Let's Start at the Beginning

"Come on baby girl, daddy needs you to go to sleep. I don't want you awake when your momma gets home. She doesn't get many nights out with the girls and may never leave again if she doesn't think daddy can take care of you. I can hardly keep my eyes open..." And at that Christopher LaSalle drifts off to sleep.

Four years ago.

"Hey LaSalle. What are you doing sitting over here by yourself?"

"Hey Rita. I didn't know you were in town." "I was on the west coast and caught the 'red eye' last night to spend the weekend with Duane"

I told her that the team was scattered around town. Sabastian is at some local convention and Patton with his latest. Tammy's pissed at me right now and Sonja is in one of her funk moods and left the office early today.

"Well that surprises me. I thought you and Tammy bonded over the Tucker thing." "We did but she took that as an opportunity to inject herself one too many times into my personal business."

"Well Christopher, I've been woman my whole life. In spite of what the politically correct want you to believe, there is a difference between men and women. We see, hear and feel things differently than men. I had to laugh sometimes at Duane trying to work with the women on his team over the years. I know he talks a lot to Loretta. There's seems to be a mutual relationship where as he has helped with the boys and she with Laurel.

I probably shouldn't tell you this but even with you". "What? So do I even want to know why?" "Something was going on with you and Sonja about six months ago? Nobody could figure it out but I knew exactly what it was because I had been watching you both since the day I met her. I have never seen you in the field, but I have watched the two of you in the office and in interviews with witnesses and suspects. You have a rhythm which I have only seen with two other people - Gibbs and Pride.

Why are you looking at me like that Chris? I'm trying to search for the right words. Oh well, I'll just say it. I suspect Sonja wanted to cross the line between personal and professional" I couldn't contain the shock. "Well Rita the line is right but you identified the wrong person. It was me. Then Sonja put up road blocks and for the longest time nothing happened." "I'm guessing from the words 'long time' that it recently changed?"

"Yeah, after we got Percy out of jail, her perspective changed. Gregorio said she had an epiphany and took some force field down around her heart.

Sonja tried to talk to me right after Clearwater and I shut her down. She got pissed at me and tried to distance herself from me. That's kind of hard when you're riding in the same car with someone or you are supposed to be part of a team. It affected our ability to work together and it was only after King warned us to straighten it out that I was able to force her to talk about it."

"So did you really talk about it or come to a peace agreement?" "We started talking. I could tell she was hurt and she told me as much." "And what about you Chris?" " I've pushed past pain before. I left Savannah once and we reconnected. We were just starting to learn about each other when she was murdered.

Gregorio swore for months that there was something between me and Percy. I couldn't see it. We worked well together but so did Brody and I. Something changed. However, the day King and Sonja went on that boat. I tried to talk to Sonja the next day but she blew me off. I thought I saw a possibility but Sonja kept me at arm's length.

I spent most of a two week leave hunting and fishing with Cade and thinking over Tucker. Cade kept asking about the woman and I lied and told him there was no woman but I know he knows I was lying. We drew a case right after we all got back in town and I picked her up at the airport. All she asked about Gregorio, Brody and me so I just dropped it."

"I know you don't want to hear this Chris, but you need to finish that conversation with Sonja." Through my look of terror I asked Rita "why I would want to open up old wounds." "Did you just hear yourself? 'Wounds?' Is that how you see your relationship with her? Wounded? Well Chris wounds need to heal. Untreated wounds will fester and become infected. Seems like that is what Duane saw."

"Shit Rita, I don't know if I can do that."

"I'm just an outside observer Chris. A little older than you and with a little more life experience. Did you know that Duane and I dated before we married other people? I know Linda loved him and he was crazy about her but his job stood in the way of his happiness with his wife. He's not only the law officer to have that problem. My sister was a sailor and her deployments ended her marriage. Duane would get caught up in cases and would be away for days. My work caused me to be around a lot of cops. Their dedication to duty is like belonging to a club. If you are not a member, you are an outsider.

Ever observe a conversation between Pride, Gregorio, McGee or Gibbs? Do you feel like an outsider sometimes? You are all agents and they still have a 'click' of their own as sailors that you and I don't belong to."