[[I own nothing from naruto cept the awesome amazing character I make up and that yall are here to read about. I started this fanfiction a few years ago and I thought I'd fix it up and make it better. So the first few chapters might sound a little familiar but if you read the original I hope you enjoy this even more. I worked hard make it a million times better. Your reviews and favorite fuel me and my writing so tell me what you think! ~ Ginzan ]]

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time."

-Thomas A. Edison

I watched the sky from the rooftops as the clouds slowly drifted on the wind, being pulled toward the horizon. The sky changed from its normal perfect blue to one of oranges and reds. It was my favorite time of day. The time between day and night. The clouds drifted peacefully toward the east as the wind picked up ever so slightly. I wondered if they could realize what was happening to them, that there was nothing they could do to stop the current of the wind. They were forever stuck going whichever way the wind commanded them. The cloud could wish with all their might to go in a different direction, but the wind would pay them no heed, as it continued its pull.

Something spooked a few birds in a group of trees nearby and they shot up in the air. Flying the opposite direction of the clouds. I watched as they fought the wind and forged their own path. One they chose to part take in.

Were people like birds or clouds? Were we meant to ride the path that was easiest for us to follow or were we meant to fight and forge our own path? Such deep thoughts to have right before work but it was hard to hold my mind back. It would wander to the other side of the world if I had the time to let it think of such things. Though sadly my time had been slowly dwindling as my new position in emergency ward quickly approached.

With a short sigh and book in hand, I shifted my gaze to my left, looking at the stone faces of the Hokages. My eyes stopped as I looked at the second one. Tobirama Senju, my parents spoke well of him. Scanning the rest of the faces, observing them carefully. Though they bore very little resemblance to the real thing, you could see who they were going for.

Another sigh escaped my lips as I shut my book and set it off to the side, and looked in the direction of the hospital. From this height, I could see a couple of the roofs that made up the main building. It was the largest one in Konoha and it dealt with the majority of the emergency that occurred on a regular basis. Why couldn't they have put me in a small little clinic on the quiet side of town that took care of most of the civilians? Though I knew better to ever dream of such a peaceful living like that.

Tomorrow was going to be my first-day taking care of patients. I finished the last of my classes and I was ready to enter the workforce as a medical-nin. Most would be ecstatic about this but I wasn't. I always felt I was born into the wrong family or maybe switched at birth. I was only doing this because I was meant to. I dreaded going to work. I wasn't good with people or with pain. Both of which were gonna end up happening to me.

I took little joy in joining the medical field but I had little option. My entire family were medical-nin and, for good reason. From my mother's side, she had a minor Kekkei Genkai that was quite good for medical use. She had even met my father while working, and boom that's how I and my siblings ended up in this world.

Her Genkai was called Shigan. Though not as famous as other Genkai's, ours was quite unique. It allowed us to protect people who we bound ourselves to. Though I had yet to try it, my mother told us plenty of her own experiences and told us to not fear it. She told us how every mission she would bond with her teammates before they would start. If they were to be injured or poisoned she would take the damage to her own body instead of their own. She could never die from the wounds but doing so cause her great pain and if any of her teammates would die, the effect it would have on her body was horrible. What allowed us to do this is that our chakra was plentiful and it flowed through our body more so than average ninja. Whenever our bodies would sustain injury our chakra would rush to the spot and start healing, without command from the body or without hand signs. It was quite handy as a child when you got a scratch or a broken bone from a brother pushing you off a roof.

Though we could take most any injury, some were impossible to stop. Deathblows and internal organs failing. If someone's heart was pulled out their chest or if they lost a limb, we could not take those types of injuries. A slice or a cut was easier than perhaps a gaping hole in the side.

She tried to describe to us what happened when she would take an injury, but most of the time we couldn't understand. That was till she showed us with our father. She made a few hand signs that my brothers and I had long since learned and bound herself to our father. Taking a knife from our kitchen, she cut him ever so slightly. Though we saw it cut his flesh, it quickly healed and left only the faintest of scares that would soon also disappear as if there had never been a cut. He didn't even flinch from the cut. However, on mother, a wound appeared and we could see her cringe ever so slightly. However, it healed almost as quickly thanks to her Genkai's. At the time when she showed us all, my brothers seemed in awe of this power, while I just stared in horror. What a horrible power to have. To have the ability to save others in favor of your own pain. How could you ask a child to grow up like that?

My two elder brothers were great at taking the pain of others. My eldest brother was an ANBU and the other was currently being considered to be a Jonin. Then here I was, hating every moment of being a medical ninja and dreading my first day. Though I did my best to avoid my family ever really knowing how much I hated it, some days I thought my mother would look at me sadly.

Turning my attention away from my thoughts and back to the horizon, the clouds had all but disappeared leaving me only with the setting sun. Only the very top of it shown through the edge of the treeline before disappearing as if never existed. Wouldn't that be nice? To just disappear and have no one know where you were? Though the sun was also ruled by its own path. It would always rise and always set, without fail. Closing the book I got to my feet and headed in the direction of my home. I dreaded tomorrow but it would come no matter what I thought or felt. Might as well try and get some rest before the horrible day I was going to have tomorrow.

Sleep didn't come easy, even with the sleeping pill I took, I couldn't even close my eyes for more than a moment. So when the time came to wake up and prepare for the day ahead of me, I looked horrible. My normally soft green eyes were muddied and hollow looking. This was only complimented by the rat's nest that was my hair. It was a dark red that hung as far down as my fingertips. However, it looked a few inches shorter thanks to all the knots that now claimed my hair as their new home. Pulling it into a low ponytail I hoped that no one really noticed how bad it looked.

Pulling on a pair of blue scrubs I had bought for my first day, I sighed at the image that reflected in my mirror. I looked bad and I felt even worse if that was possible. Walking downstairs I was greeted with an empty home but a small plate made for me. Everyone had already headed out for the day for their own work. Taking a piece of toast I put the rest back in the fridge for later. I was going to be late if I didn't get going soon.

The walk to the hospital was a short one that I also hated. It was so close to my home that if they ever needed me, I could be there almost instantly. I didn't want to be the person everyone relied on when shit hit the fan. I was the person who didn't want to be there.

Walking through the back entrance to the emergency sector, another nurse in bright pink scrubs stopped what she was doing and looked at me oddly. She hadn't seen me before but she seemed like she needed to tell me something important. "Go ahead and head home, you look like you need the rest." Ouch, that hurt. I looked so bad that they already thought I needed to go home. I should have just said ok and left but my moral part of me, no matter how small it was made me stay. After informing her that I was one of the new staff that would be starting today. She eyed me again and to speak to Nala, she was the head nurse and would instruct me on what I'd be doing. Great.

Having found my target I made my way over. Nala was an older woman who looked like she'd been doing this too long. She had short grey hair that curled at her ears and a large nose, though it fit her face well. I wouldn't call her attractive but she was average. I approached as she was sternly speaking with some of the other nurses who had made a mistake. I just now noticed that they were all in shades of pinks. I stood out like a sore thumb in my blue scrubs. But pink really really really wasn't my color.

Once I was close enough for her to notice the blue hue she annoyingly glared at me then back at her clipboard. She pushed past the first few dozen pages and stopped on one then focused her attention back to me.

"One, female nurses will only wear pink scrubs, blue are for men. Two, you will be working in extensive care since you don't appear very good with people,"

"Excuse me Ma'am but you don't ev-'"

"Three, you will not interrupt me while I am speaking. We have files on all the newcomers, and your says you have horrible bedside manners. The patients you will be taking care of will be either in too much pain or knocked out to talk with you. We can't do much for your scrubs for tonight, now pick up a chart and start being useful," Concluding her talk with me she continued with the other nurses she was talking to and completely forgot I existed. Great, this was going to be so much fun for the next 50 years. I grumbled to myself as another nurse had shown up and told me which beds I needed to tend to. I simply nodded and headed for bed 27. My very first patient all by myself. Oh, joy.

Pulling back the pale blue curtain that separates all the beds in this area, I found a young man lying in bed. He appeared to be out cold either from pain or meds. I hoped he didn't wake up. Though the head nurse was rude, she was right. I was horrible with people. I didn't care enough, as one of my previous teachers had told me. That I lacked the empathy for people that most medical-nin possessed. That had been a low day for me, to be told that the job you'd be doing for the rest of the life, was ill-suited for you and that you were already going to be bad at it. Thought I already knew this, hearing someone verbalize it, just made it worse.

Grabbing the chart at the end of the bed I looked over the information to figure out what was ailing the man and hopefully fix some of the issues.

Name: Kakashi Hatake

Sex: Male

Age: 26

Blood Type: O

Height: 181 cm

Weight: 67.5 kg

Rank: Jonin (Former ANBU)

Injury: Large laceration to the lower abdomen, suspected poisoned, high blood pressure, and dangerously low chakra reserves

I scanned the rest of his medical history. Seems like he didn't like coming to the hospital. Though to be fair, most ninja hated being here. I hated being here. They never thought themselves weak and being here in some minds was being weak. I didn't have an opinion on the matter. I normally healed quick enough thanks to my chakra that any injury I sustained would be healed in hours.

Every time he's been forcibly placed in here, I could tell by the different signatures that signed him in. A lot of them being the Hokage's own signature. Thanks to him being stubborn his injuries had gotten worse for the delayed treatment. Another common happening. Ninja's thinking they were invincible and pushing themselves too far. I wonder how that felt, to feel the need to do anything for the village.

I sat down the chart on the side table and checked his vitals on the machine. He seemed to be doing better, his blood pressure even had started to drop a bit. That was always a good sign. I turned and for the first real time, I really looked at him other. He had spiky white hair that I assumed made him look a lot older than he was, seeing as he was only six years older than I was. I reached forward and touched him carefully looking for any other wounds that wouldn't be as obvious as a wound to his abdomen would be. Using skilled hand, I did a mental check from a list I had memorized just for this.

Nothing in his hair, no other cuts or abrasions on his scalp. I moved his headband and masks out of the way. He had an old scar over his left eye that had long since healed. Something he must have gotten in his youth. His face was otherwise fine. Putting his headband and masks on the table I continued with my checklist. Until I had gotten to his abdomen everything was looking good. He had a few extra scratches but none of them were infected or had been deep enough to be the source of any possible poisons. I started to pull down his blanket but stopped when the cranky nurse pulled back the curtain to check on me. I quickly covered my lips with my fake smile and she rambled on to one of the other nurses who followed her around then promptly left. I held my smile for a few moments after she left then dropped it to my resting face.

Turning back to the patient I pulled back his blanket and observed his bandages on his stomach. The blood had already started to stain the white cloth. How long was he here that he already needed a bandage change? Opening a drawer next to the bed, I fetched some clean bandages and started to take off his old one. Once the soiled ones were off I could clearly see the wound. It was particularly nasty as the edges had started to show signs of infection. He also appeared to still be bleeding. If he was poisoned it appeared that it had a blood thinning property that was stopping his natural healing.

A thought hit me as I glanced toward the entrance of the curtains and back at the man that laid before me. I had never used my special ability on anyone and this looked to be a good time to start. If I was going to be a medical-nin I had better start being at least decent at it.

"I'm sorry if this doesn't work. I mean worse comes to worse I can't use it and I just have to use regular medication and medical jutsu," I spoke softly to myself as I started forming a few hand signs. My hands started to glow a soft green and I placed my left hand over his heart and said some silent words. After a moment, a symbol formed in the middle of his chest right above his heart.

I had no clue what would happen as the symbol finished forming. At first, nothing seemed to happen, the next a pain ripped through my body, forcing me to the ground in pain. I could feel the blade ripping through his flesh and organs. I could feel it as if someone had just done it. The infection was the worse part of it. I could feel it fester and boil as it formed and healed in my body. It felt like a bug had crawled into my abdomen and had started to eat the edges of the wound. I wasn't braced enough for what happened. I held my body closely keeping myself from screaming. I did my best to breathe deeply and calm myself down. After an agonizing amount of time, the pain started to fade but there was an ache that lasted no matter how long I waited for it to go away.

Once I was able to stand, I picked myself up and leaned against the edge of the bed, trying to regulate my breathing. Still holding myself, I looked at the man's stomach and there was a faint scar where his gash had been. I looked in awe at how it was gone. Something so huge was gone as if it had only been a mere scratch. Glancing at his blood pressure, it had returned to normal and he seemed to be in the clear now.

Placing my hand over the mark I had left on him, it disappeared. I sat down in the chair next to him and just counted my breaths. I never wanted to feel like that again. It was a terrible feeling. I had never been in real combat other than my Chunin exam and I'm pretty sure I only passed because I got super lucky in the last fights. I didn't deserve Chunin rank. I don't think I even deserve to be a ninja, more so after this small incident.

Covering my face with my hands and I felt tears start to slip onto my wrist. I was pathetic. Why was I even here? I don't belong here. I didn't care about these people. I was a piss poor ninja and I'm only here because of my family's Genkai. I'm the worst. I bit my lower lip hard to stifle a whimper. "Why am I doing this…" I asked softly to myself as the world started to collapse around me. I always knew I was never cut out for this. I should have been stronger to tell them that. To tell them I wouldn't be a medical-nin. I didn't know who I even was anymore. Because I wasn't myself. I was who everyone wanted me to be. Who they expected me to be.

Feeling a hand on my shoulder, my head jerked up. My very first patient stared at me with concern. A man who could have possibly died today on his mission was worried about little old me. The shame hit me and I stunned for a moment. I wasn't sure what I should do now. His piercing gaze had me trapped and his hand on my shoulder was almost the pillar of support that I craved. I could feel his gaze searching for something in my own and it scared me. No one had looked at me in this way.

Breaking his gaze I quickly apologized and stood up and out of his reach. This man had seen me for what I really was. I was a coward and weakling. I worked very hard to prevent anyone ever seeing this side of me. I quickly informed him that he would be fine and that there were chakra supplements on the table next to him and I promptly left.

Making sure there were no tears lingering in my eyes I made my way to the next bed. Though there was nothing more I'd rather do than to hide in a closet somewhere. Someone today had already seen my weakness and for at least today, no one else would see it. I avoided that area for the rest of the night as I continued as if nothing had happened. I changed people's bandages and gave them medicine just as I was supposed to. Thankfully most all the patients were asleep while I took care of them. A few woke up or were already awake from the pain and I had to try to keep them calm. Never in my life had I been cursed at as much as I had that night. Who knew ninja's got cranky in a hospital? The shift passed slowly as I learned about my new job. Other nurses would tell me what I was doing wrong, while the head nurse Nala would make annoying comments about my blue scrubs or that my bandages were poorly done. I would simply nod and just accepted her comments. Whether they were true or not, I didn't care. I just wanted to make it through this day.

Toward the end of my shift, I was sitting in one of the nurses resting room with a cup of hot coffee. I hadn't taken a single sip of it but I enjoyed the warmth I felt through the cup. Hospitals were always so cold.

"Did you see the patient in the third bed? He is so cute! I was half tempted to see if he was well endowed as his face was," I heard a few other female nurses giggling and I thought about rolling my eyes but kept quiet as I looked at the dark liquid in my cup.

Nala showed up not long after and looked around the room till she found me, "You are done for the night, get some rest and get here the same time tomorrow," I looked up just in time to see her leave the room. The other girls looked at me and I just smiled at them as I got on my feet and headed for the exit. I threw away the coffee as I left the rest area.

Once out of the hospital I made way toward the Hokage's heads. The trip was much longer than the one back to my home. It was late night maybe even early morning but I wasn't ready to go home. It wasn't long till I was on top of the fourth Hokage. I let everything go and watched the moon slowly make its way across the night sky. Tears streamed from the edges of my eyes without my consent as my body relaxed. I didn't care, no one was here to see me like this. I was alone once more and it was nice. I didn't have to hide who I was where I was alone. The moon would never share these moments we shared. She would simply greet me when she had the time and continue on her path.

"Would you trade me places? Do you hate your existence as much as I hate my own? Do you hate how you always must pull and push the tides? Do you ever wish, even for just a single day, to be the sun? Or are you happy?" I laughed softly to myself but soon it turned to sniffles as the tears seem to flow stronger. "I bet that was the first time anyone ever asked if you were happy. Maybe one day when someone asks me if I'm happy I'll be able to say yes and mean it. Though I won't hold my breath." Turning my head away from the moon, I sat up and looked over the village. The village that was my home.

My name is Aki Noragi. I am the third child in my family. My two older brothers loved their jobs and the "gift" we were given by my mother. My parents are madly in love and love all their children equally. I am 20 years old and just started the job I'll most likely have for the rest of my life.

My life sounded like it was anyone ideal one. Loving family. A good job that pays well. But here I was, crying like a child. I loved my family very much and they meant the world to me but this wasn't me. I wasn't meant to be this way. I don't even know what I want to be. No one ever asked and I never entertained the idea of picking. I accepted my fate long ago and yet here I was. Still crying about it. Would this be how I spent the rest of my life? Crying? No, at some point this would all be normal. After a few years, I would just be used to it. I would stop crying and just accept that this was my life. I wish I didn't have to.

But what other choice did I have?