give us a little love (we never had enough), a d n angel fanfic

Give us a little love (we never had enough)

Summary: Daisuke takes his first kiss from Riku Harada when he's fourteen. The moon is high overhead, and he is Dark and Dark is him and he is head over heels in love with a girl whose sister he used to love, but now loves Dark only.

Years later, Dark steals his last kiss, breathless and wild and tasting of desperation, unquestionable love and what-might-have-beens. Daisuke tangles his hands in Dark's hair as Dark angles his head back and hides their last actions behind a curtain of black wings. In that last moment it is only them, only that tiny little dark space in an ever-turning world, and Dark's words from so long ago echoing in each of them.

"Your first love doesn't have to be your last."

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Daisuke's life is a series of romances told through his kisses. Some are quick and chaste, brief and fleeting, leaving him with a craving for more. Some are deeper, heavier, tinged with nervousness and the sharp bite of first passions. All carry the different flavors of the people he's kissing, all carry their own stories of life, love and loss. Each is a step towards the next, a reminder of the last, an experience all by itself.

Daisuke takes his first kiss from Riku Harada when he's fourteen. The moon is high overhead, and he is Dark and Dark is him and he is head over heels in love with a girl whose sister he used to love, but now loves Dark only. He tells himself that it was Dark that kissed Riku and not him, runs away after it is all said and done as anxiety and fear of having lost himself take over. It is Dark that brings him back, calling his name again and again with increasing desperation and fear and worry and finally tracing his footsteps down to that private place locked up inside their head where one goes while the other tries to live.

The kiss was warm and sweet like the first taste of spring, soft and brief, full with Daisuke's quivering fear over discovery that beat within his rabbit heart as he'd fled the scene. Later there are more kisses, but none ever taste the same as that night, and out of all of them it is the first that remains in memory longest.

His second kiss is forceful and bitter, given to him by Hiwatari in the middle of a war he doesn't want when he is sixteen and high on the rush of a good heist. Hiwatari pursues him like a bloodhound with a scent and Daisuke runs and climbs and ducks and dodges but it is never enough, it is as if Hiwatari has his personal scent in his nose and is refusing to relent tonight, so when Daisuke trips up he isn't given the chance to shift or change course; his opposite slams him into a pillar, snarling, "You fool," before smothering his cries of denial between their mouths.

It tastes of blood and lost tears and broken friendships, Hiwatari's teeth scraping along his bottom lip like the jutting angles of shattered bones. It is Dark who pulls him away, breathless and mouth ravaged, shifting in a flurry of black feathers and adrenaline. Dark flies them home, stays on alert the entire time and for once doesn't crow about their victory, because rather than feeling like a victory it feels like the worst kind of loss and Daisuke doesn't understand why.

In the morning there are quiet words of understanding and apology, and in school Hiwatari stares at him with the too-cold eyes of a distant stranger and pretends not to know him.

Later, there is one more kiss between them, and it tastes of the last air in Satoshi Hikari's lungs and the salty tears of Daisuke's faintest 'goodbye'. Both kisses are remembered later, and both are only remembered on those broken, cold nights when the monsters lurk in the back of Daisuke's mind and there is no cheeky thief to chase them away, because Satoshi Hikari was one of the few people who could always make him cry.

Daisuke's third kiss is given in drunken merriment, given to him by Takeshi Saehara after an attempt to impress a group of girls into thinking he's manly during a camping trip, when he swallows four shots of alcohol without pause. What it does is make him tipsy and then full-out drunk, to the point where Daisuke has to haul him back to their cabin, apologizing to the girls for the disturbance and offering to cover damages. The girls giggle and Dark grumbles, and on the path back to their cabin Takeshi turns to him and says, "Yu-yur a g-good fred, Dee," before planting a sloppy kiss on his mouth, giggling as he does.

It's as stale and messy as whatever Takeshi swallowed, and even Dark gags from the odor of it. He gets Takeshi settled into his bed, and rushes to the bathroom to brush his teeth immediately after. It takes four shots of mouthwash to get rid of the taste, but even after Dark complains about the disgusting fuzziness in his mouth and demands he beat Saehara over the head for his insolence. Instead, Daisuke pretends not to have any cure for hangovers come morning and so Saehara wallows in misery he himself caused while Daisuke gets away scot-free. It is the last kiss they ever share, and Saehara never recalls what happened on the path home, for which Daisuke is grateful.

Daisuke's fourth, fifth and sixth kisses are all given to him by a variety of classmates that he goes on dates with over the many months. They're faint memories, barely recallable unless he truly tries, but he thinks maybe one of them wore strawberry lipstick and another too much perfume. Dark would know better than he, but by the time he thinks back on these things, Dark is no longer with him.

Daisuke's seventh kiss is given to him by Risa on his birthday. It's a chaste and friendly reminder of a romance that died long ago, and Daisuke's heart does not beat louder this time, he only smiles and thanks her for her kindness, and watches as she rushes off to talk to Satoshi, who has begun to take more and more of her attention as of late. Dark grumbles about not being the popular one anymore, but inside Daisuke can feel his relief as palpable as his own. Risa's attention is intense and obsessive, and many have been the nights Daisuke's worried about her future without a Phantom Thief in it.

There are other kisses after that, all of them going the way of Daisuke's fourth through sixth. He gains a little more experience with every one, a little more inside knowledge into the workings of people, understanding about the world and the frailty of life. Time marches on, unrelenting, unstoppable, heist after heist and night after night between himself and Dark until at last...

It all comes to a close.

Later, much later, when he and Dark have been together for six years, when their heists have become famous, when Risa and Riku have gone their own ways and all that's left at the edge of the world is Dark and Daisuke and Krad and Satoshi and the Black Wings, Daisuke's last kiss comes.

Their bodies split, and Daisuke watches from their bedroom window, breathless, as the vortex of feathers erupts over the city, as Krad and Dark clash again and again and again, and he feels his heart pound in his chest out of worry for his partner. He screams Dark's name, screams for his victory, even as tears come readily and without fail because he knows this is the end, that this is their last moment together, and soon the Black Wings will return to their artwork once more, and Daisuke will be alone-

Dark comes back to him one final time. He throws Krad into the ocean, and he swoops down over Daisuke, landing on the windowsill and crouching there, black wings extended, eyes burning with a peculiar flame as he watches his former tamer breathe and cry and stare back. Daisuke chokes back a cry, and tries to smile one last time. Tries to tell him I'm so happy I met you, thank you so much for coming into my life, for showing me how great the world could be. But the words don't come. What comes out instead is Dark, please, and like a predator Dark lunges forward, suddenly in motion, and Daisuke reaches out, helpless to do anything but welcome him into himself one final time.

"Your first love doesn't have to be your last."

Daisuke doesn't allow Dark a single chance to pull back, and Dark doesn't seek one. They push and pull, give and receive pleasure in equal measure, speaking without words through the kiss, each hoping the other is hearing what needs to be said tonight, because this is their last chance at laying it all on the table.

Dark might not be human, but Daisuke is. When he finally pulls back, his lips are swollen from Dark's tongue and teeth, and Dark's staring down at him with eyes so black they look like the void. But all their goodbyes have been said, the words neither would dare speak aloud heard by the other. Dark touches Daisuke's face one final time, and then steps back, turns, and is gone.

It is this kiss Daisuke remembers best above all others, a memory painted bright by the passionate flames of youth and the sharp canvas of emotion. Years later, when he and Riku see each other again, and even later when they're planning a future for their firstborn, a daughter they name Yui, Daisuke never forgets that night so long ago, when the moon shone high overhead, the whirlwind of feathers a climax to all their adventures, and the Phantom Thief Dark had pressed unspoken words of devotion and adoration into his mouth as well as a promise to see him again, because I'll come back, Daisuke.

I always come back.