Set somewhere after "for men who are also wolves" but before "as quiet as a closed mouth."

Thanks to Terri, as always, for encouraging me to write this BS, and to everyone else who mentioned wanted a scene with K-Unit. This probably wasn't what you had in mind but I had so much fun writing it!

Alex is babysitting when his worst nightmare occurs.

He's got Geoffrey, tiny and small and barely six months old, in one arm, and in the other, the bottle of milk Nina prepped for him before she left. Geoffrey is rejecting the bottle, which is fair, because he's used to drinking his milk straight from the breast, but Alex is pretty sure he can talk the baby into drinking it, and the latest Bond movie is playing on the television on low volume, and Nina is only supposed to be gone for a couple of hours, just long enough to get groceries and make it back. Wolf is out with some of his friends, Alex supposes. That's fine too. They're not really the kind of acquaintances who like being around each other.

He hears the heavy footsteps falling on the stairs first and doesn't pay attention to it, because a group of really annoying overgrown frat boys lives on the floor above them and Nina is forever complaining about them (and not so subtly hinting at wanting to move, even though it goes way over Wolf's head), but then he hears the doorknob jangling and he's on his feet in an instant.

Geoffrey's bottle hits the floor and Alex tenses, has an eye on four possible exits and three solid hiding places just in case, but then he registers the keys and the sound of the lock clicking out of the place, and relaxes just in time for Wolf to push open the door and let himself and his two big, muscly friends into the apartment.

There's a beat.

"Fuck," Alex says, finally, "Some warning before you come barging in like a caveman, maybe? Jesus. Were you raised by actual fucking wolves?"

Wolf glares and points at him with one hand while the other tosses his house keys onto the table near the door. "Don't say 'fuck' in front of my kid."

"…Cub?"

Alex ignores the two men gaping at him in the doorway, and carefully leans down to pick up Geoffrey's bottle, carrying it—and the baby—into the kitchen to rinse it off. "I was trying to figure out how to jump out of the window without hurting your kid, so just so you know, if someone ever does break in while I'm here, Cub 2.0 is in pretty good hands."

"Did you just call my son Cub 2.0?"

"…that's actually Cub? What the hell? Cub is your babysitter?"

Alex glares at Eagle. "Babysitter is a strong word. I prefer hanging out."

"I preferred you when you were scared of us," Eagle retorts, and sticks his tongue out. Alex flips him off, and Wolf protests the gesture, and Snake silently watches the interaction with his eyebrows raised.

After an awkward handoff of Geoffrey (go figure, the kid latches right onto the bottle when it's Wolf feeding him), Snake finally says, "I'm assuming you have a real name."

"You would assume," Alex agrees. He sticks his hands in his pockets and waggles his eyebrows mischievously when he says, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours?"

There's this awkward silence where it's clear that Snake has no idea how to reply to that, mouth parting in surprise. Wolf snorts. "His name is Alex. He's still a smartass, but Nina likes him, so he babysits sometimes."

Alex squints at him, annoyed that Wolf is ruining his game, and adds, "I'm also having an affair with your wife."

Then he leaves the room, sliding into his shoes in the hallway. He pauses in the open door long enough to hear Wolf tell the others, "I can't tell if that was sarcasm or not," before he leaves.

He could probably go his entire life without seeing K-Unit again. Except for maybe Ben, all things considered. Wolf, too, he supposes, but only because he likes Nina and Geoffrey.

Alex bumps into Nina on his way down, and she smiles brightly at him as she carries her sack of groceries up the stairs. "James is back already?"

"Yes," Alex says, and then, "Hey, if he asks, we're having an affair."

Nina barely blinks. "Call me when it's legal, honey," she says, and blows him a kiss as he takes off down the stairs, laughing.

Wolf texts him later, when he's watching John write on his blog while Sherlock screechily plays violin. Snake wanted you to know their names so you're on an even playing field. Chris & Connor.

Alex texts back, Still fucking ur wife, and then, immediately after, And NO, I have no interest in anymore team reunions.

Wolf's reply comes ten minutes later, when John has stopped blogging and started bickering with Sherlock over the volume of Sherlock's violin, which only makes Sherlock play worse and louder, if that's possible. You're not even part of the team. Brat.

Alex feels stupidly warm inside, which is gross, because it's Wolf. But if Sherlock and John are like his parents—whose sex life he knows way too much about, probably—then Wolf feels kind of like an older brother. Alex wouldn't extend that same comparison to Snake or Eagle, all things considered. As far as he's concerned, they have zero redeeming qualities. At least he got to push Wolf out of a plane.

He sets his phone down and says to John and Sherlock, "If you're going to use arguing as foreplay, please stop doing it in front of me," and it flusters John enough that he stops trying to break Sherlock's violin long enough for Sherlock to hold it high above his head, far out of John's reach. Alex snorts. Things aren't perfect here, and they probably won't ever be. Sometimes he still gets the urge to just run and never come back. But this feels more and more like home everyday—and getting comfortable with Nina and Wolf isn't helping.

But that's okay, too, he tells himself. As long as he never calls Wolf James, it's not that serious.

That's what he tells himself, anyways.

AN: And he obviously does later consider Wolf and Nina family, but he probably still denies it because "it's not real if I don't call Wolf by his real name." Okay, Alex, keep telling yourself that.

If anyone has any other requests for little ficlets like this, I'd be more than interested in hearing them! I love this dear little universe and I'm having fun playing in it right now, so I'd love to know what you guys want to see!

Thanks a million,

Hale (: