He was always like a father to her. He was always there to support her. He was always there for a laugh. She was always able to trust him with anything no matter how big or small. She loved him. He loved her. In their traditional but nontraditional roles.
Still he wasn't her father. He was nothing to her. No blood was shared. He hated the fact as she grew into a woman. More beautiful each passing day he was noticing that beauty. Not just her looks more so her mind. Her sass and confidence. She was the type of woman he liked to pursue. He wanted to make his.
There are days he catches her staring. The days she thinks his passing touch wasn't on accident. He thinks of her actual father (and his best friend). If he knew the thoughts he had. The dreams he woke up from with soaked sheets. He'd be a dead man. If the roles were reversed he'd do the killing.
He knows no matter what it's not to be. Can't be. Still that pain rips him. He's tired of being the loser. He knows she's tired of the same role. Most of the time he swallows down the pain and keeps counting to days she'll no longer be under the same roof with him. Than there are days the pain becomes too strong.
"Joey? What's wrong?!" He shock his head embarrassed his tears had been caught.
"Nothing Stef. Just thinking of the cruelty of life." She nods. sitting beside him cheek resting on his shoulder. He holds back a shudder.
"Maybe if you talk about it you'll feel better?"
"Only if it were possible for you to be exactly who you are while at the same moment being someone completely new."
"I wish I could. You deser…"
"No. Let's not go there. Don't say the words." All these years he knows she's on the same wave length as him. He needed to keep pretending no matter how weak the illusion was it was in fact still fantasy.
"Ok. But I do love you Joey."
"Maybe in another life Stephanie."