their velocity

A/N: Modern AU, though it's just the setting that really changed. Aliens and Amanto are still a thing. There are minimal alterations to canon, and you'll discover them as you read.

chapter one

His apartment has street-level windows. His couch faces them instead of the television, which he only turns on for background noise.

There are entire days Sougo spends sitting on that couch to watch people's shoes pushing against the pavement then falling back down. Or trash and leaves chasing each other across the sidewalk. Sometimes needles of rain falling and forming puddles, then small boots stomping, muddy water splashing on the windows.

Everything outside is tinted with the light orange of approaching dusk when he sees black boots accompanied by a distinctly pale pair of ankles peeking from under the red hem of a cheongsam. They stop. One pale leg kicks the owner of the black boots in the knee, then a brief scuffle ensues. They eventually stop, face each other briefly, then walk away.

One moment passes after another. He has a feeling that any moment now, something that will make his shitty day even shittier will arrive.

Someone knocks on the door. Then an irritatingly familiar voice: "Sadiiiist!"

And there it is.

He drags himself up and turns the television off. He skirts the wide table laden with junk food, takeout and soda cans, and steps over a shattered bottle of wine he has completely forgotten all about until he sees the glass shards on the floor.

He can clean it up. But then again one of his guests can also step on the glass, tear their foot open, and bleed to death. Or just get really injured and get sent to the hospital so he can be left alone. That's okay, too. He isn't really picky.

More knocks. "Souichiro-kun!"

"It's Sougo," he mutters, shuffling towards the door.

"Gin-chan, he could be dead, yes?!"

"Oi, don't say that with such a happy voice! He can haunt us, you know! He can peep on you when you're in the shower, and Gin-san won't be there to protect your virtue!"

Sougo yanks the door open. "What virtue? It's just a gorilla, isn't it?"

She whips her umbrella at his face, but the boss grabs it, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her away.

She gnaws on his arm like the brat that she is. "Forget it, Gin-chan! Let's leave! He is fine, yes? I told you we should not have worried!"

"You were the one who wanted to drop by, you damn brat!"

"I was not worried, yes?! I just wanted to finish him off, that's all!"

Suddenly exhausted, Sougo sags against the doorframe. "Boss, it's like what China said. I'm fine. Bye."

He begins to close the door, but China chooses that moment to break free, and she launches herself at him with all the combined force of a dozen horses' kicks.

He slams against the floor. The world wobbles in place and he swears, blinking, sitting up. He finds himself face to face with an ape.

"What the fuck are you doing, China?"

Over her shoulder, he sees the boss walk in, his pinky in his nose. His dead eyes don't change at all as he takes in the state of his apartment.

China girl puts her hand over Sougo's mouth and looks around, and he watches her haughty expression slowly fall off her face. His stomach sinks when he realizes that the two idiots are legitimately worried about him, which makes him wonder just how pathetic he must seem.

"I was wondering why that mayo addict was so fussy about you not coming to work and not trying to assassinate him, but I guess sometimes he has a point, eh, Sofa-kun?"

He wrenches her hand off him. "It's Sougo."

China looks back at him, her eyes shining with a conviction that only mildly terrifies him because it means she has made an idiotic decision of the highest order and no force in the universe will be able to change her mind.

"Gin-chan, you can leave me here."

Now what the fuck does that mean?

"Huh? Leave our Kagura-chan in this pig sty? In the company of someone as twisted as Souichiro-kun? Do you know what your baldy of a father will do to Gin-san? Huh? Do you?"

His gaze flickers between them. It's fucking Sougo, goddammit, and what the hell are they talking about?

"You were looking for someone to look after me while you are gone, yes?" She pats his head. "Well, here he is."

Wait, wait, wait. "Who the fuck is going to look after what?"

They both ignore him. "Haa? Wasn't I going to drop you off at Otae and Shinpachi's place? Or was that just my imagination? Did I imagine that entire conversation, Kagura-chan? Am I that old? Am I going bald?"

"It is settled, yes? You can bring my things now, Gin-chan."

"China, what the hell—"

Her palm smacks over his mouth again. "Silence. You have not tried to kill or arrest me, yes? It is not like you at all." She turns to the boss. "Do not worry, Gin-chan. I will not let him do lecherous things to me, yes?"

As if he wants to. Sure, most people who lack common sense and good taste think she's pretty, but he doesn't. At all.

The boss sighs. "Now, look here, Kagura. I cannot leave a 16-year-old girl with a grown-ass man—"

"Gin-chan." China jumps to her feet and approaches the boss, then whispers something in his ear. The boss narrows his eyes at her, then mutters something back.

Sougo stands. He doesn't want her anywhere near him. He doesn't want anyone near him. All this bickering is draining him and he wants to go back to his couch and watch a thin sliver of the world move without him.

Hijikata-san has told him repeatedly that it's 'unhealthy', that he needs 'more effective coping mechanisms'. What, like not sleeping, not eating, working himself to the bone, and chain-smoking 24/7 (not an exaggeration this time)?

Kondo-san is worried about you, idiot, Hijibaka said. Go see a fucking shrink.

You go see a fucking shrink.

I am seeing a fucking shrink.

Sougo did not know what to say to that.

Now he shambles back to his couch, ignoring the two, and nearly steps on the shattered bottle he has completely forgotten about. At this rate, he'll tear his own foot open. Maybe he should clean it up. He stares down at it, trying to decide.

A white head slides into his line of sight and begins picking up the glass shards. A red head joins it, muttering about how stupid chihuahuas shouldn't live alone.

"What are you doing?" Sougo asks no one in particular.

"Gin-san will allow this," says the boss as if he hasn't spoken. He stands up and looks around for the trash can, which is basically the entire apartment. Sougo stares at him helpfully. "But there are rules, alright?"

"Alright, Gin-chan!" China straightens, too, and joins her kinda-father in his quest to seek the trash can.

"I'm not talking to you! I'm talking to Souko-kun."

"That was close, boss. It's Sougo."

"First! No perverted thoughts, words, acts, objects, and/or events shall take place within fifty feet of our Kagura-chan."

China gives up quickly. She walks into the kitchen and he hears her toss the glass shards into the sink. She comes back, looking pleased with herself. "Gin-chan, what if I want to read porn?"

"DON'T SAY THAT WORD!" The boss follows her example and tosses the debris into the sink, too.

"I'm a developing young woman, yes? I need to know such things!"

Sougo rubs his face. He wants to lie down. "Boss, I haven't even agreed to this."

"Of course you agree to this, sadist! You like me, yes?"

"Fuck no, I don't. I daydream about chopping you into pieces and cooking you into stew, China girl."

"SECOND!" The boss walks back into the living room. "No flirting, especially in front of Gin-san!"

"I bet I am a delicious stew!"

"You're fucking poisonous, China."

"I am a delicious poison!"

"You make people shit from their mouths and throw up from their assholes."

"You only say that because you haven't tasted me yet!"

"Oh? Do you want me to, China?"

"I SAID NO FLIRTING!"

China raises her middle finger at Sougo and he returns the gesture.

The boss takes a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose, and folds his arms. "Lastly, Sophia-kun." His eyes are flat and empty of emotion. "Do go out sometimes, would you?"

He does go out sometimes. Every few days or so. To sit on the steps in front of the building and watch everything passing in front of him.

"Boss, I don't know where you get these names from, but it's Sougo and where the hell is she even staying? There isn't a spare r—"

He stops because there actually is and he keeps forgetting (denying) it. The boss and China girl are both looking at him, and there is no trace of pity in their gazes. They simply wait.

He drags his palm across his face. He is so tired and he has just run out of fucks to give. He throws himself onto the couch, closing his eyes. Whatever the hell it is he needs to do to prove to them he's fine and he can be left alone, he's all for it. He'll deal with the consequences later.

"I'm not fucking cleaning anything for you, China."

He is answered with dead silence. Then footsteps. The stench of sukonbu and her fragrance. The rustle of clothing with each small movement. It is not a sound people usually pay attention to, but it engraves the image of red fabric sliding across pale skin into his mind. After weeks of grays and black-and-whites, it is the first visual in his head that has this much color.

When he opens his eyes, he sees her crouching in front of him, her small face all scrunched up with obvious concern that she has so valiantly attempted to repress.

"What the fuck, sadist?" she asks, her voice impossibly quiet, then she sits down on the floor and demands that the boss bring her stuff to her new temporary home right now.

"Fuck you and fuck off, China," he mumbles, but she just turns her back on him, leans against the couch (so he can touch her if he just moves his arm a little closer), and asks him where he hides his porn.

#

A/N: Long stories are not my strength because I'm bad at pacing. Practice is the only way to get better, so here we are. Alsoo. Each chapter will take me around a week to write.