The Ashton Song
Isabella
Gosh, it disturbs me to see you Ashton
Looking so down in the dumps
Everyone here wants to be you, Ashton
Even when taking your lumps
No one in Luxbourne is as admired as you
You're everyone's favourite cop
Everyone's awed and inspired by you
And it's clear why you are on top
No one's slick as Ashton
No one's quick as Ashton
No one's pretty fly for an Asian guy like Ashton
For there's no man in town half as fluffy
Dorky, a real proper geek
You can ask my friends Zach and Rebecca
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on
No one holds hands like Ashton
Spams memes like Ashton
No one destroys kitchens when they cook like Ashton
Ashton
As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating
Cuddles
My, what a guy, that Ashton!
Send love and kisses
Send hugs and cuddles
Isabella
Bella was here and Ashton is a loser (just kidding about the loser part)
No one sings like Ashton
Creates art like Ashton
When it comes to crime nobody dukes it out like Ashton
For there's no one as stubborn or horny
Ashton
As you see I have great abs to spare
Isabella
Not a bit of him's dodgy or sleazy
Ashton
That's right and I always win in a death battle stare
Isabella
No one shoots like Ashton
Snogs hard like Ashton
In a rap battle, nobody raps like Ashton
Ashton
I especially suck at karaoke
Luke
Minus ten points for Ashton
Ashton
When I was a lad, I did forty push-ups a day
Every morning to help me get strong
And now that I'm grown, I do fifty press-ups a day
So I always look good in a thong
Isabella
No one talks smooth like Ashton
Saves the day like Ashton!
No one steals other people's food like Ashton
Ashton
I eat pizza for all of my energy
Isabella
Say it again
Who's the man among men?
Who's the super success?
Don't you know? can't you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
There's just one guy in town, who's got all of it down
And his name's A-S-H-O-L-E-F-R-E-Y
Ashton