So, I've had a love-hate relationship with this story for a while, the concept of Arifureta: From Commonplace to World's Strongest is really good for an isekai story, but there were some things that were just insufferable. Such as Hajime and Yue relationship at the beginning!
So, let's do my own retelling of the story, fixing the problems I had with it...WHILE TRANSFORMING IT ONE BIG SHIT POST!

ENJOY YOU DEGENERATES! Also, fucking

Christ this is the longest chapter I've ever written!

Chapter One: Down The Rabbit Hole

The air wasn't clear, not in the slightest. It smelled of unfairness and smoke, mainly because of the many skeleton warriors that were way above our level...and fire. Particularly, the fire being shot at my face.

*RECORD SCRATCH*

Welp, you may be wondering what the actual hell is going on here. Well, hell is going on here, all because some retard, I'm not saying names - COUGH - Hiyama Daisuke - COUGH. But yeah, the fucker basically triggered this sections secret boss, which just so happens to be a Final Fantasy ripoff of Behemoth.

If I get out of this alive, I'll go on his Twitter and spam #YouHadOneJob to constantly rain shame all over his parade. That or just kick him in the balls for acting like an unintentional LEEROOOY JENKIIINNSS! Ah, the tyranny of choice!

Oh yeah, there's a fireball coming right at me. This is going to hurt.

"Fuck!" I shouted as it slammed into my face.

"Hajime!" I heard Kaori shout.

I felt like I got hit with a goddamn soccer ball. Ah, elementary school, you will be remembered only for your trauma.

I honestly expected that to hurt a lot more than it did. The perks of being in a random isekai situation.

Wait, why can't I feel the floor under my feet. Oh, it's over there, about a few meters out of reach.

Fuck.

Okay, which one of these motherfuckers is responsible for this?

Wait, that smug-ass grin, and those needlepoint eyes that give most yanderes a run for their money in the crazy eyes department.

Hiyama Daisuke, I know who you are, I know where you live, and what I have is a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long time of gaming, watching copious amounts of anime, and playing at music concerts for the school. If I get out of this alive, I will find you, and I will spam your Twitter and kick you in the balls, or lock you in the room with speakers blaring the infamous Brown Note, or all three at the same time. That or I'll just kill you, whichever one I'm in the mood for at the time.

Where was I? Oh yeah, falling to my oh so certain doom. Which, disappointingly, I don't mean the 2016 edition. What a great soundtrack.

BGM: The Who - Baba O'riley

You know looking back on it all, it all makes sense now.

Dream big, live big, love big.

Fall to your death down a giant fucking hole, and now I know, which is zero percent of the battle apparently.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I shouted in justifiable fear.

You must be wondering, how did it all get to this point. You must also be wondering why I keep saying 'you must be wondering'. Well to sound smart of course.

Weeeeeeeellllllllll~!

BGM END

VCR cassette tape rewind noise.

I was on the public bus going to work, it was Tuesday...fuck Tuesday. And from what my coworkers were saying the sale going on right now was going to make today one really busy day.

The downsides of working retail, my friends.

I heard the sound of a helicopter flying while I was watching the asdfmovie on my phone.

"The Science Show! Piano! Whose idea was this!?"

"Hehe," I chuckled.

Suddenly, I heard a crashing noise and then I knew only darkness. Then I heard laughter.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" the gut-wrenching laughter continued. "That was the best thing since I organized the whole Carnival Phantasm thing! The old piano drop gag, of all things! Aaaaaaaaaah ha ha ha ha ha haaaa!"

I looked at the person in front of me having a chortle at my expense with wide eyes.

He was an old man that appeared to be in his fifties, he had gray, gel-spiked hair, he wore a formal Victorian suit and white gloves with a cane in his hands. He was also rolling on the floor in laughter.

"Zelretch?" I asked unsurely. "Is that you?"

"Yes, and again, that fucking piano!" the Wizard Marshal, went into another laughing fit.

I raised an eyebrow. "Were you watching asdfmovie over my shoulder? You're a badass immortal wizard and you haven't seen't asdf movie?"

He stopped and grinned. "Over your shoulder? Boy, I watched the real life thing!"

I crossed my arms confused before it hit me.

"Did that helicopter drop a fucking piano on me!?" I yelled.

Zelretch's grin grew wider. "Yes, and it was fucking hilarious!"

I gave a chuckle too. "Can I see how it happened, it is kind of funny after all."

Zelretch pointed a remote at a large T.V. that appeared out of nowhere and pressed the play button.

I saw as the helicopter flying overhead carried a piano, it was dangling in the air due to being tied with rope. The rope snapped and crashed through the top of the bus I was in, crushing me. Then the bus spontaneously exploded.

After snickering for a few seconds, and turned to Zelretch.

"Why did the bus explode?" I asked.

He crossed his arms. "That's the thing, for some reason, whenever you die, or are about to die, something explodes without any rhyme or reason."

I shrugged. "Meh, seems legit. So, what happens now?"

Zelretch's face split into a beaming grin. "I'm going to throw you into another world!"

I gave him a blank look. "Coolio."

Zelretch gave me a rather perplexed look. "You're being surprisingly calm about this."

"You know how many Self Insert fics I write Mr. Update Eldritch Gamer Already," I said accusingly.

"Fair point, the other versions of myself and I have an annual tradition of throwing people into other worlds, usually Shirou, and the Highschool DxD world," he revealed.

I nodded. "I fucking knew it. So, what world are you throwing me in, RWBY? Sekirei? Monster Girl Quest? Senran Kagura?...Monster Girl Encyclopedia?"

This time, it was Zelretch's turn to give me a blank look.

"Boy, stop giving me ideas, unfortunate souls will suffer, and much debauchery will be had," he said.

"Isn't that a good thing?" I asked.

"Yes, now off you go," he said with a wave of his hand.

"Wait, what world am I going to!?" I yelled.

"Well, I put some thought into it. 'It' being the world, and you being the 'thought.'"

I deadpanned. "Lame."

"Now, as they say, begone, thought!" he exclaimed.

Then I knew only darkness...again. Hello, my old friend.

Seventeen years later

Honestly, this was not what I was expecting when I got sent into another world. Everything's completely normal.

No magic, no superhumans, no superpowers. Hell, this isn't even a cool science fiction future!

It was still interesting though, surprise, surprise, I was born in fucking Japan. The lewdest nation in the whole wide world. I had no problems with this predicament. Also, Zelretch was nice enough to program moonspeak into my brain.

Thank you my fellow troll in arms! Shall we forever stand above the fuckbois below us!

It's time for high school! For me, this is the second time I'm going through this shit. I used to be a college student dammit, at least the education system over here is a lot better than it was in American, fucking brutal though, but I managed.

So, it's Monday morning right now, to most people this would be would be the most depressing day of the week. To me, it is a day of foreboding, because the next day is Tuesday. I fucking hate Tuesday. All bad things happen to me on Tuesday, including that damn piano.

Oh, shit, I should probably introduce myself, Zelretch is most likely posting this shit on Wattpad of all places, or DeviantArt, so people are going to be terribly confused if I don't introduce myself in the first chapter of this, most likely, train wreck.

My new name is Hajime Nagumo. I'm seventeen, I've got a rather slim build. I've got upper back length black hair with what at first glance seem like bed head on the right side of my head making me look like I'm the pale emo version of TYPE-MOON's Siegfried from Fate/Apocrypha, and as I insinuated, no it's no bedhead, its natural. I love this hairstyle, also, I have brown eyes and am I'm wearing my school's uniform. Brown blazer, dress shirt, tie, brown dress pants. You know, the works.

I look and feel like a tool, specifically a monkey wrench.

I opened the door to my classroom and was greeted by a familiar sight that always brought a small smile to my face. Everyone staring at me with looks of disdain, and disgust.

"Yo, nasty otaku!" I heard one of the students exclaim. "Did you stay up all night to play games again? Was it an erotic game?"

"Ew, so gross!" a female student said, looking at me with disgusted eyes. "Playing erotic games for the whole night is so disgusting!"

Most of the class burst out in laughter at myself being ridiculed, and like always the person who ridiculed me was Hiyama Daisuke.

The bastard had chin-length blond hair that covered one of his eyes, I believe he thinks it makes him look badass. It doesn't. He has an almost permanent arrogant expression on his face that made him look just that more punchable.

I smiled. "And yet I still have the best grades in class. Maybe you should try playing them yourself, who knows, you could learn something."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Learn what?"

"That your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth," I said with a straight face.

"What!?" he yelled in outrage.

I raised my hands up in a mock surrender. "Now, now, Daisuke, I want to see things from your perspective, but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass."

Hiyama growled, but then stopped and gave an arrogant grin. "At least I'm not a filthy otaku, unlike you."

That was fucking weak, here's how you do things. "Do yourself a favor, and save your breath."

"Why?"

I gave him a condescending smile. "Well, you need it to blow up your next date!"

And with that, the whole class grew silent. Shutdown motherfuckers! This was a daily thing, and it always warmed my heart to see everyone try to pay attention to basically anything else other than me after a good roasting. Hiyama tried this shit every day, he never learned his lesson.

Hiyama angrily stuttered, trying to get a word out, but ended up just glaring at me.

"Nagumo-kun!" my friend Kaori Shirasaki said with a beautiful smile on her face. "Good morning!"

Kaori was basically your typical bishoujo or if you don't speak weeb, it means beautiful girl. She had long black hair with bangs reached her waist, with big, cute, droopy, brown eyes. She also had a pretty nice body for someone her age. She was basically my only friend in the student body. Yeah, that's sad I know.

I smiled. "Morning Shirasaki-san."

Kaori smile turned brighter when I greeted her back. "You're almost late again today, did you stay up all night."

I sighed. "I can't get anything past you, can't I?"

She giggled in response. "The bags under your eyes were a dead giveaway."

My smile grew wider as the rest of the class, who were watching us, stared at me with unforgiving merciless eyes. You see, Kaori here is known as one of the Two Goddesses of this school, and she tends to hang around me a lot. Now imagine having the attention of the one person everyone in the school wants. Yeah, they hated my guts on principle.

That, and they hated me because of my outward love of anime and video games, of which I had no problems expressing, and my rather perverted disposition. Well, it was less of perversion, and more of that I'm far more comfortable with my sexuality and sexuality in general than most of the damn prudes here.

Hey, if you can't be honest with yourself, who can you be honest too? But while most of the students ridiculed me for it, the teachers thought I was a rather funny kid, after all, I hadn't done anything bad. I don't look like Issei Hyoudou, do I? Cause I do not want to end up in a cell for sexual harassment with a cellmate called Tyrone.

"Why the hell is that pervert otaku close with Shirasaki-san!?"

"You're just trouble for Shirasaki-san, back off."

I could practically hear everyone's thoughts, and they were all so fucking salty, it was hilarious. Despite all of this negativity thrown my way, I refuse to give in! Fuck what they say, I do what I want!

Also, another thing, in this world, my dad is a game developer and my mother is a shoujo mangaka. I've got skills in both fields and I compose a lot of music on my free time. I've helped my mother come up with plots for some of her mangas, but with my sometimes dark and cynical outlook, a good portion of my ideas were thrown out the window. Some of the ideas that she liked were the ones based on (not her or this universe's knowledge) H.P. Lovecraft and Bloodborne, not to mention copious amounts of memes. I didn't always tell people about them either. There would be a Ugandan Knuckles joke in there and the world would never know.

Have I ever mentioned how awesome it is to plagiarize without any way to be caught doing so? Because it is. Ah, the benefits of not having the same pop culture.

The manga we made sold out like hotcakes, it was beautiful.

My father supported my decision to be a music composer. Hell, some of the tracks I made were put into the games he produced. I was even given the opportunity to help with the final boss theme of one of them, and I loved every second of the experience!

Getting back on topic, to be honest, I'm not really sure why Kaori associates herself with me so much. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she has a crush on me or something?

BGM: Seinfeld Theme

"Kaori," I heard from behind me. "Why do you even bother with him?"

Luckily, I do know better.

The two of us turned around to see a trio of students. The origin of the voice at the front.

His name was Kouki Amanogawa, has a badass name, brown hair, a few inches shorter than myself. That and he's got that stereotypical overly kind harem protagonist personality that just seems to draw everyone in. Guy's got enough charisma to make Iskandar from Fate/Zero give him a nod of respect. In a sense, you could call him the perfect man. I call him the perfect idiot, he's the most gullible fuck in the whole world, he also believes that he's always in the right with his messed up sense of justice E.I. he gets hot-headed when he doesn't get what he wants.

Without a doubt, I knew almost every girl in the school gravitated towards him, no doubt Kaori too.

"You really are so kind, Kaori," he said to the girl next to me.

To Kouki's left was Shizuku Yaegashi.

She was a beautiful girl with long black hair tied into a ponytail and red eyes. Black and red are my favorite color combinations, so she already earned points with me because of that. She's Kaori's best friend and won a perfect record in a kendo tournament, she's known as the gorgeous swordswoman throughout the school.

"Good morning, Nagumo-kun," she greeted me. "Cutting it close like always, hm?"

I gave a halfhearted shrug.

To Kouki's right was Ryutarou Sakagami.

The two of us were the same height, six foot two, but the guy was built a bear. He had short brown hair and brown eyes. He acts like your typical energetic muscle-head, but he's extremely loyal to his friends. He's also Kouki's best friend. Ryutarou didn't like me very much since I always come to class looking rather unmotivated and sleepy compared to his hardworking, and determined self.

"Forget him," Ryutarou said. "There's no use talking to some gutless prick."

'Well, fuck you too, asshole' I thought bitterly.

BGM END

Kouki stepped forward. "Nagumo, when are you going to stop fawning on Kaori? She can't give you attention forever."

I just sighed and went to my seat, ignoring him. He doesn't listen to anything I say anyway, best to just ignore idiots like him, too much headache.

I pulled out my smartphone and earbuds about to start listening to some music.

"Eh?" I heard Karoi sound out before hitting my play button. "I'm just talking to Nagumo-kun because I want to."

The dark aura around most of my classmates intensified. The male students gnashed their teeth and stared at me with malicious intent. Hell, I heard Hiyama and his cronies Saito Yoshiki, Kondo Reiichi, and Nakano Shinji talking about where they should take me for a beating during lunch break. Good luck with that, I go to the music room during lunch, no one goes there except myself and a few teachers. They still haven't figured out that's where I go.

'Ah, your salt, it sustains me.' I thought with a smug smile.

"You're too kind, Kaori," Kouki stated.

Kaori gained a confused look. "Eh? Why? I don't see why talking to Nagumo-kun makes me kind."

I pushed play a bobbed my head to the beat of the music, enamored in my own little world.

After a few seconds, I felt someone tapping my shoulder. I turned to my right, it was Kaori. I gave her a knowing smile, I knew what she wanted. I took out one of my earbuds and handed it to her, she always liked listening to music with me. The two of us bobbing our head in sync.

Soon enough our teachers finally came in.

The first one was Aiko Hatayama, she's a rather petite person, almost childlike really, her hair is dark brown as are her eyes.

The other however caused me to check my privilege the first time I saw her in my first year here.

She was a tall, buxom woman with long, wavy purple hair tied in a folded ponytail at the back with two long locks hanging down, framing her face, accentuating her dark red eyes. She was wearing a white, frilly blouse with long long sleeves and a wide neck that revealed a large portion of her bust, including the mole on her right breast, along with a small portion of her black, lacy bra underneath, a short, form-hugging black skirt with a small slit up the right side, black high-heeled shoes, and long, thigh-high, stockings with lacy black garters visible at the edges of the skirt, along with frameless, square glasses.

This was Rin Suzune, I know damn well she's from the Senran Kagura. Is this because I mentioned Senran Kagura to Zelretch?

I fucking swore I was in the Senran Kagura world when I saw her. One: Because I never played a Senran Kagura game. Two: My only knowledge of the universe is from a few reviews, and Three: Looking up some of the girls on the wiki.

Other than that I knew nothing. So, Zelretch's throwing me into a world I know nothing about would qualify for Senran Kagura.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, I'm still deciding on that, I wasn't stuck in a school full of scantily clad kunoichis, and Rin wasn't one either. One less headache for me I'd say.

She was a strict, but fair teacher, who didn't choose favorites in her classes, even with every male sending lecherous gazes her way, myself included. Seriously, there was something wrong with you if didn't check her out at least once. She was also the manager of the school's music club...which I am the only member of.

Yeah, there are a few reasons I can guess why that is.

One: I'm in the club and everyone hates me so they'll do everything in their power to avoid me.

Two: They have no idea Rin is actually the manager.

Three: They do know Miss. Sexy Teacher is the club manager and they stay the fuck away because they know how merciless that woman is. Seriously, woman can strike the fear of God into anyone.

You're most likely wondering how the club is still up if I'm the only member, right? Well, we're technically the most profitable club in the school. How? Well, Rin and I organize concerts with the few music students the school has, and we're very renowned for how amazing we are, tickets get sold out in just a few days. It's ridiculous I tell you. Also helps that I'm at the top of my class.

Also, she's got an amazing voice, angelic really, I could listen to her sing all day. That's why she's always the lead singer, with me singing with her if it's a duet.

The club was held, no surprise here, in the music room. More like a music studio, seriously, why does no one go there dammit!? Well, either way, I spent most of my time after school their during club, both last year and this year. A lot of time in the club was spent just composing new songs for concerts or just talking to each other while I helped her grade papers, it was rather relaxing.

Rin's really good company if you take the time to know her. It's just that her strict teacher persona tends to scare everyone off, probably for the best. She's also been tutoring me after school whenever we get the chance. Why else would you think I've got the best grades in class? It's almost like I'm a Gary Stu, except nearly everyone hates me! *Seinfeld Theme plays for 3 seconds*

Over the last couple of years, the two of us got rather close, and I mean like really close. The red blush on her face when I catch her staring at me when she thinks I'm not looking. The few secret dates we've been on. The fact that she trusts me enough to give her a full body massage, which I have done mind you, seriously, those H-cups must do a number on her back, kunoichi or not. Not to mention the few makeout sessions we've had over the holidays. It was a Christmas well spent if you ask me.

Honestly, I was kind of confused my she chose me over basically anyone else, I'm the most hated person in the school after all. Well, as it turns out, she explained to me that I'm the only man she has met that actually respects her as a woman, I'm always honest with her, and I don't treat her like a piece of meat. But to be fair, with an outfit like that, what did you expect for the rest of the hormonal teenagers?

I turned to our second teacher and gave her a small smile. I wasn't sure how far she wanted to take our relationship, but it seemed like she preferred this middle ground. Well, for now anyway.

"Good morning, Suzune-sensei." I greeted.

I saw a ghost of a smile grace her lips, not many would see it, but after being with her for so long, I would.

"Good morning, Nagumo-san," she said.

Both Rin and Aiko walked up to the podium in front of the class, both unminding of the unusually tense atmosphere, they'd gotten used to it by now. Time forclass to start.

My consciousness gradually returned to me as my body remembered it was time for lunch. Yeah, I was sleeping in class, I've been up all night, give me a break. I stretched my arms up and cracked my neck, enjoying the flinches of my classmates as they heard the loud cracks. That never gets old.

Growl!

Shut up! I'll feed you, Goddamn!

I brought out a small lunchbox, there wasn't much food in it, I couldn't really make much in my sleep-deprived state. A few roast beef sandwiches that I finished in just a few minutes. It wasn't much, but it'll get me through the day, and if it wasn't I had some energy drinks in my bag.

Welp, time to sleep again.

My peaceful trip to the land of slumber has interrupted as I heard someone giggle and sit beside me. I opened a single eye to see that is was Kaori.

She smiled at my sleepy form. "Nagumo-kun, it's rather rare to see you in class during lunch, do you want to have lunch with us?"

Tension and silence flooded the room as she asked that. My, my, they're extra salty today.

I gave her a wry smile and scratched the back of my head.

"Thanks for the invitation, Shirasaki-san, but sorry, I already ate all of my lunch," I said while lightly fluttering the plastic bag I used to wrap the lunch.

The tension grew as I tried to gently reject Kaori's invitation. She girl in front of me remained completely oblivious to the rapidly growing dark aura of the classroom.

"Eh!?" Kaori sounded out, shocked. "You only had that much for lunch? You need to have a proper meal! I'll share some with you."

I raised an eyebrow, this was new. She's supposed to have the hots for Kouki, right. I'm mean, he is Mr. Harem Protagonist here after all, not me. So then what's with this poorly veiled flag moment.

I wasn't given time to respond as Kouki and his group walked over.

"Kaori, let's eat together," Kouki said. "Nagumo doesn't seem like he had enough sleep. Do you think I will allow a sleepyhead like him to eat your delicious homemade food?"

Kouki finished with a bright smile.

I felt my eyebrow twitch. Wow, I was raised by my parents in both worlds to respect women. Apparently, this jackass didn't get the memo that you don't treat people like own them.

Naturally, like clockwork, what I found wrong with what Kouki said flew over Kaori's head. She was a bit of an airhead, cute sometimes, but worrisome other times.

Kaori tilted her head cutely. "Eh? Why do I need to get your permission?"

"Pfft..." both Shizuku and I laughed as the words left Kaori's mouth. Talk about getting shut down, and thought what I did before class started was brutal.

I shook my head as I took my earbuds out. Today wasn't too bad of a day.

What could possibly go wrong?

Suddenly a large, pure white, circle with a complex design that looked right out of a fantasy JRPG appeared right under our feet. Almost immediately, everyone's attention in the class was on the rapidly expanding magic-looking circle. The magic circle was glowing brighter by the second.

Everyone, including Rin and Aiko who had been relaxing in the classroom during lunch, stared at the circle in shock of its sudden appearance. I grabbed my bag tightly in anticipation as to what was about to happen.

"Everyone, get out of the classroom now!" Aiko shouted.

Just as the words left my teacher's mouth, the circle's light flickered as if it was about to explode.

Murphy, I hope you fall down three flights of stairs and break both your kneecaps.

The classroom was engulfed in by a bright light. This could only end so well.

I slowly opened my eyes and met with the fact that we were longer in the classroom anymore.

We were all in a huge hall that I believed were made out of marble, the whole building seemed to be done with a smooth white luster. Huge, beautiful pillars held up the building and the ceiling was dome-shaped. The place looked like a cathedral. My class and I were standing at the top of a pedestal that was in the middle of the hall. Surrounding the pedestal were at least thirty people all in white robes, and on their knees giving prayer with both hands on their chest, they all had some kind of staffs with them. They seemed to be priest, one, that seemed to be about seventy years old, he wore some kind of formal at that made him look like the pope.

The old man spoke. "Welcome to Tortus, our Hero, and his fellow countrymen, We welcome you all. I am called Ishtar Lombard and I am the Pope of the Church of Saints. Please, let's get along."

He presented himself with a smile often associated with nice elderly people. I wasn't buying it for a second. After all, I had read enough Dumbledore bashing fics to know where this was going.

We were moved to some kind of dining room, Kouki's group of four, Aiko, and Rin sat at the head of the table, and I took a seat between Kaori and Rin.

I could tell everyone's minds were in chaos at the situation, myself included to a lesser extent. I had seen enough anime to figure out where this was going, enough to know we might be sent out to war.

When everyone was seated, maids entered the room pushing carts. Not just any maids mind you, these were the beautiful fantasy maids you'd often see in most harem anime, or at a maid cafe. A majority of the class boys stared at the maids because of their adolescent minds, thought the girls were sending them piercing cold glares. The maid went around the table serving drinks to the class.

I, on the other hand, took my laptop out of my bag, which thankfully came with me to the other world, and turned it on, might as well put the finishing touches on this piece while I wait for Ishtar to explain what in the fuck is going on here.

"Thank you," I kindly said to the maid that served me my drink.

The maid gave me a nod and a professional smile before leaving.

I took a sip, it was wine, damn good wine, but I wasn't really much of a drinker. I guess I'll make due, I don't want to get hammered though.

I turned my attention back to my laptop and brought up some sheet music that I was nearly finished with the day before. In all honesty, this was the only way of coping with the situation at hand.

"Is that the new piece you've been working on, Nagumo-san?" Rin asked in her usual, seemingly emotionless tone, the busty purple haired bombshell looked over my shoulder and at the music sheet on my screen. "Fly Me to the Moon? This is a new one."

"Hm, is that sheet music, Nagumo-kun?" Kaori asked as she also looked over my shoulder.

As Kaori and Rin expressed interest in what I was doing Kouki and the rest of his group gathered around me all looking at the sheet music with shocked expressions on their face.

"T-That unenthusiastic guy made something like this!?" Ryutarou nearly yelled.

"That's rather impressive, Nagumo-kun!" Shizuku said with an approving smile.

"Did you really make this, Nagumo?" Kouki asked disbelievingly.

I gritted my teeth as the more people gathered around me, the only thing not making me shout at them was Rin, she lightly squeezed my knee under the table, away from everyone's prying eyes. As I said before, as a teacher, she was resolute in not picking a favorite student in her classes, but right now none of us were in school, and we were both on edge. Sometimes I think she knows me better than I know myself like right now, she could tell when I'm upset even when I don't show it on my face.

I took a deep breath. "Yes, thank you, and yes. I've been working on it all week, why do you think I come to school looking like a zombie, it's because this keeps me up at night."

Looks of disbelief crossed Kouki's and Ryutarou's faces. Kaori and Shizuku gave me looks of understanding as if they had finally solved a complicated puzzle.

At that moment, Ishtar cleared his throat and begun his explanation.

So, here's the situation.

The world we're in is called Tortus. There are three major races here. Humans, Devils, and demi-humans. Humans rule over the north area, Devils rule the south, and Demi-humans kept to themselves in the wilderness to the east.

With no surprise whatsoever, the Humans and Devils have been at war for several hundred years. Devils were much stronger than humans, but humans the advantage in numbers, and both sides haven't had any large-scale wars in the last few decades, but they're preparing themselves. Recently there've been abnormal incidents occurring. The deployment of monsters by Devils.

Monsters are said to be a variant of wild animals that took in magic and changed. They're not considered real living organisms once labeled monsters. Monsters have the power to mimic peculiar magic that other races have used, and this makes them very powerful and dangerous animals.

Until now very few people could tame them. Even then, the tamer could only control one or two of them at most. Then the Devils gave the middle finger to this rule, which means that the humans are outnumbered and were facing a huge crisis.

"The one who has summoned you here is Eht-sama." Ishtar explained with a very rapt expression. "He is the god that protects us and the one we worship in the Church of Saints. He is the one that created this world. Most likely Eht-sama realized that if things remained this way the Humans would face destruction. For this reason, you were summoned to avoid this grim future. The world you come from is higher ranked than ours, the people from your world would have exceptional power here. Before the summon, we prayed to Eht-sama. You were the 'salvation' that he sent. With your powers, we will overthrow the Devils and save humanity by the will of Eht-sama!"

He was most likely recalling what the oracle had told him. More than ninety percent of the humans here followed the teachings of the Church, those who have heard the oracle are often assigned to a position of power.

I sighed as I leaned back into my seat and took another sip of my wine.

This was all really suspicious, not that a god summoned us, whether they did or not doesn't matter. Did they even have a way to send of back home? Hell, the war was suspicious as fuck too, we were given the bare-bones details, why were the Humans and Devils at war in the first place? That was never explained to the class.

Aiko slammed her hands down on the table in rage.

"Don't joke around! These are children you're trying to force your war on! I won't allow such a thing! I refuse to do so!" Aiko yelled. "Please let us go home! Surely their families are worried about them! What you've done here is nothing more than kidnapping!"

Aiko was very angry...which was adorable since she was basically a loli. She was four foot nine in terms of height. We often called her Ai-chan, even when she got angry at us for doing so, it was adorable.

Some of the student's, moved by Aiko's words stood up for her against Ishtar's unreasonable demand.

They were shut down when he said just two sentences.

"I sympathize with your feelings. Unfortunately, we have no way to return you."

Fucking wot?

Silence filled the halls as I felt my eyebrow twitch in frustration. Seriously, you've got to be fucking kidding me!

This time it was Rin's turn to express her rage, but in the only way, she knew how. She sent him a look, not just any look, The Look, properly capitalized and trademarked. The very same look at expressed how absolutely livid a woman was. The Look, trademark, didn't outwardly express rage through a facial expression, it was shown through their eyes. I had no doubt that Ishtar was being shown Hell itself in those eyes of her's.

"What do you mean it's not possible to send us back?" Rin asked in a tone colder than ice.

Ishtar gulped audibly. "A-As I said, it was Eht-sama that summoned you. The magic he uses is not something we human can perform. Whether or not you can return is all up to Eht-sama to decide."

At that, both Rin and Aiko dropped into their seats as if they were puppets that had their strings cut. Soon after the reality of the situation finally sunk in for everyone, the students began panicking and shouting denials.

I shook my head and sighed, looked like I was the only one taking the situation well. After all, I was a reincarnation courtesy of Zelretch. Not to mention of all the Self-Insert fanfiction I've read...and written.

While everyone was having their own little panic attack, I observed Ishtar, the old man calmly watched the panicking students. Behind his calm expression, I saw contempt for us. I bet he thought that we should feel honored to be summoned by whoever the fuck Eht-sama was. Fucking religion, you always have to watch out for those damn religious nutjobs in other worlds.

My attention turned to our cookie cutter Shōnen anime protagonist, Kouki, who stood up and slammed the table with a bang. With that, he effectively got everyone's attention.

"Everyone, there's no reason to make so much of a ruckus in front of Ishtar-san." Kouki said, his EX Ranked Charisma already working its magic. "He had nothing to do with how we got here. Me, I'm going to fight. The humans of this world are facing a crisis, this is a fact. Knowing this I cannot ignore their pleas for help. If I was summed here to save humanity, we might be able to return after we save them. Ishtar-san, how about it?"

Ishtar nodded. "Right, Eht-sama will answer the wishes of the Saviors."

The other students gained looks of hope at that.

"We all have special powers, right?" Kouki asked. "Since I came here I've been feeling this sense of power."

"Yes, that's right," Ishtar stated. "Roughly each of you have power that is several times higher than the people from this world."

"Then it's okay. I'll fight. I'll save these people, and then we can all go home. I'll save this world and everyone, you'll see!" Kouki gripped his fist as he declared this.

I deadpanned at him. If that ain't Shōnen, I don't know what is.

Vainly, Kouki showed a bright smile that sparkled...no I'm not kidding, his smile sparkled. At that point, I looked at my cup of wine with a scrutinizing gaze and pushed it away from me.

The student that earlier had expressions of despair began to regain their calmness and vigor. Kouki's eyes seemed to shine brightly seemed to have found hope in this situation. Hell, half of the schoolgirls sent admiring glances at him.

I heard Ryutaro chuckle. "I thought you would say something like that. I'll fight too, I'd worry about you if I let you do it by yourself."

"Ryutaro," Kouki said with a grateful smile.

"It's we can do right now." Shizuku sighed. "It's not like I hate it though, I'll fight too."

"Shizuku," Kouki said.

Kaori perked up. "Eh, if Shizuku-chan is going, I'll try my best."

"Kaori," Kouki said.

I sighed as the usual group of four agreed with Kouki. The rest of my classmates soon joined with them. Aiko and Rin tried arguing against their discussion, but with no success. Kouki's display was just too effective.

It seemed that everyone was going to participate in the war. We were kids, technically I was thirty-five years old due to die in my past life at age eighteen, but still, we were being urged to fight a war that wasn't our own. None of my classmates got what war truly meant, they were just fantasizing about it, I knew it. War was a horrible thing, looking at all of my fellow classmates here, cheering and raising their cups in a toast to Kouki's speech.

I wasn't cheering, I just looked at them with a solemn gaze. I've never experienced war personally, but I knew if war was anything like it was back home not many of us would make it, and I doubt any of us would come back the same person we once were.

I looked at Ishtar once more, the pope had a very satisfied expression on his face. I noticed that when he was giving the explanation he was observing Kouki, he must have strung his story in the way that would appeal to Kouki the most. With his strong sense of justice, it would have been child's play to manipulate him. Tell him about the tragedy that befalls humans, and the ruthlessness of the Devils, making sure to emphasize their cruelty. Now Kouki was practically in the palm of Ishtar's hands.

My hair shadowed my eyes, and an empty smirk made its way onto my face. I had to give Ishtar props for this one.

"Tch, clever bastard," I muttered under my breath.

Since basically everyone basically agreed to fight in the war, we would need to learn how to fight. Good call on their part, it wouldn't be good if you just sent untainted high school students to an early death.

Ishtar explained a few things to us. The church we were summoned in was located on God's Mountain and at the foot is the Hairihi Kingdom, the kingdom has a very close relationship with the Church. The god that they worship was the God of Creation Eht and this country was founded by the family of Charm Byrne.

We were all lead to the front gate of the church. We were about to descend the mountain and visit the Hairihi Kingdom. The church in question was located at the summit of God's Mountain. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that magic was the only reason that the church was made into a comfortable living environment.

Using some kind of large, magic, floating pedestal, we all safely descended the mountain and made our way to the Royal Place.

We were ushered into the throne room straight away. We walked through the corridors and I couldn't help but notice the beauty of the decorations. Along the way, we saw some knights and maids, a fully uniformed, and looking at us in awe. Looks like we're popular around here.

When we entered the throne room my eyes trailed up the luxurious red carpet that led to the even more luxurious throne. On the throne sat a middle-aged man whose eye conveyed ambition and dignity. There was a woman next to the throne, she seemed to be the queen. Next to her was a ten-year-old boy with blond hair and blue eyes. Next to the boy was a beautiful girl that seemed to be about fifteen to sixteen years old, and accompanying her was a small girl that seemed to be eight years old. Civil officers and military officers were on both sides of the carpet.

Our group stopped while Ishtar proceeded next to the King. The King lightly kissed the Pope's hand as a sign of respect. Apparently, the Pope was top dog here. This confirms my suspicions, the country was run by "God", this wasn't good at all.

The Kingdom's royalty then introduced themselves. The King's name was Erihido S. B. Hairihi. Luruaria the Queen, Randell the prince, first princess Liliana, and second princess Maribelle. After that more and more important people of high status introduced themselves to us. Also, it seemed that Kaori's charm was universal because the young prince was gazing adoringly at her. I could tease her about it later, that would be fun.

After the introductions were finished, a banquet was held and we were able to enjoy this world's cuisine.

The young prince seemed to take a liking to Kaori because he was often talking to her, and this got on the nerves of nearly every boy in my class. I didn't expect much of a chance for the boy, he was ten, after all, that and Kouki was here.

Later we were introduced to the instructors that would train us. They would also provide us shelter, food, and clothing. The instructors were handpicked for the Knights, Imperial Court Mages, and much more. A smart decision for sure, pick the best of the best to train your high school super soldiers.

The next day began our training and lectures.

First, we were all given a rectangular silver plate about the size of your average smartphone.

Knight Commander Meld Loggins was a tall man with wild brown hair and a stubble across his jawline.

He stood in front of us as we looked at the plate curiously.

"Great, did everyone get one?" Meld asked. "These plates are called Status Plates. Literally, these plates will show your stats and status in a numerical form. The plate also serves as an identification card. As long as you have this you cannot get lost, so don't lose it."

We all nodded in acknowledgment.

"Just take the needles we gave you and spill a drop of blood on the plates." Meld instructed. "The Status Plate will then register you as it's owner. Just say 'Status Open', and the plate will display your stats. Hm, you've never heard of such a thing?" Meld scratched his head sheepishly. "Didn't know that. This kind of artifact is from ancient times."

"Artifact?" I heard Kouki ask.

Meld took a lecturing pose. "The artifact is a powerful tool that cannot be reproduced with modern means. It is said that they were created when God and his family still roamed this land. The status plate is one of the artifacts he left behind that cannot be reproduced. It would usually be called a national treasure rather than an artifact, but it is distributed to the general public due to it being a very convenient ID card."

I nodded in understanding as I poked my finger with the needle, flinching at the pain, and smeared my blood onto the plate, it shined red for an instant then displayed my status.

Name: Hajime Nagumo

Level: 1

Age: 17 Years Old

Gender: Male

Class: Bard

Strength: 10

Vitality: 10

Resistance: 10

Agility: 10

Magic: 10

Magic Resistance: 10

Skills: Language Comprehension, Bardic Inspiration, Song of Rest, War Song Strike, Vicious Mockery.

I stared at my status plate in muted shock, mostly at the class. A deranged grin, that caused most others to take a few steps away from me, made its way onto my face.

"Boi, got killed by piano, get Bard," I said still grinning.

This was going to be good!

"For you guy's information, the people of this world start out with stats at ten points average." Meld certified.

Well, that's disappointing, but it does make sense since I'm a Bard. Time to make half races that nobody's ever even dreamed of!

"Although you come from a better world and have zero combat experience, I'm sure your stats are several times higher than that!" Meld exclaimed.

I'm not even going to go into the specifics of how wrong the sentence was.

"Report to us the contents of your plates, understand?" Meld commanded.

Kouki was first on the uptake. "Sir! Amanogawa Kouki, Class: Hero. My stats are all one hundred. My skills are...many!"

Yeah, it's official, Kouki's fucking broken. GM, Zelretch, whoever's listening, nerf this hacker!

"Hey, Nagumo," I heard Hiyama call out as he placed his hand on my shoulder, "I wanna see yours."

Before I could react, I had my status place snatched out of my hands. The jackass looked at my stats for a few seconds before laughing hysterically.

"What the fuck, this is shitty!" Hiyama exclaimed while laughing. "What are you, an average creep!? Meld-san! What's a 'Bard?'"

"It's a support class that appears to be someone who utilizes magic and elicits emotional and performance responses through song," Meld explained as if he was reciting from a textbook. "There's not really much information on the class since it's a very small minority in Tortus. That and in all cases of those who try to be Bards have absolutely no idea what they're doing."

"Said like a side character in a card-game anime…" I muttered.

Hiyama and his cronies began laughing.

"His magic stat is complete shit!" Hiyama stated. "I bet you can't even play for shit!"

"I bet he's tone deft," one of Hiyama's cronies said. "His singing would make my ears bleed!"

Aiko and Rin stared at Hiyama and his group, their eyes narrowed in disappointment and anger. It looked like they were about to come over and give them a piece of their mind before I made the first move.

I tsked and snatched my plate out of Hiyama's hand.

"Hey!" I hear him shout in outrage as I walked to Meld.

"Excuse me, Meld-san," I called out.

"Yes?" the knight in question inquired, a bit put off by my irritable expression.

"Do you know where I can find any musical instruments?" I asked.

"I think I remember seeing a guitar in the armory," he said as he held his chin.

"Why was there a guitar in the armory?"

He paused. "I have no clue. Anyway," he pointed to one of the knights he a brought with him. "You! Bring the guitar here on the double!"

"Yes, Sir!" the knight exclaimed as he ran like the Devil, wait, no, a Devil, was on his heels.

"Thank you, Meld-san," I said gratefully to the Knight Commander.

He smiled and patted me on my shoulder. "No problem, anything else I can help you with?"

"Yeah, can you get Daisuke executed?" I asked rather loudly. The majority of the class turned to stare at me. Rin gave me a disapproving look.

"What? No. If you have a problem with him, sort it out yourselves," Meld responded, scowling.

"I should have known it would be too easy," I muttered. "Welp, how about explaining magic."

"That, I am actually willing to do," he said in deadpan then took on another lecturing pose. "Magic from within the body is utilized with an aria and magic formation. The magic will then proceed through the magical formula in the magic formation to achieve the results. Unfortunately, there is no way to directly manipulate magic in its base form, so you must correctly set up the magic formation you want to use. Also, the amount of magic is directly related to how long the incantation last. All spells take a seven-inch magical formation to cast, the basic concepts are: attribute, power, range, scope, and mana usage, all of this is required, but other things such as inductivity and sustain duration can be added to create stronger magic."

I nodded in understanding. "Are there any books that can give more detailed explanations and images of what the formulas look like?"

Meld grinned and nodded, he motioned one of the mages that came along to help with training us over. The mage gave me the basic rundown on how to make magical formulas and helped me make one right then and there. It was actually kind of easy.

After the mage left, Aiko and Rin walked up to me. They still had disapproving looks on their faces.

I sighed. "Look, I'm sorry for trying to get Daisuke executed, you know how he gets on my nerves all the time."

Rin sighed. "I understand Nagumo-san, but try to keep your temper under control next time, I don't want any of you to get in trouble here."

"I know, I know. So, what classes did you two get?" I asked.

Aiko handed me her Status Plate first.

Name: Aiko Hatayama

Level: 1

Age: 25 Years Old

Gender: Female

Class: Farmer

Strength: 5

Vitality: 10

Resistance: 10

Agility: 5

Magic: 100

Magic Resistance: 10

Skills: Language Comprehension, Soil Management, Soil Restoration, Range Cultivation, Growth Stimulation, Selective Breeding, Plant Appraisal, Fertilizer Production, Mixture Development, Auto Harvest.

I gave her a blank look. "I should have never given you my copy of Friends of Mineral Town."

Aiko narrowed her eyes at me, trying to be as intimidating as possible, which only made her look cuter.

"Don't you dare try and take my precious from me." she hissed.

I patted Aiko's head. "Yes, Hatayama-sensei, I won't take your precious away from you."

Aiko pouted as she tried to swat my hand away with little success. Rin handed me her card next.

Name: Rin Suzune

Level: 1

Age: 25 Years Old

Gender: Female

Class: Kunoichi

Strength: 35

Vitality: 58

Resistance: 25

Agility: 125

Magic: 50

Magic Resistance: 22

Skills: Language Comprehension, Stealth, Sneak Attack, Acrobatics, Shadow Step, Shadow Clones, Poison Specialist, Pinpoint Accuracy, Seduction, Outfit Change, Solid Snake Box, Presence Concealment.

My brain stopped when I read her class name. "I am not surprised in the least. Also, it says here that the Seduction skill is the upgraded version of Charm, which means that your skill leveled up before we got here."

I gave her a teasing smile that made her blush and fidgets in place. She pushed her glasses up and decided that the clouds were rather interesting to her at the moment.

Both Aiko and I gave each other knowing look and were about to tease her some more when the knight that was sent to retrieve the guitar came back.

The knight nodded to me respectfully and handed me the guitar.

"Thank you kindly, Sir," I said gratefully.

"No trouble at all," he said as he went to join the other knights.

It was a basic, six-string acoustic guitar, I could work with this. I took a nearby chair and set it down over the magical formula circle, and sat down. I rolled my eyes as I heard a good portion of my classmates mocking me as I tuned the instrument to my liking.

I took a glance at Aiko and Rin. Aiko was clearly excited to see hear what I'd play since she had been at most of the concerts that Rin and I had organized. Rin, on the other hand, gave me a small smile as the light reflected off of her glasses.

"It's a good thing I memorized the song by now," I muttered as I turned my attention to my classmates. "Alright, this is a song called Fly Me to The Moon."

With Meld's and the Mage's explanation of magic, I poured my mana in the circle, making it glow blue and activated my skill Bardic Inspiration, which gives a different effect depending on the intent of the song.

Song: Fly Me to The Moon - Sungha Jung

All of the mockings stopped as soon as I began the intro of the song. My fingers gracefully slid across the fretboard as I plucked the strings with perfect timing.

I glanced at the knights, Meld looked at me in awe. Were good musicians really that rare in this world? I finally began the main melody and began singing.

Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On a, Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby, kiss me

I glanced at my classmates, they were in shock and awe just at the first verse. Yeah, that's right, the "nasty otaku," is awesome! Kouki's group was one of the biggest sources of my satisfaction right now. Kouki and Ryutarou looked like they couldn't believe their own eyes and ears.

Fill my heart with song
And let me sing forever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you

Shizuku gave me an impressed look as she bobbed her head to my voice and guitar skills. Kaori, well, she had hearts in her eyes. I'm not kidding, literal hearts, and she was blushing like no tomorrow. Holy shit, she actually has the hots for me!

Fill my heart with song
Let me sing forever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, in other words
I love you

As I ended the song I looked at my classmates, the vast majority of them looked like they had just swallowed the biggest lemon of their lives, especially Hiyama. Most of the girls had light blushes on their faces, and most of the guys gave a look of begrudging respect.

"Pretty good for a for a 'nasty otaku', eh?" I said with a condescending smile none of them were willing to meet my gaze after I spoke that.

"Nagumo," I heard Meld call out.

"Yes, Meld-san?" I asked.

He grabbed my shoulders and shook me back and forth with a beaming grin. "That was incredible! Is this the kind of music in your world!?"

I dropped the guitar and grabbed his arms to make him stop shaking me. "Calm the hell down, man! But yes, kind of, I mean I only finished making this song yesterday."

"Wait," Kouki said. "This was the song was the sheet music that you showed us on your laptop?"

That seemed to get the attention of the whole class, oh boy.

Ryutarou spoke up next. "Then does that means Nagumo has been working hard on that song for the past week!?"

I was about to answer him when Rin spoke for me instead.

"Yes, Sakagami-san, Nagumo-san has been hard at work on that piece, just as he's done with all of his other pieces," Rin explained.

"Other pieces?" Kouki asked, not being familiar with typical musical slang. "You mean Nagumo has made other songs?"

Rin's usually emotionless gaze never changed except for the slight twitch I noticed on her eyebrow.

"Yes, Amanogawa-san," Rin said, unlike everyone here I could feel the razor sharp edge of her voice. "As the sole member of the Music Club, Nagumo-san is always hard at work at making new songs and performing at our school's frequent concerts."

"Concerts?" Shizuku asked?

Rin nodded but sighed. "I'm surprised that haven't heard of them yet, our school is rather famous for them."

I started tuning out the conversation as I started playing with my new guitar. I noticed that Kaori moved rather close to me, just watching me play whatever came to mind. I played a few songs by Muse and a few others, everyone thought they were original songs. Have I mentioned how awesome it is to live in a world with an also completely different pop culture when you're making music?

Kaori kept listening to me play and sing, I think she really liked it when I played Koi no Yokushiryoku (Love Deterrence) from Metal Gear Solid V and sung the lyrics from Peace Walker.

Hiyama and his little gang decided to glare at me with some of the other students, mostly because I had Kaori's attention.

I smiled, it's like we never left our world in the first place.

Two weeks later

It was night, I was in my cabin, all of us were assigned one after the first day of training. Over the past two weeks, I had basically locked myself in the library to gain more knowledge about the world we're in. It didn't paint a very kind picture of our circumstances.

"Hajime," I heard a voice call from behind me.

"SHIT!" I yelled startled by the sudden voice and spun around quickly.

I let out a sigh of relief at the sight of Rin. The woman in question smirked at my expense.

"Jesus, Rin, you nearly gave me a heart attack," I complained. "I didn't even hear you come in."

"Sorry, just testing how good my sneaking skills are," she said in a teasing voice.

Rin would only act like this with people she was comfortable with E.I. Aiko and I. Rin and Aiko were childhood friends.

I shook my head. "Well, you came here at a good time, I've been reading up on this world's history. It's not looking out to be very good."

I saw her glance at the large pile of books on my desk. "How bad?"

I took a deep breath. "Basically, the world was created by the god Eht using some sort of ancient magic. The magic we see today is inferior to those of ancient times. The Demi-Humans, who live in Hartzena Forest, are highly discriminated against due to not having any magical power at all. And the reason why this war is being fought in the first place is that the Devils worship a different God than humans do."

Rin's irritation was expressed clearly on her face. "Tch, being made to fight in a war for such a stupid reason..."

"We've done worse in our world, much worse," I stated. "Yeah, for the most part, all of the world's races tend to keep to themselves. The Demi-Humans just want to be left in peace."

Silence permeated the room, we had all be training to get our stats up, I had little luck in that regard, my progress was abysmal. I was scared honestly, we were going to war and I had no idea how I was going to cope with that. But I was a support class, I wasn't going to be put in the front lines, so that was good.

I was brought out of my musings as I felt Rin's arm encircled me from behind, as well as her large breasts press themselves onto my back.

"Hajime~." Rin practically purred right next to my ear.

Oh boy, I haven't heard her talk like this since last Christmas.

"Y-Yeah?" I stuttered as I felt my face heat up, she knew me well enough to know just what buttons to push. This woman was not good for my heart, loved her anyway!

"We haven't seen each other in two weeks." I could see her pout in the corner of my eye, a pout that cute has no right to be on a face that sexy. "You've made me feel rather loney~."

I felt my heart race faster. "Really now, anyway I can make it up to you."

I felt her dainty fingers gently grab my chin and turn my face towards hers. I found myself lost in her beautiful, half-lidded, red eyes.

"I can think of a few ways~," she said with a suggestive smile.

Our faces slowly came closer and closer together, our lips nearly touching when…

Knock! Knock! Knock!

I hear knocking on my cabin door.

Both Rin and I look at the door as if it were Rebel scum.

"Nagumo-kun, are you still awake? It's me, Shiaraski. Can I bother you for a moment?" the two of us heard.

Immediately, the sight of Rin was replaced by a cardboard box. How did she even do that as fast as she did? I looked at the box for a few more seconds before answering.

"Yeah, sure, give me a second, I'll be right there," I said.

I walked to the door and unlocked it, allowing Kaori to come in. She happily entered the room and sat on the edge of my bed while I sat on at the table. Thank my lucky stars she didn't question the random cardboard box in the room. Kaori was wearing a snow-white negligee which looked rather good on her.

"What's on your mind?" I asked while getting out my laptop. "Is it about tomorrow, we're going into the dungeon, right?"

We were heading into the Orcus Dungeon first thing in the morning. It was a large labyrinth that consisted of one hundred levels. It's one of the Eight Great Dungeons, the lower you go, the stronger the monsters become. Still, from what Meld told me, it's a very popular place for mercenaries and adventurers. It was also a great training ground for recruits.

Kaori took a deep breath. "Yes, Nagumo-kun...I want you to stay in town."

I blinked, not fully processing what she just told me.

"What?" I finally asked.

"I-I had a nightmare," she confessed. "You kept going farther and farther away...I couldn't keep up, and then..."

I raised an eyebrow. "Then?"

She looked at me with a teary expression. "...You disappeared."

I was silent for a few seconds. "I see."

That was rather ominous to be quite frank. I should be more conscious from now on, but I need something to reassure her. If I say "It's just a dream," not only will I look like an asshole, I'll jinx myself, not to mention Kaori's one of the few people that I like in my class.

"Well, that's cause for concern, but we've got Meld supervising us through it, and not to mention that Kouki's stats and skills are broken beyond belief, seriously, he doesn't even need to use magic formulas, just the aria."

Kaori giggled at my little rant, but then looked down sadly. "Still, I'm worried."

I leaned back in my chair and gave her a small smile.

"How about this," I began getting her attention. "We'll protect each other."

Kaori looked up at me surprised. "What do you mean?"

"Shirasaki-san, I'm a Bard, you're a Healer. We've both got pretty good support classes. But as we've seen my progress in raising my stats have been, well, horrible. But you can heal me when I get injured, and I can boost you up with my Bard skills. We can both help and protect each other. I know we'll be fine if we do that, so, how about it?"

Kaori just stared at me for a few seconds before she started to smile.

"You never change, Nagumo-kun." Kaori said.

I blinked. "What?"

She laughed at my confused expression. "Nagumo, you probably think we first met in high school, but I've known you since our second year of middle school."

Wait, what!? I don't have a single memory of ever meeting her before high school. Think, brain, think! Did I ever meet her before high school?

Nope, I got nothing! Brain, you have failed me!

"It was a one-sided meeting," Kaori explained. "The first time I saw you, you seem more worried about protecting yourself instead of looking at others at the time."

Protecting myself, what does...she...mean...oh.

My eye widened as I remember what event she was talking about.

"Looks like you remember," she said while looking to the side sheepishly.

I gave a low whistle. "Yeah, it wasn't what I'd call my shining moment, but I'm just glad everything worked out in the end."

"Why did you do it?" Kaori asked.

I glanced at the box Rin was hiding in and saw it shift slightly as if she was telling me "Get on with it!", I sighed.

"Honestly, I don't know, I just acted." I shook my head and smiled in nostalgia. "That kid and his grandmother just looked so scared when that punk started harassing them, him and his group started yelling at them and they looked so terrified."

"But why didn't you do anything!? They beat, spit on you, you were bleed badly, I saw it!" Kaori yelled with tears in her eyes.

Good God, she watched through all of it!? I glance at the box again, feeling a large amount of killing intent that Kaori was oblivious to.

"I didn't do anything because they were riddled with disease!" I exclaimed comically. "That and the grandmother was calling the police, so I was stalling."

I sighed and hung my head. "Christ almighty, to think you had to see such a nasty sight."

"I-It wasn't a nasty sight." I raised my head back to Kaori, she gave me a gentle smile free from contempt and ridicule. "When I saw you like that, I thought you were strong and kind."

I gave her a confused look. "How so?"

"It's easy for strong people to solve their problems through violence. I know Kouki would have rushed in and beat those guys up," she said with a rather disappointed sigh. "But I don't think there are many people who would help others even when they're not strong. Especially someone that would be willing to endure such pain for the sake of others even when they're not strong."

Kaori started trembling. "At the time I was afraid, no, I was terrified. I just froze the moment I saw blood, I just couldn't move. I just stood there as you were being beaten. I just kept wishing that I was someone strong like Shizuku, but I stood there and did nothing!"

Kaori had actually broken down and started sobbing.

My eyes widened to their fullest.

How do I even begin to respond to that!? To have her witness something that horrible at such a young age, and she blames herself! Hell, it sounds as if she's had nightmares about it!

I had no idea what to do, but that choice was taken out of my hands as soon as it was there.

Kaori got up from my bed and walked up to me, she held the sides of my face while looking down at my face with tears streaming down her eye. She had, what I could only describe as, the most loving smile I had ever seen.

"E-Ever since that day," Kaori began. "Nagumo-kun, you are the strongest person in my heart."

She then straddled my seated form and began crying into my shoulder, gripping my shirt tightly.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." she apologized again and again.

Once again I was at a loss for words. Did it really mean that much to her to feel such guilt? Did I mean that much to her?

I hugged her gently, she froze at my touch. After a few seconds, the words finally made it out of my mouth.

"I forgive you," I said at long last.

Kaori started crying again. "Thank you."

She stopped crying after a few minutes. I wiped the tears off of her face with my hand, much to her embarrassment. We chatted for a little bit more, mostly on subjects like the music I make and the concerts that I helped organize for the school. Soon enough, Kaori returned to her own cabin.

I let out a deep sigh as I felt Rin's hands on my shoulders.

"What do I do now?" I asked the purple-haired kunoichi. "Things got so much more complicated."

"Well," Rin began, I could practically see the smile on her face even though she was behind me. "You make sure you don't go breaking the girl's heart."

That one sentence was enough to make my brain experience the blue screen of death.

"Oh my, I think I broke him," she said as I stared into nothingness, still trying to comprehend what she had said.

The next morning we were taken straight to the Orcus Dungeon.

Honestly, I expected something a bit more gloomy, not something out of Danmachi.

The entrance to the dungeon looked like the entrance to a museum, hell, it even had a reception desk for it. The person there was checking people's Status Plates before they entered the dungeon.

"Good morning, Nagumo-kun!" I heard Kaori cheerfully great me.

I turned to her and smiled. "Good morning to you too, Shirasaki-san. Come on, we should go, Meld-san is probably waiting for us."

Suddenly I started looking around the area, I felt as if someone was watching me with malicious intent. I narrowed my eyes as I followed Kaori into the dungeon.

Our dungeon crawling went as I expected it to.

Everything on the early floors was so weak that the even when Kouki slightly touched them with his sword, it killed them. We went further and further into the dungeon and nothing was able to really give us a challenge. My contributions to the party boiled down to using Bardic Inspiration in support of the others' powers and recovery where it was needed most. Meld gave me an approving look for using my abilities like that.

Though Rin was a bit distracting, especially since we were all given battle gear based on our classes before we got to the dungeon.

Rin was wearing a tight sleeveless shirt that hugged her chest like a second skin, the shirt exposed her stomach that also connects to a mask that covers her nose and mouth. Around her neck is a red triangular shaped scarf with white triangle markings and dots. She was also wearing baggy red pants with knee-length black high-top sandals, with a gray tattered cloth wrapped around her waist. Her weapons of choice were a pair of foldable fuuma shurikens, but that also begged the question of why a medieval fantasy setting had highly conspicuous ninja gear!

Not only did she look exactly like her Senran Kagura counterpart, she was also really, really hot. As I said, it was distracting. Her video game counterpart had nothing on the real deal.

As we went further in we changed shifts on who was in the front lines, swapping out people every floor or so. Meld scolded Kouki for doing some pretty stupid things without thinking, like using his OP sword beam that came close to causing a cave in.

Right now we were drinking mana potions to restore our...well mana. Stuff tasted like Sunny D, I'm calling it an Estus Flask now. PRAISE THE SUN!

I saw Kaori smile a wave at me.

I gave her a teasing smirk. "I know we promised to protect each other yesterday, but with you being so close to me all the time, don't you think people will start thinking things?"

Much to my delight, Kaori's face turned red as a tomato, she stuttered uncontrollably as she tried to find any response she could.

Once again I felt someone watching me with malicious intent.

"Why do I get the feeling something bad is going to happen," I said under my breath. "Murphy, I swear, if you answer that..."

"What's that crystal?" I heard Kaori ask.

I turned to see what she was looking at.

"It ain't a Pokemon Crystal, that's for sure," I answered gravely.

I felt Shizuku elbow me in the side lightly at my quip, though she was smirking at my reference. I see we've got a bit of a closet gamer here!

"Oh, that's a Grants Crystal." Meld explained. "It's a big one, rather rare."

"That's..." I pretended to stumble back. "...what she sai-"

Rin's palm slammed the back of my head and I actually did fall this time. I stood up and dusted myself off, grinning.

"You know I regret nothing, right?" I said, still grinning.

Rin sighed. "At least you're honest."

Meld rolled his eyes but smiled anyway. "It doesn't have any special properties, but it shines beautifully, so it's pretty popular among nobles."

"It's lovely," Kaori said as she stared at the crystal, blushing slightly.

"In that case, I'll get it for you." I heard Hiyama say smugly.

I shook my head as he started climbing up the rocky wall. He was going to make an ass of himself and I wasn't going to feel sorry.

"Fool!" Meld shouted. "Don't act on your own!"

"Calm down, it's not even that high," Hiyama said, climbing despite the warning.

"That's not it! Get down this instant!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatevs. It's just a stone." Hiyama scoffed.

"I told you all before that this dungeon could have dangerous traps in it!" Meld reminded.

"Tch, noisy old coward," Hiyama said as he grabbed the crystal. "See, easy peasy."

I felt a sense of foreboding as the crystal sparked with black electricity.

Oh no, it is time to prepare and batten down the hatches for troubled circumstances.

Suddenly a magic circle similar to the one that summoned us to this world appeared underneath our feet.

"IT'S A TRAP!" Meld shouted at the top of his lungs. "LET GO OF THE STONE RIGHT NOW!"

In a flash of white light, we were all transported to a huge stone bridge. A black magic circle appeared in the middle of the bridge.

A large beast ripped itself out of the black circle. It towered over all of us, it was a purple, canine-esque creature with bull-like horns and a flowing mane.

Behind us, another black magic circle appeared, out of it came many skeletal warriors that wouldn't be out of place in a Dark Souls game.

"Oh fuck this!" I yelled.

"And that's what happened," I said to the person in front of me.

The person in front of me was a small girl, tiny really. She had long snow-white hair with pointed ears sticking out of her snowy locks, and pale-blue eyes. One her head were two stubby grey horns. She had moon-pale skin and wore a black and blue sundress with detached sleeves. Below her neck was tied a large, white ribbon, she wore blue leggings that stopped halfway up her thighs and wore black shoes. A thin blue tail that ended in a spade tip came from under her dress.

"So, let me get this straight." the demonic loli said in a high pitched, cutesy tone. "You're from another world, and a reincarnation after you got killed by a falling piano?"

"Yes," I answered.

"Your class was summoned to this world to help fight off the Devils and win this world's current war?"

"This is correct,"

"And just earlier, one of your classmates launched a fireball at you, which sent you down here?"

"I swear I'm going to kill that bastard if I ever get out of here alive!"

"And after you survived the fall you got both of your arms cut off by a demonic bear monster with wind claw abilities, and just before I pulled you into this seal you were about to your jugular ripped out by some electric wolf thing."

I gave a somber look at the stumps that used to be my arms.

"Eyup," I said emotionlessly.

The demonic girl gave me a slightly pitiful look. "You have the shittiest luck I have ever heard of."

I hung my head. "I know,"

The two of us weren't technically in the dungeon anymore, as I was blacking out from blood loss, my mind was taken into this realm after my blood came in contact with some ancient sigils on the ground. What we were in could only be described as a black void.

"I can save you." the demonic girl offered.

My head snapped up, and I stared at her with wide eyes.

"I can give you your arms back," she said. "I can make you strong enough to kill anything in this dungeon."

I sighed and looked down at the void in self-loathing.

"What's the point?" I asked her, she looked confused but I quickly explained myself. "You're a demon right?"

She gave me a strained smile. "I'm a goddess."

"My apologies, but you're sealed here for a reason," I said. "Now, I don't know what that reason is, but it ain't something good. Even if I do accept your offer, what guarantee do I have that you won't just screw me over in the end? What guarantee do I have that I'll even have control over these arms that you're offering me? What guarantee do I have that you won't just possess my body?"

The, I was still trying to come to terms with it, goddess, gave me a rather impressed smile.

"You're a smart boy," she said patting my cheek.

"Well, Mama raised no fool."

She snorted. "I like you,"

I raised an eyebrow. "Do you now?"

She began pacing back and forth. "Listen, I wasn't lying when I said I could save you."

"But…?"

"It's going to require a contract."

"There it is," I said disappointedly. "What are the terms?"

"You will be under my complete servitude, your body, mind, and soul will all belong to me. You will not be my slave, but my equal, we will treat each other respect," she stated. "Worry not, you won't be some mindless puppet, this contract wouldn't serve much purpose if you were just some subservient 'yes man'. In return, you will have my full power at your disposal, and I will not be able to lie to you in any way, shape or form. Lastly, you will receive a form of immortality, as long as I draw breath, you can't die."

I sighed, I was going under her complete servitude, and yet we were equals. It was the dumbest paradox I had ever heard of. Maybe it was more along the lines of that she can do whatever she wants to me, but won't. She was most likely trying to gain my trust.

This was probably as good as the deal got.

"Anything else I should know?" I asked.

"The contract links our souls together, with this, the stronger you get, the stronger I get." she sighed. "You see, I'm not as powerful as I use to be. Ever since I was sealed here my power has been diminishing."

I see, so I'm here as a way of gaining power.

"One more thing." the loli goddess said. "To fully complete the contract you have to do two things, tell me your true name, and pass a little test for me."

"Test?" I asked.

"Yes, a little test. I'm a goddess after all, even if the only way I can get out of here is by making a contact with a human begin, I still have my pride, not just anyone will do."

"And what if I fail this test?"

She stopped pacing and turned to me, the girl gave me a rather malicious smile. "I'll kill you."

I sighed once more as I thought things over, honestly, I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.

"I'm all in," I said. "So, what's this test of yours?"

"Up-up-up," she said wagging her finger side to side. "You need to complete the first part of the contract before we move onto the test. What's your name?"

"Hajime Nagumo," I said.

The girl frowned and gave me a disappointed sigh. "No, I mean your first name, your real name."

I stared at her for a few seconds. "Zachary Mohammed."

She gave me a beaming grin, at a glance, one may think of it as an innocent child-like grin. I, on the other hand, looked right at her, her grin was crooked, twisted. Who knows just how long she's been here in isolation? Goddess or not, it must have taken a toll on her mental state.

I am so regretting this decision.

"My name is Astaroth," she said.

I felt a slight burning sensation in my chest.

"Ow, what was that?" I asked.

"Oh, I just carved a sigil into your heart," Astaroth said nonchalantly.

I blinked. "What?"

"Don't worry, it just shows that you've agreed to the contract," Astaroth explained. "Now, onto the test."

She snapped her fingers, a blue and black flame bloomed into existence right next to her.

I was mesmerized by the flame, it was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. It seemed to radiate a calming presence, Astaroth was most likely responsible for that since any one's natural response to fire appearing out of nowhere would be to panic.

Astaroth reached into the flames and pulled out a blue acoustic guitar with archaic runes around the edges.

"Show me what you can do," she demanded.

I was silent for about a minute, glancing at the stubs that were once my arms every few seconds.

"T-That going to be a little hard since I don't have my arms anymore," I stated.

"Ah, I forgot about that, let me fix that." Astaroth snapped her fingers once again.

I raised an eyebrow as nothing happened for a few seconds.

"Is something going to happen or - CHRIST FLINGING KIDNEY STONES!" I shouted as blue and black flames engulfed my shoulders.

Almost immediately the flames condensed and took on the form of human arms. I looked at the arms in wonder, they were still made of flames but molded just like human arms.

Can I move them?

I moved both of the arms forwards, towards the guitar. I could move them alright. I grabbed the guitar with these odd arms. I could feel the sensation of the hard, smooth, wood, and strings on the fingers.

"Those are just temporary," my head snapped up to Astaroth. "It's a quick solution for your predicament as of right now. You'll get the real arms after you pass my test."

I nodded in understanding.

"Well then," I strummed the guitar, I frowned, it wasn't tuned right. "Give me a second, I've got to tune this."

I was too distracted with tuning the guitar to see the wide-eyed, astounded look Astaroth gave me.

"So," I began. "Have other people taken this test. Or am I the first?"

"U-Um, no, you're not the first," I chose to ignore her stutter. "You're number one thousand and six."

I gave a low whistle. "And they all failed?"

"Yes," Astaroth answered, she seemed distracted.

"How long have you been in here?" I asked.

"About two or so thousand years," she admitted. "You're the first person I've seen in a dozen centuries."

I stopped what I was doing and looked at her with a horrified expression. That was far too long for anyone to be in isolation.

"Girl, you need a hug," I stated, I spread my right arm out. "Get over here."

She looked at me blankly. "We can discuss this when you're done. Speaking of, are you done yet?"

"Give me a minute," I said as I tested out all of the strings, I nodded once satisfied with my tuning. "Let's get started."

I took a deep breath.

Song: When You Were Young - The Killers, acoustic cover by Christopher Reyne

I began the instrumental intro, each time my hand came down to play a chord a blue streak of fire could be seen. I didn't pay attention to Astaroth's reaction while I played, I was just focusing on doing the best I could as it would quite literally mean life or death for me.

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch him now, here he comes

I was starting to get into it after the first verse. The streaks of fire that were made as I moved my hand up and down the fretboard and as I played each chord were incredibly cool to me.

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined when you were young

Can we climb this mountain? I don't know
Higher now than ever before
I know we can make it if we take it slow
Let's take it easy, easy now, watch it go

We're burnin' down the highway skyline
On the back of a hurricane that started turning
When you were young
When you were young

Honestly, it had been a while since I had played this song, but it was the only one I could think to play right now, just seemed appropriate.

And sometimes you close your eyes
And see the place where you used to live
When you were young

They say the Devil's water, it ain't so sweet
You don't have to drink right now
But you can dip your feet
Every once in a little while

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch him now, here he comes

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined when you were young
When you were young

I said he doesn't look a thing like Jesus
He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But more than you'll ever know

I took a deep breath as I finished. Welp, I'm either going to die or pass with flying colors. I really don't want to die.

"So," I began hesitantly. "How'd I do?"

I stared at Astaroth, much to my surprise, she looked at me, eyes widened in shock and her jaw dropped to whatever the hell this void considered the ground.

I looked to the sides awkwardly after a few seconds of silence, there had been many few seconds of silence as of late, all rather awkward. This one took the cake though.

"You passed after the first chord," Astaroth stated.

I blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Honestly, I would have taken you after finding out you knew how to tune."

"What!?" I asked in shock.

"I'll be straight with you," she began "You're literally the only person in over two thousand years that I've known that can use an instrument properly. Much less know how to tune, play, or even perform simple chords, much less sing!"

Wow, that is fucking pathetic. "Out of curiosity, who was the best musician you've met?"

"Well," Astaroth crossed her arms "Before that arrogant prick, Ehito, sealed me, I was working with the original leader of the Devils."

"Oh, this is going to be interesting," I said in amused participation.

"I helped him out because his ambitions seemed interesting and entertaining," Astaroth admitted before frowning. "Samael, in terms of musical talent, was fucking horrendous."

"Was he that bad?"

Astaroth took then guitar out of my hands and plucked one of the strings. The open high E string.

"That was the best he could do," she stated blandly. "At the very least he could pluck the strings correctly, that was it."

I took a deep breath and exhaled. "He could only pluck one string, what a man."

"And that is why I will never make a contract with someone out of the goodness of my heart ever again."

"So, now what?" I asked.

"Well, now you'll back out of the seal with me tagging along, breaking it." she crossed her arms. "Also, that wolf just got finished ripping out your jugular and is currently getting into position to teabag you."

"Ex-fucking-scuse me!?" I shouted in shock.

"You may be excused. Right after I instruct you as to what you must do next, that is," Astaroth explained. "Clench your right hand as hard as you can and swing it at the wolf, got it?"

"This is going to hurt like a bitch, isn't it?"

Astaroth gave me a wry smile. "Yeah. Well, at least I get to enjoy it."

I gulped. "Can we get this over with already?"

With a snap of her fingers, I felt excruciating pain from my neck, without hesitation I clenched my right hand and swung it at the electric wolf. I heard a slicing sound echo through the air as the wolf got bisected.

I dropped whatever was in my right hand as I couldn't stand that pain any longer. Both my hands reached up to my neck which was currently shredded like mincemeat. I twitched on the floor, desperately trying to soothe the pain, or even trying to breathe. Though try as I might, I couldn't breathe at all, which was to be expected since I didn't have a throat anymore. Tears fell from my eyes; I couldn't handle the sheer amount of agony I was experiencing.

Then the pain gradually started to fade as the cold air that I felt on the inside of my neck went away. Instead of feeling eviscerated skin and flesh, I felt my whole neck just the way it had always been. I tried breathing but ended up coughing up quite a bit of blood, then started vomiting.

I took notice that I had my arms back, they were human arms and not some mutated mess, so that was good.

I wiped the bile from my mouth.

"Let's never do that again."

"No promises," Astaroth's voice echoed, it sounded slightly distorted.

"Huh?" I said dumbly as I looked around. "Astaroth, where are you?"

"On the floor, over here."

I turned my head to where the dead electric wolf lay, and on the floor near it was a large, unwieldy black and blue scythe.

"You're a scythe?" I asked. "That's pretty dope."

"Um, thanks, I guess?" she asked unsurely.

I got up from the bloodstained ground rather clumsily. I picked up the scythe and leaned on the stone wall, I put a hand to my neck.

"S-So, you're a goddess, right?" I asked, trying to take my mind off of what just happened. "What do you govern over in the world?"

"Joy, I govern over joy," she answered. "But enough small talk, sit down and relax, you've been through enough today already."

I nodded. "Yeah, that sounds good right about now."

I sat down with my back against the wall, every so often I felt my neck just to make sure it was there. I was mentally and physically exhausted.

"Hajime?" I heard Astaroth ask.

"Yeah?" I noticed I was gripping the scythe in my hands in a death grip, it was my only means of defending myself, and I was paranoid as fuck right now.

"I was wondering if I could look through your memories in order to know how the world outside has developed and to know more about yourself."

"Sure, go for it," I answered. "Just don't go fucking with my head."

I barely reacted as a small, blue fireball coming from the scythe hit the side of my head. It didn't harm me at all, just moved my head to the right slightly. My head did feel a little funny though.

I sighed and tried to get into a more comfortable position, but the thing about caves were that rocks weren't exactly comfortable in the first place.

"How to fuck are you going to get out of this one, Hajime?" I asked myself, not really knowing to answer at all.

After a few more minutes of coming to terms with my current situation. Simply put, it sucked.

"Alright, time to rock and roll," I said to myself as I got up.

If I was going to have any chance of getting the hell out of this mess, I needed to survey the area. But this entailed possibly encountering one of this floor's monsters and getting my throat ripped out along with my arms...again. I was already regretting this.

I slowly began creeping around the dungeon, nearly every sound making me jump, but with good reason. Along the way I encounter another type of monster, it was some kind of hideous parody of a rabbit. White fur with red glowing veins across its body, mostly along its hideous legs that were far too big for its own body.

The damn thing moved way too fucking fast! Its kicks were strong enough to straight up shatter stone, so you can imagine that when it hit me in my legs that not only did it hurt like a motherfucker, but my leg got amputated...all the way to the other side of the fucking cave. After my leg came my left arm.

The rabbit slowly approached my downed form with mocking eyes. It was too fast for me to hit with my scythe, so it was all too easy for it to systematically cut me apart. In a direct fight, I had no chance.

I slashed my scythe as hard and fast as I could when the rabbit got into range. Its upper half fell to the ground, profusely spilling blood everywhere.

I gave a pained smirk. Sneak attacks, a man's best friend. A few seconds later, my arm and leg regenerated. I walked over to my old leg and removed the shoe from its foot and put it on.

My little walk took me all the way to where I first woke up when I fell down here. A small river that I floated down. I took a handful of water and gulped it down greedily. My newly formed throat felt rather dry.

I looked at my reflection in the water, the crystals the littered the walls of the floor illuminating the area.

I looked as if I was a horror movie victim. I was practically covered in blood and so was my clothes. Speaking of clothes, while the rest of my class tricked out in sweet fantasy gear, I got nothing because they didn't have any armor augmented for Bards, so I was stuck with my school uniform, which now currently in tatters.

Suddenly, the scythe in my hands burst into black and blue flames.

"Shit!" I yelled in panic as I threw the weapon away from me.

"Now, now, no need to get so jumpy, Zachary." I heard Astaroth's voice from the flames, the flames transformed into the aforementioned loli goddess, her voice no longer distorted. "Though, your panic was rather amusing."

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair as I calmed down. "Jesus, Astaroth, you nearly gave me a heart attack."

She giggled at my complaint.

"So, did you have fun looking through my memories?" I asked, my voice sharper than I intended it to be, the stress was getting to me.

"I did in fact, your world is rather fascinating, both of them," she said, but then a red hue and lecherous grin made its way onto her face. "But who would have guessed that you would have been into such deprived interest."

To which I replayed: "Don't kink-shame me!"

"I'm not, I'm kink praising."

I deadpanned. "I'm not sure if I should feel overjoyed, or sad that I'm not unique, other than that, don't praise my kinks until you go through puberty and actually get some tits."

"McScuse me, bitch?" I saw a blur of motion and in an instant, I felt something rip through my chest. Once my vision cleared, I noticed I was on the ground and her eyes were level with mine. Her hand was inside my chest cavity

"I… regret," I coughed up some blood. She smiled when she thought I was about to stop talking, but gave a shit-eating grin. "NOTHING!"

She closed her hand slowly.

I yelled accordingly, "aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MOTHERFUCKER"

"You gonna apologize?"

"We're too far into this and I'm too stoopid!...You goddamn granny loli."

She then completely closed her hand.

"Argh! Fuck!" I shouted at the pain of having my heart literally crushed. "Why do I have to be immortal again!?"

"Because neither of us likes how mortals die when they're killed. And also so that I can do this without consequences!"

My eyes widened in horror. "Interdimensional Space Christ, YOU KNOW THE MEMES!"

One week later.

She finally got her filthy, jailbait hand out of my chest. And it only took three damn days of bickering! Surprisingly enough, Astaroth and I get along quite well. This, unfortunately, didn't do anything for my growing hunger the past week. Immortal or not, I was still human, and humans such as I am cursed to hunger...I could go for a pizza right about now.

"Zachary," I heard Astaroth's voice next to me as the two of us sat near the river as usual. "You can't keep doing this, you're going to need to go deeper into the dungeon, and you're going to have to eat something."

"I can't eat anything here," I stated. "There are no plants, only rocks, that and demon meat is poisonous to humans."

"Well, what are you going to do then!?" Astaroth shouted. "You refused to go deeper into the dungeon and if you keep starving yourself you won't be able to even move your body anymore!"

I grit my teeth in anger, I couldn't find a way out or at the very least, up. All I found was a way down, deeper in this God-forsaken place. Honestly, I was just too damn scared to actually go deeper. Who knows what's on the next floor!?

But Goddammit, after a week of drinking nothing but water I'm at my wits end!

I slammed fist on the ground out of frustration. "I'm so hungry, I could eat a demon!"

"Will you?" Astaroth asked.

"Uhhhh…"

One agonizing fight later…

Jesus fuck that took too long. But after many lost limbs, two, it's fucking dead! GOTCHA, BITCH!

Praise the sun that I last saw a week ago!

Laying dead before me was a white-furred bear with absurdly large claws. This was the very same bear that had cut off both of my arms when I first got to this floor.

"Hey, nice job. You know that was actually the hardest monster on this floor," Astaroth said casually, she was in her scythe form.

I blinked. "...What?"

"Yeah, it's twice as powerful as the next one down in the hierarchy."

"Why… didn't you tell me that… before I lost my legs?"

"Hey, not my fault it was there when you turned the corner. Once you aggro that thing, it's not leaving you alone."

I let out a good long sigh and then started the process of digging my legs out of it. It had swallowed them. My legs had already regenerated, but with all the nasty pebbles down here the shoes were worth their weight in gold.

How I killed the damn thing wasn't all that impressive, more luck than anything. Long story short, it decided to munch on one of my amputated legs and started choking on it. It got a scythe blade through its head for its troubles.

I glared at the bear and used Astaroth to slice its neck in vengeance. What? I'm petty, that and spending a week in literal Hell will make you pretty damn spiteful. With a quick swing of the scythe, I cut off the bear's arm and began skinning it, blood covering me once again.

"Now, how the hell am I going to cook this?" I asked no one in particular.

"I got you, fam." Astaroth turned back into her loli form. "This fire ain't just for show."

She took the skinned arm from my hands, not at all minding the blood that got on her, in fact, I think she smiled as the blood covered her hands.

Great job, me, you sold your immortal soul to a psychopathic, demon, loli, goddess! What wonderful life choices I've made this past week. The only reason I was still alive at this point was that I wanted to pimp-slap the ever-loving fuck out of Daisuke. Ohohoho, the things I am going to do to him…I'll start by making everyone turn their backs on him and shun him just by coming out of here alive, and I'll-

"Done!"

"Nani!?" I shouted as I was brought out of my monologuing.

I stared at Astaroth giving me an amused expression as she held out the skinned arm which was now a well cooked brown and smoking.

"Thank you, Astaroth," I said as I took the freshly cooked arm out of her hands.

"Your welcome, now eat, we need to move on from the floor already," she stated.

I nodded and then blew on the smoking arm. I bit a chunk out of it and then immediately spit it out.

"Ah, fucking hell," I yelled. "It tastes like it came with a side of ruble and demon's foot, disgusting!"

I cringed as the taste of the arm lingered in my mouth. I sucked it up, fuck it, beggars can't be choosers.

I ripped another chunk out of the well-cooked arm and ate it despite wanting to throw up several times. I ate a few more chunks before I finally stopped.

Wow, despite that God awful taste, that was pretty damn satisfying. I'm not hungry anymore, but I could go for some mor-

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" I crumbled to the ground in pain.

My body, everything hurts so damn much! Everything feels like its tearing apart! I can feel my skin, muscles, bones, nerves, breaking an ripping themselves apart. Oh God, make it stop! The pain, it's too intense! As my body spasmed on the ground and I screamed my head off, I could barely make out Astaroth calling out my name.

Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop!

Then I knew only darkness.

I didn't know how much time had passed, but eventually, I woke up.

"Ugh," I groaned as I held my head in pain. "What four-ounce bottle of demonic wine did I drink yesterday."

"You didn't drink any wine, but at least you're not screaming anymore." I heard Astaroth say.

"Huh?" my head was in Astaroth's lap, she smiled down at me as she ran her hand through my hair. "What happened?"

"I think you might want to see for yourself," she said, I could hear the slight worry in her voice.

BGM: Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood OST - Crime and Punishment

I sat up and noticed we were back by the river again. I walked over the river, my eyes widened as I saw my reflection in the water. My black hair had turned snow-white and my eyes had turned blood-red, red, tattoo-like veins ran across my body. My previously skinny, rather unassuming body had put on quite a bit of muscle.

I put my hand up to my face and traced one of the red veins. "W-What is this?"

I felt a hand on my back, I didn't need to look back to know it was Astaroth.

"While you were unconscious, I took a did a checkup of your body." she was silent for a few seconds. "You're no longer human anymore."

I was silent, I made no outward expression, completely emotionless.

I had lost my life once before, and now I might as well have lost it twice. I'll most likely never see either of my families ever again. My classmates betrayed me and left me for dead and the two girls that care about me no doubt think I'm dead. I sold my soul to a demonic goddess that I'm not too sure may keep her end of the bargain, my life isn't even my own to lose anymore. I've been starved for a week and been put through more pain than any man should ever have to experience.

And after everything else, I finally lose one of the only things that I can call "mine".

I lost my humanity.

CRACK!

It was a sound that only I could hear, but I had a suspicion that Astaroth could hear it too.

"Ah..." I sounded as the weight of my losses crashed down onto me. "he...hehehehe...hahahahaHAHAHAHAheheeheeehe...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I felt tears stream down my face as I laughed hysterically at it all. I couldn't tell if something in me broke or if something clicked into place, but it was just so fucking pathetic and hilarious now that I've finally realized it.

Life was the most horrible, cruel, sadistic joke, and I was the punchline.

I fell to my knees still staring at my reflection in the water as I laughed and sobbed at the same time, my tears causing ripples in the water. I just couldn't stop laughing.

After some time I just stopped and just stared at my reflection, I'm not sure how long I just stayed there, staring.

I felt Astaroth grab my hand gently, I turned to look at her. I gazed at her, my face completely emotionless and devoid of life, I didn't bother wiping away my tears. I must look like shit right now, but I just can't be bothered to care.

She looked at me with a rather somber gaze. She hugged me, I didn't expect it, but I didn't react to it either. The world was dead to me right now.

"I'm still hungry," I said, honestly, I was.

Astaroth pulled back and gave me a sad smile. "Come on, there's a lot more of the bear left."

BGM END

I stared at my Status Plate with a curious gaze. "What the fresh fuck?"

Name: Hajime Nagumo

Level: 35

Age: 17 Years Old

Gender: Male

Class: Bard

Strength: 300

Vitality: 450

Resistance: 200

Agility: 250

Magic: 600

Magic Resistance: 420

Skills: Language Comprehension, Bardic Inspiration, Song of Rest, War Song Strike, Vicious Mockery, Iron Stomach, Air Claws.

"Huh?" I noticed Astaroth looking over my side. "I knew I felt you and I grow much stronger after you ate the bear, but this is ridiculous."

"Hell, I think I even gained its abilities," I added.

Gaining abilities was good I guess. If I got more, I could get out of here faster, the faster I got out, the faster I get to kill Daisuke.

"Eating demons not only gives you better stat boost and levels but gives you certain skills from the demons you've eaten." Astaroth gave me a teasing looking. "You ready to abuse this?"

I sighed and stood up, looking blankly ahead. "Oh maliciously."

Astaroth burst into black and blue flames, the flames quickly moved to my hands, forming a scythe, like usual.

Soon enough I came across one of the electric wolves. I tried using the Air Claws skill with the scythe, and I got some rather good results. The wolf was cut in half before it even got the chance to retaliate, which was good since I'd usually lose a limb before doing any substantial damage to them.

I cut off one of its legs and skinned it, Astaroth cooked it for me and I thanked her for it. Hesitantly, I took a bite out of the leg. It was just a disgusting as the bear's, but thankfully there was no agonizing pain. I felt power coursing through my body though.

I took out my Status Plate and found out that not only had my stats increased again, but I had gained a skill called Lighting Clad. The skill allowed me to produce red lighting around my body, but I couldn't shoot it like a projectile.

"Let's try something different," Astaroth said as her scythe form bursts into flames and rematerialized into what appeared to be a demonic electric guitar. "Try using Lighting Clad on me while playing."

Nodded as I decided to play the iconic riff from Plug in Baby by Muse. The red electricity around me turned blue as it came in contact with Astaroth, and each note I played caused electricity to be produced by my body in extreme amounts. I ended by playing a loud chord. The end result was a huge ball of blue electricity being shot out of the guitar and into a wall, causing the stone in came in contact with to explode.

"I can tell we're going to have some fun with this," Astaroth said, I could practically see the bloodthirsty smile on her face.

Despite everything that had happened, I found myself smiling as well, I agreed with Astaroth, this was going to be very fun.

"Into the Dungeon, featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry series." I quipped as I moved on.

My next and last test subject was the rabbit demon. When I encounter one I played a simple tone instead of something too fancy so the damn thing didn't explode on impact. A much smaller ball of blue electricity flew out of the guitar at high speeds, hitting the rabbit. I looked at it blankly as it squealed in pain as it was being electrocuted to death.

Once again I cut off a leg and let Astaroth cook it. I frowned as I took a bite, same disgusting taste, but the meat was a good bit more tender.

My stats increased once more and I gained another skill, Air Walk, the skill allowed me to gain footing mid-air and use it to move faster.

"Well, that's the last type of demon here, let's move on," I said as I walked towards the exit of this floor.

"About time," Astaroth whined. "Let's get the hell out of here."

I looked down the exit, it was a downward spiraling staircase with Astaroth in her scythe form over my shoulder. I could only see a few meters into the staircase, after that, I only saw darkness, like a void, or an abyss.

A void or abyss, huh? Is that what this place is?

"Pfft!" I found myself having a small laugh at the names.

Such overly edgy and tacky names. I like 'em!

"Astaroth, does this place have an end?" I asked the demonic goddess.

In a burst of black and blue flames she rematerialized back into her loli form, but this time I noticed that she had grown at least an inch in height. She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at the exit.

"No clue, inside that seal I had no awareness of the outside world, your guess is a good as mine," she admitted.

I sighed. "Fucking hell, no reason complaining about it now, we never had a choice about how we got out in the first place."

I took a deep breath and stared down the exit one more time. I bit my bottom lip as fear nearly took hold of my body as I thought about just what horrors awaited me.

I took one step and then another, each one just as mechanical as the other.

I smirked despite my lingering fear as the perfect name for this place came to me.

"Down The Rabbit Hole we go!" I exclaimed as I plunged myself further into darkness.

Chapter End

For those dissatisfied by the song choice, I'm saving the good shit for later.

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