Thanks to stillslightlynerdy for the continued use of her OC, M.C Fitzwilliam, and to JEGlass for letting me borrow Revel Handler.

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Lieutenant Colonel M.C. Fitzwilliam stepped out onto the balcony of her apartment. It was a beautiful Saturday in Arendelle City. The sky was a gorgeous bright blue, sunlight reflected off the deep blue surface of the fjord, and a fresh breeze blew gently across her face. Sipping her coffee, Fitz took a moment to appreciate the spectacular view.

She still couldn't quite believe the quality of the accommodations she had received as a perk of her position as the military attaché at the American embassy in Arendelle. Her apartment was in the coveted Arenfjord district of the city, nestled in a hillside overlooking the fjord and the quaint historic waterfront shopping district. When she walked out through her building's front door, she was only steps from some of the best restaurants and shops in the country, and only blocks from several raucous pubs whose clientele drew heavily from the ships that came into the fjord on a daily basis.

Her boss, Ambassador Smithfield, told her that the accommodations were partly to make up for the hardship of Arendelle's winters. If you were going to freeze your ass off for over half the year, you might as well do so in comfort, he said.

Fitz didn't normally give much thought to such things. In her usual duty assignments, having four solid walls and a roof qualified as the lap of luxury, so she was more than satisfied with this arrangement. Besides, there was really only one place in Arendelle where she would rather lay her head.

She looked across the fjord at Arendelle Castle and sighed. A month spent on the small-talk-and-canapes diplomatic circuit, and she'd only seen the queen once. Queen Elsa had smiled warmly and welcomed her back to Arendelle, but she had been monopolized by others who ranked a lot higher than the American military attaché. Since then, no opportunities to request the pleasure of the queen's company for, say, a quiet dinner or helicopter ride into the scenic mountains for a picnic, had presented themselves. At this point, Fitz was almost desperate enough to seek the assistance of the Queen's sister.

Almost, but not quite. Just the mental image of the shit-eating grin that was sure to light up Princess Anna's face at such a request was enough to keep Fitz from asking.

Not to mention the crap she would get from Bit Lockhart, who had steadfastly refused to broker any non-official contact with Elsa.

He just likes to torture me.

Her doorbell rang. Fitz strode through her apartment and peered through the peephole, seeing nothing but a blue-green eyeball.

Speaking of torture…

She opened the door. The Crown Princess of Arendelle stood there, grinning broadly. Kristoff Bjorgman and Bit Lockhart stood just behind her, their grins only slight less broad.

"Good morning, Fitz!" Anna sang.

"Good morning, Your Highness," Fitz said as the princess barged past her into the apartment. "What a pleasant surprise."

"Pfft. How many times do I have to tell you to call me Anna?" Anna eyed Fitz's bathrobe critically. "Go get dressed. We'll wait."

"Dressed for what?" Fitz asked. Something casual, apparently – Anna was wearing shorts, sneakers, and a flannel shirt thrown over a tee with a…sandwich? on it. Kristoff wore jeans and a tee with a reindeer on it. Bit was wearing a sport coat, probably to conceal his weapon.

"The ribbon-cutting for the new ride at Adventureland Arendelle, of course!"

"Of course?" Fitz shot a glance at Bit, who gave her a smile that was a touch too innocent. Bastard. "Anna, I really don't – "

Anna and Kristoff exchanged glances, then a crafty look flashed across Anna's face. "Elsa will be there…" she crooned.

Shit! Fitz gave Bit the stink-eye, then turned on her heel and stomped into her bedroom to get dressed.

It was still a beautiful Saturday at Adventureland Arendelle. The sun was still shining, the breeze was still fresh, the sky was still blue, and the Queen of Arendelle was still the loveliest woman Fitz had ever set eyes on.

"Hey, Elsa!" Anna waved to her sister.

Fitz stood a little straighter as the Queen and her bodyguard, Revel Handler, approached them. Even dressed casually in leggings, flats, and a long-sleeved blue tee that said "Let It Go" on the front, Elsa was a vision. Her blonde hair was in a long braid that draped over one shoulder, with loose strands dancing around her face in the breeze. The sky now had competition for its beauty in the Queen's crystal-blue eyes.

"Good morning, Your Majesty," Fitz said with a little bow, her heart thumping a bit harder.

"Good morning, Colonel," Elsa said with a smile. "What brings you out here today?"

"The Crown Princess insisted I accompany her, Your Majesty."

"Oh she did, did she?" Elsa raised an eyebrow at her sister, who just smiled at her with wide-eyed innocence.

The park manager scurried up to them. "Your Majesty, we're ready for you."

He led the group over to the podium in front of the entrance to the new ride. Elsa gave a short speech.

"…and we now officially declare Adventure Arendelle's newest attraction, Marshmallow's Fury, open for business!"

Elsa, Anna, and the park manager awkwardly wielded a giant pair of scissors to cut the big red ribbon across the ride's entrance.

The park manager stepped up to the podium. "Marshmallow's Fury is an exciting addition to our park. It can accommodate 32 passengers at a time, seated in eight sections of four. Once secured in the gondola, the passengers will be raised to a height of over 300 feet. When it reaches its maximum height, the gondola will rotate 90 degrees forward so that the riders are facing the ground. They will remain suspended that way for anywhere from one to five seconds. Then the car will release and plummet toward the ground, allowing the riders to experience five full seconds of free-fall weightlessness!"

No thanks, Fitz thought.

"I would now like to invite Queen Elsa and Princess Anna to select two other people to accompany them on the maiden run."

Anna grinned wickedly and whispered in Elsa's ear. The Queen stepped up to the podium and said, "We would like to invite Chief Warrant Officer Kristoff Bjorgman of the Arendelle Army Air Corps and Lieutenant Colonel M.C. Fitzwilliam of the United States Embassy to join us for this exciting ride."

I've been set up.

Kristoff whooped with delight and headed for the ride. Fitz's mind raced as she tried to figure out a way to gracefully decline the invitation. Then Bit's voice said softly in her ear, "Come on, Fitz, you don't want the Queen to think the bad-ass Nightstalker is afraid of an amusement park ride, do you?"

"Why aren't you going?" Fitz hissed. "Aren't you supposed to be looking after Princess Jump-First-Think-Later?"

Bit shrugged. "I'm too big for the safety harnesses."

"What about Handler? Why can't he go?"

"Hey, she invited you."

Elsa, Anna, and Kristoff had already climbed into the gondola. Queen Elsa was watching her expectantly. Resigning herself to the inevitable, Fitz joined them, taking the empty seat next to the Queen. The safety bars lowered over her shoulders, and she fumbled with the belt that locked it into place.

"This doesn't seem right," she said as she struggled with it.

"It's supposed to snap in and stay down," Elsa said as she tried to help. Fitz had a bad moment as she pictured the ride starting before she got the damn thing secured, but it finally snapped into place. "See? Like that."

Fitz nodded, hoping her anxiety wasn't too obvious.

"Don't worry, you won't fall out. These things are very safe." Elsa's words failed to reassure her.

"Hey, Anna," Kristoff said. "Did you hear about the guy who died on a ride like this at Six Flags Southern Isles?"

"Oh, be quiet, Kristoff," Anna said, but she was unable to smother a giggle.

Kristoff enthusiastically continued his litany of doom and gloom. "It's true. It was a guy about Bit's age. Had a heart attack or something. I think they said his safety harness wasn't snapped in right. What a way to go. Of course, they said that if the heart attack hadn't killed him, the fall would have done it."

"Kristoff…" Elsa said in a warning tone as the color drained from Fitz's face.

"It's fine, Your Majesty," Fitz said. "He thinks he's being clever, but truth is the poor guy just isn't bright enough for it."

"Hey!" Kristoff protested, laughing.

"She's right, you know," Anna said. "I mean, you talk for your Humvee."

"I totally agree," Elsa chimed in.

"Oh, thanks for making it anonymous!" Kristoff said.

"And there we have it," Fitz said as Elsa and Anna laughed.

"Wait, what?" Kristoff facepalmed as he realized what he'd said. He put a hand to Anna's mouth before she could say anything else. "Don't patronize me."

The ride shuddered into motion and began its ascent up the steel tower.

"Ooh, I can see the castle from here!" Elsa exclaimed.

Fitz was too busy digging her fingers into the safety bars to appreciate the childlike wonder in the Queen's voice. She barely stifled a whimper when the car came to a jolting halt at the top and rotated forward until they were facing the ground. Fitz squeezed her eyes shut.

Anna crowed, "This is so coo – AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The four passengers screamed at the tops of their lungs as the car released and they plummeted face-first for over 300 feet. When Fitz dared to open her eyes, she found that they had returned to the starting point.

"Now that was fun!" Elsa exclaimed as she freed herself from the safety harness.

"Is it…is it over already?" Fitz croaked.

"Mommy…" Kristoff whimpered.

"Can we go back and get my stomach?" Anna groaned.

"What a bunch of wimps," Elsa said. "So much for the bad-ass helicopter pilots."

No one offered a retort as they shakily exited the car.

"What do you mean, I am not permitted on this?" shouted a shrill voice at the entrance to the ride.

They turned to see the ride attendant holding a yellow stick up next to the ambassador from Weselton. "Sorry buddy, rules are rules."

"This is unacceptable! I am a victim of discrimination! I demand to see the Queen!"

Elsa giggled, then composed her face into a regal mask. "I'm afraid he's right, Ambassador. Even the queen can't change the rules. They're in place for your safety."

"You should've worn the boots with the higher heels," Anna suggested helpfully.

Weselton spluttered with indignation as the royal sisters hurried away, giggling.

Bit and Revel were waiting for them at the ride's exit. "Well, that looked like fun," Bit said with a huge grin.

Fitz gave him a scorching glare, full of the promise of later retribution. The group walked up the midway.

"Hey, check this out!" Kristoff said. "The Great Arendellan Scream Machine!"

They all stopped to take a look. It was an old-fashioned wooden roller coaster. Fitz watched with consternation as a car climbed an impossibly high incline, only to drop suddenly and rocket through a series of double loops and corkscrews.

"Oh, doesn't that look exciting?" Elsa asked her.

"That's not the first word that comes to mind," Fitz said, "but yes, 'exciting' would probably be one way to describe it."

'Nauseating' and 'unsettling' would be two others…

"Let's go get in line," Anna said.

Elsa looked up at Fitz's face and said, "You two go ahead. I want to get a snack. Will you walk with me, Colonel?"

Fitz breathed a sigh of relief. It seemed the Queen had just rescued her.

They walked along the midway until Elsa spotted a funnel cake stand. "Ooh, funnel cakes! I haven't had one of those since I was a little girl."

They joined the line in front of the stand, where several people offered to let Elsa jump the line. Elsa politely declined, saying that she could wait as well as anyone else, an attitude Fitz found enormously appealing, especially after a month of dealing with pompous diplomats.

"May I ask you a question, Colonel?" Elsa said, breaking into her thoughts.

"Of course, Your Majesty."

"Anna has told me so much about you – she has a pretty bad case of hero-worship. She talks all the time about your exploits and your abilities as a pilot. I've flown with Anna a few times myself, and quite honestly, that's a wilder ride than anything they have here. So I'm wondering…you don't seem to care much for…this?" She gestured around them.

Fitz flushed. "It's not the ride, Your Majesty. It's more about…who's driving. And in here, it's not me."

"Ah. I see."

"Wild rides are fine as long as I'm in control. Amusement park rides – or your sister at the stick – not so much."

Elsa laughed. "Well, being a bit of a control freak myself, I certainly understand. Although I do enjoy the unpredictability of Anna's flying. So much more fun than my regular pilots."

"I would love to take you for a wild ride." The words slipped out before Fitz could stop them, and her face lit up like a blast furnace. I'm going to need a crowbar to get my foot out of my mouth.

Elsa lifted one perfectly-shaped brow. "Be careful, Colonel, I may take you up on that."

Fitz was rescued from a reply by the nasal voice of the funnel cake lady. "What'll it be?"

Before Fitz could upbraid the woman for speaking so informally to the Queen, Elsa ordered a funnel cake and two coffees. The funnel cake lady set two steaming cups and the hot, greasy, deep-fried, sugar-coated treat on the counter. Fitz insisted on paying; what else could she offer in recompense for her automatic mouth?

"That'll be twenty kroners," the funnel cake lady said.

"Twenty kroners for that?" Fitz protested.

"Yep."

"That's robbery!"

"Yeah, well, welcome to Adventureland Arendelle. Have a nice day."

Fitz grumbled and handed over a 20-kroner note.

"Here, share this with me," Elsa said, breaking off a piece of the funnel cake. "It's huge. I can't possibly eat it all." She held up the paper plate.

Fitz broke off a piece and ate it as she pondered the adorableness of the Queen of Arendelle with powdered sugar all around her mouth and on the tip of her nose. They munched the funnel cake and drank their coffee as they walked back to the Great Arendellan Scream Machine, arriving just in time to meet Anna and Kristoff as they staggered out of the ride.

"That was awesome! Kristoff screamed like a little girl," Anna said.

"Yes, yes, I did," Kristoff said. "Mostly because that lap bar was pressing down so hard. A couple more minutes and I could've been singing for the Arendelle Boys' Choir."

Anna saw Elsa's face and grinned. "Hang on, sis." She licked her thumb and used it to wipe the powdered sugar off her sister's nose.

"Ewww, Anna, stop!"

"You have powdered sugar all over your face."

"I have a napkin."

"Yeah, but this is more fun," Anna said, licking her thumb again. "Payback's a binch, isn't it?"

Elsa jerked away and scrubbed at her face with a napkin. She looked up at Fitz, who gestured at the corner of her mouth. Elsa's tongue flicked out to lick away the sugar, and Fitz struggled desperately to derail the Train of Inappropriate Thoughts that suddenly raced through her head at full throttle.

She looked away to find Bit giving her a knowing grin. "Shut up," she hissed at him.

"I didn't say anything!"

"I can hear you thinking it!"

Bit rolled his eyes.

"C'mon, let's look for another ride!" Anna said, taking off down the midway.

Elsa handed the rest of the funnel cake to Fitz and followed her sister. Fitz offered it to Bit, who just shook his head and said, "It's hard enough to keep up with her, that'll just make it worse." He strode after his charge. Fitz shrugged and wolfed down the rest of the cake, being careful not to get sugar all over herself, then hurried to catch up.

"Hey, look, the Corona Cyclone," Anna said. "Let's check it out."

Fitz hung back as the others headed for the ride. Or at least she did until she noticed that Revel Handler was not accompanying the Queen. "You're letting her ride unescorted?" she asked in surprise.

"I don't do roller coasters," Handler said. "They make me ill, and puking on one's sovereign is bad for one's career. And for keeping one's ass unfrozen."

Fitz saw Elsa glance back over her shoulder, then Anna and Kristoff smirked at her. She let out a sigh, then checked out the Corona Cyclone.

Okay, this doesn't look too bad. Not as long as that Scream Machine thing. I can do this; it's only a couple of minutes, right?

She squared her shoulders and marched after the Queen.

As they found seats on the ride, they were surprised to see the ambassador from Weselton boarding the car behind them. Then the young woman who operated the ride hustled over with a yellow stick and ordered him back onto the platform. She held the stick up next to him and shook her head.

The ambassador shook his fist. "We're leaving! We'll not spend another skilling in this place!"

The rest of the riders cheered and clapped as he stomped away, trailed by his hulking bodyguard. The young woman went back to her controls and spoke into the microphone.

"GOODAFTERNOONWELCOMETOTHECORONACYCLONEDONOTATTEMPTTOMOVETHESAFETYHARNESSESTHEYWILLAUTOMATICALLYENGAGEBEFORETHERIDEBEGINS WEASKTHATYOUKEEPYOURARMSINSIDETHECARATALLTIMESANYONEWHOISPREGNANTORSUFFERSFROMAHEARTORBACKCONDITIONSSHOULD
NOTRIDETHISRIDEALLCHILDRENUNDERAGETWELVEMUSTBEACCOMPANIEDBYANADULTTHANKYOUFORRIDINGTHECORONACYCLONEANDWEHOPEYOUENJOY
YOURDAYHEREATADVENTUREARENDELLE."

"What did she say?" asked Fitz.

Elsa shrugged. The woman flipped a switch and the safety harnesses began to move. First the shoulder harness came down and locked into place. Then a T-bar rose from the floor and moved up between the riders' legs, pressing very firmly against their laps. Fitz, Elsa, and Anna gasped, and Kristoff let out a yelp of pain.

"Auuugggghhh," Kristoff groaned, his eyes watering. "I thought this was the Corona Cyclone, not the Northuldra Nutcracker!"

Fitz's sympathy was in short supply. At least I'm not the only who will be uncomfortable on this ride.

The operator flipped another switch and the ride moved away from the platform. It took a lazy turn and moved slowly up a steep incline. Fitz grabbed the shoulder harness in a death grip as the car crested the incline, then relaxed when she saw that the track only dropped a few feet before curving to the left.

"This isn't so – AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

The roller coaster plunged headlong toward the ground, then whipped through two inverted loops before straightening out. Before Fitz could catch her breath, it rolled to its side, raced through another turn, then rocketed through two corkscrews before slowing down to approach the platform.

When the ride stopped, they freed themselves from their harnesses, Elsa, Anna, and Kristoff were laughing and talking as they climbed out of the car. Fitz did not feel like laughing or talking. She felt rather…unwell.

"Oh, no," Anna said when she caught a glimpse of Fitz's face.

"Uh-oh, she's gonna hurl," Kristoff said.

Elsa shot both of them frosty glares as she took Fitz's arm and helped her off the ride. She led Fitz to a bench, then stood next to her, pressing a cool hand to Fitz's flushed face. Revel and Bit hurried up, worried looks on their faces.

"Ten kroners says she yaks on Elsa right when she least expects it," Kristoff said.

Anna smacked him on the arm. A few seconds later, much to Elsa's chagrin and Fitz's embarrassment, the coffee and funnel cake made a violent and unwelcome reappearance.

The car pulled up in front of Fitz's apartment building. Bit got out and hustled around to open the door, but Fitz threw it open before he could get there, eager to put the disastrous day behind her.

"Um…Fitz?" Anna said hesitantly.

"What?" Fitz snarled.

"Uh, well, if you feel up to it later, there's this new pub over at The Waterfront that just opened a few days ago. It's called The Fiddlin' Fish. They brew their own beer and everything. We thought we'd go check it out. Wanna come?"

Fitz snapped. "Do I look like a masochist to you? I let you drag me off to an unamusing amusement park, and I end up being humiliated and physically ill!" She hauled herself out of the car and slammed the door, then leaned back into the window. "I've done some pretty stupid things before, but I really outdid myself today. It is not often that one is given the opportunity to puke greasy overpriced pastry all over a reigning monarch after riding a torture device cleverly disguised as roller coaster!"

Anna tried and failed to cover a grin, Kristoff was openly laughing, and even Bit was struggling to keep a straight face. Fitz spun on her heel and stalked toward her building.

"If you change your mind, you know where to find us!" Anna shouted after her.

Fitz didn't look back, just raised a middle-finger salute as she yanked open the door to her building.

Feeling much more human after a long shower, Fitz uncorked a bottle of Laphroaig single-malt scotch and poured herself a couple of fingers. A reward for not only surviving the day, but also for getting through it without killing anyone. Namely, a small, mischievous, red-headed lieutenant who also happened to be a princess.

She sipped her scotch as she walked into her living room. She had planned on making a dent in her Netflix queue – she was several seasons behind in Forged in Fire - but for some reason now she found herself utterly disinterested.

She walked around her large, well-appointed living room. Her huge, well-appointed, silent, empty living room. In her huge, well-appointed, silent, empty apartment.

With a sigh, she pulled out her phone and looked up the directions to The Fiddlin' Fish.

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A/N: The rides in this story are based on real amusement park rides: Marshmallow's Fury is inspired by Falcon's Fury at Busch Gardens in Tampa; The Great Arendellan Scream Machine is inspired by The Great American Scream Machine at Six Flags over Georgia; and the Corona Cyclone is based on the Carolina Cyclone at Carowinds in Charlotte.

The Fiddlin' Fish is the name of one of my favorite local breweries here in NC.