Kenny's truck kicked up dust as it skidded to a stop in the beat-up patch of dirt that his family called a driveway. He'd been rage driving all over town since he left Tweek Bros, but thankfully the ineptitude of the South Park police department was legendary. Putting the truck in park, he gripped the steering wheel with both hands and rested his head on top of it.

He sighed. He was still processing everything that he'd learned this morning. It wasn't even noon and he'd already felt like he wanted to go back to bed and just restart the day. Not only did Clyde discover his latent bisexuality, but he had already taken advantage of it to score two points in one evening. That news would be bad enough, but on top of that, he was also the one who had been behind the rumor that made Kenny and Red's life miserable.

Kenny felt his chest tighten and his pulse quicken. He took a few deep calming breaths—in and out—and felt much better. He still had time to salvage the day. Once he changed clothes and cleaned up a bit, he could head to work. He just hoped that he could keep his mind clear of Clyde so that he could keep his flirty smile intact and rake in the tips.

When he entered the house, Karen was sitting on the couch in her lazy Sunday best, messing around on her phone.

"Hey, Kenny," she said, glancing up briefly.

"Hey," he replied. "I'm gonna shower and get ready for work."

Kenny thought he sounded calm, but Karen could tell that he was in a mood. She put her phone down and peered at him over the couch.

"Didn't you just shower last night?" she asked.

"Yeah. I did. I just," he paused and sighed, "feel dirty this morning."

A shower was just what he needed. Thankfully, the water was hot and relaxing, and he took a few extra minutes to rub one out before turning it off. He was surprised he was even able to get hard with Clyde lingering in his mind, but he could feel the anger and stress leaving his body as he came.

He dried off and wrapped the towel around his waist for the walk to his room. He put on his nicest clothes—the ones he reserved for work—and combed his wet hair before shaking it out into the messy look that he liked.

Karen was tying up her sneakers when he finally walked back into the living room.

"Why the sneaks?" he asked, patting his pockets to double check for his wallet and keys.

"Clyde texted and asked if I wanted to go on a walk. Figured it would be good for me to go outside and get some fresh air, you know? Also I haven't hung out with him in like a week."

Kenny felt his jaw tense when Karen said Clyde's name. While she was talking, he clenched his right fist and punched it into a couch cushion, hoping she wouldn't notice. A sharp, throbbing pain coursed through his fingers and hand.

"Fuck!" he yelled through his teeth.

So much for Karen not noticing.

"Are you okay?" She immediately turned to look at Kenny and saw that he was guarding his hand. "Oh my god, Kenny! What did you do to your hand?"

She stood up to go fetch the first aid kit. Kenny waved her off.

"Eh, it got caught in the door at Tweak Bros this morning. It was feeling better, but I just moved it in a way that really hurt. It's okay, though. I'm fine. Seriously!"

He put on his charming smile to try to deflect his sister's concerns as he escaped out the front door. Getting into his truck once more, he groaned. Clyde was back on his mind. He'd barely had a ten minute break. He reached into his tape deck and pulled out a Megadeth cassette. He was really going to need it to get through tonight.

"It's such a beautiful day out," said Karen. "I love autumn. It's my favorite season."

"I'm a summer guy," said Clyde. "Fall makes me sad because girls start putting on more clothes. It's a real bummer."

Karen rolled her eyes. "You sound like Kenny."

Clyde cringed.

"I guess I love autumn because I love the art of it," she continued. "All the colors that we get to see, even if it's for a short period of time. It just makes me want to draw everything."

"Have you been hanging with Craig lately? Cause he says the same thing." Clyde snorted. "Nerds."

Karen playfully pushed on his arm, making him smile.

"So...I asked you out here to talk about something other than the seasons," he said. "There's something really important I have to tell you."

"You'd better not say you've reconsidered dating me and want to ask me out, because I don't think my heart could take it." She clutched her chest and made doe eyes in an over-the-top gesture, hoping he'd realize she was joking.

"Nah, it's nothing like that," Clyde replied. He hesitated for a moment, leaving them walking in silence before he continued. "It has to do with your brother—"

Karen's face turned to stone. "What about my brother?" she quickly interrupted. It turned out that Karen was just as protective of Kenny as he was of her.

"—And me," Clyde finished.

He glanced over at her to gage her reaction. Her face had softened some, but her guard was still up.

"What's going on with you two?" she asked quietly.

Clyde rubbed the back of his neck. "So, uh...Kenny and I don't get along very well. We, uh, kinda sorta hate each other."

Karen giggled. "Trust me, that is not a secret. He hates the fact that we're friends now." She looked over at Clyde. "I don't get it, though. You guys used to be friends, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. Our two groups of friends hung out together all the time back in fourth grade."

"No, I mean I specifically remember you coming over our house to play with Kenny."

"Maybe. I don't really remember a lot from back then, so…" Clyde's voice trailed off. "Anyway, that's not important. What's important is that I thought I was going to be on the front cover of the first issue of the school newspaper this semester."

"You were, though," said Karen.

"No I wasn't. I mean, yes, I was, but your brother was taking up half of the cover! And he was being such a dick about, it just made me…" Clyde growled and clenched his fists. He quickly relaxed his hands and took a deep breath. "Okay, long story short, I felt that Kenny was trying to take away my status as top dog of the school, so I challenged him to a competition of who could, uh…hook-up with the most people in one semester."

Karen looked somber as she continued to listen.

"And I'm telling you all of this because I need to confess something and apologize to you. I'm the one who put up those flyers with the STD rumor about Kenny. I did it. I was losing in the competition, and I thought it could help give me an advantage. I didn't think about the hurt it'd cause before I did it. I'm so sorry, Karen. I want to make it better."

Karen slowly nodded her head as she processed what Clyde had said. "Okay...does Kenny know you did it?"

"Yeah. The truth always comes out, you know?" Clyde rubbed his hand on the back of his head, wincing at the sore spot from where his head hit the brick wall.

"And how hard did he kick your ass?"

"He didn't, to tell you the truth. I definitely thought I was going to get punched in the face, but he just kinda threw me against a wall and yelled a lot. But yeah, I started the rumor and I'm sorry for any suffering it may have caused you," said Clyde.

"Okay...okay. Can I ask you one more thing though?"

Clyde nodded.

"Why are you apologizing to me about this? Did Kenny tell you to do this?"

The pink that rose in Clyde's cheek gave Karen the answer she expected.

"He can be such a dummy sometimes. I wasn't upset about the rumor itself, I was worried about him. I know that he keeps stuff inside a lot and tries to maintain this cool, calm exterior because he doesn't want to burden the people he loves with his problems. I didn't want it to eat away at him without being able to talk to someone about it."

Clyde nodded slowly. What Karen was saying made a lot of sense. It explained why everyone seemed to love Kenny and think that he was just this fun laid-back guy. He projected that image to the world as a defense, and for whatever reason, he let that guard down around Clyde all the time. Lucky him.

"Anyway," Karen continued, "apology accepted, Clyde. I'm fine. Like I said, I'm just concerned about Kenny. I'm glad you told him the truth and apologized."

"I never apologized to him. I'm not sorry for what I did to him. He's a bastard, so I don't care. But you, you're my friend and I wanted you to hear it from me first."

Karen reached up and smacked Clyde on the back of the head. A quick dull pain pulsed through his head, as she somehow managed to hit the same exact spot the wall had.

"You're a dummy just like him! You have to apologize! It's the right thing to do!"

Clyde's face scrunched up and he began to grumble under his breath.

"Look, don't apologize to him for his sake, apologize to him for mine." Karen flashed him her best pout.

"Hmm…" Clyde walked in silence, deep in thought. He felt stuck. What options did he have?

"What if…? What if I made it up to him without actually having to say the words 'I'm sorry' to his face?" he asked.

Karen raised her eyebrow. "What exactly do you have in mind?"

What a difference a day makes. A couple of Megadeth albums and a dozen cougars making it rain on him throughout the night was enough to get Kenny's mind back on track. Fuck Clyde Donovan. Who gives a shit what he or anyone else thinks? Kenny knew who he was and that was most important. In less than a year, he'd be out of here anyway. Maybe he wouldn't get into his dream school, but he was almost guaranteed to at least get into CU-Boulder. It might not be that far away from South Park, but it would be far enough.

Karen noticed the difference in his mood from the moment he woke her up for school. She was glad that he wasn't so angry anymore, but she now understood where that anger had come from. She couldn't blame him for being livid over what Clyde had done. Still, she wondered if Kenny realized how similar he and Clyde were, deep down. Maybe that was part of the reason they hated each other so much. They saw the things they hated about themselves in the other.

Or maybe they were just idiots who held onto absurd grudges for far too long.

Karen didn't say much on the ride to school. Kenny didn't notice. He was still vibing on his good mood, drumming on the steering wheel to a song in his head. She was thankful for his obliviousness. On any other day, he'd wonder what was wrong—she always talked on the way to school. The truth was that she had an important secret meeting this morning, and she didn't want Kenny to pick up on it.

She waved to Kenny as they split to go to their respective lockers. Clyde was already waiting there for her.

"Okay, I brought you a plain t-shirt," he said. "Now you're sure that you can do this? It's okay if you can't. I can always just use a Sharpie."

"Oh no, Sharpie would look awful! Trust me, I got this. I stay after school anyway so I can go home with Kenny, and Mrs. Grace keeps the Art room open till four every day, even when the Art Club isn't meeting."

Clyde opened his mouth, but Karen answered him before he could ask his question.

"And don't worry, it's usually pretty empty on Mondays. No one will see this shirt until you want them to." She opened her phone and showed Clyde a picture of her design concept. "Is this okay? We don't have silkscreen supplies, but we have fabric paint I can use."

"That looks fucking awesome! You're so talented, Karen."

Karen beamed. She knew that they were just friends, but when Clyde praised her, she felt the lingering remnants of her crush.

"So I'll meet you here again tomorrow morning, okay?" Clyde said, handing over the t-shirt.

"It's a date!"

She waved at Clyde as he headed down the hallway.

"What the hell did Donovan want?"

Karen nearly jumped out of her skin. She spun around to find Kenny standing behind her. He couldn't have been standing there very long, or Clyde would've commented.

"Oh, uh…" She couldn't tell him the full truth because she swore secrecy to Clyde. "...he wanted to commission me to make a shirt for him. We were negotiating the price. I got him up to fifty."

She held her breath, waiting to see how Kenny would react.

He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug.

"I'm so proud of you! You have the McCormick hustle in your blood. And the fact that you're making money off of Donovan makes it even better!"

"Why are you on this side of the school, anyway?" Karen asked as she pulled away from the hug.

"I forgot to give you your lunch." He pulled a paper bag out of his backpack and handed it over.

She muttered a thank you as she stuffed it into her own backpack. "I'll be in the Art room after school instead of hanging in the bleachers, so don't go freaking out because I'm not there, okay?"

Kenny scoffed. "I wouldn't freak out."

Karen shot him a knowing look.

"Alright fine, I would. I'm sorry I can be so protective. I'll meet you by the truck after practice then, okay?"

Karen agreed and they went off in different directions once again.

Kenny loved that he had concert band first thing every morning. It was a great way to start the day and it let him get more experience with other percussive instruments. He was in such a good mood this morning that he had completely forgotten about the issue of Super School News that was dropping today. That is, until his phone vibrated in his pocket.

Jimmy: Hey Ken your interview won't be out until Wednesday

Sorry

Kenny stopped in his tracks. Was this real, or was Jimmy fucking with him?

Kenny: Srsly dude? Why the fuck not?

Kenny just wanted the interview out for everyone to see, so that this chapter could finally end.

Jimmy: We did the interview on Friday. SSN prints on Friday.

We couldn't do both

I need to reformat the entire issue tonight and print it tomorrow

I figured you'd rather the issue be postponed then not have it out until next week.

Did I figure correctly?

Kenny: Yes

But I fucking hate when you're right, Jimmy

Kenny sighed and threw his head back. He clasped his fingers together and placed his hands on top of his head. Couldn't something in his life go right for once?

When he turned into the hall that led to the band room, he saw Wendy making out with Stan. He rolled his eyes as he walked past them into the open doors. Heidi was full of shit. Wendy and Stan were clearly still going strong. There was a big difference between snuggling with a close friend on the band bus after a show and publicly making out with your long-term boyfriend. Heidi just wanted drama for drama's sake, but Kenny was sick and tired of drama.

"You're still sure you want to do this?" asked Karen.

"Yeah. I have to. It's the only way I can think of making it up to your brother."

"You could always try talking to him and just saying you're sorry."

Clyde laughed. "That's cute, Karen. Trust me, this is the only way. It's an eye for an eye. Public humiliation for public humiliation."

Karen sighed. She wanted to be supportive, but she could do without Clyde's condescending tone.

"Okay then. Here we go."

Kenny and Tweek stood in the lunch line. Kenny never bought anything, but he didn't feel like sitting alone at the table until his friends had their food, so he tagged along. The conversation was about this week's Homecoming game and predictions of how many alumni were going to get completely trashed this year and stumble onto the field during half-time. Kenny and Tweek made a bet that this year would beat last year's record of ten.

Their ears perked up at the sound of music starting to play in the cafeteria. It was louder than a ringtone, but still hard to hear over the din of students. They shared a confused look.

"What is that?" asked Kenny.

"Hey hey...Bye! Bye! Bye!"

They noticed all of the students in the main part of the cafeteria turn to look at the exit. Everyone in the lunch line pushed out to see what the commotion was all about.

Kenny's eyes widened. His sister was holding a bluetooth speaker high above her head as she walked toward the center of the room. A few feet behind her, Clyde followed. His letterman jacket was buttoned up tight and his head was held up high.

"What the fuck is going on right now? Did you know about this?" asked Tweek.

"Fuck no! Donovan had better not coerced her into doing this...this...whatever this is!"

Karen stopped at a table in the center of the room. She used one hand to swat away the students who had claimed the table. They scooted their chairs away from the table, confused, but somehow entranced by this odd display.

When Clyde reached the table, he leapt up onto it, standing tall and looking out at all of the eyeballs watching his every move. This was utterly terrifying. He kept his chest pushed out and his shoulders pulled back to convince everyone that he was confident and not wanting to cry. This was it. The big moment of truth.

The music swelled into the chorus as he quickly unbuttoned his jacket. He pulled it open with gusto, revealing a t-shirt that said "Boy Bi" on it in black letters over stripes of magenta, purple, and royal blue.

"Park County High! My name is Clyde Donovan, and I am bisexual!"

"Might sound crazy, but it ain't no lie, baby bye bye bye," the chorus finished.

Students began to mutter to each other, partially drowning out the music.

"Oh my god. Is this reality? Is this really happening right now?" asked Kenny.

"Hmm. I wonder where he got that shirt. I could use one," mused Tweek.

"Tweek, no." Kenny shook his head.

"And now that I have your attention," Clyde continued loudly, "I need to come clean about something I did. Something horrible. I'm the one who posted the fliers about Kenny McCormick giving a student STD. I'm the one who started that awful rumor. It was total bullshit. He didn't give anyone an STD. I lied, and I'm sorry for misleading everyone."

Tweek looked at Kenny. Kenny's face was tense, like at the shop yesterday, but there was also a sadness underneath that hadn't been there before.

"You okay, dude?" asked Tweek.

Kenny took a deep breath. He turned to Tweek with a smile. "Yeah, I'm great. On an entirely unrelated note, wanna eat lunch in the band room?"

Tweek saw through Kenny's smile. He nodded. "Yeah, let's get the fuck out of here. It's already becoming a zoo."

Tweek swiped a bagel in all the commotion and stuffed it under his shirt. The two of them escaped the cafeteria as the other student's voices began to completely drown out the music. As he walked out the door, Kenny looked back over his shoulder. His eyes locked with Clyde's for a brief moment before the door closed behind him.

"So was it his idea or yours?"

Karen turned to stare out the window, knowing full well that Kenny was giving her frequent quick glances while driving. She could feel his rarely used, but extremely powerful judgmental stare on her back.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"You damn well know what I mean."

"Does it really matter whose idea it was?"

"Yes," said Kenny. "Because if it was your idea, then they were just empty words. If it was his idea...I might believe that he was actually being sincere."

"My idea was for him to just apologize to you like a normal person. His idea was to make you guys even. 'An eye for an eye', he said. He felt that by making a big scene and admitting to half the school what he did, it would clear your name and publicly humiliate himself at the same time."

"I see."

"He originally asked me to walk behind him ringing a bell and yelling out 'shame!', but I told him that was a bit much, so he asked me to carry the speaker instead. He dubbed me DJ Smallfry."

Kenny snorted in spite of himself. "I'm so calling you that now."

Karen rolled her eyes. She looked back out the window, watching the trees whiz by. She wondered if she should tell Kenny that Clyde had told her about the bet. When he'd told her, she knew immediately that Kenny would have assumed that he had an advantage because he was pan and Clyde was straight. Clyde realizing that he was bi must have irked Kenny. His recent anger made so much more sense now.

"Football Star Clyde Donovan Comes Out as Bisexual!"

A look of abject horror spread across Kenny's face as he stared at the headline. He froze and barely moved for an entire minute, making Craig worried.

"Hey dude, you okay?"

Kenny blinked. "Craig. Craig, what the fuck am I looking at right now?"

"Uh...you're looking at my dumbass best friend standing on a lunch table wearing a surprisingly fabulous shirt."

"Why? Why Craig? Why is Donovan on the front page? Where is my goddamn interview?"

Kenny stared straight ahead at the newest issue of Super School News—his eyes unblinking. Craig found it creepy, so he busied himself with flipping through the issue, hoping to find the interview.

"Yeah, okay, so I don't know why it's not on the front page, but your interview is here on page six. It looks good, though."

Kenny closed his eyes and took a slow deep breath. "It doesn't do me any good if it's not on the front page because not enough people actually read the damn school newspaper."

Kenny grabbed a copy of the paper and crumbled it in his fist as he stormed off—to where, Craig knew not. Craig stuffed his own copy into his backpack and headed for his locker. How he longed for the boring days of junior year.

Jimmy was expecting Kenny. He heard Kenny's boots stomping across the room at the beginning of English and didn't bother to look up. Kenny held up the crumpled paper and was about to slap it down on the desk when Jimmy spoke up.

"Yeah, I kn-know," he said.

"What the fuck, Jimmy? Seriously. What. The. Fuck?"

Jimmy slowly looked up at Kenny. Kenny's anger quickly melted away when he saw how tired Jimmy looked.

"Ken...I've been up all ni-night trying to get this issue out. I'm sorry that something n-new happened that caught people's attention, I really am. The interview is in the issue like I promised, but...that rumor is old n-n-news, dude. No one cares anymore. This tea is cold now that there's a new fresh pot. It's like American politics—people f-forget what bullshit happened last week as long as there's some new bullshit to fo-focus on this week."

Jimmy yawned and smacked his face with his hand. "F-f-fuck, I need another Redbull. Heart p-palpi-palpit-t-tations be damned."

Kenny muttered a barely intelligible 'okay sorry' before slinking off to his desk. He was miffed that Clyde screwed up his plans yet again...but he also started thinking about how maybe Clyde's dumbassery helped. Jimmy was right—no one was talking about the STD rumor. All Kenny had heard in the halls so far today was 'did you hear that Clyde's bi?' and several vague biphobic or homophobic comments. Kenny hadn't gotten any disgusted looks from anyone, and the same people who were calling him out last week were now seeking his opinion on Donovan coming out. It seems that Clyde's plan to make Kenny and him even worked out.

Kenny felt reluctantly appreciative of Clyde—and he hated it.

This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Clyde could feel the eyes focused on him as he walked through the halls all day, and it was obvious when people would quickly look away as soon as he made eye contact with them. That would have been fine if the murmuring under their breath had been about how he got the whole school involved in a fictional scandal, but that is not what the students were talking about.

"Did you hear? He got up in front of the whole cafeteria and said he was bi."

"Bro, do you think he's been staring at our asses in the shower after gym this whole time?"

"I could never date a bisexual guy. I don't think it's even a real thing. You know in a month he'll finally just come out as gay."

His plan had been to get the entire school's attention on him instead of Kenny, but not like this. Apparently the appetizer had been so delicious that no one bothered with the main course. He could just picture Kenny's face, pissed off and ripping into him for 'being so full of himself that he had to make his new-found sexuality the talk of the school'. That's certainly what it looked like if the latest edition of Super School News was any indicator.

His friends weren't making things much better either. Half the football team was on top of him as soon as the whistle was blown for break.

"Dude, have you, like, actually been with a guy?"

"Yeah, what's it like? Having a dick in your ass hurts, right? I bet it hurts."

"You might be bisexual, but I'm trisexual cause I'll try anything once!"

Clyde wasn't sure where to begin with answering these asinine questions. Every time he tried to open his mouth, another player interrupted with a new question. Thankfully, the team student manager pushed through to save him.

"'Ey! Get outta here, you guys!" ordered Cartman. "Go drink some water and stretch. Let the man breathe!"

"Thanks, Cartman," said Clyde.

"Of course. I have to protect the team's assets, after all. You coming out was a genius publicity move. Diversity in sexual orientation is really hot right now. I have a couple irons in the fire, interviews and sponsorships and shit. I hope you're ready to come out a dozen more times!"

Clyde's face fell as Cartman spoke. "Yeah, no. I don't want to do any of that."

"Okay, well I tried to be diplomatic, but you don't actually have a choice in the matter," said Cartman. "I own you and this team, so you have to do as I say."

Token and Stan walked over to join the conversation.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Cartman, you don't own the team," said Token. "You're just the student manager. And lay off of Clyde, dude. He exposed a piece of himself yesterday, and that can take a lot out of a person. You don't want to stress him out before his first game back from injury, do you?"

"Oh my god. I didn't think of that. I gotta go."

Cartman scuttled off to annoy some of the underclassmen instead.

Token slowly shook his head. "You ever wonder how someone like him even exists?"

"I'm not even sure how I exist right now. I didn't expect the reaction to be...this," said Clyde.

"Well, if it's worth anything, I'm proud of you. You're much braver than I could ever be." Clyde noticed how sad Token's eyes looked, and immediately knew what he had meant. "What about you, Stan? You're being awfully quiet over there."

Stan stared at the empty plastic cup in his hand, deep in thought. "I dunno. I guess… I guess I didn't realize that was a thing. Liking both guys and girls. Like that that was an option for guys. I knew girls could like both and it wouldn't be weird. But like...who knew it was okay for a guy to be bi…?"

Clyde sighed. "Me being bi wasn't even supposed to matter. I just wanted everyone to know I started the rumor about Kenny."

"What rumor?" asked Cartman, returning to the conversation.

"The one from the other week. About him giving an STD to another student?"

Token and Cartman looked at each other, confused.

"I'm drawing a blank here, friend," said Cartman. "Are you sure you didn't dream about it?"

Clyde stared in disbelief. Was he going crazy? Was Cartman just fucking with him? Was everyone so fickle that any new juicy piece of gossip erased the previous one from memory? What about Token? He had to remember!

"You know, that does sound familiar," said Token. "But dude, that happened so long ago, I barely remember."

"It was two weeks ago…" Clyde muttered.

He rubbed the back of his neck and turned to look over his shoulder at the band practice field. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise that no one seemed to remember the rumor in the first place. He just hoped that Kenny noticed and that they were once again on an even playing field.

"Hey! Earth to K!"

Kenny quickly looked forward. He was almost surprised to see Tweek standing in front of him, snapping his fingers. He had felt a burning in his ears and had looked over at the football field to see Clyde gawking at him just moments earlier.

"These shoulders aren't going to massage themselves, dude," Tweek laughed as he turned back around.

Right. Mr. Bunting had called for a break, and everyone had decided to do an impromptu massage train. Kenny quickly glanced around the practice field at the other sections. His eyes stopped on the trumpets, where he noticed that Wendy had joined in the section's massage train and was currently getting a little handsy with Kyle. It wasn't sexual per se, but generally speaking, band massages stayed at the shoulders only. Wendy was working out some knots in Kyle's lower back, much to his enjoyment if his face was an indicator. Still, the massage was not indicative of romantic feelings. Friends totally give friends deep tissue massages all the time.

While Kenny was locking up the drum shed after practice, he felt a presence behind him.

"You saw it too, didn't you?"

Kenny turned around to find Heidi, looking back and forth like she was afraid she'd get caught.

"Saw what?" he asked.

"I saw you watching Wendy and Kyle during the massage train! You can't tell me that's not suspicious!"

They walked together toward their cars as they continued.

"What was suspicious about it? They weren't grinding on each other. They weren't making out. They weren't groping one another. It was just a massage."

"That was awfully intimate for a band massage," said Heidi.

"Intimate can apply to friendships. It doesn't necessarily mean romantic or sexual vibes. I have an intimate friendship with Tweek. You have an intimate friendship with Sally. Wendy has an intimate friendship with Kyle. It's fine."

They finally reached Kenny's truck. Heidi pulled out her phone while he got in and turned over the engine.

"Someone should really let Stan know about this, Kenny."

Kenny leaned out his truck window. "Just leave it alone, Heidi. It's none of our business."

As Kenny drove away, Heidi was left alone with her phone. She pulled up the picture of Kyle and Wendy on the bus. She bit her lip as her finger hovered over the send button.

The annual Park County High School Homecoming parade was a big deal. It had no right to be, but it was. Most of the adults living in the area had gone to Park County High, and they used homecoming as an opportunity to get together, get shitfaced, and reminisce about "the good ol' times".

It was a short parade, only going for about a mile up main street until they reached the school. It consisted of the marching band leading the way—playing the school fight song on repeat, the cheerleaders following behind, and then a couple trucks pulling floats covered in green and silver streamers. On top of the floats, the four dozen football players who made up the Bulls crowded together. The drunken adults whooped and hollered at the students as they passed by, and then followed them through the streets like they were rats following the Pied Piper.

Stan had put it best last year when he said, "Look, if it's the only way that our parents don't end up dead in a ditch somewhere, I guess it's cool that they follow us."

When the parade finally reached the school, a stack of wooden pallets greeted them in the center of the football field. It stood about fifteen feet tall and looked fairly impressive as it was, but it was going to look even more impressive once it was set on fire.

A small platform was set up on the sideline at the fifty yard marker. The football team swarmed the stage, followed by the cheerleaders, and the marching band took the outer circle. Mr. McKay climbed up onto the stage first to give a speech on the importance of Homecoming, the importance of school pride, and the importance of kicking Platte Valley's ass the following night. It fired up the students, but it whipped up the inebriated alumni into a foaming lather. The marching band then played the fight song once more, and afterward, the cheerleaders led everyone in a cheer they wrote especially for Homecoming. Finally, before the bonfire was to be lit, the three senior co-captains jumped up onto the stage to lead their own cheers.

Stan and Token's went without a hitch, but then it was Clyde's turn. He was to call out the letters to spell Park County, and the crowd was to repeat them back. It should have been one of the easiest things Clyde ever had to do in his life. However, like everything that had happened this week, it didn't go as he'd planned.

"Gimme a C!" "C!"

"Gimme an O!" "O!"

"Gimme a W!"

The crowd murmured with confusion and sputtered laughter for a moment while Clyde stared wide-eyed and horrified. Then, a single rim shot rang out.

The crowd burst into laughter while turning toward the source of the sound. Kenny held up his drum sticks and shrugged with a big grin on his face. His eyes were focused on Clyde's reaction. Clyde stared right back at him. His mouth was smiling like he was in on the joke, but his eyes were full of venom. Kenny felt satisfied.

"Sorry everyone!" Clyde laughed, trying to get the crowd back on his side. "The team doesn't use me for my brains, right?"

The crowd responded well, and Clyde tried again—this time successfully spelling County. When he was finished, he took a bow to applause and laughter. To end the evening, Mr. McKay invited everyone to stay for the bonfire, but encouraged the students to keep the alumni at least thirty feet away from the fire, lest they have a repeat of last year's tragic deaths.

Clyde waved goodbye to some of his fellow players who were going out for food. As much as he badly wanted a chili cheese dog and waffle fries, he knew that he really needed to get home and get to bed. Tomorrow was his first game since the injury, and he wanted to be well-rested. He also wanted to get up a little earlier than normal to begin stretching and warming-up his knee.

As he approached E Honda and took his keys out of his jacket pocket, an unfamiliar car pulled up behind him. Two guys in Platte Valley Broncos jackets emerged while a second car pulled up on the right, essentially boxing him in.

His heart began to race.

"Hey, Donovan!" the first guy yelled out. "Heard about your knee, bro. You'd better take care of it tomorrow night. Wouldn't want someone to take it out again."

"Nah bro, you wouldn't have to kick his ass to take out his knee. Word gets around fast. I hear you like dick, Donovan. Well lucky for you, I got a big dick over here you can suck right now." The second guy cupped his groin and lifted as he spoke.

"Yeah, just make sure you don't fuck up your knee again while you're dropping down on it!" said a third.

"Wait, is that you, Smith?" Clyde squinted his eyes, trying to figure out who the other players were. "Sorry, you're just so pale and pasty that I wasn't sure if it was you or a ghost."

"Oh, you got jokes, Donovan? You won't be joking when you go down tomorrow. First, when I go for your knee on the field, and then later when you're choking on my cock like the little queer bitch that you are."

The Platte Valley players were now only a couple of feet away. Clyde's heart was racing. He kept his chest out and shoulders back, trying to look brave, but he could feel the familiar warm tingle around his eyes as he tried to hold back tears.

"HEY!"

Clyde watched as the visiting players all turned to see who was interrupting them. Clyde didn't dare turn to look. He wanted to make sure his eyes were on his would-be attackers at all times.

"You guys have a problem here?"

Clyde recognized Kenny's voice. He quickly glanced to his side and saw Kenny standing next to him, arms crossed. Clyde knew from personal experience how intimidating he could be, despite being several inches shorter than the jocks around him.

"Who the fuck are you, blondey?" asked the first player.

"I'm the guy who's going to shove my drumsticks up your ass if you don't get back in your shitty cars and leave immediately. "

The players shared a look and nodded.

"You're lucky your boyfriend showed up, Donovan. You won't be so lucky tomorrow night."

"Let's get outta here. I don't wanna see two dudes making out."

Their car doors slammed shut and they sped away, peeling out of the parking lot.

Clyde closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He hadn't realized that he had been breathing so shallowly this whole time.

"You okay?" asked Kenny.

Clyde opened his eyes, but kept them down. He didn't want Kenny to see the tears welling up. "Why did you save me?"

Kenny dropped his arms and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Because homophobic, biphobic douchebags like them piss me the fuck off. Like, piss me off more than you."

"Thank you," muttered Clyde. "But also fuck you for embarrassing me tonight." He sniffled and looked up at Kenny. "You don't think I felt stupid enough? I know how everyone already sees me as the dumb jock stereotype. I get nervous in front of a crowd and fuck up once, and you have the audacity to make that mistake even more humiliating?"

"Wow, audacity is a big word for you, I'm so proud."

Clyde shot Kenny a look that could kill. Kenny held up his hands.

"Besides," Kenny continued, "according to my sister, you have a humiliation kink or something, so I thought you would've loved it."

"What?! No! Why would she say something like that?!" Clyde's rosy cheeks glowed under the parking lot lights.

"Dude, I'm just fucking with you. All she told me was that your little public humiliation stunt the other day was all your idea. That you were trying to get the negative attention off of me and on to you."

Clyde sighed and rubbed his jacket sleeve across his eyes. "Yeah…. sorry it didn't turn out the way I had intended. My sexuality was not supposed to be the highlight."

"Well...no one seems to remember there was ever a rumor about me in the first place, so I guess it worked out. So...thank you for that."

Clyde shifted his weight from side to side. He subconsciously started to pick at his left thumbnail.

"Yeah...uh...so I've been thinking about the rumor a lot the past few days and...and I'm sorry for all of it. Instead of stepping up my game, I tried to tear down yours. I'm no better than Smith back there threatening to fuck up my knee again."

"Nah, 's okay. You suck, but you don't suck nearly as much as that jackass."

Clyde cracked a smile, and, in spite of everything that had happened that night, laughed. Kenny couldn't help but laugh alongside him. A temporary ceasefire in the chilly October night air.

"You know...to be honest, I probably would've done something similar if I'd been in your position," Kenny continued once they'd caught their breath. "But you fucked up here, cause now I know not to take you so lightly. You might be in the lead now, Donovan, but watch your back cause—"

Clyde's ringtone interrupted Kenny. Clyde pulled it out of his jacket pocket.

"It's Stan," said Clyde. He swiped and answered the call. "Woah, woah, slow down, Stan! What's going on?"

Clyde's eyes widened. He locked eyes with Kenny as he pulled his phone down against his chest.

"Stan just broke up with Wendy."