A/N: Just a little one shot I wrote based on 7x08, so there are spoilers ahead. This was possibly one of the saddest scenes Olivia and Fitz have ever had together, in my opinion... But it gave me hope for them. Call me an optimist, but I've not given up on their love just yet. I've put an M rating on it but this one is very mild and more for future one shots I hope to write and add to this collection. Anyway, let me know your thoughts!
Just Tonight
The last person Fitz had expected to show up at the door of his hotel room was Olivia Pope, looking more broken and lost than he'd ever seen her before.
But here she was.
His brows drew together as he took in the sight of her, deep concern coloring his expression and filling him with a cavernous need to wrap her in his arms and never let her go again. But he couldn't, especially not after their encounter a few days previously, when he'd offered his condolences and wanted nothing more than to comfort her, but she'd turned around and crushed any hope he had left for her, before tearing the bottle of scotch out of his hands and slamming the door in his face. He'd known then she was beyond help; that any attempt he'd made to come back and 'save' her was futile.
Still, Fitz wasn't about to do the same to Olivia as she had done to him days ago. Without breathing a word, he moved aside. She seemed to hesitate for a few seconds, like she didn't know what she was doing there, but then she tentatively stepped into the room. She angled herself so that she was facing slightly away from him, still avoiding his gaze as she had been doing since the moment she'd arrived.
He closed the door and watched her for a moment, keeping a careful distance between them. He could hear her take trembling breaths and knew she was fighting to keep her emotions on lockdown.
"Do you wanna talk?" He asked gently and she shook her head in lieu of a verbal response.
"You wanna sit?" He tried once more and she almost met his gaze, but something in her stopped her from doing so and she shook her head again.
Olivia inhaled an unsteady breath and Fitz could tell she was barely hanging on by a thread, ready to crack and shatter into a million pieces at any moment.
"Liv…" He started, but he was momentarily at a loss for words and didn't know how to finish.
She visibly struggled to keep herself from breaking down and then she gave in, pressing her forehead against his shoulder and as he rested his chin on top of her head, she buried her face in his chest. For a few seconds she just inhaled and exhaled shaky breaths; he felt her tremble weakly against him and without giving it much thought he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in closer and squeezing her tight to let her know he was going nowhere. His hands splayed out protectively on her body, keeping her steady as he gently rocked her from side to side.
"What do you need?" He asked her quietly. As she breathed unsteadily against him, he lifted a hand to stroke her hair, patiently waiting for an answer.
She eased back slightly and tilted her head up. Her voice was nothing but a feeble whisper. "Just tonight."
Fitz understood what Olivia was asking from him; they'd both come to one another for comfort sex before, but this… This was different. She met his gaze for a brief second, finally allowing him to see the unfathomable grief glazed over in her sad, dark eyes. He felt her pain the moment their eyes met; it caused him to physically ache right down to his core. He caressed her cheek with the back of his hand so delicately and then lowered his lips to hers, stilling them with a tender kiss.
And then, when he saw she wasn't fighting against him, he kissed her again. Her restraint was gone and her hands moved restlessly over his cheeks, down his chest as she fumbled to unbutton his shirt. He picked her up with ease and she gasped against his lips as he set her down on the desk. He took over, stripping himself out of his shirt and she unfastened her jacket. Their frantic kisses only stopped for a brief moment and then she pulled him back in, cupping his face as she pressed her lips to his.
Olivia allowed Fitz to undress her, his gentle hands peeled away her clothes until she was left naked before him and he leaned down, trailing kisses all over her newly bared skin. He noticed that he could count her ribs and he knew his concerns for her were valid, but he said nothing in the moment; it wasn't his place and she wasn't looking for a lecture about weight loss and healthy eating, she came to him wanting to forget. What it was that she needed to forget exactly, Fitz couldn't pinpoint. All he knew was that she was in way deeper than he could've anticipated when he'd left Vermont following a troubling conversation of deep concern with her father, of all people and it killed him to see her slipping further, allowing the darkness to consume her; now it was apparently taking its toll on her physically, too.
He was drawn out of his thoughts when she coaxed him up to meet her lips again. A tiny sob escaped her throat as he held her face, he felt hot tears wetting her cheeks and brushed them away with his thumbs. As he kissed her with everything he had, trying to make her forget whatever pain she was suffering, he was vaguely aware of her unbuckling his belt and tugging his pants and boxers down around his ankles. She broke off their kiss, wrapping her thighs snugly around his hips and he suppressed a groan.
"Please." It was just one word but it wasn't easy to hear the desperation in her voice.
Fitz kicked off his shoes and carefully stepped out of his discarded clothes, then carried Olivia to the bed. He laid her out beneath him on the mattress and reclaimed her lips in a kiss so delicate he felt her shiver as she tangled her fingers in his soft hair.
He took his time with her, choosing a much slower pace than what she wanted. He knew this kind of sex was what she truly needed; to understand that he was there and he was patient and he was going to love her even when she didn't believe she deserved it. He was going to love her even when she fought so desperately against him.
When he slowly pushed inside her, inch by agonizing inch, her hips bucked restlessly and he gently pinned her back down, hushing her with soft whispers until she relented and let him take care of her.
Olivia cried afterward.
Fitz had kissed her one final time and left her under the covers while he cleaned up in the bathroom. When he returned with a damp cloth to take care of her too, she was quietly sobbing, her whole body convulsing with uncontrollable tremors. It was clear she'd just barely managed to hold it together and the second she was alone she'd crumbled and completely fallen apart.
He did the only thing he thought may just help her a little; he pulled her into his arms. At first she struggled, bunching her fists up against his chest as she fought back weakly. Eventually, she gave into him, letting him hold her as she wept.
The truth was, Olivia could never hide from Fitz.
She'd been trying so hard to avoid him since he returned to D.C. because allowing him to see her, inevitably meant that he'd end up really seeing her. Even before his knowledge of her involvement in B613 had come to light, he'd felt her hesitance to let him anywhere near her. But now he could tell she couldn't keep up the façade of pretending she was fine without him; she wasn't. It didn't matter how many times she screamed in his face and blamed him for the destruction and tragedy she'd caused, she still needed him.
He cradled her in his arms for hours, whispering the occasional calming word in her ear and gently stroking her back, gradually soothing her heart-wrenching sobs until she was able to sleep. He knew that in the morning her guard would be back up and she'd pretend she was fine, that she wanted him out of her life and that she had every intention of making his time in D.C. hell until he left. But she could hurl all the vitriolic insults and act out of spite to make things difficult for him, he'd still be there. He'd walk through fire for her, move mountains for her, go to the ends of the earth for her because his love for her was truly the definition of unconditional.
Olivia stirred against Fitz's chest in the early hours of the morning, when the sun was just beginning to peek through the curtains. A look of hazy confusion and disorientation washed over her face as she inched back, but then upon seeing Fitz's face it was replaced with relief; she was safe in his arms. And then the realization came as the grief hit her so hard it caused fresh tears to form in her eyes. He waited for her walls to come back up and for her to push him away, gather her clothes and leave, but she didn't move from the protection of his embrace.
"Fitz…" She started softly, her voice barely a whisper.
"Tell me what you need, Liv." He insisted as he cupped her jaw, staring deeply into her glassy eyes with his soulful blue ones.
"I – I…" She stammered for a second, swallowing hard.
"It's okay, take your time." His words seemed to soothe her and he watched her breathe for a few seconds.
And then Olivia said the six words that Fitz had never expected to hear, but that he'd been hoping she'd say ever since he returned from Vermont.
"I need you to help me."