+ + + Schizotypal + + +

Disclaimer: I don't own 'Naruto' and I make no money from these writings

A/N: This is the final chapter! :O Sorry for the long wait! *hides* Thank you all for your wonderful, amazing support, I truly appreciate it! *heart*

I hope some parts in this chapter won't seem too surreal. But those surreal encounters are perhaps the most non-fictive part in this.

On a side note, Muse's song "The Dark Side" was a source of inspiration. I know the song is probably not about schizo experience but the lyrics fit into Naruto's character in this story. The singer's voice is so ghostly, like fog over water, or a ship sailing soundlessly in the night.

And David Lynch's production, such as Twin Peaks – The Return was a source of inspiration. His movie about the Elephant Man has also been an inspiration. His style is morbid and frightening and brilliant in ways that leaves you haunted for a long time.

Chapter 10: Sackhead Returns

Over the past two weeks, not much had changed.

With a blessing from their sister Temari, the brothers had started to look for a new house somewhere far away from their unwanted neighbor. Unfortunately the price of their late parents' house was not as high as they had hoped, and Naruto remembered the apologetic look on the realtor's face when she had delivered the news.

As far as Naruto knew, their faraway sister would get one third of the money, and with the remaining two thirds they really hadn't much enviable options left. The need of renovation was apparent, not only in this childhood home they were slowly getting rid of, but on every other place there was on the market within their price range.

Whatever option they would eventually choose, it seemed clear they would lose an alarming amount of square meters and the garden, too, and instead be squashed in a place much smaller and less private.

Naruto peeked through the curtains of his room. Baki was nowhere to be seen now, but lately they had seen the man parading on his yard, taking care of the neglected garden and even though it looked like he never glanced this way, Naruto was sure that one hidden eye was constantly observing them.

Today was the first day of his week-long holiday. Naruto munched on chips while sitting on his bed, the crunchy sound bringing him odd comfort as it now felt he wasn't completely alone in this old, creaking house.

Kankuro was at work and Gaara was attending to his daily work try-out at the local youth work center, where Tenten worked at.

He was alone in the house and it was 10 o'clock in the morning. The chips were gone and the silence felt even stronger now than before. He hummed, trying to fool himself into believing he had a friend in here. A flickering presence―like a static screen of a television―behind his back made him turn around abruptly.

There was no one in sight.

Naruto squeezed the empty chip bag in his hand and the noise calmed him down. He did more of that, then hummed and eventually sang. The stairs creaked and with a frightened shriek, he dashed into the tiny bathroom across his room.

Behind the locked door he felt a tiny bit safer. A glance at his watch told him it would be only six more hours until somebody came home. Maybe it was the suspense movie he had seen the other day. Or that skillfully illustrated document about occultism, or just the lack of proper sleep added to his recently increased caffeine consumption.

Whatever the reason, one thing was clear.

He was back. The Elephant Man was waiting for him on the other side of the door.

The next day, Naruto made sure he ate an extra amount of breakfast before Gaara and Kankuro left the house, for he knew that when he was alone he might not have the courage to come back to the kitchen. No, he would be locked up in his room―or in the bathroom, if needed. At least there he could drink water and do his business.

Kankuro was still lazily eating his porridge when Naruto wished Gaara good day and then climbed up the stairs to his room. He hated holidays. He hated being alone like this. And when Sakura had reminded him of his unused vacation days, he hadn't had any idea how excruciating it would be to abide the law and stay out of work.

If he could, he would never stop working. Work brought a safe routine to his life, and being around other people prevented them from coming to him.

It started with a tiny mechanical noise in his ears. It could've been the heating system or air ventilation as well. It got louder, harassing the border of his consciousness as he tried to shut his ears. It stopped, and then began again. His brain tried to figure out what the source of that confusing noise was.

And then it suddenly hit him.

Someone was dragging dead bodies in there, in the corridor, and the sound was coming closer.

Sunlight was pouring into his room. There were no shadowy corners or other signs of threat in sight, yet still someone was rapping at his door―for that was that weird new sound wasn't it? Someone at his door!

Naruto breathed heavily and squeezed the sheets. It wasn't even nine in the morning and he was already losing it. His heart rate sped up until it suddenly slowed down on its own. All the sounds disappeared into silence and the eerie presentiment hanging in the air yielded. Sunlight was suddenly stronger again and birds chirped cheerily behind the window.

How strange. But Naruto was too relieved to question it.

At noon Naruto was in the garden, watering the plants as he had promised to Gaara. Wind had picked up since morning and when it traveled through the yard, leaves hissed fearfully like an unorganized orchestra. A brief shower of rain rattled against the roof and windows and Naruto realized all the birds had fallen silent.

He glanced around but no one was there. Where ever he turned, he felt a looming presence behind his back and with fastened pace he strode back to the house. Someone was following him but he couldn't see it, it was always behind his back.

Heart pounding he slammed the front door shut and leaned against it. Some dark corners in the hallway vibrated, reminding him once again of the static screen of TV. There was no one there but he could feel eyes on him.

He was about to climb up the stairs and return to his room, when a creaky sound came clearly from up there. His grip on the handrail tightened and when he heard someone breathe right in his ear he lost it and ran headlong out of the house, screaming.

Like a dart he shot across the yard, under his special apple tree, and squeezed the trunk with his trembling fingers.

The sounds of the world came back to him with each deep breath he took. Someone was mowing their lawn a few houses away. Birds were singing on the upper branches of the tree, and the ripe apples smelled sweet and delicious. A dog was barking somewhere, and a trio of children visiting their grandparents in a nearby house yelled and laughed and cried before something else caught their attention again.

Everybody was around him. He wasn't alone. The buzz of the lawnmower, as well as the high-pitched squeals of the happy children, anchored him into the present moment. Sackhead had no place in here.

Naruto stayed under the tree until he heard Kankuro's car hum along the street in the afternoon. Before the brunet could have a good view of the yard, Naruto was already there next to the short bushes, holding an empty watering can in his hand and pretending to be watering the plants.

The next day Naruto was all alone again.

He lay on his bed all but relaxed, staring fearfully around and startling at every little sound.

He was so scared he was sure he'd die from that alone. Even a move of his muscle could set motion to all the invisible things that floated in the room and send world into chaos. This was simply unbearable―he could not go on like this. This was too much. There was too much time left until someone would come home, and he was already on his limits. He couldn't go on like this.

He would die, or worse and his heart was pounding like a washing machine at 1400 rpm.

This was too much. And he didn't want to feel this pervasive fear that locked him into place and numbed him from living his life. There had to be an option. There had to be a weapon to win against Sackhead.

Like, for example, claws so long they could pierce his enemy, claws which could cut sound or breath or presence. How it would be wonderful to slash his nightmare in slices and see him disappear like vapor. Naruto would grow tall and big and he would suck the world into the black hole in his belly, rise high like a balloon and then float in front of the sun.

Tables would be turned and Naruto would become the one Sackhead feared.

The Elephant Man would run away in fear this time and Naruto would follow him while cackling loudly like a coyote. The fear of others would be his gasoline, it would be the air he breathed and the meat he feasted on, until all the fear in the world would be inside his swollen belly, and he would become the strongest of them all.

Naruto smirked and got up from the bed. Pulling his shoulders back and fixing his posture, he scanned the room with a wide grimace on his face. His sharp row of teeth glistened in the sunlight and eerily he cracked his knuckles.

His claws were sabers long and merciless, his fur was an armor, hard like concrete, and on his back it rose to spikes sharp like those of a hedgehog's. With a growl he let his presence known and the sweet tremor of energy around him told him they were all afraid of him.

He growled and laughed and his fear subsided to minimum. His thoughts were arrows that quickly found their destination. Intrigued, Naruto followed where they led him.

Without advance warning he ripped open his closet and scanned it with his blazing eyes. The presence got away―this time―but he followed it to the bathroom, jumping behind the shower curtain only to feel him escape again. With a grin so wide it hurt his face he cantered along the corridor, down the stairs, growling and stopping only at the stairs that led to the basement floor.

As long as he had lived here, he had felt dread towards that dimly lit set of stairs that led underground. But as soon as fear flickered in him, he gritted his teeth and ran headlong there, yelling and catching air in his fists, trying to get a hold of the presence he wanted to demolish.

The energy was fast and he hissed in frustration as it flew right past him, back upstairs, and he followed and cursed and punched a wall just to give a warning.

This was it. He was going to end it, once and for all, and with a desperate yell he ran to his room and sunk his nails in the carpet. The feeble pulse of energy against his palm felt satisfying and the victorious grin on his face revealed his fangs. In order to drive away the uncertain amount of fear in his own heart, he growled threateningly.

Slowly the energy vanished and he wasn't sure if it was truly dying or just sinking under the floorboards. Exhausted, he lay down on the carpet and stared at the ceiling. After all he had been through, he felt oddly peaceful.

"Hello."

It was Gaara's soft voice, but he was not in the house.

"Are you okay?" the voice asked again and Naruto smiled feebly, feeling more comforted by his auditory hallucination than he probably should.

Those were the two things Gaara often said whenever he came to his room when he was in the middle of something intense that was going on inside his head.

The idea that even at a moment like this his dear, cherished friend was here beside him, looking after him, made him courageous and calm and right then he just knew that whatever false vision or sound or feeling his unstable mind would offer him, he would be alright.

Gaara would be there, looking after him, even if it was only in his head.

More than well he knew his symptoms seemed to be sadly taking a more psychotic turn, but unlike ever before, now he felt he had a weapon against the horrors that kept him painfully aware of the world hidden from others.

No matter if wolves howled next to his bed, or if the Elephant Man's leather gloves slowly tightened around his throat, or if the rapping noises all over his room never stopped, he could take it. His body would always remain intact, and all he had to do was let the visions walk past him and run the course they had.

When the real Gaara came home later, he spotted Naruto lying on the bed, hands neatly crossed over his stomach. Naruto heard him approach and when their gazes met, he noticed his friend's concern. If only he had words which would explain what he was feeling, but there were none.

All he had was this overwhelming peace and the knowledge that no matter what, a part of Gaara would always be there by his side.

Gaara dropped his bag to the floor and quietly lay down next to him. His warm hand stroked Naruto's expressionless face. Naruto wanted to move, to speak but all he could feel was colors. And the colors were nothing but a scattered mess floating and connecting and mending together. Maybe an hour or longer they stayed like that. The colors were glowing in yellow hues now and Naruto found his voice.

"There is a man I fear the most. The sack on his head hides his face, and when he unveils it for you, the game is over. In my orange form I fought him. I evolved into something bigger and each of my fingers turned into a dagger. When my body lay on the ground, victorious, peace overcame. I was not alone. You were there, under my skin. You are under my skin and your perpetual love is what keeps me in course."

Time seemed to stop. Gaara's pensive stare penetrated all of his layers. Maybe he saw his soul right then.

"You are under my skin, in my heart. But then there are others, hovering over my skin and hiding me underneath. But the most precious feeling is you by my side, and I know you will never go away."

Slowly Naruto's eyes moved to Gaara, but the rest of him lay still and he felt like a stone. The room was a river scurrying fast by, but he and Gaara were rocks in the bottom, unmoving and everlasting.

"I am a fox, sometimes. I've been a girl and a handsome man. But now, my skin is concrete and somewhere under, lava slowly streams. I am safe now. Nothing can hurt me."

Gaara nested Naruto's head under his chin, slowly stroking his arm. Naruto was happy he hadn't tried to kiss him, for his lips were stiff and made out of cement. He was afraid Gaara wouldn't understand.

"I am here for as long as you need me to. I'm not going away," the redhead finally said. "You can always talk to me. I am not afraid of anything."

The lava underneath shifted and bubbled and his thick armor warmed up. Yellow got stronger and his chained soul expanded. For everything this world―or the one only he saw―could offer, the only thing he needed was Gaara.

A week later, the ice covering Naruto's consciousness had almost melted and he wasn't a prisoner of his frozen mind anymore. Even so his emotions hadn't yet returned inside his body. Right now his feelings were a disoriented tangle a few meters away from him, like a big ball of yarn. And he was attached to that bundle with two thin strings.

Always after his psychotic episodes his brain went blank for a week or so, as if his mind was trying to recover from the overdrive it had endured. Each time recovery was slow yet sure.

But this time it seemed his change of mood hadn't gone unnoticed by certain redhead.

"Is there something wrong with you, Naruto?" Gaara asked as they parked on their home yard after a trip to nearby grocery store.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm better than ever," Naruto replied confidently and pulled out his keys from the ignition switch.

But Gaara only gave him a suspicious look. The blond ignored it and unbuckled his seat belt. He was about to get out of the car when he realized his friend wasn't making a move to leave. A little confused, Naruto stayed still and tried to understand what was going on.

"Aren't you going to put the handbrake on?" Gaara asked.

Sure enough, the handbrake was not on. Naruto wondered what had caused him to forget, but quickly fixed his mistake and thought nothing more of it.

"Naruto…" the redhead's voice was softer now. He looked worried. "I hate to tell you this but you don't drive as well as you used to."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto huffed and crossed his arms in a defensive manner.

Gaara averted his gaze, searching for words. "To me it looks like you're not able to read the traffic quickly enough, and it leads you into a lot of surprises. Like that van you almost crashed into. It was right in front of you, Naruto."

Naruto's mouth was a tight line and he stared through the dusty windshield of his beloved vehicle. The van had appeared out of nowhere and it was ridiculous to blame him for not seeing it fast enough.

"Besides, I've noticed you've started parking your car further away from other vehicles. At first I didn't think anything of it, until I noticed how difficult it was for you to aim between the parking lines when there are distractions around," Gaara said quietly and his voice sounded so sad.

"I've just been tired lately," Naruto explained.

"Is that really it? As far as I know, you sleep more hours now than before."

"Well who are you? A police?" the blond quipped and stepped out of the car.

Gaara followed, albeit his movements were calm and hesitant. He took out the groceries from the back seat and when the blond was making his way towards the house, he called after him.

"The doors, Naruto."

With an annoyed huff, the blond strode back and locked the doors. When he put his keys into his pocket, he realized his phone was missing. Gaara met his alarmed look with a soft expression.

"Maybe check inside the glove department," the redhead only said and started walking to the house.

All evening Naruto was feeling uneasy. The distress pulsed inside his ball of yarn and he glanced at the imaginary thing. Inside his heart, he didn't feel much of anything. Emotions were on the outside, out of his reach, and they didn't hurt him like they used to.

He didn't like that Gaara had noticed this and that. What he had said made Naruto look like an unaware boat sailing amiss on the sea. He was not lost, even though his head was a swarming beehive more often than not. There was a reason why he wanted Gaara to accompany him to grocery store.

Gaara brought structure with his lists and perfect memory. It never ceased to amaze Naruto how well Gaara could recall where everything was. There seemed to be a map of some kind in his head, something Naruto didn't have. Every time he tried to memorize what he needed to get, but it just seemed someone kept on wiping clean the whiteboard of his mind.

Sometimes he became frustrated when they were in the mall and he tried to locate a shop he didn't visit regularly. Easily he could admit that his head felt like a cloud of fog more often than not, but it still annoyed him that he had no sense of direction whatsoever. Secretly he was worried if it was visible to anyone else.

His frustration was likely to channel into him saying: "They've changed the order again" or "Why do they have to make this such a maze."

Of course, Gaara met his confusion always with calm resolution, telling him time after time that nothing had actually been changed since the last time.

His fog head and nonexistent sense of direction combined made Naruto wary of new places. A few times now he had been lost searching for an exit, a thing he was sure to keep as a well-protected secret. It was not because of him not paying attention to his surroundings. He just couldn't recall the little details that were essential in finding what he was looking for.

If he was completely honest with himself, he sometimes felt like that while driving, too. On his bad days, he would be screwed if his usual route was somehow blocked and he would have to find another one―quickly. It put such a strain on his brain that he had started to fear driving. But this of course was another one of his carefully kept secrets.

He would never forget the first time he saw Temari.

As much as he had understood from between the lines, he had imagined her to be this strong-willed, stone-hard woman who bended under no one's command. The way Kankuro always corrected his posture when talking on the phone with her, gave Naruto a feeling she was someone not to be toyed with. And the way how Gaara's eyes widened in surprise, soon to be followed by a light blush on his cheeks when Temari said something to him over the phone, told Naruto she had to be a caring sister despite everything that had previously happened.

That fragile-looking ghost limping slowly towards them with two crutches could not be her. That was not what he had imagined Gaara and Kankuro's sister to be like.

Behind her, a lazy looking man stood silent, evaluating the house with his attentive stare. But when he lit another cigarette his eyes quickly visited the brothers―and Naruto―standing on the yard.

Temari stopped in front of her brothers with a hard slam of her crutches' tips against the ground. The brothers instantly straightened up, and Naruto felt the urge to snicker until her eyes turned to him. Instantly, he collected himself and corrected his posture.

"This house looks like shit," was her apt notion. "Has anyone shown any interest in buying this?"

"N-No," Kankuro said apologetically like it was his personal fault.

Temari's studying gaze went through the yard, through the thick, exuberant garden. "The garden is magnificent. It could raise the value of this place. Good job, Gaara."

There was no mistaking the grateful, faint blush that instantly lit up on Gaara's face. If such an expression was even possible for him, it looked like he was beaming.

Even with her posture slumped, with her movements slow and measured, she looked impressive in her priest attire. The attentive man behind her stayed silent the whole time, and the only indication he was even there was the sickly scent of smoke.

"I am interested in buying this house."

Everyone turned to look at the source of the voice. Baki stood on the border of their yards, crossing the line despite no one inviting him, and stopped only when he had reached the five of them. Gaara leaned closer to Kankuro, and Naruto took his hand.

But Temari limped between the man and his brothers so quickly it looked threatening. The tips of her crutches slammed against the ground, almost hitting the tips of their neighbor's shoes, and while it didn't look intentional, it didn't look like an accident, either.

Baki took a few steps back. His hesitation soon merged into determination and Temari's grip on her crutches tightened.

"My daughter and her husband are having a baby. They're looking for a house nearby, and I just happened to hear you're selling yours. I'm sure they'd love to buy this, and I could throw in some extra money just because… Well, let's say I only want the best for you," Baki said but only looked at Gaara, "And it feels like this is the only way you'll let me do it."

Before Kankuro could open his mouth and deliver his exact thoughts―Naruto already noticed the brunet's fist clenching, and he had no doubts he would refuse the offered deal in a blink―Temari held out her hand and silenced her brother.

"How much extra?" she asked.

"Well, I was thinking of something along the lines of 5,000$," Baki clarified.

"40,000$," Temari said coolly.

"Forty? Are you out of your mind?" Baki chocked on his spit and stared at her in poignant disbelief.

"Consider what the amount would be if we sued you."

That seemed to shut him up. Never before had Naruto seen such uneasy hesitation on their neighbor's face. The two of them continued their negotiations of proper compensation, and Naruto was secretly amazed how skillfully she grilled Baki, like she had his fingers on a bench vice.

In the end of the day, they managed to get a fair deal out of their neighbor, who returned to his side of the yard with his head hung in defeat.

Later in the evening, right before their guests would head back home, Naruto overheard Temari and Kankuro talking in the kitchen.

"Hey… Sorry I couldn't help you back then, when you asked me to take care of Gaara," Temari's voice said.

"Yeah, well, it's in the past now. Things turned out pretty well, after all," the brunet replied with resentment.

"I didn't mean to be rude back then. I just… I was in no condition to take care of anyone, as you can imagine," she said, and when Naruto heard the sound of her crutches softly clanking against the floor soon after, she had to be drawing attention to them.

"What did the doctors say?" Kankuro's voice asked and now his resentment was replaced with worry.

"They said they need to take more tests. They're not sure of the cause, it could be genetic, or a virus of some kind. If it turns out to be genetic, I'll let you know. I'd hate if this happened to either of you," Temari's voice explained, and her tone was full of care and concern.

A week later Naruto was feeling a lot more like himself. The fog had cleared from his mind, and the distance between his inner world and the world everyone else experienced, had diminished.

With cautious hope he could say he felt like a normal person, again. And each time this feeling of normalcy hit him, he felt like it would last forever. For a numerous times now, he had been 'healed'.

"Have you thought of seeing someone for help?" Gaara asked out of the blue, when they were lounging on his bed on one sunny afternoon.

"Why would I need help?" Naruto asked back.

But Gaara wasn't fooled by his casual tone. "You've been more anxious lately."

"I haven't," Naruto argued. His muscles tensed and suddenly there was no position he felt comfortable in.

Gaara only gave him a knowing look in return. Naruto pouted until he found the drawstrings of Gaara's hoodie and started to fiddle them. The redhead calmly let it go on for a while, until he pulled Naruto into a hug which felt a little too sad to be thoroughly comforting.

"Have you thought of attending to therapy?"

Naruto shook his head as a 'no'. Annoyance raised its head somewhere inside of him.

"Therapy requires me to trust that person, and I'm not sure I can do that. I'm not good at trusting others, or letting someone into my thoughts. The best I can do is to try to see past my blind spots and study my ideas by myself. I have the tools. They just don't work every time."

Gaara looked at him somewhat worriedly. "Isn't there a pill that could help you?"

Naruto scoffed and his face darkened, "Yeah. But in long-term, there's not much difference in my opinion. The problem is so deep within the way I am, that nothing can take it away. Besides, medication waters my colors down. And I don't want it. I don't want to be insipid, Gaara."

"But wouldn't you feel better if your 'colors' weren't so overwhelming?" Gaara asked.

To that, Naruto refused to answer and only crossed his arms.

"They won't schedule me any appointments unless I was suicidal. They just don't have enough resources for anything less severe," Naruto said.

"I wonder if that's true," Gaara only replied.

"Well I'm not reaching out for them just to hear the word 'no'. I've gotten this far by myself, so what's the harm in going on like this for a little while longer," the blond reasoned. "Besides, the stigma is even worse than the possible rejection. It takes years to get that stain out of you."

"I don't doubt that," Gaara agreed, "But if you ever decide to seek for help, I'll be there with every step."

Things had taken a turn for the better. Not only was the generous amount of money from Baki expanding their housing options, but Sakura had promised to help them with renovating the place they would eventually end up in. New houses were strictly out of their reach, but with the extra money, they were able to look for places with more space.

And it just happened that Sakura started to attend in the property displays with them. Her father owned a business in the branch of construction, and as she always remembered to tell, she wasn't helpless with fixing things, either.

"This wouldn't be a bad place," Kankuro noted, glancing around the empty house they were visiting that day. "This could actually be really good."

Sure, the wallpaper was in shreds for the most parts, the roof needed maybe a little more than just a coat of paint, and the kitchen―well, it was safe to say it had seen its best days long time ago.

"This could be our room," Sakura pointed at the bedroom near the kitchen, and Naruto just stopped right then and there to wonder if he had heard it right.

Kankuro was standing on the doorway with her, his hand subtly resting on the small of her back, not really looking at the room she was talking about, but looking at her with the kindest, most caring look on his face. They walked to the next room, it was a smaller bedroom, and it looked like they were in a world of their own―one Naruto was not a part of―and they were seeing a future that wasn't visible to anyone else.

By the time Kankuro leaned down to kiss her, Naruto had already left.

He found Gaara on the porch. As he should've known, the redhead wasn't very interested in the house itself, but the yard.

"The soil is different here. It's much richer. Look at those bushes over there," Gaara pointed his finger at a nearby collection of leafless vegetation, "Those would've never survived at home. They can't thrive in a soil that has too much clay in it."

Naruto sat next to him, not taking part in the conversation, but listening closely what his boyfriend had to say. The excitement―however well hidden―was audible in Gaara's voice and in that moment Naruto realized that if only he had Gaara by his side, he wouldn't care where they lived, or who lived with them.

It looked like everyone was pretty excited about the promising single-storey house. It had a large living room, a worn-out kitchen, a bathroom that desperately needed re-tiling, and three bedrooms. Two of the bedrooms were on the other side of the house, and the one which was very large for two people to comfortably live in, was on the opposite side. That large bedroom also had its own bathroom.

On their way home, Sakura held the wheel relaxedly and glanced at Naruto via the rear mirror.

"Hey Naruto, what would you say if I lived in the same house with you three?"

They all launched into a conversation of how such an arrangement would work out. Cautiously Naruto asked if the happy couple would want him and Gaara living in their corners. The feeling of being a burden was all too familiar to him, and he was not keen on re-living it.

"We would love to live with you two," Kankuro said from the passenger's seat. He was looking at Naruto so directly that the blond had no choice but to believe him this time.

"And you know… Maybe in the future, if we're going to have a kid," Kankuro started, glancing unsurely at his love interest, "We would really appreciate it if you'd be a part of our family. We could really need a helping hand, and I think it's good if children get used to different kinds of people straight from the beginning."

Naruto tensed in his seat, not sure what to feel. Gaara looked relaxed and uncaring. It could very well be he was still thinking about the rich soil, and Naruto shook his head in amusement.

"I've thought that if there's ever going to be any addition to our family, you know," Kankuro began unsurely again, "Then I'm going to take paternity leave from work so that Sakura can better concentrate on her work."

"You don't know anything about kids, Kankuro. No wonder you're begging us to be there for you," Gaara's voice came flatly, surprising them all.

Ashamed blush exploded on the brunet's face. "Hey, I know a lot more about kids than you do. As your older brother, I'm very accustomed to taking care of the younger."

"You are two years older than me," Gaara pointed out coolly.

"Yeah? But just so that you know, I've changed your diapers so many times I can't even remember," Kankuro rivaled.

"You didn't. Temari did, and you were there in your playsuit, chewing on your toys. Mom told me," Gaara said right back at him.

"Tch. That's not how it was," the older brother snapped, his face red.

"You're wrong."

"No, you're wrong," Kankuro retorted and the rest of the drive went by quickly while the brothers bickered.

Sakura exchanged a look with Naruto through the rear mirror, and the blond had to bite his cheek so that he wouldn't burst out laughing.

Autumn had turned into winter and three months had walked by surprisingly fast.

The house Naruto had moved into in last spring was now nothing but a memory to him, to all of them. In the end, that single-storey three-bedroom house had permanently stolen their hearts, as everyone seemed to be able to imagine their futures in a place like that, and now they had lived there for two long months already.

Renovation was a steady, determined process moving from one room to another, and it was all thanks to Sakura's cool-headed, organized way of handling things that they had made this much progress in the first place. Days went by with each of them attending to work, and Gaara, he was studying to be a youth worker with the support of his family and Tenten. On evenings and weekends, Sakura's parents dropped by to help them with everything they could.

Gaara and Naruto were living on the other end of the house, in the large bedroom which had its own bathroom. Kankuro and Sakura were sleeping in the second largest bedroom on the opposite side of the house. And the smaller room right next to theirs had now walls painted with the color of springy green.

By now they were all painfully accustomed to each other's routines, and the large living room and cozy kitchen separating the two worlds from one another felt like a blessing. The renovation in itself, the sawdust that always seemed to be floating everywhere no matter what, the banging of the hammer and the noise of the drill, accompanied with the daily clamor of them shouting at each other over the hassle, was effectively getting on everyone's nerves.

Because it was winter, Gaara had no chance of escaping into gardening. He was locked inside the house, sulking when the noise lasted too long for his liking, and when Naruto tried to cheer him up, he was shot down every time.

Sakura was an apt leader, yet leading the renovation process tended to bring out her less admirable tendencies. She wanted them to work harder, better, faster, and in no time she began finding faults in the way how Gaara had dealt with the wallpaper, or the disarrayed way Naruto had nailed the flooring lists, or the thoughtless way Kankuro had painted himself in the corner one evening.

Kankuro didn't seem to mind about the bossing, but when the kitchen was a permanent mess of chaos and he was unable to fulfill his culinary ambitions, he became frustrated and tight. Everyone else seemed to be completely fine with surviving on canned foods and delivery pizzas, but after a week of such lifestyle, Kankuro became discontent.

Naruto followed this all with calm mood, secretly proud he was above all this. He tried to subtly comfort each and every one his precious people, trying to remind them of the positive sides of the hassle, and how it would be soon over anyway. Needless to say, his attempts often met a wall of rejection. But he never let it bother him too much, and he was starting to think that nothing could get him down.

Until he started losing stuff. Where was his cell phone again? Could somebody please call it, one more time? He had left his shirt in this chair just yesterday, where was it now? Other people kept on losing his things, hiding them from him and while at first he thought it was just an honest accident on their part, soon he began doubting they did it on purpose.

When his phone and keys were lost again one morning and it threateningly looked like he was going to be late for work, he snapped at Kankuro that the coffee was too thin this morning. This, in turn, made Kankuro huff in annoyance and dramatically pour the remaining amount of coffee down the drain. His muttered curse of how impossible it was to do anything properly in this mess they called a kitchen remained not unheard by Naruto.

Soon after that little fight, Gaara walked into the kitchen, shocked to hear that there was no coffee left for him. When it soon turned out that they were suddenly out of coffee grounds altogether―or maybe Kankuro had purposely hidden the packet, Naruto thought―the redhead growled and left the room with a dark cloud above his head.

A moment later Sakura burst into the room, face red with anger and her hair a mess, complaining that Gaara was once again hogging the bathroom to himself. She was in a hurry here, she would have to be out of the door in five minutes and her hair was still wet, and why god why couldn't Gaara use that little bathroom he had in his room?

And with a spirit on irritation living tightly on their skin, they all left for their daily tasks and returned in the evening to fight some more.

It went on like that for another two months, until finally at the end of March, the renovation was complete.

Naruto fondly remember that one relaxed Sunday they had declared an end to the nerve-wrecking nuisance that also went by the name of renovation process. During that shared exertion they had all become painfully familiar with each other's flaws, and at times the tension in the house had been so strong he had feared it would break them apart.

Without any trouble he remembered the numerous bumps on his head which he had endured whenever Sakura had found out about his dummy mistakes. How on earth was it his fault that wallpaper wasn't supposed to be put on horizontally? He had never paid attention to details like that, and now in retrospect, it was their fault for asking him to do it in the first place.

Thinking of Sakura, over the past months his rosy image of her had brutally shattered to pieces. More than well now Naruto knew how bad-tempered she could get, especially in the mornings. He had no idea how Kankuro could put up with someone like her. And the more he saw them cuddling on the couch, or standing by the stove holding hands, the less he remembered to pay attention to Kankuro's handsome looks or how beautiful his voice was.

He didn't feel as awkward around him anymore and today he saw him as a brother, or maybe even as a father-figure, he wasn't sure. First and foremost, Sakura was his friend and his boss, but the more they bickered over details Naruto never noticed but which seemed to hold great importance to Sakura, the more he was reminded of the brotherly arguments Gaara and Kankuro were caught in every once in a while.

But not only to their faults, they were also introduced to each other's strengths during the time they had lived together. Sakura was able to think fast and make quick decisions when needed. Out of the four of them, she got things done most effectively, and while it wasn't always a joy to be under her leadership, they all had to admit she was fair, honest and thorough.

While Gaara was not the most visible―nor loudest―part of their team, his calm approach turned out to be an important factor on many occasions. While the three of them were shouting at each other and competing over whose opinion was the best, it was often Gaara who brought something new and unseen to their decision-making. Like that one time, when he had casually pointed out that they shouldn't be wasting money on expensive tiles in the bathroom, because the piping system would fall under renovation in the next seven years, and by then they would have to tear down the tiles again.

Those orange, pink and purple tiles they had been arguing over were expensive, indeed. And it just happened that a set of jade green tiles was on discount around that time. They were all anxious to save money, and so Gaara's suggestion had been accepted without further thought.

Naruto liked to view himself as the inspiring part of their family. While he admitted being stubborn and set in his ways, he was also encouraging and tried to help everyone even when his help was not needed, but an actual hindrance.

In their family of four, Kankuro was like a tall tree that protectively draped its branches over them all. With his enthusiasm to cook, he prepared dishes one more delicious after another. As well as he could, he tried to take everyone's preferences into account when planning meals. In his modest way, the brunet truly loved them all.

But tonight, Naruto was too distracted to think about those delicious treats that were sure to get him drooling.

Tonight, he had eyes for one thing only.

Sakura and Kankuro were dining with her parents before going to the movies. They wouldn't be home until very late.

Naruto hissed in anticipation, and it was not because he was naked, his hands tied behind his back, or because Gaara was looming over him with the sexiest look on his face.

No, it was because this time, Gaara was sensually rolling a condom over Naruto's cock.

The blond was lying on his back, erection stone-hard just by the idea of Gaara riding him. When the redhead finally straddled over him and guided Naruto's lubed cock to his stretched entrance, the blond hissed in wild want. Slowly, Gaara lowered himself down, taking Naruto in little by little.

Never on earth would he have thought that one day, this restrained redhead wanted to re-consider their accustomed roles. But it seemed like the months spent far away from the scenery that was painfully tied to his past, had opened him up faster than Naruto could've ever believed.

He kept his eyes on Gaara's face, at the deepening blush taking over his pale cheeks, drowning in the ragged breaths that escaped his sweet, sweet lips. Naruto twitched against his confines and watched as his cock slid deeper and deeper into that tormenting tightness that was Gaara's ass. The butt plug Gaara had used lay now somewhere on the floor, forgotten.

"F-Fuck, Naruto," the redhead growled and his hesitant movements stopped. His fingers searched for a place to comfortably lean against, until they settled on Naruto's chest and thigh. He started to move again, this time altering his pace in search of a perfect angle, and when he found it, he cried out in pleasure.

"G-Gaara," the blond breathed and his wrists automatically fought against his restrains, but he couldn't do anything but let the divine redhead ride him the way he pleased. He pushed his hips upwards, satisfied with the way Gaara's face scrunched up in pleasure when their rhythm found a perfect harmony.

Gaara's hard cock was swaying along his movements, untouched, and Naruto wanted to pump it, to suck it, to make him feel good―so good―but he couldn't. Instead he just opened his heart to the arousing sight of Gaara's half-lidded eyes gazing down at him, dreamy and hazy and full of lust.

Naruto was afraid he would come too soon and finish first, but it turned out his worries were premature. Gaara was pounding himself along Naruto's length, each time skillfully aiming for that sweet spot, until it was too much for the redhead and he came, screaming with pleasure, squeezing Naruto's skin in desperate need.

And Naruto lay there, restrained, his chest now covered in the evidence of Gaara's love, and watched as the redhead pulled the hard cock out of his ass. Before Naruto could say anything, Gaara rolled off the condom and wiped his hands on a sanitary wipe, before gripping Naruto's erection again.

With some added lube, pale fingers rubbed around the tip, teasing the underside of it, pulling the foreskin back and forth and then gently caressing the underside again. And under that kind of attention Naruto moaned with hoarse voice, his wrists secured behind his back, trying to get free but never succeeding, and when the image of Gaara completely losing himself on top of him returned to his mind, he came hard with an incoherent cry.

Later on they had cleaned up the mess and the butt plug was hidden somewhere no one would accidentally find it. Naruto leaned against Gaara's chest, tracing along the texture of his flannel shirt and the little plastic buttons.

He could see it now, their life together, today and forever. They would be in this house, or in any other place, but what would be most important, they would be together. And no matter the instability that plagued them both, they would find a way to go through it all.

A row of cacti one more peculiar after another sat on the windowsill, basking in the pale daylight of mid-April's sun.

Fluffy Mammillaria bocasana enjoyed its life in the middle of its friends. A little crown of yellow buds pushed through its head, and the springy beams welcomed the imminent blossom with their tender caress. Day by day the air was getting warmer, the sun hotter, and the high banks of snow in their backyard were resiliently sweating into the soil.

"Hey Gaara," Naruto said and pointed his finger at a large cactus sitting on the desk, apart from the others, "You used to be like that."

Gaara's gaze stopped on the appointed plant. It was so wide it had no place on the sill, but had to settle for a wider—yet lonelier—space elsewhere.

"That's Echinocactus grusonii, or a golden barrel cactus to its friends," the redhead informed.

Naruto remembered the names for two seconds until his attention was back on the grouchy plant.

"Yeah. You had these million sharp spines that were directed at everywhere, and you were sulking in your pot all alone and forgotten. But today, you're more like that fluffy fellow," he told and gently pressed his finger against the powder puff cactus' gentle hooks, "You're blooming."

Gaara resumed reading his book like he was uninterested. But Naruto knew better.

"Didn't you have something to do?" the redhead asked.

With a smile Naruto sat down on the bed next to his boyfriend. "Well, they said they don't need my help with baking the pie," he sighed disappointedly and glared at the general direction of the kitchen. "Can you believe it, Gaara, it has only been a few months and I'm already banned from the kitchen."

A small smile appeared on the redhead's face but it was gone as quickly as it came. Naruto pouted and crossed his arms. Sure, the chicken he had helped with had ended up partially raw, partially overcooked which was "an astonishing achievement on its own"—a straight quote from Kankuro. And his miracles didn't end there. Watery lasagna and sugary meat soup were also fruits of his helping hands, and he had no idea why Kankuro acted so sour because of it.

Gaara closed his book and seized Naruto's hand. "What are we going to do with your sharp spines? Last night you were trembling under the blanket again like there was a murdered in the room."

"I was just cold," the blond cleared out the unnecessary notion. But Gaara didn't buy it.

"Then why did you ask me to come to the bathroom with you?"

In daylight, such questions seemed absurd, and Naruto didn't like the studying look he was receiving. "Alright. Maybe I did. I'm sorry! I didn't feel like going alone, okay?"

But his frustration was met with calmness, as Gaara only sighed and squeezed his hand, not letting go.

"You can't go on like this, can you?"

"Who are you to say that?" Naruto argued, pulling his hand away. He quickly rubbed his face, but the sensation of Kyuubi's dark-rimmed eyes hovering on his skin didn't vanish. He knew his eyes looked normal, in real world. Yet still he could feel the thin, black lines outlining his lids.

He wanted to say to Gaara that they were like twins now, with similar kind of eyes, and that this little association made him feel a tiny bit better about himself, about everything, but he knew Gaara would not see it. No, his friend would never really see what he meant, how something like this made him feel safer yet more anxious at the same time. The fact that there were things too bizarre to ever share with anyone made his heart ache. To anybody else, he was surely a textbook example of crazy, but to him these colorful sensations were as natural as any other thing.

But what made him sad was that there was always a world he existed alone in, a world he could never share with anyone.

He would never have a friend in there, no one to see what he saw, no one to share the rush of fear that kept him awake at night.

The sun hid behind grey cotton of clouds and the row of cacti looked lost and lonely.

Last night, he had tried to imagine himself a set of mighty claws and an armor equivalent of a hedgehog's yet strangely it had not helped. And it never ceased to surprise him how Gaara could sleep so peacefully in the midst of their snake-hisses and excited breaths, how he could ignore the creaking floorboards and the hand that landed on top of the blanket whenever Naruto was about to sink into tiredness.

"I only want to help," Gaara told and wrapped his arms around him. Every hesitant move of Gaara's muscles told about hopelessness, about despair, and in that moment Naruto realized they might be sharing this desolation on a level he had not expected.

He felt guilty for being like this, for standing on the border of two worlds and making his loved one worry. No matter how many times Gaara kept on telling him he was needed and loved, Naruto couldn't escape the doubt that all of their lives would be an ounce easier if he weren't around.

But just as the image of his worlds ending appeared in his mind, Gaara embraced him more tightly and anchored him in the moment until nothing else fit into his head but the steady beat of Gaara's heart. It resonated against Naruto's skin, seeping through the tissues of muscle to travel in his veins and to his heart, until the two of them were nothing but just two hearts beating in the same rhythm.

And Naruto wanted to tell about Kyuubi, about the orange glow he sometimes felt, about the glistening skin of Kankuro wrapping around him like a foil, or the weight of breasts on his chest and the width of his hips that was there, even though it wasn't. He wanted to tell how cold the colors appeared, whenever Kyuubi stared at the world through his eyes, and how the colors shifted back to normal when he was gone.

And he wanted to tell how he sometimes was frozen and stagnant like bedrock, until eventually he would liquefy and travel the rivers with high speed in his molten form. He would outrace everyone and everything, and his extreme velocity would polish away the last of his stiff exterior that so often kept him captive.

There was so much to tell, so much that made sense only to him but to no one else.

But maybe if he tried, he could put it into words that made sense?

"I'm not as stable as I let on. I may lose my ability to work one day. It could be that I refuse to seek help, and instead take my fate into my own hands. I'm paranoid to a varying degree, and from experience I know it can get really bad. I won't exclude the option of taking my own life, but so far it has never been considered.

"I'm not alone and it scares me. They're here, inside my head or on the surface of my skin, and I don't know how many more there will be. Some of them have names. I will act irrationally to any outsider's eye but if you have the patience to learn my patterns, you'll see that everything happens for a reason.

"I wasn't always like this, this bad, but as years started to pile on my shoulders I changed. I can't promise how I'll end up, but if I have you by my side, I have tremendously much hope that I will make it through this life."

Gaara replied by caressing his hair, keeping him close instead of pushing him away like Naruto had feared. His breath was on his scalp, his lips kissing the yellow spikes of his hair, and his heart thumped fast against him. Gaara kissed his forehead, his cheek and then his lips, but the desperation Gaara had felt earlier was now replaced with solid confidence.

"One thing I can promise," Gaara said quietly. "I'll always be there for you, in a form or another. I don't know which path my life will go to, but I'll keep holding your hand where ever we end up in."

Naruto's heart happily sang a melody only they knew, melody of their own, and Gaara's heart kept on drumming faithfully against his skin. In this world they shared, all was well for now, and the little rustles and breaths carrying from behind his back, from the other world, were tightly blocked by Gaara's protective hold on him.

Whichever world he was in, he was not alone. Gaara was there in both of them, with flesh and bone or with a form of voice. And it was the most beautiful, wonderful thing that had happened in his mediocre life.

And from that alone, he would live and push through the hardships.

And the loving hum of Gaara's heart told him that maybe he, too, had the same kind effect on him.

THE END

A/N: Thank you for reading! Please believe that this is the happiest ending I could come up with!

If you're feeling like Naruto (or Gaara) in this story, please seek for help. You (and your life) are just as valuable as anybody else's. You matter. There's a chance things will turn out better, and you can take the first step on the path that leads you out of where you are now. There's always hope, even if you wouldn't see it at the very moment.

It has been fun yet mentally draining to write this. I'm sure you could tell that many times I was confused where this story was supposed to go to. It was like a walk in the dark sometimes. Like in life, there is no direction, just an experience after another. But even so I think I managed to weave a plot of some kind into this.

Sometimes I think the story moved forward a bit too rapidly, for example when Naruto and Gaara were on the beach in chapter 6 and they had their first romantic moment… I mean, their feelings just suddenly developed and now in retrospect I wonder how smooth that was. Also, Kiba and Sasuke were such dicks, I'm sorry.

About the theme: In ICD-10 criteria, schizotypal personality disorder (F21) has some overlapping symptoms with an actual schizophrenia (F20). To be honest I'm not a doctor and whether or not Naruto is more schizophrenic than "just" schizotypal, is up to your imagination. In some cases schizotypal personality disorder can develop into actual schizophrenia.

Why didn't I put Naruto in therapy or in medication? Because in case of schizotypals (as far as I know, please correct me if I'm mistaken), medication doesn't necessarily be the best help in a long term. Medication helps with psychotic symptoms, but those psychotic symptoms might not be there all the time. There's a cycle and it is eternal. Therapy gives you tools to deal with your thought patterns etc. but it's hard to form a close relationship with your shrink. Shrink is a person, and people are very scary. It's hard to trust. But with the loving support from his family, I'm sure Naruto will make it.