Chapter 17

He was out playing with Ashley, holding her hands as she staggered across the lawn, almost-but-not-quite walking on her own. She was developing quickly, not growing with unusual speed, but experiencing rapid maturation all the same. It wasn't parental pride prompting that assessment, either. Exposure to whatever there was of the Source in Helen's bloodstream had done something to Ashley in utero. She was smarter and stronger than a girl her age had any right to be. Her progress was not precisely unbelievable, but it certainly wasn't normal, either. At six months, she'd taken her first wobbly steps. Now, just a few short months later, she could walk many metres with her or James providing their hands for balance. She didn't even need support any more, but her balance was still a bit lacking at times. Clearly she was a normal baby in most respects, if a bit accelerated in others.

It was a relief in many ways, seeing how normal she was. She was a happy, even-tempered child, no doubt more so because her father seemed intent on anticipating her every need and filling it before she knew she had it. It was no wonder, then, that she was sweet and cheerful. She never even fussed over being put to bed. Then again, her days were so filled with play and exploring that it was no wonder that she willingly went to sleep at the end of it all. And, although she usually took her afternoon naps in the lap of either Helen or James, at night she preferred sleeping on her own. It really was the best of all worlds, even if Helen sometimes felt lonely sleeping by herself at night again.

She laughed as Ashley's legs finally gave out and she slumped a little, only not landing on her little bum because James was there supporting her. The baby giggled, throwing her legs in the air so James was holding her by the arms alone. Chuckling at that bit of playfulness, he straightened and swung her around in circles, earning even more laughter from Ashley. He swung her about a few more times, stopping and cuddling her against his chest when he saw that they had an audience.

"Helen!" he greeted her, carrying Ashley over. "Come and see mama, love," he told Ashley. "I'm sure she's had a busy morning studying those new papers grandpapa sent for us."

"Very busy," she agreed, smiling and bending to give Ashley a kiss and a nuzzle. Leaning up, she kissed James on the cheek, too, smiling against his bristles for a moment before drawing back. "You really do need to find the time to read what father has sent. He's found several whole new species in India..."

"And on to Africa next, I understand? We may never see him again at this rate," he chuckled. "But I'm glad he's having fun, and learning a great deal. Especially since he's sharing his knowledge with us. I still fully intend to see us both all as active participants in his work one day."

"It would certainly be more rewarding than a simple country medical practice."

"You're growing sick of the country, aren't you?" he asked gently. "Longing to return to London where nothing's ever boring?"

"A bit," she admitted, biting her lip. "But the London air wouldn't be good for Ashley. We should stay here for at least a few more years."

"You won't hear me object," he assured her, setting the baby down as she started to struggle in his arms.

Predictably, she started crawling straight for the neatly-manicured flower beds. Laughing at that, James scooped her up and turned her around so she was facing the grassy lawn. Undeterred, she crawled around in a half-circle, hauled herself to her feet and started toddling towards the flowers again.

"Troublemaker," he laughed, shaking his head and not trying to stop the little one.

"James!" Helen protested, grabbing his arm.

"Oh, there's nothing the least bit toxic there. Those German Chamomile might even calm her down if she tries to eat them."

She found herself sputtering a bit in answer to that, shaking her head and just giving him a Look. "You're as bad as she is. The gardener will be furious."

"The gardener is well-paid to keep the beds in order. He'll get over it," James assured her, chuckling as Ashley started tearing up a patch of flowering clover. "The honeybees may be less resigned..."

"You shouldn't let her be so destructive, James."

"It's not wanton destructiveness, Helen. She's just too young to understand that the flowers won't be back tomorrow. Give her a few years before you start expecting her to grasp causality. If she ever starts doing real harm, I'll be quick enough to correct her. In the meantime... May I borrow this?" he asked, bending and retrieving a flower from Ashley's pudgy fist. Ashley tilted her head, watching curiously as he plucked a spike from the flower head and brought it to her little rosebud lips. "No, don't chew, suck," he directed gently, smiling as she complied. "Sweet, isn't it?"

Ashley giggled in agreement and proceeded to try to pull apart another of the flowers.

"I didn't know clover was sweet," Helen commented, biting her lip.

"You grew up in the city. Flowers were too rare a commodity to be ripping apart for a drop of nectar. But the same nectar that attracts bees can be enjoyed by humans, too. Care to try?" he offered, bringing a tiny flower spike to her lips.

"This is silly," she protested with a smile, but obediently sucked. She made a surprised noise as just the faintest trace of sweetness hit her tongue, eyes widening.

"See? I used to do that all the time as a boy. And I suspect Ashley will do it a good deal herself, once she has the coordination," he added, chuckling as the young lady in question grew frustrated with trying to pull apart the flower head and just shoved the entire thing in her mouth instead.

"Oh, she's going to choke, James!" she protested, shaking her head.

"This is why parents keep a close watch on their little ones," he added as she spat out the flower with a confused look. "They'll put anything in their mouth, although they tend to be more selective about what stays there. But as long as we keep a careful watch, she won't have time to choke. And, if she should choke a little, well, that's not a difficult condition to remedy. We are both doctors, after all."

She bit her lip at that, since he did have a point, but had to argue, "I still would rather we not need to test those particular skills on our own daughter."

"And, God willing, we never will," he answered, scooping her up and tossing her in the air.

Ashley squealed happily at that treat, arms and legs flailing as he caught her and tossed her in the air again. A few tosses and some being swung in circles later, and she was starting to settle down, her shrieks of laughter replaced by contented cooing.

"Inside with you, then, little love," he declared, kissing her hair. "You've had a long morning, and it's time to rest so you'll be ready for round two."

Ashley cooed again, snuggling into his chest and closing her eyes.

Helen smiled and shook her head at that. "You do have a way with her."

"She's a little darling, and she's not hard to manage. Let's go put her to bed?" he suggested, wrapping an arm around Helen's waist and steering her inside.

"She is past due for her nap," she conceded, leaning against him as they walked.

"I suppose she is. We were having so much fun I lost track of the time. I'm surprised she didn't let me know she was hungry."

"Trying to eat your flowerbeds should have been a clue," she mock-chided, smiling warmly up at him.

He laughed softly at that, holding the door to the nursery for her. "Would you like me to wait outside while you feed her?"

"James, when in the past months have I ever made you wait outside?" Shaking her head, she sat down and reached for a blanket. "You've seen me naked, at my worst. There's hardly any reason why you shouldn't be present when I'm feeding Ashley. I'm not even that exposed."

"As long as you don't mind," he answered, carefully passing her the baby and then turning his back.

Smiling up at him, she exposed her breast and shifted Ashley into position, covering her with a blanket. "All right, James."

Turning, he sat down next to her, smiling warmly. "I'm glad you decided not to get her a governess. I feel like we're so much closer to her than we might otherwise be."

She made a soft noise of agreement, smiling and sighing happily. "I can't imagine paying someone to feed and change her, let alone play with her and tell her stories and all the rest."

"I even love it when she cries and fusses," he agreed, biting his lip. "Unless I was being disciplined, or it was a special occasion, my parents only saw me for half an hour every night before bedtime, and I'd be removed immediately if I misbehaved. I can't imagine only seeing her that often..."

"No, it wouldn't be right. I was raised by my father. I'll admit that there were times when it was awkward, but not many, and she won't have to deal with that. She'll have a mother's advice when she needs it."

"And what a role-model you'll be for her: strong and intelligent and not brooking disrespect from anyone..."

"And a father who is wise and compassionate, but who still knows how to fight and what to fight for," she answered quietly, biting her lip. "What more could a girl ask for in a father?"

"Or in a mother?" he countered gently, smiling warmly at her. "She won't want what we wanted for. A loving father like you had, a strong mother like we both wish we had... She'll be so loved, Helen. Her future will be a good one."

"Yes," she agreed with a wide smile of her own. "We'll make it a good one. She'll be normal, but not too normal."

"And smart; frequently too smart. We'll probably have trouble keeping up with her intellectually by the time she's twenty."

"Maybe that's how it should be. We spend the first two decades teaching her and the next two learning from her. We always did say that the world would be a better place if our parents' generation could only learn from ours."

"And now we're the parents," he agreed, gently stroking the back of Ashley's head. "What will we learn from you, little one? What truths do you have to teach us? Ones we can't yet begin to grasp, hmm?"

"No pressure, Ashley. Your father doesn't want much of you, only the wisdom of ages."

James gave an unrepentant smile at that, shrugging. "Give her time. She'll amaze us both. Children always do, I suspect, when their parents have the good sense not to be appalled by them instead."

"Do you think she'll appal us, then?"

"She's have ways we consider wild and friends we consider unworthy, just like every child ever." He chuckled and shrugged. "She's ours. Of course she'll do what she likes instead of what she's expected to do."

Her heart fluttered pleasantly, as it did every time James referred to Ashley as being theirs. Because he believed it in a way she'd never expected him to, in a way that didn't require him to convince himself. She was his child, not by a trick of biology, but by the law of love. She was his daughter simply because he recognized her as such. It was such an all-encompassing degree of loving acceptance that it made it impossible for her to fear for their future together, the three of them.

As good as his word, he hadn't exerted one bit of pressure on Helen to love him as more than a friend. He was open to her affection when she was able to bestow it and never asked for or seemed to expect more. But her affection for him was growing, slowly but surely. Two years ago, she wouldn't have recognized these feelings as hers for him. Now, though, as they raised a child together in such complete amity, it was hard to remember a time when she'd felt such strong affection for another. Not that she would ever stop loving the man John Druitt had been before the Source, but that didn't preclude a real, strong love for James Watson, either. John was no longer the love of her life, but instead simply her first love, a fond memory to be cherished without being allowed to eclipse or diminish what had come after.

"Oh no," James whispered. "You're wearing that expression."

She frowned in bemusement at the mock-gravity in his face. "What expression is that?"

"The one that tells me that you're thinking deep and important thoughts."

"Oh, that one," she murmured, biting her lip. "I... was thinking about you."

"Me?" he asked, looking a bit unsure. "Good things, I hope?"

"I loved seeing you with Ashley today," she told him, climbing to her feet and moving to lay the baby in her crib before tucking her breast away and turning to face James again. "Every time I see the two of you together, I feel like I love you a little more."

He actually blushed at that, bless him, and chuckled softly, shaking his head. "I'm not how I am with her because I'm trying to win your love, Helen. You know that," he told her gently.

"If you were trying to win me that way, it wouldn't work. But your unaffected love for her is beautiful to see, James. It's not a side of you I'm used to. But it is a side of you I'd like to see more of..."

He looked down, clearing his throat. "Well, then, it's lucky that we have many long years ahead of us."

"Many, many years," she agreed. "Now come kiss Ashley, and then we'll leave her to sleep for a few hours."

"Some nights, when I can't sleep, I sneak in here and watch her sleep instead."

"Really? I'm surprised we've never run into each other," she admitted.

"I, uh... sneak out when I hear you approaching," he answered, gesturing towards the far door. "Being with her, when you need to think..."

"It helps," she agreed, nodding. "Next time you hear me coming, don't sneak off, James. We can stand and watch our baby sleep together."

"I'd like that," he told her, biting his lip. "You're sure you wouldn't mind?"

"No. Of course I wouldn't mind. You can be sure, if I ever need time alone with her, I'll let you know. But I don't see that happening any time soon."

"No? Well, that's good to know." He smiled, bending and kissing the dozing baby. "Oh, you perfect creature," he whispered, shaking his head. "How are we so blessed?"

"James," she whispered, reaching for his hand, "it's time to stop asking why. We have this life now. It's ours to live. Let's just make the most of it?"

"Oh, Helen, I don't think anything could make me happier," he answered, sliding his fingers through hers and squeezing her hand as he smiled down at their sleeping baby.

The End