Review Time:

Rainbowkittyblossomwings - Thanks. I know now HOW I'm going to link things in a specific sense...glad you liked the Fuyuki chapter. I really have to say again it means a lot to me that you keep reading and leaving reviews! So I'll keep at it!

Chapter 17 - Kururu I

Sergeant-Major Kururu was the teammate no one wanted around.

Because well, he was sneaky and had no morals whatsoever. Most of his inventions always ended up backfiring horribly. And yet, the Sergeant always wanted his help.

"Make me a gizmo that scratches my back, Kururu…."
"Kukuku, whatever you say, Captain."

He prided himself on his intelligence. But the truth was he didn't care one way or the other about how the invasion turned out. If it happened, great. If not, great. He was more interested in making his own fun. That included torturing his eternal rival, Giroro. He loved making fun of the Corporal, twisting his weakness for Natsumi to use against him.

As for Dororo and Tamama? Eh, he could take them or leave them. But there was one teammate he couldn't understand.

"Uncle, I can scratch your back for you! Please?"
"Oh Mois! Sure, a couple of hours should do the trick."

The woman. Her kindness disgusted him. Her sunny attitude was poison to him. Why she was so willing to help the Captain with whatever stupid thing he wanted was hard to really get. Private Tamama was just as much of a brownnoser, but he had an inner darkness. Kururu respected that.

"Oh Kururu! Did you want me to do the same to you after Uncle?"

Angol Mois had no such thing. She was pure in every sense of the word. But her kind destroyed worlds. She was a walking contradiction! It drove the Sergeant-Major mad!

"Kuku….no, thank you."

He needed to understand her. So that meant he needed someone to blackmail.

He flashed the twisted smile the platoon had seen countless times before.

The Corporal.

XXXX

Something was fishy about Giroro. Well, more so than usual. So Kururu went to the simple task of bugging him, the perfect blackmailing device. Sometimes he'd bug his other teammates to learn their own embarrassing secrets, but they were so boring.

"Why doesn't anyone notice me?! I…" ("When is the Lance Corporal not being depressed?")

"One day, the Sarge's heart will be mine!" ("Kuku, the Private is so obvious it's painful.")

"How long can I keep lying to HQ? I mean, I haven't even conquered a country yet!" ("If they had brains Captain, they'd put me in charge, but I'm too lazy to do your work.)

No, Giroro was the one that entertained him the most. Which made him somewhat appealing in a way. Almost. So he checked his audio tapes, and he nearly wanted to burst out in laughter right there on the spot!

The Corporal was working with Momoka Nishizawa. That was the Pokopenian Tamama associated with. Kururu checked his files on her.

"Oh Fuyuki, I wish I had the courage to admit….my feelings….!"

Kururu clicked his tongue. Once again, the Corporal continued to be so predictable. Both of them coveted the Hinata siblings so of course they'd decide to work together. To be honest, Kururu didn't really care too much for them. But Natsumi made excellent curry and Fuyuki's naivety was amusing when it wasn't nauseating. So in that regard, they each had value.

"Those two will never get anywhere…..I wonder if I should help them…..hmm…."

Getting his attention was easy enough: removing his precious weapons from his tent outside. To Kururu, they were nothing more than hunks of scrap metal. Of course, he wasn't going to remove them himself.

"All done, Kururu!" Mois wiped the sweat from her forehead. "Does Giroro want to store any more of his things in here?"

"Kuku….no, that will be all." So easy to manipulate. I wonder if I could get her to level the city if I just used the right words. As a bonus, he even took Giroro's cat to pet in his lap.

"Well ok….I gotta go upstairs and finish Uncle's dishes. Hey, I know! Why don't I get you some lemonade?"

Kururu turned in his chair so he couldn't see her damned smiling face. "Why? Getting a drink for someone like me, kuku?"

"Well…..you work all the time in this lab, and there has to be a better way to reward you! Uncle should give you a reward!"

Oh will you stop it? You're making me ill. "…..you can go now."

"Okay!"

Even when being dismissed she has to be so positive!

Lucky for him it wasn't too long before Giroro raced downstairs. This brightened Kururu's mood considerably. "Kukuku….glad I got your attention~"

"Give me my weapons, Kururu, and maybe I'll keep some of your bones intact," Giroro snarled. "Aren't there more creative ways to piss me off?"

"Kuku…." Kururu pushed up his glasses. "You make it so easy." He watched Giroro practically burst into flames. "But no, I don't feel like annoying you today. I actually want to make a deal with you."

The aura faded. "…..me? Tch, what for?"

Here it comes! "I know about your little….alliance with Momoka, kuku."

"WHAT!" Like a cornered rat, Giroro thrashed around and around until he finally found the source of his bugging, in his star. "You little-"

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"Working with her, of all people? I thought you were serious about your love for Natsumi, but I guess not, kuku…."

Giroro glared at him. "Momoka's been a valuable ally thus far. We both have something in common…..not that a pest like you can understand love. So what's it gonna take, for you to be silent?"

"You don't want to tell the Captain? Kuku, how scandalous."

"No, I'm playing this by the book, and having Keroro in the middle would just ruin everything." Giroro got quite close. "You get involved, you're dead."

"Hmmmm…well…" Sergeant-Major spun some more in his chair and pretended to think. "I'll be silent, if you help me."

"Tch, blackmail, huh? A guinea pig for your experiments?" He quickly snatched the cat back (Kururu had no idea what her name even was), and it purred with content in his safe arms. "Just get it over with."

"Oh, nothing like that. If you claim to understand l….lo….that chilling word so well, then that makes you the perfect spy!"

"…..excuse me?"

XXX

Kururu watched his feed of Giroro flying off to find Mois that night. Although the Corporal was not going to give up so quietly. "Kuku, don't be a slacker now."

"I hate you so much. You said you wouldn't bug me!"

"I'm calling you, Corporal."

"Through a receiver you stuck into my brain! What's this about, anyway? You feel something for Mois?"

The question clearly disgusted Kururu, but he didn't outright deny it. "That woman….I don't understand her, she's always so cheery. It's…..maddening. I have to figure her out."

"I wish I could figure YOU out…." Giroro grumbled. Not too long later Kururu eventually heard Mois's saddened voice.

"Oh…..figures Uncle would send someone to get me…."

This was it. Kururu carefully raised his volume settings and began to transcribe the Angolian's words. She was upset about having to destroy Pokopen. She wanted Giroro's help in beating her toughest foe.

"Tch. So soft. How is she an Angolian?" But then something disrupted his fun.

"See a beeping device in my head?"

"Yeah! Did Kururu put that there?"

"Oh cr-" BOOM
The audio of Mois's attack blazed through Kururu's headphones, causing him to fly off and hit the wall. He moaned weakly.

KNOCK KNOCK

"Company….? Huh…." Saburo checked the clock. "Yep. There's only one alien that would show up this time of night." With a smiling face he opened the door for the zoned out frog. "Welcome!"

"Oh be quiet. My head is pounding."

There was one Pokopenian Kururu actually, dare he say, liked - the elusive radio host that was just as cryptic as him. Saburo was polite when he needed to be, but there was a lot that he kept from the prying eyes of the world….which Kururu respected.

"Hey, do you have any curry?" He asked as he plopped on his couch.

"Fresh out."

"Bah." Kururu turned on the TV. "Get me a soda, then."

Saburo ignored this request completely and sat down next to his "companion". It wasn't a traditional friendship, but he thought the alien was interesting. So that was enough in his book. "While you're here, maybe you can help me out with something."

"Ugh, do I have to?"
Immediately some photographs were plopped on the coffee table. Kururu took one look at them….before looking back at the TV.

"Aren't you going to ask what's up with them?"

"Why bother? You're not giving me random pictures of girls for no reason. You think they're aliens, don't you?"

"Obviously. What else could they be? They started a fanclub for me. So organized….they're so predictable."

Kururu grinned. Great minds thought alike. "So distract the leader while I get the details."

"Already done. There's a little contest going around…."

XXXXX

When he returned to the house, Kururu went back to his lab, finally able to be alone for a bit. (He'd have to try again with bugging Giroro). A few searches on the internet revealed the fan club Saburo was talking about.

"Hmmmm….rather gaudy looking website. I couldn't imagine what a website for ME would look like…." Kururu suddenly smiled. It'd have his face plastered all over, headphones and glasses of course. THEN maybe he'd be the most popular on Keron…. "ugh, such vanity is more of the Captain's game. Time to work. Click."

First, a map of Pokopen. The computer that originated the website wasn't too far. But if they were aliens that could assume the planet's life forms, taking them down would be….interesting.

"Now what? Guess I'll do some hacking. A click here, and a click there….!"

The Hinatas were fun targets, because they were often distracted by the antics of Keroro and the others. The best time for Kururu to get what he needed was in the middle of chaos.

"Hmph. Boring files as usual. Well hang on….I don't remember THIS phone signal from the archives. There's a voice mail! How old is this thing? Click."

"Hey honey, it's me. I'll be home soon, I just wanted to check the site! I think there's an amazing discovery to be had! Tell the kids Daddy loves them. Bye!"

"…."

Kururu replayed the voice mail two more times. For some reason, he saved the recording but deleted all the other files he accessed from Aki's hack.

"That woman is different from her children…..SHE'S just not predictable. I guess she kept that voice mail from…..hmmmmmm…come to think of it…computer, give me results for the Hinata father.

NO RESULTS FOUND

Of course. He was never named to the platoon, nor was his fate ever revealed.

Kururu hated not knowing things.

Time to attack the weakest link.

XXXXX

He waited outside his window for the time to strike. His mother mentioned something about a date? So Kururu peeked inside. "Kuku, you seem stressed."

"GAH!" Fuyuki fell out of his bed, where Kururu chuckled some more. "K-Kururu, why were you spying on me?!"

"Huh? I was bored, kuku," he lied. "You have a date with Momoka Nishizawa tomorrow? Better not be late."

"D-Don't eavesdrop on me!"

"Well, better you than Natsumi. I guess I'll head back to the lab….." he pretended to leave.

"WAIT!" Fuyuki stood up. "I don't usually do this, but I need to ask you a really big favor! You probably know what's out there, in the galaxy?"

You're so nice, Fuyuki, making this so easy. Tell me what I'm trying to figure out. Maybe I can use him to put pressure on Giroro. I'm so smart, kukuku "Depends, kuku." He wouldn't admit that Fuyuki's genuineness and unassuming nature made him a difficult person to exploit. "How about you do something for me, and we'll call it even?"

"Uh…..okay?"

"Good, good….now then….what are you trying to find? You think someone is trapped on some distant planet or something?" he hypothesized. Like your father?

"A man named…..H-Haru." Fuyuki swallowed. "Mom and Natsumi think I'm wrong, but I want to prove it for myself. I think my father…was kidnapped by aliens!"

Silence.

"Damn. If it's for your mother I can't really extort you or anything like that," Kururu sighed. "But if you really want my help, you'll help me get back at Giroro. He thinks he's so clever." I should thank him for filling my database. Haru Hinata….mysterious!

"The Corporal? What's wrong?"

Kururu grinned. "Well, Fuyuki, he has a total crush on your sister. And frankly, him denying it all the time is getting a little old if you ask me. So why don't you help me spread the word around? After all, Giroro works fantastically under pressure, kuku."

"I don't know….Giroro's my friend. If he wants to be with Natsumi, shouldn't he do it at his own pace? I'm not sure how Keronians court each other…."

"…excuse me? You don't mind having that oaf as a brother-in-law?"

"Heck no! He's cool! He's one of the greatest military minds on your planet! If he was with Natsumi…..well, I'd just know he'd always protect her. He'd protect our whole family."

Is he serious? Giroro is a hot-tempered oaf that only knows how to shoot. And yet, he admires him…and not me, the super genius? GAH I hate honest people! "OK, we'll be in touch. I'll hack into your phone so I'll always be able to reach you."

"I don't think that's necessary."

"Too late, I already did it an hour ago."

Armed with this new information, Kururu was giddy. He loved researching things, and now he could figure out the mystery of the lost Hinata father. Perhaps he could blackmail Natsumi for endless curry and footrubs with it. Not Aki, though.

"Hi Kururu!"

Damn her voice. Angol Mois was standing between him and the way into his lab, as she was painting some of Keroro's Gundams. However, there were noticeable bags under her eyes.

"You….what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm just polishing up Uncle's collection. He told me this afternoon and I totally spaced!"

Is she a moron? Sleep is more valuable than such trivial things. "You realize what time it is?" Kururu knew Mois wasn't too sharp to point out the irony.

"Ah, well….tomorrow brings more chores so-" Kururu yanked the toy from her hand. "Sergeant-Major, did you want to help me?"

CRACK

"No." Kururu casually dropped the broken halves of the toy. "You're such a doormat, Mois. Don't you have any kind of pride or self-respect?"
"You….you broke Uncle's toy…."

"If you care about the Captain that much, fix it then. Track down another one instead of talking to me if you have to. Or maybe…..you'd like to get angry at me?"

Mois sniffled.

No! That's not what you're supposed to do! And if she cries too loudly, the Hinatas will awaken. "Do it then! Whack me with your scepter. You're a being that incurs wraths on planets, so I should be trivial!"

"But…..y-y-you're U-Uncle's teammate…."

"So? I caused you misery. That deserves hate, in turn."

Mois stubbornly shook her head. Instead she went to pick up the broken toy….and she searched for the hot glue.

Why. You. Don't. Make. Sense?!

The annoyance persisted into the next morning, where it was at least tempered by Natsumi giving him some curry for breakfast. No sign of Mois telling on him, which was indeed a problem. Eventually his rival Giroro sat down next to the Captain. He prattled on about his new idea, which Kururu took the signal to grin.

Ah yes. That'll cheer me up!

"Mois, you look like you want to say something?" asked Fuyuki. "You're usually doing the Sar-…..er, I mean your chores right about now." Kururu glanced at the Angolian.

"Ohhh…..I guess I can't keep it a secret…." Mois took out the mysterious letter she had received and passed it to Natsumi. "Someone is going to visit me. Another Angolian, my cousin…..named Angol Fear."

"WHAT?!" the Hinatas shouted.

"No….she got wind of you living here?" Natsumi gripped the page and skimmed the lines. "Y-You can tell her to leave this world alone, right?"

"That's the problem! You see….maybe I am a little behind on my planet destroying quota. But if I don't do something, Fear will destroy this world instead!"

Kururu leaned back. Of course. There's always a cost. Just like the Captain can't delay the invasion indefinitely, neither can Mois with her goal. Perhaps this new Angolian will beat some logic into her…but wait….how she can learn if she's dead? How can I learn if she's dead?

"But it's okay, 'cuz Corporal Giroro will train me to victory!" she said in a total 180. The whole table looked over at Giroro, Kururu included.

"Um….that's right. She's the only counter we've got. I can handle this mission. Okay…Natsumi?"

"Oh, you're such a lifesaver Giroro! But Mois, it doesn't HAVE to result in a battle that risks the planet itself, right? Can't you talk it out?"

Mois shook her head. "My cousin's more terrifying than I am. Even I'm scared of her!"

"That's it!" Keroro banged the table. "Time for a platoon meeting, STAT!"

"Well, gentlemen, that's the situation. Mois's cousin is coming to town, and if Mois isn't ready, we're pretty much toast."

Tamama and Dororo gasped at the new development.

"Kukuku…..technically, Captain, we can just leave the planet until it's all over." Kururu chuckled.

"Oh good point! What the heck am I worried about?"

Giroro unleashed a flurry of bullets at him. "If the planet is destroyed, we fail the mission! The INVASION, REMEMBER?!"

"owowowowowowowSTOP! Okay, okay, do you have any ideas?"

"Yeah. I can train Mois so you don't have to worry about it. Why don't you share this plan of yours?"

"Eh? How long do we have?"

Dororo held up Mois's letter. "She doesn't specify. It's a warning."

"Is it enough time to conquer the planet?" Tamama chimed in. "I call taking over China for those sweet noodles!"

Giroro ignored Tamama. "I'll make it work. So then, Keroro? Maybe you should do the plan without me, so I can focus on Mois."
The Private was on board. "Yeah, Giroro can take her faaaaaaar away!"

"No! This only means we just have to try harder to make this plan work in the meantime! Dororo, why don't you start us off?"

"M…..Me?"

"Yeah!"

Touched, Dororo had to wipe his eyes with a hanky…..then blow his nose rather loudly…..before cleaning his throat and standing at the front of the room.
"The plan is simple….we set up a matchmaking service for Pokopen!"

Kuku….we tried that, Captain. Giroro even said as much.

"I don't remember," said Keroro rather uncaringly. "But think about it, Corporal. Why is there war and famine in the world?"

"Because of geopolitical differences and improper handling of natural resources-
"THAT'S RIGHT! People are cranky because they can't get married. So if we start small, work our way up, we'll make a couple out of every person. Kururu, do the math."

"Kukuku….well, currently, there exists 7,291,194,190 people on this planet, give or take 15 or so million, kuku."

"Seee? And my second grade math skills tell me that number is divisible by two, so over 3 billion couples are possible!"

"You realize some of these people are babies, right? Give or take several million?"

"Oh hush. Mois, what do you think?"

The Angolian was sitting in the corner, thinking up a list of excuses she could say to her cousin and probably fail to change her mind. "I love it, Uncle! Who should we do first?"

Hmph. She bounces back so easily. Do I have to destroy her spirit to make her comprehensible?

"Easy, the Hinata family," Keroro replied.
"You want her to get suspicious? Try someone else," Giroro said, no doubt to protect Natsumi.

"Oh fine, I'm sure somebody at their school would bite. Kururu! Set up the network!"

XXXX

Setting up the network only took about 3 minutes. So while the others were making ads, Kururu was in the mood to torment the frog Fuyuki apparently admired. He waited for him to walk in.

"Kuku, Momoka is such an amateur, wouldn't you say?"

"Huh?"

"Click!"

"Relax. I took the heat off Natsumi and Fuyuki. Hopefully this plan will target regular kids and go from there. If they're paired up with others, that's less time we can get for intel. You still set for after school?"

"Yeah…..maybe I should warn Fuyuki…."

"No soldier, it's too risky. In fact, if Fuyuki tells Keroro about his day, it'll only give him ideas."

"Okay…..t-talk to you soon!"

"O-Oh come ON! You hacked me that fast?!"

Kururu grinned.. "Relax, Corporal, I'm on your side. You stand by that woman's side and report everything she does, and I won't spill the beans."

"I'm warning you, Kururu, don't get in the middle of this!"

"Too late for that, kuku. You should be happy, finally the Captain comes up with something to help your little love quest with Natsumi."

"And you want me to help your little love quest with Mois?"
W-What?
"Deny it all you want. If you didn't care one way or the other, you wouldn't be so interested."

"It's only research…."

"Suuuure it is. But you understand my plight, don't you? Someone you're researching having eyes for another?"

Kururu pushed up his glasses and resumed typing. "We're on the same team, Corporal. For now. Now get me some curry chips, kuku."

But this time, Giroro left with a sense of smugness. And Kururu knew it. He had poked a hole in the Sargant-Major's defenses.

Damn it…..damn it! Love?! That woman?! It's impossible! Love is weak. It's an emotion that turns people into impulsive clowns. Why need it when you have brains like me?

And yet….

Momoka loved Fuyuki.

Giroro loved Natsumi.

Mois loved Keroro.

Aki loved this mysterious Haru figure.

It seemed in all four cases, someone was willing to do all sorts of things for someone that didn't (or wasn't able to) return the same emotions. But why? What compelled people to mentally torture themselves?

For once, Sergeant-Major Kururu didn't think it was funny.

To be continued...

Tough times out there. I hope everyone is doing well. I realized Kururu would have more involvement since...well, it's clear his focus is with Mois but he's entrenched in a lot of plotpoints. Which kinda made it hard to advance haha.

next line-up is Giroro, Momoka, Koyuki, and Mois. In that order!