Oh hello there.

Well, just a random oneshot I was inspired to write. I honestly have no idea whether you guys are gonna like it or not, but I'm kind of satisfied with it since I have troubles writing lately. I know, still struggling with Of thieves and Lovemaking. But I'm trying :'D

This oneshot is based on a random song I came accross: BoTalks - F*ck It (feat Caroline Pennell).

Well, what more can I add?

Enjoy! And do not hesitate to share your thoughts!

P.S. I'm very sorry for any typos, I did read it through beforehand, but if I missed anything, my most sincere apologies :'C

Fk it I don't wanna be your friend

The sun was shining shyly between the leaves, as a gentle breeze grazed over pale features and dark locks of hair. Long lashes were twitching with every touch, but he forced them shut despite of the playful wind. The weather was nice, the air somewhere between the end of summer and the beginning of autumn. The world was slowly turning over a new page, as nature was the first to reply to the changes.

Nothing changed the fact that he was not going to move from that spot, lying lazily under the old tree with falling leaves of fire surrounding him in a gentle embrace. He couldn't care less about skipping classes, or ruining his oh-so expensive uniform, nor the nagging he would get later on from his teacher in regards to his unethical behaviour.

Fiery leaves had fallen atop of him, slowly and gently, like a practiced dance, but he did not mind. He enjoyed the transition, the silence, the stillness, as it calmed his rapidly beating heart and the tension building up inside of him, as though his ribcage might explode anytime soon. His whole body was tensing up, as though he felt something was coming, a storm approaching him, a storm so huge, that it will destroy everything in its path, leaving behind nothing but broken pieces.

"Talon," she called out in a gentle whisper, and the hairs rose at the back of his neck.

Now I know why storms are named after women. He made a mental note then slowly opened his eyes, his body tensing up even more than before as he felt rustling right next to him.

Amber eyes got accustomed to the light and he rose in a sitting position, looking down to his left. His heart stopped for a minute and he forgot how to breathe, as her scent entered his nostrils, a lovely combination of lavender and rose and suddenly, everything around him started to spin. He had to clench his fists until his knuckles turned white, just so that he would find the necessary strength to keep looking at her and not walk away like a scaredy cat.

And the sight of her was like fresh prey to any predator. She was small, oh so small next to his lithe body and tall figure, with long, sun-kissed locks falling victims to the breeze, heart shaped face facing forward and ocean blue eyes tainted with worry and rather puffy. She was wearing the same uniform, but where his trousers were navy blue, her skirt was a lighter shade and instead of the silver tie he wore around his neck, she had a golden ribbon. He took in her white knee-length socks and black loafers, the usual clean image she was sprouting all the time. The only things that fell out of place were her swollen eyes.

Him again, huh?

"Skipping class, Talon?" She tried to tease, but her voice cracked when she called out his name, another sign that she's been crying.

He tucked a lock of hair behind his ear and forced a smile. She would always come to him, whenever she felt down. "Aren't you doing the same, Miss Luxanna?" He teased her then, trying to ease her pain.

She scoffed a bit, then wanted to turn around and face him, but changed her mind at the last minute. Lux probably didn't want to be too obvious about crying.

But just who was she trying to fool?

"Well, at least I'm allowed to do it every now and then." She shrugged. "Unlike certain people."

Talon smiled a bit then did something he never thought he would. But being so deep in the friendzone as he was, nothing he'd do would change her perception of him.

So he stretched out his arm and took her by the chin, making a shocked Lux face him against her will. The look on her face was priceless, despite the fact that she was a mess. Ocean blue eyes widened twice in size and those plump lips opened just a bit in surprise, as a shy blush crept on her round cheeks, due to the circumstance she was forced into.

She lost herself in his strong gaze, amber eyes holding her captive in the most beautiful of cages, and the ocean was sinking in a sea of autumn. Lux had always known that he was handsome, with those dark features in contrast with the lighter shade of skin, but still tanned somewhat, the long nose and the strong jaw, the dark hair sitting on his shoulders, and the intensity of his gaze. The small of her body started to tremble and she felt something in her stomach.

What was that? What did it mean?

"Is this how you're trying to seduce women, Mr. Loner?" She then teased, rising her defences the best she could, behind a curtain of casualness.

She felt him twitch a bit, his face turning to stone for the tiniest of seconds, only to change back into a forced smile.

"No, Miss Popular. This is how I'm trying to cheer you up." Talon then spoke slowly, letting go of her chin. Lux looked away immediately. "What happened this time?" He asked, facing forward.

Lux didn't reply for a few moments, but he could wait for her. He had waited for her most of his life, anyways.

"Yeah," came her short response. Lux was hugging her knees, resting her chin on them. "We fought. Again."

"Why?" No emotion was in his question, maybe because he was all too familiar with the situation. It was nothing new to him. Just another small heartbreak.

"He's too busy with his club. Said he can't hang out in the weekend." She was honest with him, she had always been – in most cases, at least.

"Not even on your birthday?" Talon asked, following a falling leaf as it hit the ground.

"Nope."

"What an ass. He could make some time at least. What can be so important with that stupid club anyways?" Talon rolled his eyes.

Lux left out a small chuckle He was glad.

"New members, I suppose."

"Mhm," he nodded absent-mindedly. He knew very well what was going on. In the last couple of years, starting with middle school and even in high school, Lux had always been together with him.

An ignorant bastard who was taking everything for granted. An asshole who had no idea how to cherish what mattered the most. Or better yet, who.

"So what are you gonna do then?" He bit the bottom of his lip. Should he go on? Should he ask the question he wanted to ask in the first place?

Fuck it.

"Do you wanna hang out with –" But her reply cut him in mid-sentence.

"I'm gonna hang out with Kat and the girls. You know, girls' night. You turn 18 only once." Her response was rushed, but Talon understood her. He really did.

She didn't want anyone knowing that they were talking. She didn't want to hang out with him. He was the loner of the school, while she was the most popular and loved girl. Why would she want to be seen around him?

Forget the fact that they grew up together.

Or that she is best friends with his sister.

Just how does he fit in the equation?

"Nice," he replied with a nod.

You just don't fit in, you retard. Talon mentally slapped himself.

"But –" Lux then turned around suddenly, but stopped right after, upon realising just what she's done.

Not taking into consideration how close they were sitting one to another before, when she turned around, her face came a few inches close to his, so close, so, so close, that she could feel his breath on her skin, and she felt a chill rush down her spine.

But she couldn't take her eyes off of him. He was looking back at her with the same surprised expression, but those eyes of amber, of melted gold, they were going to be the end of her. The small of her hand rested on his knee, as she leaned in unconsciously. His strong hand brushed a few wild locks of hair out of her beautiful face, then it rested there, cupping half of her face. She trembled under his touch.

Gravity wasn't able to stop that force. The storm was too big.

Talon leaned in closer as well, feeling her small body shake next to him and just as his lips were about to brush against hers, he heard the bell ring and they both jumped backwards.

Shocked, confused, and obviously embarrassed, Lux got up immediately and stuttered a rushed "goodbye" before running off.

Talon, on the other hand, had remained in the same position, pale and still as a statue, unable to believe just what was about to happen.

And stuff like that, it was not supposed to happen between friends. Especially not between him and Lux.

He hadn't seen her after that episode for the rest of the week. Well, technically speaking, he had seen her around school, always giggling with the girls and gossiping and being the bright girl everyone has known her for.

She hadn't even looked at him once. But then again, what was he expecting?

Pushing away whatever was left of his broken heart, Talon continued to live his everyday school life hanging out by himself and ignoring the remarks other students were making about him.

Looking for her would do him no good anyways, since she would always walk away whenever he tried to approach her. It only worked if he let her get close to him. It was as though she did whatever she pleased with him, waltzing in to his life like a gentle spring breeze then tearing up at whatever was left of his heart.

He had been in love with her ever since he met her, suppose that was what they called first love. Ever since their parents sent him and his two sisters, Katarina and Cassiopeia to the Institute, and Lux rebelled against her parents to come here as well, turning down her parents' offer to have her schooled at home. She had been bullied one day by a bunch of boys, for wearing expensive clothes and he defended her, by taking up a beating instead.

Lux then befriended Kat and the next time they met, she didn't seem to remember him anymore, but then again, why would she? He was just an outcast, a lone cat with no friends or anyone to rely on. It wasn't like he expected her to thank him, or to befriend him. Talon was simply glad that to be able to hang out with her whenever she wanted to.

And, of course, that implied the fact that he had to put up with and ignore whoever came in and out of her life, just like her current boyfriend, Ezreal. They were a good match, he had to admit, as much as it pained him. They looked good together, as they both outshined the rest of the crowd.

So who was he then, what sort of intruder did he think he was, bumping into Lux's life and tainting that light with darkness?

Just one more year, he had to bear the pain for one more year then he was out. He would leave, go far, far away from her and would never return. And he would forget about her. Eventually.

Until then, he would just swim in his pain and misery.

But even so, it was a difficult task.

It was Saturday night and Talon felt like he was going insane. He didn't feel like playing video games or sit in his bed and read, so he decided to go out for a stroll.

Taking his leather jacket, he kicked on his boots, tied his messy hair in a loose pony tail and was about to leave the apartment when hurried footsteps echoed behind him, just as he was about to open the door.

"Are you leaving somewhere?" A feminine voice echoed behind him and Talon was just not in the mood to deal with her.

Turning around, he was faced with the older sister, Katarina, who was just in the process of getting ready.

"Yeah, I'm going for a walk." Talon responded shortly, while looking at his sister.

Katarina was beautiful, but in a very different way than Lux. She was tall, had delicious curves, emerald green eyes and flaming red hair. She was wearing a tight black dress and currently putting on some silver earrings.

"Getting ready for the party?" He then asked, nodding in her general direction.

"Y-yeah," Katarina replied awkwardly.

She knew what was going on between them. She had heard both versions, even though lately Talon would barely talk to her. Supposedly, he didn't want people to think badly of her, just because they were related.

"Talon, look..." She began, but didn't know how to continue. Seeing his brother in such a mess made her heart ache, especially since she knew that the reason behind his pain was her best friend. She had known all along how Talon felt about Lux, and how Lux, well...

"Hmm?" He tilted his head to the side, while fumbling with his hood, taking it out of his jacket.

"Is everything all right with you? You've been acting weird this past week. If it's about Lux, I know that the two of you barely talk lately, but you know –" she couldn't finish her sentence though.

"Why does that matter, Kat? Whether I speak with Lux or not. It's up to her anyways. Always has been. It never mattered what I wanted." Talon said coldly, lowering his gaze.

He was angry. But not with his sister. He was angry with the world, he was angry with Lux, and most importantly, he was angry with himself.

"Would you like me to talk to her? I can ask her to apologise..." The redhead tried, hoping that her brother would accept her help.

But how wrong she had been.

Talon glared at her angrily. "I don't need your help, Katarina. You cannot force someone to talk to someone else. You cannot force people to get along. You cannot force someone to like someone back. Just as I cannot force myself to stop loving her." He was angry, oh so angry.

Angry with himself, mostly. For being such a coward and not changing something about the "relationship" he had with Lux when he had the chance. Maybe if he acted sooner, he'd be the one holding Lux in his arms, and not that ungrateful bastard.

"I know." Katarina said quietly then turned around, heading back towards her room. "I just wanted to tell you that Lux and Ezreal broke up."

But by the time she finished the sentence, the door slammed shut behind her.

Talon had only a couple of hiding places in the city, either an abandoned house in the outskirts of the civilisation, or a bowling club where he met up with some... friends.

Technically, he wouldn't call them "friends", since they were all outcasts, loners, people who needed company and a drink to share with others to ease their worries, but to Talon, that was enough. He had never been the kind of person to need other people around him, anyway. He had learned that when his biological mother abandoned him and he was taken into the Du Couteau household.

Yet, there were days – or nights, when even he needed company. And that was the perfect place.

Walking in to the main hall, there was a bar to his right, some couches to the left and the main space meant for bowling.

Talon walked up to the bar, where the bartender, a tall, massive guy white silver dreads and a patch over one of his eyes was currently washing some glasses. As Talon took a seat, he greeted the bartender and waited for him to finish his task so he would serve him.

"'Evening, Rengar," Talon greeted the bartender and he nodded in his general direction, lifting up a finger, asking the young boy to give him a second to finish what he needed to do.

Talon nodded back to him, knowing that his wife must have been around, and the big guy covered in tattoos, as scary and intimidating as he looked, was very much a scared cat when it came to his wife.

"Your usual, it's on the house," Rengar spoke a few minutes afterwards, while placing beer in front of Talon.

"I can pay for it though." Talon narrowed his eyes at the bartender, about to take out his wallet.

He didn't need pity, from anyone.

Rengar chuckled a bit, but the sound he let out sounded like rumbling instead, as he was a massive guy twice Talon's size. "Keep your money, kid. I know you're distressed again. It's the least I can do to help."

Talon looked at the guy with uncertainty. "Isn't your wife going to scold you again for giving out free drinks?"

Another rumble of laughter. "Just when is my wife not scolding me for anything?"

Talon couldn't help but laugh at that comment. Indeed, that couple was entertaining and fun to watch. Seeing such a big man like Rengar tremble at the words of his wife who was like twice smaller than him was a funny scene.

"Are you distressed again?" Rengar then asked, while standing in front of Talon and pouring himself a drink as well.

Sometimes Talon wondered just how do they have the money to keep the place running, if they always give out drinks left and right? But then again, he had his suspicions, and based on them, Talon was pretty sure Rengar had some ties with the black market. So maybe this bar served as a hobby.

"Is it that obvious?" The boy asked sheepishly, while fumbling with the bottle.

Gulping down his drink, Rengar replied. "Well, I noticed that it's sort of a habit for you to come down here whenever the missus does something to hurt you."

He spoke words of truth. Talon did drop by whenever Lux would do something to him. He just never thought it'd be that obvious.

"Nice observation skills you go there," Talon said with a wry smile, to which Rengar shook his shoulders with a proud grin on his face.

Despite of his looks, the white dreads, the beard, the patch, the huge scar underneath it, Rengar was quite a softie. It was no wonder how scared he was of his wife.

"But yeah, it's Lux again." Talon then said with a heavy sigh, then downed some contents of his drink.

"What happened this time?" Rengar asked with a frown.

Talon rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, having no idea how to explain something he did not understand himself.

"We had a moment, well, an almost-moment then she ran away and ignored the shit out of me this past week." That's what it was like, Talon supposed.

"Is she with that sorry ass of a guy still?"

Talon shook his head. "Kat said that they broke up. It was going to happen at one point, I suppose. But they're probably gonna get back together. They always do." It pained him to say all of this.

"Well," Rengar through for a moment, while kneading his beard. Surprisingly, he was quite good at this sort of advice. "Didn't she run away from you because she realised she might be into you? And having a boyfriend and all that, maybe she thought it was wrong. That's why she broke up with him, so that she can give it a try with you? I mean, maybe she needs some time to heal for her to come around."

Talon listened carefully. Under any other circumstance, it made perfect sense, for this to happen. But they were talking about him and Lux. Rengar's theory would never apply in their case.

"Oh my, is this another session of love counselling?" A girl's voice echoed behind Talon and he rolled his eyes at the sound of it. Rengar seemed amused as well.

Next to Talon, a short and skinny girl, with two long braids of blue plopped herself on a chair. She was wearing revealing leather clothes, fishnet stockings and army boots, as she was mischievously smirking at Talon.

"Go away, Jinx. I'm not in the mood." Talon berated coldly.

Jinx only chuckled at his remark. "You are never in the mood, Talon boy. Always depressed and sad and crying over a little princess who thinks too highly of herself to even call you a friend publicly. Why do you even bother with her? Do you think that if you cry after her like a little puppy she will come back for you? You're wasting your time on people like her, we both know this."

Talon grew angrier by the minute, with every word Jinx spoke. He was angry about what she was saying, but deep in his heart, he knew she was somewhat right. As messed up as she was, Jinx had the tendency to speak the naked truth every now and then.

"I don't need your opinion." He then said curtly, not facing her at all.

Jinx scoffed. "Fine. Go on, keep lying to yourself. Keep telling yourself that the two of you are a match and that you'll be able to have one of those happy endings from the movies." She then said, making a barfing face at the end.

"Jinx. Cut it out."

All three of them – Talon, Rengar and Jinx – turned their heads to the side, as they heard someone else come to the bar.

She was short, with long and wild brown hair tied in a high pony tail, emerald green eyes, tanned skin, and wearing an oversized dress this time, unlike the tight clothes Talon was used to seeing her in. But upon closer inspection, Talon noticed how she was holding her tummy, which was big and growing still.

"Nidalee, don't be a party pooper!" Jinx cried out as she looked at the woman roll her eyes and walk behind the bar, glaring at her husband.

"You're giving out free drinks again, aren't you. And to children at that." She glared at Rengar, smacking him on his back, since she was too short to smack him on the back of his neck.

Talon caught a small smile on Rengar's face.

"They're not underage though. I mean, I know Talon isn't, as for Jinx... Well." The bartender shook his shoulders.

Jinx made a face then jumped down the chair and walked away, mumbling about Nidalee ruining all the fun.

The couple started to argue, but to Talon, it looked like Nidalee giving a hearing to Rengar while he was trying to calm her down and taking the scolding, asking her to think about the baby.

Just then, Talon heard his phone ring, and upon checking it he saw that his sister was calling him. Dread filled every pore of his being, but he answered anyways.

"Hey, what's up?" He tried to sound as casual as possible.

"Talon, can you please come over? Lux is not feeling okay." Katarina's distressed voice echoed on the other side of the phone call, and everything blacked out in front of his eyes.

With endless thanks offered to Nidalee and a grieving Rengar, Talon borrowed their spare car. It was Nidalee's idea after all. Katarina told him where they were and Talon drove to the club as fast as he could, without breaking the speed limit too much.

Countless thoughts raced in his mind, each of it darker and more worrisome than the previous, so Talon had no idea how he managed to keep himself together. Granted, he squeezed the wheel until his knuckles turned white, berating himself all the ride that, despite telling himself that he'd give up, he'd still run to her side at the first word that she's not fine.

So pathetic.

He was so pathetic. He hated himself for this. But as much hatred he felt towards himself, twice was the love he felt towards her still.

Arriving at the club his sister mentioned, Talon parked the car in front of the club and called Katarina's number since he wasn't able to spot them in the sea of people. It was Saturday night after all, and that was one of the most popular clubs in the city.

After getting their location, Talon dashed to the back of the club, sneaking between people like an expert feline, easily making place for himself. Then, he saw Katarina's red her and the next thing he spotted was Lux, sitting on the pavement, golden hair a mess, as she was resting her face on her knees.

"Talon," Katarina called out when she heard steps, and both Quinn and LeBlanc turn around in surprise.

"What happened?" He asked with worry, ignoring the other two's curious gazes.

Katarina shook her head, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"She saw Ezreal with a new member from the club and she started to drink. The shock must've been too big for her... Could you perhaps help?"

Talon ran a hand through dark hair and let out a sigh before walking towards Lux, who was held by her friends.

"Wait, seriously? Are you that Talon?" LeBlanc exclaimed in shock upon looking at him closer. "Oh my God, you're actually so hot up close!" She had to cover her mouth, unable to believe her eyes.

Talon shared a look with Quinn, which lasted for a moment, then kneeled in front of Lux, slowly taking a hold of her arms, so he could lift her in his, carrying her like a princess. He inhaled her perfume and was intoxicated with her scent that exact second, but somehow, he got his feet back on the ground. She was light, much lighter than he'd expected her to be.

"I'll take her home. Can you guys manage?" Talon then asked, looking at his sister.

"Yeah, we're–" Katarina was about to answer when LeBlanc cut her off.

"Wait just a minute! Who do you think you are to take Lux home?!"

"Ev," Katarina whispered her friend's name, placing a hand on LeBlanc's shoulder. "Let them go." She then looked at Quinn, who shook her head in silence, then back to Talon. "We'll manage to call a cab." She then told him.

Talon nodded then turned his back at them, taking Lux back to the car he arrived in. He placed her down carefully on the passenger's seat, then covered her with his leather jacket, only to hop in the car and drive away.

She was fast asleep, and Talon was driving slowly. For whatever reason, that was the closest he ever got to Lux being vulnerable. He didn't want to get to her place soon enough, for the night to be over. He wanted to spend as much time with her as possible.

But he also knew he couldn't be that selfish. She was not his to take.

Which is why, acting against his instincts, he stepped on the gas and headed straight to her apartment.

Lux was living alone, had her own place, so nobody would question him bringing her home. But that was also the saddest part – how alone she was in truth.

On the way back, she came to herself a bit, even though she was still out of it, but at least she could walk now, while leaning against Talon's taller figure.

"Can you take out your keys?" He asked gently, ready to help her with anything.

Lux nodded, while she took out her keys.

Opening the door, there was a staircase leading up to 3 floors, and her apartment was on the first. So slowly, steadily, they walked up the stairs, and Lux opened the door to her apartment.

"Could you take me to my room? I need to lie down." She pleaded softly.

He did keep a window open during the ride, for her to come back to herself, but the process would take a bit longer. So Talon carried her to her room, gently placing her on her bed. He was about to leave, when the small of her hand held onto his wrist and Talon made the mistake to look back.

His heart stopped for a moment there, when he saw her lying on the bed, silver dress rode up on her thighs, golden hair a delicious mess, and baby blue eyes shining with yearning. Pink lips opened, and she pleaded with him.

"Could you bring me some water, please?"

How could he refuse her?

So Talon went to her kitchen to pour her a glass of water, berating his stupid self once again. He was acting like a puppy for sure.

But why did that even matter at that point? He was close to her once again, he could be with her, even as a friend. He'd never be more than a friend so he'd simply take that for granted. The little time they had left together, since, when the sun would rise the next morning, she would be back to her usual self and she would distance herself from him once again.

But Talon was fine with that. It was going to be for the last time, after all. He was going to be near her for one last time, then he would move on with his life. He couldn't spend any more of his time on her, or he'd go crazy. She's taken up so much of him already, it was insane. He was going insane.

He needed to be as far away from her as possible. He needed time to heal.

But healing would come only after he'd break apart completely. Talon was prepared to go through that as well.

"Here is your water," he spoke softly, while leaning over her, handing her the glass of water she asked for.

Lux looked at him for a longer moment, debating on something Talon didn't quite understand. But then again, she wasn't herself either, being drunk and all that.

Which is most probably why he let down his guard. He didn't react fast enough when Lux grabbed his forearm and pulled him atop of her. Instead, amber eyes widened twice their size and he had to land in such a way he wouldn't crush her.

Talon opened his mouth to say something, but he was too shocked by Lux's actions. And the next thing he knew, her thin arms circled around his back, and she pulled a leg up to his side, her thigh rubbing against his hip. Dark locks of hair fell in front of him, but she lifted herself up easily, pushing her chest against his, her lips brushing against his in a slow, burning, agonizing kiss.

His whole being froze for a moment, as Talon was unable to comprehend what was exactly going on there. And yet, the friction of her body against his awoke sensations in him he had long thought lost. His heart raced twice as fast, his breathing doubled, and he had the sudden urge to grab a hold of those golden locks and pull at them violently, to make her arch her back for him.

He wanted to take her, to mark her as his, to make himself known to her body, to leave his imprint on her, make sure she would never, ever, be able to forget him.

Such beastly thoughts raced his mind when her plump lips forced his open, but as he felt her small hands sneak under his T-shirt, and snaking towards the front of his jeans, eyes opened widely as though he was seeing the world for the first time.

With a sudden movement, he rose on her bed, pushing her off of him.

Getting off her bed, he brushed his forearm against his lips, wanting to remove any tainted traces of their kiss.

He, then, looked at her. Talon was met with two shaken orbs of ocean blue, mouth left ajar and confusion mixed with shock on her beautiful face. Lux couldn't believe what Talon had just done. More so, she couldn't believe what she had just done.

"Do your tricks have no limit, Lux?" Talon raised his voice at her, but it broke when he spoke her name.

Oh, how she'd damaged him in the sweetest possible way.

Tears were gathering up in her beautiful eyes. Or was it his sight the one getting blurry?

"Talon, I... I just, didn't want to be alone... I thought that..." She was crying too, he noticed.

"You thought what?!" His voice was sharper than he thought it'd be.

"I wanted you to console me..." Lux couldn't find the strength to look at him.

But him, he needed to hear it. He needed to hear all of it. Just so that he could move on. End it, once and for all.

"Why?" He was hurting himself, why did he have to stop? Why did he have to do this? He could've had her, he had everything he yearned for all his goddamn life, and he couldn't take it.

"Because... you're my friend." She burst into tears.

Why? The answer was oh so simple... He loved her too much to allow her to make such a mistake.

He didn't want to be a rebound. He had enough being the friend she could always come to whenever she had troubles. He was tired of giving her sympathy, he wanted to be her pillar of strength.

Because he loved her.

He just loved her too much.

So he needed to hear her reasons, for the exact same reason he loved her, so that he could put an end to it.

Because he loved her so much it tore him apart.

"You know what? This isn't what friends are for. Friends aren't something you toss around, and come to them whenever you feel like it, whenever you can't confine in your other so-called friends. Fuck it, Lux, I don't even wanna be your friend! I never wanted to be your friend!" His voice rose with every word he spoke, and the tears rolled down with every passing second.

He was pathetic. He had always been, ever since she came into his life, wearing that pretty dress and those golden locks. But he needed this. He needed all of this to heal.

"Wha..." Lux was shocked, tears rolling down her round cheeks as well. "B-but Talon, I-I thought that you... about me..." She was in shock. "Where are you going?!" She cried out in despair when she saw him turn his back at her and head towards the door.

"I'm done Lux. I'm done for good." Was all he said before the door slammed shut.

All he left behind was a leather jacket Lux clung onto and spread her tears on, and a few spots on the floor his own left.

He had never enjoyed autumn. Granted, his eyes had the same colour as nature, when everything was dying around him. The leaves were withering, the grass was burning and nature was falling apart. It reminded him of the day the only woman in his life had abandoned him. It had been a day just like that one. Nature was dying all around him, except for the spot he was told to never leave.

Be a good boy and mommy will come back for you. Count 3 times from 100 to 1, and by the time you finish, mommy will be here.

That's what she had told him, all those years ago, but she never fulfilled her promised. He was left in the middle of dying autumn, under a tree of flaming leaves. He had always had an interest for Poinciana trees. Maybe Talon was a sentimentalist, after all. He was left under the flaming tree, and ever since, whenever he saw one, he felt as though, if he stood around it, his mother would magically appear.

He had been clinging onto blind hope all this time, but hope was all he had left.

Everything else died for him. He'd give one more chance to believe again, then he would abandon hope as well.

High school was over, after all. He was finally free of that hell. Those were some terrible years for him, especially since he started school at the same time as Katarina did, even though he was 2 years older than her. It was all because of the fact that, when Marcus du Couteau had found him, cold and scared in a world of red, he had been so messed up that he needed a few years to become normal again. Which was why, sending him to school sooner would only cause him more harm.

Oh, if they only knew.

Opening his amber eyes, he felt something disrupt the usual peace, so he lifted himself in a sitting position, in the living room of his small house. It was an abandoned house, at the outskirts of the city, with a flaming Poinciana tree guarding over the entrance.

Yet, Talon brushed long fingers through dark locks, expecting his sister's sudden appearance.

He had run away from their apartment a few months ago. He had no idea how long had passed since then, as he was too busy working in the neighbourhood, gathering money. That day was a special day, after all. The symbol of a new beginning – his new life.

That was the day his father found him while he went out hunting in the forests of Noxus.

Talon expected the visitor to be his sister, but when the door opened, and he saw a familiar face he knew he would never forget, his insides shrunk to nothingness, and his breath caught in his throat.

There she was, shyly walking in the house, holding a Mascarpone cheesecake in a hand, while having golden locks set free on her back, wearing a Bordeaux skirt, a black top, black tights and leather, high heeled ankle boots. And the most fitting piece, his leather jacket around the small of her shoulders.

"H-hi," Lux said awkwardly, unsure what to do next.

They went on different ways, separated with a fight, so she wasn't exactly sure whether her presence would be welcome or not. But she wanted to give it a try. If he were to throw her out, she'd try again.

As much as she had lied to him before, as many lies as she told herself, she cared about him. She always did.

"Hi." Talon replied curtly as he sat up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen.

Lux wasn't sure what to do so she just looked at him. It's been so long since she'd last seen him. His hair had grown, and the air around him seemed darker, tenser than she'd remember it to be. He wore the same style, a random dark tee, some dark jeans and boots, and yet, something about him was different. He was alluring, mysterious.

Talon returned from the kitchen with two forks and headed towards the table. He turned off the TV and looked at Lux, raising a brow questioningly.

"O-oh yes, of course." She shook her head and headed towards the table, placing the cake on the surface of it and removing the plastic lid.

She knew this was his favourite cake, as he had always been someone not to like sweets. She just hoped she didn't remember it wrongly.

"What's the occasion?" Talon asked casually as he grabbed a bite of the cheesecake, without bothering as much as to cut a slice.

Lux blinked a few times, while sitting on a chair, facing him. When her eyes met his, she found Talon having the fork in his mouth, looking at her with a raised brow.

"It's just... Happy Birthday!" She tried to force a smile, feeling awkward as hell. She mentally slapped herself.

"Thanks." Talon spoke curtly and went on to grab another bite.

He really did enjoy cheesecake, and for that, Lux was glad.

"And also... I wanted to say something else..." She began, fidgeting with her hair. This got Talon's attention as he placed down the fork, taking a chair for himself and sitting down as well.

Lux felt very tense, especially since she was very bad at stuff like that. She thought about this scenario at least a thousand times, with a thousand possible outcomes, just to mentally prepare herself for the talk.

But she needed to say it. She had to get it out of her system, and let Talon be the one to take the next step.

Inhaling and exhaling in a useless way to calm herself down, Lux wet her lips then looked at Talon straight in the eye. She faltered a bit but regained her strength.

"I know we separated under horrible circumstances, for which I am to be blamed, I know, but... I thought things would play out differently that night. I'm just stupid I guess." She laughed wryly and shook her head. "Truth is, I don't want to be friends with you either."

That straight confession surprised even Talon. Even though it shouldn't have. He wasn't completely healed yet, that was the truth.

"I wanted much more than that. Ever since we met on that playground, when you protected me from the bullies. I knew I couldn't really help you, so I ran after my brother to ask for his help, but by the time we returned you were already gone." Lux then shook her head, wearing a sad smile.

Amber eyes widened upon hearing those words. She remembered me?

"Then, when I met Katarina and became friends with her, I didn't know you guys were related. I was delighted when I saw you again. But I noticed that you didn't remember me, so I pretended to meet you for the first time."

Talon bit back a chuckle. He pretended not to know her because Lux pretended the same. How silly.

"Then, I realised that you wouldn't let just anyone next to you, so I thought that maybe, if we start off as friends, we could become closer. And we could become something..."

A sad sigh left her lips.

"But I had been wrong. You were truly hard to approach, and even harder to sway. At one point I thought that you only wanted me as a friend, so I hoped to make you jealous. That's why I started going out with Ezreal. But he fell in love for good, until recently that is. I thought that if I came to you, crying about another man, you'd be jealous and show me something more. But that was stupid of me."

Lux looked up at Talon, ocean blue eyes melting in a sea of autumn. She was mesmerised by him.

"I only realised how much I hurt you on my birthday, when I pushed your limits. I never wanted to hurt you the way I did. I just wanted you to pay attention to me, to like me. But now I know I was never worthy of you." She stood up and walked in front of Talon.

Lux placed each hand on his shoulders and leaned in to place a small kiss on his cheek.

"I should've said this a long time ago, Talon. And I know it means nothing more today but: I loved you since we first met."

Tears were dwelling up in her pretty eyes once again.

Talon stood up to face her, although he was towering over her instead.

"Thank you for loving me." Lux then said, as she burst out in tears.

Talon said nothing, just cupped both of her cheeks with his palms and he leaned in, tilting her head backwards, making her face him.

"Oh no, you're not getting away with this." Lux shook at his words. He truly was angry. And he had every right to be. "You don't get to come in here on my birthday, bribe me with cheesecake and those doe eyes, apologise for breaking my heart and then pretend like everything's fine. Do you know what I've been through all these years? Do you know how it felt? Do you know how much it hurt?"

Tears rolled down on his fingers, but neither broke the eye contact.

"I do not know any of it Talon, I truly do not, but I want to help you. I don't want you hurting anymore. I want to make the pain go away." Lux replied amongst tears, as her hands grabbed onto the sides of his shirt.

"You are my pain, Lux," he cried out, voice cracking.

She started to cry and pulled him closer to the small of her body, trying to offer the most of the comfort she could bring forth. She wanted to soothe the pain she's caused him, because she'd been so stupid to realise they were both feeling the same thing towards each other.

Oh, if she realised it sooner, or if she had built up the courage to tell him from the start, instead of playing all those schemes, maybe she could've had him. She could've called him hers.

But he would never be hers, just as she would never be his. The pain was too bug, the void too deep, and he needed healing. He needed to be healed by her, and she was poison just as she was medicine.

So he would take the bittersweet medicine this one time, and hope it'd last him for a lifetime.

Long fingers snaked from her cheeks to her neck, then to her shoulders, resting on the small of her hips. Talon leaned in closer to her, brushing his lips against hers and Lux responded to his kiss with shaky lips, small hands tightening their grip on his shirt.

Talon lifted her in his arms and she locked her legs around his lips, only for them to crash on his couch, where he took his time to remove every piece of clothing she had on her.

He would take her, claim her as his own for this one time, let loose of all his yearnings and desires, swim in a sea of infinite pleasure that Lux was offering him, and he would heal. Both of them would heal.

They needed each other just as much as they could not be together. He needed her like the air he breathed and she needed him just like another heartbeat to live. They were poison to one another, so venomous they could not live side by side, but they would die if apart.

But they were also medicine, and they needed healing. She was medicine to him by the way her cries and touches ignited his skin, and he was medicine to her where their two halves made a whole. He was filling her up with poison, but it was healing her body, while she was infecting him with venom.

So sweet, so deadly.

First loves were oh so dangerous.