His fingers trailed lightly down my back making me shiver in anticipation by his touch. I could feel him as he smiled against my shoulder as he kissed his way down my neck moving towards my breasts, where he'd already taken my bra off. I wanted him so much in this moment, I loved him. I was his and he was mine and that was I knew.

He brought his kisses back up my body, to my neck, my cheek and finally back to my lips. We pulled each other closer like we were trying to absorb one another. I was so ready for him that I began squirming into his solid body, I needed him so bad and with that thought we removed the rest of our clothes.

I could feel his rock hard arousal as he lined himself up with my entrance. I would do anything for Christian, I loved him.

Christian? Ooh no not again! Wait! Stop! No! I am Rose not Lissa. You want Dimitri! You love Dimitri!

I woke up with a start. My breathing laboured as if I was the one in the middle of what promised to be a very hot sex session. My body covered in a thin layer of perspiration as it started to cool down for the excitement from only a few seconds ago. I could feel my thighs clenching together as I tried to get a handle of my senses and my body.

Once I started to get a handled over myself I sighed and I turned over towards the window, the sun was shining outside I could just see it as it streamed around my black out blinds. I huffed again as I noticed the time on the clock, it was 3PM, the middle of Moroi night. What the actual fuck! I had to be up in a few hours! Why? Didn't they know how tired I was? The night time was the only time I had to recoup some of the sleep I missed during the week. Lissa knew I got up so early to train so I could look after her and she knew that when I was asleep I couldn't block her out! If I didn't know any better I'd think she was doing this on purpose. I knew I couldn't sleep again yet I'd just get sucked back in and get pissed off yet again. And so now here I was at 3am lying awake in the middle of the 'night' and I was feeling so frustrated. So frustrated. And so annoyed.

It's ok for them to be able to get it on whenever they wanted, with no consideration to anyone else! I was hit with a sudden pang on anger as I could feel Lissa in the back of my head. I stormed out of my bed. I was feeling so angry that I needed to do something, anything. I threw on my training clothes that I had hung over my desk chair and stormed out of my room. My mood was too angry for subtle this morning, I made my way to the door that led outside when the hall matron stopped me from behind her desk.

She was a young Moroi maybe 22, she had long straight brown hair and blue eyes, she looked so bored as she spoke to me and took in my clothes. "Where do you think you are going, again, Novice Hathaway?" Her eyes bore into me trying to guess my intentions.

"Training." I huffed. I was in my training gear wasn't it obvious. But instead she raised her eyebrows at me not taking my frustrations seriously like she really should.

"It's 3 in the morning. You don't have training at this hour, go back to bed." I almost scoffed at the Moroi trying to be stern with me but my frustration wouldn't let up. She wanted me to stay in my room like a good little girl and I could go back and sit in my room for hours in the hopes that Lissa and Christian had finished their romp but no, now I was riled up I needed to use my pent up energy. I felt that if I didn't, I'd hurt someone. I could feel the sexual tension like there was ants under my skin crawling everywhere and making me antsy.

The Moroi came to stand in front of me, trying to block my escape route. I sighed in response and tried to move towards but she tried to use her body to block my path again. "Why do you want me back in my room? I'm not going to be able to go back to sleep so I may as well train." I forcefully pushed past her ignoring her yells as I moved towards the gym.

I made my way quickly to the track, put my earphones in, turned my music up high and ran. I started with a jog and as the songs got faster I ran faster, pushing my body while I tried to forget the feel of Christian's hands roaming across my skin making me shiver in anticipation, of the feel of my arousal at the thought of him right now. No! I did not want to think of him like that, I had someone else to fantasize over tall, dark, handsome and so solid. I got stuck in Lissa's head so much that I often found that I kept thinking of Christian it annoyed the hell out of me, which made me angrier and so I would be outright mean to Christian. No I wouldn't think of Christian!

I ran faster pushing my body to the brink of exhaustion. I tried to stop the thoughts raging through my mind and the feelings running rampant thought my body. I tried to keep my mind focused, I tried telling myself that I didn't want Christian, I wasn't turned on and I didn't feel the pain of the need to release it all. That this was all normal. Then my mind wondered if a person could die from built up sexual pressure, I felt like I would combust with need.

On and on I ran, faster and faster until I felt the anger inside me break suddenly like elastic under too much pressure, making me stop and scream in frustration. I bent over trying to catch my breath, I could still feel that I was aroused but it was down to a dull throb because I had pushed myself. I thought I could handle this now. It wasn't consuming my body and mind like it was, which was some relief now that it was dulled. I fell lazily to the ground on my back, letting the sun's rays wash over me, my body was warm from exhaustion but the sun felt good as it hit me.

I felt something by my left hand and flinched away rolling into a crouch. I opened my eyes and turning towards where the movement had been. It took a second to take the intruder in and as I did I relaxed back down into a sitting position on the grass

"God dammit Dimitri! Don't do that!" My Russian god was sat next to me, he had a slight smile on his face as his mouth moved, I couldn't hear him only the sound I could hear was of the metal band I was listening to. He pulled my earphones out and now they were out I could hear how loud I had them and normal hearing came flooding back to me.

"What are you doing?" He asked me quietly. His chocolate molten eyes boring into me, I could feel the electric buzz I normally felt around him making my hairs stand on end. I stared at his mouth remembering the feel of his lips on mine. His mouth was so sexy I wanted it all over me, everywhere, all the time.

All that sexual tension I'd just burned off came flooding back. For Fuck Sake?! I just couldn't get a break. I felt angry again as my body reacted to his presence.

"Running obviously." I knew I was being a bitch but I'd been woken up like this for 5 days, ok so today was the worst of it, but I had been running on and off for weeks, it's just bad because Lissa has been at Christian for days. It was like she was in heat which was projecting on to me, but she had a partner and I didn't which exaggerated my symptoms. I was exhausted and horny. Unlike Lissa I didn't have a sexual partner and it wasn't going to change anytime soon. Dimitri raised his eyebrow at me in that sexy way he did, why did he have to be so sexy? So beautiful, so perfect. Even his hands were sexy. They were large and could steer me into positions I couldn't even dream about.

Stop it Rose!

"You've been running for an hour Rose. It's after four in the morning, why are you up?" I couldn't tell him the truth, it's embarrassing. What would I say? I'm sexually frustrated because my bond mate kept drawing me into her head whilst she was getting jiggy with it? No I couldn't say that!

"Felt like it." I shrugged turning my gaze from him to the school where I could just make out a figure stood in the doorway.

"Alberta was alerted to your escape from the dorms, again. She tried getting your attention and when she couldn't she came and got me. I've been running behind you for 20 minutes." I turned back to him, now I really took him in I could see how slightly unorderly he was. His hair hadn't been brushed before being put into a tie. Why did my life have to be so complicated? "So let's try again, why are you out here?"

My shoulders sagged under his gaze. "I had a lot of energy? Yeah I had a lot of energy to use."

"Roza, the truth." I shook my head. I couldn't tell him, let them think I was a delinquent. I would take this to my grave.

"Roza, what's going on, you haven't been right in days, weeks even. Somethings going on. You can trust me." He rested his hand on mine between us. The sudden rush of fire exploded inside me making it ignite my core. It was painful as I tried to ignore it. I felt the angry tears start, why didn't he get it? It wasn't my fault. I pulled my hand back like it had been burned, and in a way it had, burned with lust. I stood up in a huff, why this? I would rather be punch a hundred times than this right now.

I kept my eyes averted from his. "There's nothing wrong. I haven't finished my circuit." I started to run again but he caught my arm in his grip, stopping me in my tracks.

"Roza talk to me." He pleaded with me.

"Just leave it Dimitri, please. It's nothing." I pulled out of his grasp and carried on running. As I ran I could see him walking off to the side and start talking to Alberta.

I ran trying to rid myself of my new frustrations, the ones that reminded me of the night of the lust charm. I didn't mean to but now I'd seen Dimitri and spoken to him, all I could think about was Dimitri's hard rock abs under my fingers as he kissed my naked neck. I remembered how his hands groped my ass as he lifted me up and placed me on his bed. How his torso pushed me into the bed as he lay on top of me.

My heart thundered in my chest as I thought about how he took my nipple into his gorgeous mouth and how he smiled when I gave a shocked gasp when he ran his fingers down my wet core. I'd never been touched there before and I could feel everything so sensitive and how he started circling the entrance to my centre. How it left promises un-kept.

I suddenly couldn't breathe, I could only see black spots as I gasped for air. I started panicking as I still tried to breathe but I couldn't take in the air I so desperately needed. I heard distant voices shouting for me as my vision went black.

I could feel his hands all over me, urgent in our need to have each other. I was the most turned on I'd ever felt as he tore my top off of me. I gasped as he held me to him kissing and nibbling more rough than normal but I liked it. He turned me around so I was facing away from him.

He kissed down my neck again paying extra attention to the spot behind my ear. I was ready for him as he pushed me down.

"Please Christian."

Christian? FOR FUCK SAKE. NO! Get me out of here. No!

I could feel as his member started pushing me, wanting access.

No I want Dimitri! Not Christian. I am not Lissa. I am Rose.

I awoke with a start again. I opened my eyes as I pushed Lissa's feelings away trying to block her out. The first thing I saw was the water stain on the otherwise pristine ceiling tiles. I could feel the tears in my eyes. I couldn't take anymore I was wound so tight. This was torture at its worst. I knew I could take beatings but this?

This was something else entirely.

I looked around me and thankfully I was alone. I sat up slowly, I felt fine. Except the feelings I was having down below. Why did I pass out?

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and I felt pleasantly awake, though I could feel my exhaustion just out of reach. This would be a short lived awake period. I was unfortunately dressed in a hospital gown but I clocked my clothes on a chair. I swiftly changed not wanting to have my butt on show. And as I finished dressing I felt my tummy grumble painfully. Had I missed breakfast? I could feel Lissa in the back of head distracting me.

I felt an electric bolt go through me making me gasp. I clenched my thighs together as I tried to stifle the feelings I was having. I felt them die down a little so I could function again. I moved into the corridor.

"Rose you shouldn't be up." I turned as I saw the Dr come towards me.

"I'm starving I was gunna head to breakfast." I replied like nothing had happened. The doctor regarded me closely before speaking.

"Rose its 2 in the morning, breakfast isn't until 7." She spoke clearly and softly indicating that it was indeed the middle of the night.

"2? You mean I was out for a day?" The doc nodded.

"You were exhausted, let's have a chat and I'll get you some food." She walked me swiftly back into my hospital room she Sat on one of the chairs as I took the one next to her.

"So what's going on?" The doctor asked me.

"You tell me, you're the doctor, doc." She smiled at me before answering, it was no secret I hated coming to the infirmary.

"I know you've been getting up all times of the night and you haven't been sleeping much. You've been having nightmares and your mood has been erratic. Why is that?"

I shrugged, "I don't know, I wake up and I can't sleep again." I could still feel Lissa in the background and it was distracting me. My heart rate sped up in response to what I knew what Lissa and Christian was doing. I tried ignoring the tingly feeling I was having between my legs but it was building to a point that I couldn't ignore, I could feel my hips trying to circle trying to relieve some of the pressure but I forced them to hold still as I was sat with the doctor. The pain started in then as I could feel the tension start building in my body. The doctor was looking at me closely then she started taking notes as I began to shake slightly from the pressure I was trying to hold in. I jumped up from the seat.

"I'll just go take a shower, I feel horrible not having showered yesterday." I didn't wait for the doc to stop me but hurried into the bathroom and locked the door. I hurriedly turned the cold water on and got straight in. I gasped at the sudden coldness of the water as it hit my heated skin but I instantly felt clearer, runs or cold showers seemed to be my only release from the constant state of arousal I had been in for days and even then they didn't last long. I couldn't feel Lissa at the moment, which means that hopefully they'd finished, for now anyway.

Thank god. I felt dirty. I'd never had sex before but all of the sessions that Lissa was having with Christian made me feel like I wasn't a virgin. Urgh.

I could still feel his hands roaming over me and I felt a mixture of embarrassment, guilt, arousal and disgust. I cried under the water sitting in the bottom of the shower.

"Rose, are you ok?" I heard Dr O's muffled voice ask from the other side of the door. I couldn't face her like this.

"I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute." I tried to make my voice normal but I knew it sounded off.

Every time Lissa trapped me in her head while she was with Christian a little part of me died. And the worst thing was that I was so turned on by it that I wanted it myself. The pain of the tension became unbearable my whole body ached. I lowered my head to my knees that were raised to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I cried some more as I could hear knocking.

"Rose. Open the door!" I could hear Dr O starting to get panicky.

"I'm fine, just leave me alone." I could hear voices from the other side of the door and keys jangling. I tuned it out trying to escape my mind, trying to turn all my feelings off. Trying to block it out.

"Shit Roza." I heard Dimitri's voice as the water stopped falling on me. I felt an arm extend around me wrapping me into a solid body but I squirmed away. The feeling of his touch made me burn like I was on fire and his touch was making it worse.

"Don't touch me." I made myself smaller trying to get into the corner of the cubicle.

I could hear voices around me but I could only decipher one.

"What's wrong with her?" I couldn't hear the response but I heard his reply. "What do you mean you don't know?" I could hear Dimitri getting a little frantic. They would suspect something if Dimitri carried on. So I lifted my head up towards the adults.

"I'm fine, I was just hot." I managed quietly.

"So you got in a freezing shower fully clothed? Because you were hot." I could hear Kirova's voice from the doorway.

"My body, I can do what I want with it." I barked back to the headmistress. Dr O knelt down in front of me.

"Rose, I need to ask you something, and I need you to be honest." She took a deep breath and carried on. "Has anyone done anything to you that you didn't want them to?" I heard a hiss escape Dimitri's mouth. I looked blank at the doctor. What was she getting at? When I didn't answer she carried on. "I mean has anyone touched you uninvited?" I looked into Dimitris eyes he looked pained and angry all at the same time, then it clicked.

"Oh god no!" There was sighing of relief from Dimitri. "No one would dare, I'd kill them."

"Rose if someone's done something to you…" Dr O pressed.

I shook my head slightly. "Look no one has done anything to me ok?" I let my head fall to my knees again.

The doctor placed a hand on my shoulder but the pain started again so I pulled away from her. "Rose it's ok, we're here to help."

Phft "You can't help with this."

"Rose you're not helping yourself. Tell us." Dimitri begged.

"I just." I sighed myself. "I just have to deal with it, that's all. I just have to learn to block it out, that's all."

"Block what?" Dr O asked me.

"It's a shadow kissed thing. It's fine, I'm fine, really. No one has touched me untowardly. My virtue is still very much intact." Oh god why did I have to say that? I met Dimitri's gaze, I could see a hint of humour hidden behind his eyes. "Look I'll talk to Lissa and everything will be fine."

"You need to tell us, the bond is being studied, it could help." I shook my head.

"It's private." I said standing up. I wobbled slightly. Now Lissa and Christian had stopped and they had fallen asleep as I could sense it I finally I didn't feel all of Lissa's arousal mixed with mine. "Rose."

"Look I'm going to go change and find food. I am fine, I'll even come straight back if you want." The doctor nodded as Kirova walked out.

"I'll escort Rose back here after she's had food." Dimitri told the doctor who thanked him and walked out. I attentively walked past him, I didn't want my sexual tension wound up again and I knew touching him would ignite the fire inside me.

We'd reached my room in silence and as I walked inside Dimitri waited in the hallway. I hurriedly changed and put my hair back into a ponytail. I had just opened the door to leave when Dimitri stepped in front of me making me step back. In an instant he was in my room and shutting the door trapping us in my room. This wasn't good. I tried taking a step back but he followed me, I felt trapped. He was too close, I could feel the heat rolling out of his body and towards me surrounding me in Dimitri.

"What's going on Rose?" His eyes found mine, I just couldn't escape him but then I took a deep breath and instantly my body started to relax. He was here with me, in my room.

He was so close to me that our bodies were only an inch or so apart. His chocolate eyes looked down at me making my insides melt. He was overwhelming my senses, waking my whole body up like a dragon flying from its nest. He was all around me, I could smell him in the air, I could taste his breath in front of me. My hairs stood up in anticipation as the fire roared to life inside me, my thighs automatically coming together trying to prevent my core from exploding.

"Dimitri, I need you to back up." I breathed trying to reign myself in. I shut my eyes trying to imagine he wasn't here but my body yearned for him, his touch, his lips, his... I forced myself to breath as I began seeing black spots again.

"Roza?" He closed that inch between us his hands closing around my biceps. A gasp of sexual pleasure left my mouth as my body shivered in response.

"I'm not strong enough Comrade. It hurts so bad, please." I whispered to his chest. I could feel the tears on the brim of my closed eyes as they started to fall. I don't know what I was begging for but I begged all the same. "Please, make it stop."

"Tell me what to do?" He whispered as his mouth lowered down, now centimetres from mine.

"Touch me Comrade." And like an explosion I kissed him, raw and powerful. The fire still building quickly in the pit of my core. Yearning and waiting. The beast inside me had been stirring for weeks and now it needed to be released. My hands automatically wrapping around his neck.

"Roza we can't." He breathed into my mouth as he tried to pull away.

"Please, I can't take it anymore. Lissa keeps dragging me in while she's with Christian. It's been weeks Comrade, I can't keep it in any longer. This is worse than the lust spell, it's going to tear me up from the inside."

He stilled above me.

"That's what's happening?" He asked shocked. The tears from my embarrassment and pain mixed together making my vision blurred. I knew I couldn't hold out much longer. I needed to give in to the beast before it drove me mad or I did something I'd regret, but I didn't want it to be with anyone but Dimitri. It'll always be him.

"If we talk to Lissa maybe…." My lust turned to anger, he didn't want me.

"Then go! I'll sort it out myself." I growled into him as he drew back. I started for the door, intending to jump the first guy I saw, the fire was building to an imaginable level causing pain throughout my body. I needed it to stop. It was consuming me, I couldn't think all I could do was feel.

"Roza. Where are you going?" He pulled on my arm again.

I rounded on him. "You don't get it Dimitri." I growled, he took a step back as I stepped forward jabbing him in the chest. "It's like I'm in heat! I can't stop it! I try to run it off but it only works for so long, the cold showers work for a time but it just comes back, worse." He stood stunned unable to move. "You know I don't sleep around, so I'm just stuck like this! And there's nothing I can do! I don't want some random guy, I want you!" I stopped as my emotions got the better of me. I took a breath and slid to the floor wrapping my arms around myself again. "It hurts so bad." I told myself. "Make it stop." I knew I looked pathetic; this wasn't how I saw my first time going. Me begging for it like some common slut. I dug my nails into my arms trying to find some release, any release.

I felt Dimitri lower himself next to me, his knee brushing my arm. "Not like this Roza." He said softly. I couldn't look at him I could only feel as I dug my nails in deeper. "Stop." He tried to pry my arms away from each other but my grip was tight. "Roza stop." He managed to pry my fingers away and held my hands, my head still on my knees.

"I just want to go to sleep and not wake up." I said to my knees. I knew he'd heard me as he'd stopped moving.

"You don't mean that." He said quietly.

"Don't I? Is this my life now? When Lissa gets a leg over I start whoring myself out?! I can't control it. It's getting worse the more I leave it. Every touch is either ecstasy or hell." I said lifting my eyes up to his hands on mine.

"What does my touch do to you?" Dimitris voice lowered as he spoke, sending ripples through my body.

"Both. Ecstasy because I only want you to touch me, hell because I only want you to touch me."

His hands moved from mine rubbing lightly up my arms.

"I can't leave you in pain Roza." He whispered as he brought his mouth down to mine. Like before it was an explosion inside me, before I knew it I was straddling him on the floor. Our lips urgent as I took his top off his hair hanging down as I fisted it in one hand while the other ran down his back making him shiver under me. I unashamedly was grinding against his arousal making me whimper into his mouth. It felt amazing, it was him only him.

In seconds I felt the elastic snap inside me as I climaxed against him. Oh my god! It rolled through me as I kept kissing my man. He groaned into my mouth as he took my top off and the fire reignited inside me, our bottoms coming off quickly. His hands roaming all over my body as I straddled him.

"God Roza you weren't kidding." He'd just stroked his hand against my folds finding them wet. "You are so wet." His breath was deep and seductive. I hovered myself over him as I looked in his eyes.

"I need you Comrade. Make it all go away." I stared at him as I pushed down on him. Wow! He was so big! I lowered myself unashamedly until I was sat flush against him. I wasn't going to lie, it hurt a lot. It burned but as I adjusted I felt like it was in a good way, like a good workout.

"God Roza." Once I was ready I started moving, the friction of our bodies causing me to roll into another climax. I threw my head back in pleasure as Dimitri held my hips thrusting further into me.

I'd never felt anything like it as he pushed into me from below. "Don't stop." I moaned as he went faster plunging into me with every stroke. My head whipped back as he held me, then I felt his mouth on my neck, a little pang of pain as he bit down on me and the ecstasy of another orgasm as I came again, this time my body shook and convulsed under me as Dimitri helped me ride out this orgasm and before I could recover another had built up. I bit into Dimitri, trying to stifle my scream as I came undone yet again.

This time I didn't recover like before, Dimitri came with me still in the throes of my climax, he held me to him as my limbs shook violently and my breathing laboured. I knew my eyes were rolling as my core convulsed latching to him.

I slowly regained my senses, for the first time in weeks I could think clearly, except that I was now so tired I felt I could sleep for a week. I peered at Dimitri who was looking at me in wonder.

"Why haven't we done that before?" He whispered to me. I chuckled at his goofy smile.

"Because we like punishing ourselves." I told him. My body felt so relaxed and then uncontrollably I started to laugh, like a proper belly, I can't stop laugh. I had no idea why I was laughing but I couldn't stop as much as I tried. I had tears in my eyes and I was gasping for breath but I couldn't stop the rolls of laughter as they came over me.

I don't know how much longer later I stopped but finally I did. Dimitri was still holding me with an amused face.

"Something funny?" I shook my head.

"Not in the slightest, I don't know what came over me." I stifled another laugh as I realised what I said.

"I like you like this. I want to see you like this over and over again." He said whispering into my shoulder as he kissed me.

I looked at him and took in his shoulder. "Oh god I'm sorry Dimitri." He had my teeth marks in his shoulder where I had bitten down on him.

"I don't even feel it." He said taking my hand and kissing it. "Shit."

Dimitri suddenly jerked and without moving me off him he fumbled into his trouser pocket and picked his phone out of it. He held it to his ear. I said nothing as he started speaking.

"Hey doc, Rose is asleep, she crashed on her bed." He nodded. "Yeah she spoke to me and I'll explain it to you, I think she just needs to catch up on some sleep." He was playing with my hair as he spoke, "Of course. I'll let you know." He ended the call.

"What are you going to say?" I asked him.

"I don't know, maybe the semi truth that you keep being sucked into Lissa's head and it can be hard to pull yourself out." I nodded absentmindedly. I was suddenly conscious of the fact that I was still naked on top of him, he was still inside me, I could feel him twitching every now and then.

"So what's the plan?" I asked him.

"It's my day off and suddenly your whole day has become free." He said kissing me on the shoulder.

I smiled as I started kissing him back. Now this was a workout I defiantly agreed with.