A/N This story has Newt struggling with bulimia and disorder eating. If you're triggered, please don't read and get help! In this story Newt is still depressed and he tried to kill himself back in Britain by overdose. I needed him to be able to run for this plot which is why he overdosed instead of jumping off a building. If there are any grammatically errors I'm so sorry I wrote this when I was exhausted If you think I should continue please review and favorite!

It started off small. Newt was stressed, way more stressed than the average teenager should be. He was trying to balance family, friends, cross country and school and he felt as though he was splitting at the seams. The first time it happened was when he was applying for early admission to a college that he didn't even want to go to. Yet his parents wanted him to go. So, he applied. As he was writing the essay all he felt was misery, his family went out without him to "let him focus." When he finally finished 3 hours later he went to the kitchen to make dinner. His mind was on autopilot and he found himself putting left overs in the oven while he was waiting he gorged on chips and chocolate. When the leftovers were finished Newt ate those awhile. Newt never had a very big appetite, it felt as though he was in a trance looking at all the dirty dishes. His stomach felt queasy, not used to the amount of food Newt consumed. He found himself sticking two fingers down his throat in attempts to relieve the pain. He watched in fascination as what he just digested came up looking like brown sludge. Somehow it made him feel better. So, he kept doing it in a cycle of gagging, throwing up and flushing. When he finished he felt a weird sense of accomplishment, he finally felt relaxed. That night he felt more at piece then he has for a while. Newt wasn't dumb, he knew making yourself throw up wasn't safe, but he told himself it was fine. Newt also did some research he looked up the side effect and realized he couldn't do it to constantly or his face would swell, and he would get yellow teeth, along with some other particularly nasty side effects. When he first started doing it he decided to only do it when he ate something he shouldn't, that way he can still grasp at trying to be health

Newt P.O.V

That next Friday I went out for pizza with Minho and our friends Thomas and Teresa. I had English and Art with Teresa and Math and Gym with Thomas. I've gotten much closer with them both after I joined the cross-country team. I had a bit of a crush on Thomas ever since I met him. He's quite fit with deep chocolate brown eyes and a beautiful crooked smile. Which is really the only reason I agreed to go out with them despite the piles of homework I have. Teresa and Thomas are siblings and they are practically conjoined at the hip. Teresa is sweet, yet sassy with bright blue eyes and dark hair that clashes with her complexion. When I got to the Pizza Palace Minho waved me over.

"Over here dear." Minho said loudly turning a few heads.

I could feel my face turn read, but I smirked anyway. "Miss me honey?"

"Of course! Those 4 hours without you almost killed me!" Minho exclaimed rather dramatically causing our table to dissolve into giggles. Although Minho doesn't seem like it he's very much straight, unlike me. I'm very grateful for Minho he's accepted me for who I am. The conversation was pleasant and comforting, I tried to ignore my stomach turning at the sight of Thomas in a nice button down blue shirt. After ordering our pizzas the topic turned to school. I groaned I felt as though I never could escape my least favorite topic.

"I swear I'm going fail English." Minho groaned.

Teresa rolled her eyes "Minho you speak English." I snorted in laughter.

"I'm going fail History." I shared honestly my parents were on my back about my history grade which was a low C. In my defense I'm taking American history and I lived in Britain until my freshman year. History has always been difficult for me.

"I can tutor you." Thomas piped up.

"Are you sure?" I don't want to be a bother." I could feel my heart race. Sure, Thomas and I were friends, but this is our first time hanging out of school, so I was shocked by his proposal.

"Don't worry, you won't be a bother." He said smiling at me.

"Bloody brilliant, thanks Tommy!" I exclaimed.

Thomas was about to respond when Teresa interrupted "I thought you didn't like to be called Tommy."

I could feel myself blushing "I'm sorry it just slipped out."

"Teresa, I don't like it when YOU call me Tommy. No worries Newt you can call Tommy whenever you want." Thomas said throwing a wink my way. Teresa was looking between Thomas and I while smirking.

"Can I call you Tommy?" Minho asked.

"No." Thomas answered.

"Please my tommy bear" Minho said while batting his eyelashes.

"Nope." Tommy said popping the P.

"I think it's the accent." Minho stage whispered to Teresa.

Teresa smirked at Thomas and said, "Oh I think it's something else."

We fell back into regular conversation until our food came. Ever since a few days ago when I threw up I've been feeling very self- conscious of my food intake. I forced myself to not feel guilty, remembering that I can get rid of the food later.

"Carb loading is the best." Minho groaned while leaning back, holding his stomach.

I rolled my eyes, "We don't even have a meet tomorrow." I pointed out.

"Hey I'm just practicing!" Minho huffed out.

After looking at Minho seemingly amused, Thomas turned to me "Did you like the pizza ok?" He gestured to my plate where I had half of slice left. I only ate about a slice and a half of pizza, but I was hoping that the constant conversation no one would notice.

I could feel my face turn red. "Umm yeah, the food is splendid actually I just don't eat very much." That was somewhat true, unless I was about to purge then it seems like I can eat my kitchen easily.

He looked at me calculatingly "I've never heard of a runner with a small appetite."

I looked at Minho for help, thankfully he was following the conversation instead of trying to discreetly stare at Teresa. "It's true Tommy boy, Newt here has the appetite of a bird, which is probably the only reason why some may consider him fast."

I groaned at the exaggeration and hit him on the arm playfully "Slim It Shank! You wish you had my endurance."

"But you wished you had guns like these." Minho started flexing, causing Thomas and I to groan and Teresa to giggle. After a bit more bantering, and a little flirting between Teresa and Minho we got the check, and split the price of our three pizzas four ways.

We all walked out together I parked on the opposite side of the parking lot. I checked the time on my phone and said a quick to everyone while agreeing that yes, we should do this again. Once I got a few feet away someone grabbed my wrist and my blood froze. I turned around happily surprised to see Thomas. "Bloody hell Tommy." I gasped clutching my chest dramatically.

Tommy started to chuckle "Sorry Newt the thing is I was um.. serious about the tutoring if you really needed help." He was rubbing the back of his neck his face getting more and more red.

Aww he's nervous I realized. "Of course, Tommy! I take any help I can get."

This seemed to relax him a bit, "Can I have your number? You know so we can plan a time to meet up."

I tried to conceal my happiness, but I felt my face split into a grin. "Definitely!" I recited my number to him.

He smiled back at me. "Thanks Newt I'll text you tonight."

I drove home with a feeling of hope that I hadn't felt for a very long time.

A/N Reviews make me happy :)