful to make sure Miyuki could not see in. "H-Hey! Don't just threaten things like that, Miyuki Kazuya! What do you want?!"

Miyuki's eyes gleamed dangerously behind his glasses. "I'm bored. Let me in."

"No! Leave me alone!"

Miyuki's smile sharpened. "Why not? I want to meet your friend." He braced his hand against the door to push it open. Eijun quickly threw himself against it. "We can all bond over what an idiot you are."

Eijun cursed himself for his lies, then cursed Miyuki for being such a nosy bastard. "Stupid Miyuki! I don't want to bond with you!"

Now Miyuki definitely looked pissed.

"W-wait—!" Eijun yelped. He was blushing horrifically and he didn't know why.

"Why the hell are you wearing those ridiculous glasses?" Miyuki demanded. "And who's in there with you? Is it your friend from middle school? Ahh, what's her name—"

Eijun's quickly tore the glasses off."I — I need these to read! And it's— it's really no-one!"

Miyuki's eyes widened, then narrowed. Crossing his arms across his chest, he leaned in towards Eijun.

Eijun took in the soft frown of his mouth and swallowed.

"Just what are you hiding in there, Sa~wa~mura?"

"NOTHING!"

"I don't believe you, idiot Sawamura!"

A ferocious struggle ensued. Miyuki shoved his whole body against the door, nearly knocking Eijun to the ground, and Eijun tried desperately to slam it closed again.

"Just GO AWAY!"

"Listen to your senpai for once!"

"GO AWAY!"

Miyuki stepped away from the door, holding his hands up in a placating manner. "Fine, Sawamura. You win." Eijun's chest heaved, and he sagged in relief. "Just try to keep it down, would you?"

Eijun huffed at him. He was treading on the hem of his robe, and the knot of his striped yellow tie felt limp around his neck. It had taken Eijun at least ten minutes to get it right, and he scowled at Miyuki for screwing it up. He reached up to fix it, his hands leaving the door, and—

Miyuki barreled forwards, the door flew open, and Eijun went sprawling. Miyuki stepped forward, smiling smugly.

"Miyuki!" Eijun yelped.

"See," Miyuki drawled, shaking his head. "That wasn't so difficult-"

Eijun tried to scramble up and stop him, but instead tripped on the hem of his robes and landed with an oomph! on his back. "DON'T COME IN!"

Eijun could only stare in horror as Miyuki's eyes swept from the Hogwarts banner to Eijun's laptop, which had — oh, God! — NSFW fanart pulled up, then to the robes Eijun was wearing, and finally to the Chamber of Secrets, which was paused in the background.

Miyuki blinked once, then twice.

There was a long moment of silence. Eijun stared at him, mouth agape.

Then Miyuki's eyes fell on the Malfoy pillow. He looked at the pillow, and then at Eijun. His eyes found the lightning bolt that Eijun had scribbled on his forehead, and the terrible smirk Eijun'd drawn on the pillow with permanent marker. His mouth began to tremble.

"Miyuki," Eijun said weakly. But he had no excuse. There was no excuse.

"GA-HA-HA!" Miyuki shrieked. "GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!"

Eijun slumped back on the ground. "Bloody hell," he muttered. This is it, he thought to himself gloomily. This is how I die. Humiliated at Miyuki's feet.

Miyuki was laughing so hard he had started to gasp and was clutching Eijun's bed post for support.

The thought that Cedric Diggory wouldn't give up so easily gave Eijun a small amount of courage, and after a very long moment, he sat back up. He found the glasses he'd thrown earlier and pushed them up onto his face, then turned to face Miyuki. "Shut up, bastard Miyuki!"

"I can't, I can't!" Miyuki gasped. He held the Malfoy pillow out in front of him, then laughed even harder, in great big breaths. It was the hardest Eijun had ever seen him laugh in all the months they'd known each other. "GYAHAHAHAHA!"

Infuriated, Eijun rose and sharply yanked the pillow out of his hands. "Stop laughing at me!"

"I-I thought you had a girl over—"

A fresh level of humiliation swept over Eijun. He kicked the door shut furiously and re-locked it. Miyuki would not leave this room alive, Eijun swore it on Helga Hufflepuff's grave!

"What is this stick, oh my God, what kind of role play is this—"

Eijun whirled. Miyuki now dangled Eijun's wand like it was toy.

"It's not a stick," Eijun snapped. "It's a wand made of real yew!"

That didn't seem to help matters. Further moments of humiliation passed, until Eijun turned so red he could feel his cheeks burning, and he hurled himself at Miyuki, crashing them both onto the bed.

"BASTARD MIYUKI!"

"Oiy~!"

"STOP LAUGHING AT ME!" They wrestled for a moment that was far too brief, given the fury that had overcome Eijun, before Miyuki rolled them over, his hands pressing so roughly into Eijun's shoulders that Eijun winced. Miyuki immediately released the pressure a little bit, and Eijun slumped in defeat. He still held Eijun's wand in one hand.

"Be careful with that," Eijun mumbled. "It's one-of-a-kind."

Miyuki started to snicker again, his eyes crinkling with mirth. "I'll bet it is."

Eijun snatched his Malfoy pillow and whacked Miyuki in the face with it, and then they were wrestling again. Eijun shouted and Miyuki snickered and Eijun told himself that he was definitely not, no way, absolutely not, shrieking with laughter a little bit by the time they were done, and Miyuki settled over him again, his strong thighs pinning Eijun's arms down.

"You know something, Sawamura," said Miyuki, once he'd finally caught his breath and wiped the tears from his eyes, "You always manage to surprise me."

He said it like it was a good thing, but Eijun didn't see how it could be, when Miyuki was laughing at him, not with him. His thighs remained flexed around Eijun's arms, though he let Eijun wiggle a little to grab his Malfoy pillow and hold it. Eijun squeezed it firmly by the throat and pretended it was Miyuki. "Fuck off."

Miyuki eyed him for a minute. "Ahh, Sawamura," he sighed. The laughter slipped out of his tone. "That's a compliment, you know. I really like that about you."

"Don't try to distract me, assholde," Eijun grumbled.

Miyuki looked around the room again. He smile became a little more genuine, a little less mocking. The change left Eijun instantly suspicious, and he shoved up until Miyuki relented and slid off the bed.

Eijun, rather embarrassingly, found himself a little breathless with the way their skin slid together when he did. He rolled up so quickly he nearly smacked his head on the top bunk. "Cedric Diggory would NOT approve!" he shouted.

Miyuki stared at him.

"It's nothing," Eijun mumbled. "It's a motivational thing." His face felt furiously red. He wished that he could Apparate, or memory charm Miyuki, or possibly just hide under an Invisibility Cloak for this rest of his life.

Miyuki said nothing, then reached over and gently picked up Eijun's scarf, which had been dangling limply off the side of the bed. "So, you're really into Harry Potter, I guess…"

Eijun scowled at him, then nodded curtly.

"Which colors are these? Ahh — is this the one with the hedgehog?"

"It's a badger," said Eijun, deeply offended. "That's my House."

"Your House…?" Eijun watched Miyuki's face guardedly, searching for any signs of mocking. "I was Sorted into Hufflepuff by the Sorting Hat's online quiz."

Miyuki's lips trembled, but he didn't laugh again. After a pause, he coughed and said, "Aren't there other Houses, too?"

"Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin," said Eijun, reluctant to feed Miyuki any more ammunition, but also wanting to show off his knowledge. "You'd definitely be in Slytherin," he added.

"Oh? They must be the best!"

"No, stupid Miyuki! They suck!"

Miyuki reached out and looped the Hufflepuff scarf around Eijun's neck, then tugged him forward until Eijun was seated at the very edge of the bed. Their knees bumped together. Miyuki's gaze was playful, and it made Eijun flush. He was suspicious and embarrassed and vaguely excited all at once: the same feelings he always felt around Miyuki, but stronger somehow, when they were so close to each other.

"Why don't you tell me about it, eh Sawamura? I don't know the story."

Eijun's mouth dropped open. "You don't know Harry Potter?!"

Miyuki shrugged. "I think I might've seen the first movie…"

"WH-WHAT!"

Miyuki scratched his head and laughed. His hat had fallen off when he'd they'd been wrestling and his hair was messy. He glanced around the room and did not meet Eijun's gaze. "It's not so unusual, is it?"

"I don't know if we can be friends," said Eijun, frowning seriously at him. "I knew you had a nasty personality, but this is a new low."

"Oiy!" Miyuki pinched Eijun hard on the cheek. "You think that's funny?"

Eijun flung his Malfoy pillow at Miyuki's head in retaliation, but Miyuki ducked, coming in to stand even closer to Eijun, and it hit Eijun's Hogwarts banner instead. The pillow and the banner both tumbled, hitting Eijun's Harry Potter movie collection, but Miyuki did not look away from Eijun's face, even when the movies thumped to the floor, one by one.

Flustered — by his bad aim, and that was all! — Eijun added, "Besides, a Hufflepuff and a Slytherin? Sounds like a terrible combination!"

"Well," said Miyuki casually, "Why don't we watch your movies together, and we'll find out for sure?"

Eijun crossed his arms. He was absolutely certain that if he agreed, Miyuki would spend the rest of the night making fun of him. "There are eight of them," he snapped. "We couldn't possibly get through them in one night."

"Ahh," said Miyuki. He abruptly shifted backwards. Eijun's scarf fluttered to the floor. "My mistake."

Annoyed, Eijun scooped up his scarf, wrapping it gently around his neck, and looked up just in time to see Miyuki jamming his hat on his head as he headed towards the door. "Well, I guess I'll leave you to it."

The tiny downward curl of his mouth at the edges made Eijun heart go still.

"Try not to shout so loudly next time, Sawamura." Miyuki was already pasting a smile back on his face, but Miyuki... Miyuki was a Slytherin, of course he'd be faking it! "If you want your role-playing to be kept a secret, that is, ha-ha!"

He turned and began to unlock the door, but before he could, Eijun caught him by the arm, his grip firm. Miyuki fell still. He did not look at Eijun. Eijun was so close he could've counted the number of times Miyuki's chest rose and fell as he waited for Eijun to speak.

"We can't watch all eight," Eijun said slowly. "But — maybe we could watch the first one together?"

Miyuki was silent. They stood for a moment, Eijun's fingers curled tightly around Miyuki's sleeve. Eijun squeezed Miyuki's arm, and he felt Miyuki slowly relax, breath by breath.

"Are you going wear those glasses the whole time?" Miyuki drawled at last. He was turning, inch by inch, until they were facing each other again. Eijun knew that he should drop his hand from Miyuki's arm, but found that he didn't want to.

He wrinkled his nose. "Of course!"

The glasses threatened to slip off his nose — the frames had become become slightly bent during their wrestling — but Miyuki pressed his finger and caught them on the edge of Eijun's nose, right before they fell.

"Well," said Miyuki, sliding Eijun's glasses back up. Eijun's heart began to thunder in his ears. He leaned in closer, and shivered at the scrape of Miyuki's thumb across his cheek. Miyuki's fingers were warm, and maybe even a little hesitant.

Then Miyuki smirked and tweaked Eijun's nose. "How can I say no to that nerdy face?"

Eijun yanked his hand from Miyuki's arm so quickly that he nearly fell backwards with the force of it. "I've changed my mind!" Eijun shouted, as Miyuki threw back his head and cackled. "Begone, wretched Slytherin!"

The next evening there was a knock at the door.

"Answer it, Sawamura," growled Kuramochi, who still hadn't forgiven Eijun for throwing him out yesterday. On top of that, his date seemed to have gone badly, as he'd come home alone, with a full box of condoms, later that night, long after Miyuki had gone.

Eijun slunk to the door and opened it, cautiously skirting Kuramochi's position in front of the TV. There was no one there — but on the doorstep was a plain white box with Eijun's name on it. "Eh?!"

The box weighed practically nothing when he picked it up. He shook it a little, and felt the definite movement of many small items.

"Who is it?" asked Kuramochi, glancing up from his game. Then he caught sight of the box. He stared at Eijun, eyes wide, as Eijun stepped back in the room. In the next second he'd raced over and ripped the box from Eijun's hands. "What the hell is this?!"

"Don't open it! It has my name on it!"

"Who cares?" Kuramochi demanded, tugging the lid off the box.

Inside of it were a dozen cookies, decorated in the colors of Hufflepuff and Slytherin.

Eijun stared at the cookies.

Kuramochi stared at the cookies.

From across the room, Masuko stared at the cookies.

There was silence.

A note was folded on top of the cookies. It was unmarked, but clearly for Eijun. Eijun found that the longer he stared at it, the louder his heart beat in his chest, until it was so loud he couldn't even hear the other sounds in the room, not the muted sounds from Kuramochi's game nor the scrape of Masuko's pen against the desk as he set it down.

Hufflepuff. And Slytherin.

Hufflepuff!

And Slytherin!

Eijun needed, with sudden desperation, to know what the note said. He reached for it, but Kuramochi batted his hand away. A quiet awe had settled over him, and Eijun did not fight him when Kuramochi opened the note with trembling fingers. He read it, then passed it to Masuko, and Masuko read it, and then passed it to Eijun.

The note was very brief.

Accio Sawamura.

My room, 8 'o clock.

There was a pause that seemed to last for an eternity. Kuramochi appeared to be genuinely speechless. He held the box reverently, inspecting each cookie with wonder.

Eijun clutched the note in his hand and re-read it three times. It was possibly better than Harry Potter fanfiction, and he thought blissfully that he might keep it in his Harry Potter box, safe in the pages of The Sorcerer's Stone, where it could be preserved forever. That seemed like a very fitting place for it.

Kuramochi carefully set the box down Masuko's desk. Masuko eyed the cookies with interest, then popped one into his mouth.

"Delicious," he confirmed after a moment. "Really delicious."

His words broke the delicate spell that had been cast over them. Eijun found, as though Masuko's voice had given him permission, that he was smiling widely. He reached for a cookie, and—

Something hit him hard in the back, knocking him straight to the ground. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Kuramochi screamed, slamming his knee into Eijun's chest. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, SAWAMURA? IS THIS SOME PERVERTED HARRY POTTER SHIT?"

"No!" Eijun yelped. He tried to block Kuramochi's fists, but Kuramochi's outrage made him even faster than normal. Kuramochi shoved his face into the floor and held him in a headlock. Eijun's body arched up painfully. "I swear, Kuramochi-senpai! AIEEEEE!"

"DON'T YOU FUCKING LIE TO ME! DID YOU HAVE A GIRL OVER WHILE WE WERE GONE?!"

"NO!" Eijun said, trying desperately to free himself. "Not one girl, I swear—SENPAI!"

"NOT JUST ONE? YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! HOW MANY WERE THERE?"

Something in Eijun's back cracked. "Masuko-chan," he croaked. "Help."

"I don't think he can breathe," said Masuko, who was on his third cookie and peering at Eijun unsympathetically. "It's only polite to invite us if you're going to have a party, Sawamura…"

"IT WASN'T LIKE THAT!" Eijun shouted. Kuramochi smacked him in the face with an open palm. "SENPAI! HELP ME!"

"No," said Masuko, calmly turning back to his homework and leaving Eijun at Kuramochi's mercy. "Kuramochi, remember he has to pitch tomorrow's game."

Kuramochi did not seem to care about when or where Eijun had to pitch next.

"I'll find out who sent you these cookies," Kuramochi hissed into his ear, digging his knee into Eijun's spine. "And then I'll kill you!"

There was absolutely no convincing Kuramochi that Eijun hadn't had some sort of Harry Potter orgy in his absence. By the time Kuramochi released him, at least twenty minutes later, nearly all of the cookies had been eaten and the entire baseball team thought Eijun was a huge pervert because Masuko'd sent out a group text to the entire first-string.

Mournfully, Eijun wondered how his wonderful Harry Potter night had been polluted like this. All he'd wanted was to get his Hufflepuff on in peace! This was all Miyuki's fault! He'd probably planted those cookies knowing that Kuramochi would find them!

Eijun hobbled to his bed and checked his phone. There were a few different messages (Did you really have a party last night? Harucchi wanted to know. Tell ur gf thnx for the cookies ^_^ said Masuko, which Eijun certainly would not), but Eijun ignored them and hastily sent a message to Miyuki.

It was just past seven, and it would take Eijun at least ten minutes to escape Kuramochi's stalking, but…

If there were a chance those cookies hadn't been a joke after all…

U rly wanna watch the next one?

Well, someone had to make sure Miyuki knew the story of Harry Potter, after all.

His phone buzzed a few seconds later. Can't wait to explore the chamber of secrets ;)

Eijun flushed from head to toe. He tucked his phone away and snuck towards Masuko to steal a Hufflepuff cookie. Kuramochi growled at him, still sulking, but Masuko indicated that he should take one, and when Eijun bit into it, it was sweet and light and buttery.

It was, probably, the best cookie Eijun had ever had, and not just because it was in his House colors.

His phone buzzed again.

oh and bring ur one-of-a-kind wand

Eijun had to bury his face into his pillow to make sure Kuramochi didn't see him grinning.

He supposed Miyuki wasn't so bad after all.

For a Slytherin.