Mae Willis sat quietly in her family's car as they drove to Kings Cross Station. She wasn't normally a quiet girl; she'd spent ninety-five percent of her life laughing and making jokes. All of that had changed, however, at the end of June. She felt like she'd been stabbed in the chest; like the knife had been slammed into her and twisted around and then left there to make her bleed the entire summer. Her parents hadn't wanted her to return to Hogwarts, and it had taken a personal visit from Albus Dumbledore to convince them to let her go back. And oddly enough, she wanted to. Hogwarts was the last place she'd spent time with her best friend, and she was hoping to find echoes of Cedric in the corridors.

"You're sure you want to go back?" her mother asked for the tenth time that morning. "You know you don't have to, right?"

"I know, Mum," Mae said softly. "But I want to. How am I supposed to learn to protect myself if I don't go back. And Cedric would want me to finish."

Her father sighed heavily and continued to stare straight ahead. "Cedric thought of you like a little sister, Mae. Don't you think he'd want his little sister to be safe?"

"I will be safe," Mae argued. "But only if I learn how to protect myself. We've had good Defense professors the last two years; I'm sure Professor Dumbledore will give us another good one and then I can protect myself, and I can protect you two as well."

"Mae-"

"I'm not arguing with you about this," she said stubbornly, folding her arms across her chest and turning her head to stare out the window. "Just get me to the platform, please."

Her parents both sighed then, and they didn't say another word to her for the rest of the drive. Mae closed her eyes and fought to keep herself from crying. She'd spent the first half of her summer unwilling to leave her room. Her parents were right; Cedric had thought of her as a little sister, and Mae had thought of him as a big brother. He'd been there for her throughout her entire life; they'd known the Diggory's for years before Mae had been born. They'd been shocked to find out that the family were wizards, and even more shocked when Mae got a letter to Hogwarts herself. Cedric had gone with her to Diagon Alley the first time and pointed out what he thought she would like or needed for school. He'd been the one to teach her how to play quidditch and it had been one of their favorite things to do together. He'd been the person Mae could go to when she was upset or elated, and he'd hug her and congratulate her, or tell her that he was there for her no matter what.

When he'd been chosen as the first champion for Hogwarts last year, Mae had been over the moon. She knew that Cedric was excited and they'd celebrated with butterbeer that Mae had snuck into the school. It was his chance for glory, which she knew he secretly craved. He'd gotten through two tasks and come out on top and tied with Harry Potter. He'd gone into that maze after practicing spells with her for two weeks. And then he'd come out, being clutched and covered by Harry as he shouted about Lord Voldemort being back.

Mae didn't blame Harry for what happened in the maze. She'd overheard him telling the story to his friends as she'd sat in shock, and she knew he couldn't have done anything differently. But that didn't mean that she could handle Cedric dying. He was family; he was her best friend at Hogwarts and outside of it. And he was gone.

Her thoughts clouded her mind the rest of the ride to the train station. Mae blinked in surprise when they arrived, and she glanced at her parents to see them looking at her worriedly. But she didn't speak to them, because as soon as they opened their mouths they'd be begging her to stay behind and stay safe with them. She'd explained a thousand times that Hogwarts was one of the safest places in the world for her, but that hadn't really comforted them at all. Not speaking was a better decision for all of them; it would keep them from fighting about her return to school, and it would keep her calm and not about to burst into tears.

Her dad helped her with her trunk and her owl. They put her things on a trolley, as they did every year, and followed her to the platform. That's where they stopped. Her parents, even though they watched her run through the brick wall every year, couldn't bring themselves to do it. They were convinced they'd hit the wall and bounce back because they weren't magic. Mae had tried to inform them that they'd be allowed through because they were her parents, but that hadn't ever worked for that.

"I suppose this is goodbye." she said, hugging her mother for a long minute before turning to her father.

He didn't hug her, and instead put his hands on her cheeks and stared at her worriedly. "Mae," he said softly, "I watched one of my oldest friends go through losing his son this summer. Please don't make me go through the same thing."

"I won't," Mae promised softly. "Dad, I…"

"I love you too," he said, finally hugging her. He didn't let go for a full two minutes, and at that point in time she started to feel silly for him holding on so long. She was an adult now, after all, and her dad was still hugging her like she was five years old. "Go on. Don't sit by yourself though, do you hear me? Find one of your friends-one of the A names or Katie, okay?"

"Angelina and Alicia," Mae said, smiling slightly. Her father could never remember their names to save his life. She didn't know why, as the names weren't particularly challenging, but it did make her friends laugh whenever they heard him talk about them. "I'll find them."

Her mother hugged her one more time before pushing her off to the wall. She was just about to go through when she realized that she recognized one of the people passing by her. She opened her mouth to shout hello and to yell at Cedric for pretending to be dead when she realized that the man she'd seen wasn't actually her best friend; he just resembled him slightly. Her throat tightened and her eyes burned, and Mae pushed her trolley through the wall before she could stare at him for much longer.

Contrary to what she'd told her father, Mae didn't even attempt to find the Gryffindor girls she was friends with. Angelina, just like herself, had been made captain of her respective quidditch team, and Mae wasn't sure if she'd be seen as a friend or a competitor from now on. Angelina was intense when it came to quidditch, and while Mae couldn't blame her for that, she wasn't quite sure where she'd stand now. So instead she looked for the first empty compartment she came across and went inside, shutting the door quietly and praying that no one would bother her.

Being alone was something she wanted more frequently now. When she wasn't alone, people wanted to talk about Cedric or school in general, and Mae wasn't ready to talk about any of that yet. She could hardly even talk about Cedric with her parents, so she definitely wasn't going to be able to do it with someone else. People at Hogwarts especially knew her as Cedric's friend, his best friend, and she had a feeling she wouldn't go a day without hearing about him all year long. The other students would think they were helping her, but Mae knew the truth. Every reminder of Cedric, as much as she craved it, twisted that knife a little further into her heart.

Luck was on her side for most of the journey. It was almost like there was a flashing light outside the door to her compartment that said to leave her alone, because she noticed some people come up to the door, see her inside, and then immediately turn around. She wondered if this was what people felt like when they had the plague or some other terrible disease. If sadness could be classified as a disease, then she definitely had it.

She couldn't be lucky forever though. Halfway through the journey the door to her compartment slid open, and she was greeted with the sight of messy black hair, round glasses, and a lightning scar. Mae just stared at Harry Potter as he stood in the doorway to her compartment. She'd talked to him maybe ten times her entire life, and it was mostly to congratulate him every time he beat her team in a quidditch match, or the occasional good luck during the tournament last year. Which was why, when he stayed silent, she opened her mouth. "What do you want?" she asked, wincing slightly as her words sounded gruff and rude.

"I...Came to apologize," he said. "I never apologized last year, and...It should have been me, and I'm sorry it was Cedric."

She continued to stare at him for a moment before shaking her head. "Don't," she muttered. "Don't say that, Potter. Cedric didn't die for nothing; don't make it seem like he died for nothing."

"I'm-"

"I don't blame you," she said softly. "I don't. You couldn't have known what was going to happen. But don't you dare make it sound like he died for nothing."

He nodded and hung his head, backing out of the compartment. Mae sighed heavily and pulled out her wand, locking the door so no one else could come inside. An apologetic Harry Potter was not something she was capable of handling at the moment. She needed him to leave her alone, because if she had to deal with his guilt over the whole ordeal then she'd never be able to move on. She felt bad for speaking harshly to him, but he needed to realize that it wasn't his fault. Maybe she'd try and approach him later in the week to tell him that in a gentler manner. He deserved that; he'd had to watch Cedric die, and he was still a kid.

She tried to forget about the fact that she was utterly alone by counting the number of cows they passed on the journey, but that plan quickly fell through. She and Cedric had played stupid counting games like that on her first train ride, because it helped her stay calm and he hadn't wanted her to completely freak out. "I miss you," she muttered, leaning her head against the window. "God, I miss you."

Mae wondered if he could hear her. She wondered if he was in some kind of after life drinking tea with his grandfather, who'd died when Cedric was nine and who had always been one of the kindest men she knew. She liked to think that Cedric had the opportunity to be happy and with someone he loved, because the alternative was that he had just completely stopped existing, and somehow that felt worse than him just being dead.

Her status as someone with the plague continued on the ride up to Hogwarts once they arrived in Hogsmeade, as no one had wanted to climb into a carriage with her. It continued through dinner, where the other Hufflepuffs left spaces on either side of her so they wouldn't be obligated to talk to her. Even her teammates didn't want to talk to her, which was a low blow and made her nervous. She was supposed to be their captain that year, and if they wouldn't even look her in the eyes, how could they ever expect to win? She felt like she'd have to jump up and down and laugh hysterically to get their attention, because they were all avoiding eye contact as best as they possibly could.

Mae kept her eyes focused on the table at the front of the room for most of the meal. She, along with every other student, pretty much immediately had a bad taste in her mouth after Professor Umbridge was introduced, but Mae tried to convince herself that the woman couldn't be that bad. No one who wore that much pink could be that bad. She caught Professor Dumbledore's eye at one point in time and he smiled at her, the sad sort of smile you send someone when their pet has died. Mae sent a smile back and then looked at her cleared plate. The year was off to a poor start, and she wasn't convinced it was going to get any better.