The first big change Beach City experienced was its new mayor.

Jamie decided he wanted to be there for the debate, to see what Dewey would say in his defense and what solutions and rebuttals Nanefua would offer. Sadie would be taking her break from work to watch it as well. If Jamie wanted to attend, he'd need to finish his route early, though.

When Barbara brought over the food that night, she and Sadie both tried to convince him to stay home just one more day, but he'd held his ground on the stance. If Sadie was already back to work, then he should be too. He loved his job, and it would also provide a way to ask everyone around town how they were doing.

Kevin had been present when Barbara and Sadie came over - it had been by Kevin's own suggestion and insistence that he stay another night, just for Jamie's sake. He didn't want to leave him alone too soon before he was ready again.

The offer had been so heartening to Jamie, he almost didn't know what to say. Thankfully the kiss he'd given Kevin seemed to convey his thankfulness well enough.

That morning as he got ready for work, with his now newly sewn back together mailbag, complimentary from Barbara, he'd been careful not to wake Kevin, who'd passed out on the couch. It must have been so different than how he was used to sleeping, given his expensive tastes, but he hadn't complained, surprisingly. Though he had cheekily suggested they share Jamie's bed, which the young actor was quick to inform him would not be big enough, so to get the thought out of his head.

It hadn't stopped Kevin's pouting, though.

Still, Jamie had been overjoyed to have him stay over again, and he trusted leaving Kevin alone in his apartment as he prepared to leave, though not before checking on him one last time, making sure the quilt usually folded over the back of his couch was draped warmly over Kevin's sleeping frame and pressing a feather light kiss to his cheek.

The sun was shining brightly in the sky overhead, making the sea glitter like diamonds as Jamie began to make his way over to Steven's house for his first delivery. Down on the far end of the shore, Jamie could see the stage being set up for the debate later that afternoon. They had revamped the Beach-A-Palooza stage for the occasion, he noted.

At first, Jamie was fine. Nothing was wrong. But the nearer he became to Steven's house, with the stretch of white beach laid out before him like a winding path, the more aware he became of a deep sense of unease beginning to creep up his spine.

He pushed forward, ignoring the feeling as best he could, but it persisted. Until only a few minutes later he was frozen to the spot, completely unable to move.

Unknowingly, he'd begun to twist at the strap on his bag once more, and he became aware an acute tightness in his chest.

His breathing began to falter, coming out in shallow pants while his heart beat grew irregular. That sickly sense of nausea returned, as well as the unwelcomed lightheadedness, and a cold sweat began to trickle down his back despite the blistering heat of the sun.

He couldn't move forward, and the closest he'd come to progressing any closer to Steven's house was pacing anxiously. Too much, this was too much - he felt overwhelmed, like a wave had crashed over him.

He knew what this was; this was a panic attack, and he knew why he was having it as well.

This was exactly where he'd been taken.

No amount of convincing himself that he'd be fine, and that there was nothing to worry about was enough to make him move any farther.

He should have listened to Barbara, he shouldn't have started working today. Just Kevin mentioning walking along the beach the day prior had frightened him, why did he think he could handle himself now?

Jamie bit his lip nervously, forcing himself to stop wringing the strap of the mailbag should he tear its stitching. He wasn't one to give up, he didn't want to walk away from this. He needed to face his fear, he just...

He had an idea. He just hoped Kevin wouldn't be annoyed.

Jamie took out his phone, chewing on his thumbnail anxiously. He could text Kevin, that way he wouldn't hear his own voice shake, but Jamie needed to hear him. Before he could talk himself out of it, he dialed the familiar number, hugging his stomach as he waited for the other man to pick up.

When Kevin did finally answer, his voice was drowsy and he slurred slightly - Jamie would make it up to him for waking him later. Right now he couldn't afford to feel guilty as well.

"What's up?" Kevin yawned into the phone, rubbing his eyes as he sat up on the couch, stretching. It wasn't the most comfortable place to fall asleep.

"Hey. Are you, is it, is it okay to talk?"

The way Jamie's voice came out so tight and small, how it quivered; Kevin immediately could tell something was wrong, despite the cobwebs of sleep still clinging to his consciousness.

"You sound weird. You okay?" Kevin asked, frowning.

"Uh, not really, no." Jamie admitted. If he'd mustered up the courage to call Kevin, he wasn't going to bother lying about why. "I'm, I'm on my route and I'm kind of panicking a little because I'm where it happened. Just thinking about it is making me feel..."

"You want me to walk with you?" Kevin asked, already beginning to stand when Jamie responded.

"No, no you don't need to do that." Jamie rushed out, looking up and down the beach as he spoke.

"Could you..." Jamie sighed, his grip on the phone tightening as he spoke. "Could you just stay on the line with me? Please?"

Of course, he could do that.

"You got it, baby." Jamie actually laughed quietly at that.

"You really don't have an off switch, do you?" Jamie asked, starting to walk. He just wanted to concentrate on Kevin's voice; it was the perfect distraction.

The walk was brief, not even two minutes, but Kevin made sure to fill the short time with whatever Jamie wanted to hear, speaking louder to get his attention when he heard the mailman's voice fading as he tried not to look at the boulder Topaz had appeared from behind. Once or twice, Kevin had to say his name to bring his attention back.

But it had worked, with Jamie almost dropping the phone in surprise when he walked into the mailbox. There was no Steven waiting for him like usual, but Jamie had figured he wouldn't be there, since he'd told him he would be helping Dewey.

Jamie asked Kevin to hold on for just a short moment while he put the assigned mail into the container, noting the weight that had lifted off of his shoulders. He didn't have to walk back the same way, he could go forward. True, it would take longer, but he would make sure that every other delivery that day made up for it. He'd faced his fear once today, that was enough.

"You sure you don't want me to walk with you? Not like I'm doing anything here." Kevin reminded Jamie, resting his feet on the coffee table.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Jamie promised. "You could just watch one of my movies if you're bored."

"I am not watching one of those alone!" He heard Kevin say on the other end, making the mailman snicker slightly as he started walking along the opposite end of the beach.

"Maybe that's a good thing. I'm kind of particular about how they're kept, and I wouldn't want you fiddling with them."

Jamie didn't trust the pause that followed on Kevin's end.

"So you're saying you'd get mad if I went and messed them all up?" He could hear the devious grin in his voice.

"Don't you dare!" Jamie warned. "Those are alphabetized!"

"Well, since I've got nothing better to do..."

"Fine, you can walk with me!" If he hadn't said anything, he knew Kevin wouldn't have threatened to disorganize his movies. It was an excuse so that he could join him, he knew that, and he thought it was sweet.

But he was also worried about his beloved movies.

"I'll see you in a bit then." Kevin told him, and Jamie could swear he heard him wink over the phone.

(-)

It hadn't taken Kevin long to get ready, and he'd found Jamie in no time.

It was satisfying to look for him along his route this time around and actually find him. And by riding in Kevin's car, Jamie finished his work in no time. Which is exactly what he'd been hoping for, as he could see a group had gathered around the stage. The debate would be starting soon.

"Ah, could I ask a small favor?" Jamie questioned, turning his attention from looking out of the window to Kevin, who nodded.

"Anything for you, cutie." He told him, flashing a grin that Jamie rolled his eyes at.

"Could you take my mailbag back to the post office? Usually I take it home, but I kind of... tore a few of the stitches earlier." Jamie admitted, embarrassed. He hadn't stopped himself fast enough before on the beach when he'd begun to twist the strap, only seeing the damage later on in the day.

"Barbara can sew it back up again. The debate is about to start, and..."

Kevin knew it was important to Jamie to see it first hand. After the hell he'd been through, Kevin couldn't blame him for wanting to see the chance of Dewey being forced to step down. Kevin wanted to see it too, but at the same time, he'd probably start to cause a scene should Dewey say anything that he didn't agree with.

"Fine, I'll be your errand boy." Kevin said, though Jamie could tell by his tone he didn't mind at all.

Jamie thanked him with a smile and a quick kiss, which Kevin tried to draw out for as long as the mailman would allow before he forced himself to get out of the car.

As Jamie approached the stage, he kept to the back of the crowd, spotting Steven and Dewey to one side talking in hushed voices, while Jenny and Kiki, along with Kofi, seemed to be wishing Nanefua luck. He could see Sadie, Onion, and both of Lars' parents in the crowd.

At least Onion seemed to be doing okay.

The crowd around Jamie began to chant, all excited for the speech, but they quieted down when the curtains opened up.

Exhaustion wore heavy on Dewey's face as he took to the podium, unsavory bags hanging under his bloodshot eyes. Had he gotten any sleep last night?

Nanefua was the embodiment of confidence, regarding her opponent with a cold side-eyed stare.

Dewey started the debate, and his intro - voice crack and all - wasn't pretty.

"When aliens steal people, it's the mayor's fault!"

Jamie could feel himself tense at that, casting a brief glance over to Sadie and the Barrigas. Sadie looked just as unimpressed with Dewey's attempt at defending himself as the previous day. And the Barrigas still looked downright furious, with Martha ready with another tomato to throw at the mayor should he, in her opinion, step out of line.

And Ronaldo was there as well, but he was just texting. Or blogging, either was believable.

Jamie turned his attention back to the mayor, who seemed to have rambled somewhat, before ending his opening statement.

"Just enjoy our wonderful ocean breeze and don't worry about a thing! Let Dewey do it for you!"

There was a quiet murmur throughout the small crowd, though judging by Sadie's expression, whatever she was muttering to herself wasn't kind. There was some scattered clapping as well, none of which came from the Barrigas, but...

Jamie couldn't bring himself to join in.

How could the mayor still seem so passive about the entire situation? The effects of the abductions were still heavy on the town - on Jamie himself - and yes, as time passed, the scars would fade. But as of now, the wound was still fresh, and more painful to others. Dewey may as well have been trying to offer the advice of healing a broken bone with a band aid.

Dewey wanted the best for the town, he really did; Jamie knew as much. He just had no idea how to provide that sense of mind and stability for his people.

There was a clear shift in the attitude of the audience when Nanefua began to speak, and her words immediately caught the mailman's attention.

"I have blamed you for too many things and that is not helping." She spoke quietly.

A louder swell of talking began among the surveyors, and Jamie was compelled to lend his voice and opinion to the hum.

He agreed, completely. She had his full support. For as upset with Dewey as he was over his imprudent and insensitive speech the day prior, regarding his attitude towards the kidnappings, Lars, and their own incident afterwards, it really wasn't right to hold Dewey accountable for their abductions. They had every right to be angry for how Dewey handled himself and the news after, but to unload their hatred onto him for something he couldn't have prevented in the first place was a misplacement of their fury.

As Nanefua continued her rallying speech, stating that she would no longer be one for finger pointing, and instead of heaping the blame onto one man, leaving them a town divided by animosity towards the mayor, they would unite and share responsibility for one another's well being and safety.

Just as they'd done when looking for the abducted humans.

This time, the crowd's reaction was unanimous - an uproarious applause, with cheers ringing out. It made Jamie swell with pride that Nanefua was looking at the situation in such a way, and he couldn't help but smile to himself. This time when he chanced a look to his left, he saw agreement in Sadie's eyes, and Martha and Dante's expressions had softened, though tears now welled up in their own eyes as they nodded to her words. Even Ronaldo was smiling.

He was still on his phone though.

Jamie couldn't help the excitement he felt as he waited for Dewey's rebuttal - Nanefua's speech of citizen empowerment would be a tough act to follow for sure.

Dewey would really have to... wait, he was dropping out?

"What?"

Jamie stared in bewilderment while the yells of joy from the crowd grew around him.

Dewey had just... Wow. That was unexpectedly... big of him. Jamie knew Dewey loved being mayor, so to see him pass off the position with no resistance when he recognized that Nanefua would be a better leader than him, and throwing away the tradition of his family name being tied to the position of mayor, all those generations; it was inspiring.

And once that initial disbelief faded, Jamie felt his small smile split into a wide grin, his voice joining everyone else's as they cheered for Nanefua.

Jamie made sure to hang back while the audience began to disperse, only walking forward once the Barrigas had thanked Nanefua and Kofi had dragged his twin daughters off to celebrate, leaving Nanefua by herself.

The small elderly woman was still beaming with joy after her successful debate, and that only increased when she saw the mailman approach.

"Jamie, it's good to see you out again. Did Barbara bring over the dish I gave her for you? She said she was visiting you later."

"Yes she did, thank you, Nanefua." Jamie smiled. Since Barbara had handled his route yesterday, she'd gotten to deliver to the Pizzas. Barbara had told him later when she arrived at his apartment that the old woman had been adamant that she bring her dish for him; comfort food, she called it.

"No thanking, you deserved it." Nanefua told him pointedly. "That, and you're still far too thin."

Jamie couldn't help but laugh at that - even if she was now mayor, some things never changed.

"I'll take your word for it." He chuckled, adjusting his hat.

"Good. No more getting out of it when I offer something when you deliver mail, then!" Nanefua insisted. A part of Jamie still wanted to protest, as he always had, believing he wasn't worth the trouble of preparing something for. But he stopped himself, smiling instead and agreeing.

"I'd like that, actually, Nanefua. Oh, I'm sorry. Mayor Nanefua."

The elderly woman chuckled at the emphasis, in turn making the young actor smile widely.

"You don't need to call me that." She told him, making a waving motion with her hand.

"I'll keep that in mind." Jamie replied. "I just wanted to tell you congratulations on winning the debate! And..."

Jamie knelt down to Nanefua's level, hugging her carefully, but warmly, earning a surprised, 'Oh!', from the small woman.

"I think you'll do great things for Beach City."

Nanefua laughed kindly, returning his hug and patting his back as she did.

"Why thank you, Jamie. You're such a nice young man."

Jamie leaned back and stood, tipping his hat back and flashing a toothy smile when he spoke again.

"And don't forget, I'll be your number one volunteer for anything you need done!"

Nanefua chuckled at the display, saying she looked forward to working with him before gesturing behind Jamie.

"That rude boy is back!"

Oh, she must have been talking about Kevin. Sure enough, when Jamie turned around, he saw Kevin leaning against his car nonchalantly, watching the pair talking.

"He's got a bit of an attitude." Jamie agreed with a slight snicker, waving to Kevin to let him know he'd be right over. "But he's not as bad as you think. I need to go talk to him, but I'll talk to you again soon, Nanefua!"

The elderly woman waved to Jamie as he jogged back up to Kevin, letting out a heavy sigh. She didn't know what Jamie saw in that boy.

"Well, William Dewey is no longer the mayor of Beach City." Jamie told Kevin, hoping the excitement in his voice didn't seem rude towards their former mayor. Kevin looked conflicted on the news.

On the one hand, that lazy moron who'd done nothing while the rest of the town had busted their asses during the crisis was out of power, and that was great news. On the other hand, now the nasty old woman was taking over. Still, lesser of two evils in Kevin's book.

"Great." Kevin drawled, making a gesture with his hands. "Maybe she won't be as stupid as the last."

"You could go congratulate her." Jamie suggested, looping his arms around Kevin's waist while he leaned against his chest. "Start getting on good terms with her."

"Yeah, that ain't happening." Kevin told Jamie with a smirk before he kissed him.

Baby steps, then. Still, this news was huge to Jamie.

He saw today as a sign of more and greater changes to come.

(-)

"Connie?"

Jamie stopped short on his walk to Steven's house. He still got uneasy, but it had been about a week since he'd started working again, and he was slowly getting comfortable with his routine once more. Kevin had walked with him for a few days after, but something had come up today, leaving Jamie to walk his route alone, but he was fine with it.

Seeing Connie was a pleasant surprise, however. Though she didn't seem to see or hear him, keeping her head low while she hugged her arms.

"Connie!" Jamie called a bit louder, finally catching the young girl's attention. She lifted her head slowly, a forlorn expression on her face. When she saw the mailman, though, her eyes lit up.

"Jamie!" She called, running over and hugging the man tightly around the waist, earning a laugh from Jamie.

"I missed you!" Connie said, looking up at the young adult. "I haven't seen you since, well..."

"Yeah." Jamie understood what she was getting at, and smiled at her. "You got a haircut! It looks really cute on you, quite fetching!"

"Oh, thank you." Connie giggled, brushing back her shorter hair. It suited her, the actor thought. "How've you been?"

"I'm doing better." Jamie replied truthfully, beaming as he said it. He was, though the odd dark thought did hit him every now and then.

"That's good." Connie replied absentmindedly, casting a glance over her shoulder towards Steven's house. She sounded distant when she spoke, with a hint of sadness in her voice.

"Are you okay?" Jamie asked gently, making the young girl blink at him. "After the whole..."

"Oh! No, I'm used to Gem stuff." Connie assured him, earning a sad smile from the mailman. He was glad she wasn't distraught over what had happened, but still, it was a shame that this was something she'd gotten used to in the first place. She was just a kid, after all. It wasn't fair that she and Steven had to deal with this kind of danger and trauma. They truly were brave.

"Then is something else bothering you?" Jamie asked her, still being cautious. He wasn't used to seeing the usually cheerful girl looking so gloomy.

"I guess I don't feel like talking about it." Connie sighed, rubbing her arm shyly. "Sorry."

"You don't need to apologize." Jamie was quick to assure her, making Connie look at him earnestly. "Whatever it is, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But, I know it will work itself out."

"You really think so?" Connie asked, expression hopeful. Jamie smiled, heart warming at the expectation in her eyes.

"Absolutely!" Jamie told her, removing his hat and bowing low before her while placing a hand to his chest. "You have the word of an actor that all your troubles will be resolved soon!"

He grinned when he heard Connie laugh, placing the hat back on his head. It was always nice to make kids laugh, especially when they really looked like they needed it.

"Thanks, Jamie." Connie said, shooting one more nervous glance to Steven's house. Why did she keep looking towards it?

She sighed, closing her eyes a moment before glancing at her phone briefly. She smiled at the mailman regardless of her worry, turning away to leave.

Something stopped her, and she turned to look at Jamie, this time suspicion in her eyes.

"Hey... can I ask you something real quick?"

"Sure, or course." Jamie told her, adjusting his now re-repaired mailbag.

"Steven mentioned something to me a few weeks back, and I haven't seen you since we talked about it, but... you were at the Fall Festival, right?"

"I was." Jamie nodded. God, that seemed like so long ago now. "I don't think I saw you there, though."

"I was sick." Connie admitted sheepishly before continuing. "Were you... on a date? With this guy named Kevin?"

Jamie recalled Steven's reaction to hearing about who he'd come to the festival with, and felt a touch of embarrassment from the look she gave him.

"Uh, yes. Why do you ask?" He watched her expression drop from suspicion to shock, even a touch disgusted, but seeing the hurt look on the mailman's face, she quickly covered it up.

"Oh, no reason!" She offered him a nervous grin, seriously reminding him of Steven from that day now.

He didn't get the chance to ask for clarification as to why she asked as she went to leave, waving to him and wishing him a good day before running back down the beach, around the cliff face and out of sight.

Jamie waved at her retreating form, smiling unsurely after her before continuing his way to Steven's mailbox. He turned to leave after putting the mail in it, casting a glance up at Steven's house. Was Steven... okay? That was the only reason Jamie could think of for Connie's worried looks back towards the temple. Maybe he should go check on the boy himself to see if he was alright.

Jamie took the steps up to the temple carefully, preparing to knock until he noticed a note on the door, which simply read, 'Gone vacationing'.

Oh, so Steven and the Gems were away on a trip? Now that Jamie thought about it, he didn't see the car wash open today, so Greg had most likely gone, too. Well, good for them! Honestly, if anyone in Beach City needed a vacation, it was Steven. Jamie was happy the boy was getting a chance to relax after all that had happened. And his absence would also explain why Connie was upset, at least partially.

It still didn't explain it away entirely.

And although it wasn't Jamie's business, and he didn't ask, Steven did explain to him what happened when he came back, when Jamie had to deliver a large amount of gardening supplies.

"So, you had a fight." Jamie clarified. Steven nodded, looking a bit sad when he replied, but with a noticeable twinge of hope in his voice.

"Yeah, but I think things will be okay... I miss talking to her, but I just hope she's happy. If she's happy, then I'm happy!" Jamie felt himself swooning over Steven's affection for his friend, and how much her own well being meant to him. It was beyond adorable, and the mailman truly did hope the two could work something out. He missed seeing the pair together, honestly.

"So, does any of that have to do with your new gardening supplies?" Jamie asked with a chuckle.

"Oh, right!" Steven laughed, helping to take the boxes of seeds Jamie gave him, as well as the potted plants. Jamie had needed to use his over the shoulder bag today just for Steven's order. "This isn't for me, it's for Peridot! When we tried growing in the Kindergarten, it didn't really hold up all that well, so we kind of wasted all the stuff we had left from when Lapis took the barn."

"Oh, that's too... wait, come again?" Jamie asked, blinking. "Is Peridot living with you now? And what do you mean Lapis took the barn?"

Right, Steven had failed to mention that.

"Yeah, Peridot has been living with us for a few days now. At first she was really depressed, and then she got mad when the Kindergarten garden was a bust, but now she's all excited again!" Steven said. "Lapis kind of... left Earth again. And she took the barn with her, and Peridot had nowhere to go. So she's with us again!"

"Wait, so she took the whole barn?"

That was... impressive. And also vaguely terrifying.

Sometimes Jamie forgot just how powerful Lapis was. She'd stolen the entire ocean once, after all.

"Guess the festival won't be held there next year, huh?" Steven asked, laughing nervously. "She didn't take everything, though. She left Pumpkin!"

Jamie helped Steven unload the rest of his mail sack, exhaling loudly from all the exertion.

"I think that's everything." Jamie stated with a satisfied nod. "I hope your Gem friend enjoys herself!"

"Oh, wait right here! I should go get Peridot!" Steven told Jamie, eyes shining with excitement before he took off running up the steps to the temple again. He seemed to be in brighter spirits since last the mailman saw him, anyways.

Moments later, he heard the temple door creak back open, followed by the sound of barking as an orange blur zipped down to greet Jamie, making the mailman laugh as it circled his legs. Not long after, he saw the titular green Gem following Steven down to the mailbox. Jamie had exchanged very few words with Peridot. She wasn't always... polite.

"Ah, yes." She began, holding her chin while surveying everything around her, "These are excellent! I guess it wasn't a bad idea to let you and Amethyst pick out some flowers to plant after all."

They'd decided to branch out from just sunflowers - they had lilies, roses of every color, pansies and, as requested by Amethyst, hydrangeas. Jamie found them all to be dazzling - if they were willing to part with any after their garden was established, he'd love to have some.

"These new gardening supplies will prove most sufficient." Peridot stated boldly, pride seeping into her voice as she lifted her chin into the air. "With Steven and Amethyst's assistance, and my natural gift for cultivation, we will have an even better garden soon enough, more efficient than the last."

"I guess you could say that you've got a green thumb!" Jamie told her, laughing slightly. He was met with a confused stare by the smaller Gem.

"All of me is green." Peridot replied flatly. "Why does everyone keep reminding me of that?"

"No, no, it's a figure of... you know what, never mind." Jamie responded, shaking his head and waving his hand with a smile. "Good luck with your gardening!"

"Luck has nothing to do with it." Peridot replied matter-of-factly. "The art of farming is one based purely off of skill... But, thank you."

Jamie began to walk away from the temple as Peridot began to transport the plants to underneath the porch. The crunch of sand behind him caught his attention, and he turned to see Steven running up to him.

"Hey, Jamie! Wait up!" Steven called, waving for the mailman to stop.

"Something wrong?" Jamie asked, shifting the now empty sack over his other shoulder.

"Uh, I don't think so." Steven started slowly, looking a tad apprehensive about what he was going to say. "Could I, uh, talk to you about something?"

He recognized the look in Steven's eye - he'd seen it before, in him and now in Connie.

"It's about Kevin, isn't it?"

Steven looked caught off guard when he heard that, looking away shyly while his shoulders hunched.

"How'd you know?"

"Lucky guess." Jamie smiled, noting the embarrassment in Steven's face. "You don't like him very much, do you?"

Steven offered a sheepish smile, thankful that Jamie didn't seem mad with him so far.

"Not really, no. It's just... he's such a jerk!" Steven blurted out before looking at Jamie to check he wasn't annoyed yet.

"He can be a bit abrasive." Jamie agreed, shrugging while smiling softly, more to himself than to Steven. "But he can also be very kind. And funny. And considerate."

"Are you sure we're talking about the same Kevin?" Steven asked, making the thespian laugh.

"I'm pretty sure." Jamie chuckled, making Steven sigh.

He just couldn't see it - how did one of the nicest, friendliest people in Beach City end up with such a creep like Kevin? Steven had promised never to meddle in Jamie's love life again after everything he'd tried to do with Garnet had backfired so horribly, and Jamie had gotten hurt. He liked Jamie, he was one of his friends. He was just worried about him. But then again...

"Kevin... got really mad at Dewey the other day." Steven recalled. "When he got your name wrong. I didn't know he'd been looking for you. I didn't think Kevin cared about anyone besides himself. Or his car."

Jamie snickered at the last part, shrugging.

"He's not a bad guy, Steven. Whatever happened between you two, maybe it was just a bad first impression. You should give him a second chance." After he spoke, Jamie checked the time on his phone, and Steven could tell by the look of alarm on his face that he had to be behind schedule, waving goodbye frantically as he ran back to the boardwalk, not giving a second though to how he'd been abducted as he ran past the boulder.

Steven waved after him and sighed, frowning. He didn't want to give Kevin a second chance, he was mean! But Jamie had looked so happy talking about him, and Kevin had seemed to genuinely care about the mailman when he was yelling at Dewey.

He would consider giving Kevin a second chance, maybe. Because if Jamie liked him, there had to be some part of him that wasn't all bad, right?

(-)

Jamie had been making good time on his route that day, actually getting ahead of schedule. His hard work afforded him the time to be able to relax and watch the ocean as he leaned against a lamp post, the horizon reflected in his eyes while he was lost in thought. The comforting salty scent of the ocean filling his lungs as he breathed in deeply, and the lulling sound of waves lapping the shore easing his mind.

It was just shy of being two weeks since the abduction happened, and the town had adapted. Often with tragedies, it would feel as though time stood still, and you'd wish that it would, because you're not ready for the days to continue, you're not ready to move on. And it feels like nature is being cruel to you for forcing you to face that it wouldn't wait for you. You'd either be left behind to wallow in your own misery, or you could move forward to, marching towards the future with your head held high and optimism in your thoughts.

So many people had been affected by what had happened, but they weren't letting it hold them back.

Beach City, and it's citizens, were changing. In small ways, and in huge ones. It was honestly incredible to witness.

Generations of tradition were broken when Nanefua became Mayor, and the future she had planned for them, and the changes she planned to implement herself were already having an impact on the mood of the citizens, uniting them.

Peridot had refocused her attention, saving herself from getting caught up in a depression, and instead found new purpose in her gardening. She was able to harness those negative emotions and transform them into determination, giving the small Gem a new energy. And from her hard work, something beautiful was being created.

When Jamie delivered to the former mayor's house, Buck had been the one to answer the door - a rarity. Buck wasn't much of a talker, but they had a pleasant conversation, which lead to Jamie learning that Steven, Buck himself, Jenny, Sour Cream and even Sadie had formed a band of sorts. Buck invited Jamie to attend their next show, promising that it would be a fun time. And instead of declining the invitation like he would have a month prior, Jamie accepted it. Maybe Kevin would like to go, that would be a fun date.

Sadie had quit her dead end job she hated, and new life had been breathed into her when she joined the cool kids and Steven's band. Jamie couldn't recall the last time he'd seen Sadie with so much energy. She had stopped tormenting herself over Lars' situation, and was finally letting herself live her life again. And she truly deserved it.

Connie had taken a small step with her new hairstyle. It wasn't much, but a fresh new look could be motivating. And he hoped it would lend her the confidence to make a stronger effort to reach out to Steven. The ripple in their friendship was heartbreaking.

Steven himself seemed more distraught over the fracture in his and Connie's bond, but even he had let himself have fun. Jamie remembered how Steven's eyes lit up when he mentioned him being in the band after he'd spoken to Buck, or how excited he was for Peridot to be gardening, or Sadie finally leaving her job at the Big Donut.

Just earlier, while putting up the missing flyers for Lion - which Jamie insisted on helping him with - he'd even mentioned how Lars' parents were slowly accepting what had happened, and had asked Steven to deliver a box full of things to Lars when he found his lion again. Things to remind Lars of them, and to remind him of home. To let him know how much they loved and missed him, and were thinking of him.

Beach City has stumbled the day after the abductions, but it hadn't fallen. And together, they were healing.

Jamie himself had taken huge strides in not necessarily getting over what had happened, but learning to live with it, and forcing himself to accept how things had happened, and not what nearly occurred. He decided to focus on the positives of the situation - he was alive, and he was safe, and since what had happened, he and Kevin had grown even closer.

There'd been moments of that shadow of soul and mind falling over Jamie, of course. And directly after the abduction they had been impossibly frequent. But people had been there for him - Barbara, Sadie, Jenny, Sour Cream and Buck. Steven, and above everyone else, Kevin.

And as the days passed, and Jamie got to witness first hand as the townspeople prospered and adapted to what had happened, the events of that day began to invade his mind less and less. Now, it would come in fleeting thoughts that would be pushed right back out again.

He was in a place where he was back to his old self again, the bounce returning to his step and the glimmer to his eyes. Not even walking to Steven's house fazed him anymore.

It felt good, being his usual self once more. He was never one for pessimism; it didn't look good on him. Although he may have been prone to overreactions.

All of this, though, the town's growth and his own personal healing did remind him of something. A promise he'd made to himself.

A promise that when he was feeling better, and when that cloud that had been hanging over him finally faded, he would confront Kevin about his feelings for him and ask that they be boyfriends.

The thought had been on his mind fairly consistently ever since Kevin had stayed over the first night, and he'd been giving it more and more consideration. He'd found excuses for why certain days wouldn't be a good time to talk to Kevin about it, and kept procrastinating.

But something finally seemed to give in him, and he'd put his foot down. He was going to talk to Kevin about it. All of it. He couldn't let himself keep postponing this to the point of where he'd lose his nerve, and be stuck wondering 'what if' for the rest of his life.

He was doing this. No doubt about it.

Only problem was he just didn't know when.

He didn't want to just blurt it out while they were at his apartment, or while they were walking around. He wanted it to be at least somewhat special, something they could remember, should Kevin reciprocate his feelings and say 'yes'. But where and when would be a good time?

He needed a chance, an occasion, an opening. He needed an opportunity. He needed-

"Hey, cutie." The purr in his voice, as well as the hands that found his waist brought Jamie's thoughts to a dead stop, the concentration he'd had now replaced with thrilling excitement.

"Kevin!" Jamie laughed, spinning around and throwing his arms around the other man's neck, pulling him in for a kiss.

Kevin chuckled himself, letting Jamie pull him in. The aspiring actor had been in a much better mood lately - his outlook and personality seemed to have brightened considerably since the abduction.

It was a slow going process, but little by little, one stepping stone at a time, Jamie had braved his fears and surpassed his anxiety. He had not let himself be beaten by this.

It was nice, seeing Jamie happy again and back to his old self. Kevin had come to adore that spark in him, and he'd missed it.

"Oh! Did you hear about the Big Donut?" Jamie asked as their lips parted, eyes wide with curiosity as he searched Kevin's face for any hint of recognition in what he was saying.

"No, but I have the funny feeling you're about to tell me." Kevin smirked, angling his head to watch the other man.

"It's Sadie, she quit! I can't believe she quit!" Jamie exclaimed. She'd worked at the Big Donut for as long as he'd been a mailman. He knew she never cared for the job, but she had enjoyed Lars' company. Without him though, the monotonous work, as well as the added stress of having to handle the work that Lars usually did, seemed to be enough to drive her to finally leave. He was happy for her, ecstatic!

"Who is that again?" Kevin asked, causing the mailman to roll his eyes.

"She worked at the Big Donut. She's Barb's daughter, she was at my apartment for dinner last week. She's the one who chewed Ronaldo out the other day."

"Oh yeah, blondie." Kevin recalled. He paused a moment before snickering, making Jamie raise an eyebrow at him.

"What's so funny?"

"Well, since no one's working at the place, maybe our old idiot mayor will get a job there." Kevin grinned.

"That... would actually be really fitting." Jamie realized with a slight laugh. It would give Dewey a newfound respect for the job; the job of the boy he didn't know had gone missing. Dewey had said he'd find a replacement, after all, and he was freshly unemployed. But, time would tell.

"Maybe you should get a job there." Jamie joked, giggling at the offended glare he received from the other man.

"Yeah right! Over my dead-" Kevin stopped himself short, suddenly growing tense as he looked over at Jamie nervously. To his surprise, he saw Jamie smiling at him, understanding in his gaze.

"You can say the word. It doesn't bother me anymore." He told him calmly, his own heart warming at the way he saw Kevin relax at hearing that. The other man had made a conscious effort to watch what he said around him ever since he'd slipped up when he'd lost his temper at Dewey, and it didn't go unnoticed by Jamie. He valued Kevin's attention to reactions, and was grateful for his attentiveness, especially since he knew Kevin to be the type to say the first thing that came to his mind without much thought.

Still, time had passed, and like the town, he'd moved on. He was finally in a place where he was okay again.

"Well, in that case," Kevin started, pulling Jamie close to his chest and pressing a kiss to his neck before grinning wickedly, "you're drop dead gorgeous."

Jamie laughed, heat rushing into his cheeks, even more so when he snorted at the public display of affection.

"Anyways," Kevin began, letting go of Jamie so he could readjust his uniform as he listened to him, "I've got a proposition for you. I'm throwing a party at my place this Saturday. Important people only, RSVP required."

"Sounds fancy." Jamie noted, watching Kevin as he removed his hat, brushing his fingers through his hair briefly.

"Only the best for me." Kevin told him before punctuating his statement with a snap of his fingers, pointing at Jamie with a wink. "And I want you to be there."

"Really?" Jamie felt a spark of excitement at hearing that before giving Kevin a cheeky smile. "What, I don't have to reserve my place on your list or something?"

"Pssh, no way. I'll make an exception for you." Kevin told him, smirking widely at him before cupping Jamie's cheek, tilting his face up at him. "You can be my plus one."

"P-plus one?" Jamie prayed that Kevin couldn't hear his heartbeat, which fluttered in his chest like a frightened bird.

"Of course." Kevin smiled. "You get special treatment. So, waddaya say? You in?"

Before meeting Kevin, the prospect of being invited to a party was enough to make Jamie uncomfortable, let alone actually attending one. But he'd since shed off any qualms he had about these kinds of outings, ever since going with Kevin to the rave. Not to mention any anxiety over attending something as harmless as a party was now laughable when compared to what he'd now faced. Instead of apprehension, the thought of going to a party, especially one thrown by Kevin, filled him with excitement.

It would be nice, if would be fun! A party would be... wait, that's it!

"A party, that's perfect!" Jamie exclaimed suddenly, jumping unexpectedly and clapping his hands, his eyes shining brightly like spotlights.

A party was the opportune scenario for Jamie to tell Kevin how he felt, and to ask him to about being an official couple. The atmosphere would be upbeat and lively, people would be chatting casually, it was exactly the chance Jamie had been waiting for.

Kevin seemed a bit confused by the reaction, but took it as a positive one.

"So is that a yes?" Kevin asked. Not like anyone ever turned down an invitation to one of his parties.

"Absolutely, one hundred percent!" Jamie told him, barely able to keep the grin off of his face while he kept his hat clasped in his hands, trying to use it to hide his elated expression.

The other man seemed to find the reaction cute, chuckling quietly while shaking his head. Jamie was something else.

"Excellent. Now that I've got Steven going, everything should be perfect."

"Steven?" That actually caught the young actor by surprise as he lowered his hat from his face so he could be heard more clearly. "You invited Steven? I thought you two didn't like each other?"

Kevin rolled his eyes at that, waving his hand at the comment before placing it against his chest, gesturing with the other as he spoke.

"I didn't invite Steven, I invited Stevonnie. I just needed to invite the two kids to make it happen."

"You invited Steven and Connie so they'll fuse?" Jamie asked, wanting clarification.

"Yeah, that way it'll be a party that everyone will remember years to come. I've gotta be seen with them; Stevonnie is the only person that's ever been cooler than me. Trust me, they'll be there." Kevin replied smugly, though he took note of the odd look Jamie was giving him. "What, you don't think it'll work?"

"No, I mean, hm." Jamie hummed to himself. Last he'd talked to Steven, he and Connie had still been really frigid with one another, but maybe a party would be the kind of environment they needed to relax enough to try and discuss things. And while Kevin's intentions may have not been the best, Jamie could see this as a chance for them to fix their friendship. And he knew Stevonnie was a representation of their bond, so maybe this was a good idea. Not to mention he would like for Kevin to try and smooth things over with Steven. He had no idea why there was such animosity between the two, but he was sure it could be worked on as well.

Maybe the party on Saturday night would be how everyone bridged those gaps; Steven and Connie getting over their fight, Kevin and Steven making amends and he and Kevin actually putting a name to whatever they had.

"I would say it's admirably audacious!"

Kevin stared at him, brow furrowing slightly.

"I think it's a good idea." Jamie restated, smiling.

"I know, I'm full of good ideas." Kevin replied arrogantly, earning a chuckle from Jamie who tucked his hat away into his mail mag. There were enough clouds out that he didn't think he'd have to worry about the sun right then.

As Jamie did so, Kevin remained quiet for a long moment, opening his mouth for a second, hesitating before finally speaking up.

"Hey, did you know his name was Steven?'"

There was a long pause, neither saying anything while Jamie halted his movements before slowly closing his mailbag and carefully turning towards Kevin, a look of pure disbelief on his face as his eyebrows rose.

"Yes. Of course. Wait." Jamie closed his eyes, shaking his head slightly as he held his hands up, trying to grasp the question. "What did you think his name was?"

He could see the slow bloom of rose red blush in Kevin's cheeks as he folded his arms, trying to shrug it off.

"I thought it was Clarence."

Jamie was aware that his mouth was hanging open and quickly rectified it, clenching his jaw. But it proved fruitless, because a moment later Kevin could hear him snickering behind his hand before he burst out laughing, nearly doubling over.

"We've talked about him! You've heard his name! Where did you get Clarence from?!"

"I don't know, man!" Kevin yelled, throwing his hands into the air incredulously. Okay, so maybe he was bad with names. It was because he often didn't care enough about the people he met to bother remembering who they were. He seemed to have the opposite problem with Jamie, however; being determined to make sure others remembered who he was.

Jamie struggled to catch his breath, leaning on a lamp post for support while he held his sides. This was the most he'd laughed in a long time, probably since learning about 'Kevin time', and God did he need this laugh. This was the most hilarious thing he'd heard in a while.

"You're such a goof!" Jamie wheezed, snorting unapologetically. Kevin groaned while Jamie laughed, holding his head.

"That's it, you're uninvited." Kevin told him, beginning to walk away. Jamie caught up easily, still giggling unabashedly while he grabbed Kevin's arm, linking their hands as he laced their fingers together and looked up at him, still grinning.

"No, no, I'll stop, I swear." He chuckled, clearing his throat as the last of his amusement left and he smiled earnestly at Kevin, even going so far as to bat his eyelashes at him. "Please let me come."

Jamie seemed to have an effect on Kevin that he was completely unaware of. That, or the mailman was just very good at acting like he didn't know how he made the other man's heart begin to patter irregularly just from a look.

"Fine, fine. I guess I can let you come." Kevin replied nonchalantly, hiding his own internal reaction well. Instead, he smiled at Jamie, leaning in closer while his eyelids fell halfway.

"It wouldn't be a party without you, baby."

Jamie shuddered at the silkiness in his voice, aware of the heat creeping into his cheeks. Any more smitten and there would be hearts in his eyes, he was sure of it. There may as well have been with how he was looking at Kevin.

"So, I can expect to see you at my place Saturday night then? We can dance the night away, and you can let your body talk." Kevin purred, his gaze unrelenting. It was trapping Jamie, like he'd been hypnotized. Over a month of dating and Kevin could still make him unravel like a ball of yarn.

"I'll, I'll be there." Jamie promised, swallowing thickly. That seemed to be all the other man wanted to hear.

"See you there, Jamie baby." Kevin grinned, leading Jamie into a kiss by his chin.

It was soft and lingering, and Jamie felt the fluttering in his chest only grow more fevered as Kevin dragged it out. As Kevin held his chin, he traced his thumb over it in a gentle caress before forcing himself to part. As much as he'd love to spend the day on the boardwalk kissing him, he needed to start preparing for the party that weekend.

Jamie let out a shuddering breath when Kevin pulled away, eyelids lazily drifting back open as he watched Kevin begin to walk away. It took an embarrassing few moments to compose himself, turning on his heel sharply until his back was to Kevin's retreating from.

Kevin could make him melt in his hands so effortlessly, even after he'd grown so accustomed to his flirtations. Ever since Jamie had accepted his feelings for him, he just seemed to be that bit more affected by everything Kevin did, and found it all that much more charming.

Jamie bit his lip, casting a glance over his shoulder at Kevin, who was now nearing his car. Unexpectedly, a surge of confidence flowed into him, and a sly smile found its way onto Jamie's face.

Kevin heard the footsteps behind him, but before he could turn around, he felt his hand grabbed and was yanked backwards unexpectedly, letting out a brief cry of alarm.

The world around him became a blur of colors as he was spun around, nearly losing his balance before he felt hands secure themselves around him and dip him down dramatically, legs going rigid as boards.

Kevin stared up in shock, cheeks flushing and breath catching at the sight of Jamie staring down at him, half mast eyes glowing like embers while he grinned down at the other man.

Before Kevin could utter a single sound, Jamie leaned down, kissing him with an unrestrained, intense, fiery passion. If Kevin hadn't been left speechless before, he certainly was now.

Jamie leaned into the kiss more, the action causing Kevin to let out a soft wavering sigh as his eyelids slipped shut, his stiff legs going lax and useless. He could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears as his entire body was rushed with heat. This could have been a scene straight out of one of Jamie's romance movies.

When Kevin's thoughts finally seemed to catch up with him and he began to reach to hold onto Jamie, the other man pulled back, ending the kiss and leaving Kevin completely breathless while he gawked up at him, his face a deep shade of red and his chest heaving.

Jamie smirked at him, pulling Kevin up just enough so that he could focus on nothing else around them; just him.

His voice was as smooth as velvet when he spoke, low and husky, something Kevin had never heard from the young actor before, and it made his heart skip a beat.

"See you there, Kevin honey."

(-)

Jamie only had less than half a week to prepare for what he'd say to Kevin on Saturday, and he'd been driving himself crazy over it, as well as what he'd wear, and if he should bring anything.

He'd strongly considered buying flowers to bring, but that didn't seem like such a good idea now that he thought about it.

Oh, but flowers would be so sweet and romantic! No, no, he had to stay adamant about this. Bringing flowers to a party would be silly. Completely ridiculous. No flowers.

He didn't want to put any pressure on Kevin when he told him how he felt and asked that they be official. He could already imagine it would be stressful enough for him, since he clearly had some issue with commitment, and Jamie had a strong guess as to why...

When he got to the party, he would find the right moment to take Kevin aside, so that the prying eyes of bystanders wouldn't make the other man uncomfortable or influence his decision. Jamie just wanted Kevin to feel completely at ease when he talked to him. And should his answer be no...

No matter what happened, he wouldn't cry.

By the time the day came, and Jamie was left pacing in his room, dressed and ready to go, there was a pile of crumbled up papers toppling over beside his overflowing trashcan next to his desk.

Writing it hadn't seemed to work out too well, so he decided to just act it out instead. He would just rehearse what he'd say over and over until the party in about an hour.

No worries, no stress, tonight would go wonderfully! As long as Kevin was in a good mood, everything would be fine.

No matter what he settled on to say to him, it really did depend on the other man's mood tonight. Since Kevin reacted so badly every other time the concept of a relationship between them was even mildly touched upon, Jamie was desperate for the other man to be in good spirits when he got to the party. He needed to be in an open mood for anything Jamie was going to ask him to have any hopes of possibly being agreed to.

But this was Kevin's party, of course he'd be happy. Why wouldn't he be?

He couldn't let himself be concerned with a possibly bad scenario now, he needed to stay focused! He needed to rehearse.

Jamie tugged at the sleeves of his red shirt and checked himself in his full length mirror. He didn't usually wear this shirt, or these pants, but this was a special occasion, and he wanted to look nice. The shirt showed off his collar bone and the black pants hugged his frame nicely. Hopefully Kevin would like it.

Jamie let his eyes flicker over to the Polaroid photos he'd pinned to the wooden edges of the mirror. He'd taken them that last weekend, while he and Kevin had been on another date, this one to Funland. Jamie hadn't yet felt comfortable even leaving Beach City, and Kevin hadn't objected. It had been a simple but sweet date, and they'd enjoyed themselves. It had been a perfect way to unwind after the abduction.

While there, and as they'd strolled along the boardwalk afterwards, Jamie had the idea to take pictures with his old Polaroid. It was dusty, and a hand me down from his grandmother, but he loved it, and he'd always found taking pictures that way to be sentimental and oddly romantic.

Of course, Kevin hadn't reacted the same, asking, 'what the hell is that?', when Jamie showed it to him, followed by 'why the hell do you have it?', when Jamie explained what it was. The other man couldn't seem to understand why Jamie would use something so old when he could have just as easily used his phone, like he'd done in Empire City, but he didn't argue when Jamie did take the pictures.

And now they were tacked onto Jamie's mirror. It was a little habit of his - when he'd be rehearsing for a play or a performance of his, he liked to attach of photo of something relating to what he was rehearsing for. He'd done it with Dewey's play, his mime act for Beach-A-Palooza, and even when he'd volunteered for the Renaissance Faire. It was a small boost of motivation, so that should be start to hit a rough patch with his performance, he could quickly glance at the photo to be reminded of what he was practicing for.

And he was looking at the pictures of him and Kevin laughing and kissing for that exact same reason.

Alright, alright. He could do this. He just needed to let his mind go blank and say how he really felt about Kevin.

"I love you!" Okay, maybe that was a bit much - if just alluding to a relationship made Kevin start to panic, saying that would probably give him a heart attack.

Not to mention that wasn't exactly following Garnet's advice, which he'd taken as gospel. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to say that when they hadn't even been in an official relationship yet.

Besides, the thought of making Kevin nervous by saying that was in turn making him nervous, and Jamie was already getting himself worked up over this, he didn't need anymore anxiety. He needed to stay level headed, optimistic, confident!

He was fine, he was fine!

He was going to throw up.

Jamie whined as he held his head, flopping face first into his bed with a groan. He stayed like that for just a few breaths before he pushed himself back up, shaking out the nerves before taking a deep breath.

Relax, breathe, clear your head and try again.

Jamie paced around his room for a moment, snapping his fingers as he tried to think of something else. When it came to him, he clapped excitedly, turning to face his mirror once again.

"I just adore you!" He started, placing one hand to his chest while holding the other one outwards. "And I wish that I knew what makes you think I'm so... special."

That was sweet, yes, but...

Jamie hummed to himself, one hand resting on his waist while he bit his thumb absentmindedly before tapping his chin thoughtfully.

He didn't want to quote any movies or songs, and that felt oddly familiar. He wanted this to be completely from the heart.

He needed it to be heartfelt, truthful and overflowing with affection.

"I... I dwell in darkness without you!" Jamie started, throwing his arms out dramatically. "You are the sun to my day, and the moon to my night, and the stars in our sky are as boundless and limitless as my feelings for you!"

Was that overdoing it? Should he tone it down?

"You have bewitched me. Like a spell, I am entranced by you!" No, no, now he wasn't saying enough. Anyone could say they were entranced by another. What made it meaningful was why.

Jamie let out an exasperated sigh as he let his head fall back, lacing his fingers together behind his neck as he did while he walked to the opposite end of his small room.

Maybe he was just overthinking this. How would it be if he just said what came to mind, instead of fabricating elegant lines in his head? That was a thought...

Jamie lifted his head back up, catching sight of himself in the mirror as he pressed his hands together before tugging at his fingers nervously when he talked - he didn't want to start wringing the hem of his shirt and make it wrinkly before he'd even gotten to the party.

"I... From the moment I met you, I've been crazy about you." He began carefully, slowly walking back towards the mirror while keeping his eyes on his hands. "You just make me feel... like I'm walking on clouds. I've never met anyone like you. You just exude charisma, and charm, and you're so comfortable with yourself, and I just love that about you."

Jamie cringed when he used the word, shaking his head and clearing his throat.

"You're... amazing. And when I'm with you, it's like there's electricity in me. Since knowing you, I've gained so much self confidence. I mean, I'm going to parties now! I could never have seen myself going to one before you, or a rave. Or a drag race, or Empire City. But since you, that's changed."

He risked a glance up at the mirror, seeing his cheeks had turned as red as cherries. He hunched his shoulders before continuing.

"I'm just drawn to you. In a way I don't even know if I can describe. If I tried I'd probably end up with a ten page poem, so I'm saving you from that." He laughed slightly, tapping his fingers together before folding his hands.

"I've never felt like this before. When you smile, it's like my heart aches. And your laugh just makes me feel warm inside. When you talk, I hang off your every word because I don't want to miss a single thing you'll say. I don't care what everyone else says about you, even if it can be true at times. I've seen another side of you. But both halves make you perfect to me."

Jamie closed his eyes, aware of how fast his heart had begun to race as he took a few more steps forward, voice shaking as he spoke again.

"I don't want this to be just dating between us. The thought of that being all we have kills me." Jamie paused, taking an uneven breath before quietly continuing while his hands shook. "I want us to be... I want us to be together. A couple. Exclusive. I want us to be boyfriends. I-I know that's a bit much to ask, but I just, I want us to, I want you to, I want... I want..."

Jamie stopped walking when his knee hit the mirror and be blinked in surprise, staring at his own wide eyed, blushing reflection. After a brief pause, he sighed, letting his head fall forward to rest his forehead against the cool glass, eyes falling closed again while his arms fell uselessly to his sides.

After taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes again, glancing sideways at one of the photos he had pinned to the frame of the mirror. Jamie leaned back, reaching up and removing it carefully before turning his back to his reflection as he looked at the picture. He smiled fondly, easing himself to the floor to sit cross legged. He leaned back against the mirror, holding the photo to his chest as he stared at the ceiling, breathing out heavily.

"... I want you."

(-)

Jamie really should have kept better track of the time.

When he had finally settled on what he wanted to say, Jamie rehearsed it relentlessly, using different inflections, various hand gestures and gaits as he walked, studying himself in his mirror.

He just wanted this to go perfectly.

Which is why he panicked and saw that what should have only taken thirty minutes had eaten up two hours, and he was now drastically late for the party. In his rush to leave, he'd successfully kicked his coffee table and nearly knocked over his coat rack as well. He'd been down the sidewalk when he realized he hadn't locked his apartment and had to sprint back to do that as well. Not the best start.

Jamie ended up getting flowers.

Nothing extravagant, just some blue roses and purple pansies. Peridot had grown them, and Jamie thought they looked nice, and they reminded him of Kevin. He just hoped the other man liked them as well. And should they prove to be a bit much, he could just use the excuse that they were a party warming gift.

Although now that the mailman thought about it, he wasn't entirely sure that was a thing.

As Jamie walked up the driveway, he was hit with an overwhelming sense of longing as he reminisced. It seemed like so long ago he'd been to this house for the first time, delivering a package to someone he didn't know. He remembered how intimidated he'd felt by the sheer size of the house initially, and it's ornate yard. How he'd hesitated to ring the doorbell, and how unassuming he'd been of who would answer thanks to Barbara's warning.

He never could have guessed how that chance meeting would completely shake up his life, and how he'd meet someone who surpassed all his dreams, and now was the subject of them.

Jamie smiled faintly to himself as he looked up at the front door, pausing for only a moment before taking the side path around the house.

He couldn't hear any music as he approached the backyard. Odd, but maybe the house and the tall hedges just blocked the sound.

He put on a bright smile as he reached for the gate, glancing over it to survey the party and -

No one was there.

The yard was completely empty. Cups and cans were left strewn about, as though dropped in a hurry. Like the party had been ended abruptly. The only soul in sight was Kevin, sitting alone at the pool's edge, legs dangling in the water with his back to him.

Well... at least Jamie didn't have to worry about a crowd putting any unwanted pressure on Kevin.

The creek of the gate opening and then closing behind Jamie when he walked into the yard caught the other man's attention, and he heard him growl, shoulders hunching.

"Party's over, beat it!"

Jamie winced at the tone Kevin used, but forced a smile back to his face regardless, hiding the flowers behind his back when he spoke up.

"I thought I would arrive fashionably late."

Kevin pivoted around at once, eyes widening and eyebrows shooting up in surprise when he saw Jamie standing there. The young actor looked nice; Kevin had never seen him in that outfit before, and that was a damn shame. Jamie thought the same about what Kevin was wearing, except...

"You're soaking wet." Jamie realized, blinking. Kevin's purple shirt hugged his body damply, and his bangs stuck to his forehead and hung around his face heavily - nothing like how he usually kept it, which was perfectly combed and immaculate.

Jamie saw Kevin's face darken and he huffed, turning away from him again, briskly.

"Yeah, no shit."

Oh.

Oh he was mad.

Jamie felt his heart sink as it went out to Kevin. Something had happened, something dreadful. If he'd just gotten there earlier, maybe there was something he could have done to prevent it. No, he couldn't let himself start feeling guilty. He didn't know what had happened, but he was going to find out.

When Jamie opened his mouth to call out to him again, he gasped suddenly, heart clenching in his chest.

Kevin wasn't in a good mood. His lines... what he'd been practicing all week, aching over, obsessing over and rehearsing for the better half of two hours; what he'd been late over... they'd been dependent on Kevin's mood. Everything he'd spent so long painstakingly preparing... none of it would work. He couldn't pour his heart out to him, not the way he'd been planning to.

He would have to completely scrap what he'd been wanting to tell him. It was enough to nearly crush Jamie's heart.

That... that was fine. This was fine, he could do this. He'd just have to... improvise. He was an actor, he could think on his feet.

Jamie immediately felt selfish for that thought, though. Clearly that should be the last thing on his mind when Kevin was clearly hurting...

If they got to a point while talking where Jamie felt it appropriate to bring up the topic, he would. But for now, he just wanted to know what had happened, and if there was anything he could do to help.

Along with scrapping his rehearsed lines, Jamie also frantically tossed his small bouquet of flowers into the bush behind him. The sudden movement was just in Kevin's peripheral vision, and he frowned as he looked more fully at Jamie.

"What was that?"

"Nothing!" Jamie replied, voice shrill before clearing his throat and smiling hopefully at Kevin. "Can I come sit with you?"

Kevin muttered something under his breath, which Jamie took as, 'Go ahead.'

Water had splashed out of the pool, making the surrounding ground slick and difficult to walk on. Jamie almost slipped three times just walking over to Kevin, grateful to finally sit down next to him.

And only becoming aware that it may not have been the best decision when he felt the water soak into his pants. But that was a small concern.

He tried looking more casual, leaning his weight on the hand that he rested on the pool's edge. It almost went out from under him, and he barely stopped himself from toppling to his side. He decided to keep his arms hooked around his legs which he had tucked to his chest, face burning from embarrassment already.

Kevin didn't even look at him, and Jamie felt the look of defeat on the other man's face pulling at his heartstrings. He never saw Kevin like...

Jamie glanced down at the pool, frowning slightly. Kevin still had his legs in the water, apparently uncaring of how the chlorine would ruin his shoes. Jamie knew them to be absurdly expensive, and Kevin was rather particular about them. But now it looked like he hadn't even noticed.

No... he had, Jamie realized. But whatever had happened before he'd arrived to make Kevin become soaking wet would have already ruined not only his clothes, but the shoes as well. So what was even the point of taking them out of the water.

Jamie's shoulders fell as he watched the water's surface, slowly uncurling his legs and arms before he slipped his feet into the water as well, feeling a chill shoot up his spine instantly.

They could share the suffering, together.

He noticed Kevin's eyes dart over to Jamie's submerged feet before they flitted up to his face, noting the young actor's gentle smile.

Jamie could have swore he saw a ghost of a smile on Kevin's face as well for just a hair of a moment, but it was gone too soon to tell as Kevin hunched his shoulders and sighed, turning his eyes back to the water. The look in his eyes made Jamie's own smile slip away, replaced with concern instead.

"Do you... wanna talk?" Jamie finally ventured gently.

At first, Jamie was met with a disheartening silence, and he figured that would be how the rest of the night would go. But the sadness in Kevin's eyes was replaced with anger as he replied.

"This night has been the worst!" Kevin told Jamie, throwing his hands up in the air as he spoke. "Everything was going fine, everybody was pretending like they were enjoying themselves, -" Pretending? "- it was going great!"

Kevin buried his head in his hands, wet hair falling forward as he groaned.

"I even bonded with the twerp!" Kevin added, his tone laced with irritation.

After Steven had stopped crying and being an annoying brat, Kevin even dared to say he enjoyed spending time with him. He would absolutely never admit that to a single soul for as long as he lived, of course. But it hadn't been so bad. Steven could get in a funny joke every once in a while, not once insulting Kevin throughout the night - which was a welcomed change of pace. He could even dance when he wasn't a part of Stevonnie, which came as a pleasant surprise. That topic had been brought up when Kevin suggested doing something to get Connie's attention, and Steven admitted he enjoyed dancing. So, that was something in common between them.

Of course when Kevin had the idea to choreograph the dance, he'd annoyingly needed to explain what the hell a 'pivot' was to the kid.

"Well, that's a good thing." Jamie laughed somewhat nervously as he eyed Kevin's expression. "I mean it sounds nice so far!"

There was more than a touch of agitation in Kevin's voice when he responded, his eyes trained on the pool in a glare.

"Yeah, until he ruined it! Just like he ruins everything! After the advice I gave him, and when I stopped him from making a complete idiot of himself when he wanted to talk to that Connie girl, and he had snot running down his stupid face. After all that, he just left, and I made a complete ass out of myself!"

It was mortifying what Steven had done to him - okay, so maybe his intentions hadn't been the best, and honestly how was he supposed to know the two kids weren't together? But it was still sound advice given the circumstances! And Steven had just up and left without holding up his end of the bargain.

The two midgets had made up on their own, but Kevin doubted it would have gone smoothly had Steven gone to talk to Connie when he initially wanted to. You don't talk to someone you haven't been communicating with in a while when you're way too emotional. Because it would make the conversation uncomfortable, and you'd say things you'd regret or didn't mean to, and it would just make things worse. Kevin knew better than to do that from experience with... Sabina.

He growled, fingernails digging into his palms as he placed his hands on his knees. He knew Jamie was watching him carefully, and he really wished he wouldn't stare at him right now.

The humiliation, the brat asking about her - and now this. Jamie seeing him at his lowest. It was enough to make him want to scream.

"I'm gonna kill that kid!" Kevin shouted, making Jamie flinch slightly. Well, so much for them working something out and getting along.

Jamie reached for his hand, gently placing his own over Kevin's clenched fist. He wasn't going to tell him to calm down, because doing so would only further aggravate him, Jamie guessed. He hoped the soothing circles he rubbed into the back of his hand with his thumb would help, however.

Kevin tensed initially, making Jamie wonder if he should pull back, but slowly his fingers uncurled and he pressed his palm flat against his knee, exhaling heavily. He was still pissed at the kid, but at least Jamie hadn't seen him embarrass himself. That would have been too much for him to handle.

"Wait... how did any of that lead to you getting wet?" Jamie finally asked, tilting his head. Kevin refused to answer at first before muttering out a reply.

"I walked into the pool."

Jamie smiled apologetically at him, squeezing Kevin's hand.

"And after that, I made everyone leave. I couldn't deal with them laughing at me! It was so humiliating! There was no Stevonnie, this party will be remembered for all the wrong reasons, and those two stupid kids just left on their stupid pink dog while I was in the pool, looking like a complete jackass!"

Jamie opened his mouth to respond before frowning slightly, tilting his head at Kevin.

"Steven doesn't have a dog... wait, do you mean his Lion?" He knew it was the wrong thing to focus on, but that just stuck out to him.

"Yeah, that big ugly... Wait, what? That wasn't a dog?" Kevin asked suddenly, staring at Jamie in confusion.

"Not at all." Jamie said, and he had to bite back the grin he could feel himself wanting to give. "How did you mistake a lion for a dog?"

"Some people shave dogs to look like lions, I don't know! Shut up! God, you're worse than Dereck!" Kevin complained, pulling his hand away from Jamie's so he could run his fingers through his hair.

"I guess that explains why my allergies weren't acting up." Kevin sighed, closing his eyes when he pressed his hands to the cement again.

"You're allergic to dogs?" Jamie inquired, curious. "I didn't know that."

Kevin shrugged his shoulders, glaring at nothing in particular.

Jamie laughed just slightly, making Kevin turn his glare on him, clearly annoyed.

"I'm not laughing at you." Jamie insisted, brushing a few strands of wet hair away from Kevin's face as he smiled softly at him. "It's just funny. I never knew that. I like that I'm still learning things about you."

"You learned I have allergies." Kevin told him, and Jamie could see a hint of a smile as the corner of his mouth curled up. "Which is lame."

"I don't think it's lame. I think it's cute." Jamie told him, making Kevin snort in disbelief.

"You wouldn't be saying that if you saw me when I was having a reaction." Kevin told him, rolling his eyes. They widened, however, when he felt Jamie's hands cup his face, pulling him in for a soft kiss.

"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure." Jamie whispered, watching Kevin's expression. He kissed Kevin again before he could respond, running his fingers through his damp hair while one hand glided down, fingers tracing over Kevin's neck. His hand fell to Kevin's chest, and Jamie found the other man's heart to be racing.

The other man shuddered for a reason not entirely due to the chill from the water, feeling disappointed when Jamie did finally pull away.

"And if it's any consolation." Jamie told him, leaning back away from Kevin, "I'm sure your party was fantastic. I'm sorry I couldn't make it sooner."

"It was a drag without you, anyways." Kevin shrugged, smiling at Jamie as he leaned back on his hands. He was quiet a moment before muttering unintelligibly under his breath, but Jamie distinctly heard 'Steven' when he did.

"You know," Jamie began, "Stevonnie is kind of a special thing between Steven and Connie. They represent their relationship. That's what all fusions represent, from what Steven's told me."

Jamie caught Kevin watching him as he talked, and hoped he was making sense, or that what he said wouldn't annoy Kevin just as he was brightening up a bit at last.

"And your party provided them the opportunity to fix things, too! This just wasn't the right time for them to fuse. It's their relationship, or friendship. And you should be happy for them! You know, aside from making you, ah, fall in the pool."

Kevin scoffed and rolled his eyes, but he should have guessed Jamie would see a silver lining. This was the last time he asked that twerp and his non girlfriend for a favor.

Jamie chuckled at how Kevin clearly didn't see it the way he did, but at least he was listening to him. The air between them had grown much lighter, and Kevin's anger had all but evaporated.

Would... would now be a good time to...?

"Hey... Speaking of relationships..."

Jamie noticed Kevin immediately tense, peering at Jamie from behind his wet bangs warily.

And now Jamie was starting to doubt himself.

The young actor's nerves showed as he tugged at his sleeves again, now pointedly avoiding Kevin's eyes while he tried to choose his next words carefully.

"I was just wondering..." When Jamie turned to the other man again, he found Kevin to be watching him intently.

Jamie faltered under Kevin's stare. How he ever thought he would have been able to get a word out before, rehearsed or not, was beyond him.

The gazes of a thousand audience members wouldn't have been able to faze him. But Kevin's eyes alone made him buckle.

"W-Wondering... if..."

Even trying to recall what he'd been practicing earlier failed him, and his mind went completely blank.

"If?" Kevin asked slowly. He was fully aware of how his pulse began to quicken as he watched Jamie, noting the other man's furious blushing.

Jamie's stuttering grew worse as he tried saying something, letting out an unexpected nervous laugh as he held his head.

"Oh this was so much easier in my head! Okay uh... What... Um, what are we?"

God, this was coming out all wrong and jumbled. Jamie could feel his anxiety worsening and he felt like curling in on himself. This isn't how this conversation was supposed to go. Kevin wasn't going to respond well to this at all, Jamie was screwing everything up. This was why he'd rehearsed! He'd spent so long trying to imagine this scenario in his head, with dozens of outcomes, trying to account for what kind of responses he'd get. And now he was reduced to a stammering idiot. He must have looked so stupid to Kevin, and there was no way he would -

"What do you mean?"

He... was answering him? Jamie's head snapped to attention, eyebrows shooting up. Kevin hadn't seized up this time, like he had every time before when they'd addressed a relationship. He was beet red, and looked unbelievably uneasy, but he was looking at Jamie, uncertainty in his eyes.

This... this was good! This was progress! He was actually willing to talk about this! It was farther than Jamie figured he would get after his blunder.

The young actor knew it was too soon to get hopeful, but he couldn't stop the way his heart began beat faster.

"I mean... between us. Is this... official?" He couldn't keep his hands still, instead keeping his legs closed around them, hanging off Kevin's every word, watching his face intently, as though he could predict what he'd say.

"Official... like..."

Breathe, remember to breathe! He'd rehearsed this, he just needed to keep his cool and -

"Us! You and me! Together! A couple! Officially! Boyfriends!"

Jamie felt his stomach drop when he blurted that out, his grin falling before he buried his face in his hands. Oh God, did he really just do that?! No, no, that wasn't how that was supposed to come out! What happened to staying calm and collected?

He could see through his fingers the way Kevin flinched at what he said, and felt himself hit with a wave of guilt.

Kevin's thoughts were racing. He'd considered... Well, he'd given a slight thought to asking Jamie about the same that night. The other man seemed to have relaxed enough since the abduction that Kevin didn't think it would be a bad time to address it. And after Jamie's kiss earlier, which had left him breathless and awe-struck, he'd been determined to make something happen that night.

That was until Steven had brought up Sabina. Until he'd been humiliated in front of everyone. Now, the thought of a relationship was the farthest thing from his mind.

But God did the look on Jamie's face hurt him.

"We're dating, though. Isn't that enough?" Kevin kicked himself for that, noting the disappointment in Jamie's eyes. Why was he doing this?

A flare of determination returned to Jamie's eyes though as he sat up straighter, taking a deep breath. He wasn't going to give up so easily.

"I don't... I don't think so. Not for me. It's just...," Jamie shifted, letting his legs rest on the cement, not even noticing the cold air as it hit his wet skin. "Everyone in Beach City is taking these steps in their lives. Taking risks, trying new things, moving on. And I've been thinking about this ever since I was taken. About what new step I want to take. And I want to take it... with you."

Jamie's shoulders hunched as he rubbed his arm, looking up at Kevin through his bangs with a nervous smile on his face. It was unfair at how cute he could be without even trying.

"I had this whole speech planned out earlier. I've kind of been practicing how I'd ask you." Jamie laughed slightly, forcing himself to ignore his rising nerves. "Of course now I'm blanking. Some actor I am, right?"

Jamie began to twiddle his thumbs, biting his lip. He could try and remember what he'd rehearsed earlier, but that didn't seem right now. In that moment, it had been from the heart. Improvised. He could just do it again.

"I... like you." Jamie started, laughing slightly. That was obvious. "A lot. Just, everything about you. How you talk and how you act. I feel like a completely different person when I'm with you, and I love being with you! The past month with you has been like a dream. I've done things with you I never would have even considered doing by myself! I couldn't have done it myself, but with you, it's like, it's like I'm suddenly confident. Like I could do anything. You make me feel like that. You make me feel like a lot of things."

Kevin hadn't interrupted yet, so Jamie assumed he was alright to continue.

"I've kind of been fooling myself for a while that I wasn't falling for you, or that I was just rushing in, because of what happened with Garnet. But I've never been more sure of myself than with this. I want to be with you. I want you."

Jamie closed his eyes, biting his lip nervously, hands shaking as he clasped them in his lap, waiting to hear what Kevin would say.

He wasn't scared, he was just... terrified.

His eyes snapped open when he heard something unexpected - Kevin chuckling.

He looked up at him, surprised to see the other man's cheeks had turned red. That was a good reaction, right?

"It's hard not to love me." Kevin replied, giving Jamie a wink. The actor laughed brightly at that, grinning widely.

"Well, you are a bit of a heartthrob." Jamie told him, leaning forward, heart pounding in his ears. "So...?"

Kevin's smile fell slightly, and Jamie noticed an odd look in his eyes.

"Well, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it." Kevin admitted, distinctly hearing Jamie gasp. "But..."

"Oh, no don't say 'but'. 'But' is bad." Jamie's laugh was strained, folding his hands pleadingly as he rested his chin on them.

Why did Jamie have to look at him like that? It made his heart ache, and he felt bad.

Kevin hated feeling like this; overemotional, anxious, antsy. He didn't handle himself well when he was like this. It was part of why his last relationship had ended so... horrendously.

His last relationship... Just thinking about it made his skin crawl and his mood sour. Still, it was a step up from feeling like he was dying. In fact, Kevin had noticed that, as subtle a difference as it was, thinking about Sabina had become somewhat easier since meeting Jamie.

He didn't exactly want to talk about her, but he figured Jamie deserved to know why he wasn't exactly too hot on the idea of starting another relationship.

"I... have this ex."

"I figured." Jamie replied softly, making Kevin frown, leading the actor to elaborate. "I could kind of tell by how you got whenever someone would mistake us for a couple. You kind of got this look in your eye."

Oh, so Kevin hadn't hid his emotions as well as he'd thought, that was good to know. Then again, Jamie was keen on those kinds of details.

"Yeah, I guess it was kind of obvious." He muttered. "She just..."

God, was this uncomfortable to talk about. It was bad enough when Steven asked about her earlier, completely catching Kevin off guard. But to bring it up with Jamie?

"If you don't want to talk about her, you don't have to." Jamie told him, tilting his head.

Why did Jamie have to be so nice? And understanding? Kevin was relieved to hear him say that, and would have been happy to drop the subject entirely.

But he wasn't going to.

Jamie had opened up to him about something utterly terrifying for him - how he'd been abducted. It hadn't been easy for him, Kevin knew that. But Jamie had, and he'd listened to him, and tried to comfort him. If they were to be something... Jamie deserved that same extension of courtesy.

It would be safe, and easy, and comfortable to stay as they were. No labels, no chance of being hurt, like he'd been before. He didn't do open and vulnerable; he'd built up walls, and he was fine with keeping them up, because he didn't need people knowing his sob story.

But for Jamie, he'd make an exception.

"No, I can talk about her. You won't like her." Kevin warned.

"I'm already not too keen on her." Jamie admitted. Not if she'd hurt Kevin this bad. Jamie moved closer until their knees touched, making sure Kevin knew he had his undivided attention.

The other man snickered, brushing his wet hair away.

"Her name's Sabina. We went out a while back. It started out as a fling, but I started taking things more seriously. She wasn't crazy about it, said we were taking things too fast, and we went on a break. I kind of... didn't handle it well."

He'd been hurt, that was understandable. She hadn't exactly been nice about it either. She'd called him clingy, and needy, and desperate. Which is why he kept trying to catch himself from getting like that with Jamie. But when he'd been taken, he could feel himself falling back into old habits.

Jamie listened to every word he said, never letting his attention waver. He was beyond touched that Kevin trusted him enough to tell him all this.

"I saw her out a while later, and I kind of should have known better than to talk to her then. We hadn't said a word to each other since the break, but I was stupid, and upset. God, I was such a dumbass." Kevin sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

"I kind of... said stuff I shouldn't have. I wasn't thinking, I just said how I felt. Sabina didn't... ah, she didn't take it well. If she thought I was needy before, that didn't help. Kind of... used the 'l' word. I didn't mean it, it just slipped out!"

"Oh." Jamie said, feeling his cheeks flush. "Well, I may have done that with Garnet, too..."

"Really?" Kevin blinked, looking at him. So... Jamie had been there too?

"Yeah." Jamie laughed slightly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Kinda regret saying it then, too."

Kevin's expression changed, from being embarrassed himself to understanding, smirking slightly.

"Guess we were both idiots, then." Kevin chuckled, with Jamie smiling at him.

"I wouldn't say that. I can't speak for you, but I know that I've got a heart full of love. I'm a hopeless romantic, what can I say?"

Kevin smiled crookedly at him. It was so easy to talk to him about this, so normal. He'd been terrified of the judgment, but Jamie had nothing but understanding for him.

"So, what did she say?" Jamie asked after a moment, making the other man snort and scowl, turning his head away.

"Well she dumped me, for starters. Publicly. Loudly." Ouch. "She made a huge scene out of it. Calling me names, shouting, saying she hated my guts. So you know, that was fun."

It had been the single most humiliating experience in his entire life. People had stared, whispered and pointed. He could see their accusatory stares, looking down on him with disdain or pity. He'd felt like dying, right then and there.

It's why he'd felt genuinely bad for Steven earlier when he saw him going through the same thing he had, or at least figured he was - a break. Of course, he'd misread the signs, but he'd saved Steven from embarrassing himself at first. Served him right for trying to do a good deed.

"After that, I wasn't really crazy on the whole 'relationship' thing. Had my heart broken once, wasn't looking for it to happen again." Kevin finished, shrugging with a sigh.

It felt... oddly nice to have all that off his chest, out in the open. And while it was embarrassing to recount, it did seem to relieve some of the pressure he'd been feeling.

Maybe he would be fine in another relationship, after all...

When he looked over at Jamie, he felt a bit of panic at the tears he saw in his eyes. Shit, he made him cry!

"That's... I'm so sorry." Jamie whispered. This girl, who the hell did she think she was? Kevin had needed comfort in that moment he'd accidentally confessed to her, not to have his feelings dismissed and to be mortified in front s bunch of strangers. He didn't deserve that! What she'd done was cruel and callous. And it broke Jamie's heart to hear.

Kevin had been right; he didn't like her at all.

Jamie closed his eyes, wiping at his tears. He could understand why Kevin had seized up the way he had whenever someone mistook them for a couple now, or when it had been brought up. He couldn't blame him. Jamie couldn't imagine what he would have done in Kevin's place, being as emotional a person as he was. He would never want Kevin to feel like that.

And if that meant... not being a couple, he'd do that. He didn't want to give Kevin that fear. Even if it would kill Jamie to stay as they were.

"I would never, ever do that to you." Jamie promised, cupping Kevin's cheek, surprising the other man when he smiled sadly through the tears. He looked like he'd had his heart ripped out.

"If commitment scares you that much... I-I don't... I don't want to put you through that kind of anxiety again. I care about you too much to do that to you. So, we don't have to make this official."

Wait, what? Kevin frowned, shaking his head. No, no that's not what he wanted.

"I... I should go." Jamie said quietly, beginning to stand, and Kevin felt a jolt of pure, unadulterated panic shoot through him.

"Wait!" Jamie yelped when his arm was grabbed and he was dragged back down, blinking in surprise. The other man flushed with embarrassment immediately, releasing his hold on him.

"Don't go! I don't-" Kevin stopped himself, feeling an odd sense of deja vu. All of this, it felt familiar. Like they'd done this before...

Because they had, only the roles were reversed. Last time, it had been Jamie keeping Kevin with him.

And what Kevin had just shouted...

That... that had been exactly what Jamie had said. Back on the beach.

"Uh." Kevin let out a nervous laugh, tugging at his collar. He wanted to kiss him, pull him close, let him know that everything was fine, but dammit all, his words were failing him again.

Did the thought of being in a relationship scare him? Of course. But that fear was nothing compared to how Kevin had felt when he thought he'd lost Jamie when he'd been abducted. To when he'd nearly been killed...

He knew he liked Jamie, more than he'd liked Sabina.

Because he'd broken down crying for him. Because he'd shattered for him.

Because when he thought Jamie was about to leave him right then, he couldn't possibly let him go. He couldn't lose him.

Kevin had figured himself lucky when Jamie showed up on his doorstop over a month ago. Some cute, easily flustered guy, who melted at all his flirtations and looked at him like he was everything. Another fling, something fun, nothing serious. He hadn't been looking for serious again, not when his last heartbreak was still fresh in his mind.

But that wasn't how it happened. Within the first date alone, something had clicked between them. When they talked, it had been so natural, and easy. Jamie had been funny, and endearing, and sweet. So unlike Kevin's usual hookups. He'd made him laugh, and smile. And when he'd asked him out again, it had been on a whim. He wanted to see how Jamie would react when in a setting that fit Kevin more.

And it had turned out better than expected. Jamie really came to life at the rave, and seeing him dancing, under the glow of black lights, neon and beautiful, that's when Kevin knew he was starting to fall for him.

And he'd fallen hard and fast, without even realizing it. And he knew he should have pulled away, but Jamie just kept pulling him in. With his smile, his personality, his... everything.

He loved everything about Jamie.

And he was willing to be vulnerable again for him, willing to try and be in a relationship again. Even if this ended in heartbreak, too. He'd already experienced the worst feeling imaginable when he saw Topaz nearly kill him, this worry was nothing compared to that. And neither was the hurt Sabina had left him with.

Jamie was worth the risk.

"Alright."

Jamie frowned, eyebrows knitting together.

"Alright what?"

Kevin smiled, taking Jamie's chin in his hand and kissing him. His heart was pounding out of his chest, and Jamie could feel it when his hands rested against his torso.

Kevin's hands trailed up Jamie's sides, pushing up the fabric of his shirt just slightly, making him shiver when Kevin pulled him against his body. Jamie didn't even notice when the water still soaked into Kevin's own clothes began to make his own damp.

He let his hands travel back up to Jamie's face, brushing away his hair as he let his kissing trail up Jamie's jawline, drawing out a shuddering sigh from him. Kevin leaned away from him, taking in Jamie's dreamy eyed expression while he smiled at him, tracing his thumb over Jamie's bottom lip.

"Let's be boyfriends."

The dazed expression changed in an instant, eyes widening as Jamie breathed in sharply, fingers curling into fists in the fabric of Kevin's shirt.

"You're, you're serious?" His voice quivered when he spoke, eyes beginning to shimmer like stars.

"Dead serious." Kevin agreed, smiling at the other man. He had never been more sure of himself. There wasn't a hint of hesitation, regret or doubt in anything he was saying.

His heart warmed at the way Jamie's face split into a wide grin, pressing both hands to his own chest. Jamie felt like his heart was going to burst, and he could feel his breathing coming out faster as what Kevin said truly hit him.

He wanted to be boyfriends!

"You're gonna cry again, aren't you?" Kevin snickered, making Jamie laugh, his cheeks flushed as red as roses.

"Am I that predictable?" Jamie asked, wiping at his eyes.

"Maybe. But I think it's cute." Everything Jamie did was cute to him. "Only you could pull that off."

Jamie giggled joyfully, his ecstasy bubbling over. He felt like yelling to the world, crying out at the top of his lungs about how he was the happiest man alive.

"Oh, don't I know it, baby!" Jamie replied, flashing Kevin a charming smile.

Now that was something Kevin couldn't have predicted he'd say.

"What was that?" Kevin laughed, grinning at Jamie's comment while quirking an eyebrow. "Trying to talk like your boyfriend now?"

Ah, he'd said it! He called him his boyfriend!

"I have no idea. I probably sounded ridiculous." The actor laughed. He didn't think he'd ever stop grinning.

"I think it suits you." Kevin smirked, watching Jamie, positively captivated.

"Well then," Jamie said, trying to turn on the charm while he leaned his weight on his hand, planting it on the wet tiled edge of the pool. "I can't help it if I'm a natural."

Jamie felt his arm go out from under him, the ground too slick to support his weight, and he flailed wildly as he fell over, slipping and falling into the pool with a loud splash, making Kevin erupt into laughter.

Jamie surfaced seconds later, breathing in sharply.

"Cold, it's cold!" It was so much worse now that he was completely submerged; how was Kevin not freezing?!

"Oh yeah, complete natural at being cool." Kevin snickered. He really did love Jamie.

"Help me out!" Jamie whined, reaching his hand up. Kevin snorted, rolling his eyes as he pulled his legs from the water, standing and offering his hand towards Jamie for him to take.

Jamie took it, looking up at his boyfriend. Kevin recognized the look in his eyes one second too late - that devious glint, his impish smirk.

Kevin yelled when his arm was unexpectedly snatched, pulling him forward and sending him crashing into the pool.

He gasped for air, sputtering and coughing when he finally found his way to the surface.

"What the hell did you do that for-" Kevin was cut off when Jamie silenced him with a kiss, a grin behind him. Whenever the young man tried to speak, the actor would kiss him again, now peppering his face with them, giggling delightfully.

Kevin eventually stopped trying to talk, grinning himself while he pulled Jamie closer by his waist, kissing him back with just as much ferocity, making Jamie laugh.

Boyfriends.

Yeah, he could do that.