A/N: Hey everyone! So after more than a year of having people request my take on an AU for Christina Perri's 'The Words' (of which I know there are many in this fandom), I have finally written something. There were also so many of you with little bits and pieces you wanted that in order to do it justice, I felt like I had to take this outside of the mixtape and make it a three part story. I will later compile all three pieces and put them in the mixtape in case anyone misses it here. This chapter, meanwhile, starts with Killian and anyone who has seen the music video will know exactly where the inspiration comes from. Hope you guys enjoy and thanks for reading!

The twilight train that ran through Storybrooke Maine was nothing if not regular.

Killian Jones could set his watch right down to the second based on when he heard that far off rumbling grow into something more and more prominent. Cutting through the woods, and thus cutting through the quiet existence of the surrounding wildlife, the train was a reminder that an outside world remained. It was slow, but persistent, and the whistle it let loose as it approached Killian's home was the same exact tone as all the ones before it. To others, that sound might be unwelcome, but for Killian it signaled it was time for his day to end. Time to put the wood he'd chopped the past few hours in the back shed behind the house and head back in to the solemn comfort of his home.

"All right boy, time to come in! Heaven forbid you miss your dinner."

Killian's intentionally sarcastic call out to the field behind his house was immediately responded to by the mangy mutt who Killian had taken in upon moving to this place years back. The town had long known this furry little miscreant and since the early days of his residence in Storybrooke, when he'd started making mischief and avoiding all attempts at animal control, they'd referred to him as Tramp. Killian hadn't any idea what breed of dog Tramp actually was, but it didn't matter. He was loyal and protective and good company when Killian had so little other interaction with anyone out here.

A quiet life. That was what he'd signed up for when he descended on this cabin in the woods, away from the fray of the day to day. It was what he'd wanted more than anything after the rough and tumble of the years before, but in the solace of the silence there was something that needed facing, a truth Killian had avoided but could not be ignored any longer: he was hiding out here. Hiding from life, from love, from the very forces that had sent his world into spiral before. Out here he was out of reach of that darkness, but was the life he was leading fulfilling? Were the small victories in this tiny kind of existence he'd created enough? More and more he was finding that they weren't, especially not when he considered the possibility that one certain someone posed to him each and every time their paths crossed.

Emma Swan, a woman well befitting of the name, was a florist in the city and one of Killian's most loyal customers, but the feelings that he had for her were anything but professional. Ever since the moment that they'd met, when he'd arrived with his first batch of orchids, Killian felt an unexpected twinge inside his chest, a spark of something long forgotten that he'd pushed aside for years lit from the humor in her eyes and the gentle perfection that was her smile. Emma was gorgeous beyond compare, but it was more than that golden hair and lithe figure with just the right amount of curve that drew him mad. It was the wit that brilliant brain of hers possessed and the kindness that she showed for every person who walked through the doors of her shop. It was the way she always seemed to anticipate a need even before someone had spoken it aloud, and it was how she always seemed to know where his limits were drawn even when he himself was unaware. Because of that Killian had revealed more of his past and personality to this woman than anyone else in a long long time, but even that didn't seem like enough. Most days he wished he'd take things further, that he'd gather the courage to ask her out properly, but those words never seemed to come. Instead he remained tongue tied and hesitant and the moments always past, ending with the same exchange.

"So I'll see you next week?" Emma would ask with a warmth that seeped down to his very soul. She was obviously hopeful that he'd come, and Killian knew it was probably more than just professional interests that drove her, but it still wasn't enough to have him take that last leap of faith.

"Aye, Swan. I'll see you then."

The problem was that Killian hated the wait, and all those hours that stood between seeing Emma and reuniting with her in the future never failed to drag on endlessly. No amount of work, no level of need from his other clients, could ever make the time fly faster, and every day that Killian didn't see Emma was a day he wished he would. At least ten times on any given morning he'd debate the merits of driving back to the city and pretending that he'd had some kind of other errand just so that he might run into her, but old doubts always had a way of creeping in and keeping him stagnant when he wanted so badly to move forward.

"A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets," a voice in Killian's head murmured, and it was the same voice that did most of Killian's internal scolding. His elder brother Liam had always been driven and guided by an unwavering moral compass. Things were easy for Liam, because the world didn't have the same shades of gray that it did for everyone else. Things were either right or they were wrong, good or bad, and there was always an answer to any kind of problem as long as one was willing to do the work of finding it.

Killian had always believed in much of his brother's sensibilities, in that line and in others, but when Liam was taken from this life all too soon two years ago it shook Killian's foundations to the core. There was no understandable reason for Liam's death; just a freak accident off a stormy shore half a world away and his brother was gone. And no matter how much work Killian did, no matter how he occupied his mind or channeled his energies, there was no making sense of it. There was also no understanding how he could have faced that kind of blow and lost so much only to return home, looking for his fiancé at the time, to find her in bed with another man. There was no coming to terms with that kind of agonizing loss and unforgivable betrayal packed in one punch, and so he'd left, wandering for a few months before attempting to pick up the pieces in a place he never imagined on the coast of Maine.

Storybrooke was as quaint and quintessential as it sounded, and in his old life it would hardly have been the place that Killian chose for himself. But a few months after losing Liam he received word that a distant relative had also passed away. She was a great aunt by way of their mother and she was someone that Liam and Killian had never known. She left the two of them a house and a business raising and selling exotic orchid plants to floral distributors all through the region. At first Killian didn't know what to do with such an opportunity, for what the bloody hell did he know of flowers, but he realized that it was his way out if not forward.

Part of him also believed that this opportunity was Liam looking out for him even beyond the grave, trying to offer him roots when all of Killian's had been ruthlessly torn from under him. Because of this, Killian tried his best to make things work here but feeling a connection was difficult. He could escape here, if not face his problems head on, and for a while that was enough. Little by little, week by week, Killian had felt himself going a bit more numb. His heart was hardening and his outlook on the future was dreary and dull, until the day he'd found Emma. For on that day there had been light again, a light that Killian desperately wanted to keep and to strengthen, but that he didn't have words to describe or solicit.

"It's not that hard, mate," he muttered to himself as he marched in the house with Tramp on his heels, heading towards the kitchen to prepare himself and his ever-loyal mutt something for the evening meal. "Just tell the woman how you feel. She might surprise you."

Tramp gave a low bark at that as if trying to respond to Killian and Killian shook his head as he shut the door behind them. "Oh bloody hell, now I'm talking to myself. What's wrong with me, boy?" Tramp only looked up at Killian with the eyes of a slightly confused canine and Killian sighed. "Right, talking to my dog's not much better."

Things were clearly bad if this was the state of his life. Slowly Killian was creeping into the vicinity of actual crazy and the worst part was that it didn't need to be that way. In his heart Killian knew somehow, someway, that Emma wouldn't rebuff him despite the anxieties that swirled in his chest every time they met. He'd seen it in her eyes, in the little gleam that showed up every time he walked into the shop or the way her cheeks stained a lovely shade of pink any time he complimented her. She was not wholly unaffected by the pull between them, so why didn't he just man up and say something? He should just ask her out and be done with it, instead of living each day in this same safe but utterly unfulfilling state.

With those thoughts in mind Killian continued on with his nightly routine of a quiet dinner consumed while he listened to the radio and while Tramp ate beside him before curling up by his feet. There was no television in the cabin on purpose, because escape wouldn't have really been possible if he had a window to the world that way, but the radio had always calmed Killian, and it gave him just enough of a taste of life outside of Storybrooke while allowing him to still avoid to his heart's content. When dinner was done so too was that bit of technological indulgence, and Killian made his way up the stairs of his home and to the well-earned bath he'd been looking forward to.

It might be strange to some to give into such a luxury, especially given all he'd sacrificed for the sake of simple living, but these moments each evening washed away the dirt and grime not only of his work but of the demons of his past, which still sometimes plagued his mind. The steam and the warmth of a good soak in this old clawfoot tub was something that he craved each night, but even in this moment of enjoyment Killian felt how alone he truly was. This world he'd created for himself was insulated from the things he wanted to avoid to be sure, but it was also so empty of the good things life should hold as well. There was a gaping hole that needed filling, and instinct demanded that Killian admit the truth, that the only person he could ever hope would take that role was Emma. No one else would stand a chance against his heartache, but Emma made him feel things – want things – that he'd resigned himself to losing all those years ago.

Just the thought of what he wanted and the image of Emma in his head was enough to have him hard and aching. For so long he'd been unfeeling, but Emma had changed that and as he came to take his length in hand, he wished it were her fingers gripping him instead. Emma had the softest skin, despite her avid love of flowers and the gardening he knew she delighted in at home, and Killian allowed himself to imagine what it would be like if they did take that step after wanting it for so long. It would happen after a proper date between them, and he'd find a way to romance his Swan and make Emma feel as special and remarkable as he found her to be. That date would culminate in a kiss that heated through to something more, something defined by lust and ruled by an untamed desire and connection that would not wane.

Killian could practically taste her on his tongue as the scenario in his head continued, and the Emma of his fantasies was just as kind and serene as the one he knew, but as fiery and passionate as her eyes always alluded to. Underneath those innocent summer dresses and professional winter sweaters lay a woman who knew what she wanted and who would take all she needed, and Killian craved the chance to know her in such a way more than anything. Emma was, in short, perfection, and sooner than he should Killian came at the vision of her unable to feel shame for it despite the mess he'd made and the intimacy of his actions that she couldn't possibly know were happening. But Emma Swan was temptation itself, a vision of loveliness and a light in his life he so desperately needed, and knowing that grounded something in Killian tonight as he cleaned off and eventually lay down for bed:

The time of waiting and wondering were over. He couldn't let another night go by where all he had were dreams and musings about what could be. So tomorrow would be the day that he set out to change his luck. Tomorrow he'd tell Emma how he truly felt. He'd ask her out for more than a fleeting moment at her shop, and when he did he'd start actually living again instead of wasting away in the quiet he once saw as a comfort that had now become his hell. And as he fell asleep, succumbing to that final state of rest that separated him from the next morning where he'd see his Swan again, Killian dreamed of the life that could be if only he and Emma were given the chance to build something together.

Post-Note: So for this chapter specifically, I am addressing the bulk of the requests I've gotten. A few of you wanted the bathtub scene to go further than it did in the video (some of you actually wanted it to be way dirtier, but alas here we are, please forgive me!). A few wanted insight into Killian's thoughts if he was the character from the song, and one of you even went so far as to specifically request that he have a dog in this story! That being said, there is still more to come and next chapter we get not only the two of them meeting, but we get Emma's POV of how it will go. Since this is only a three-part story and the chapters are so short, you can all expect that it's a fluff-filled, smut-light showing, but not to worry, I'm hoping to pack in all the CS cuteness I can in the chapters that I write. Anyway, thanks so much for reading this first part and I hope you all continue on with me next week when I put out chapter 2!