CHAPTER TEN

By Aoi Koneko Chan

"Did his flight arrive?"

A bitter scoff was his answer as his brother flung golden bangs from his face and slumped into the opposite armchair.

"Yeah, he sent a text, two words, the mother fucker…'I'm here.' That's all."

The elder ignored the muttered shithead and nodded sagely.

"We can only hope Judge hasn't heard of this yet."

"How could he possible know?" His youngest brother piped in. Another disdainful snort courtesy of their middle brother filled the air. He chose to ignore that and answer the question from the youngest but he did allow himself a reproachful look to the second son.

"That man has many methods and I did warn Law that he was probably a target and that a trip to Japan would warrant some investigation but he insists all will be fine."

"Stupid motherfucker…" Came the mumbled curse from the second armchair where a certain petulant brother was pouting.

The eldest allowed himself a smirk. "Indeed…well, we shall see how things play out for now."

Law would be lying if he said the sight of a familiar blush on the blond chef's face didn't spark a flame of pride in him. Sanji, aside from being the most attractive man on Earth, had an extremely attractive quality of unintentional sexiness and Law loved the feeling of making the usually ignorant man aware of the fact that he was beyond attractive. The chef hardly ever realized the effect he had on others, and in the rare times he did notice, he became self-conscious, worrying that the attention was entirely for shallow reasons. He wasn't wrong for some of his pursuers, but he was also discounting how popular his considerate personality was. It was strikingly attractive how he listened to people and gave them his full attention. It made them feel important and loved and in turn, of course, the attraction to that feeling made people go after him. Perhaps not the most genuine of all reasons, but it was something he had noticed about the blond during their time together in France.

He let his hand reach up and graze a soft cheek, brushing back some hair as he gently clasped a hand behind the blond's neck. The familiar act pinged a certain sense of longing. He had missed the casual touches, the soft looks. They were things he had almost forgotten and yet they came back so familiarly upon merely seeing his lovely chef.

Their time together in Paris had been brief, just past half a year, but in his time in Barcelona, he'd thought of the blond he'd left behind more often than he'd care to admit. He'd never expected to find himself with a consistent lover, let alone one with a child. Leo and Sanji were such bright sparks in his life he found himself inexplicably drawn to them and eventually just let his restraint go to indulge in the human contact he seemed to have been missing. The two of them hadn't had anything nearly in the realms of 'exclusivity' both not wishing to label what they had; however, it was obvious for all involved that they hadn't been flirting around since they first hooked up. It was a shame it had to be put on hold when it had.

Getting close to the answers he was searching for and with things in Barcelona finally settling down, he couldn't help but give in to the aching need to reunite with his past lover, a man who had suited him in all aspects excepting in how clean his hands were. Screw the labels and their shared trait of not talking about emotions. He had decided he wanted Sanji in his life. It wasn't going to be easy; he was fully aware of how Sanji belittled himself and was actively his own enemy for finding happiness. Law also knew his lifestyle came with many hardships that at one point in time he had loathed to ask of Sanji to suffer through, but after nearly a year of being separated, he had decided he had to try. Sanji had left the dark, but Law was very much still enveloped in it. His ties to the sinister realm of their past would always be a point of concern for the chef but he knew they could work through things. He missed Sanji's wit and sarcasm. He missed how he could flip from casual to sexy and back again all within the span of minutes. He missed the amazing gourmet lifestyle Sanji provided for anyone of importance in his life, in cooking and in love. Truly, Sanji's indulgences knew no bounds in emotional availability and also the bedroom…but most of all, Law missed his confidant; his advisor, his match as a lover and as a friend.

He and Sanji both shared fucked up childhoods and it was perhaps his own experiences that allowed him to see how Sanji stood in the way of his own happiness as if he were a man who didn't deserve any because…he had been there too. He had been that man that had been too closed off, aloof, trying to live as a lone wolf while unconsciously leaning in to any sense of human warmth and empathy. Meeting Sanji had been a glass shattering moment for him. It was as if the foggy film that distorted his vision cracked and fell away to show for once a clear image.

Sanji.

Sanji had pulled him from the depths of his loneliness when he hadn't even known he was lonely. It was a humiliating thought at first, admitting to the idea of loneliness sounded so…pathetic, and yet, Sanji's bright warmth flooded through his doubts and beckoned him to reach out.

The familiar smoothness of soft skin beneath his palm brought all this and more to his mind and a small, soft smirk to his lips. Beyond Sanji, he could see two men extremely invested in his reunion with the blond. The green hair one of them bore made no secret of who he was.

That was the ex. Sanji's ex.

Before he and the chef fell into their 'relationship' Sanji had confided in him as a friend about the lover he had left back in Japan. On nights when they had drunk slightly more than they should have, Sanji would first go through his happy-drunk phase before settling into his melancholy depression as he thought of his past love. It was no secret between them that Zoro had been a major impactor on Sanji's life. Even when the two had started their romps in the sheets in dirty Parisian hotels it had loomed over their head. Sanji was still in love with the ex that had callously broken his heart. Law was ok with it, it didn't mean he had to like the guy, in fact, he'd always thought Sanji lucky for escaping such a callous guy who couldn't notice the amazing good Sanji had to offer and took it for granted. Yet, Sanji, despite his virtues, or perhaps because of them, still held a special place in his heart for his ex. They had both been fine with it, after all, their relationship had started out as purely physical. A release of needs.

Then things changed.

Feelings got involved.

That added a layer of tension however it did not stop their compatibility. Law, used to being indifferent, didn't find it too hard to act the part, however the deeper they got into their six-month stint, the more frustrated he became. It didn't help that the underground activities he was involved in had started becoming tumultuous at the same time. It forced his attention between two things, Sanji and his work. The fight for which one held his attention set Sanji quietly on edge and his own unspoken issues with Sanji's ex strained things from his end. Eventually they had called the whole thing off, amiably yet still both hurting from the separation. Law had always seen this as more of a break than a break up…he hoped Sanji had felt the same, but hearing from the blond earlier this year that he planned to moved back to Japan set something ablaze in his chest…something very akin to jealousy. He had wanted him to stay in France, but knew things were better for him in Japan with all the current mayhem happening in Europe. Though, after a few months, against certain people's opinions, he decided he had to go and see him. He was sure that Sanji was the partner for him, Law just needed to reorganize his life to accommodate the blond so he could see how serious Law was and finally let go of whatever feelings he still had left for his jackass of an ex and come back to Europe with him.

He had always expected Sanji to stay in France, after all, Leo's whole life had been there, he had not accounted for the chef to move back to Japan to be with his old man. He'd known Sanji had played with the idea for a while, but always seemed to lean negatively into the idea, his own teenage years in the Asian country colouring his idea of putting Leo through the same thing. It was that thought that had made Law accept the length of time he'd have to be away. So, when Sanji had let him know of the impending move during Law's eight-month stint in Barcelona sorting out the trash, he'd been shocked to hear that the blond was going to leave.

It hadn't been pleasant…for him or his men. He'd quickly sent out feelers to find out all they could to make sure the blond chef was safe and not in danger. That's when the news came to him.

Judge had been in France.

Realising that he had been out of the country when one of the many traumas of his love's life had come traipsing around throwing around subtle threats and sending the chef into a panic made his gut churn. The bitter realisation entered his mind as he accepted the fact that he had done exactly what Sanji's motherfucking ex had done.

Chosen work over Sanji.

It was guilt that threw him into his deep research. Guilt that drove him to work long hours find out all he could about the asshole who had caused so much grief for Sanji. The phone calls shared between the two of them before the blond's departure had given him some hope. Sanji didn't blame him and was grateful for all his help in keeping the Russian mafia boss away. Law spoke often with him about protecting the two blonds from Judge and kept him up to date on any information gathered. He had thought that a couple months in Japan with Zeff might be the perfect chance for the chef to relax and unwind whilst also being out of reach of the madman that was his father.

So, he'd happily sent Sanji and Leo off at the airport. In his mind this was another short separation before things could finally settle down. Judge would have to be dealt with again and coerced into leaving the two blonds alone for the rest of their lives and the other mess was looking to be wrapped up soon too. Luckily, there was a fully prepared squad who had vested interest in making sure things panned out that way. So, Law figured he would enjoy what he could with Sanji and Leo in the upcoming weeks, treating this Japan trip as a holiday of sorts to unwind, relax and set about convincing Sanji to come back with him.

Sanji had shuffled him over to a bar stool and Law cared to notice that it was on the other side of the brunette and as far away from the ex as possible without seeming rude and avoidant. He inwardly smirked to himself. Of course, he'd play polite here, but if the brute were to ever see him without an audience and Sanji's protection, some choice words were going to be said.

The loud brunette was a jittery bastard. By all accounts, Sanji had introduced the young man as if he were an adult but his mannerisms told Law otherwise. This was not a man. It was a child in the body of an adult with no filter and no restraint for human boundaries. As a Spaniard, he was used to a 'touchy-feely' culture but it was one thing he abhorred more than anything. This kid was disproving the stereotype of 'the restrained, refined, self-contained Japanese' and Law did not appreciate it. Not one bit.

"So, you're Sanji's friend from France? Cool!" The kid bubbled whilst still shoving food into his ungodly gob.

Law arched one eyebrow. "Well yes, we met in France, but I am from Spain. However, I do often frequent the Parisian cityscape."

"Hey, wow! You speak really good Japanese!" The brunette exclaimed swinging around in his seat. Law flinched to the side to avoid being sprayed by some stray hollandaise sauce from the kid's breakfast. The fucking brat seeing the splatter didn't come out with an apology, he just started laughing loudly finding the whole thing hilarious.

He was two seconds away from decking the disrespectful welp when a strong kick thunked the kid's face directly into the counter.

"God, Luffy! You're such a fucking embarrassment. Watch where you splatter, when you eat, if you can't do that, I won't feed you anymore!"

The little brunette began whining apologies and pleas to keep making food for him and the chef turned to face him, dishcloth in hand wiping up the mess made on the counter.

"I'm so fucking sorry, Law. Luffy's just too energetic sometimes." Law let a small smile rest on his lips hearing his ex-lover speak Spanish to him. Sanji wasn't so confident in the language but he had always tried so as not to burden Law always speaking French to him.

"It's fine. You're not the one flinging around food in here. And besides, I get all your attention to myself now." He ended with a sultry smirk, enjoying the slight startled of wide eyes and the fiery blush settling once more on pale ears before those intense sapphire eyes caught his own with a sly smirk.

"You're so shameless Law." The blond teased playing along like they always had.

"That's not French."

The voice cut through the gentle banter and Law cursed inwardly as the blond startled, remembering where they were and who was present as their audience. He locked that sexy personality behind calm indifference and turned to face the interrupter, namely the rude green-haired brute who'd spoiled the moment.

"Ah, no. It was Spanish."

"Wow, Sanji! You know Spanish too? That's amazing!" The brunette exclaimed gleefully.

"Ah, well, yes. In Europe, people are multilingual and I just…decided to learn, I guess."

Law smirked seeing the muscle head trying to keep the frown off his face while the kid buzzed in his seat with excitement exclaiming how amazing Sanji was. A little teasing was definitely in order.

"Yes, Sanji is so extremely accommodating, you see." Law started, looking as if his words were directed at Luffy, when truthfully his gaze was subtly locked on a certain gym-junkie's reaction. "When I was in France, Sanji felt it unfair I had no one to converse with in my native tongue, I guess it's because he'd experienced the same thing here in Japan wasn't it, Sanji?" He took a second to look at the blond who stuttered out a nod in affirmation whilst Law continued. "It was just so nice you know; someone taking the effort to learn my language and pay enough attention to me to, you know, even be bothered with it." He could see the green machine burning in fury no doubt at his words but hopefully also at himself and his lack of care as well. Law wasn't going to let the man think he was all that when he had failed Sanji so badly. He had no qualms in throwing the man's own shortcomings in his face. The idiot had another thing coming if he thought he could just worm his way back into Sanji's life only to live the same ignorant lifestyle he had before. Done with spending energy on the meathead, he turned to look at Sanji letting all the sincerity he had. "I really appreciate that you still do this for me."

He was rewarded with a slight blush and a small smile as the chef used his trademark 'laugh off any praise' tactic. He let Sanji have it, not calling him out. He wanted Sanji to feel safe and if the man felt like he couldn't take the compliment in front of others, he wasn't going to push it now…perhaps later though…in private.

"So, Law." The chef started tucking the dishcloth into his apron. "Where will you be staying, um actually, how long are you staying? Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

Preening at the fact he held all of the blond's attention, he couldn't help but gloat internally. "Well, I wanted it to be a surprise, mi príncipe." He smiled at the quick-fire blush that spread across the blond's face at the old embarrassing nickname. It left as soon as it came, but Law enjoyed the fact that for a second he had helped put it there. "You have no doubt had a hard time settling back in and I thought I could come and ease some tension for you." He paused a moment and laid his hand on top of the chefs that was resting on the counter. "I missed you, Sanji." He said in a softer voice his eyes locked onto those perfect blue pools.

Just as always, Sanji's eyes showed all his emotions. There was definitely some awkwardness and flattered feelings but Law could sense a melancholy sadness in their depths at the same time. It wasn't exactly what the mafia boss had expected, and he scolded himself silently for maybe adding too much drama into the chef's life. However, his self-reproach was quieted by the blond's next words.

"I missed you too, Law." Sanji softly said while letting his fingers curl up to intertwine with Law's before gently detaching and sliding up to brush a lock of hair behind his ear. A signature Sanji move of having had enough attention directed at himself. The deep emotions welling within Law shouted at him to keep pursuing the shy chef, but the more reasonable side of him lightly reminded him to take his time and make Sanji's comfort his utmost priority. Taking a breath, he pasted on one of the fake smiles Sanji and he were so good at conjuring and spoke in a louder voice, address all present in the conversation.

"As for the length of my stay, I haven't decided that as of yet, you know how my business can be Sanji." He directed the last part towards the chef with a meaningful nod. "I also have yet to procure accommodation…"

"Ah that's great!" Luffy exclaimed. "You can stay with me and Ace!"

Sanji breathed a sigh of relief when he finally clocked off from his morning shift. It was already twenty past two, twenty minutes late, but that was always a given with the morning shift, the change-over was always messy and more often than not, it wasn't as smooth as anyone hoped it would be. The one thing he was grateful for was the fact that Luffy had taken Law away to get settled and not long after, the marimo had also left.

Sanji wasn't stupid. He'd gotten carried away with Law's surprise presence for a while but felt Zoro's eyes boring into his back the whole time Law had been there and even more so in the time after. He knew Law had been using his flirting to fuck with Zoro. In all the times he'd spoken with the mafia guy about his ex, Law kept it no secret that he thought Sanji lucky to escaped such a toxic relationship when he had. It was always a sore point they could never fully agree on due to Sanji's traitorous heart, but he'd learnt lies of omission were his friends when Law got in that mood. So, it was no wonder the broody brunette thought it a good idea to shake things up with his arrival. Despite the added pressure, Sanji couldn't hate Law for coming. He himself was surprised to find that paradoxically Law's presence both alarmed and calmed him. It was obvious that the Spaniard's arrival had ruffled Zoro as well and honestly, Sanji didn't know what to think of it. He hadn't even come to terms with all the shit Zoro had spouted at him at hanami and now he had his most recent fling –had it even been that?– come from Europe to throw another spanner in the works. Sanji sighed as he exhaled his smoke. He was too damn tired to be thinking of feelings.

He knew the swordsman wanted to talk; wanted to ask more questions about Law and all that the man's presence had brought up. Sanji just didn't want to deal with it. He just felt exhausted, emotionally and physically and he just didn't want to think. He didn't want to dwell on all the recent developments and figure out how they made him feel. He didn't want to reflect on what he actually wanted. Zeff kept harping on at him –okay, for once it wasn't harping– he was actually fucking concerned and showing it on his face with no judgement. But the point stood, even Zeff was telling him to think and right now, it was the one thing Sanji didn't feel capable of doing. Especially after Zoro's confession at the park. He just couldn't handle the thought of hashing up the past and exposing all the carefully hidden broken bones yet to mend.

Another thing he had yet to process was the fact that Law was here, in Japan. He'd never pinned the guy as the type to ever leave Europe and now here he was in the orient. He had a vague idea of what it could mean, but again, he didn't want to think too deeply about it. The thing he had with Law was in the past… just like Zoro. He had more important things to focus on now. Namely, the safety and well-being of his son. Sanji shook his head as his fished in his pocket for his cigarettes. He had a few more moments to himself before he had to pick up Leo, and he really needed another smoke. He flicked his lighter and lit up barely calming down with the first hit of nicotine.

He had come back to Japan to escape the crazy shitstorm in Europe, why then did the universe decide to shit all over him here with all his stupid romantic problems. He had wanted a break and it was like everything around him was fucking with him to deny him even a small bout of relief...so he'd taken to hiding. He exhaled a puff of smoke, his nerves still rattled.

It wasn't by accident that after Law's arrival at the Baratie Sanji hadn't had as much time to hang around the breakfast bar like he had when Luffy and Zoro had first come in. It may be cowardly, but fuck, he wasn't ready to talk through this shit with Zoro, let alone Law. He wasn't ready to deal with any of this. It was too much too soon and honestly, he didn't even know where he stood with Zoro's latest confession, let alone how to react to the burning heat Zoro kept staring at him with today during breakfast. The terrifying thought that everyone expected him to have his shit together as an adult by now only served to make him feel even more incompetent. Sure, he was Leo's guardian, and he could be responsible for the little boy, but dealing with his own problems was fucking scary and it was petrifying to think of the disappointment of everyone if he just…couldn't.

Not for the first time since his return, Sanji realised he'd been spoilt in France. He'd had many people to rely on, to turn to and…surprisingly, none of them had had any judgment for him and his actions…or lack thereof. Now, back in Japan, he had a disturbing fact thrown back in his face.

He hadn't really grown up, had he?

A small cloud of smog had formed around him with his incessant need to fulfill his craving.

He still ran and hid from his problems instead of delving in and trying to sort through them no matter how hard it could be. And now, standing here leaning up against the back of the Baratie in the grimy alleyway Sanji was helpless to stop his thoughts form running away from him and freaking him out on a level he'd been too terrified to get near for the longest time. He lit up yet another cigarette. For once, the answer was clearly thrown in his face.

You're terrified to really realise that all along…it was you that fucked it all up.

You know that you're incapable of a proper relationship and yet you string these men along faking it just well enough that they are ready to do anything for you…then you can't contain it anymore and your true colours show…

You're too needy…

You're too desperate…

You demand too much…

…Attention…

…Time…

…Love…

And you're not even capable of returning it…because you're too selfish.

…

It's better for them if you leave them be…

…

His self-musings were interrupted when out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of a familiar mop of green hair. Shocked, he pushed off the wall on which he leaned and faced the man his heart racing, the unrealistic horrifying thought that Zoro could have somehow heard those deep dark deliberations, petrifying him. It was too close, too personal to be heard…

"What are you doing here?" As soon as the words left his mouth, he flinched inwardly at how accusatory they sounded. He compensated by flashing a weak tired smile. The green haired man shrugged looking a little out of place with nerves.

"Oh, just ended up here."

The nervous shift from foot to foot was not lost on the blond and his mind went into hyperdrive. There was only one reason the swordsman would be here and Sanji wanted no part in it. He was nowhere near ready for these deep heart to heart talks –he'd barely processed that Zoro had confessed to him at the park during hanami and had only just now come out of his own self-pity-party. Panic settled over him. His anxiety yelled at him to squash the panic and not show anything on his face.

"Ha, always getting lost." He tried to joke in an attempt to adjourn the discussion before anything could begin. His eyes flicked everywhere but Zoro's eyes. "It's a miracle you always seem to find your way here. Though I guess your nose and stomach work in tandem to find the best place to chow down, huh?" The swordsman barely paid the small jab any mind and Sanji floundered a little. His attempt to goad Zoro into a bickering match before he could subtly leave was not working. He could see that Zoro wanted to talk and Sanji was stalling as he thought of ways he could quickly escape this awkwardness despite the fact that he had just lit up another cigarette and it was obvious that he actually did have some time to spare.

Zoro cleared his throat and raised his head to try and catch Sanji's eyes. "After hanami and..." The man took a deep breath, "all that happened today, I realised that maybe I haven't made myself clear..."

"Ummm...what are you talking about…?" Sanji mentally cringed at his immediate response. He should have diverted the conversation again before–

"I love you, Sanji. I've never stopped. I want to be a part of your life again; I want us to be together..."

That.

Something cold dropped into the pit of his stomach at the same time his heart pounded so fast it felt like all his extremities were on fire.

Sanji knew.

Deep down he had known. He had locked it away not wanting to hear it, feel it. Not wanting to have to deal with the dissidence it caused his fragile psyche when thinking about it. But hearing the words out loud, so clear and the meaning so undeniable, shook Sanji to his core.

He wasn't ready for this. For any of it.

He wasn't ready to forgive…

A soft huff left his lips as his fringe covered his eyes as he lowered his head. For some reason that irked and escaped him, his eyes had filled with tears and his confused mind couldn't process if they were born of happiness or sadness. All he knew was he hated them being there. He didn't want to be weak. He couldn't allow himself to be weak...especially in front of him. His mind told him this wasn't Zoro's fault… that he had to calm down before he did something he'd regret but his pounding heart wasn't on board with the idea.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Zoro." He said, forcing himself to keep an even voice.

"I know, I hurt you, Sanji but–" Zoro began stepping forward the movement petrifying Sanji as he quickly interrupted the man, his tone coming across tighter and more clipped than he would have preferred.

"Exactly, it wasn't good. We both ended up where we are for a reason. Don't make things more complicated than they have to be." He dropped his cigarette, grinding it into the discoloured concrete floor.

"Sanji," Zoro started once more, his voice soft, understanding, placating. "That's what I'm trying to say; it was horrible and it was my fault, I won't let it happen again. I want to make things right–"

The sweet words filled his head and part of Sanji thought it would be oh so easy to look up and into those golden orbs and melt. Just let Zoro take him away from all the pain, start again and just be together…but reality wasn't so kind.

He was broken.

And it seemed he had a nasty habit of inflicting pain on those he tried to love…so this had to stop.

"You think, I'll let you do that again…?"

The words were whispered, softly almost as if he hadn't really wanted the swordsman to hear them. Had he actually? With Sanji's head bowed they weren't meant to be projected out loudly, but once they had been uttered, it was as if them being voiced gave him more strength to continue; as if all that was holding him back had snapped, releasing all his unchecked emotions.

All movement ceasing from Zoro told Sanji that they had been heard and not just uttered within his broken mind.

A broken "What?" was whispered in the same tone and Sanji forced himself to take a deep breath and ready himself for what he was about to do. He raised his head, sapphire looking straight into gold.

"You want me to let you have the chance to do that all again?" To his utter self-loathing and horror he felt his already wet eyes become even more so but he ploughed on, trying not to focus on the look of utter shock and hurt on his ex-lover's face. "You want me to open myself up to that all over again?! What makes you think I'd do that?! We didn't work. We never worked. I was miserable by the end! How can you ask me this?!" There was a slight edge of hysteria in his voice and Sanji hated himself for how weak it made him sound he needed to cover it up before Zoro began placating him again and he would fall to pieces all over again.

"Sanji, I–"

"No!" The scream ripped from him and he found himself in the passenger seat of his own body as he continued to spout words, fear in the driver seat. "I don't want to hear it! I don't want to think it! Just…just leave me alone!"

Zoro's face was panicked now and Sanji felt something stab in his heart at the look of utter sadness and pain on the green haired man's face. He turned his face away only to gasp and look up once more when his ex stepped forward and tried to collect him in arms, pleading.

"Sanji, I know I hurt you, but–"

"Let go of me!" He yelled, pushing away with all his might. To his utter shame, the tears he had held in now spilled over and ran down his cheeks. However, Zoro seemed to come to senses and realized he was distressing the blond and stepped back. "Stop! Just stop! Leave me alone! Why do you have to do this! I don't…I was just fine…why...why did you have to come here? Why do you have to ruin everything?!"

Those last words rang out loud and clear in the back alley of the Baratie.

Sanji huffed for breath, staring at Zoro with a broken expression as he desperately tried to pull back into a semblance of control. Zoro stood, a meter away his face scrunched up in pain –the face he made when he was trying desperately not to cry– and Sanji had horrifying realisation it was him who had put that look there.

Zoro, who had only ever cried a handful of times was looking at him with that face…with that pain. The cook opened his mouth to apologise but shut it once more. His breathing was out of control, he was a mess and he didn't trust himself to speak anymore. He knew what he had just done, but the small amount of pride he clung to told him not to say anything. Told him not to ask for forgiveness.

Maybe it was better for Zoro like this.

He wasn't sure how much time passed since his horrible outburst but eventually Zoro's head bowed and his fist unclenched, his hands staying idly by his side.

"Sanji, I–" he took a breath, his voice shaky. "I'm sorry, for all that I did to hurt you four years ago and I'm sorry for coming 'round and bringing it all back up now." He swallowed and Sanji felt his pain with every breath and yet stood frozen to the spot leaning back against the grimy wall. "I won't come around you anymore." He spoke in a softer voice taking a deep breath. He raised his head and forced a smile on his beautiful tanned face making Sanji's heart squeeze in pain. "I want you to be happy, Sanji, that's all."

A few straggler tears slipped from ocean blue eyes and the bittersweet smile set on the swordsman's face made Sanji swallow thickly.

"I am sorry for everything."

With those last words he turned and exited the alleyway.

Sanji stood in the same position for a long while before eventually crumpling to a squat leaning against the alley wall. Tears spilled with abandon, he couldn't stop them and he couldn't help but feel like he'd not only hurt Zoro's heart, but destroyed his own in the process.

Uploaded 30th September 2019

Um, so…I'm sorry for the really big delay in uploads. I'd make a joke about it being A Slow Process but that feels tacky. (´๑•_•๑) All jokes aside, feel free to skip the note if you're not interested but here's my explanation.

.。.:*・° .。.:*・° .。.:*・° .。.:*・° .。.:*・° .。.:*・° .。.:*・° .。.:*・°

The reason it took me so long to post this is that I had just written myself into a corner. You can see that this chapter dropped a lot of info and made more obvious 'hints' if you can call them that at this point へ‿(ツ)‿ㄏ…? and really, it sets up the next "segment" of the story…but to be real…I just wasn't in the mood to write this exposition for a long time. It's a lame reason, I'm sorry. There's no big grand outside factor that stopped me from writing other than every time I opened this document to continue writing, I took a look at what scenes I'd have to write and just felt completely uninspired. I want to clarify it's not that I was bored with the story, but that I just couldn't get into the right mood to capture the feelings of all of the players. Law, Sanji and Zoro all have major emotional breaks (here and coming up) and I felt like all the drafts I wrote didn't capture the essence without being cheesy. That was my main problem. It felt like everything I wrote was just too fast paced and added to too much cheese for the mood of the script. It took me a good solid 6 months or so to figure out that this was the reason for my lack of inspiration and then the rest of the time trying to correct and combat the cheesiness. So again, I am sorry.

I am truly thankful to all of you who reviewed and liked and followed me during this time. It was really receiving all your kind reviews that let the guilt finally win and forced me to knuckle down and get these chapters out. (More times than I care to admit…sorry) Also, reading other fanfics and doujinshi out there reminded me of how much I love this pairing and got me in the mood to try again (and again...and again...)

Like, I said before, I pretty much penned the whole notes of this fic waaaaaay before the first chapter was even posted, but to re-inspire myself I went through them all and expanded on them further making more detailed notes and specific plot lines. The clearer outlook I had on the whole France situation made it easier to focus on writing this chapter and navigating where exactly I want future ones to go. Sorry it took so long! ๑•́ㅿ•̀๑) ᔆᵒʳʳᵞ

Does this mean that the next chapter will be out soon?

I cannot promise that. I'm sorry if you were expecting a different answer but I really don't want to give up on this fic because I rushed out a chapter that forever made me hate the direction the fic was heading. However, I am trying to push myself to be more accountable for setting aside time to write and focus on the fic in the way it deserves. So essentially, I cannot promise a time frame, but I am trying to be more on top of it!

Again, thank you for all the support – especially to those who bothered to review during my long impromptu hiatus and the ones who reviewed immediately after my posting the chapter. Reading [and re-reading] those reviews were the kick in the butt I needed to finally get started on this again.

Thank you all so much. ﾟ･:,｡ ＼(^-^ ) ありがと ( ^-^)/ ,｡･:･ﾟ

And again, sorry for the long wait. I really want to do my best to finish this story and I hope you all stay along for the ride.

Aoi Koneko Chan ( ˘ ³˘)❤

.。.:*・° .。.:*・° .。.:*・° .。.:*・° .。.:*・° .。.:*・° .。.:*・° .。.:*・°

yukino76: Thanks for the kind words! (っ´▽｀)っ

Siriana2526: Thanks for taking the time to review. I'm glad you enjoyed their father-son relationship. I love fics that show papa Zeff (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ so I'm glad you like how I portrayed him!

Raigon: Sorry for the bad timing, but I'm glad you enjoyed it! I hope this chapter gave you a few more hints as to Sanji's backstory! ٩(๑•◡-๑)۶

Chel: Your words flattered me so much! I'm not kidding when I say this was definitely one of the reviews that guilted me the most into continuing .。.:*・° [not a bad thing at all!] *・° :.。I'm so glad you're back on the OP train! Glad to be igniting the fire once more like you did for me! (ﾉ^^)乂(^^ )ﾉ

Subaru's dreams: You're nowhere near as late as me so don't worry •(◐﹏◐)• Sorry about having the cliffhanger for so long. As for Sanji and stupid things…well, the man can sometimes forget the bigger picture but he's a smart boy! Glad you enjoyed it! (ɔ ˘⌣˘)˘⌣˘ c)

TrafalgarDCecil: I'm glad you're enjoying the fic! Thanks for leaving a review! (^_^)(^o^)

Curlybrow: First off, I am soooooo sorry I made you re-read it so much! Again, I have no real excuses! Thank you for expressing, with all the passion you felt, how much this chapter resonated with you. Your reviews were definitely some of the ones where the monster of guilt crawled upon my back and I'm grateful for that. Thank you for all your support, truly. (つ≧▽≦)つ⊂(・ヮ・⊂)

monsterpipi: I apologise for the cliff hanger… It wasn't meant to be like this, I swear! I'm glad you're enjoying this fic and as usual really love your predictions! ~(◠‿◕✿)

Jheni Kichiki: Yeaaaaaaah, sorry about the long unplanned silence on my part…but thanks for giving it a try and even more so for leaving a review. It really was one of those ones that shook me out and made me think 'Has it really been that long! Man that's shitty!' (｡ŏ﹏ŏ) So, I am sorry that you had to read all of it only to see that I'm lazy! [Been there, done that, it's not fun so I apologise!] I'm also very interested in the pairings you like. I hope you can enjoy this fic! ───==≡≡ΣΣ(っ´▽｀)っ

Also, thanks to lupcy, Novva, siberianRS, Jheni Kuchiki, shikakutenri, It'sASpectacle, CosmicBeauty, Tsuyoshi-chin, butyourgonnabehappyaboutit and FynnAdair, for favoriting this story! It means a lot to me :)