A/N: Twenty-one almost-drabbles, one for each episode of season 1.

1x01

"You're not some overnight sensation. Though you are sensational overnight, to the best of my recollection."

She can feel his gaze on her. He is gauging her reaction, testing her resolve. He's been doing this more and more these days and she has been all too willing to let him. The innuendo is getting less and less subtle, the accidental touches are seeming more and more deliberate.

She smiles, looking over the bridge's rail at the water running under them.

They are dancing closer and closer to the edge and the fall, lately, has never seemed so tempting.

1x02

"Oh, my goodness. It's great to be at the Bluebird."

Deacon leans forward to whisper into her ear. Of course he would choose that song. He explains how this is a song they first performed right here at the Bluebird 20 years ago, and she makes some joke about being in preschool back then. As soon as they're on stage together, the banter comes as a second nature.

"Well, we're gonna play it for you right now."

One.

Two.

Three.

Everything around them disappears and it's just her and Deacon again, pouring their hearts out to each other.

1x03

"So, that's actually pretty easy."

Easy is probably the last word she would have used here. He keeps talking then, something about going deep, the early ones stripped down and That Could Be Us but she has trouble focusing. Her fingers toy with her wedding ring. She suggests doing the big songs, he reminds her that quiet and intimate is what's gonna work.

"You mean like at the Bluebird?"

They've spent so many years practicing their subtext, she wonders if they know another way to communicate anymore.

"Freaking out a little bit?"

She might need a minute here. She might need a little more.

1x04

She thought that, after all this time, it would have been a little more awkward, maybe a little more tentative. But it's not. Their bodies remember each other.

"Hey."

He kisses her as he rolls on top of her and, oh, how much she's missed this. His weight, his warmth, his scent. His everything.

"Hey."

Her blue painted fingernails dig into his shoulder blades, his hand traces along the curve of her hip and—

"Rayna."

She opens her eyes, confused, squinting at the hostile morning light.

"Hey, sleepyhead. You're planning on getting up today?"

Fuck.

1x05

Judging by the annoying sound coming from his pocket, he can tell he has now reached an area where his phone gets signal again. He's tempted all of sudden to make a U-turn and drive back to the woods.

He knows damn well why she cancelled the tour. He knows damn well why she fired him. He knows damn well why she needs to do that commercial. But music is all he's got. It's the only part of his life that he ever seems to be able to do halfway good. She should know damn well why he will never sign that release.

1x06

"Kill me now, please." She groans as she rolls over. Everything about last night is a little bit hazy. "I think it was that second whiskey shot that made the third and the fourth one seem like such a good idea."

She can't remember her last hangover but she's certain it was before, at a time when alcohol still meant fun and parties and goofy songwriting sessions, before it started to mean fights and crying and dragging Deacon out of hotel rooms because he was so wasted she didn't know if he was drunk or dead.

1x07

He's on the couch, strumming on his guitar, when she walks in with Liam.

He almost passed on this band leader gig. He was determined on keeping some distance between them for a while, but a mix of curiousity about this new guy she's working with and the prospect of missing an occasion to play on the Ryman stage made him change his mind.

He gets up then and they exchange a few words, as if she didn't just fire him a few weeks ago.

"Sometimes I like to mix it up," she explains when he asks about Liam.

Yes, she does.

1x08

She closes her eyes and lets the fall sun soak in. Deacon is sitting next to her on the wooden park table, their preferred spot for clandestine meetings. They've been quiet for a while, a kind of silence that only feels comfortable to people who've known each other for as long as they have.

She cancelled the tour, she fired him, they fought, and yet he called and she wasn't the least surprised he did. "I just want to make sure you're okay," he told her over the phone. They always come back to each other. Always.

1x09

"Can I ask you something?"

"You're gonna."

He hates interviews. Every time he's tempted to regret not pursuing a solo career, this alone is enough to remind him he made the right choice.

"Why didn't you ever settle down and get fat and happy?"

"Maybe I just never found the right one."

This is a blatant lie of course, and even Carmen knows it. "At the right time."

"Yeah." He pauses. "Even if I had, me and happy we don't get along too good."

Another lie. There was one thing that was gonna make him happy but he lost that a long time ago.

1x10

"What's wrong with the boots?"

"I put 'em on, clicked my heels three times, and I didn't turn into Deacon."

"What?"

Liam has this irritating habit of acting like he knows her better than she does, and she probably would find it less annoying if he wasn't right most of the time.

"Trying to turn me or anybody else into him is not gonna solve your problem."

"Well, what problem is that?"

"You're scared of being on that stage and having it feel different than it did for the past 20 years."

"I'm not scared."

She is not scared. She is terrified.

1x11

"Hey, have you thought about maybe reaching out to Deacon? That article was kind of rough."

"It's such crap, these people will write anything."

Bucky and Rayna exchange goodbyes before he walks down the plane's aisle to the door, leaving her and Liam the last two people inside Juliette's private jet.

Liam puts his best effort into trying to convince her to go for a drink. "Night's young. You know you want to."

But she quietly declines and he nods in defeat. She waits until he's out of sight and out of hearing range before she reaches for her phone.

"Hey, Deacon, it's me."

1x12

The doors open and—

Of course.

So much for him trying to stay out of her way. She can see him ponder not getting into the elevator for a second, but he decides against it. With one big stride, he's standing next to her.

"Hey."

He doesn't flinch. She rolls her eyes. She tries small talk then but it doesn't lead to better results. Ignoring her entirely, that's new. She never thought she'd see the day he'd be singing Boys & Buses with Juliette Barnes either, so... Life never ceases to amaze.

The doors open again, he leaves without a word.

"Glad we had this chat."

1x13

"You have a good night?"

Well, her life is such a mess at the moment that instead of spending the night in Liam's bed, she spent it sobbing on the tiled floor of his hotel's bathroom. She's not eager to share that with Deacon. "It was all right."

"Y'all sure made up quick, huh? You and Liam."

He's got about 500 miles worth of nerve. She's seen enough women getting out his hotel rooms over the years to know he's the last person allowed to make a judgement here.

"What do you want from me right now?"

"Nothing, Ray. Not a damn thing."

1x14

"Now this is a surprise party," he jokes, even though it isn't. A surprise, that is. Whether it was with a whole day of festivities or a simple phone call, she hasn't failed to remember a single one of his last 25 birthdays.

She smiles as she walks towards him, a glass of champagne in her hand. She pauses.

"Happy birthday."

They embrace, then, her free hand clinging to his neck and her face buried into his shoulder. The hug lasts a little too long, they hold each other a little too tight.

They both grin as they pull away.

1x15

"You ain't just hooked on booze and pills. You're strung out on Rayna Jaymes."

He looks at Coleman and snorts. This is the dumbest thing he's ever heard. Hello, my name is Deacon Claybourne and I'm addicted to Rayna Jaymes. He would deserve a 13 years sobriety chip for that too then.

Coleman needs to stop talking about Rayna like she's some kind of addiction to him. She's his best friend. She's his one true love. He has loved her since the day they met and whatever happens or doesn't happen between them, he'll love her till the day he dies.

1x16

"Ho!"

The voice startles her and she turns to see Deacon in a pine green shirt, standing a few feet from her. He's smiling at her, a broad, genuine smile. They look at each other for a few seconds as their daughter is singing on the arena stage in front of them.

So show me family
All the blood that I would bleed
I don't know where I belong
I don't know where I went wrong
But I can write a song
I belong with you, you belong with me
You're my sweetheart

She grins back.

"Hey!"

1x17

She is surrounded by liars. Her dad. Tandy. Teddy. And now, Watty. Watty. She can't think about all this anymore. She's too tired, too emotionally exhausted by today's chain of events.

She needs to talk to Deacon. He is the only who will understand, the only one who knows her enough to. She left him a message a couple hours ago but she hasn't heard back from him since.

She sinks into her chair, her head leans against the backrest and her eyes close against her will. When she opens them again, Deacon is kneeling next to her.

1x18

"Do you still have feelings for her?" Stacy asks, her voice close to a whisper and her eyes to the ground. She already knows the answer.

"I'm trying to get it out of my blood," he offers as the flimsiest of defenses. Who is he going to convince here? He's been trying for the last 13 years. Stacy doesn't deserve this.

She storms out of the room then and he runs after her. She disappears into the hall as a voice calls for him.

"Everything okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Yeah." He stops in his tracks and turns around. "No. No."

"Come here. What's the matter?"

"You."

1x19

He gets into his car and slams the door.

He's such an idiot. What does he think he's doing. They've been back together for barely 48 hours, and he is already slipping back into his old habit of running away.

It doesn't matter. He doesn't know what she is hiding or what it is she is afraid to tell him, but it doesn't matter. It just doesn't. They've got so much damn water under their bridge, sometimes it's like they are drowning in it. To hell with all that. What matters is them. Right here. Right now.

1x20

"See you later, Buck."

Bucky has learned to disappear at her dressing room's door these days as there's always a certain someone waiting for her inside. This time though, the room is curiously empty.

She's changing from her black pants and rhinestones top into a robe when she hears knocking.

"I almost got worried." She grins as she opens the door.

"I tried my luck in another dressing room tonight."

"Hilarious."

He chuckles when she drags him inside and he almost stumbles. She slides her arms around his neck, kisses him as he lifts her up.

"How long we gonna have to do this in private?"

1x21

"Maddie came to see me."

"What?"

"She wants to know if I'm her father."

This is it. This is happening. She has spent 13 years thinking about this moment. She has imagined all kinds of scenarios for it. In some of them, she was the one telling him. In others, the fairytale ones, he one day looked at their daughter and he just knew.

In this one, he holds her gaze and pleads in a voice filled with pain, "Tell me that you haven't been lying to me every moment of the last 13 years."

How she wished she could.