Chapter 9: Encounter Of The Angry Rhinoceros

A/n: Alright, so I'm a dirty rotten liar. I said that they would be serving detentions in this chapter, but I forgot about how I promised Fred and George that they'd get to sneak him off to Hogsmeade on Friday, which technically isn't part of the weekend, correct? So I'm sorry, they won't be slaving away just yet. I'm not sure how far I'll get with this Hogsmeade thing, it is, after all, infiltrated with some nasty dementors right about now. Bullocks, this could take a turn for the worse. ::Hangs head tragically:: Onward with fic!

Mucho thanks to my reviewers! I love you all!

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I made my way up the stairs to the dorms whistling to myself. Undoubtedly, the night had been a total and complete disaster- but some good had come from it.

"Land sakes, George, he's alive!" some one screamed as I past the fifth year rooms. Fred sprinted out from his room, a considerable amount of dirt tainting his grinning face. "Good to see you, mate," he greeted, shaking my hand enthusiastically.

"Yea, we were afraid you might not have made it," George added.

"Thanks for your lovely support," I said sarcastically. I moved to get to my room, but they blocked my path. "What is it?" I asked, annoyed.

"How did it go?" George asked.

I looked at him incredulously. "How did it go? What do you mean how did it go?"

"Did she say yes?" Fred asked slowly, as if the question was too complex for a simple- minded wizard like me to comprehend.

"We were a bit distracted," I said through gritted teeth.

"What, did you not even ask her?" Fred, again.

"I would like to go to bed, if you please."

"Come on, tell us!" George whined like an excited little boy.

"Ask McGonigal, I just spent the last twenty minutes in her office explaining myself."

Both of their faces broke out into matching, knowing smirks.

"Ooooh, pay up Fred- told you they'd get caught snogging," George said smugly, holding out his hand to his brother. Fred, looking dismayed, shook his head and reached his hand into one of his pockets.

"We were not caught making out," I said, getting even more agitated.

George covered his mouth with his hand, biting back laughter. "Geez, Oliver, we only wanted you to ask her out- we didn't mean for you to end up sh-"

I punched him in the shoulder. "And you will not finish that sentence!"

He rubbed it soothingly with a pained expression.

"You should be proud," Fred said with a thoughtful glance inside his pocket, still reaching for his money. He pulled out a small ball the size of a marble that was as clear as glass.

"Nothing of those sorts happened," said I. "If their was any kissing to be going on, it would sooner have been between me and the fifty or so dementors that were trying to kill us!" I yelled dramatically.

"No way!" George said.

"No thanks to you two," I added sharply.

"Uh-oh," Fred squeaked, pointing to the marble that was now beaming a bright scarlet. "Red alert," he moaned.

As soon as the words left his lips, the seventh year door burst open and a rather mad looking student stalked out into the hallway. His glasses askew, his hair standing out a mile on either side of his night cap, and sporting a frilly, blue bathrobe, he stood in front of us glaringly. His head boy badge hung haphazardly by a thread on his robe, as if pinned on as an afterthought.

"Hey Percy," I said.

He looked at us with the fiery burning hate of an angry rhinoceros. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

They both shook their heads 'no', and smiled innocently. I shrugged.

"Well I'll tell you what time it is! Its time for little brothers and silly little quidditch players to grow up!" He shrieked.

"Quiet now, brother, or you'll wake some one," George said, shaking his finger at him.

"And we wouldn't want that," Fred added. "Its after twelve-"

"EXACTLY! WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO GET SOME BLOODY SLEEP AROUND HERE, EH?" Percy ranted. He flung his skinny arms in the air wildly.

"I'm sorry Percy," Fred said, meaninglessly.

"If I had know that it was after twelve I know that I wouldn't have been so loud," George taunted.

Percy growled. "Go- TO- BED!" he finished with a stomp of his foot. His badge, no longer able to take the abuse, fell to the floor with a loud 'thud'. I snickered, and he picked it up off of the floor shooting daggers at us with the eyes on the back of his head. He stomped back up to his room and closed the door.

"Oh, brother dear, we were never so blessed," George said sadly.

"When he doesn't get enough sleep he gets cranky," Fred explained.

"Go figure," I replied. "I'm off, now."

"You can't go to bed for a full ten minutes, just to spite him," Fred explained.

"FRED!" I bellowed. "I've had it- I need to sleep. Ok? Goodnight!" Feeling as silly as Percy looked, I followed his warpath into my room.

Percy had drawn the curtains around his bed, which I was thankful for. I was in no mood to have to face him twice in one night. Usually we got along well- we were both so obsessed with punctuality and winning that we seemed to make a pretty good team. We weren't best friends or anything, we do okay together. But Merlin save anyone who gets in Percy's way- he's not one to tamper with, especially after midnight.

Tobias, my other roommate, was sleeping soundly in his bed with my copy of 'Quidditch Through The Ages' tucked under his head. It was funny, his reading glasses were still on, and his face was buried in between pages 87 and 88. Feeling sly, I reached out and pulled the book out from under his face. He landed in his pillow, undisturbed.

I chuckled. Just a bit of harmless fun...

I took the book and smacked him upside the head with it.

"Ow!" He yelped, turning over underneath his covers. I grinned. "What was that for?" He asked, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes warily.

"I need a sane voice in my head. Somehow, Fred, George, and Percy don't cut it," I said.

"Can't it wait until morning?" Tobias yawned, scratching his head.

"Probably, but what fun would there be in that?"

"Apparently too much."

"If you two insist on making so much noise, then I insist that you do it somewhere else!" Percy snapped, pushing aside his curtains.

"Skiv off, Perce, we were barely above a whisper," Tobias reasoned. "And if its going to bother you so much, then why don't you walk down to your special head boy headquarters and spend the night there?"

Percy was seething behind his horn rimmed glasses, as he snootily gathered his things into his comforter and stalked back to the door to leave.

Tobias grinned, now clearly awake. That was one of the things that I liked most about him- besides the fact that he's one of the surprisingly quietest persons that I know- he really knows how to piss Percy off.

"You better have a good reason for waking me up, Wood," he said, racking a hand through his brown hair.

"Not really," I said, coming to my senses. "The last few days have been hell."

"Ay, I noticed you weren't in classes yesterday. Care to explain?"

"I was in the hospital wing," I said, sitting down on my bed and placing the book on my nightstand. Tobias didn't question my reasoning, he knew I spent half my time in the hospital, even though he wouldn't have guessed in a million years as to why I had been there this time.

"Interesting."

"Mmmm."

"I noticed that Katie Bell wasn't present at dinner tonight," Tobias added as an afterthought. "Know anything about it?"

I laughed, unable to help myself. "She was with me."

"Oh?"

"Yes."

"Did you score or something-"

I scowled. "Its rather insulting to keep hearing that, you know. What kind of person do you think I am?"

Tobias opened up a small drawer in the table next to him and pulled out a stack of letters. He cleared his throat obviously. "Ahem. Well, according to this one, you're 'devilishly handsome and worth a thousand seekers-'"

"Where did you get those?" I asked, grabbing for them.

"The question is, why do you keep them?" He laughed, throwing the stack at me. "Fan mail- I'll never understand it. Ruddy amusing, though."

"Ha ha." I tucked the letters beneath my pillow, yawning.

"And the sovereign yawns," he said, shaking his head. "Perhaps if you got a decent nights sleep once in a while you might not end up in the Hospital Wing so much."

"I rather like the hospital wing. Its pleasant there."

"Let me rephrase that. Perhaps if your weren't so delirious, you wouldn't end up in the hospital wing so much. So what DID happen between you and Katie tonight?"

I grunted. "It started out as innocent old me trying to ask her out on a date-"

"You're not that innocent, Wood," Tobias said with a smirk. "But go on."

"Well everything was fine and dandy before the dementors showed up."

"The what?" Tobias went rigid, his back straight.

"The dementors. We had a fine time of running for our lives, and then being caught by Filch for being outside after hours. I have detention this weekend."

"Serves you right," Tobias said.

"What?"

"You shouldn't have been out after dark. Everyone knows that Sirius Black is out there, looking for something. You could have died."

"Its so good to know that you care," I said patronizingly. I jumped from his bed to mine, with my book tight under my arm. "If that's the kind of support I'll be getting then I might as well go to bed."

"Oh no you don't. You woke me up and I've still got about ten minutes of rant left in me," Tobias said sullenly. Suddenly an expression of sheer amazement passed over his face. "I get it, now. You've left me stuck in here with Percy for so long that I'm starting to act like him. That doesn't seem very fair."

I laughed. "Turn back now, Tobias. I don't ever want to see you like this again. And you owe me a new copy of 'Quidditch Through The Ages'."

"What?"

"Yea, you've got drool in between pages 87 and 88."

"Wanker," he said, burying his face in his pillow.

"I heard that."

"You were supposed to."

I shrugged in distress and kicked off my shoes before wrapping myself up in a large blanket. "I'm out then."

"Go to hell," Tobias grunted, suffocating himself with his pillow.

I nodded, more so from the bout of drowsiness that had taken over me than actual agreement. My back ached terrible from all the stresses I'd put on it throughout the day, but suddenly that didn't matter. I was falling asleep on a cloud of comfort, soaking in the feather soft loftiness of the bed sheets without a worry in my mind. Sleep, at long last...

zzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZ

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MEHHHH! I had to end it there, but soon to come: surprises. Like presents, only better. Please review, they motivate me like you wouldn't believe 3