"Come on," says Michael. It's not an effective argument. In fact it's straying into 'begging' territory.

"No, Mike, it's dumb," says Terry, who has clearly stopped paying attention to the argument. Terry is usually the first of them to lose interest, especially if it's Michael who's at the root of a conflict. So often are Michael's arguments more about rapport than actual debate. Anthony enjoys a good debate but the ones that Michael starts are usually pointless and Terry is easy to bore.

This is an outlier in that Anthony is actually interested in the subject.

"You said yourself that Umbridge isn't gonna teach us anything," says Michael, which is a more effective argument. "You wanna fail your OWLs?"

"OWL singular," says Terry, and pages through the Daily Prophet. There is something almost admirable about his disinterest.

"I thought you liked Defense class," presses Michael.

"I liked it when it was taught by Lupin and Not-Moody, not Harry Potter," says Terry. "What makes your girlfriend think he's qualified anyway? He's our age."

"He did alright in the tournament last year," Anthony offers.

"I could have done just as well," says Terry. Patently false. Terry's a pathetic flier.

Michael hasn't wanted them to do something ill-advised since second year when he'd wanted to take them all to the beach. Hopefully this will end better than the beach trip had. (Terry and Anthony had both gotten sunburned, Anthony had dropped their picnic lunch in the sand, and Michael had stepped on a broken bottle and had to be taken to the hospital.)

It's about time Michael had another dumb idea. He gets smug when he's gone too long without.

"Since when do you wanna break rules, anyway?" says Terry, who must have just thought of this counter. "Last year you tore your trousers and almost cried because you would break uniform."

"I did not almost cry," says Michael. It's technically not a lie. He'd actually cried, Anthony had seen him. "It's Anthony who's stuck up over the rules anyway, he's the Prefect."

Anthony had been perfectly content to stay out of this and to agree with whichever of them won the fight. "It's not against the rules," he says, hoping to remain neutral. "Homework groups are permitted. 'Student Organisation Policy' subheading 'Academic Groups'."

"Tosser," says Terry fondly. "This isn't a homework group. It's like anti-government rebellion."

"You're the commie," says Michael. "You should be all for it."

"I'm socialist," says Terry, like it's an argument. It kind of is but it doesn't argue Michael's actual point.

"Come on," says Michael again. It's even less of an argument the second time. Anthony silently places his bet on Terry for this fight.

Terry sighs, caves in. "If Potter doesn't immediately impress me, we're ditching," he says.

Anthony frowns and marks himself wrong.

Michael: 1
Terry: 0
Anthony: 0

"Okay," says Anthony, somewhat amused. "Now it's against the rules."

He is far less bothered than either Michael or Terry, who stand on either side of him with their arms crossed. Michael's tongue is sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he reads.

"I'll ask Ginny what they're planning," says Michael, without any discretion whatsoever. Anthony shoots a look at a second year who's pretending not to eavesdrop and grabs both his friends to drag them away from the bulletin board.

"I was still reading it," complains Terry.

"How did Umbridge find out?" demands Anthony.

"Jesus, Anthony," says Terry. "Does it matter? Probably she planned on it all along. Maybe she's just fucking with the Quidditch teams."

"The day after we meet at that disgusting, filthy pub," says Michael, who has a thing about bugs and had seen a spider in the Hog's Head. "Someone's a sneak."

"We're still gonna do it," says Terry.

"Really?" demands Anthony. He glances sideways at Michael for backup.

Michael's girlfriend negates his common sense and his dislike of trouble, apparently. "I think the Gryffindors will at least. And I will."

"And so we're gonna follow the Gryffindors like lemmings?" says Anthony, who can feel himself losing the fight. Like a dying animal (a lemming perhaps) he throws out a last attempt. "Terry, what happened? You said this was dumb."

Terry tilts his head to one side. "I said I'd stick around if Potter impressed me."

"That impressed you?" Anthony says, a little frustrated. Even Terry has foregone his sensibilities. Anthony is alone in this battle, something he never likes to be. He resigns himself to a loss.

"He just thinks brooding is sexy," says Michael in a mock whisper.

"Fuck you," says Terry, without malice.

"I cannot believe we're still doing this," says Anthony, and Michael and Terry grin at the same time. Anthony sighs.

He is a Prefect but he is also their friend, for better or for worse. For worse, it seems.

Michael: 2
Terry: 1
Anthony: 0

"That was great," says Terry. They are walking back from the DA and Terry had managed a good Stunning spell, which put him in a disgustingly good mood.

"I think I'm concussed," says Anthony.

Terry squints at him. "How many fingers am I holding up?" he says. Anthony frowns and tries to focus his vision. He feels rather dizzy.

It's one, very rude finger. "Fuck you," says Anthony. Terry grins.

"At least you could do the spell," says Michael grumpily. He had tried many times to no avail; even Ginny had looked sorry for him by the end of the class.

"You got Stunned at least six times and you're clearly in better shape than me," says Anthony.

"Because we were smart enough to put out a Cushioning Charm," says Michael.

Terry and Anthony both stop walking; Anthony gives Terry an accusing stare and Terry shrugs helplessly. They both feel stupid for a moment, then they keep walking.

"You don't look concussed," says Terry. "You're walking in a straight line at least."

Anthony shakes his head and groans in pain, more for show than because he really needs to groan in pain. "I'm pretty sure it's a concussion."

This isn't a proper argument mostly because it's not about difference in opinion, but about something that can be easily proven. Anthony would still like to win it though. Of course winning an argument about his own concussion is a bit pathetic (particularly when losing a duel had caused the concussion) but he will take what he can get.

They round the corner and Anthony's head swims.

"You should be fine," says Terry. "Floor wasn't that hard."

Patently false; the floor is made of stone like the rest of the castle. Anthony tries to point that out but instead he staggers to the side of the hallway and is sick on the floor.

There are choruses of disgust from a group of third year girls but Anthony holds the wall and ignores them. They leave the area quickly and Anthony wipes his mouth.

Terry and Michael are there too, then, and Michael swings Anthony's bag off his shoulder for him. "Actually, you might be concussed," says Terry.

Michael: 2
Terry: 2
Anthony: alas, 1

"I'm just saying," says Anthony, who is regretting starting the fight already. "Her detentions are already like, borderline torture."

Michael scoffs through a mouthful of toast. "Borderline torture. If that's any sort of torture then I'm a krup."

Michael has a remarkable ability to accidentally injure himself and a high tolerance for pain to go with it. As a result he is largely desensitised to the idea of carving words into his hands, which makes him impossible to reason with.

Terry, next to him, eating an apple sort of philosophically, is looking more skeptical. Anthony refocuses his efforts. It's a sad state of things that Terry is the more sensible of the two.

"The DA's gonna start looking suspicious. We're all disappearing at the same time on a regular basis- they're gonna catch on eventually."

"Since when do the likes of Malfoy pay any attention to us?" says Michael. "I don't remember any of them seeing too far past their own noses, ever."

Anthony ignores this. "We could all get expelled over this. And if we're lucky enough to escape that, we're all still gonna get 'Respect the Ministry' or some shit carved into our hands permanently."

"It's not too permanent," says Terry, who had gotten five detentions for sending Umbridge a Howler at breakfast a month ago. He shows them his hand. "You can barely see mine anymore, look."

"We're headed for disaster," says Anthony without looking at Terry's hand. He has become the devil's advocate and he hates it. Usually Michael is the pessimist- pessimism comes far easier to him. But Ginny Weasley has sent his sour moods and pessimism the same way as his common sense.

"You're free to quit the DA any time, mate," says Michael. It's an effective counter.

"I don't mean that I hate it," Anthony amends. He's actually been enjoying the meetings. "I just think we should think about the risks of being involved for too long-"

"Of course I've thought about the risks," says Michael, affronted.

"Then why haven't you-"

"Because I think my OWLs are worth it," says Michael. "And because I think that learning how to protect myself, just in case, is worth it, too."

"And the detentions and the-" tries Anthony, mostly to put up the appearance of a fight. Michael has already won this one.

"Tony, if we get caught and expelled, my dad will skin me and make me into a rug," says Michael. "I think the detentions are a minor thing."

"I'd think being made into a rug would be a significant risk," says Anthony, who is heartened somewhat by the reappearance of Michael's grimly absurd predictions.

"At least I'd make a handsome rug," says Michael, and inspects his reflection in his spoon. Anthony snorts and accepts the comment as a truce of sorts.

Michael: 3
Terry: 2
Anthony: 1

"Patronuses!" says Terry, enthused. "I never thought I could do a Patronus."

"You still can't," Anthony points out.

"But we're going to learn how," says Terry. "I have never been more excited to learn something."

Michael is in a good mood too; apparently Ginny had taken off their shirts to kiss or something like that. Anthony is happy for him but can't help but note that Michael's good moods coincide very often with Michael's mistakes.

"If you had this kind of enthusiasm for Transfiguration you wouldn't be failing," says Anthony, just to be a killjoy.

"Anthony," says Terry seriously. "Would you rather do a lengthy and annoying Transfiguration, or find out what your Patronus is?"

It's not really a question. Anthony doesn't like Transfiguration much either. He concedes the point. "Chess?" he says instead.

"Pfft," says Terry. "If you want."

Anthony loses the chess, too.

Michael: 3

Terry: 4 including the chess

Anthony: 1

"Shit," says Michael, when they are catching their breath in the fifth floor bathroom. There's a pause as they all hyperventilate a little more and then Michael says, more clearly this time, "Shit shit shit shit shit."

"One shit is enough," pants Anthony. "Shit."

"No, it doesn't feel panicked enough," gasps Michael. He rubs a hand over his mouth. "You gotta repeat it."

"Are you guys serious?" says Terry. "This is the time to talk about proper swearing?"

"Shit," repeats Michael. "Oh, shit. My dad's gonna- what was it I said my dad would do? Harpoon me?"

"Skin you," mutters Anthony.

"I don't wanna be a rug," says Michael. "Shit."

"Hey," says Anthony, who wants to bask in his own correctness for a moment. "I warned you guys months ago that we'd get caught."

"Anthony," warns Terry. "Let the man hyperventilate."

"I'm not hyperventilating," says Michael. A lie, of course, but Anthony decides to allow it. Terry leans heavily on the sink and splashes his face with water. Leans back into the wall and fumbles in his pocket for a joint.

"We're gonna get expelled," says Anthony. "Oh, we're gonna get expelled."

"We're not gonna get expelled unless we get caught," says Terry, trying to find a match. "Which we haven't been. Yet."

One of the toilets flushes and there's an awkward moment as the seventh year gives them a weird look, washes his hands, and leaves. They wait for a moment and then Michael explodes again. "If I don't come back after summer, assume I'm dead."

"You're ridiculous," says Terry. He lights his joint and takes a drag. Anthony pointedly looks the other way. He is a Prefect but he is also a friend.

"Remember me as I am," says Michael.

"Your shirt's untucked," says Anthony. Michael swears and tucks his shirt in hastily.

"Now you can remember me as I am," he says. Anthony rolls his eyes. They seem to be breathing decently now, so he feels justified in nagging them again.

"What'd I say? She was gonna catch on eventually."

"You're so annoying when you're right," says Michael. Bold words for someone who'd been smug for months when he'd gotten the highest score in Ravenclaw on McGonagall's midterm.

"We'll be fine so long as nobody gets caught and rats out the whole lot of us," says Terry.

"Are we sure Umbridge actually figured out where we were going?" says Michael. "I dunno, she's not actually that brilliant. Probably there's a rat in the DA."

"Who would be a rat?" says Anthony.

"I dunno," says Michael. "Er, Marietta wasn't here today and her mum's Ministry. Zacharias Smith is a jackass. Ernie's stuck up his own arse over being a Prefect."

"Huh," says Anthony. "If we got sold out-"

"We're gonna get expelled," says Terry.

"Yeah, we're gonna get expelled," agrees Anthony.

Michael: 3
Terry: 4
Anthony: alas, 2
Umbridge: 1

"That wasn't so bad," says Terry.

"I could have lost my badge," says Anthony, who had been singled out with all the other non-Slytherin Prefects. He is rattled.

"We're not expelled at least," Terry amends.

"Easy for you to say," says Michael.

Umbridge's office wasn't big enough for the entire DA so she'd yelled at them in the Defense classroom and given them all two weeks' detention.

And said she would write their parents, so Michael is grumping along at Anthony's side looking like he's smelling something foul.

"Your parents will probably congratulate you," Michael tells Terry glumly. He affects a high-pitched voice that actually isn't too far from Terry's mum's actual voice. "So proud of our little communist!"

Anthony wonders how his parents will react. He's hopeful though- they don't like Umbridge at all and his dad isn't quite as rod-up-his-ass as Michael's dad.

"For the last goddamn time I'm not a communist," says Terry, not for the last goddamn time.

Michael: 3
Terry: 4
Anthony: 2
Umbridge: 2

"-and she said that it's pathetic of me to be so petty over Quidditch, even though I'm not," says Michael. "I just meant it wasn't fair to expect me to celebrate that Gryffindor still beat Ravenclaw with half its team banned."

Anthony thinks Michael had been a tad unreasonable considering that all Ginny appeared to have been asking for was a congratulations, but he's fully understanding. He'd been miffed about the game too.

"So I said I didn't want to congratulate Harry fucking Potter on dumping our Seeker so she's all emotionally wrecked," says Michael. "And she said Cho sold out the DA, even though that was Marietta-"

Terry pats Michael comfortingly on the back and Michael blows his nose. "And I said Marietta's mum works for the Ministry and she said it was pathetic to defend her and I said something like oh, I'm not allowed to feel sorry for this girl who just got permanently disfigured over a fucking homework club," Michael continues.

Anthony can't say he's surprised that Michael got dumped, actually. Michael had a certain moral high ground there, and Ginny was almost certainly the kind of Gryffindor who hated to lose an argument.

"So she was like, this isn't about the DA, and I said what's it about then and she said it was about how I was a sore loser and a shitty boyfriend and I'm annoying and whiny and she's sick of it, and I said just dump me if you hate me so much, and she did," says Michael. He blows his nose again.

Anthony definitely isn't surprised that Michael got dumped now he's heard the story, but he pats Michael on the back and hands him a clean handkerchief.

"You can say you told me so," Michael says to Terry, who had disliked Ginny from the start, though he'd been careful not to voice it too openly.

"You look too miserable," says Terry. "I can rub it in later."

Michael blows his nose again. "I mean I'm still mad," he says. "But I really wish we could have worked it out."

Terry puts an arm around Michael. "No offense, mate, she's a Gryffindor. It's a lost cause. You're honestly lucky you weren't punched."

Michael snuffles. "Yeah," he agrees. He sighs. "I really liked her."

Anthony pats Michael on the back and Michael puts his chin on his knees.

"I really, really liked her," says Michael miserably.

Michael: emotionally, -∞
Terry: 4
Anthony: 2
Ginny: 1

Anthony and Terry are riding the train back with a bunch of Hufflepuffs from the DA, because Michael has started dating Cho Chang of all people and is now hanging around the older Ravenclaws.

"At least he's not dating another Gryffindor," says Terry. "He's learned his lesson."

"But Cho Chang," says Anthony. He has nothing against Cho Chang but she is weepy lately and Michael is high-strung and awkward.

"Why is it Michael's getting all the girlfriends anyway?" says Terry. "Where's mine?"

"You're gay," Anthony points out.

"It's just weird, he's not the pretty one."

"I dunno," says Anthony. Michael is no great looker but he's not too bad. Fidgety and short and permanently squinty, but he's not ugly.

"The pretty one is obviously you," says Terry. "I'm spotty."

"No way," says Anthony. "You're the attractive one." Terry may be pimply but he is the tallest of them- five foot eleven and a half- and he's got a nice Roman nose.

"Spotty," repeats Terry. They both glance at the window, and Anthony frowns. "Is that Malfoy?"

He slides the compartment open just in time to catch Malfoy raising his wand. Anthony may be a Prefect but it's not like he can give Malfoy a detention now, so he pulls his own wand out of his robes and breaks a school rule and several Prefect policies about conflict resolution.

There's a clattering of noise and Anthony glances over his shoulder to see that Terry and the Hufflepuffs had followed him out of the compartment, all of them happy to break the rules and Prefect policies as well.

Malfoy and his cronies are on the floor looking rather miserable and sluggish and Anthony looks over them at Harry Potter. Harry laughs.

"What spells did you lot use?" he says. "I didn't teach you that."

"Mixing spells is like mixing drugs," says Terry wisely. "Nasty side effects." Anthony has to bite his lip to keep from laughing.

"Good job," says Harry appreciatively, just as Ron Weasley comes down the aisle to investigate.

They get the Slytherins stowed in the overhead compartments with some difficulty. Anthony opens his mouth to comment on how totally against the rules it is, but Terry elbows him in the side.

"I must say, I'm looking forward to seeing Malfoy's mother's face when he gets off the train," Ernie says, brushing off his hands. Hannah smothers her laugh with her hand.

"Goyle's mum'll be really pleased, though, he's loads better looking now," says Ron.

They retreat back to their compartment and Terry swings into his seat, looking satisfied.

"Looks like the DA paid off after all," says Anthony, and Terry laughs.

"You finally figured that out, huh?"

Anthony rolls his eyes. "Don't tell Michael, but he was right," he says.

"Oh I most certainly will tell him," says Terry. "If the poor boy's gotta be a rug at least he'll be a smug one."

Michael: 4
Terry: 4
Anthony: 2