Hello, everyone! So, I'm kind of testing the waters with this story idea. What do you think?

CHAPTER ONE

My name is Huey, and I live in a trailer in the middle of the woods. Ratmeat and Crazyhair own it. Those aren't their real names, but that's what they call each other. I have to call them 'Sir' and 'Ma'am', but I never think of those as their names. They've always been Ratmeat and Crazyhair to me.

"Huey!" Ratmeat shouted at me as I was taking out the trash, "Mow the yard while you're out there! The wife complained again."

"That ain't my fault, Ratmeat!" Crazyhair shouted from inside the trailer, "The old hag down the street said the yard looked like it was mowed by a kid. It's that darn brat's fault, Ratmeat!"

"Hear that, Huey? Do a better job next time!" Ratmeat shouted, slamming the front door.

"Yes Sir," I said. I have to say it every time, because they could always be listening, and it means big trouble if I leave out the "sir".

I dragged the heavy garbage bag down the dirt driveway that leads from the trailer to the road. As usual, it was full of empty pizza boxes, microwave dinners and soda bottles. Crazyhair never cooked if she could help it. I had gotten sick of eating that stuff long ago, but it wasn't like we had anything else.

At the bottom of the road was the trash can. Ratmeat said that it was better to just leave it there for the garbage men instead of bringing it back and forth from the garage. I wish he was the one carrying this gross, leaky garbage bag all the way down to the trash can two days a week. It gets worse when the animals messed with the can, since it smells like garbage. Once when I stood it up after something knocked it over the night before, I thought I saw bear tracks in the ground next to it.

Anyway, I just managed to fit the garbage bag into the trash can when a car turned down the street. And not just any car, but the strangest car I had ever seen in my life. It was a passenger car, not a truck, so that was rare. Plus, it wasn't all dirty like most of the cars around here. It was the first purple car I had ever seen and it was long, shaped differently from other cars. I think it was a limo. I had never seen a limo before, not in real life anyway.

What on earth was a car like that doing on our street? Didn't they know it was a dead end up ahead?

The limo stopped next to the trash can, and an old duck with a cane stepped out of it. He had obviously seen me from inside the car, because he was staring right at me as he got out. His face was kind of screwed up as he looked at me, almost in a frown. I didn't know what he was thinking, but as he walked around the car towards me I decided to speak first.

"I don't know where you're going, but it's the wrong way." I warned him, "We're the last driveway on this road, Sir."

I thought it was better to call him Sir, since he looked important.

"I'm right where I want to be, Huey m'lad." The duck said, still looking at me funny.

"H-how do you know my name?" I asked.

"I'll explain later. Right now, are those rascals Ratmeat and Crazy-wig around anywhere?"

"They're up in the trailer," I said, "You'd better come back later, though. It's still early, so they might be cranky."

"Still early? But it's one in the afternoon!" The old duck said, looking very shocked, "Nevermind, lad. I've got something important to tell them, and they're going to listen to it!"

He started stomping up the driveway.

"No, wait!" I said, running after him, "You don't understand! Ratmeat can be really, really cranky when he's cranky!"

"So can I!" The duck said without looking back, walking faster than before.

He walked right up to the trailer door and started pounding on it.

"Ratmeat! I demand to speak to you, this instant!"

I was actually surprised when Ratmeat opened the door. "Yeah? What do ya want? Make it fast, Buster, and you better be no insurance salesman!"

"When I get through with you, you'll wish I was!"

Crazyhair walked up behind Ratmeat and looked past his elbow to see out the door.

"Who are you?" She asked the strange duck.

"The man who just bought the land your house is on. I'm here to turn you out, and over to the police."

"The police?" Crazyhair gasped.

"You can't do that!" Ratmeat said, "We didn't do nothing to get thrown out and stuff!"

"Nothing?" The duck asked, "This isnae your land, you squatters! You've never paid any rent before, you've evaded your taxes, and right now this place is surrounded by police who are going to arrest you for kidnapping!"

Kidnapping?! I had lived with these people all my life. I know they are nuts, but would they really stoop to kidnapping someone?

"We didn't kidnap him, we found him!" Crazyhair said.

"Yeah, if you want him, you can have him!" Ratmeat shouted, pointing at me.

Wait.

Me? They were talking about me?!

I know I should have been more shocked, but all I could feel was relief. I wasn't related to them after all!

"Huey, go wait in the car." The stranger said, "I'm going ta take you back to yer real home."

I looked first at the stranger, and then at Ratmeat. I had known Ratmeat all my life, and as for the stranger, I didn't even know his name. But I suddenly realized that this stranger was already treating me better than all the nicest days Ratmeat and Crazyhair had combined.

So, there was no reason for me not to get inside the car. I turned around and ran towards the vehicle, leaving the rotten trailer behind. The car's driver was standing there next to an open back door, and once I got inside he closed it behind me.

It was a very nice car, almost too nice. It was weird how clean it was, and I was a little worried that my shoes were messing up the carpet.

I looked out the window, but couldn't hear anything. I know that Ratmeat and the stranger yelled at each other a little more, but I kind of got bored of watching them. Thankfully, Ratmeat must have been too scared for some reason to think of punching the nice stranger, and all they did was argue.

I looked away to examine the car's interior more closely. Were all cars this clean? When I looked up again, it was because I heard sirens. Several police cars pulled up on the little-used country road next and up the driveway, but what really surprised me was that there were already police standing by the trailer. I didn't even see how they got there, but two of them were handcuffing Ratmeat!

I watched, and I think my mouth was open, as the policeman walked Ratmeat over to one of the police cars and put him in the backseat. They put Crazyhair in a different police car, and both cars took off. After a while, the stranger duck stopped talking to the police who were still at the house and walked towards me. He opened the back door by himself and sat down right next to me.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Huey." He said, closing the door behind him. "Wait a minute. We forgot ta pack yer things. If you don't want ta go back inside, I can-"

"That's okay, I don't have anything." I interrupted.

"Are ye sure? Ya don't have any toys or clothes that ye'll miss later?"

"No sir. I'm wearing everything." I said, then because the stranger made a strange face that I didn't understand, I quickly changed the topic. "Who are you? How did you know-I mean, was I really kidnapped? What happened?"

"It's a long story," the duck said, "But we have time. Duckburg, and step on it." I only realized he said that last part to the driver when the car started moving.

"Ack, lad, put on yer seat belt!" The duck said, reaching over and buckling me in, "Now. We'll start with introductions. My name is Scrooge McDuck, and I'm your great-uncle."