Standard Disclaimer: All rights belong to those whose rights they belong to, primarily the glorious minds at Rooster Teeth, though quite namely not me. Don't own a thing.
ItsAlsoAGun: Hey guys! I've got the game fired up, come join!
da_Blondeshell: Oh I am so ready for this shit, I finally get to fight back, right, Rubbles?
ItsAlsoAGun: Yeah, Yang, but it involves a lot of sneaking around and stealth, too, if you wanna play that way!
kitten_ninja: Did someone say stealth?
ItsAlsoAGun: Of course that would get your attention.
kitten_ninja: Do not mock my preferences.
ItsAlsoAGun: Nobody's mocking you, Blakey. Is Weiss on?
ItsAlsoAGun: Weiss?
ItsAlsoAGun: Weeeeiiiiissssss
DustHeiress: Here, I'm here, I had trouble getting things set up, and the game had to download another update even though I JUST updated it last night…
ItsAlsoAGun: Yeah, it updates a lot. But it's in Beta, so there ya go. Lots of updates.
da_Blondeshell: Hey Rubes, wasn't there some other game you were wantin' us to try a few months ago? Paladins?
ItsAlsoAGun: Oh, yeah, it was awesome until they changed the mechanics with patch 64 and then it sucked. But this is way cooler!
kitten_ninja: What are these two modes here? Battle Royale and… Save the World?
ItsAlsoAGun: Right, so the first one's PvP and it's free, we're doing that one. You have to pay for PvE where you get to fight zombies.
da_Blondeshell: I wanna fight zombies!
ItsAlsoAGun: Yang. It costs money. We're doing the free mode. Everyone ready? Oh, hey, Blakey's already in my lobby!
kitten_ninja: ...Why am I a guy with a goatee?
ItsAlsoAGun: Yeah, don't worry about that.
kitten_ninja: I can't change him.
ItsAlsoAGun: No, you can't it's just… Don't worry about it, okay? The models are random, and you'll likely be someone else when you load into the game. I'm a male as well.
da_Blondeshell: I'm in! Annnnd I'm also a dude. Blond and buff, I like it.
ItsAlsoAGun: Weiss, you coming?
DustHeiress: I have no idea what I'm doing.
ItsAlsoAGun: Ok, no problem, click on the Battle Royale… and then there's gonna be lots of popup screens, they're annoying but just escape out of each until you get to the lobby. Make sure you're doing Battle Royale, ok? Then click on one of the plus signs and join me.
DustHeiress: Very well…
da_Blondeshell: There's Weissy! Wait, why is she the only girl on the team?
ItsAlsoAGun: Will you please stop worrying about that?
kitten_ninja: I think your character model is very handsome, Ruby.
ItsAlsoAGun: Oh, thanks, Blakey! But let's not worry about it, ok? Everyone click 'ready'!
da_Blondeshell: Done.
kitten_ninja: I am not prepared. But I clicked 'ready' anyway.
ItsAlsoAGun: Weiss?
DustHeiress: Yes, I am ready.
ItsAlsoAGun: Right, but you have to click on the 'ready' button.
DustHeiress: Oh, I see. There, now I am ready.
ItsAlsoAGun: Annnd here we go! Ok, we're spawned into a staging area, pretty much, can't fight anyone or do anything, but we're gonna hop onto the battlebus-
da_Blondeshell: I'm a different dude now!
kitten_ninja: I am female. With pretty hair. I am content.
DustHeiress: Wait, why am I a male now?
ItsAlsoAGun: CAN WE PLEASE NOT WORRY ABOUT THAT, IT'S RANDOM, OKAY?!
da_Blondeshell: Ok, ok, sheesh, no need to yell, Rubbles. I thought this was supposed to be a fun game.
DustHeiress: Blake why are you growling?
kitten_ninja: That's not me.
ItsAlsoAGun: ALRIGHT THEN we're loaded onto the Battlebus. Hit 'M' to see the map. I put a marker down, that's where we're all gonna go together, right? You can see the marker up on the compass above the screen.
DustHeiress: This seems very complicated.
ItsAlsoAGun: When I say to, press 'space' to jump, you're free-falling until you open your glider.
da_Blondeshell: I'm loving this Battlebus. I want one, a bus on a balloon.
ItsAlsoAGun: Get ready everyone!
kitten_ninja: I have concerns…
ItsAlsoAGun: And JUMP!
DustHeiress: Wait, how do you jump?
ItsAlsoAGun: Spacebar, Weiss! Hit the spacebar!
DustHeiress: Oh, right… Ok, so now I'm falling to my death.
ItsAlsoAGun: Spin around until you're pointed at the little blue triangle at the top, head in the direction. Your glider automatically opens when you get closer to ground. Weiss, you may want to hit the spacebar again, you're so far out. It will take you longer but we'll wait.
kitten_ninja: What is this storm that the screen says is about to spawn?
ItsAlsoAGun: Right, so we have to keep moving into the circles on the map as the storm moves in and forces us all in together. We pick up materials and guns and ammo and sneak as much as possible, get to the end and try to stay alive. I'll show you how to build stuff when we get down.
da_Blondeshell: Izzat what the pickaxe is for?
ItsAlsoAGun: Exactly! See, easy!
kitten_ninja: I still have concerns. Also, I am on the ground. I see some green shining things?
ItsAlsoAGun: Go grab 'em!
kitten_ninja: Very well. I now have an assault rifle. Bring it.
da_Blondeshell: (laughs) Listen to you, Blakey, bein' all badass… I'm down too now and OH SHIT I GOT A TACTICAL SHOTGUN YAHSSS QUEEN!
kitten_ninja: Easy there, Blondeshell. Ruby, what do I use my pickaxe on?
ItsAlsoAGun: Anything, really, you can gather wood and metal and stone. Here, I got some stuff, lemme show you… So I hit 'Q' and that brings up the build menu, pretty self-explanatory… go ahead and play with it, see, I made a ramp, now I can climb up here and open this chest…
da_Blondeshell: Is that what that noise was?
ItsAlsoAGun: Yep, and… Ohhh, neat! I got an epic sniper rifle… with only five shots… and a crappy shotgun. And some bandages.
kitten_ninja: I found a shield potion. Is that good?
ItsAlsoAGun: Yeah, absolutely, drink it up. Damage will hit your shield first. Hey, Weiss, where are you?
DustHeiress: I am floating still.
ItsAlsoAGun: You're STILL in the air?!
DustHeiress: Yes, you told me to. I'm directly above you.
ItsAlsoAGun: (sighs) Ok, so hit the spacebar again and drop. Your glider will open on its own.
kitten_ninja: There are people here!
ItsAlsoAGun: What? Where? Where?
kitten_ninja: Over here!
ItsAlsoAGun: Blake I need compass directions… Oh, ok I see you now, get under cover, maybe they haven't seen you… yet… Yang, why are you charging them?
da_Blondeshell: LEEEROOOYYY JENKINS!
ItsAlsoAGun: Oh my fucking Oum, Yang, you can't just…
da_Blondeshell: Ruby! Language! Also, I'm dead. Wow, I got hit, like, three times and I didn't hit anyone.
ItsAlsoAGun: Right. Blake? We run like the wind.
kitten_ninja: Right behind you.
DustHeiress: Wait, where am I going? I'm still floating down! Oh, now I'm down, and… AHHH!
ItsAlsoAGun: Weiss?
DustHeiress: I'm dead. I didn't even see who shot me, but I was dead as soon as my foot touched the ground. Oh, now I'm spectating you, Ruby.
da_Blondeshell: Cool, I'm spectating Blakey. Um, what's what purple wall thingie?
ItsAlsoAGun: That's the storm. And that's why we're running.
kitten_ninja: Oh!
da_Blondeshell: Aww, Blake died! Wait, no you're crawling… oh, nevermind, you're dead.
kitten_ninja: Yes, thank you, Yang, I noticed.
DustHeiress: Ruby, where are you running to?
ItsAlsoAGun: Away from the storm, away from all the people, other than that, no clue. Oh, crapbaskets, this is Tilted Towers, I don't wanna be here…
kitten_ninja: Why not?
ItsAlsoAGun: Because everyone else will already be here… Dang, sniper fire! Lemme build some cover… Right! You messed with the wrong player, buddy! I got a sniper rifle of my own! Mwahaha… Oh.
DustHeiress: Are you dead?
ItsAlsoAGun: Yup.
da_Blondeshell: Headshotted?
ItsAlsoAGun: Headshotted.
kitten_ninja: I didn't even get to use my assault rifle.
ItsAlsoAGun: Alright, well… now you know the mechanics, right? Ready to play for real?
da_Blondeshell: Hell yeah.
kitten_ninja: Most definitely.
DustHeiress: I suppose. How many other people were there on that map?
ItsAlsoAGun: It's a one hundred-player map.
DustHeiress: One… hundred?
ItsAlsoAGun: Yeah, but if you be stealthy you won't see most of 'em. Ready? Everyone click the 'ready' button, you too, Weiss. Awesome, and now we're spawned in!
kitten_ninja: Oh, how nice. We're all female players this time.
da_Blondeshell: Sweet, here we go again… Gimme a landing target, Rubbles, I'm ready to cause a ruckus.
ItsAlsoAGun: Stealth, Yang! Ok, marker is set, it's red this time. We'll wait longer to jump. And when I say 'jump', we all hit the spacebar, right, Weiss?
DustHeiress: I don't know why you're singling me out.
ItsAlsoAGun: Weiss!
DustHeiress: Yes, okay!
ItsAlsoAGun: Annnd JUMP! Lemme know when you reach the bottom, just point straight down.
da_Blondeshell: I'm freeee…. Free fallin'...
kitten_ninja: Please don't sing, Yang.
ItsAlsoAGun: Ok, I'm landing on top of this tower thingie… Oh, sweet, this is the prison, always lots of fun stuff in here. Let's go, team, get in, grab the good stuff and get out!
da_Blondeshell: I'm down! Running inside the main building…
kitten_ninja: I am also on the ground, on the other side of the main building. I'll meet you inside, Yang.
ItsAlsoAGun: Weiss?
DustHeiress: ...I am on a hill.
ItsAlsoAGun: A… hill?
DustHeiress: Yes, precisely, a hill. There's a cute little house up here, and-
da_Blondeshell: Are you being serious right now, Weiss?
DustHeiress: I swear to Dust, Yang, if you call me a useless lesbian again I will shoot you.
kitten_ninja: I thought there was no friendly fire in this game?
DustHeiress: Who said anything about in the game?
da_Blondeshell: Well, that escalated quickly.
ItsAlsoAGun: Weiss why did you not drop down with us, where are you? Oh, ok, just north of us, cool. See what you can find around the house, and we'll meet up with you… Right, storm is spawning, you can see the circle on the map. We need to get inside there within two and a half minutes. Grab what you can, we're bookin' it.
kitten_ninja: Moving out.
da_Blondeshell: Yeah, me an' Blakey are running together. Partners!
ItsAlsoAGun: Ok, then, follow me… Call out what you picked up!
da_Blondeshell: I got another green tactical shotgun… ohhh my precious… and a revolver. Oh, and a shield potion, I'm gonna drink that as soon as we stop.
kitten_ninja: I have a blue silenced submachine gun. I like it very much. Also, a white-colored burst assault rifle. Is that bad?
ItsAlsoAGun: Well, yeah, those are kinda shitty, but better than nothing since the submachine gun is short-range only. I don't like SMGs, personally, but you might. So, I got a sweet purple assault rifle with a scope, a crappy shotgun, some grenades… a med kit… Oh, and I took some small shield potions already, I'm at half strength. Weiss?
DustHeiress: I am down on the ground ahead of you, just inside the circle. I have… a crossbow? It's blue.
ItsAlsoAGun: Oh, nice! Those are silent and never run out of ammo. Kinda like a sniper rifle, right-click to zoom… they take awhile to load. What else?
DustHeiress: A green burst assault rifle and a green pistol. And something else, I can't tell what… it… AHHHH!
ItsAlsoAGun: Weiss! What's wrong, are you under attack?
DustHeiress: No, it's… it's… a thing!
da_Blondeshell: A thing?
kitten_ninja: Guys… why is there a bush running around up ahead?
DustHeiress: I'M A CUTE LITTLE BUSH THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY!
ItsAlsoAGun: (sighs) Yeah, so it's camouflage, you get hit and it goes away. But yes, Weiss, congratulations. You're a bush.
DustHeiress: (incoherent squealing)
da_Blondeshell: She's really enjoying that, isn't she?
DustHeiress: (incoherent squealing intensifies)
ItsAlsoAGun: Right, guys, we gotta get going. There's only thirty-two… nope, thirty people left, but the circle just shrank again. Let's head a little further north, and keep together. No running off and charging the enemy, right, Yang?
da_Blondeshell: Yeah, yeah…
DustHeiress: I shall take point, for I am stealthy! Also, I am a bush!
kitten_ninja: You do that.
ItsAlsoAGun: Let's head a little to the left, here… look at your compass, point to 345, it's just next to the big 'N', we'll skirt this area where folk have built up...
da_Blondeshell: Still with ya, Rubbles. Hey, there's only fourteen left, that's good, right?
ItsAlsoAGun: Yep, let's just keep together and stay on the lookout for-
kitten_ninja: I see people running!
ItsAlsoAGun: Where? Where?
kitten_ninja: Erm… at sixty on the compass?
ItsAlsoAGun: Crap, I see 'em, they're heading the same way... Okay, Weiss, your time has come to shine! Take them out with your crossbow, we'll hide behind the trees and back you up!
DustHeiress: But… But if they shoot at me, my pretty little bush will go away!
ItsAlsoAGun: Weiss! Shoot at the bad guys!
DustHeiress: (whines) Fine… goodbye, my lovely piece of shrubbery, you will not be forgotten… Oh! Oh, I hit one!
ItsAlsoAGun: They don't see you, keep at it!
DustHeiress: Hahahaha, fear me and my deadly crossbow! Your automatic weapons mean nothing! Nothing, I tell you! Uh-oh, I think they saw me.
da_Blondeshell: Yep, they're running towards us now. Do we engage, commander?
ItsAlsoAGun: Weapons free, soldier. Fire at will.
kitten_ninja: You two are such nerds.
da_Blondeshell: Oh, like you're one to talk… Ohh, I hit one! Wait, Ruby, are you down already?
ItsAlsoAGun: Yeah, they've got a sniper, watch it. I'm crawling away-
DustHeiress: (screeching) THEY SHOT MY BUSH!
da_Blondeshell: Look, I've really been refraining from making the dirty jokes here but if you keep this up-
DustHeiress: REVENGE SHALL BE MINE!
ItsAlsoAGun: Well, damn. That was actually pretty impressive.
da_Blondeshell: Until she died in a blaze of glory. You have fun, there, Princess?
DustHeiress: I have no regrets.
da_Blondeshell: Damn, I'm down as well… Oh, now, that was uncalled for, you didn't need to 'nade me when I'm down.
ItsAlsoAGun: It's up to you, now… Blake… What are you doing, Blakey?
kitten_ninja: Building.
da_Blondeshell: You're building a fort in the middle of the field.
kitten_ninja: Yes. I am getting quite good at this. Look, I even have a roof.
ItsAlsoAGun: Buuuut they keep blowing it up.
kitten_ninja: And I will keep building.
da_Blondeshell: This is… This is funny as hell, I can just feel the irritation coming from that other team, they can't even get close to her.
DustHeiress: Wait, where did you go now, Blake?
ItsAlsoAGun: She escaped? How did she escape?
kitten_ninja: I am kitten ninja. I am the shadows. I am… Oh, damn.
da_Blondeshell: You're dead.
kitten_ninja: I keep forgetting about those snipers.
ItsAlsoAGun: Yeah, they get ya every time… Oh, hey, our team finished in third place! Awesome work, you guys! Wanna play again?
DustHeiress: I am done for the evening. I must go mourn my lost bush.
da_Blondeshell: I swear, I'm gonna bite through my cheek here…
DustHeiress: But I am not adverse to playing this again. I actually… had fun. Thank you, Ruby.
ItsAlsoAGun: You betcha, partner! Catch you later!
DustHeiress has disconnected
da_Blondeshell: Yep, I'm out too, that was hella fun, Rubbles. Definitely up for another time. 'Later, all!
da_Blondeshell has disconnected
ItsAlsoAGun: (happy sigh) Well, at least that went better than Dead by Daylight, right, Blakey?
kitten_ninja: Mmm. Ruby?
ItsAlsoAGun: Yeah?
kitten_ninja: Can we… keep playing?
ItsAlsoAGun: Absolutely! There's a duo mode so we can be a team of two!
kitten_ninja: Excellent. I must practice both my stealth skills and my building skills.
ItsAlsoAGun: (laughs) Sounds like a plan! Let's queue up!
A/N: Sort of a spinoff from RWBY by Daylight, though obviously, you don't have to have read that one first. As a side note, the girls are all scattered for school break when they're playing.
I find Fortnite strangely addictive, even if I totally and completely suck at combat. And building during combat. And… yeah, I'm not really all that good at it, but it's fun. I follow CaliopeGrant (my talented Beta for this story) around and try to stay hidden as long as possible. Usually, the first indicator that we've found an opposing team is when I die.
Stay shiny!