Summary:

A terrific tale of the daunting wedding nights of three unlikely couples who have been brought together by a botched Ministry of Magic Marriage Law. Pairings: Sirius Black X Luna Lovegood. Remus Lupin X Hermione Granger. Severus Snape X Ginny Weasley. Warning: Smut! DO NOT READ IF THE AGE GAP DISTURBS YOU.

Further:

To escape bethrovement to Ministry picked men (read: Death Eaters), Hermione, Luna and Ginny marry to Order of the Phoenix members who are outside of the brackets of the Ministry's badly thought out law which only binds witches and wizards between the ages of 16 and 36 into predetermined pairings. It's a fateful thing that Remus, Sirius and Severus are all thirty-seven.

HP

A few weeks before the weddings the three tall men and their young fiancées are moved into a handsome old manor that lays on a small acreage just outside of Hogsmeade. Ginny remarks that it's 'simply lovely' as the unlikely party of six enter through the ivy woven gate and up the gravel pathway. Remus agrees, labeling the place 'charming'.

It's two storeys tall with creme dormer windows popping from the slated roof and rectangular chimneys reaching high into the sky to escape the ivy that's consumed most of the manor's sides. It's a place of old brick and the large windows that decorate the front of the building are many paned with clean creme frames.

Not even Snape, decidedly the most pessimistic of the group, can seem to find complaint with the accommodations Dumbledore has set up.

The insides are similarly charming; big rooms with creme walls and dark timber floors. Heavy curtains, plush furnishings and brass accents give warmth. The second level where the bedrooms reside; each with their own ensuite; is carpeted in a dark green shade which gives the illusion of a mossy forest floor underfoot.

Dumbledore has already allocated the couples rooms; their duffle bags and suitcases awaiting for them. Snape fails to repress a snort when he sees the decor; he and Ginny have a room furnished with gold and green, an obvious merge of their Hogwarts house colours. Remus and Hermione, both Gryffindors, have a tastefully red and gold room, and Sirius and Luna are paired with blue and gold.

Dumbledore has clearly gone to extensive efforts to make the house a home for them; the pantry is stocked and on the bench is a high pile of tins filled with home baked treats from Mrs Weasley. The large space which would've in the past been a drawing room has been turned into an elaborate library, six handsome oak desks hidden in its shelves. There's even an old record player that's emitting soft muggle jazz in the corner of the living area.

A few hours later everyone's settled in; Hermione's curled up in the bay window cushions reading a book on Wizarding Marriage Charms and Protections from the new library; Luna sits in between Ginny's legs while her blonde hair is woven into braids; Remus dips a Honeydukes chocolate bar into a cup of herbal tea (which Severus deems a disgusting match) while writing letters on the kitchen island; Severus is in the attic, which he'd claimed as his potions laboratory, and is whispering a constant stream of spells as he prepares the room. Finally, there was Sirius in he and Luna's bedroom, covering the wall behind the bedhead with a thick stack of photographs that belonged to both he and Luna. In a surprisingly thoughtful move he'd asked her if she had any pictures she was fond of, because he wanted to decorate the room a little. She'd obliged happily and now the wall was nearly done, a truly magical collage; Sirius's pictures mainly composed of snaps from Hogwarts; He and James posing together in their Quidditch robes, brooms in hand; Remus, James and himself sitting under the beech tree after taking a dip in the lake; one of Sirius and Lily, just out of Hogwarts and sitting atop his motorbike, her face a mask of horror as it took off into the air. Luna's photos were equally heartwarming; herself, Ginny, Hermione, Neville and Ron all squeezed in next to each other on a bench in the stands as they cheered Harry on during a Quidditch game; there were a few funny action shots from the Dumbledore's Army days; another of her and her mother when she was just a little girl, and then one of her and her father in their bright yellow costumes at Bill and Fleur's wedding.

Molly had left in the oven a black pepper crusted beef shoulder that'd been roasting all day, and so for dinner they had steamed greens and sliced beef, fresh olive sourdough and butter. For dessert a peach crumble with vanilla-bean ice cream is devoured.

They talked hesitantly over the dinner table; testing out new dynamics. Ginny and Sirius had a debate over the Quidditch league while Remus listened with polite interest to Luna who was explaining to him the convincing concept of a nargle. Hermione had bravely asked Severus a question on the preparations he was making for his new potions lab. There had been a long silence; no one was sure if he'd insult her rudely and tell her it was none of her concern, but his reply been cordial and informative and they spent the better part of dinner discussing every potions qualm that Hermione had ever thought up in her keen mind.

Severus was coping better than anyone expected considering he was in a house full of Harry Potter's best friends and his long-standing rivals; particularly Sirius who he felt (at best) animosity towards. Not to mention his betrothment to Ginny Weasley, who he now called Ginevra which infuriated her and entertained the others. Perhaps in retort to the Ginevra name-calling, Ginny had taken to baiting Severus, calling him her cuddle muffin or her pretty pumpkin, making blatant innuendos in reference to them and witty jabs at his expense. Every time he would stare at her cooly in response, one eyebrow raised. It seemed as though, safe in the knowledge that he couldn't put her in detention or take house points, Ginny had decided that antagonistic interaction with her fiance was better than none at all.

Sirius was a delight to be around. A free man since his retrial at the Ministry, the frustration and helplessness of being bound in his loathed childhood home that made him irritable and reckless quickly fell away. He was handsome, happy and energetic; the human personification of a big puppy. He taunted Severus with Ginny, poked fun at Hermione and Remus' obsessive reading habits and always accompanied his darling Luna into the gardens as Padfoot when she wanted to explore the forests around them. Over the next few week's he'd force everyone into playing board games with him and provided a running commentary of the hustle and bustle of the house.

Remus was the glue; polite to Severus and a good friend to Sirius. He was patient and insightful and single handedly forced from the two dark-haired men into a mutual relationship of respect, even if it showed itself as civil indifference. Remus was also the perfect gentleman to Hermione, who felt she'd definitely gotten the best draw of the lot in terms of finances.

The weeks passed slowly. The men flitted in and out to carry out Order of the Phoenix missions and the girls spent their days together in the kitchen baking cookies and cheesecakes, in the grounds exploring and flying low under the large oak trees, or in the living room with music playing as they talked openly. The most common topic by a mile was sex and boys (or men, should we say).

The weddings loomed. The small ceremonies were set to take place on consecutive nights in a few days time. The three girls had not forgotten this.

'Did you know that with wizarding marriages there are enchantments that are placed on you at the ceremony so that you become intimately bonded with your partner? Mentally, emotionally and physically?'

Ginny laughed. 'Are you scared you're going to jump Professor Lupin's bones the minute the enchantments are cast?'

'Well, I'm just curious to see what the effects are like,' Hermione defended. 'And stop calling him Professor Lupin! It makes me feel weird!' Ginny snorted at Hermione, who continued talking. 'Aren't you nervous at all, for the wedding night? I wonder if the enchantments will make it easier to sleep with them?' She pondered, looking nervous.

Luna did not have the same concerns; 'I'm looking forward to it,' she declared with a little smile. Hermione reeled around in shock to stare at Luna while Ginny began laughing.

'Luna Good Merlin! I can always count on you for a laugh, I can,' said Ginny amusedly.

'Wait - so do you mean to tell me that you're looking forward to it? Sleeping with Sirius?' Hermione demanded. 'Having sex with him?' Hermione sounded as though she couldn't believe her ears. 'Aren't you nervous at all? Don't you feel any trepidation!?'

'Well, I've never had sex before,' said Luna seriously. 'But everyone raves about it, and Sirius is very handsome and kind to me. I think I'm going to have lots of fun.'

'Yeah Hermione,' said Ginny with a grin. 'Lots of fun,' she quoted.

'I think that you're kind of excited to have sex Hermione,' Luna continued. 'But you're nervous because you've never done it before and you don't like being bad at things and you can't learn how to have sex from a book.'

'Trust me, I've tried,' Hermione mumbled. 'Its from one extreme to another; sex books. Either you take the medical route and they explain coitus in two sentences of technical jargon, not a word on foreplay mind you! Or there's tacky romance novels where they flounce around about 'throbbing manhoods' and 'slippery love canals.' Hermione sounded unimpressed. 'All I want is a book that will tell me how to give a blowjob without making a fool of myself, or on being on top and not looking like an uncoordinated dolt!'

'Hermione, are you forgetting that I've had sex before? You can ask me,' Ginny said kindly.

'Oh, yes. Well -'

'There's no need to be embarrassed. Honest.'

Luna built on Ginny's affirmation; 'We're all friends here aren't we? Best friends.' Hermione and Ginny smiled at Luna warmly. 'We can tell each other anything that's troubling us and we won't be laughed at. That's what friends are for.'

Hermione nodded. 'You guys are right. We are best friends, and we can talk about anything. The truth is I'm really nervous that I'm going to make a fool of myself on my wedding night. Remus must have loads of experience and I've got as much sex appeal as a wet blanket.' Ginny made to interrupt but Hermione continued speaking. 'I'm just not confident like you guys are, I suppose.'

'You are really pretty, Hermione,' Luna said seriously and the brunette smiled at her.

'And you're not going to make a fool of yourself on your wedding night with Lupin,' Ginny said. 'I've got six older brothers so if I don't know loads about what makes a good root I'll be damned. Sex is good when there's a spark. You know, a bit of chemistry. It can be physical where you just think they're dead sexy and want to lick them all over.' Hermione made a noise of amusement while Luna nodded seriously; perhaps envisioning Sirius in her mind's eye. 'It can be an emotional spark; you know, when you're in love and stuff. Or it can me mental, where they challenge you and there's lots of flirty banter and bickering that builds sexual tension.

'Two people can hate each other's guts and still have brilliant sex; I overheard the twins talking about how Oliver Wood and Marcus Flint; the Slytherin quidditch captain, were caught fucking last year. See, they hated each other, but there was certainly a spark there,' Ginny said wisely. 'A bit of competition got them both gagging for it.

'What we need to do Hermione is find your spark with Professor Lupin; your va-va-voom! So to speak,' Ginny said smartly with a grin, while Luna laughed and Hermione masked her smile with a dubious expression.

'Let's analyse Luna's spark first. Tell us what you find attractive about Sirius,' Ginny asked of Luna. 'Give us a bit of detail girl,' she encouraged.

The blonde did not need much prompting. 'Well, whenever he comes out of the shower in the mornings he's only got a towel wrapped around his waist and I get a good look at his body. He's quite fit,' said Luna seriously. 'And he's much taller than me and he's got broad shoulders. I suppose I like that he's big like that, it makes me feel small. He could just pick me up and throw me over his shoulder if he wanted.'

Ginny smirked and Hermione gulped, listening intently.

'It's like with animals who are mating. There's a primal part of me that likes that he's big and strong and can dominate me if he wants to. Does that make sense?'

Ginny nodded, grinning, and Hermione nodded too, marveling at how Luna talked so easily about this personal stuff, completely void of self consciousness. She clearly did not care what others made of her thoughts and feelings. It was admirable.

'Give us some details about what you like to look at on your man meat,' Ginny prompted, watching Hermione smartly out of the corner of her eye.

'Sirius has a very handsome face. He's got lovely grey eyes and really thick eyelashes. He's got high cheekbones and a good jawline and I like the stubble he gets in the mornings. I like to watch his adam's apple bob when he swallows. Whenever he's in just a towel I get to look at the bottom of his stomach and the hair that disappears into his towel.'

'His snail trail.' Ginny said wisely. 'Gets you thinking about what his cock is like doesn't it?'

Hermione looked scandalised, but Luna laughed and nodded, smiling wide.

'See,' Ginny said. 'Sexual attraction. It's not that hard. You've just gotta take a good look at the person you're going to be bedding and paint them in a naughty nature in your mind. Now you try Hermione.'

'What about you go first Ginny,' Hermione said, stalling. 'Do you find Severus attractive?' She sounded dubious.

'Unfortunately Snape does not have the good looks of Sirius, but we've got sexual tension of another kind. I know he feels it too.' Ginny said confidently.

'Hogwash,' said Hermione, sounding supremely skeptical.

'Well, you know how I've been teasing and irritating him the last few weeks. He secretly like it I suspect. I don't think Snape's used to people being so confident and informal with him, you know.' Ginny said thoughtfully. 'He doesn't have any friends by the looks of it, and nearly definitely no lovers. I think he expected me to ignore him and loathe the ground he walked on when we got paired up. But I thought it through and made the decision to not strop around at my bad luck and to find something half decent inside of him to latch on to, so if nothing else, we could have good sex together.'

Hermione looked unconvinced. 'So you don't find him particularly attractive, but you've built a new relationship with him ever since the marriage law was presented, where you two challenge each other though verbal sparring?'

Ginny nodded and elaborated. 'Sexual tension, the spark, is frustrated desire. I forced Snape to see me as a grown woman, not just a Weasley and a student. I've made sure he sees me in a sexual light. You know the usual basic seductions: sucking on sugar quills before bed in front of him, walking around in the littlest towel I could find, sleeping in see-through singlets and panties, I even made a show of stretching one morning - made loads of naughty noises,' Ginny snickered, 'before he told me to go and pleasure myself some place where he didn't have to bear witness.'

Hermione look scandalised but intrigued.

'He knows what I'm doing of course. Just like he also knows that I'm not taking the mickey to hurt his feelings, but because I enjoy the battle for dominance. Builds the sexual tension very nicely.'

'I do understand what you're saying,' Hermione conceded, looking impressed. 'I never considered it all that way though. I've always considered myself an expert at emotions and relationships, but sex, sexual tension - all that stuff - you're miles ahead Gin.'

'She's right,' said Luna. 'You're playing a naughty game with Snape. I'm impressed.'

'Now it's your turn,' said Ginny to Hermione. 'Luna wants to sleep with Sirius because she finds him attractive and she looks forward to the way he can physically dominate her with his size, strength and confidence. Reow.

'When me and Snape have sex it will be good because of the battle of wills and the fight for dominance we've got going in our relationship. I presume it will be a rough and dirty affair, which I look forward as well,' Ginny said with a wink.

'Now for you and Lupin.'

'Do you find him attractive?' Luna asked.

'He's tall and fit enough, I guess. And he's got nice eyes. I think the scars on his face are a bit sexy-'

'Hermione here likes a bad boy,' Ginny giggled.

'So he doesn't repulse you?' Luna asked.

'No. I guess not.'

'He kind of entices you?'

'Well…'

Ginny and Luna fixed Hermione with knowing looks.

'Yes, alright, I'm curious to see him naked,' Hermione said in a rush. 'I'm well attracted to him.'

'We have a spark!' Ginny cheered. 'Now, it seems like you knew that all along. So you're scared the sex will be bad, not because you're not into him, but because of your whole confidence complex?'

'Exactly.' Hermione sighed. 'Luna, you're a virgin like me. Why aren't you nervous?'

'Well, it's just sex isn't it? I don't think Sirius is the type of person to laugh at me or make fun if I don't know something.'

'Remus is like that too,' Ginny said. 'He knows full well that he's going to be your first and he'll be doing everything he can to make sure you are relaxed and enjoying yourself. Trust me. Men love a little virgin to corrupt and teach.'

Luna giggled.

'I guess I just want it to be good. Passionate and stuff.'

'Maybe you should just talk to him,' Luna offered finally.

Ginny agreed at once. 'Just tell him that you've never done this before and that you're really nervous. He's a professor, I'm sure he'll come out with some good advice or words of encouragement.'

'I guess it couldn't hurt,' Hermione conceded. 'At least then he won't expecting anything special from me.'

'Stop talking like that girl,' said Ginny, 'you're sounding nearly as pessimistic as my buddy Snape right now.'

'We look forward to you telling us all about it tomorrow, Hermione,' said Luna.

Hermione gulped in nervous anticipation. 'Tomorrow,' she said thickly. 'Ok.'

HP

Authors Note: Hello dear readers! The second chapter to this fic is ready to go! But first, let me know what you think of the character portrayals and the story concept. And remember, reviews and follows are terribly motivating xoxo