08 - Drink Until You Drop!


"You!"

Hearing that mysogynist yell out in pain first thing in the morning was music to my ears. I found myself skipping as I left him chained to the table.

Ah. Today is gonna be a good day.

"I see you're having fun, oujo-san."

I looked towards the source of the voice, Hijikata-san then at Yamazaki-san. It seemed that they had both been waiting for me.

"What's up with Grumpy?" I nudged Yamazaki-san.

The lines between Hijikata-san's forehead drew closer at my comment.

"Sorry. Sorry. Vice-Commander, how may this humble servant be of help to you?" I groveled, hoping to appease his anger.

"I need you to head to Kabuki-cho a.s.a.p. We need intel on one of Edo's most wanted list, Kuraba Touma. He's at Snack Smile and they're short-staffed at the moment."

"Uh-uh-uh. Say no more. Vice-Commander. I get it. You need me to go undercover and catch the guy when he's the most vulnerable. One domineering hostess coming right up."

I quickly turned around and barely took one step before the collar of my uniform was grabbed.

"Not so fast, oujo-san. You're new to this. Just take it easy. I just need you to get him drunk enough so he'll spill the address where his weapons and drugs are exchanged next. I'll lead Squad One to the meeting place and arrest the whole gang."

I groaned. It was a lot less exciting than I originally thought, but at least, it was better than hanging around here, especially with the mysogynist seeking revenge on my head.

"Alright. Alright. Still one domineering hostess coming right up though."

Hijikata-san shook his head in disbelief.

"You're really shameless."

"I was born that way." I winked.

He shook his head again, then stretched out his hand. I blinked twice, trying to feign innocence, but he only tilted his head knowingly.

"Tch."I reluctantly handed over the key from my bosom and pouted.

So much for hoping he wouldn't notice.

"Be careful, oujo-san." I felt him pat my head. He just couldn't resist messing up my hair before walking away.

What an annoying guy.


As soon as I spotted the target in Snack Smile, I let myself ease into my role. He already had a few drinks so he was quite tipsy.

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I hugged the target's arm and seduced him with all my might, "Oji-sama~ Wanna play with an HS girl?"

The target eagerly nodded his head.

What scum.

"Oji-chan~ You have lots of money right? Can you buy Dom Perignon for me?" I pouted.

"Sure. Sure. I want one bottle of Dom Perignon!" He ordered.

"Eh?!" I was shocked. "Only one? I think you can easily afford more than that, oji-chan~" I trailed two fingers up his arm.

"Alright. Order as many as you want, oujo-chan~"

I smirked.

"Bring a hundred bottles of Dom Perignon for our dear customer! It's his birthday!" I cheered. "You know what this means ladies~"

"Champagne tower!" All of the hostesses yelled back.

I ignored the frozen state of my "beloved" customer as he tried to calculate his bill. I know the mission was to get the address of the next exchange of illegal goods, but I just couldn't resist swindling about 20 million yen from this poor sucker.

With the wine glasses stacked upright onto each other like a pyramid, I stood behind the tower and started to pour the first bottle of Dom Perignon at the topmost glass, watching the liquid overflow and pass onto the cups below.

"Drink! Souko-chan! Drink!" They cheered.

Since I didn't feel like ruining the mood, I shrugged my shoulders.

Why not?

I quickly emptied the first glass and the next thing I knew, my vision blurred and I felt weightless…just like I was falling. Then, everything turned black.


I winced from the sudden increase in light. Forcing my eyes open, I realize this wasn't my usual bedroom in the mansion. I was in a hospital bed with a matching hospital gown and an IV drip attached to me. Aneue was standing by the window after parting the curtains to let the sunlight in.

"Sou-chan! Sou-chan!" As soon as aneue spotted my eyes open, she ran to my side, and held my head in her arms.

"Ane-Aneue! You're suffocating me. I can't breathe."

"Ah. Sorry, Sou-chan." I felt her release her iron grip and settle by a seat beside me.

"Umm. Aneue. What happened last night?"

"Last night?! I should be asking you that! You drank a cup of alcohol and passed out. What were you thinking?!"

I laughed awkwardly, trying to ease the tense mood.

"I see. Well, that was the first time I had alcohol so I didn't know I had such low tolerance." I tried to make up a plausible excuse before lowereing my head. "I'm sorry aneue."

"I won't ask you what you were doing last night. I'm assuming it's work-related. But you have to stick to your promise and take better care of yourself. Don't make me worry like that. I-I thought I lost you last night."

"But hey, I passed out and didn't hit my head on anything. That's a good sign."

"That's only because a nice officer managed to catch you in time."

My eyes lit up.

Could he be one of our fiancés?

"Wait. Which officer?"

Before aneue could answer, the door to my hospital room opened.

"Nice to see you so lively, Okita-kun."

I didn't even need to turn around to identify the owner of that husky voice.

"Why Hijikata-san, you have such wonderful timing. Can't you see you're disturbing our sister bonding time?"

I glared at him.

"Sou-chan. That's not the way I taught you to speak to your elders." I heard aneue reprimand me.

"Oh. It's alright, Mitsuba-san." He paused.

"Thank you for taking care of my eccentric imouto." Aneue responded.

This sight was strange. Aneue often told her to look at others' eyes when speaking to them, but even she was not looking directly at Hijikata-san's eyes.

Hold on. Is that also a tinge of red in her cheeks?

"I'm quite used to Okita-kun's commentary by now. Wouldn't be Okita-kun without her remarks." Hijikata-san added, placing a basket of fruits by the small table beside me.

Ah. Hold on a sec. It wasn't just her cheeks that were red. It was her whole face.

I turned away, but I still felt aneue's glare on my back. Yikes. I was in for some tough etiquette lessons when I come home. Maybe I should fake an illness so I won't have to go home anytime soon?

I really need to change his name to Hijibaka. He just can't read the mood.

"Hijiba-I mean Hijikata-san, is there something you need from me?" I tried changing the topic.

"I wanted to ask about last night." He started.

As if on cue, aneue excused herself from the room.

"I know you're still recovering so I'll get straight to the point. Did you get any info out of Kuraba last night?"

Crap. I knew he'd ask that.

"Umm." I hesitated. "What if I said no?"

He sighed.

"Figures. Kuraba's gone into hiding. I think he found out you were undercover. Especially after your little stunt. What kind of hostess can't even drink? More importantly, you couldn't even handle alcohol and yet you still drank."

He shook his head.

"This was my fault. I rushed getting you onto the field when you weren't fully prepared. You're off the case. Just focus on recovering. I'll send Yamazaki over to see how you're doing."

I heard the door shut after he left, then plopped back down onto the bed.

My first case and I blew it.

"There's only one way to fix this..."

I'll get that b*stard Kuraba myself.


A/N: Fun fact, guys~ So I googled (haphazardly) how much the average (75cl) bottle of the Dom Perignon brand is and found out that one bottle = 1 475 Euros or 200 thousand yen…so 100 bottles is about 20 million yen. Dude just got ripped off so bad.

I wanted Sougo to have low alcohol tolerance just like in the anime~

This chapter's Alternative Title: Playing Robin Hood…err…Robbing the Hood

And, is it just me or is every chapter getting weirder and weirder? It might seem like I'm talking non-sense, but we're getting closer to what I call '' the trigger event '', where everything turns 180 degrees. It'll be awhile till I write it though. Sorry TT_TT