Two days.

48 hours.

That's long how it had been since May had heard any news from Peter. She knew that he was up in space, she had seen the footage of the space craft in downtown New York. News reporters claiming that Spiderman had been spotted on the outside of it as it rose toward the sky. The coffee cup she had been holding had fell to the ground, shattering in pieces, which was how her heart had felt when she had learned the news that he was up there.

Please God let him be okay, I can't lose someone else.

Here she was now, two days later, sitting on her couch watching the news, waiting for any piece of information that could be useful.

Is he safe? Is he –

No, she shook her hear, hair falling around her face, coming out of her messy bun. Don't think like that, you can't

She jerked out of her thoughts as the news station showed more footage of the spaceship. Fingers fumbling with the volume button as she tried to turn it up.

She listened, frozen in place as the news reporter spoke, heart beating fast in her chest.

"The avengers are back on earth, arriving less than an hour ago. They were in space fighting against Thanos, –"

They were back

She got up and rushed to her phone, heart dropping as she saw no missed calls or text messages. She tried rationalizing, maybe he's busy, maybe he doesn't have access to a phone, anything that could explain why he hadn't tried to reach her yet. But she knew that he would not waste a minute trying to reach her. He knew how she got, especially since Uncle Ben.

She took a deep breath in and moved the hair out of her face. There must be something she could do, she was done with waiting. She had already done enough of that.

Stark

If anyone knew where her boy was it was him. She grabbed her phone and scrolled down trying to find the number, about to press the call button when there was a knock on her door. Flashbacks of the night when Ben died surfaced to mind, there had been knocking that night too.

She swallowed down her fear and swung the door open. Tony Stark himself stood there, looking worse for wear, his arm in a cast and the colour under his eyes a dark purple colour. Her eyes glanced behind him down the corridor, hoping that Peter was hiding behind him.

"May", Tony started, getting her attention as her eyes snapped back to face. He looked so tired, his eyes lacking their usual spark. He looked away quickly; the guilt unbearable as he saw the worry on her face. He cleared his throat and continued, "you should take a seat"

"Oh" She breathed out, going still. May knew what those words meant. The police had told her the same thing before telling her about Ben.

Tony guided her to seat, the best he could with one functioning arm. She let him, hardly controlling her motions. She couldn't focus on anything, thoughts running through her mind.

Please just be hurt, please don't be dead. Please.

Tony watched her break down as he told her the news. Her denial, followed by anger and finally acceptance. Her boy was not coming back. She yelled at him to get out through her sobs. He would never forget her words,

You were supposed to protect him. You promised me you'd take care of him.

2 months later

May stared at the door. His door. She hadn't gone in since she had learned that he had died. She had let Ned go in a couple weeks ago, to pick up some things that he had forgotten from pervious times he had been over. He had come over with a bag full of Tupperware, courtesy of his mother. He had asked her if she needed anything, if he could help with anything. She could see that he was trying to stay strong in front of her. She let him go into Peter's room, closing the door so she could give him some privacy, trying not to break down herself as she heard Ned's cries though the walls.

Her hand hesitated on the doorknob, wondering if she was ready to do this yet. She remembered doing the same thing after Ben had died, leaving his clothes folded on the laundry machine, leaving his shoes at the front entrance months after he was gone. Peter and her had gotten into a fight about it. Peter yelling through his tears that it wasn't healthy; to pretend like he was still there.

She had tried to not let herself fall into that state again, cleaning up Peter's items that were scattered around the apartment, but she hadn't been able to bring herself to go into his room.

She faltered as she entered the room; everything looked exactly the same, the sheets on the bed messily undone, the star wars and avengers posters hanging on the walls. She sat down on the bed and picked up a sweater that was lying on the end of the bed. Squeezing it tight in her hands she couldn't stop the tears from falling.

This isn't fair

Everywhere she went was a reminder of him. Memorials for the fallen members of the avengers scattered the city. People all around her were grieving for their fallen heroes. She remembers almost breaking down first time she had seen one of them, because she didn't want Spiderman back, she just wanted her boy back.