The next morning in gym class found me playing football with most of the guys. I glanced around, analyzing who is where in the field and who is on what team. It's pretty easy to know who's on your team; either they have their shirt on, or they don't. I'm on the shirt's side today, and though I'd rather be on the skin's side, what with it being a hot day and all that, I do get to tackle other guys who are not wearing shirts. Just because I like Jamie specifically, that doesn't mean that I can't appreciate having half naked guys around.

At the end of class, I'm staring at the sky as I wait for Jamie to finish his run around the field and after a few moments he jogs up behind me.

Jamie stares up at the sky with me and a part of me just wants to turn and press a light kiss on his cheek. The sun is lighting up his hair into a light gold and his face looks angelic. Then, I can't help but think of what my dad would do or say if he knew half of the thoughts that fly through my head. "I can't wait to get outta here." I say for the hundredth time. "Live my own life." My life where, ideally, I could kiss Jamie whenever I wanted to and hold him close and not have to hold back those words I long to say.

I love you, Jamie.

"So with you. Frank wants me to mow lawns all summer."

"Lawns, as in, plural?"

"Yeah. For his friend Sal." His nose scrunches up slightly, clearly not liking the idea.

"And you don't want to, I take it."

"Bingo." Jamie nudged my shoulder before going towards the door.

Wanting to spend a bit more time with just him, I call out "Jamie," and launch the football that I was holding at him. He catches it and runs a few steps back before throwing it back to me. I grab the football and start running towards him, zig-zagging to see if he'll tackle me. He does. He caught me by my waist and my momentum makes us spin around. I grabbed the arm around me and hold it tight against my chest. When we slow down enough, we fall to the ground, laughing.

"Dork, I was tackling you," Jamie said, flipping over onto his back.

"Nah, total touchdown," I claim, holding the football up, in a mock proud gesture.

"Touchdown? Not even close," Jamie scoffed, and snatched the ball from my hand. I keep my hand in the air, now pointing at the sky. Jamie lies back down to look with me.

I can't help but think about the next few months and how much will change. I won't have to share a room with Gabe, I won't have my father yelling at me in Spanish, I won't have him pestering me about having a 'big latina family', and I won't have to work with him. I won't have to worry about what would happen if he ever found out that I'm not interested in a chica let alone a latina.

"Just a few more weeks," Jamie says, clearly thinking along similar lines as me.

"I hope I survive. Five APs and Purdy's exam. It all just might kill me," I groan.

"You'll ace 'em." Jamie speaks with genuine confidence and looks at me with such a complete look of pride that I just have to believe him.

"Thanks, man," I grin back with a chuckle.

"So, about prom," he says as he stand up, grabbing my hands to help me up. "You want to share a limo with me, Holland, DeMarco, Lia, and Michael?"

It's after Jamie asked about the limo did I remember that I didn't actually answer the question last night.

"Don't you need a date first?" I ask again, hoping he'd get discouraged about the whole prom thing.

"Ouch," he clutched his chest.

I can't help but smile. "See? McCall." Trying again to sway Jamie's thinking. I don't understand why he wants to go so badly, to me it's just an over glorified dance that's going to be full of sweaty people and too loud music. I personally would take a weekend with quality time with Jamie, somewhere no one knows us, and we can pretend to be an actual couple. Well, I can pretend. Jamie won't know, and I won't tell him. If he knew I was gay, then Gabe, Londa, my mother and father would eventually find out, because Jamie's that much of an excited puppy that he wouldn't be able to keep it hidden. He can hardly keep his 'secret' a secret from me.

"No McCall. Bahti will kill you if you back out, and I told Michael we'd share a limo." Mentally, I scoff at that. Bahti. As if she means so much to me that I would rather make her happy by taking her to prom than spending proper time with Jamie. I shake my head and start to walk inside.

"It'll be fun," Jamie calls after me. "Promise."

"McCall would be fun," I say over my shoulder, still walking. I can feel his eyes on me as I run a hand through my hair, and I grin. Maybe my far off fantasy of being with Jamie isn't so far off after all.