Okay, wow, the reception for the last one-shot was just... I don't even know how to describe it, it was just phenomenal, and those reviews, it just warms my heart, knowing that so many people laughed at my stupidity. Well, if you liked it that much, I guess it wouldn't hurt to write another chapter for this little story. Well, uh, you asked and I will deliver, I bring to you, Suction Cup Jaune, The Suck for Remnant!

Previously on Suction Cup Jaune, our hero defeated the false fall maiden with nothing but words and caused a dragon to flee from Beacon tower with nothing but his steely gaze and a couple of swears, yup, all in a day's work. And now, we see our hero dangling off the side of the tower once more, making his way down.

But who's to say that even that task wouldn't be a little trouble? As he climbed his way down the side of the tower, he could have sworn he heard someone yelling, he looked down at the base of the tower and saw a woman in all white with a megaphone in hand. "Well, this is gonna be fun." Jaune said to himself, and so begins the mischief.

General James Ironwood sighed as he stood at the base of Beacon tower. The mangled corpse of the one who almost single handedly took down beacon lay buried in the concrete before him. His second in command was dealing with her killer? An idiot, a hero? He had no clue. "Hey!" his second in command yelled through a megaphone, "this is illegal!" And a response came from the top of the tower, "I know that but fuck you anyway!"

"F-fuck you!" "Fuck you!" "Fuck you!" As they kept trading 'Fuck you's', the General had a thought, "Hmm, I don't think I've ever heard Winter swear, he must be very... frustrating to deal with." After trading fuck you's, the man dangling off the side of the tower decided to respond with something else, "Hey, I wrote you a song!" The second in command looked confused muttering a confused "What?" "It goes a little something like this." Then a few cords of a guitar strummed and the voice quickly followed up with "Fuck you!"

The General seemed a little confused, but it was about something else entirely, "How did that boy get a guitar up there?" He thought to himself, now that... is an excellent question.

Of course, after dealing with this man for nearly ten minutes, trying to convince him to get off the side of the tower, Ironwood had had enough. He ordered to a nearby sniper, "Take him down." And a soldier behind the good General fired his dust rifle and hit the blonde on the tower in the back. His body fell just a few feet away from the fall maiden's corpse. Suddenly, surprising everyone there, the young man immediately bounced back up and in perfect health. "You can't kill Suction Cup Jaune, look at me go!" He declared as he ran off. The crowd was completely silent, in shock as to what they had experienced, until a familiar drunk uncle said "Well son of a bitch." And with that, the General smacked him up the back of his head with his robotic hand, causing the Drunken Huntsman to fall to the floor.

(Everything above this text is thanks to Jun's Venom, you're a champ. Cause everyone knows I'm not original enough to write a scene this good.)

The General sighed and rubbed his forehead, "This is going to be a long night, isn't it?" He thought to himself, but he regained his composure once more, "Schnee, grab a couple of soldiers and capture that man, once that is done, I want you to bring him in for interrogation." He ordered to his subordinate, and with a swift and crisp salute, the specialist made chase, in an attempt to capture this unknown assailant, at least, that's what they thought he was.

Slowly, the Drunken Huntsman lifted himself off of the ground and dusted himself off, and before opening his mouth, he decides to clear his throat, "What the fuck Jimmy?!" He yelled at the Atlesian General. With that, the General gave a heavy sigh, "This is going to be a very long night." He thought to himself.

After hunting down the "hero" of Beacon tower and bringing him in to the interrogation center, Winter sighed heavily, "I never thought someone so young and inexperienced looking could be so fast." She thought to herself. Feeling exhausted from all the running, she sat down in one of the chairs in the interrogation room, she's even slumping, how unladylike.

As she sat in the chair, she thought to herself, "How could someone like that boy defeat that woman as well as that Grimm Dragon? It just doesn't add up, it's almost as if he scared them off. But Grimm don't feel fear, so what could be so terrifying that it instilled fear into the very culmination of fear?" These thoughts has begun to worry Winter, could this child be dangerous? She felt... tense.

She shook those thoughts off, there was no time to be worrying, she had to call the General about the assailant, that word felt wrong in her mind, why should they be arresting the boy that just saved Beacon? Well, these thoughts were for another time. She pulled out her scroll from her pocket and dialed the General's number.

After a few moments of listening to the ringing scroll, she hears the call patch through, "Hello Schnee, did you catch that boy yet?" She hears the General ask through the scroll, what? No hello, no "Hi, how are you"? How inconsiderate.

After hearing the General's voice, her body instantly straightened out, "Yes General, although it was a little difficult, we caught the boy and brought him in. But if may sir, what is the point of bringing that boy?" She asked, a little worried, thinking that she may have overstepped her boundaries.

For a moment, the scroll remained silent, almost as if he were debating whether or not he should tell her, until the General cleared his throat. "Well, I want to see what he knows, if he knows what I suspect, then he would be willing to work with us, if he doesn't, well I might as well tell him. If a boy like him can kill that mastermind and route a Grimm Dragon, well, he could be what we need to turn the tide." He said, what he said most certainly did make sense from a militaristic point of view, but what if the boy were to refuse?

She shook those thoughts, this boy has her very worried, but he certainly wouldn't be able to break out of the interrogation room, so there should be nothing to worry about, right? "Of course, that makes sense General. Well, I will be waiting at the interrogation room for you." And with those words said, Winter hung up the call.

It had to of been about an hour since Suction Cup Jaune had been put in this stupid interrogation cell, honestly, this is how they repay him for saving the goddamn city? What a bunch of fucking ingrates, this is why Papa Suction Cup always said "Fuck the government.", because these Atlesian idiots don't know how to repay a man like Suction Cup Jaune.

For the most part, Suction Cup Jaune had been very patient with the Atlesian guards holding him in the cell, but the silence and the fact that he had been in here for about an hour with nothing to do was slowly withering away at that patience. "So do either of you want to tell me why you kidnapped me?" The blonde climber asked the guards in the room, he was just stopping this place in Vale to pick up a sandwich when suddenly he was tackled to the ground and dragged away, what a bunch of assholes. And it was such a nice establishment, but how was it still standing after the attack on Beacon? Meh, best not to overthink things.

"Please remain calm sir." One of the guards had said, remain calm?! A man like Suction Cup Jaune can never be calm, this man asks for the impossible! He can be patient, be calm is too far, this is like trying to get rid of an inalienable right!

Suction Cup Jaune bursts out of his seat and yells out, "You can't keep Suction Cup Jaune trapped, I'll suction cup my way out eventually!" With those words said, he starts climbing up the side of the wall, how did he even get those suction cups?

But as he starts climbing the wall, a man walks through the door, General James Ironwood to be specific, oh wonderful, we can actually get to the plot now. As he walks through the door, he asks, "Are you Suction Cup Jaune?" As for how he knows his name, I don't fucking know.

Suction Cup Man leaps off the wall he was sticking to and lands in the chair, and with that, he says, "Maybe, fuck you who wants to know?!" He yells, well that's a little rude to start on.

With that, General Ironwood raised his hand to his chest and said, "I'm General James Ironwood, Atlesian General and councilman." He said, wait, how the hell did a guy like this get on the Atlesian Council anyway? It just doesn't add up.

With that, Suction Cup Jaune leans forward and squints his eyes, before pointing at him and saying, "Yeah, Fuck You." Okay, that's understandable, I mean, the guy did bring a fucking army of hackable drones to Vale and single handedly fucked over the majority of the world, so yeah, I think a fuck you is necessary.

Ol' Ironwood had to take a second and breathe, he's not used to being disrespected, but he could really use this ally, so he takes his lumps and says, "You've done a lot of good with your suction cups today Mr Suction, and I feel as though you could do more good for the good people of Vale." Such praise, very wow. Incredible, truly inspiring words from Atlas's most competent general.

But instead of taking the praise like a normal person, Suction Cup Jaune let out a chuckle, "Me, do good for Vale? I was just checking off 'climb Beacon Tower' on my bucket list, then that bitch started yelling at me, and then killed herself. I'll add it to my kill count." He says, whoa, how big is that kill count?

The kill count comment did not go unnoticed by the good General, and it did not put him at ease, as a matter of fact, it did the opposite, it worried him. But he didn't have time to worry about this kill count, he needed people that could help against Salem, and honestly, Ozpin has been playing this whole scenario a little too passively, and it's about time that they had fought back. "It may be in your best interest to cooperate, a few minutes of your time is all I need." The 'good' General said.

To that, Suction Cup Jaune's eyes squinted and he let out a hum, "Hmm, I'm listening but still fuck you." He said calmly.

Ironwood pulls out three different photos from his coat and places them on the table in front of them, each of those photos showing a missile in a dark land, what kind of fantasy bullshit is that? "These images were taken deep in the Grimm Lands. We have reason to believe that a woman by the name of Salem is building her most powerful missile yet, and it's huge." He said, putting more emphasis on the U than he should.

"And signs seem to point towards a strike against Vale and Atlas," He said as he placed another photo on the table, this time there was a literal sign pointing towards the missile, whoever wrote 'we're gonna' on the sign has some pretty poor handwriting.

At this point, Suction Cup Jaune seemed frustrated at the thought of someone trying to bomb the strongest military on Remnant, "Do you honestly think this Salem lady is stupid enough to attack Atlas and Vale?" He asked.

To that, Ironwood took a deep breath and clasp his hands together, "Yeah." A simple answer to an easy question, Salem may queen of the Grimm, but there are points in time where even she has shown incompetence.

Suction Cup Jaune's eyes widened in surprise, but then his face got serious as he let out an, "Oh."

Ironwood then points to one of the photos on the table, and it shows the tip of the missile and a small hatch on the side of it. "We've located a hatch on the side of the missile that allows easy access to the warhead, where it can be disarmed." Ironwood said, to which Suction Cup Jaune just nods his head, pretending to understand half of the shit that just spewed out of Metaldick's mouth.

"And this is where you come in Mr. Cup. The hatch is pretty high up, and frankly, that would take a really expensive ladder." Ironwood continued, what kind of an idiot sees a hatch on the side of a nuclear warhead and thinks, 'Damn, we're gonna need a big ladder'?

But Suction Cup Jaune wasn't trying to do this out of the goodness of his heart, he had is own wants and needs, "So, what's in it for me?" He asked as he leaned forwards onto the table.

To that question, Ironwood simply chuckled as he pulled out a document from his pure white coat, "The Atlas Military and the Council of Vale are willing to grant you one free suction cup climb on anything you wish." He said, Ironwood had never thought that he would say those words in the same sentence.

"Are you sure that you're willing to give me that kind of power?" Suction Cup Jaune asked, if they go back on their end of the deal because of him doing something extreme, well, he'd probably just get his own nuclear warhead and finish off Salem's plan.

Ironwood simply turned his back to Suction Cup Jaune, and took a deep breath, "We've heard rumors Mr. Suction… Can you die?" He asked, unsure if he would believe any answer he was given.

To that, Suction Cup Jaune instantly replied, "You can't kill Suction Cup Jaune." He said in a matter of' factly tone.

"Then I believe we have a deal." Ironwood said, he was really hoping he wouldn't regret this.

"Fuck yeah, let's stop this crazy bitch!" Suction Cup Jaune yelled out as he signed the document that was laid out before him, agreeing to accept this dangerous mission.

This can only end poorly...

Secret Missile Compound… but we found it haha…

Salem was having a rather nice day today, the sky was as dark as usual, the sounds of death around her brought her so much joy, and soon her plan to bomb the Kingdoms of both Vale and Atlas was about to come to fruition.

However, there was this feeling of discomfort in the back of her mind, there's this sound that she keeps hearing that is ready to drive her bat shit insane… It's the sound of suction cups.

Salem walks towards a window overlooking the missile and sees a young blonde man climbing her missile. She instantly rushes out of the room and onto a nearby balcony and yells, "Hey, what the fuck are you doing?!" Profanity shows anger, and anger feeds the grimm their strength, so it's only natural that the Queen of the Grimm should swear.

"Climbing your missile with suction cups dumbass, what do you think?!" Suction Cup Jaune yelled back, you know, this situation seems very familiar…

"Why my missile?!"

"Why not your missile?!"

Salem dragged one of her pale hands down the side of her face, "You're delaying my plans to bomb the Kingdoms!" She yelled out in frustration.

"I'll delay your plans all I want, LOOK AT ME GO!" He yelled out as he flailed one of his arms around wildly.

"Don't you dare disarm my missile!" She yelled as she pointed a menacing finger at him, well, it wasn't actually all that menacing.

"NO, FUCK YOU!" He yelled back.

"Fuck YOU!"

"And fuck you right back you fucking porcelain doll!" He yelled as he hung from the missile.

"Do you have any idea who you are talking to?! I am the Queen of all Grimm, I have powers that rival that of the gods! I will have your head on a stick if you don't-" She was saying, only to be cut off.

"Hey, I wrote you a song!" He yelled, interrupting her stupid villain speech.

"What?" Salem asked as she quirked a brow.

"It goes a little something like this!" And with three strums of a guitar that he randomly summoned, he followed up with, "You're a bitch!"

To say that Salem was not amused was putting it lightly, as a matter of fact, she was seething with anger, but she couldn't let her adversary know that.

For a moment, the two had just stared each other down, the only sounds being that of the wind. Salem tried to break the silence and raised her index finger, "Uh-"

"Oh, you're a bitch, a bitch, a bitch, a bitch, a bitch, a BIIIITCH!" He sang as he played a sick blues riff and quickly followed it up with a harmonica solo, and where the hell did he get the harmonica?

After that sick harmonica solo, he then proceeded to present his favorite to Salem. One of Salem's eyes twitched slightly, never before had she ever been so disrespected, "Get the fuck off my missile this instant!"

"I can't!"

"Why the hell not?" Salem asked, actually curious as for why.

"Can't have you committing mass murder, dumbass!" Suction Cup Jaune yelled back, yeah, that's a pretty solid reason.

"Well, you sticking to the side of the missile isn't going to stop it, and you're really starting to piss me off!" Salem yelled back, she didn't even care if he knew about her anger.

"It probably doesn't help that I was hired by the Atlesian Government!" He yelled, ooh, should he have not of said that?

To that, Salem began to shake furiously, "You Atlesian dog!"

"Oh that got you real angry, didn't it?" He asked sarcastically.

"Goddammit!" Salem yelled in pure anger.

"Yup, I sure pissed her off now!" Suction Cup Jaune yelled, looking directly into the camera- I mean, what? There's no camera, hehe…

"That does it, no more stalling! I'm launching the missile!" Salem yelled as she ran back into the control room for the missile.

To that, Suction Cup Jaune just sat against the missile for a moment in complete silence, only to realize what was about to happen, "Uh oh…" He said, and shortly after, the missile was launched.

"Fuck!" He yelled out as he began to climb up towards the control panel. For every movement he made was accompanied by the word 'Fuck' and just as he made it to the panel, he tore it out and yelled, "Oh shit!" as he pulled out a random set of wires, hoping that he did something correctly, only for the panel to light up in flames.

With that, the missile quickly hit the ground and Salem stood on the balcony once more, waiting to see if Suction Cup Jaune would climb out of the rubble, only to spot the suction cups that he used still on the side of the missile.

She let a victorious smirk make its way onto her face, "You may have delayed my plans this time, man with Suction Cups, but you won't be able to delay them next time- OH FUCK!" She yelled out as she looked to the skies.

Suction Cup Jaune was parachuting slowly towards the ground, with his guitar in hand, "Oh, you're a biiiitch, YOU'RE A BIIIITCH, you're a BITCH!" He sang loudly as he made his way towards the ground, followed up by a pretty dope solo bit on the guitar. Salem seemed absolutely dumbfounded at the events that have just taken place.

With a final strum, Suction Cup Jaune ends his song with a final, "Bitch. Thanks Grimm lands, you've been horrible, FUCK OFF!" He yelled, and with that, he made his way back to the exfiltration point. And with that, the day was saved, the end, or is it?

Pyrrha Nikos had currently been resting since her duel with Cinder Fall, and being shot in the achilles tendon was certainly going to take some time to heal. But as she rested, she couldn't help but hear a familiar sound, the sounds of… suction cups?

She looked towards the window of her room and saw him, Suction Cup Jaune. He knocked on the glass gently, "How's it going there Red Head?" He asked calmly.

"Suction Cup Jaune?" She asked, why was he here?

"Hey there, I haven't seen you since last fall. How you feeling?" He asked kindly, he thought that since he was in the neighborhood, he might as well swing by, and with that government pardon, who's gonna stop him?

Pyrrha's eyes widened in surprise as she took the covers of her bed off of her and sat up, the least she could do is try to make herself seem presentable. "How have you been? I haven't seen you since, well, since you saved my life." She said, she'd never forget that day, the day that an idiot with suction cups saved her life.

Suction Cup Jaune simply shrugged his shoulder lightly, "I've been alright, I took a mission for Atlas and stopped some crazy lady from launching this missile into Vale. How about you, you feeling any better?" He asked, huh, who would have thought that Suction Cup Jaune could be empathetic.

"Oh, well my wounds have been healing rather well. You know, I don't think I ever got to properly thank you for saving me, back at Beacon, and… Well, thank you." She said kindly, a small smile on her face.

Suction Cup Jaune simply let out a chuckle, "Yeah, well, it's not a problem, if you ever need help you know who to call. Now, I better get going, I've got things to do and a sandwich to get, so yeah, get well soon." He said, and with that, he slid his way down the side of the building.

Pyrrha hadn't expected to see him again, but she was glad she saw him for the second time, and who knows, maybe she'll see him again. Maybe… maybe she'll be able to befriend him? Well, who knows what fate has in store.

With those thoughts in mind, Pyrrha laid back down in her bed and went back to bed, if she was going to befriend him, then she needs to be healthy first. With that, she fell asleep.

Whoo, I'm fucking done. Now then, to everyone who said to do a second chapter, I both love and hate you, I love you because I'm happy that I made this, but I hate you because you have made me dick over my sleep schedule. Oh well, who cares?

But yeah, if a third Suction Cup Man video comes out, you should expect me to write a third chapter for whatever this is, so yeah. Anyway, it's been real, follow, favorite, review, do whatever it is you do, now I'm going to bed.