August 2017

Philadelphia

A side street in front of Dr. Karen Fletchers Flat

It was very warm for this afternoon.

Also because the danger is then too high , that someone could address me - at least for the period where I have my body under control - because I share my body with a 'few friends'to say it nicely. But that was not it - no, it was anything but not nice. It was scary for me and I finally wanted to talk to a psychologist after years, who would not immediately send me into an Asylum- a friend of mine had recommended Fletcher to me.

It was not a real fiend - a girl from a mental health support group , from my old hometown. We wrote irregularly via Whatsapp and actually could not really like each other - but I was grateful for the tip with the psychologist. And now I was on the way to Dr. Flescher - of course, one of my personalities had previously thought , it was i good idea to make an appointment by phone.

"Excuse me, sir," I said as I had jostled an older man.

"Tze always this youth of today!" He complained and I could see his brown eyes glittering angrily - but then made me to move on quickly and found myself after a few minutes in the street again - where the office of Dr. med. Fletcher should be.

Of course, the youth of today was anything but not almost nice - but did I count with my 21 years still to the general youth? No, I had a job in a library and a - not necessarily normal life. Besides, I did not belong to the kind of people, who is looking for trouble.

Arriving in front of the old building, I put my headphones back in my jacket pocket, took a quick breath and then pushed the door open. Afterwards I found myself in an old staircase - there was a lot of wood and if I remembered the lettering of the bell labels properly, the Dr. Fletcher office was at the top floor

"There we are now - are you ready?" I whispered, slowly picking up the single old steps as the voices of the others spread in my head - some of them were in favor of taking this step , to talk to someone , who would help us could - but others thought it was a really stupid idea. But we did not have time to discuss it now - after all, it would be rude not to arrive on time for the appointment.

Finally i was on the right floor, where Doctor Fletchers Office was.

There were next to a few normal apartments and smaller independent practices and I found the right door quickly and pressed without further thinking about it, on the bell. There were footsteps and a few seconds later the door opened and an elderly woman with already white hair opened it.

"Hello - how can I help you?", This woman wanted to know friendly and I was so surprised that she was older than the average of psychologists, I've met in my life - most of them had finished their studies and did not know - how complex and complicated we were - they did not want to know and neither did they want to listen to us.

"Hello - I had an appointment with Dr. Fletcher," I said, and a quick, friendly smile appeared on the older woman's face before she invited me in and I hoped she would call her the name - the one with she had phoned.

A problem with my illness was , that while I was able to perceive the actions of others when they had the light, some details were blurry or missing - unfortunately I did not know who, had phoned Dr. Fletcher. The psychologist asked me to sit down on a couch and after I had taken off my jacket - I sit down on the couch. My green eyes kept an eye on the approximately 70 year old woman - waiting for her to say something that would help my memory.

"So you're Naya Kenson" said the psychologist, and I nodded- so at first I would not find out who was in charge of the others - calling here.

"Yes - that's right, thanks for taking the time to Dr. Fletcher" I replied and my gaze slid to the small bowl filled with various sweets.

"Would you like to tell me something about yourself Naya, why did you ask for an appointment?" asked after a few seconds and so I turned my attention back to her, and my green eyes sparkled a little bit nervous.

"It's - a complicated story - I've been to some psychologists and most - do not believe the story or have barely time to listen" I explained cautiously, feeling the elderly woman's calm gaze on me.

"It's important for me, that I listen to my patients - take the time you need Naya" said the psychologist and I nodded - trying calm myself a little bit down - to relax.

We all were excited about this - new unknown attitude and did not know how and if we could tell this woman anything - but I believed, that she was different - unlike the other psychologists we've met in the past few years. So it was clear - I would tell her about us - but very carefully.

"Okay - so my name is Naya Kenson, I'm 21 years old, working as a temporary worker in the Philadelphia Library, living in a small apartment near the city center and reading a lot in my free time - but I ... I .. "I'm not alone - I'm never alone, you know Doctor Fletcher - I have Dissociative Identity Disorder - also known as Multiple Personality Disorder"

I felt my heart beating a little faster - me, no, we were afraid of the reaction and in our mind's eye the reactions of the past psychologists played out - angry, disgusted, horrified, full of fear.

We were nothing to be afraid of - we are no different - we are just sick and that's not bad right?

It took a few seconds for a , before almost motherly smile to appear on the older woman's face - an unknown situation and an even less well-known reaction for us.

"I work with a person who suffers from the same disease - we have made great progress in recent years and if you want to talk about something specific, you're welcome to talk with me about that Naya - may I ask how many you are?", said and I tried to ignore the loud call of names in my head, closed my eyes briefly and after a few seconds really quiet came.

"We are 7 who live in Naya's body"

Seven different personalities plus Naya herself - who were present in the body, alternated more or less fair with receiving the light and tried to help Naya.

"I'm looking forward to meet the other personalities. Naya - would you like to have a drink?", Dr. Fletcher said afterwards and the first quiet session began, in which the young woman did not feel like somebody wanted to tell her every single detail of her life, with which you can quickly get them to the next psychiatry.