The persistent allegations that Uchiha Madara would fall for a diminutive Senju heiress, with an annoyingly persistent moral compass and an inability to keep herself out of trouble, were as ridiculous as they were true. fem!Naruto x Madara. Madrigal in training had this as a time travel fic, I'm going to go in s different direction with it.

Xxxxxx

Chapter 1

xxxxxx

As with many of Madara's troubles, both real and imagined, this woe could be traced directly to the actions of one Hashirama Senju.

Specifically, it could be directed to that early morning spar in late summer, when Hashirama chose to broach the topic of his family. Since they had made a mutual, if unspoken, pact to not discuss their clans during these rendezvous, Madara was understandably surprised when he started speaking. Although, Hashirama at least had the common sense to avoid using names.

"I'm worried about my baby sister," the brunette began, ignoring Madara's wide-eyed glance, to frown down at the rippling water. They were relaxing by the riverbend, skipping stones, floating leaves, and casually debating the merits of disemboweling a man vs. slitting his throat.

There was a pause, where Madara realized that he was expected to reply. "Err… why?"

"She's showing signs of becoming a great beauty," Hashirama sighed, as though this was a great hardship to be borne, and not, Madara rather thought, as something women- useless creatures that they were- took pride in.

"My father will probably seek to secure a match for her soon," Hashirama continued, his voice laced with the kind of unfathomable sadness that only he, fortunately, was capable of commanding. It was irritating enough on him, and Madara shuddered to think about how awful it would be if others could utilize its power. "She may have to leave the Compound soon, and I know she's worried about being forced to a man she could never love and having to never see us again."

Madara shrugged. "It happens," he said, nonchalant.

Hashirama turned and glared at him with light hazel eyes. "It shouldn't," he snapped, "She doesn't want to be bartered like some sort of prized cattle. She wants to be a shinobi!"

Madara stared at him. "Women can't be shinobi," the Uchiha pointed out, in what he believed to be a perfectly reasonable manner, "They're weak. It just isn't done."

"That's wrong!" Hashirama declared, passionately, and Madara sighed, because his friend would soon descend into one of his impossible sermons on how the world should be, and could be, but never would be. "Women should be trained in the shinobi arts if they show a desire for and aptitude in the subject. My sister is a shinobi prodigy, but no one would train her because she was born a female!"

Madara cocked an eyebrow. "Then how do you know if she's a shinobi prodigy?"

"Oh, ha ha," Hashirama suddenly realized what he'd said, and laughed weakly. He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, and studiously avoided Madara's keen gaze. "I- ah, may have taught her?"

"You taught this woman shinobi skills?" Madara asked, in acute disbelief.

Hashirama's sheepishness faded, to reveal hints of defiance. "The Uzumaki teach their clanswomen fuuinjutsu."

"The Uzumaki are not right in the head," Madara replied swiftly, "And those measures are taught as passive skills, for defense and for binding. You have taught her to fight, haven't you?"

Madara pressed on. "You could be executed for that. It's a crime on par with teaching some outsider clan skills!"

Hashirama looked away, and a note of frustration crept into his voice. "She's only ten, and you should see how some of the men look at her." Anger glinted in those normally understanding eyes. "My brothers and I can't look after her all the time. She needs to be able to protect herself."

Madara snorted. "I doubt any child could be that pretty. You are mistaken."

A small smile appeared on Hashirama's face. "I doubt that," he replied, his bipolar personality switching to happiness, "One day, I will have to introduce you to her, and you'll see that her beauty has been blessed by Kami herself. And as for punishment… well, I am already speaking to you, am I not? What is one more crime on top of that?"

And with those lighthearted words, Hashirama bound to his feet and jumped on top of the lake. The chakra sliding below him kept him above the water, but the challenging grin he sent to his dark-haired friend did not keep him up there for long. As Madara did his level best to wrestle his friend into the water, he forgot about the brief mention of the beautiful girl-child who was taught to be a shinobi.

xxxxxxx

Madara was abruptly reminded of their conversation, when he arrived at the edge of their river bank and heard laughter from behind the fronds. Fingering a kunai in his hand, the dark-haired boy silently crept through, and abruptly stopped, bemused by the sight before him.

The sound Madara had heard was loud, deep, and mirthful, but the laughter was falling forth from a delicate slip of a girl, as she drunkenly stumbled over the water. Hashirama stood before her, that damnably cheerful smile on his face, as he steadied her body with gentle hands and soft words. His somewhat friend looked perfectly at ease, teaching the second principle of chakra tension to a sister that would have him hanged if her husband ever learned of it.

Unless that was her intention. Yes, Madara could see her motives clearly now. She used her diminutive size and abnormally bright, owlish eyes to lull his sparring partner into a sense of complacency. Then, when she had ensnared her brother's trust, she pressed him to commit treason, gathering evidence for the day when she could have him disposed from the clan leadership. That would create a vacuum for the girl to navigate her own candidate into power- likely another brother, or a husband- where she would lead the clan from the shadows. Then, through her own lack of leadership and general female ineptitude, she would lead the clan to ruins, preventing her poor brother's spirit from ever finding peace in the afterlife due to enabling the manipulative shrew's plans.

Yes, Madara Uchiha had uncovered the girl's schemes. Hashirama was so fortunate to have someone like him around, to keep the boy from falling victim to his own naivete.

Secure in his own good judgement and generosity of spirit, Madara stormed forward to save his friend.

"Woman!" The Uchiha shouted, gratified that his angered tone had startled her into losing her footing. Unfortunately, Hashirama managed to catch her before she could fall into the water. "Unhand him at once!"

The girl looked at him strangely, and then pointedly swept her gaze down, to where Hashirama's arms were wrapped around her. The Uchiha corrected himself. "Remove yourself from his arms!"

Madara bristled. "What did you say?"

Eerily bright blue eyes- glittering like poison- blinked innocently at him. "I'm sorry, stranger-san. I didn't want to draw out your insecurity."

"Aiko-chan, don't tease him," Hashirama chided, drawing from a deep emotional well of trauma and sorrow that Madara was reasonably sure he didn't possess. The girl rolled her eyes.

"My name is Naruto," she scowled, with the ire of one who had instigated this argument many times and had resigned herself to the result. "Naruto."

Madara felt confused. She wanted her name to mean 'fishcake'?

"Why don't you like your given name, imouto? Aiko has such a pretty sound," the brunette implored.

"It sounds girlish and weak," Naruto complained. Internally, the Uchiha agreed with that. As the two siblings began to bicker over the girl's name, Madara observed his adversary.

As Madara suspected, Hashirama had indeed exaggerated her beauty. The girl was in possession of striking eyes, of course, and golden hair. There was even something pleasing about the set of her features, and a lively, friendly air about her person, but Madara remained cautious. Her countenance was willful and obstinate, her eyes glittered like liquid poison, and her arms were littered with shallow cuts. She would make some man a miserable husband.

"This argument is unnecessary," Madara cut in, once the other boy's eyes began to dew, "I am aware of your schemes, shrew."

Naruto turned her attention to him and arched an eyebrow. "My schemes?"

"You intend to have Hashirama hanged for treason, to sweep your eventual husband into power," Madara smirked, "Your plot has been foiled. I'm well aware of manipulative chits like you, who use their womanly charms to trick good men into acting against their better judgements. It's despicable to me that you would employ those arts against your own brother."

The girl stared at him, awed and horrified by his accurate reasoning no doubt, before she threw her head back and… laughed?

"Ka-mi, you can't possibly," she wheezed, between loud, brash, and unfeminine peals of mirth, "No! You do, you actually- you believe- me!" She bent forward, clutching her stomach, as she was lost in gales of laughter again. Despite keeping a calm exterior, Madara felt slightly discomforted by that reaction.

"Madara, I believe that you misunderstood," his friend interjected, awkwardly, "My sister did not employ any 'womanly charms'-"

"Don't have any," the girl broke in, grinning. Hashirama ignored her.

"She has no intention of disposing me, and she is not currently engaged to anyone. Nor are there any plans to engage her any time soon," the older brother continued. "My cute imouto would never do that to her favorite nii-san!"

Beside him, the girl nodded in agreement. "I just want to get stronger," she said, earnestly, "Nii-san has been kind enough to teach me a few skills. I wouldn't betray him by telling anyone!"

The gratitude in her voice, and the genuine affection in her eyes, convinced Madara of her honesty in a manner that words were insufficient for. Rather than reassure him, they merely raised his ire.

"If not for some plot, then why do you mean to acquire shinobi skills?" Madara questioned sharply. "Do you intend to go into battle?"

At her proud nod, the dark-haired boy tossed his head back and laughed. His laughter, unlike hers, substituted malice for mirth, and caused Hashirama to wince.

"You're far too weak for the blood and gore of battle, girl," the boy sneered. "You would be killed."

"You have no idea what I'm capable of!" Naruto snarled, "I can fight just as well as any man, and better than most. I'm not going to stay behind, when my brothers run headfirst into danger!"

"Nevertheless, you must leave," Madara insisted crisply, considering the matter resolved, "Women should not be outside the safety of their compound's walls." He ignored the way Naruto's blue eyes narrowed, or Hashirama began rapidly shaking his head in warning. "Your undertaking of shinobi training was foolish. A woman's place is in the kitchen, not the battlefield."

He never even saw the punch coming.

xxxxxxx

"Aniki, where did you get that bruise?" Izuna asked, worriedly. The younger boy unveiled a container of pale green paste and made to dab at the purplish skin. His older brother jerked away from the touch, but after seeing Izuna's hurt expression, reluctantly sat down before him.

"Sparring practice," Madara grunted. Knowing that his older brother's pride would prevent him from revealing any details about the matter, Izuna nodded. As he applied the healing paste though, the younger boy couldn't help but ponder the words. Had Madara been fighting the war veterans again? He must have, for none of the warriors of their own generation could stand against him.

"Aniki is so brave to challenge those men," Izuna thought glowingly.

"Next time, I'm setting those pretty locks of hers on fire," Madara thought darkly.