Jaune Arc was a rather strange man.

After a rather extensive career as a Huntsman, Jaune retired early to work on a passion one of his longtime allies and closest friends had introduced to him, one solemn winter night.

Weapon smithing.

Jaune had become rather adept at this hobby, which had soon turned into a rather busy full time job. Turns out, if you were once a heroic swordsman, people will want to buy your swords.

Who would've guessed.

Of course, Jaune felt as if his talent was wasted on these measly blades of metal and craftsmanship, and he wished to set his sights on a far more exotic project.

He just didn't know what he would consider his penultimate project, his magnum opus.

Until he did, of course.

It was a rather late night in Patch, and Jaune, alongside some of his closest allies, were drinking the local tavern out of business. Or into their biggest profits since the last time. It was hard to tell, at this point, considering Jaune was completely hammered.

Somehow, the conversation had strayed to something that rarely came up in standard discussion.

"You -hic- you know that guy?" Yang asked, swaying on her barstool.

"What guy?" Ruby asked, drearily.

"The one who -hic- who stuffed a cat into a box?" Yang said, raising a few eyebrows from the surrounding veterans.

"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this conversation in public, Yang," Blake said, blushing.

"The cat was both alive -hic- alive and dead, at the same time," Yang said, completely missing Blake's input.

"Yang, what are you talking about?" Ruby asked, surprisingly coherent.

"I think I might know what she's talking about," Ren said, the so-called designated driver. "Schrodinger, right? Atlesian physicist, talked a lot about quantum physics."

Yang nodded, before slumping over atop Blake, who grunted from the sudden impact.

"Wait, what is she talking about?" Jaune slurred, looking up from above his empty cup.

Weiss chose this opportunity to represent her kingdom. "Schrodinger theorised that the cat inside the box was both alive and dead, once subjected to a poison, but that looking inside the box one would only see the cat alive or dead, not both."

"So, it was everything and nothing at the same time?" Jaune asked, his head rising from the bar a slight amount.

"I suppose, in a way," Weiss responded, a confused look on her face.

"I have an idea!" Jaune stood up and exclaimed loudly.

"Pancakes!" Nora cried out in her sleep, contributing her usual amount to their discussion.

Tomorrow, Jaune was going to have the biggest hangover.

And the best idea he'd ever heard of.

His magnum opus.

Morning broke, much to the shame of Jaune. His eyes were crusted over from sleep, and he had a throbbing headache.

It lasted all of about six seconds before a thought popped into the forefront of his mind.

The Sheath Of Infinite Possibilities.

That was it. A name for a weapon, one of indescribable power and unending value.

Jaune quickly grabbed his scroll and began researching into quantum physics, specifically quantum entanglement, before jumping out of bed and heading towards his workshop.

The door squeaked open on its hinges and Jaune completely missed the passed out Ruby lying on the bunk in his workshop, head buried into a pillow.

Jaune took a seat, and began sketching.

Hours passed, and it was nearly lunch before stirring behind Jaune snapped him out of his planning mindset.

"Jaune?"

Jaune spun around in surprise, before averting his eyes from the partially dressed twenty-something reaper that was sat in his bunk, rubbing sleep from her eyes.

"Oh, ah, hey Ruby. You surprised me," Was all Jaune could think to say, as he went back to revising his sketch.

Ruby looked at herself, before quickly grabbing her pyjama top and throwing it on. She stood up and wandered over to Jaune, leaning over to look at what had absorbed his attention.

"Wow, Jaune. What's this?" Ruby asked, staring at his designs.

"It's my masterpiece, Ruby. My magnum opus!" Jaune exclaimed excitedly.

"Right. Is this why you didn't remember I'm staying here whilst Yang and Blake are at dads?" Ruby asked, looking at Jaune.

"Partially. I was also almost black-out drunk last night, so I may not be in the best mindset." Jaune replied.

Ruby moaned, seemingly remembering her hangover. "Please, don't remind me. I'm just going to go get some breakfast." Ruby looked at her scroll, before amending her previous statement. "Lunch. I'm going to get some lunch. Weiss will no doubt be wondering where I am, so I'll be out for a while. Want me to bring you something back?"

"Nah, that's fine Rubes. Enjoy your lunch, and tell Weiss I said hi," Jaune responded, before looking at Ruby. "You should probably wear more than that."

Ruby blushed and smacked Jaune over the head, and Jaune laughed.

He had seven sisters, it wasn't like he was interested in his honorary ninth sister.

Nora would've killed him if he'd said eighth.

A month had passed since Jaune's brilliant idea, and it was done.

Complete.

Finally, it was time for a test.

Ruby had shown up, far more scuffed up than the last time she'd been in Patch, but far more excited.

Surprisingly, so had Weiss.

"So, Jaune, where'd you get this idea exactly?" Weiss asked, concern on her face.

"Remember a month ago, when Yang brought up that Atlesian physicist?" Jaune asked, and both girls nodded.

"Well, I was super drunk, as most of us were, and it just popped into my head!" Jaune finished explaining happily.

"Do you normally make a habit of following every idea that pops into your head when you are drunk?" Weiss asked.

"Well, yeah. It hasn't led me astray so far," Jaune replied, a questioning look on his face.

"Jaune, your only ideas you have when you are drunk are to buy food. The only reason it hasn't led you astray is because you physically can't be led astray by grocers in Patch, regardless of what time it is," Ruby said, a smirk on her face.

Jaune simply stood there in silence for a moment, before regaining his bearings.

"Alright girls, are you ready?" Jaune asked, the sheath in question hanging on his belt.

"Yeah, Jaune!" Ruby exclaimed.

"By all means, Jaune," Weiss said.

That was the best go ahead he'd been given so far, and he reached his hand down the the handle, grasping it with his fingers.

A beat passed.

A second beat.

Jaune pulled.

In a single moment, the entire universe coalesced, and Jaune withdrew a weapon unlike any other.

"What the fuck," Ruby and Weiss said in unison, staring at the weapon.

Jaune didn't say anything, just amazed it worked.

In his hand, Jaune held the handle to the sword. His eyes followed up from the handle, and to the blade.

Or at least, where a blade should've been.

Instead, there was a rigid mass of banana skins.

"Well, that is certainly not what I was expecting," Jaune said.

Weiss and Ruby didn't reply.

"Should I try again?" Jaune asked.

Weiss and Ruby nodded.

After a little bit of difficulty, Jaune managed to sheath the organic weapon, and there was an audible clunk as the handle sealed to the sheath.

"Second try, here we go!" Jaune said, pulling the handle out of the sheath.

Another moment of reality simultaneously collapsing and forming, and out came a blade.

Unlike the first catastrophe, this was actually a blade, and one made of metal!

A resounding success!

Except for the moment it left the sheath and Jaune stopped applying as much force to it as he could.

It thudded to the ground, and cracked the stone where it landed.

Jaune had released his grip on the sword, grasping his sword hand in his off-hand.

"Ow, ow, ow," Jaune muttered, shaking his bruised hand.

"Jaune, are you alright?" Ruby asked, as Weiss stood up to peer at the metal.

"Heavy," Jaune said, massaging his wrist.

Weiss bent over and grasped the sword, before straining.

She grunted from the exertion, before releasing her grip and falling flat onto the ground.

"Ah, Weiss!" Ruby said, rushing over to her partner.

Jaune walked over, and placed both hands on the sword, before nodding to the two girls. "Can I get some help?"

Ruby nodded, and helped Weiss up, and the three proceeded to lift the blade, and carefully slot it inside the sheath.

There was another audible clunk, and the weight on Jaune's belt ceased to exist.

"Woah, that was weird," Jaune said under his breath, exhaustion covering his and both girls faces.

"Quick break and food?" Jaune asked, gesturing towards the picnic basket full of sandwiches he'd brought.

Two exhausted nods came, and the three took a lunch break.

With lunch concluded, Jaune, Weiss and Ruby were ready to see what blade the endless miasma of the universe would bring forward.

Jaune set his hand on the handle once again.

"Third time's the charm?" He said, and he pulled.

Jaune always knew he'd do something stupid sooner or later, something he'd regret for the rest of his life.

As the blade exited the sheath and splattered Ruby and Weiss in green paint, he knew this was that one thing.

The one thing he would regret for the rest of his life.

It wasn't Fall of Beacon level, but from Weiss and Ruby's reactions, you'd think it was.

"Jaune!" Ruby screamed, jumping up.

"Arc!" Weiss also screamed, leaping to her feet.

"Oops," Was all Jaune could say.

White glyphs hovered around the yard as Weiss attempted to kill Jaune. Ruby grabbed a hold of her partner, and attempted to calm her down, even as both girls stared death stares at the swordsman.

"Easy, Weiss. It's not like Jaune knew what was going to happen. Please don't kill him," Ruby said, and Weiss slowly calmed down.

A couple of minutes passed, and Ruby and Weiss were mostly cleaned up, their clothes still a little green.

"So, Jaune, if you try again, please face the other way," Weiss said, still grumpy.

Jaune did so, placing the handle back against the sheath, the clunk indicating that it still worked, even if the blade wasn't actually attached, and was in fact a long line towards the girls.

"Alright, fourth time's the charm?" He said questioningly, before drawing the blade.

The gods were confused once again as their creations seemingly flickered before them, and Jaune drew the sword.

"Well, I wasn't expecting this," Jaune said, as the three of them stared dumbly at the weapon.

In Jaune's hand sat a sword unlike any other, again, for the fourth time.

The sword barked at Jaune.

Jaune dropped the sword.

"Zwei?" Ruby asked, looking at the corgi that sat atop the handle.

Zwei barked in reply, wagging his tail happily. Zwei was unsure how he'd gotten here, but Ruby, Weiss and Jaune were here, so he wasn't worried.

He hopped down from the handle, landing softly on the ground and bounding over into the outstretched arms of Weiss, a surprised look still on the three's faces.

"Jaune, how did you do that?" Ruby asked, stunned.

Jaune couldn't formulate words, just shaking his head in disbelief.

Their stunned silence was interrupted by a ringing sound, and Ruby quickly pulled out her scroll.

"Yang? Yeah, uh-huh, right. Well…"

Even from where Jaune was standing he heard the loud exclamation from Yang.

"Relax, Yang! He's right here!"

Zwei barked a confirmation.

"So you were playing with him, and he just vanished right in front of you. Ok…"

Yang continued to talk, Jaune unable to make out anything but an unintelligible blur of noise.

"Well, what happened happened, and you're not crazy, so don't worry?" Ruby said hesitantly.

More loud shouting exited the scroll's speakers, Ruby holding it away from her ear.

It didn't stop, and Ruby tactfully hung up on her screaming sister.

"Are you sure that it was a good idea to hang up on her?" Jaune asked.

Ruby shrugged. "She'll get over it."

"So, one more time?" Jaune questioned his audience.

Ruby shrugged again, ever the eloquent huntress.

Weiss, far more versed in carrying a conversation, glared at Jaune, obviously not over the paint incident, although Zwei was tempering her attitude.

Jaune took that as a yes, placing the empty hilt in the sheath, and preparing to draw for the final time today.

Jaune took a deep breath.

He drew, for the fifth and final time.

The sword was heavy, but Jaune didn't even notice, staring at the girl that slumped to the ground.

Her red hair splayed across the dirt, her bronze armour glistening in the sunlight.

"Pyrrha?!"

Well that was a fun little oneshot, had the idea a while ago and figured it was pretty funny, so I decided to write it. I may do more chapters if anyone really wants, but this was meant to be a oneshot.

And, as always, see you next story
~AFatFlyingWhale