You guys! Thanks so much for being amazing. I checked in with the lovely Fanofthisfiction, and we decided I should wait a little bit to post the epilogue to keep the Feel the Love Challenge fair for everyone. So thank you for waiting.

Special thanks to Fanofthisfiction not only for the challenge, but for the opening AU prompt: SaturRey Night Fever, the Reydy Bunch, and Rey's Anatomy (the last is my favorite and the funniest thing ever).

Thanks so much for reading friends, and may the farce be with you!

The Epilogue: Rey's Anatomy

In a galaxy called Television:

It's Saturday night, and Kylo and Rey are curled up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn between them while Kylo flips through the channels.

"Omg, stop!" Rey squeals when she sees HBO is playing Saturday Night Fever. "I love John Travolta!"

Kylo looks between the screen, where a young John Travolta wears some hideous disco suit and is dancing like a clown, and Rey's enraptured face.

"Nope," Kylo says, changing the channel.

Rey protests and tries to swipe the remote from him, but Kylo holds it out of reach. She punches him in the shoulder, tickles him on his stomach, and then, laughing hysterically, knocks the remote out of his hand. The TV flicks to a Brady Bunch rerun.

"We could watch this," Rey says, settling back down and eating the popcorn that has fallen all over the couch.

Kylo rolls his eyes.

Rey chucks popcorn at him, and while he's distracted, she swipes the remote. "Oh lookie! Grey's Anatomy!"

"Rey—" Kylo begins.

"Just shut up and cuddle me on the couch," Rey says.

Kylo sighs—anything is better than John Travolta kitsch or the freaking Brady Bunch—and brushes off the couch before sitting down. Their dog, an overgrown labradoodle named Chewbacca, runs to claim the fallen pieces of popcorn while Rey curls up next to him. He puts his arm around her and prepares to be bored out of his mind.

Five minutes into the episode, lulled by the darkness and the warmth of Rey's presence at his side, he dozes off.

This is what he dreams:

He's wearing a revolting disco suit, and he's at a club, the cheesy retro music blaring. In the window, a neon sign blinks SaturRey Night Fever!

Kylo walks up to the bar and gets a drink, promising himself that he won't dance, not while he's wearing some disco suit that his dad might have worn back in the day. Not even in his dreams will he embarrass himself that badly.

Then a beautiful woman in a white dress sidles up to him, her high heels clicking on the floor. It's Rey of course, and she's pulling him to the dance floor.

"Noooooo!" Kylo moans, and with a start, he wakes up.

Rey eyes him. They are sitting in the family room, and Kylo realizes with a sinking sensation that it is the set from the Brady Bunch. Only on the far wall, there's a blinking neon sign that reads The Reydy Bunch. Kylo starts to feel sweat beading on his brow and realizes he must still be dreaming.

He and Rey are sitting on a blue couch framed on either side by shabby fake flowers. The shag carpet is extremely shaggy, and Rey's hair is extremely 1970s, in a shag do that does not flatter her features. Kylo looks down. He is still wearing his disco suit from the previous dream. Damn.

"Mom and dad will be here any minute," Rey says, "so you better think about apologizing."

Ew, Rey is his sister in this dream?

"I didn't do anything wrong," Kylo pouts.

Rey rolls her eyes. "Yeah, taking dad's car without permission and then wrecking it is nothing."

Kylo smirks. That is totally something he would do in real life.

The front door opens and in walks Hux, wearing faded jeans that are too tight and show his lack of an ass, a plaid shirt, and a 70s boy haircut that makes his face look like it belongs on a cereal box. "Dad is so going to kill you," Hux says.

Extra gross. Hux is his brother. Hopefully, he's a stepbrother…

"Well, I'm going to kill him," Kylo shoots back.

The laugh track clicks on, but Rey and Hux are not laughing.

"Son," comes a voice from off stage.

"Aw crap," Kylo says, willing himself to wake up. But he can't. He's stuck, helpless to watch as Han Solo enters, and for some reason, he's dressed up like Indiana Jones, complete with scruffy beard and cowboy hat.

"Ben, you are so grounded," Han says.

"Screw you!" Kylo roars.

"No," Han says, "we are going to talk this through until we have a warm, fuzzy ending in approximately half an hour."

Adrenaline courses through Kylo's body. He leaps off the couch and hurdles through the front door, nearly side-swiping his mother who shouts, "Beeeeeen!" after him.

The credits start to roll with the ever annoying and aggravating Reydy Bunch theme song, and Kylo runs for his life—

He stumbles, falls over, and finds himself in a hospital. The lemony scent of disinfectant tickles his nose. He rights himself and dusts off his doctor scrubs.

"Are you okay?" Rey asks, taking his elbow to steady him.

Kylo blinks at her. She is wearing a nurse's outfit, but it is awfully low cut and high cut in all the right places. Also, she's wearing white vinyl platform boots that Kylo finds strangely attractive.

"Um…" Kylo says. He rubs his head. "What show is this?"

"Rey's Anatomy," Rey says with a wink. "I think you might need a physical."

Kylo wakes with a start—really wakes up this time—and falls off of the couch, knocking over the bowl of popcorn. Chewbacca the labradoodle comes bounding over to eat the spoils.

"You snored through the whole episode," Rey complains. "Hey, are you okay? Your face is really red."

"Um, I had a weird dream." Kylo clears his throat. "Can I ask you a random question?"

"I guess so," Rey says.

"You don't happen to have a nurses's outfit…do you?"

#

And back to our galaxy far, far away:

"Do you mind if I ask you a personal question, Hux, Sir?" a lieutenant asks in the break room.

Hux sits in a black padded chair, an ankle propped on his knee. He sips English Breakfast tea out of a white porcelain cup with yellow daisies decorating the rim.

Hux nods and takes another sip, pinky up.

"Well Sir," the lieutenant says, glancing down at the black marble floor, "I know our mutiny was forgotten in the chaos of the evacuation. But, um…" He meets Hux's gaze. Swallows. "Things do seem to be better, with, you know…"

"With Kylo?" Hux asks, his smile sharp. "Indeed."

The lieutenant clears his throat. "But, um, Sir. He's literally—er, how shall I put this?"

"Sleeping with the enemy, you mean?" Hux hazards.

The lieutenant's eyes widen. He dashes to the door, opens it, and looks both ways down the hall. He relaxes a fraction, closes the door again and locks it.

"That's rather a crude way of putting it," he says, "but—yes."

Hux smiles, then takes another sip of tea (pinky up), motioning for the other man to sit back down.

"You see this?" Hux says, pointing to his throat. "And this? And this?" he says, pointing to his eyes and nose.

"Um, what exactly, Sir?"

"No bruises!" Hux shouts triumphantly, a bit of tea sloshing over the side of his cup in his enthusiasm.

The man's eyes grow as wide as the yellow daisy tea saucer. "My stars," he breathes.

"Kylo and I came to an agreement, you see," Hux says. "If he acts like a bloody prick, I'll text his girlfriend."

"Ooooh," the lieutenant says, clapping with delight. "That's good."

#

Meanwhile—

"I know you don't want to go, Muffin," Rey says, patting Kylo's arm. "But it's important for our relationship."

Kylo sighs heavily. "I wish we'd never found the real Zebab Mcgee hog-tied and missing a few tentacles in my Darth Vader memorabilia trunk."

Rey tsks. "How awful of Snoke! Can you imagine, poor Zebab squished on top of Vader's melted helmet for who knows how long?"

"He pissed on my Vader helmet," Kylo mutters.

Rey elbows him in the side. "He was locked in the trunk against his will, Ben, so that Snoke could use him for Polyjuice Potion®."

"Do you know how hard it is to get alien cephalopod piss out of—oh, never mind," Kylo says. "Listen, I'll go to couple's therapy if I have to. But it's hard. I keep thinking he'll morph into Snoke."

Rey gives his hand a squeeze. "This is exactly why we need to explore your trust issues, Ben."

She leans over to kiss him. He lets her, but he also rolls his eyes and hopes that this means she'll sleep with him tonight.

#

"Would you say Snoke was like a father figure to you?" Zebab says, while another one of his mouths chews on a pen, which Kylo finds revolting.

Kylo closes his eyes. Takes a deep breath. "No," Kylo says. "Can we just talk about the relationship now?"

Kylo checks his watch. Crap. Still eighty-five minutes of therapy left. If he can survive that long without losing his temper, he might, just might, get laid.

"This is part of the relationship, Ben," Rey says. "It's important to understand why you killed three out of three father figures."

Kylo's hand twitches for his lightsaber. "First of all," he says, "I didn't kill Luke. He exhausted himself in a stupid force projection—"

"You bloody well did try to kill him—"

"Zebab?" Kylo interjects.

"Let's let Ben finish talking about his feelings," it says.

At least Zebab is good for something. "Things were just easier when I was evil, okay?" Kylo says. "I just did whatever I wanted, when I wanted. All this crap about feeling and figuring out my attachment failures—" He makes a frustrated gesture with a gloved hand. "I just want to be with you, Rey. Why isn't that enough?"

She rests a hand on his knee. "Because, Ben," she says, "you are psychologically unsound."

Zebab clears all three throats, which is disgusting.

"It's not a judgment!" Rey protests. "It's just a fact!"

"Ben," Zebab says, "how does that make you feel?"

"How does what make me feel?" Kylo asks.

Zebab blinks at him with twenty-six eyeballs. "She just called you psychologically unsound."

"Oh. I don't know." He shrugs. "Should I care?" Kylo asks.

Zebab covers his three faces with many tentacles. "Let's move on, shall we?"

#

Later that evening:

Kylo rows a boat across a triple-moon lit lake, the light silvering Rey's profile as she looks out at the fireflies. She's quiet and pensive and that's never a good sign, but Kylo doesn't know how to break the silence.

"I don't know if I can keep doing this, Ben," Rey says at last, not looking at him.

"Keep doing what?" Kylo asks cautiously.

"I mean," Rey says, "stealing away to neutral planets to meet up for dates and pretending like we're not completely incompatible. You still haven't accepted your mother's invitation for dinner—"

"I can't do that!" Kylo snaps.

"Because she's the leader of the Rebels?"

"No…"

"Because you killed your father." Her voice is flat.

"I mean," Kylo deflects, "yeah, but that's not what I was thinking."

Rey sighs in exasperation. "What were you thinking?"

Kylo stashes the oars on their hooks, trails his fingers in the cold water. "I don't want to talk about her."

Rey crosses her arms. "I want a partner I can share my life with, Kylo."

Uh-oh. She only calls him Kylo when she's pissed. "We share things!" he protests.

Rey starts enumerating points on her fingers. "I can't bring you home because you'd blow it up."

"True," Kylo admits begrudgingly.

"You can't hang out with my friends or you'd try to kill each other."

Kylo heaves a long-suffering sigh. "I guess that's fair," he agrees.

"You want to destroy the Rebels," Rey says, "and we want to take down the First Order. Which you control."

"Um," says Kylo.

"And I forgot to mention," Rey snaps, "that I'm a freaking Jedi and you are a dark force user. I could go on, Kylo, but I'd have to start counting on my toes."

"But we love each other," Kylo says quietly, trying to mask the desperation in his voice.

Rey is quiet for a long time. Kylo starts rowing again, just for something to do.

"This is impossible," Rey says.

"No," Kylo says, his lips quirking up in a failed smile, "this is a rowboat."

"Ugh."

Kylo chuckles nervously. Time to distract Rey from thinking because she's right, of course. He uses the force to arrange the fireflies.

Ever so gently without squishing the phosphorescent bugs, just nudging them on a gentle breeze, he makes a six-foot-tall heart. The golden shape reflects in the still lake, so an echoing, upside-down silvery heart ripples in the dark water. The two hearts together look like a pair of giant, slightly mismatched wings.

Rey scoots closer to him in the boat. He stashes the oars again and puts an arm around her, then releases the fireflies. The bugs slowly spin off in random patterns of pale light.

He kisses the top of her head. As gently as he had held the fireflies, he opens their psychic connection. Rey inhales sharply, then relaxes her head back on his shoulder.

"What do you see?" Kylo says.

Rey closes her eyes. "Darkness," she says sadly. "But also light. And…" She trails off.

She can't say it, so he does for her. "And love."

Her eyes flutter open, lashes damp with tears. "It won't work out, Ben. It can't."

He brushes away the tears trickling down her face with his fingers. "I know," he says. He looks out at the lake, watches the moonlight ripple on the surface of the water. "So let's enjoy it while it lasts."

She hiccups a little. "O-okay."

He smooths down her hair, relishing the feel of her by his side. Reaching out with the force, he gathers the fireflies again into a tic-tac-toe board and places an "X" in the middle box. Rey makes a sound that is half-hiccup, half-giggle.

"Best two out of three," Kylo says. "Loser has to turn to the other side of the force."

Rey slugs him in the shoulder, but she laughs and draws a firefly "O" in the upper right corner. "You're on," she says.

END

Thanks so much for going on this ridiculous Starwarz journey with me. Thank you for reading, and please, review! :)