Privately, Lovino took a fair amount of pride in his quasi-successful social media accounts. Publically, Lovino would never admit that he even had these accounts in the first place.

Tumblr for the dark memes that hit a bit too close to home, Twitter for his idle musings (usually complaints about politics and doing menial tasks, so no wonder it was his most popular platform), and Instagram for his many aesthetically pleasing photos of pasta. Lovino had it all. Except, Facebook was Feliciano's realm. Lovino dare not tread there.

It was a very organized system that sometimes fed briefly into Lovino's desire for validation, but he had to admit, other times it was just… Lacking.

But, oh well. No use overthinking about things.

Lovino unplugged his phone and rolled to his other side. Seeing as how he was awake, he might as well send a text to Alfred.

12:12 PM

Bastard.

He felt better already.

Alfred sat idling in the Target parking lot well after Matthew had already gone inside, fingers on the steering wheel tapping idly along to "Dream On" that was drifting from the radio. What to do now?

"Sing with me," Steven Tyler suggested. "Sing for the years."

Nah. Alfred turned the radio down a notch.

Sighing, Alfred pulled out his phone. Maybe he could hit somebody up and they could hang out for the day? But, no, maybe not, because Alfred only had about seven contacts in his phone, including his parents and Matthew. Toris had likely been called in to take Alfred's shift today, so that crossed him off the list, and Lovino probably wouldn't be happy to see Alfred so soon after this morning. Gilbert's number was still in his phone, but he'd "been laid off of college" (as Matthew had explained it, although Alfred wasn't sure how one went about getting paid leave of school) a few months ago and they hadn't really spoken much since. That left just Arthur, but Alfred seriously doubted his history professor would appreciate him dropping by on a Sunday, especially when he was still a few days behind on the homework for the class.

Well, he wasn't about to go back to his dorm, that was for sure. Mostly because he'd saran wrapped everything Ivan owned (including his bed and his desk) and was not prepared to return to whatever Ivan had done/would do in retaliation (regardless, Alfred had no regrets).

His phone dinged and lit up in his hands. Reluctant at first to open the message, he considered ignoring it in case it was another threat from Ivan (the last had simply read "come home so I can kill you ^_^." It was made creepier by the fact that the number was unlisted and only showed a single question mark). Thankfully, it was just Lovino.

Tomato Slut 12:12 PM

Bastard.

Alfred snorted. Classic.

McBastard 12:13 PM

Sorry lol. are you busy today dude? we could hang out er something

Lovino groaned melodramatically. Leaving the house? On a Sunday? No thank you. He politely declined the offer and opened up Chrome.

Only to be greeted immediately by a grossly positive ad about the maintenance of friendship relying on cooperation and willingness to spend time together.

"What is this even trying to sell me?" Lovino complained out loud with a tsk. "And why is now of all times the first I ever see it."

Clicking out of the ad only replaced it with another even brighter one, with horrible comic sans font proclaiming, "experts say going outside and being social is good for your health."

Lovnio scoffed, now well and truly offended. Some experts those liars must be. "Who do you think you are! If this is the stupid universe giving me a sign you can go to Hell. Leave me alone!" It occurred to him then that he was yelling at his phone like an idiot, and he groaned in embarrassment. "This is stupid."

Tomato Slut 12:14 PM

Fuck off.

Well, it couldn't be said that Alfred hadn't expected as much. He sighed and let his phone slip dramatically through his fingers and into his lap.

Well, he supposed there were other things to do. He could window shop at wal-mart, drive around the city with his good friend the radio, maybe take a nap in his car…

Before his thoughts could get too sad, his phone chimed once again.

Tomato Slut 12:18 PM

Whatever im driving. i dont want to be seen in your trashy car.

Somehow relieved and offended at the same time, Alfred shook his head fondly. Well, now he had to figure out what they could do for a few hours. He was pretty sure Ivan would check all the fast food restaurants in town first, so it was best to stay well away from those for awhile. And while this of course was a fact to mourn- because although he'd just eaten breakfast at Denny's he couldn't deny that McDonald's sounded extra good at the moment- at least he knew of one thing he and Lovino could bond over for the afternoon: screwing with car salespeople by taking brand new cars for test runs until revealing that they're poor college students.

This was going to be a good day.

"It worked!" Antonio announced proudly (or rather, he practically squealed in excitement). "I got him to go outside! But he did yell a lot."

"Doesn't he always yell a lot?" Kiku pointed out, once again having overheard after walking by with a new cup of coffee.

"Well," Antonio drew the word out a bit, trying to think of something to say in defense. "Not all the time. He's very cute, you know!"

"How do you help him?" Kiku asked tentatively. "I know that we are not supposed to interact with them at all, but it's very hard to ignore them sometimes." Hesitantly, he added, "Especially when the one you are assigned to is not going to work or doing his homework and is instead crying while watching Friends or The Office every day."

Francis quickly rolled his chair over to join the conversation and Kiku casually hid his coffee cup. "Matthew is not like that," he chirped boastfully. "But his lack of a love life is really concerning… And he does have a few… attributes that make me sad. It is a good thing that he has someone like me looking out for him!"

Kiku grimaced. "But… How do you two interfere without giving yourselves away?"

Antonio shrugged. "I send ads or wrong number texts. Sometimes I him nice things on Twitter or send him asks on Tumblr- he likes those. And once or twice I tried to call but he doesn't answer numbers he doesn't know. Which is very smart!"

"I have an account on this app that I talk to Matthew on sometimes," Francis said. At the incredulous look from Kiku, he quickly added, "it is not creepy! I mostly just help him exercize his French. We do not talk much."

"Uh, that's a bit risky," Kiku said carefully. "I think I will stick with Antonio's advice. No offense, Francis."

"It really is not as bad as it seems!" Francis protested.

A sudden irritated shout came from one of the cubicles in front of them, and Elizabeta poked her head over the flimsy half wall to glare at the other three agents. "Sorry to interrupt your conversation but some of us have stressful issues to take care of and all the chatter is not very helpful!"

"Aw, what has Gilbert gotten himself into today?" Francis asked with a fond grin.

"Don't tell me Ludwig grounded him again, the three of us were going to go out tonight!" Antonio laughed.

Elizabeta rolled her eyes. "No," she sighed. "It is… Complicated. I can give you more details after work." She dropped back down into her seat only to jump back up for a second to add, "or you could ask him yourselves. Just please let me figure out what to do here."

Francis, Kiku, and Antonio exchanged glances. "Good luck," Kiku called helpfully.

"I wonder what is going on?" Francis whispered a few seconds later.

Antonio shrugged. "I guess we'll find out. Hey, Kiku, are you going to drink that?"

Sorry about the wait! It's summer now so I should be able to update at least a little bit more frequently. But hey, if you get bored I have other Hetalia stories if you're interested ;) (please excuse my shameless self promo)

Anyway, please let e know what you thought! I'm sorry if this seemed like a filler chapter but it's important. The next chapters are (probably) going to be longer and more interesting.

Thank you guys so much for reviewing, favoriting, and reading! It means a lot to me :)