Hello, my name is Saiki Kusuo. But I'm sure you already knew that, you're on my FanFiction page.

I'm also an esper, but you know that as well. How did I know? Because I'm an esper.

Currently I'm walking home from school alongside nine nuisances. One of them has eighth-grader syndrome, one is an idiot whose mind I cannot read (the only other things whose minds I cannot read are bugs, mind you, due to their small brains), one is a threat to my wish for solace, one is a hopeless romantic, one is passionate to say the least, one eats all the time (but she serves me coffee jelly at a restaurant so I'll let her presence slide), one is a former delinquent, one is a gyaru, and the other is a perverted priest. The last two are also espers.

Good grief, what a troublesome bunch.

"Saiki, do you feel an ominous presence?" No but your presence is annoying.

"Partner, want to get ramen?" Not even going to dignify that request by giving a yes/no answer.

"Saiki, want to go to the mall?" And get swarmed by your religious cult? No thank you.

"Kaidou-kun, let's go to your place!" Yes, both of you, go.

"Saiki, tennis practice in forty minutes!" Just take Nendou.

"Mmph! *Chew*" Sigh.

"Saiki… Let's have a chat in that alleyway." As hard as it is to believe, I simply don't trust you.

"Saiki, let's go to your place~" Oi, this fanfiction is rated T.

"Screw off, Aiura," "Hey Saiki, you could steal as many porn magazines as you want with your po-" At this point I telekinetically hurled a stone at his right side. Another victory for the purity of Japan.

This happens every day. I was born with these powers so I never knew what it meant to be normal, and these people are anything but.

These powers are insufferable, disastrous, cruel, and ultimately the reason these nuisances follow me.

I could never get rid of these powers no matter how much I try, sure, germanium can cancel out my telepathy but then there's the potential of a serial killer standing right next to you as the entire population becomes an army of Nendous. It's terrifying.

Without these powers, I wouldn't need to be alone all the time so that chuunibyou wouldn't latch onto me, without these powers, I wouldn't have the idiot follow me, he only considers me a friend because I had to use my powers to clear his name for some stunt everyone's favorite character Takahashi did, if I didn't have these powers, Teruhashi wouldn't see me as some unachievable goal, Chiyo wouldn't bother me since she's latched to Kaidou, etc.

I've saved this country and the world several times, don't I at least deserve a peaceful life? Do you hear me, god? If you're not busy fawning over Teruhashi, how about getting rid of this curse?

Of course, that does nothing.

Countless houses and intersections later, my house is in view, I telepathically say "Goodbye" in their heads.

Everyone then disperses. I can hear them all in my head, their thoughts and impressions.

They say their normal goodbyes, "Bye, Saiki!" "See ya!" "May we meet again, Saiki, and take down Dark Reunion!" "See ya, partner!" "Later, Saiki~", and so forth.

Meanwhile, they were thinking more or less the same thing.

"He never does anything, does he," "Saiki's so plain…" "Well maybe Saiki and I will save the world tomorrow," "Saiki, let's go in your place, your bed is my bed~," "Chew chew, munch munch," these people are always the same.

I leave them at the intersection and go to my house, turning the gate and I opened the front door. Before I enter I know at least my kind mother and bum father are inside.

"Saiki, how was school today? I noticed your friends from the window!"

"Saiki! Can you teleport my boss to the deep ocean?!"

Not going to dignify the second request, and the first seems unnecessary to answer. At this point I head towards my room.

My room is nice and simple, a wall with closets, a bed, a desk, an old TV… Ah, that's right.

I reversed the time on my TV by one day with my psychic powers. I need to do that every day otherwise it'll break and never come back on.

I meant to get a new TV once but I got… distracted.

I turned on the TV and started watching the first drama that was on. I like TV dramas since I can't read their minds, so everything's full of genuine suspense, pure bliss.

The drama that was on at the moment was about a rich heir who was disowned by his family since he refused to marry his cousin whom his family wanted him to marry to keep "everything within its proper lineage." He found marrying his cousin to be disgusting so he fled to the village and started to fall for a village girl there who holds resentment towards his family due to their monopolizing on the village's mining industry. It seems that it's the Season 1 finale and that he's about to confess his love to the girl who gradually warmed up to him. Overall, fairly decent series.

After thirty minutes of building up to that moment of confession, it finally comes and he proposed to her.

"But Harutaka… I can't marry you…" "Why the hell not?!" "Because I'M YOUR SISTER!"

I literally choked for a moment. She looked nothing like him! I swear, these directors want a reason for everything!"

Disgusted, I turned off the TV. Such cheap tricks should not happen on TV.

I lay down in bed, reading Shounen Jump (totally not a shameless promotion) for an hour or two. Homework isn't an issue, I can do it pretty quickly.

Finishing up the manga, I put it down and start to rest.

I'm Saiki Kusuo, age 17. I have psychic powers that could destroy the world if I wanted to. But I don't want these powers. I just want to live a normal life.

I wish I didn't have these powers.

I have wished that wish a thousand times before, but I really do just want them gone.

If there is a god somewhere, hear my calls.

…

I should have known. I proceed to sleep.

Addendum Auctoris: I guess I'll return to this, and I decided to update it a bit. Seems like in the original version I forced a bunch of lines and cliches, seems rushed overall. Hopefully this fixes that for the most part at least, didn't want to cut out the introduction quotes from the Nine Nuisances, since it'd seem like it'd do them a disfavor, I dunno.

Curate ut valeatis, omnes.