AN: Not really sure there's much of a market for Martin Stein/Ronnie Raymond Firestorm fics, but, here we are. I think the fandom could use a few more of them, don't you? The premise for this story is simple: What if the Quantum Splicer wasn't necessary?

As a content warning, there is canon typical violence in here.

Enjoy!

His hands were trembling, that was the first thing he noticed, before he even opened his eyes. His hands were trembling, wind blowing against his face. The ground beneath him was hard and unforgiving, and his body ached as though he had been laying there (wherever there was) for a while.

"What…?"

It was a voice, groggy and confused, echoing oddly through Ronnie's head. Whoever the other person was, Ronnie agreed with them. He too was groggy, and confused, and he had no idea of what had happened to him. He wasn't even convinced that he hadn't spoken the word himself. His hands fumbled over the ground, feeling the asphalt he was apparently laying on, and he struggled to open his eyes.

The second he succeeded, light shot through his eyeballs like a lance, stabbing into his brain, and he quickly closed them again, wincing under the onslaught. He was outside, and it was daytime, that much was obvious, but as to where he was and why he still had no clue.

He risked opening his eyes again, curling his fingers against the asphalt in anticipation, and blinked rapidly to adjust to the incoming light.

"Where am I?" the voice asked again, still sounding as groggy and confused as Ronnie felt. He briefly entertained the idea of looking for the speaker, but his brain felt like it was wrapped in fog, and he was having enough trouble just processing what he was seeing to focus on what he was hearing.

With no small amount of effort and concentration, Ronnie shifted, remembering how to move his legs and arms, getting his feet underneath him and pushing off the ground. A little wobbly, he nevertheless managed to stand. He was in an alley, he was realizing, empty but for him and the trash and debris that fluttered by in the breeze. What was he doing there again?

(At his side, his hands still shook.)

He took a hesitant step forward, then another, testing his feet and legs with the weight of his body, bracing his shoes against the hard ground. Walking was an effort, but not a physical one. It was as if his brain wasn't quite connected, and Ronnie had to convince it that the legs he saw were his own. From an indeterminate location, the voice spoke again as he moved.

"What's happening, what's going on?" Some of the confusion in the speaker's tone had fallen away, only to be replaced with panic.

Ronnie frowned. He couldn't tell where the speaker was. Taking a moment to ensure that he was steady on his own two feet, he looked around. There was no one else in the alley with him. He shrugged it off, only slightly anxious, aware in a foggy, half-hearted sort of way that he wasn't processing sensory input as well as he normally did. Maybe he was imagining things.

He took a third step forward, then a fourth, getting a hang of the whole walking thing pretty quickly and, as a bonus, his hands stopped shaking as he did so. But there was a feeling of panic spreading in the back of his mind, somewhat detached from his own emotions but still there, and it mingled with the anxieties at the forefront of his brain. Where was he? What had happened?

A newspaper lay a few feet ahead on the alley floor. Almost without thinking, Ronnie made his way over to it, picking it up with a frown. When he did manage to focus on the small print, he only managed to read the headline, and the date underneath it, before he dropped the paper in shock.

February. No – it couldn't have been February. Because… because… because it was January, and they were turning the particle accelerator on, only… no, they'd already done that. But it hadn't gone right, had it? He remembered hurrying into the tunnel, the door shutting behind him, reassuring Cisco over the radio that he'd done the right thing.

Ronnie looked down at his hands. Was he dead?

"Why can't I move? Who are you?"

It was the voice again. Ronnie's head shot upward, gazing around the alley. There was still no one in sight. "Who said that?"

"I did," the voice said. The speaker's tone was still tinged with panic, and a small amount of desperation, the words still echoing oddly in Ronnie's mind.

His hands dropped to his sides. "I'm hallucinating," he said aloud in disbelief. He couldn't be dead if he was hallucinating, right? Had he actually managed to survive the particle accelerator explosion? Or had it not been as bad as he was remembering?

"I am not a hallucination!" the voice retaliated indignantly.

No. Ronnie was not going to respond to that. He wasn't going to talk to the imaginary voice in his head. (Because now that he was coming back to himself, he could tell that the voice was in his head. It echoed weirdly, and sounded almost like someone was standing next to him, but it was in his head nevertheless.)

What had happened to him? Why couldn't he remember an entire month? How had he survived the explosion? Somehow, he'd wound up in an alley with no memories and full-blown auditory hallucinations.

Oh, god, Caitlin. And Cisco and Dr. Wells and everyone else at STAR Labs. Were they alright, had they survived? He'd been missing a month (apparently), what did they think happened to him? With no clear idea of where he was, Ronnie set off in the direction he was already facing, hoping to find some landmark that was familiar to him. Caitlin. He had to find Caitlin.

"Excuse me, what is going on? What have you done to me?!" Now the voice was indignant, irritated and annoyed, but there was still that tinge of panic underlying every word.

Ronnie shook his head. Nope. Responding to your hallucinations was the first sign of madness, wasn't it? So long as he didn't acknowledge them (or, rather, in this case, him), and remembered that it was a hallucination, then he would be alright, wouldn't he?

Suddenly, Ronnie felt a faint urge to stop walking. He faltered, stumbling slightly in surprise, but kept going. It wasn't as if he'd lost control of his own body, but more as though someone had strongly suggested that he stop, and Ronnie, unprepared for the suggestion, had almost listened. He kept walking, and felt the urge to stop again. Ignoring it, he pushed forward, turning his attention toward the buildings surrounding him.

"I demand to know what is going on! Who are you?! What have you done to me?"

Ronnie shook his head again and kept walking, clenching his fists as the feeling became almost overwhelming. He barely made it a hundred feet before he gave in, coming to a halt with the alley entrance, and the street beyond it, tantalizingly just out of reach. "Would you stop that?!" he snapped angrily.

The feeling had stopped with his movement, but a small sense of smug satisfaction mingled with the confusion and frustration that had settled in the back of his mind.

"Perhaps now you will answer my questions?"

He started walking again, only for the urge to reappear. It was uncomfortable, and unpleasant, and Ronnie ground to a halt once more, shoes scraping the asphalt in frustration. It was strange, like a nagging annoyance that couldn't control him, but sure as hell influenced how he acted. He didn't want to give in to his hallucination, but what sort of hallucination could control how he felt? Unless it was worse than a hallucination, and he'd snapped completely.

What if that was why he was missing a month of his life?

But Ronnie had been healthy before the particle accelerator had exploded, and though he was no expert on mental health, he didn't think one could fall apart so thoroughly so quickly.

After some hesitation, he spoke. "I don't know what's going on, alright? Did you do this to me?"

"In order to answer that question, I'd have to know what, exactly, was done to us in the first place."

"Are you, like… a ghost?" Ronnie asked hesitantly. It was ridiculous – he didn't even believe in ghosts – but his hallucination certainly was acting like an independent being, rather than just an extension of Ronnie's subconscious. He glanced over at his reflection in a nearby window – fuzzy and indistinct from the warped glass and lack of sunlight in the narrow alley, it was nevertheless definitely him. Him as he'd been a month ago, without long hair or even a beard as evidence of his missing time.

There was a pregnant pause, and Ronnie got the impression that the voice was thinking.

"I… I certainly hope not," it finally said, hesitant and unsure. Then, conviction entered the voice: "I'm certainly no hallucination."

"So you're… real. And in my head?"

"That would seem to be the case. Assuming that is your reflection?"

Ronnie nodded, then froze, wondering if the… the other man? Ronnie wondered if he could sense the movement.

"What…" he started, at a loss for how to even begin a conversation. "This isn't possible." Maybe he was dreaming. Or maybe he actually was dead.

"And yet here we are," the voice said. The tone was resigned and panicked at the same time, accepting that this was reality, but not sure how or why or what could be done about it.

"So do you… are you…?" What did you even say in this kind of situation? "Can you read my mind?"

There was a short pause, as though the speaker was attempting to do so. "No."

Ronnie was at a loss for what to say. He was either having a very convincing dream or hallucination, or there was another man in his mind. He shook his own head. "I need to go see Caitlin."

"What about Clarissa?"

"Clarissa?"

"My wife."

Right. There was a real person in his head. Someone who'd had a life, a job, a family.

"I'm Ronnie," he said at the realization. "Ronnie Raymond."

A pause, then: "Dr. Martin Stein. Normally I would say it was a pleasure to make your acquaintance, however…"

To his surprise, Ronnie found himself grinning, snorting at the other man's words. "Doctor?"

"Of physics. Nuclear physics, to be specific." There was another pause. "Actually, I may have some idea as to what caused this..."

Ronnie waited expectantly, but Stein didn't speak.

"Yeah?" he asked impatiently. He'd been missing a month. He wanted – needed – to go see Caitlin.

"What is the last thing you remember?"

That wasn't hard. "The particle accelerator explosion. I was at STAR Labs when it happened."

"As was I. Or rather, right outside, carrying the FIRESTORM matrix."

"Firestorm?"

"My project on nuclear transmutation. Are you familiar with the science?"

Ronnie was mostly a mechanical engineer, but he'd worked at STAR Labs with some of the best scientific minds around. He knew general information about nuclear transmutation – atoms were all made of the same thing after all, you just had to change the number of protons, electrons, and neutrons to change the material.

"But the energy requirements…" his words died in this throat, remembering the wave of energy the exploding accelerator had given off.

"Yes."

Ronnie shook his head. "So, you're saying that, somehow, the wave of energy from the particle accelerator combined the two of us?"

"I admit that the idea seems farfetched, but it is either that or we are both somehow sharing the same lucid dream."

Or afterlife, Ronnie thought but didn't say. Still, Stein's explanation was the best one he had – if Stein was, in fact, real. But Ronnie didn't think even a hallucination of his would make up a history as a nuclear physicist, with a wife named Clarissa.

"Alright, well we can figure out the specifics later. I'm going to go see Caitlin."

"And my wife?" The tone was slightly impatient, and expectant.

What could he say to that? "You think she'd believe me if I tried to tell her the truth?"

Stein's tone became indignant. "You believe your Caitlin will?"

Ronnie froze. "I… I can't not tell her," he said. But how could he explain it – he barely believed it himself, and it was his mind that Stein had been thrown into. He shook his head; he couldn't let doubt hold him back. He set off again, leaving the alley determined to find Caitlin, but not knowing what he would say when he did. How could he tell the woman he loved that he was no longer one man, but two, stuck together?

It took a little while for Ronnie to get his bearings, and Stein stayed mostly silent during that time, but eventually he found a street he was familiar with and headed in the direction of the apartment he shared with Caitlin.

It was only a side glance into one of the nearby shop windows that gave him pause. Out of the alley, the street he walked on was well lit, the glass clean and clear – but it wasn't the merchandise in the shop he was looking at, it was his reflection.

"I take it your eyes…" Stein started after a moment.

"No," Ronnie answered abruptly, gaining a few odd looks from passersby. He barely noticed.

Normally blue, with the black pupil that was shared by practically all life-forms on Earth with eyes, Ronnie's eyes were now a pure white, without iris or pupil. It was a strange, unsettling sight.

Stein didn't seem to know what to say either.

"And your eyes aren't…?" Ronnie asked, uncaring about the looks he received.

"Most decidedly not."

"Right."

He looked… he looked blind, almost, and at that moment he wasn't entirely sure of how he was capable of seeing at all. A side effect of the two of them merging, or a sign that he actually was hallucinating? Up until now, Ronnie had assumed that he was himself, just with an extra mind added on, but was that true? How else had he – they – been affected?

Tearing himself from his reflection, he set off down the sidewalk again, but this time he wandered aimlessly, forgetting his earlier destination.

"You don't think anything else is different?" he asked, glancing down at his hands as he walked. He felt like Ronnie Raymond, as far as he could tell, perhaps with a little something extra flickering at the back of his mind.

"I have no earthly idea I'm afraid. It seems we are both clueless as to our circumstances."

Stein had it worse than he did, Ronnie told himself (if Stein wasn't a figment of his imagination). At least Ronnie could walk around, and talk to other people. At least he had a body to control.

Aware that he looked like he was talking to himself when he spoke with Stein, Ronnie made his way down to the nearest side street, looking for somewhere that wasn't populated. Finding a suitably empty alley he slipped down it, leaning against a wall.

"We need to fix this," he said plainly.

Stein's response was slightly sarcastic. "I'm open to suggestions."

"Your research," Ronnie said, hoping against hope that Stein was real, and not a hallucination. (The white eyes kind of cinched the deal though, unless Ronnie also had visual hallucinations as well as auditory.) "Where is it?"

"I had my laptop with me when the accelerator exploded, but there are back-ups at my office, and some of my research is also at home."

Ronnie patted his pockets. No wallet, no phone, and he was walking around with pure white eyes that were sure to freak out anyone he came across. And, on top of all that, he had to go to the bathroom.

"So how do we get there?"

"I take it the train is out of the question?"

Ronnie shook his head – they were back to their earlier problem, and he was getting frustrated. "We need help."

"If you are still considering approaching your girlfriend –"

"Caitlin is my fiancée," Ronnie corrected, irritated, "and unless you have a better suggestion…"

"I'm sure between the two of us–"

"I'm not even sure you're real!" Ronnie finally snapped, not really frustrated with Stein, but with the circumstances he had found himself in.

That gave the other man pause.

"Then I suggest our first stop to be the library," he said after a moment, tone snide, "so you can verify that I do, indeed, exist."

Ronnie sighed. "Look, you have to admit that none of this makes any sense. It shouldn't be possible."

Stein didn't respond.

"C'mon, really?"

The mental impression of crossed arms somehow found its way into Ronnie's mind and he frowned. Fine. If the human being who had somehow combined with Ronnie wanted to get upset because Ronnie wasn't sure that what was happening was real, then that was his problem. He pushed off the wall he'd been leaning against, and made his way back to the main street. Maybe the library was a good idea, if only to assure himself that he wasn't going crazy.

Stein hadn't told Ronnie what university he worked for, but a quick Google search of the man's name had been enough to reassure Ronnie that he was real. He skimmed through Stein's faculty profile, studying the picture for a short while (white, older, wearing glasses), before browsing through some of the articles about awards the man had won, or research he'd worked on. There was also a lone link that led to his missing person's article, with the date of his disappearance listed as the day the particle accelerator had been turned on.

There was no way Ronnie could have hallucinated Stein, which meant this was real, and it was happening, and there was another person trapped in his head.

It had taken Ronnie probably over an hour of walking to find a library, as unfamiliar with the neighborhood as he was, and in that time Stein hadn't spoken. Sitting at the row of computers with plenty of strangers, Ronnie didn't want to be the one to start the conversation either. He had a hard-enough time as it was keeping his gaze averted so no one noticed his eyes.

Speaking of his eyes… Ronnie stood, noticing a lost and found sign, and made his way to the small room that the bin had been placed in. This was a fairly crowded library, in a well populated neighborhood. Maybe they would have a pair of sunglasses or something he could use.

"Well, now will you admit that I am not a figment of your imagination?" Stein asked indignantly as Ronnie walked away from the computers.

Ronnie didn't reply immediately, waiting until he stepped into the unused room. "I'm sorry, okay," he said under his breath, "nothing like this has ever happened before, to anyone." But as much turmoil as he was in at the moment, he couldn't imagine what it was like for Stein. He shifted through the bin in front of him, moving aside the sweater on top, grateful there was no one else currently in the room with them.

"What are you doing?" Stein asked, momentarily distracted. "Looting?"

But Ronnie had found what he was looking for, and he grabbed the pair of sunglasses in front of him.

"Oh."

Plastic, cheap, and clunky they might have been, but at least they were intact.

Slipping on the sunglasses he left the room, heading for the public restrooms without thought. Only once he'd pushed through the door though did he pause. There was no one else inside, but the silence still felt very awkward to Ronnie.

"The more you prolong this the more awkward it will be for the both of us," Stein said reluctantly after a moment.

Ronnie grimaced, but agreed.

Outside the library, Ronnie wandered down the street a short while before ducking into an alley once more. He still had no idea of what had happened, or what to do about it, but he was somewhat calmer knowing that Stein wasn't a hallucination.

"Now what?" he asked, knowing that his vote was to find Caitlin.

"I… have been giving our situation some thought and… Well. Some help would be preferable to sleeping outdoors tonight."

Ronnie looked up – he hadn't even realized that the sun was already setting. "Caitlin and I…" he paused, realizing that Caitlin had been on her own for a month now. "I know how to get to Caitlin's apartment from here, but I've never walked it. It might take a while."

"Well then we best be off. And… about my wife…"

"We'll find some way to tell her," Ronnie promised. "Both of them."

With little else to do but think about their situation, and well aware that neither of them really knew anything about the other, Stein and Ronnie talked on the long walk to the apartment.

In snatches and whispers, Ronnie answered Stein's questions and posed questions of his own when the streets around them were empty. The conversation was halted at times, when crowds surrounded them, but with no other distractions they managed to pick up where they had left off whenever the crowds dissipated.

Ronnie talked about Caitlin and Cisco and his other friends at STAR Labs, about his father back home in Coast City and his mother who'd moved to Florida. He talked about his work at STAR Labs, and he told Stein the story of the last day he remembered, running into the particle accelerator when it all started to go so wrong.

Stein was also an only child apparently, with no children and little family to speak of, but he told Ronnie of his wife, and his colleagues. He spoke of his work, both as a teacher and as a researcher, and the different universities he'd taught at in the past. He was also Jewish, and a rabbi at that, though he'd admitted that he didn't follow Jewish tradition as closely as he perhaps should have – at which point Ronnie had pointed out that he himself was atheist.

When Ronnie ended with the story of the explosion, Stein was appropriately silent for a few moments, before quietly but firmly stating that the entire city owed Ronnie a debt of gratitude for his actions one month ago.

Ronnie didn't pretend to believe that he could begin to know what kind of person Stein was after only a few hours of conversation, but as he made his way into his apartment building, he knew it was a start.

The doorbell ringing took a moment to register in her mind, unexpected as it was, and Caitlin sighed as she turned off her TV and heaved herself off the couch. It was late – past nine o'clock already – which meant it was probably Mrs. Haversham from down the hall. She meant well, and she'd made Caitlin more than a few casseroles that she'd eaten in the wake of Ronnie's… now that Ronnie was gone, but she could be a bit smothering, and right now Caitlin just wanted to be left alone.

As it was, she mustered up a smile for her neighbor, and opened the door.

The figure standing in the hallway wasn't Mrs. Haversham, and if Caitlin had been holding something she would have dropped it. Instead she just gaped, jaw dropping as she stared unblinking.

It was Ronnie, in a cheap pair of sunglasses and the outfit he'd died in, looking perfectly fine, and healthy, like he'd just stepped out but had forgotten his key to get back in.

"Caitlin…" he started.

Whatever he'd been about to say, he didn't get to finish. Caitlin hurried forward, engulfing him in a hug that he eagerly returned.

"Ronnie," she gasped, tears in her eyes as she clung to him, burying her face in his shoulder. "How… I don't…?" she was lost for words. "You died!"

"I know," he said, squeezing her tighter, "I know. I'm sorry – I don't know what happened. The last thing I remember is the accelerator exploding."

Caitlin pulled back ever so slightly, still clinging to him but enough to see his face (why was he wearing those ridiculous sunglasses?). "You mean…?"

He shook his head. "I don't remember anything from the past month. I came here as soon as I could."

Caitlin shook her head in disbelief, drinking in the sight of Ronnie before her, whole and alive, even if neither of them had any idea of where he'd been for the past month, or how he'd survived the explosion. Coming to the realization that they were still in the hallway, she pulled him inside her – their apartment, and shut the door behind them.

Little had changed since the day of the explosion. Cisco had been starting to suggest cleaning up the place, offering to come by and help out, but nothing had been set in stone yet and all of Ronnie's things were still in their places.

There were so many questions to ask, but none of them were important right now.

"You're alive," she said with a sob, and fell into his arms again.

It took a minute for Caitlin to cry herself out, to step back and wipe the tears from her cheeks, and Ronnie stood patiently still the whole time, holding her tightly in his arms. There were traces of tears on his cheeks too.

"I wasn't sure…" he said when she finally stepped back, voice breaking slightly. "Cisco? Dr. Wells?"

"They're fine, they're both fine," Caitlin answered hurriedly, quick to reassure him. "You…" she sniffed, wiping her cheeks again. "You saved a lot of lives," she said, and beamed up at her fiancé, standing beside her once more.

Ronnie smiled warmly down at her, arms outstretched with a hand on each of her shoulders, and he pulled her in again for another quick hug, kissing the top of her head as he did so.

"You didn't tell her."

It was past midnight, and Ronnie was lying awake in bed, Caitlin slumbering beside him. They'd talked for a few hours, Ronnie snacking on heated up leftovers in the meantime. Mostly it had been Caitlin talking though – about the aftermath of the explosion, the mass exodus of their fellow employees, Cisco, Dr. Wells, a man who'd been struck by lightning and was being looked after by STAR Labs. Ronnie hadn't said much except to ask questions here or there – he hadn't taken his sunglasses off until she'd fallen asleep on him, and he hadn't mentioned the other consciousness that had taken up residence in his body.

Professor Stein, thankfully, had been mostly silent since they'd reached the apartment, but he wasn't asleep yet either.

Ronnie glanced over at Caitlin fondly, then slipped from the bed as quietly as he was able, making his way to the couch in the living room. He sat down, braced his hands on his knees, and only then did he respond.

"I couldn't. What would I even say?" he asked quietly. "How do you tell your fiancée that you're two people? She was… she was so happy to see me." It had been a month for Caitlin, but less than a day for him.

Stein hummed thoughtfully in response and Ronnie shifted, leaning forward and holding his head in his hands.

"I can't," Ronnie tried to find the words, "not tell her, but… how do I?"

"I'm afraid I don't know," Stein responded. "This is new territory for the both of us. But I don't believe this is something you should be keeping from her."

What was he supposed to say: "Hey Caitlin, I'm fine, but there's another man living in my head"? How did you explain to someone something that you didn't understand yourself? But Stein was right, he had to tell her – there was now another person in their relationship, another person had been in the room with them, and she hadn't known.

Despite their earlier conversation, Ronnie was aware that he knew next to nothing about Martin Stein, or the kind of man he was. He was an academic, and one of his first thoughts upon learning a month had passed had been worry for his wife, and Ronnie could recite a few facts about the man's life, but he knew there was no way Stein could have told him everything. The other man could have been anyone, could have done anything.

He believed that Stein existed now, and was who he said he was, but what else? Should Ronnie trust him?

He stood. "We'll figure it out in the morning," he said under his breath, talking to himself as much as he was talking to Stein. He took them back to his and Caitlin's bedroom.

Two people falling asleep in one body was a strange feeling. Up until that moment, Ronnie hadn't really been entirely aware of Stein. He hadn't really tried, but he hadn't really been able to feel the other man in his head. But he could tell the instant that Stein fell asleep, and he realized that he'd been feeling hints of the other man's emotions since they'd woken up – they'd just all too often aligned with what Ronnie had already been feeling.

Once Stein was asleep, Ronnie followed shortly after, despite the problems and questions running rampant through his mind.

The next morning, Ronnie waited until Caitlin was fully awake – dressed, ready for the day, and sitting down eating breakfast with him – before he came clean.

"There's… there's a few things I haven't told you," he said. He was still wearing the cheap sunglasses he'd taken from the library lost and found, not having bothered to look for his own pair yet.

Caitlin looked mildly apprehensive, but smiled at him. "You're here," she said gently, a promise that, whatever he had to say, it would be alright.

He smiled back, relaxing, knowing she would stand by him despite the strangeness of the situation.

"It's a little… strange," he said aloud, hesitating nevertheless.

She reached over and took his hand. "Ronnie, whatever it is, we can face it together."

He nodded, and reached upward.

Ronald took the sunglasses off and the young woman gasped, one hand moving to cover her mouth in shock.

"Can you still…" she started to ask after a moment.

"See?" Ronald finished for her. He nodded. "Just as perfectly as before. I don't know Caitlin."

She leaned forward in her seat and traced Ronald's eye socket gently with her thumb. Since this was also apparently Martin's body too now, but also, it wasn't his, he felt her touch as well, but it was faint, as though he was half asleep and barely aware of himself, no matter how alert his mind was.

"I feel fine," Ronald continued as she did so. "I didn't even realize it until I saw my reflection, but…"

It was the truth, as far as Martin was aware of it. Not having a body of his own was strange, especially because to him, he didn't especially feel disconnected. Stuck together, he saw and heard what Ronald did, had felt his hunger, had known when his bladder was full. He couldn't control any of it, and he found himself enjoying what Ronald ate even though he wouldn't have chosen it himself, but it still felt like the body he was in was his body (or at least, a body connected to his mind, even if it wasn't the one he was used to).

So, when Ronald said that he felt fine, Martin knew it to be the truth, because he felt fine. Or at least, fine if they were talking about illness or pain, physical discomfort. Ronald's body felt healthy, even if his mind and Martin's were in turmoil.

"We should take you to the hospital, I'll call in sick," Caitlin said, already moving for her phone. "You were gone for a month – there's no telling what happened to you."

Ronald reached for her before she could go anywhere, and Martin felt his (their?) fingers gently encircle the young woman's wrist.

"I'd… I'd rather not," Ronald said, tone cautious. "I really do feel fine."

Martin thoroughly agreed with the other man's caution. He had no desire to be a lab rat. Still… "It would be useful," he said, "if we knew more about our circumstances."

"Can't you just… use some of the equipment at STAR Labs?" Ronald continued, giving in to Martin's suggestion, or perhaps just agreeing with him. The young woman before them was a doctor, Ronald had told him earlier, on the walk to the apartment, even if she didn't practice medicine.

Caitlin appeared to waver slightly. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine," Ronald repeated sincerely.

"And me?" Martin asked. Ronald still hadn't told his fiancée about the elephant in the room.

"I'll go with you to work," Ronald continued. "I can see Cisco and Dr. Wells."

Martin supposed it would have to do as an answer, given their circumstances.

STAR Labs looked even larger than Martin remembered it, though he supposed that was probably because of how empty it was: Caitlin and Ronald's car was the only one in the lot as they pulled in, parking near the building entrance. There was no hustle and bustle of activity, no excited scientists doing ground-breaking research, not anymore.

The last time either of them had seen this building had been the night of the explosion, and while that might have happened a month ago, it felt like yesterday to them. Ronald stopped outside the car momentarily, staring up at what had been a promise for the future, and was now instead a destroyed relic of the past.

Caitlin's hand slipping into theirs knocked them both from their contemplations, and Ronald smiled down at her softly. He was wearing his own sunglasses this time, presumably so as to not startle Cisco or Dr. Wells when they ran into them.

"Are you alright," Caitlin began to ask, "coming back here?"

Martin wondered why Ronald wouldn't be, but then remembered the young man's tale of actually entering the particle accelerator before the explosion, giving his life to save others. It was a remarkable story, and the reminder of it had Martin awaiting Ronald's response just as cautiously as Dr. Snow was.

It took a moment before Ronald spoke. "Yeah," he said slowly. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Besides, it didn't turn out too bad, did it?"

The young woman at their side grinned up at him. "No," she said lovingly, "I guess not."

Martin thought about reminding Ronald of his presence – however wonderful it was that they had lived, their current state left many things to be desired – but he doubted Ronald had forgotten. Instead he remained silent, letting Ronald take them into the building.

The halls they walked through were silent and dark, lit only from the sunlight streaming through the windows, and it wasn't until they reached the elevator that there was any evidence that the electricity even worked at all. The place felt abandoned, and empty, filled with a myriad of empty rooms, sheets covering the unused furniture.

"We try to save a bit on the electricity bill," Caitlin said offhandedly as the elevator let them out one floor below where they'd entered. She flicked the first switch she'd touched since entering the building, lighting the hallway before them. "Given that it's just the four of us."

"Four?" Ronald asked.

"The young man in a coma, I presume," Martin said, almost simultaneously with Caitlin's own: "Oh, I was counting Barry Allen – the guy who got struck by lightning when the accelerator exploded."

They turned a corner, Ronald evidently familiar with the area as he led them into the room in front of them. Martin took the room to be the main control room for the accelerator, given the circular row of computers and the equipment scattered around. Mr. Allen, presumably, was lying motionless in a room off to the side, though the glass walls and door didn't lend him much privacy (not that he needed it).

"Cisco usually gets here before I do," Caitlin said as they entered the room, "but I guess we beat him today." She turned then, the sound of the elevator ringing through the hall, and chuckled. "I guess not by much though."

Martin could feel Ronald's matching smile.

"I'll… I should probably warn him," Caitlin said.

They waited in the room as she hurried into the hall, moving to meet this Cisco before he ran into them.

"Caitlin?" a young male voice called out, tone slightly confused. "You're here early."

"I… I need to tell you something," Caitlin said, hesitating. "I didn't want to do it over the phone." There was the briefest of pauses. "No, no, nothing bad," Caitlin continued, no doubt responding to some nonverbal cue. "I just… it's Ronnie. Ronnie's alive."

Another short pause.

"What?"

"He survived," Caitlin continued. "He showed up at our apartment last night. He doesn't know where he's been the past month but… but he's alive Cisco."

"Where is he?" the question was somewhat hurried, expectant. "Did you…?"

Caitlin must have gestured, or otherwise indicated the answer, because there were footsteps once more. The two of them entered the room, and Martin got his first look at Ronald's friend. Cisco was young, no doubt close to Caitlin and Ronald's own age, with hair that was just a touch too long. His shirt was a picture of the galaxy, with one of those Google Maps pins on it indicating the Earth's location, and he wore a jacket over it in a crude attempt to be somewhat formal.

But there was a hopeful look on his face, and he embraced Ronald fully as soon as their eyes locked.

"Ronnie, man, I thought you were a goner," he said, voice cracking.

Martin felt Ronald return the hug whole-heartedly. "So did I."

He tuned out of the conversation as the two continued to talk. It was starting to feel like he was intruding into these people's lives, like a peeping Tom almost, first with Ronald's fiancée, then his best friend. No doubt the feeling had arisen largely because they didn't know he was present, however much Ronald was aware of it.

And Martin had to admit he'd had his doubts about that too, wondering if this was some sort of nightmare. But he'd resigned himself to the fact that if it was a nightmare, it was a waking one, and the circumstances he found himself in were very real.

Very real and very confusing. He didn't know what had happened, or how it really affected them, only that it had happened. Could he even be considered alive anymore, without a body to call his own, living out the rest of his existence stuck to Ronnie Raymond? Would he live the rest of his life stuck to the other man? What would happen if Ronald got hurt, or worse? And Martin was older than Ronald, could he age without a body, and die before the younger man?

When it seemed like the personal greetings were done, Martin tuned back into the conversation, pulling himself from his thoughts before he spiraled into an endless loop of what-ifs he didn't have the answers to.

"Have you ever heard of, like… two people existing in one body?" Ronald was asking uncertainly.

Dr. Snow and Mr. Ramon exchanged confused looks.

"You mean like… multiple personality disorder?" Caitlin asked after a moment.

Ronald bit his lip, apparently searching for the words, then shook his head. "No, no, forget I said anything."

"Are you sure you're feeling alright?" Caitlin asked, moving forward to place a hand on Ronald's forehead. "You feel a little warm." She didn't wait for a response, turning to Cisco. "Can you help me get the…"

"Yeah," Cisco agreed easily.

"Wait here," Caitlin ordered, and the two of them hurried off, no doubt to fetch the medical supplies.

"What was that?" Martin asked harshly. With nothing to do but think, his endless questions had put him in a mood, and he wanted answers as soon as possible. Answers they wouldn't get if they kept the truth about their condition hidden. As much as Martin didn't want to be a lab rat, he wanted information more, and if Ronald trusted these two, then that was going to have to be enough for him. (Apparently, if he trusted them was the right question to ask.)

Ronald shook his head again. "They're never going to believe it – not without proof. I barely believe it."

"I think my life should be proof enough!"

"I've been gone – somewhere – for a month. I could have Googled you at any point."

"I could tell you things that cannot be found with a simple Google search."

"But how would they verify them?"

That gave Martin pause, distracting him from his frustration. "Clarissa," he said after a moment, longing to see his wife.

Ronald started to pace. "Yeah, maybe," he offered. "But…"

"Maybe what?" Cisco asked, he and Caitlin re-entering the room with their hands full.

"Maybe uh… maybe you're right," Ronald said, floundering slightly. "I'm missing a month of my life. I feel fine, but I might not be as healthy as I think."

Caitlin and Cisco exchanged looks, a tinge of worry coloring both of their expressions – though it was overshadowed by the sheer relief they both seemed to feel now that their friend was once more among the living.

Clarissa, Martin thought wistfully, with regret, wondering how she had handled the month without him. He'd seen the missing persons report Ronald had found on the library computer, so she was still looking, hadn't given up on him, but even so… The longer he was gone, the more she would suffer.

This afternoon then, he decided, as Dr. Snow attached a blood pressure cuff to Ronald's arm. He would convince Ronald to visit her one way or another.

As Caitlin worked, Ronald talked with Cisco. Martin just felt annoyed: he didn't know these people and he was trapped in this room, trapped in Ronald's body, listening to what Ronald heard. And Cisco mostly talked about things that held no interest to Martin, covering topics that Caitlin had missed the previous night on the status of old friends and co-workers, and what Cisco had been up to the past month.

But though they shared the same body, Martin was coming to the conclusion that they didn't share the same brain, or at least his neural networks were separate than Ronald's – not that he was a neurologist of any sort. He was coming to this conclusion, because although he saw what Ronald saw, and heard what Ronald heard, he didn't process it the same way. Which meant that while Ronald was conversing with Cisco, Martin was paying attention to Caitlin, noting their blood pressure and temperature as she took them.

Nothing jumped out at him, but it wasn't exactly his area of expertise. The only thing he did notice, which Caitlin mentioned as she finished, was their temperature.

"You're running a little hot, but everything else seems fine," she said, still a tinge of concern in her voice.

Ronald reached for her, grabbing her hand. "See, nothing to worry about."

"I could run a blood test…" she started to offer.

"Cait," Ronald interrupted gently. "I'm fine."

"Are we certain about that?" Martin asked. He supposed it would have been strange if Ronald had requested a thorough blood test or brain scan, but it all came down to a matter of trust in his mind. If Ronald was going to tell his two friends the truth about his circumstances, then surely requesting additional tests was a reasonable thing to do.

"When does Dr. Wells get in?" Ronald continued, as though Martin hadn't said a thing.

"In about an hour," Cisco said easily. "It… it takes him a bit longer to get ready in the mornings…"

No doubt because of the wheelchair that Dr. Snow had mentioned the previous night. Ronald pushed past the awkward silence. "Just the three of us then," he said cheerfully.

Martin coughed pointedly. There was most definitely a fourth person in the room, and he didn't appreciate being ignore.

"Show me this suit you're working on," Ronald continued, turning to Cisco. "For the, uh, firefighters."

"It's not a suit yet," the other young man corrected, "I'm just testing out some fabrics right now."

"If you are not going to tell your friends anything," Martin interjected, "then I would like to see my wife now."

"Just… give me a minute Cisco," Ronald said aloud. "I'm gonna run to the bathroom real quick."

Knowing very well that Ronald didn't actually need to use the restroom, Martin assumed that his new-found acquaintance was taking them somewhere to speak in private. As such, he remained silent as Ronald left the room, took them down the hall, and shut the door behind them.

"If you do not believe that your friends will believe us, then speaking with Clarissa is our logical next course of action," he said as soon as the door latched.

"I said we would talk to your wife and I meant it," Ronald countered, slightly irritated. "This is all very unreal, and..."

"Unfortunately, as much as you may wish to pretend otherwise," Martin interrupted, tired of the way Ronald kept ignoring their situation, "this is very real." While Ronald might have been able to shut him out and ignore him and pretend that he wasn't there, Martin didn't have the luxury of acting the same.

"I know that," Ronald said, gritting his teeth. "Just give me some time with my friends."

"My research is also at my home," Martin continued. "If we can find a way out of this first, then you can visit your friends all you like."

"I can't just walk out on them–" Ronald started.

"Perhaps if you trusted them, and were willing to explain the circumstances–"

"You're the one who said they wouldn't believe me!"

"You have seen your fiancée Ronald, I wish to see my wife!" Martin finally snapped.

"My name is Ronnie!" Ronald half-yelled in response. He gestured wildly as he spoke, and when he was done both his and Martin's anger had been replaced by astonishment and no small amount of fear: in the mirror in front of them they could see Ronald's reflection, including the flames that had sprung to life around them.

AN: This part of the story is finished, and will consist of three chapters, updated every two weeks. There will (should) be a sequel.

It was beta'd by the awesome radpineapple.

Hope you liked it, let me know what you thought!