A/N: Thank you to those who responded to my question from last chapter! Very much appreciated! Also when I would be like "meh" to finishing any of my stories I reread the reviews to all my fics and so thaaank you!
Regina lays on the floor opposite of Killian, the remnants of weed slowly fading.
"You ever wonder how it'd feel like to be relieved of pressure, not having to deal with anyone or anything else?"
Killian laughs coyly, "I don't deal with pressure Love, that's all you."
Regina giggles happily, "Oh right. Only I still care."
They share a short pause trying to diminish the seriousness of the topic.
"You ever wondered what it'd be like to jump off a cliff?" she continuous.
"What?" Killian asks rising up from the floor.
"You know just letting go of everything and feeling the wind rush through you." Regina smiles while Killian looks at her trying to understand what she's saying. "I've gone skydiving but it feels different when you know you're gonna be safe and a parachute is going to save you. It lowers the thrill and excitement," she shrugs.
Killian lays back down on the floor, "now you're just talking crazy."
"I'm high and I'm drunk. I'm supposed to be crazy."
"Get up Mills," he orders jumping off the floor.
Regina looks at him quizzically still laying down.
"Come on!" Killian repeats tugging on her arm.
Regina stands up and groans, "can't I just lay here and complain about life."
"No. Come on let's have fun."
"It's the middle of the night, what are we gonna do?"
Killian smirks, "ever heard of a night market?"
"Shouldn't you kids be at home, sleeping?" Their Uber driver asks.
Killian shrugs realizing quickly that their driver can't see his response. "Our parents aren't home and it's her birthday so we're making the most of it." He responds.
"Wow! You're one sweet boyfriend, aren't you," their driver compliments.
Killian turns to Regina and grins, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "See I am an amazing boyfriend. I don't know what Emma talks about sometimes."
Regina thrust her elbow towards his stomach. "Don't," she warns.
"I'm just kidding, jeez."
"You know why she does that right? She only wants you to be the best you."
Killian nods in agreement trying not to divulge into something deeper.
Regina wakes up with a burning headache. She squeezes her eyes shut quietly begging for the pain to subside. When the pain starts to lessen slightly a shuffling next to her causing her to quickly shot her eyes open.
"Morning Luv," a grinning Killian meets her. He opens his palms to reveal two white pills. "I thought, you'd want this once you wake."
She squints her eyes harshly trying to focus on what he's offering. She downs the pills before asking for the time.
"It's around five," he responds.
"Shit," she murmurs under her breath. She grunts in pain from her head and entire body. "Do you remember last night?" She asks pushing herself to sit up on the bed.
"Honestly," he pauses trying to recollect some memories. "We went to the night market, ate, and I believe drank. How we managed to get back home in one piece is beyond me," he continuous with a sly smile.
She searches the floor for her shoes before asking if he could drive her to her car from yesterday.
"Whatever your majesty commands."
The entire car ride was quiet until he laid his hands on top of hers on her lap. "Aye, we're okay, right?"
Regina turns her face towards him, giving him a genuinely confused look, "What do you mean, why wouldn't we be okay?"
He takes a second to look at her before facing the road again. "I mean you and I, we're still best friends right? No matter what goes on between Emma and I, you'll always be my friends?"
"Killian-" she expresses softly before he cuts her off.
"I'm serious Regina, everything that I told you last night. Emma understands yeah, she get's how hard it is to be in the darkness sometimes and how much it hurts to be alone, but she isn't you. It's just different you know, you keep me around"
Regina places her other hand on top of his. "Yeah, don't worry, I've got your back. Promise."
By 6:30 in the morning she finally reaches her house.
Stepping foot inside her home, she instantly hears the bustling in the kitchen. What in the world? She questions. She turns to face the kitchen-dining area, she notices her parents and Zelena having breakfast together.
Trying to be as stealthy as she could, she heads for the stairs trying to pass unnoticed. As she reaches the fourth step a loud crash can be heard from the kitchen. A fork loudly slammed on the plate.
"Where do you think you're going Ms. Mills?!" Her mother yells from the table.
"Crap," she curses to herself. She lifts her body and transforms into a stance that her mother wouldn't question. Walking to the room with her family, the clash of the plate still ringing in her brain, he mother asks her again, "Where were you this early in the morning, Missy?" Cora folds her arms across her chest and continues, "You know we don't like you going out without permission. That's one of the top rules of this house Regina!"
Regina holds her teeth together trying to promptly come up with an excuse.
"I just picked up my car, Mother," she lies, her hands fiddling with each other. "I just thought that it'd be best to go ahead and grab it with Killian instead of inconveniencing you or daddy for it," she shrugs. The lie coming out of her mouth fluidly.
In the back, Helena raises her eyebrows upward with great incredulous. She has to hand it to her sister, she's quick on her feet.
Cora continuously scans Regina trying to find a single hint of lie. "Very well then, go sit and join us for breakfast."
Regina turns around letting a deep breath, that she didn't even know that she was holding, out.
"Regina, if you ever go out without asking or decide to ditch school again, forget that you have a license or a car. If I need to hire someone or drive you around myself to make sure you're where you're supposed to be, then I will."
"Cora please," Henry warns before turning to look at Regina who was already sat and looking down on her plate, dragging her fork on the pancakes in front of her.
His wife rolls her eyes at his words. "Stop coddling her. She's not a baby anymore."
A few minutes pass and Regina had managed to down a couple bites of her food.
Cora lifts her drinks and brings it up to her mouth, carefully drinking it. She scrunches her face out of confusion before spitting out the drink back in her cup. Cora isn't the type to show such ungracefulness but that was terrible. "Remi!" She yells, calling out for their cook.
A big man in a white chef's uniform walks out of the kitchen, "yes madam."
"Why the hell does my tea taste like that?" She asks angrily.
Remi swallows harshly. "I-I apologize madam, but your daughter usually makes your tea in the morning. She didn't come down today so we- I tried to replicate it."
Cora's anger subsides and turns her attention to Regina. "I didn't know that you make my morning tea."
Regina refuses to lift her head up to look at her mother but rather continues to stab her food. She shrugs her shoulders trying to show her mother that she acknowledges what she was saying.
Helena flies off her seat offering her service. "I can make you tea. I was raised after brits after all," she proudly shares.
Cora glows in joy, "oh that would be amazing, dear!"
Anger and jealousy brew inside Regina. She's been making her mother tea for years and all she gets was "I didn't know that you make my morning tea." Regina drops her fork on the plate before she excuses herself. Her seat creating a large screeching noise as she gets up.
Cora was too captivated by Helena that she didn't even catch the loud ruckus or the fact her husband carried a frown.
Henry truly concedes that Helena was new and was doing her best to fit in and make everyone happy. he also fully understands that his wife was just trying to fill the hole in her heart from when she went missing. He genuinely didn't even know why he was upset because his family was back together again. He shakes his head to relieve himself of his thoughts and watches the sight before him— Cora hugging Zelena as tight as she can. His view all of a sudden turning to the empty open seat with a pancake filled plate in front of it. Barely any bites are taken from it but thousands of holes poked.
Regina sat on her bedroom floor staring blankly. She wasn't worth it. Her actions for years meant nothing. She woke up a ut earlier every damn day just to make her mother a cup of tea and it didn't even matter, but the one time she doesn't and her sister makes it, well fuck. The woman could fucking let out a breath and her mother will give the entire world to her.
Her heart starts to clench tighter and tighter. Her hand raises to her chest forming a fist, begging it to stop. She starts breathing deeply trying to even it out. Her hands start to feel numb and she pauses for a moment. Is this how she's going to die, she wonders.
She lays her head in between her knees and tries to calm down.
A long moment passes before a knock startles her.
"Mija, are you okay?" She hears her father ask.
She lifts her head up, gripping her legs closer to her chest. She tries to gain an ounce of composure before responding. "I'm fine Daddy. I just want to sleep," she yells from her side of the door. "I-I'm fine. I swear."
"Are you sure?" He asks trying to reassure her.
"Yes. I am."
She spends the majority of the day trying to catch up on the sleep she lost last night.
"Regina?" She hears trying to blink the sleepiness away.
An old woman lays behind her and slips a hand on her lower torso to hug her. "What's wrong honey?"
Regina tries to push herself away from the woman. "Nothing."
The woman only scoots closer, "You can't lie to me. You know that."
Regina huffs, "It doesn't matter. Whether I tell you or not, nothing will change. No one cares." She responds, quietly mumbling the last part.
But the old woman hears. "I care because I've known you from the minute you were in your Mommy's belly. I care because I practically raised you from the minute you came from that hospital. I care because you're my family, you know that."
Regina turns around to face the woman. "That's the point. You raised me. My own mother couldn't even be bothered with me. And I'm not really your family. Even if I call you Gramma Fa, the truth is you're Mulan's. You'll get tired of me too and you'll end up choosing her before me." Regina's lips lift to a tight sad smile. "Honestly Gramma Fa, I'd feel better if no one even tries to be anything with me in the first place."
Regina turns back around, hugging herself tightly. An image of her grandfather flashing through her mind.
11 years ago…
Regina sits in a crowded room waiting for her parents to arrive. They promised. They promised, they'll be here.
"Okay everyone, it's time for Regina to blow her candles!" Gramma Fa announces, gathering everyone around the cake.
"Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday, Dear Reginaaaaaa. Happy Birthday, to you!"
Gramma Fa places a hand on Regina, encouraging her to blow her candles.
Regina closes her eyes silently wishing in her mind. I wish Mommy and Daddy would find their way back to me. I wish that they'd find Ze already so, Mommy isn't so sad anymore. I wish they'd find Ze so I'd be good enough for them again.
When the flames turn to smoke everyone starts to clap and cheer.
Regina retreats to their backyard sitting on the hanging swing bed.
"Now, I know that's not our princess sitting on the porch by herself," a voice calls.
"Grandma! Grandpa!" She yells out, her spirits immediately turning.
"What's got you down, sweetheart?" Her Grandmother asks.
Regina then proceeds to explain how it seems her parents are always occupied with work or finding her sister. She tells them that she understands why they're always gone, but it's so unfair how she has to stay home because they're afraid to lose her too, but they don't care enough to spend time with her at home. She then explains how sometimes she wishes that she would've gone missing instead.
Her grandfather didn't bother hiding his scowl at the words of his grandchild.
"Regina, sweetie, your parents love you." Her Grandmother tries to assure her.
"Aggie," her grandfather calls out. "Would you leave us alone for a moment."
"Xavier, no," she quickly responds knowing what her husband would do.
He pleads again and she lets it go and gets up. "I'll go get you some cake."
When it was just the two of them left, Xavier reaches for Regina.
"I know it's hard Regina. You feel like you're alone."
Regina smiles lightly finally feeling like someone understands her.
"But let me tell you something. You are Regina Mills. Do you know what that means?"
Regina shakes her head.
"It means that you are my grandchild and one day you'll take over The Great Mills Toy Company. I want you to remember one thing, Regina. Love is weakness. Our family didn't get this far up by being loved or care for, we got this far by striving and doing things for ourselves. You will one day be the head of our company and you have to stand on your own. Love is a weakness. Power, true power endures."
Maybe her grandfather was right. Love was weakness because if it wasn't then why was she constantly hurting.
After today she swore. "After today, she'll be a new person."
Thoughts?
Btw, care to guess what Disney movie Regina's grandma is from?