It all started with a typical perverted comment from Jesse. He said it, but my eyes had immediately found Dimitri.

I had lost almost all interest in him when Dimitri had caught us fooling around. My true dislike for him began when he, along with Ralph and Mia had spread rumors about me. While Mia and I had since become cordial, I couldn't say the same for Jesse.

We were in one of the few classes that both Morois and novice Dhampir students took together. At the end of the lesson, he approached me, obviously ignoring the look of disgust on my face.

"Hey Rose," he said smoothly in a tone that used to make me swoon, but now only added to the things I hated about him.

"What do you want?"

"Ouch, so cold. I think I know what it is you need." I only stared him, waiting for him to finish so I could go on my way. "Me and you, after class, in the common room except this time, lets hope we don't get interrupted."

"No." I tried to pass him, but he blocked my way. Dimitri who had been guarding this class, made a move towards us, but I stopped him with my hand.

"Come on Rose, don't be like that. Who are you going to to take care of you? You know I'm the best here."

I wanted to laugh in his face, but figured that wouldn't be the best way to get out of this conversation quickly.

"No one and I don't need anyone taking care of me." I finally pushed past him only to pause in step when I heard him laughing behind me.

"Oh, I get it now. You're taking care of yourself." He said it loudly putting an emphasis on his words so everyone understood what he meant.

Jesse had said a lot worse to me, but unbeknownst to him and everyone else, this was a sensitive subject to me.

Just a few weeks ago, I was stupid enough to not only get drunk on school premises, but have Dimitri be the one to find me. Parts of our conversation from that night were hazy, but the thing I remembered with extreme clarity was what I revealed to Dimitri; that I touched myself to the thought of him.

Which was why when those words left Jesse's mouth, my eyes immediately snapped up to meet Dimitri's. He was staring at me intently, his guardian mask slipping briefly, allowing me to see the look of want on his face. He quickly put the mask back on, but I saw it. I saw the look he gave me. He remembered our conversation just as clearly as I did.

The second bell rang, alerting me I was already late to my next class.

All day I thought about the look Dimitri gave me. During practice after school, he pointedly avoided contact with me, instead making me do individual workouts like running and weight lifting.

As soon our training was over, he immediately dismissed me and disappeared into the boy's locker room.

I thought about following him in there, but didn't want to piss him. Instead, I pathetically made my way back to my own room, thinking about Dimitri the whole time. After that night I got drunk, I was sure Dimitri and I would never bring up the conversation we had. I was embarrassed at what I revealed and I'm sure he felt the same way.

But the look he gave me made me want to confront Dimitri about it. The way he looked at me, even as briefly as he had, made a slow passionate burn take root in between my legs.

When I got into bed, the need for him only increased and I dragged my hand into my shorts, surprised to feel the warm wetness that touched my fingers.

"Oh yes," I gasped, closing my eyes and picturing Dimitri, as I always did. Except I wanted the real him this time, not the fantasies I conjured up in my head. I took my hand out of shorts and stared at my ceiling, wondering if I should do what I have been dying to do since the night we revealed this secret to one another.

Taking a deep breath, I made my decision.

I pushed back my blanket, threw a hoodie over my clothes to protect me from me from the cold, and allowed my feet to take me where I had wanted to go since the night of the lust charm.

I had become a pro at dodging guardians and teachers, and sneaking in and out of buildings. The only one who could catch me was Dimitri and he was the one I was going to see.

I reached his door in record time. I didn't allow myself to question myself in fear that I would overthink this and chicken out, so taking a deep breath, I knocked on his door.

I heard the bed squeaking and a moment later, Dimitri opened the door, dressed for bed.

He took one look at me, closed his eyes, and quietly groaned. "Fuck Rose." I hope he did.

Not waiting for an invitation, I brushed past him and walked into his room. "You were expecting me." I told him, rather than ask. He didn't seem surprised to see me behind the door. Annoyed yes, but not surprised.

Ignoring my question, he asked his own. "What are you doing here?"

"You know why I'm here," I told him, crossing my arms across my chest. He squeezed the bridge of nose, exhaling deeply.

"No I don't and frankly I shouldn't even care to ask. Go back to your room."

"No, I want to talk about today."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Dammit Rose," he said quietly, but with enough anger behind it to make me flinch. His eyes immediately softened at my reaction but his tone was enough to make me lose all of the confidence I had felt when I came in here. Blushing, I looked everywhere, but in his eyes.

"I just thought…when you looked at me today," I trailed off and bit the inside of my cheek, unable to explain and feeling a load of embarrassment for coming to his room like this. "You're right I shouldn't be here. I'm sorry, I'll go." I brushed past him quickly and opened the door, only for it slam shut as Dimitri's hand quickly made contact with the wood. I jumped at how quickly he was able to beat me to the door, but that feeling was quickly overridden as I felt the heat of his body directly behind mine. My breathing picked up as I slowly turned around, his hand still placed next to my head from where he closed the door. I looked down at my feet, feeling a sense nervousness I rarely felt around anyone, but him.

Dimitri put his other hand on the door as well, caging me in between his powerful arms and making me feel even smaller.

I closed my eyes, feeling overwhelmed with the scent of his aftershave and heat of his body against mine.

I felt him dip his head low, his warm breath hitting my cheek, slowly moving towards my ear. I closed my eyes, my breathing picking up so rapidly, I wouldn't be surprised if he heard how hard my heart was beating.

I felt Dimitri's soft lips brush against the shell of my ear and felt my breath hitch at the small contact of his skin against my own.

"Look at me Roza," he whispered, his voice sounding rough and husky, despite how quietly he spoke. "Open your eyes and look at me."

I leaned my head back against his door, and slowly opened my eyes to find Dimitri already staring at me. He was a lot closer than I thought he would be, his warm brown eyes darker than when I came here.

"Why do you always do this to me?" he scrunched his eyebrows in confusion at my question. "Make me feel like I imagine things between us, as if this is all one-sided."

I frowned deeply, feeling wounded at how quickly Dimitri could make me feel so badly about what I felt for him.

He moved his arms away, his eyes shining with a new emotion- guilt.

"I don't mean to-,"

"But you do, all of the time," I turned to leave, but his hand grabbed my arm and stopped. "When Jesse said that today, you looked at me. The look you gave me…I know you remember."

The night Dimitri found me drunk along with Lissa in Adrian's room, he had taken me back to my room in hopes of scolding me, but instead my liquid courage had caused both of us to share rather intimate secrets to one another.

Secrets about how we touched ourselves to the thought of each other. The next morning, I was incredibly hungover and embarrassed beyond belief for admitting to Dimitri that I masturbated to the thought of him. Even though I vaguely remembered he had admitted the same thing to me, I didn't have the same courage to bring it up.

Until tonight. And I wouldn't leave until we talked about it.

"Please Dimitri," I whispered and his eyes instantly softened.

"Every single day, it takes every ounce of self control I have not to do what I am can only dream of doing, which is making you mine. If I have this conversation with you right now, I don't know if I'll be able to keep myself away from you."

"Then don't! I saw the look you gave me when Jesse said that. I know you were thinking about that night too."

Dimitri looked at me for a moment longer than nodded his head.

"I think about it all the time. I think about it every single time I see you."

"You do?" I asked, surprised.

"Roza how could I forget you telling me you touch yourself to the thought of me." I felt myself heat up at Dimitri's words.

"You told me the same thing." I moved away from the door and stepped closer to Dimitri, craving the heat I felt from being close to him. "Have you still been touching yourself while thinking about me?"

Dimitri gulped, his hands clenching at his sides.

"Yes." He whispered. "Have you been touching yourself while thinking of me?"

"Every night," I admitted truthfully.

"Fuck Roza." He muttered what I could only assume were some curses in Russian.

"I don't know how I was able to control myself after the lust charm. And then again after I told you how I really felt about you in the gym. But that conversation we had," he trailed off and swallowed deeply. "That conversation and what you revealed to me is etched into my mind. I can't forget even if I tried." He released a deep breath, laced with frustration and exhaustion, and dropped himself into the chair at his desk. "Every night, I get into bed hoping it'll be different, but its not. You're all I see when I close my eyes and you're all I want to see when I open them."

I stood there, looking at him. So now it was out in the open, and I understood clearly why Dimitri wanted to ignore this conversation.
It was one thing revealing this while I was drunk. It was another thing entirely being fully conscious and sober. Every time Dimitri and I take our relationship a step further, it makes it harder and harder to ignore our true feelings. How was I supposed to leave here tonight and just forget what he told me? How could I ignore how strongly he feels about me?

I can't.

I had come here for something, I wasn't even sure what, but I knew I couldn't leave yet. Not when I felt so unfulfilled. I took a deep breath, gaining Dimitri's attention again and took off the hoodie I was wearing and dropped it by my feet. Dimitri's eyes widened at the outfit I had on underneath. I had been in bed when I decided to come to him, so the only thing covering my body was a pair of white cotton shorts and a matching loose, see-through tee-shirt.

"Roza," he swallowed, as I slipped off my shoes and slowly walked over to where he sat.

"Instead of going back to my room and doing exactly what I know you'll be doing here as well, why don't I just do it here in front of you?"

"Roza," he repeated, his accent coming out thick.

When I reached him, I put my arms around his neck, feeling how stiff his posture was and sat myself down on his lap.

"You won't even have to touch me. Just please don't say no to me," I asked him, surprised at the vulnerability I heard in my own voice.

He heard it, too. Dimitri bought his hand up to my face, cupping my cheek.

"You need this?"

I nodded, nuzzling my face closer to his hand. Dimitri bought his face closer to mine and I got the hint, closing the gap between us. The kiss was soft and slow, which was surprising considering he just agreed to let me masturbate in front of him. Before the kiss could get any deeper, Dimitri pulled away and dropped his hand from my face. Leaning back into his chair, he wordlessly let me know he was ready whenever I was.

I stood up and looked around the room, eyeing his bed for a considerably long time. That would be the comfier option, but Dimitri was all the way over here on this chair. Instead, I turned around and leaned against his desk, standing directly in between his legs.

My heart sped up at what I was about to do next, but I was the one who wanted this so I pushed those feelings aside, hooked my fingers into the waistband of my shorts and pulled them down until they lay in a pool by my feet.
I heard Dimitri exhale sharply; I was completely nude from the waist down.

I propped my self on to his desk, shivering slightly as the cool wood made contact with my bare skin. Looking away from Dimitri's face, I let my eyes travel lower. His hands were clenched hard on the arms of the chair. He was trying not to touch me. My gaze dropped to his lap where I was surprised to see a growing bulge pushing against the cotton of his pajama pants.

"Will you also…?" I didn't know how to finish the sentence, but he knew what I meant. I looked back up at his eyes when he didn't answer. "Please."

Dimitri roughly ran a hand through his hair at my request.

"No touching Roza," he pleaded with more strain in his voice than I had ever heard before.

I nodded quickly, it was the least I could agree to considering what he was letting me do.

Dimitri clenched and unclenched his hands while I held my breath and waited. He had seen me down to my underwear during the lust charm, and I had already dropped my shorts tonight. But I had only ever seen Dimitri in his boxers. This was the first time I'd be seeing that part of a man.

This would be the first time I'd be seeing that part of Dimitri.

"Wait," I interrupted him. "Can you lose the shirt?"

I thought he would scream at me or kick me out of the room for making another request, so I was surprised when his lips quirked up in amusement.

"Can you?" My mouth dropped, but I quickly closed it, summoning up my Rose Hathaway bravado.

"All you had to do is ask Comrade." To be honest, the shirt did absolutely nothing to hide my chest to Dimitri. My hardened nipples had already been pushing against the thin fabric, so I wasted no time taking the shirt off and throwing it down onto Dimitri's floor.

I looked straight into his darkening eyes and he stared right back as he took his own shirt off, baring his toned and sexy chest to me.

I released a sigh of pleasure at the sight and leaned back on my hands to admire the view. I already felt heat between my legs, and rubbed my thighs together for some much needed friction. Dimitri noticed the movement and groaned quietly. I looked pointedly at him then back down to his lap, where he seemed to have grown even more.

He understood clearly what I wanted so he lifted his hips slightly in the chair, hesitated only a moment longer, than pulled his pajama pants down enough to free his erection.

My breath hitched in my throat at the sight of him. He was thick and long, bigger than anything I could've imagined. Dimitri wrapped a hand around himself, hissing quietly at the contact of skin against skin. He was covering himself, not wanting me to get unnerved.

I felt liquid pool between my legs. "You're so naked."

Dimitri smirked, "So are you."

I put my hands on my thighs, starting to feel a bit nervous. "So how do we do this? Do we pretend like the other person isn't here and just start?" I was starting to think too much about this and Dimitri noticed.

"Relax," he said gently. "Take a deep breath and relax." I did as I was told, feeling tremendously better. "Good. Now open your legs for me Roza."

Such a small request compared to all I had asked of him so far and yet I could feel my heart rate pick up. I leaned back on the wall behind his desk and slowly opened my legs for Dimitri.

"Fuck Roza," he quietly groaned and the words alone caused more wetness to seep out of me. He moved his chair closer to the desk, and me. I placed my feet on either side, on the arms of his chair.

"What should I do next?" I asked him quietly.

"Show me exactly what you do when you're alone. Tell me and show me how I make you feel."

"Will you tell me, too?"

He swallowed roughly, than nodded his head. "Yes."

I place my hands on my sides and slowly bought them up until they met with the swell of my breasts. "I always start here when I think of you. Do you remember how much time you spent here the night of the lust charm?"

"I can't ever forget." I saw his hand squeeze his cock, before he slowly moved it along his shaft. "I can still feel how your nipples felt against my tongue. I could have spent hours with my mouth on you Roza."

Hearing him say that, I bought my hands further up, and tweaked my nipples.

Maintaining eye contact with Dimitri, I licked my fingertips and bought them back to my nipples, tugging them as a sigh of pleasure escaped my lips.

"Do you think of putting your mouth anywhere else?" Dimitri's eyes immediately dropped to my spread legs as I asked him.

"Fuck yes. I think about you riding my face. I already know you'll taste better than anything I could imagine.

"Dimitri," I moaned at the dirtiness of his words.

"Keep going baby," he told me and I bit my lip at how sexy that word sounded on his lips.

Leaving my nipples, I opened my legs further for Dimitri and dragged my hands slowly down my chest. "I told you that night that you were the first man to ever see me naked. You were the first man to ever touch me here," and as I said it, my right hand came into contact with my wet center. I was surprised at how wet I was, my essence completely coating the inside of my thighs. "I want you to be the only man to ever to touch me here." I admitted truthfully as I slowly began to circle my fingers against my clit.

"I want to be the only man to ever touch you, kiss you, fuck you." His hand sped up on his cock, his fist twisting each time it came into with his swollen, leaking head. "I want to be the only man to ever love you."

"You are," I looked him in the eyes as I told him. "You are."

Dimitri eyes shone with lust and love. As one hand continued to work on his length, the other cupped the heavy sack that lay beneath.

I bought my left hand back up to my chest as my right one continued to work over my clit. "I think about what else could happen between us. I imagine laying beneath you, staring up at your handsome face as you fuck me. I'd beg you to fuck me Dimitri."

"I imagine it, too. You naked as you are now, whimpering underneath me, clenching around my cock as I make you mine."

"Dimitri," I moaned as I feel closer to finishing. "When I close my eyes, I dream of you, too. I go to sleep thinking of you and wake up wanting you."

Dimitri stood up, bracing one of his hands by my leg. My toes curled in pleasure as the peak of my pleasure came closer and closer. Dimitri's own hand moved rapidly over his length, his abs tight and his eyebrows set low.

"Dimitri I'm so close," I whimpered. He grunted and moved closer so he was directly in between my legs. "At the end of it all, I imagine you finishing inside of me, making me yours." Dimitri groaned and it spurred me. "Cum on me, please, please, cum on me."

The tension I felt in the pit of my stomach snapped free as an intense orgasm rocked through my body. My back arched against the wall as I moaned Dimitri's name over and over again.

"Roza, Roza, Roza," he quietly groaned and moment later, I felt his warm liquid hit my lower stomach and the inside of my thighs. As our orgasm died down, Dimitri moved his body close to me, leaning his head against my shoulder. I bought my own arms up and hugged his bare body to my own naked chest.

I felt his lips purse against my skin and turned my head to press kisses against his cheek. We were both covered in a light sheen of sweat, but didn't care in the slightest as we clung even tighter onto each other.

"Dimitri I-,"

"I know Roza," he said softly, cutting me off. "I do, too."

I felt a wave of sadness hit me and tried my best to push it away. It wasn't fair. We felt so much for each other and it wasn't fair that we had to hide it. Dimitri turned his head and pressed a soft kiss against my lips. He pulled away too quickly for my liking and walked into the adjoining bathroom. He came out a moment later with a wet washcloth and wiped himself off of my stomach and thighs. I closed my legs and sat up as Dimitri put his pajama pants back on.

It shocked me, even after everything we just did, at how well Dimitri knew me. I didn't feel like putting my clothes back on but he already guessed that as he handed me the shirt he had taken off earlier tonight. I did and waited silently. I didn't want to assume I'd stay the night after what we did. It wasn't because I thought Dimitri would be cruel enough to kick me out, but I didn't know if he had a shift to be getting ready for or if he even liked sharing his bed with someone else while he slept. Thankfully, he made the decision for us as he tugged on my wrist and pulled me to his bed. I got in and quickly molded myself into his side, clinging onto him tightly. He didn't seem to mind as he turned to face me and pull me closer to his chest.

"Are you comfy?"

"Yes," I told him truthfully. I pecked him quickly on the lips, feeling overwhelmed with his sweetness. "Thank you for tonight. I didn't realize how much I needed it."

"I needed it too Rose. It's hard to for me to stay away from you after all we've been through. Moments like this make me realize how precious you are to me." Smiling, I kissed him again.

"Can I ask you something Rose?"

I nodded.

"Earlier you mentioned you dreamt of me, too. What kind of dreams do you have?"

He seemed genuinely interested in wanting to know and I would do just about anything to keep myself awake and stay like this with Dimitri.

"There are a lot of different dreams I have of you. One that I have a lot is of me, tanning on some beach while you rub oil over my body." His eyebrow quirked up in that cool way I was jealous of. "I didn't only think of the lust charm, I dreamt of it, too. Mostly what would've happened between us if you hadn't taken the necklace off of me. I dream of what I want to happen between us, alone, naked and in bed together." He gulped, his eyes darkening once again.

I hesitated and blushed hard, despite everything that transpired between us tonight, I felt shy admitting my next dream to him. Dimitri noticed and lightly brushed his finger against my warm cheeks.

"What can make you react like this after what we just did together?" I took his hand that was near my face and bought it down to my toned stomach.

"I dream of having a baby with you." Dimitri eyes widened in surprised, which immediately turned into extreme sadness. "I know it's impossible for us, and I wouldn't want that with anyone other than you."

He seemed speechless. I doubted he ever thought a girl like me could have any type of maternal feelings, but with him I wanted everything.

"I'm sorry I can't give that to you," he said softly.

"I'm sorry, too." I told him and meant it. I doubt I would make anything more than a mediocre mother, but Dimitri would make the best father in the world.

"And I dream of having a real future with you, where we don't have to hide what we feel for each other and can live happily and freely as we want to."

"I dream of that, too," he responded quietly.

"Do you think…do you think any of these dreams will come true?" I asked him, my voice laced with vulnerability. I wanted him to be honest, but I was also scared of the answer he'd give me.

Dimitri cupped my cheek, bringing his face closer to mine. "Yes they will Rose. Not all of them," he said with a sad smile, referring to our hope for a baby. "But they will come true. After tonight, I don't think I can go back to acting the way I had been with you. We can't go further than we did tonight, but I need you to know that I'm yours and your mine, and nothing will ever come in between that." I felt my eyes fill with tears from the promise Dimitri just made me.

This is all I had wanted from Dimitri since the night of the lust charm; hope that we could make this relationship work. And to think it all started with a night of liquid courage.

I kissed Dimitri one last time on the lips, and moved my head until it lay against his chest. I felt him kiss my head and tighten his arms around my body. With the sound of his heart beating against my ear, I closed my eyes and dreamt of the future that awaited us.