"You two," Enobaria had said, "are making a mistake."

We were only supposed to pretend we thought we'd live, but she could tell we both believed it.

"You are both far too attached to your lives."

"Nothing kills us." I had said to Cato as we sat at the fire while Glimmer and Marvel and Marina slept.

"Something will kill one of us." he replied, and I shut him up with his lips on mine.

"Nothing kills us." I repeated, and this time he believed it.

One announcement, one quick change to the rules, too good to be true but how was I to know?

"The Capitol is faithful." the pledge begins. "The Capitol is true."

Suddenly, I was right, and Enobaria was wrong, she was wrong about me everyone was wrong about me and that was all that mattered.

And then I was wrong.

And then the boy from eleven is slamming me into the Cornucopia, the horn that gives and the horn that takes away, and I'm wheezing or heaving or screaming or whimpering "have mercy, please have mercy." and he's growling in my face "did you have mercy on that little girl?"

I didn't kill her, but he doesn't care. Have mercy, i say, but no one has mercy on us. Have mercy, they begged, but no one had mercy on them. the girl from eight and the baby from eleven and the boy from three, they're all the same to me. I may never know what it's like to be a victor, but i finally understand what it is to be a victim.

It tastes like blood and there is no more air in my lungs, no mercy in eleven's eyes so i scream for the only one who cares enough to come.

He is beside me now, holding my hand and screaming that i have to wake up and nothing kills us and i want to scream back damn right nothing kills us, we were already dead.

I want to ask him to win for me, but their blood is choking my lungs, and if he wins then someone else has to feel this way. If he wins then he never has to feel this way. It doesn't matter what i say, and i have never felt so free.

I'm seeing white, floating up somewhere now, never believed in an afterlife but i am still praying that heaven has mercy on me.