DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth.

A/N: No, the title is not a typo. You'll see why at the end. Also the first part might seem like angst, but this IS a crackfic and it's all a setup for the punchline.

Also WARNING that the joke here is in EXTREMELY POOR TASTE.

~ Bird's on Roofs ~

"Are you just going to sit there and drink?"

"Well, yeah... we are at a bar."

"You could have done that at home!"

"Hey, you're the one who wanted to go on a date."

The bowl of peanuts beside them on the bar rattled ominously as Glynda struggled to rein in her temper as she wondered, If he didn't want to go on a date, then why didn't he just say so instead of agreeing to it and then pulling this passive-aggressive bullshit?

She continued to sulk while her boyfriend sat beside her with that stupid smug look on his face. Was it possible to drink sarcastically? Because if so, he was doing it.

"I didn't order this," Glynda said when the bartender set a glass full of amber liquid down in front of her.

"It's from the guy at that table in the corner," the bartender responded.

"Take it back," she said, not bothering to so much as glance in the direction of her not-so-secret admirer.

"Whoa, wait," Qrow said, putting his hand over the glass to block the bartender from retrieving it. "You're going to turn down free alcohol?"

"You say that like it's crime."

"Crime? Not exactly. But it's definitely a party foul."

Glynda sighed. Not that she found jealousy attractive... but was he seriously more concerned about alcohol being wasted than about the fact that someone else was making a move on her while the two of them were quite clearly together?

"Fine," she snapped. "You can have it, then."

"How'd the date go?" Taiyang asked, as Glynda unceremoniously dropped the unconscious Qrow onto the couch.

"How does it look like it went?" she snapped. "He drank the whole time, we argued, and it certainly wasn't any fun for either of us!"

Tai knew both of them well enough to guess exactly how things had gone down, without being given more details than that.

"Don't birds normally like being on roofs?" he said.

It took a moment for the meaning to sink in, and Taiyang almost regretted what he'd said when he saw Glynda's expression morph from confusion to rage.

"That is one of the most distasteful jokes I have ever heard." Then, after a brief pause: "Tell it again when he can actually hear you."

~end~