zig.

"I can take you home if you want?"

It wasn't meant to be a weighted offer; it was just that the party had run into the night and most of the remaining guests were either drunkenly reminiscing about our past four years at Degrassi or making out in Miles Hollingsworth's pool, and Maya was looking a little spent on social interaction, so I figured I'd offer a scapegoat.

But when she turned to me with that familiar sort of spark in her eyes, I felt the room for suggestion in my choice of words.

I didn't have a chance to reiterate before she responded with a simple "Yeah?"

"I mean…yeah," I cleared my throat and leaned back into backyard chair I'd practically been glued to next to her for the past eight and a half hours. "It's pretty late—And, uh…you look…tired." (I added to make sure she didn't think I was trying to…keep her up.)

But for a second, I could swear that she smirked—even if it was just an inkling of a smirk—before she smiled at me and nodded. "Yeah. Okay."

We attempted to bid a collective goodbye to the group, but everyone insisted on coming up up to greet us individually with hugs and banter and well wishes for the future bathed in a sickeningly sweet layer of overgrown nostalgia. I could swear our graduating class never got along as well as it did once we all started realizing we might never see each other again.

"It's ironic," Maya mused as she zipped up her windbreaker and padded down the footpath from Hollingsworth manor. "At some point or another, I hated almost every person at that party, and…now, I just feel, so…"

"…So…?" I unhooked my keyring from my rear belt loop and tucked my starter into my palm.

She shrugged, and shuffled along. I let her collect her thoughts in silence as we reached the sidewalk. Eventually, she huffed. "…I don't know. Empty, I guess?"

"Oh yeah?" I furrowed my brows as I thumbed the unlock button, watching for my the flash of my headlights from across the street.

"Yeah. Everyone's all, 'keep in touch!', 'don't be a stranger!', 'we don't know the next time we'll see each other again!', and…last year, I figured that, by the time I got to this point, I'd be so ready to move on with my life and leave all of…this behind…"

"…And now?"

She pursed her lips and shrugged. "…Now it just feels like…high school's over so we're over."

My glance in her direction it must have been a sharp one because she instantly looked up at me.

"—No, wait, I don't mean…we're not…!"

"…Okay…!" I chuckled with relief, "Because I was about to say, here I thought we agreed we were…staying in contact—"

"Oh, yeah, definitely! Definitely!" Her anxious laughter reflected mine. "No, yeah, you're driving me to California, we're keeping in touch, we're fine. It's just…everything else that seems to be over. It's unsettling."

I shrugged. "Nothing's really over—"

"High school is over—"

"But that's just high school—"

"—But it just feels like this impending doom—"

"—But it's not—"

"—Because isn't everything supposed to start now?"

"—I mean, I guess—"

"—So why does it feel like my life is ending—"

"—It's not," I grabbed her arm and turned her to look at me. Her eyes were wide with periwinkle distress, but in them glistened embers of need. My heart sank into my lungs and my hands rose to her shoulders, and I took a deep breath to soften my tone. "Especially not for you. Your life is just beginning. This is just the start of it! You think the Maya Matlin peakedin Degrassi?" I scoffed, cheesily. "As if!"

She exhaled in an embarrassed laugh, but relaxed into my grip. "Stop."

"No, I mean it!" I smiled, giving her a tender squeeze. "You're on, to…bigger, better…brighter things. Your name in lights. Your dreams, even! Isn't that what you always talked about? How nothing was gonna get in the way of your dreams?"

"Zig…"

"And now, here you are! Miss Maya Matlin! On her way to SoCal Art! First stop, California, next stop…the world!" I threw on arm around her shoulders and the other up in the air dramatically, leading her towards the passenger side of my car. "What will she do next? Will she be a singer? A songwriter? The next international pop sensation? Will she go gold? Platinum? All of the above?"

"You're an idiot," She giggled as I opened the door, shooting me a vexed (but actually thankful) look as she slid into her seat.

I let her have the aux cord (as usual) on the drive back to her house. She insisted on playing that new Panic! At The Disco album she'd been trying to make me listen to all year. I couldn't tell if I was actually into it, but I liked the way she sang along to every word, between her proudly-belted melodies and quietly-hummed harmonies, especially the ones she made up herself. Sometimes she'd forget the words and murmur like I couldn't tell she was making it up as she went. Others she'd groan and throw herself back against the seat as she tried to regain her purchase on the lyrics.

I took the side streets so the ride would take us the long way home.

"This is you!" I announced with feigned gusto as I stalled at the curb, glancing over at her as she glanced out her side window.

"Sure is…!" She trailed off, her lips pressing together in a firm line. "Remember when it was you, too?"

That tugged at a heartstring, but I tried to play it cool. "Uh…yeah. Throwback, huh?"

"It wasn't that long ago."

"I don't know, I think you just caught the nostalgia."

"I guess…" It was almost a sigh, the way she replied, and her face scrunched up and her hands fell into her lap to toy with the end of her zipper. Something in her had deflated by the time she spoke again. "It's not gonna be mine either by the end of the summer."

"I…I mean I wouldn't say that. Just because you're…going off to college doesn't mean this won't still be your home. There's always…holidays, and vacations…hell, once you graduate you might not even want to stay in California." She didn't say anything—most likely because I'm shit at comforting—so I shifted to face her more, forcing a smile to brighten my tone. "…And…besides, it'll…be weird at first, but…you get over it eventually."

"Yeah?" She looked back at me, one corner of her mouth slightly upturned. "Is that what you are? You're over it?"

"…I, ah…" I spat out a nervous laugh and my gaze dropped to my center console. There wasn't anything there, I just…couldn't keep that eye contact for the moment.

The air went stale for a few, lingering moments. Then I heard her jacket rustle as she unbuckled and turned to look at me. "Hey, do you want to, like…come in? I…" Her mouth moved over silence like she was fishing for an excuse for the invitation.

I didn't need one. "Yeah, sure."

Slipping into the Matlin home, I noted the ConGRADulations! decorations that hung from every surface. Maya pressed a finger to her lips and guided me through the dimly-lit kitchen.

For a moment, I was watching her rummage quietly through the fridge.

But then something about the way the shadows cast around her invoked the memory of our silhouettes kissing desperately in this very spot.

My blood pumped harder and I glanced about the room, ghosts of our past selves sprouting up through the darkness: me teaching Maya how to dance for her class, her playing cello as I listened from the den, sharing ice cream on the countertop, dodging one another playfully as she chased me around the island before we paused and pulled each other into a needy embrace—

"You like Coke, right?" Her voice pulled me out of my stuper. I turned to see her holding up two cans of soda.

"…Um," I coughed, "Yeah, that's fine."

"Thought so." She nodded, straightening to close the refrigerator door before nodding for me to follow her to the staircase.

"Yeah," I trailed close behind, trying to avoid the phantoms of our former selves asleep in each other's arms on her couch. "…This place brings back memories."

She laughed. "You were just here the other day!"

She was right. That last one was only from a few nights ago.

Once in her room, she locked her door and suggested we put on a movie as long as we kept the volume low. I slipped out of my shoes and into her bed and set my can on the nightstand as she combed through the channels on her TV. We bantered about what we had been meaning to watch and what we were still waiting to come to Netflix. She eventually settled on popping in her DVD of Cruel Intentions, probably because we'd both already seen it a hundred times.

We didn't make it past the opening credits.

I didn't want to be presumptuous, but I'd had the feeling things would take this turn since she made eyes at me at the party. Her lips tasted of cola and the faded pink lipstick she'd worn through the day and like each kiss of ours that was banked in my memory. She'd panicked for a moment about not having a condom but I assured her I kept some in my wallet. I sometimes still bought the ones that I knew she really liked, and I couldn't tell if she was nostalgic about seeing the violet packaging or if I was just making everything out to be more meaningful than it really was.

Every inch of her felt so familiar and yet so brand new at the same time, like we'd been together in another life and were only reuniting in this one; from the way my fingers flowed through her blonde tresses to how her acrylic nails scraped down my back, it was magnetic and wanton and lit a fuse in me that I'd almost forgotten had gone out so long ago. It had hardly been a few weeks since I'd last had sex. But this was different.

The title menu was playing Bittersweet Symphony on a loop by the time we sank into her mattress, panting and heated and satisfied about three times over. We bathed in the warmth of our shared afterglow as we caught our breaths and let the air conditioning soothe the sweat on our bodies. I reached for my soda took a hearty sip, sigh in relief as the cool bubbles wet my dry mouth. I offered it to her and she did the same, thanking me softly as she handed it back for me to put on the end table. Then, we resumed the quiet.

Eventually, she curled into my side, rested her head on my shoulder and a hand on my chest, and let her lashes flutter shut. I wrapped my arm around her and kissed the hot top of her head.

We breathed for a few more minutes.

Then, she whispered, "You know, I haven't done that since we broke up."

"O-oh!" (I'd kind of figured; she felt even tighter than I'd remembered.)

I think she felt my awkward falter and craned her neck to look up at me. "…You don't have to be all weird about it, I know you have." She laughed, giving me a playful shove.

My teeth clenched together and I shrugged to the left. "I mean, I didn't want to sound like I was bragging."

Rolling her eyes, she laid her head back down. "It's fine, I wasn't really looking for it at the time. I was either focused on my work, or…just…not in the right headspace."

My blood shot cold and my arm hairs prickled. All I could do was nod.

She filled the silence. "…I mean, to be honest, there was a point where I thought Saad and I might, um…but I think it was like a, wrong place, wrong time kind of situation…And then it was hard for us to talk after…you know…everything…"

"…Y…eah…" I wet my lips and cleared my throat. "…Er…Esme said he wasn't into that sort of thing, anyway, so…"

"Esme stripped down and made him paint her naked. She didn't have quite the same relationship with him that I did, did she?"

"I mean, no, but—"

"And besides, you were out there having…car sex and threesomes. You can't really be jealous of Saad, can you?" Her wide blue eyes gazed up at me from beneath her furrowed brows. There was almost a boasting to her judgement. And definitely some amusement.

I stammered a bit. "I didn't say I was jealous!"

"I know you!"

"I…!" I let out a laugh in defeat. "I'm not trying to be, alright?"

She scrunched up her pixie nose and narrowed her eyes in mercy, soughing into a smile. "Fine."

I grinned down at her in gratitude, running the backs of my knuckles up and down her spine. Her fingertips traced shapes around my heart. I could feel her soften next to me. Reflexively, I did the same.

The quiet became deafening so we put the movie back on and actually watched it this time (though I think we both dozed off about an hour in).

I stirred before her. It took a moment to remember my bearings and process that the preceding few hours hadn't actually been another a dream of mine (as it wouldn't have been the first time I fantasized about a new night under covers in this turquoise-walled bedroom with this girl who's consumed me since freshman year). I tried not to feel too self-satisfied, but, along with my playback of our traipse in her sheets, there was something of a pride swollen in my chest, nestled snugly under my drunken, pounding heartbeat.

I thought to sneak out before anyone else in the house got up; I knew every member of Maya's family was home for the weekend in light of her graduation, and I wasn't sure how any of them would react to finding out that she'd taken me to bed last night. It was hard to even tell how they felt about me at this point, since I'd broken their daughter's heart in the past and surely they all knew about it but she'd blessed me with access back into her life anyway. They all seemed happy that we went to prom together just an evening ago, but that was an entirely different ballpark from sleeping together.

But her limbs were so intertangled with mine that I could hardly tell where I ended and she began and she looked so peaceful breathing shallowly in her slumber and I thought about how long I'd been missing this exact contact and how it might look to her if we slept together after all this time and then I just was gone by morning, and I just didn't have the heart to do it. So I reached around her to grab the remote from her bedside, turned off the television, pulled her blankets over our muddled figures to make us a bit less naked, pressed my lips to her beating temple, and lay back to stare at her ceiling and invite sleep back to me.

She made a small noise of content and tucked herself further into my side, burrowing her face into my neck and snoring softly beneath my ear.

God, I'm so in love with her.

Just past noon, the sunlight spilled through her sheer white curtains and pried my eyelids apart for good. This time, it didn't take too long to recall my night at the Matlin house, but the distant babel of family conversation in the background did clue me in that the rest of its residents were now awake.

My body felt stiff from hardly moving all night and the arm I'd kept draped around her body was reduced to pins and needles from falling asleep. I rustled a bit so that I could stretch, trying to make as little noise as possible, but nevertheless, my movement seemed to wake her. Her back curved so that she could roll halfway off of me and she squeezed her eyes tightly shut, rubbing the fatigue out of them with her fists. She blinked a few times before her gaze met mine, and her visage melted into a tired bliss. "Hi." Her voice was groggy and sweet.

I could feel myself beaming. "Hi." I practically croaked.

She hummed and shifted entirely onto her back so that she could get comfortable as well, nesting in her pillows and staring blankly into the air. We settled into a silent agreement that neither of us knew what to do or say next. It verged on awkward for a moment, so I reached for her hand. She looked at me, then looked at our fingers, laced them together, and smiled, scooting over to rest her head on my shoulder. I smiled in return, laying my head on hers.

…"Hey Maya, you up?—Oh!"

Maya's older sister, Katie, hadn't knocked on the bedroom door before she opened and started walking through it.

We gasped and bolted upright in a panic and swaddled ourselves with any covers we could reach. But clearly, Katie had already seen enough.

"Sorry! Sorry!" Apologizing profusely, the older blonde retreated througho the doorway, shielding her eyes with the backs of her arms. "I didn't know, um…!" She peered out into the hallway and then lowered her hands back to the doorknob, sparing us but a glance before her eyes dropped to the floor. "…We're just…um…we're about to…go out for breakfast before dad's train, so…we wanted to make sure you were…awake…"

"…Ah…well…IIII'm awake!" Maya laughed awkwardly, bunching her blanket all the way up her collarbones. My face was burning beet red.

Katie nodded. "Right. Right. Cool. Um. So…get dressed…uh…Zig…Zig…youuu…you can come, too! Yeah. Yeah, I'm…I'm sure it won't be a problem."

"O-oh, I don't—"

"No, really, it's fine, um…" She swallowed thickly and jerked her thumb through the threshold. "…I…'m gonna go tell mom and dad that you're getting ready—that you're both…getting ready, ah….and that you two, just…fell asleep together. Clothed. Fully…clothed…Yeah." She gave a thumbs up and awkwardly slipped back out of the room, double-checking that the door was shut all the way.

We had no choice but to look at each other and laugh.

Maya gave me a shirt and pair of boxers that she'd adopted from me (back when we were together) so that I wouldn't have to wear my whole outfit from the night before. "I can't really help you with anything else, though," She teased as she sifted through her wardrobe for clothes of her own. "But feel free to use my perfume if you stink too bad."

"Ha ha."

The morale of of the rest of the Matlin family was suspiciously high by the time we made it downstairs. All I could envision was Katie briefing her parents on what she'd walked in on earlier and insisting they play it cool. Even their father, who I hadn't seen since I was dating Maya in the first place, seemed just a bit too happy to be catching up with me. I found it hard to believe that he hadn't secretly been planning my castration since he heard about what I did to Maya and, really, I wouldn't blame him if he was.

We went to a diner a few towns over that was apparently famous for its crepes. On the car ride there, at the right end of the backseat (Maya got middle as she was the smallest), I listened as the group recounted childhood tales of how the girls wouldn't behave at doctors' appointments unless they were bribed with brunch afterwards. And when they cooperated, this was where they would go.

"Obviously we're both well past the days of crying when we get stuck with a needle," Katie mused as she unfastened her seatbelt. "So lately, we just got here for special occasions."

A hostess led us through the crowded venue to a green vinyl-cushioned booth, where I joined Maya in one side, Katie and their dad took the other, and their mom pulled up a chair to sit at the outer end of the table. I knew that Mr. Matlin's job kept him traveling a lot, and that he often was away more than he was home, so I let him dominate most of the conversation. It was important for him to enjoy this time with his family. (Not to mention safer for me to keep my mouth shut as much as possible, I imagined.)

However, every so often he'd turn the conversation around to engaged me, hard as I tried to keep my input to a minimum. Mostly, he asked about my plans for the future now that I was out of Degrassi. Both he and his wife seemed disappointed when I admitted that I didn't really have any at the moment, and when I mentioned my offer to drive Maya to SoCal at the end of the summer, they both fell into the same, tight-lipped expression.

I got goosebumps all the way down my arms. I wondered if I'd overstepped.

Katie piped in to drain the tension. "I think that's a great idea, actually! That way, dad doesn't have to take time off of work, Mom, you don't have to make that drive all by yourself, and our Chicken Little wouldn't have to take a plane on her own!" She reached across the table to rustle Maya's hair. The younger girl laughed and shoved her sister's arm away.

Still, their parents looked unconvinced. Very unconvinced. In fact, looked at each other wordlessly as if they were telepathically communicating about just how unconvinced they were.

But Katie took note and shook her head, "And besides," She added in an assuring tone, gesturing towards herself, "I was planning on driving down for Maya's move-in day, anyway, so it's not like it would just be the two of them setting her dorm up."

There was a beat. Then another. Then, even if only slightly, that point seemed to sell them the most, as they nodded and eased their postures and began to rattle off road trip essentials. I let go of the breath I'd been holding and relaxed as I watched the family casually resume the conversation like they all weren't acutely aware that I bedded their youngest member last night.

so i've been swimming with ideas as to what happens to zig and maya after their time dnc is over, and i finally decided to write a story on it! as you can probably tell, everything is canon all the way through degrassi next class season 4, where their story (supposely) ends. as far as what happens next...that's what we're here for!

i'm really hoping this turns out to be a long and successful fic. i know i never finish anything, but i have a lot of hope and a lot of ideas and i just feel a need for this sort of pickup where their story left off. that all being said, i hope you guys liked it, please do tell me what you think because it definitely keeps me motivated, and hopefully i'll have another update soon! thank you so much for reading! 3

-kina