[Good morning, sleepyhead.]

I stared at the rectangle in front of me, thinking I was still half-asleep. Having read things about people being paralysed upon awakening and hallucinating often terrifying things, I honestly believed I was partaking in such a ritual. However, as I realised I could move my body just fine, I pursed my lips and blankly stared at the box, ignoring the text that had presented itself to me.

I mean, it was a strange blue thing that I could stick my hand through without any trouble. Anyone would be confused and shocked.

[Are you ready to being the tutorial?]

The text changed without warning, making me jump just a little. Although I was feeling nervous and unsure as to what to do, I sat up and nod my head once, watching as the text rapidly changed once again.

[Great! First of all, your life is now a game of some kind.]

"A game…?" I muttered out loud. "What, like an RPG or MMO?"

[Exactly! To prove it to you, here's your status screen.]

NAME: Issei Hyoudou
LEVEL: 1
EXP: 0/100
AGE: 17
RACE: Human
CLASS: Hentai Fiend
Title: Leader of Perverted Trio
HP: 150/150
MP: 5/5
STR: 15
VIT: 15
AGI: 10
DEX: 10
INT: 5
WIS: 5
LCK: 10

[It's self-explanatory but to set things straight, your CLASS and hobbies are what made your stats the way they are. Titles don't really mean anything, so I'll skip over that stuff. However, the actions you make will give you titles.]

I see…so, my life really is a game of sorts. But, where are my skills and how and why did this happen to me of all people?

[You don't have any skills yet because you've just started but there's no need to worry! You can acquire skills by completing actions or events or paying someone to teach you! There are also some hidden skills, so don't forget to try everything you can!]

So it totally ignored the second part of my question, huh? But that doesn't matter, I suppose. I'll find out why I've been chosen in the future if fate treats me well, so all I have to do is get stronger. Although, are there things like achievements in this game? What about relationship indicators? Usually, in MMOs, there are things like reputation…

[Both of those concepts do exist! Here is your only achievement so far!]

[ACHIEVEMENTS
Start the game!
Reward: the tutorial!]

[All of the achievements are hidden, so do your best to unlock all of them! You might get certain skills if you do!]

[Moving along, here is a taste of your relations tab!]

RELATIONS
Kuoh Academy
Despised: 69/100

Hyoudou Family
Unconditionally Loved: 100/100

Well, at least my parents love me…

[Now, to finish off the tutorial, I'll help you acquire a skill and complete a quest!]

[Quest: Greet mom!
Go downstairs and greet your mom because it's morning! That's what any loved child does, right?
Rewards: +100 EXP]

Ok, so all I have to do is go downstairs and greet mom, right? That sounds fairly easy…

Alright! I've decided that I'm just going to accept this strange occurrence as my new life and try to not abuse it! But first, I must shower!


I was standing in my room, towel wrapped around my waist. Staring down at my uniform, expecting some kind of information window to pop up, I frowned. Eventually, I just put the damn thing on. Is it wrong to say I was expecting some kind of status boost, too?

Bathing in disappointment, however, I made my way downstairs.

"Good morning, mom." I simply said as I sat down at the dining table, my mother's back visible in the kitchen. She looked at me from over her shoulder, offered me a bright smile and greeted me back in the same way.

[Congratulations! You have completed a quest!
You said to your mom, "Good morning!" And she responded in kind. What a loving family!
Reward: +100 EXP, Observation Skill]

Huh, I got a skill…and a useful one at that. In fiction, in these kinds of stories in particular, everyone acquires an observation skill of some kind…

[You completed your first quest and levelled up! I also helped you get a skill at the same time! Isn't that amazing? Anyway, to activate Observation, all you need to do is stare at something really hard until some kind of information pops up!]

[Now, that was the tutorial, so have fun!]

As quickly as it had arrived, the obnoxious box vanished, leaving me to deal with my problems all by myself. Well, I didn't really have any problems so I guess I'm okay. But…what do I do now? There aren't going to be random monsters outside or anything, so how exactly do I level up? Do I just complete mundane quests?

Oh, right, completing that quest gave me a generous amount of EXP, so I levelled up. I wonder how I should distribute my points…

In the end, I decided to save my five points and make my way to school. I shouldn't waste my points as I had no clear goal in mind, so, knowing this, I'll try and create a goal I can work towards.


[Discovery: Kuoh Academy]

Huh, neat.

Right now, I was standing outside my school, waiting for…something. Not a person, but a something that may not even happen. It was silly, but it was better than nothing. I mean, a monster may attack the school and I might be the only one that would be able to stop it.

…What am I thinking? As if anything would attack this place. There'd be no reason to. Well, they might want to commit a genocide, but why start with innocent high school students? They've done nothing wrong…I think.

"Issei, what are you looking at?" That familiar voice was definitely Motohama's. My glasses wearing friend clapped his hand on my shoulder and looked in the same direction I was which was across the courtyard of the school.

"Nothing, really. Just admiring the scenery." Motohama gave me a strange look as I glanced at him, a frown on his face. I tilted my head to the side. "What? Is there something on my face?" Motohama shook his head and took off walking. I naturally followed behind him because he was my friend.

"Matsuda won't be here today. He's sick." Motohama said out of the blue.

"That's weird," I started, shoving a hand into my pocket, "That baldy is never sick."

"Yeah, it is weird. Do you think something happened to him?"

"No way," I said as we eventually entered the main building of the school, the high ceilings attracting my attention, "He's not stupid enough to get into a fight."

[Observation: Might be a ceiling]

Gee, thanks. It's not like that's obvious.

"Well, either way, it doesn't really matter. It means we get more time to peek between us." A cheeky grin found its way onto our faces as we turned to look at each other.

"Shall we begin now or save it for lunch time? Kendo club or gym?" Motohama held a hand to his chin in thought as we began our ascent up a flight of stairs. He stopped, turned around and jumped down the stairs two at a time, my heart leaping every time he landed as it seemed as if he'd slip and fall.

"Follow me, comrade!" He shouted, attracting the attention of the people who had surrounded us. Faster than I could say anything, the females gave us death stares and began whispering about us because of our less than stellar reputation, especially when I hesitantly followed Motohama's movements.

Oh well, I thought to myself, ignoring their stares and whispers. Even though I'm an outcast, peeping helps to dull the pain.


"Hehehe. This is some good stuff, Issei!"

[Skill acquired: Peeping]

"Yeah, it really is!"

[Skill acquired: Stealth]

"I'm surprised they haven't heard us yet."

"To be honest, they are pretty deaf sometimes."

"You're not wrong."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"You know, I feel as if what we're doing is kinda wrong."

"…"

"I mean, isn't this an invasion of their privacy?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"What the hell is wrong with you today, man!? Since when have you had a moral compass?"

"Dude, shut up! They'll hear us!"

"Ah. Crap. I'd like to say I'm sorry…?"

"…"

"So, uhh, want to play rock-paper-scissors to determine who has to be the sacrifice?"

"Sure. But if I lose, you owe me big time."

"Rock-paper-scissors!"

"Rock-paper-scissors!"

[Skill acquired: Rock-Paper-Scissors]

"It's my lucky day today! Issei…I'm sorry, buddy, but I have to go now…"

"Farewell, brethren. I'll see you in the afterlife."

"It pains me to leave you but…oh, crap, they're already here!? Good luck, man!"

"Wait, why aren't they going after you, Motohama!? Motohamaaaaaa! Dammit, why are you guys here already!?"

"What do you have to say for yourself this time, you lecher?"

"I've been ignored!? Ugh…in that case, I regretnothingandpleasesparemylife!"

[Congratulations! Due to suffering the wrath of a group of girls with kendo sticks, your VIT has increased by +1! Have you learnt from your actions?]

[Skill acquired: Kowtow]

[Skill acquired: Physical Endurance]

[Warning: Your HP has dropped below 10%]


My body was absolutely broken. After peeping for about a good five minutes and then having an existential crisis, the kendo team found out what was happening and beat me up as Motohama fled the scene of the crime.

I don't have to say it but…it hurt. A lot. They tried to hit me where the sun doesn't shine many times but my hands were always there to block the attacks. Because of that, it feels like my hands have broken into a million little pieces and any small movement hurts.

Well, the only good thing to come of that was the fact that I get to rest in the infirmary for a bit. The nurse is busty, sexy and exactly my type. The good thing is that she's not very old; I heard she only recently turned twenty-two, so there's not much of an age gap between us. We're fairly intimate, too.

"Issei, why did you have to go and peek on those girls again? You know you'll get hurt if you do." While I would simply respond with a cheeky grin and rub the back of my head in embarrassment, I felt a strong urge to say something out of character instead, my mouth seemingly moving on its own as my thoughts struggled to catch up with my strange desire.

"It's because the cohort has made me an outcast and it's the only way to release the stress of being bullied. On top of that, my work load for school has been steadily increasing and I'm starting to feel desperate for attention, considering the fact that no one really likes me."

Wow. Did I really just say something that…deep? It's not exactly philosophical because it's the truth, but it's weird for me to say such a serious thing, especially if it's on a whim…is this out-of-character speech a product of my new life!?

[Achievement Unlocked: Share your feelings with the school nurse]

"Oh my. I didn't release that was how you felt, Issei." Because I was lying down on a bed, the nurse sat down on the edge of it and gently rubbed my head. Her raven hair was smooth and long and her onyx eyes were captivating but…it isn't right for me to get all buddy-buddy with the school nurse, is it? Although she's a Yamato Nadeshiko, she's too good for me, dammit!

Averting my eyes from her gentle gaze, a blush spreading across my face, I forced myself to sit up. "…Please ignore what I just said. Although that is how I really feel, it's not as bad as I make it sound." Trying to twist around to stand up to leave, the nurse forced me to lay back down by placing a hand against my chest.

"Just rest here for a moment, Issei. I know how you feel because, believe it or not, I was a high school student once, so I know how important it is to do things that make you feel better. However, if it leads to you being badly beaten every time, it's probably not healthy…oh, I have a great idea! If peeping is how you release your stress, may I help you with a greater service?"

My heart began to beat faster as the nurse lay against my chest, her large melons squishing against me. All I could see was her cleavage and her pale, pink lips as her face inched closer to mine, but I managed to somehow resist my primal urges and gently push her off of me.

"Thanks for the offer, but no thank you. We shouldn't be doing stuff like that. Not when we're at school, anyway." The nurse giggled and, although she appeared to be a little hurt, she left me to go and sit at her desk. She probably had paper work to fill out and, as I stared down at a blue box that had appeared in front of me, I couldn't help but snigger.

[Skill acquired: Libido Suppression]

[Title acquired: Gentleman]

Me, a gentleman? I'm anything but a gentleman! Although, this title is better than Leader of the Perverted Trio

"Somehow, I can't help but think you have a point, Issei."

"While I feel as if I should apologise, I won't because I have nothing I need to feel sorry for." Is what I murmured in response, the nurse giggling once more. Swivelling around on her chair, the best kind of chair in existence (hint: it's an office chair), she offered me a sweet smile as she scooted just a tad closer to me.

"If you ever feel lonely in class, feel free to drop by whenever your teachers allow you to. Skipping class is bad behaviour and I shouldn't be promoting it, but I feel lonely in here during class times because I'm often alone. Don't you think we'd both benefit from such an arrangement?" I tilted my head to the side in confusion, my brow furrowed.

"Why give me this offer? I'm sure there are people who are more deserving of it."

"Because I know you'd respect my wishes, unlike the other male students." She started, her hands clasped together in her lap, "Your actions before show that."

"What do you mean by 'other male students', though?" The nurse seemed to hold back a laugh as I asked such an innocent question. Although I should know what the answer is, I'd like to believe that it's not what I thought it would be…

"Do you think I'm into girls, Issei?" And there it is. She just confirmed that she is on a sexual conquest and that conquest revolves around me, a perverted high school student. Should I be freaking out or not?

"Isn't it illegal to pursue your students…?" I trailed off as the nurse returned to her desk, a pen already in hand as she appeared to be scanning a document of some kind.

"It is. That's why I followed your advice to not force myself on you at school." I honestly have no counter to that. I mean, is she trying to sound like she's into that kind of stuff?

"Saying something like that, it sounds as if you're deliberately trying to date a student."

"Well, I'm not that old, am I? As I'm sure you've heard through rumours, I'm only twenty-two and you're…seventeen, I think. There's not much of an age gap and you're nearly an adult."

"While your desire to date me sounds wonderful, I'll have to decline. I don't want to put your job at risk." The nurse turned to face me once more and pouted like a child, her cheeks puffing up in an adorable way. I couldn't help but somewhat stare at her.

"That's mean, Issei. I never said I wanted to date you. I just wanted to help you release your stress."

"Being friends-with-benefits is even worse." I quickly responded in a monotone. However, the nurse finally began to laugh and, as I realised that she was stringing me along this whole time, I couldn't help but crack a grin myself. I mean, the conversation was weirdly fun, even if it was a little concerning at times.

"You're not wrong, Issei." She said moments after calming down, a bright smile on her face. "Will you take up my original offer, though?"

"Sure. I don't lose anything, do I?" I responded with a smile that was half as bright as the nurse's.

"Great! In that case, feel free to call me by my name. First or last, I'll leave it up to you." And with a quick wink, she once again abused her chair power to swivel around and continue her work. How many times has she done that?

Anyway, there are more pressing matters at hand…she wants me to call her by her first or last name and I don't even know them. Pretty pathetic if you ask me.

[Congratulations! Your relation with Airi Yamato (School Nurse) has improved! You are now friends!]

[Achievement Unlocked: Befriend the school nurse!]

Well, I know her name now. Thanks, video game life! You're mighty convenient at times.

As I sat up once more, stretching my arms out above my head, Airi glanced at me and spoke. "You should stay here and rest, Issei. You're hurt."

"Although I appreciate your concern, if I'm going to be skipping class from now on, I should really attend it when I can." Slowly standing up and wincing, every muscle in my body screaming in pain, Airi shot me a sideways glare that forced me to sit back down out of a fear of being…told off. Yes, I was scared of being told off by a Yamato Nadeshiko. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?

No, there isn't anything wrong with being scared of a beautiful Japanese woman, so I shook my head to dispel the fear and fell to the side, rolling onto my back with a sigh. "Okay then," I mumbled to myself, staring up at the ceiling, eyelids fluttering several times before they fully closed, my conscious mind slipping away at an alarming rate, "it's not my fault if I fall asleep and miss class, is it?"

[Skill acquired: Fear Resistance]

[Skill acquired: Procrastination]


Acquired Skills

Observation: Level 1/10 – 0.2% EXP
If you look hard enough, something might pop-up! Keyword:
might.

Peeping: Level 1/10 – 0.3% EXP
So you want to see the forbidden lands, huh? I'm not jealous. I promise.

Stealth: Level 1/10 – 0.15% EXP
Let's be sneaky ninjas! Although you'll use this skill for perverted reasons, it really does quieten your footsteps…maybe…

Rock-Paper-Scissors: Level 1/100 – 4.8% EXP
Huh? You want to play a game? If you win, there's a chance I have to do anything you want? Hah, there's no way you'll beat me!

Kowtow: Level 1/1 – MASTERED
The legendary art of the kowtow is something all Japanese people have mastered! Well, because you have this skill, I guess I can say you have a shred of decency.

Physical Endurance: Level 1/10 – 26% EXP
Wow, this makes it so your body can withstand a little more force! Huh? It's hard to level up because most attacks will kill you!?

Libido Suppression: Level 1/10 – 10% EXP
I'm pretty sure suppressing your libido as a teenager isn't healthy. I'm pretty sure it should be impossible for you to have this skill, too.

Fear Resistance: Level 1/10 – 10% EXP
Do you like horror movies? Me neither! Knowing that, let's try to not cower in a corner together as scary stuff happens.

Procrastination: Level 1/1 – MASTERED
When you have homework to do, you decide to waste time on video games and other things instead. Wait a minute…video games aren't a waste of time!

Acquired Titles

Leader of Perverted Trio
You're the leader of the Perverted Trio at Kuoh Academy. What else can be said?

Gentleman
You resisted the advances of a lonely girl because you didn't want to bring her any pain. Wait, you did something good for once!?

Acquired Achievements

Start the game!
Reward: The tutorial!

Share your feelings with the school nurse!
Because of the accumulated stress of your daily life, you got beat up while peeping and told the school nurse everything!
Reward: A bit of sexy time!

Befriend the school nurse!
You have resisted the advances of the sexy nurse and have befriended her! To be honest, I had no faith in your abilities…
Reward: Friendship with the school nurse!


There's not much to say here, I think.

Thank you for reading the first chapter of Rock-Paper-Scissors!