Clinging to the Future

Chapter 1

Enjoy!

She spent her twenty-third birthday wondering if the life she had known before meeting Alex in that shitty college bar was all a dream because she didn't feel like she was actually living until she met her.

She spent her twenty-sixth birthday trying to cope without that seductive, raven-haired goddess she had gotten so used to over the past three years. She was nearing the point where she just couldn't bear to compete with Alex's monster of a job anymore.

She spent her thirty-second birthday between the confines of four wooden walls surrounded by a massive ocean being showered with love and passion from Alex. They had gone to Cambodia, a place that Alex had bookmarked as Piper's favorite place since the first time they visited years ago.

Now she was spending her thirty-seventh birthday sitting across from her girlfriend in a beige-walled prison for the very first time, their two month old daughter sleeping soundly in Alex's arms. She had thought things had finally levelled off in their lives and everything would be smooth from there on out, but it had all seemed to fall apart again.

The door being kicked in and Alex's name being shouted was the least of her worries.

The swarms of cops and agents pouring through every crevice of her home with their guns drawn wasn't at the top of the list either.

Seeing her girlfriend being lifted off the couch and thrown against the wall by these men was what sent her mind into overdrive. They repeatedly asked her to stand back as they apprehended her partner and refused to answer any of her questions.

Piper could see Alex physically struggling. The side of her face was smashed against the white textured wall of their living room. Fear was ever present in her emerald orbs. Multiple sets of blue and red flashing lights were pouring into the living room through open curtains. Officers were asking her questions, but all she could do was focus on Alex.

They had been enjoying a nice quiet night while watching the food channel after a walk around the park across the street when they were interrupted. The couple had been having an affable conversation about work as well but that was cut short.

"Alex Vause, you're under arrest for heroin trafficking under the command of Kubra Balik." A man in uniform clicked the cuffs around the brunette's wrists, but still kept her firm against the wall. There were teams of agents searching every nook and cranny of their Brooklyn brownstone.

Instantly, Piper's stomach violently flipped to where she had to swallow back the bile that rose in her throat. She hadn't heard that repugnant name in over ten years. She and Alex rarely talked about her past career. It had been a tiring and sinister adventure leaving the cartel and it was something they both didn't wish to endure again.

"Piper." Alex was sweating, tears streaming down her cheeks. There were so many officers around the brunette that the blonde couldn't reach her. She was pinching herself trying to wake up from this horrific dream, but it was actually reality.

"Ms. Chapman, please stay out of the way." Before Piper could utter a word, she was being pushed back towards the couch. Books were being opened, drawers were being pulled, baskets were being upturned, yet the agents weren't finding anything conducive.

Part of the blonde wanted to stand up for her girlfriend, but she also knew she should keep her mouth shut considering she had once smuggled drug money for the same cartel across foreign borders.

"Ms. Vause will be taken down to the city jail and be placed in holding. She'll be able to contact you from there." The officer released Alex from the wall, and Piper could see her girlfriend visibly shaking. She was refusing to speak unless it was simple questions like her name or birthdate.

"Can I hug her?" Piper had tears streaming down her face. She was truly fucking scared for what this meant for the future and the present.

"I'm afraid not, ma'am. Our orders were to extract the criminal and leave." Two officers pushed Alex towards the front door.

"Let me talk to her." Bile was rising up in Piper's throat once again at how angry she was. She attempted to push past the officers but another two pushed her back, stating that if she continued to get in the way, she'd be charged with being uncooperative on the scene.

"We have-." She was cut off again, but this time an officer pushed her to sit down on the couch. "Please." She begged.

The tears began to pour as she felt her whole being crumble from the inside out. She was overwhelmed, confused, and concerned all at once. Seeing the love of her life being shoved around and put in handcuffs wasn't something she handled lightly.

"Piper, I love you." Alex cried as they escorted her out the door and down the front steps of their home.

"I love you, too." Piper stood up from the couch with her hands threaded through her hair, blue eyes sparkling with tears. She was to the point of pulling her hair out. Ten minutes ago, everything had been peaceful, but now it was a fiasco. She didn't have answers to any of her questions, and she was ready to scream.

She could see her girlfriend being placed into the back of a cop car, tears continuing to stream down her face.

"Ms. Chapman, we're sorry to come in like this, but your partner is being charged with heroin trafficking…" The officer continued on, but Piper heard none of it. All she could do was watch Alex fall apart in the back of the cop car and her eyes stayed glued to her until the car disappeared down the street.

The blonde signed a few forms and let the officers out. She couldn't even properly lock her front door due to it being kicked down upon the officer's entry.

As soon as the last officer had stepped off the porch, Piper slid her back down the front door until her butt hit the ground and her knees were bent in front of her face. She felt useless and completely mortified at what she just had to witness. Her mind was racing as to who could've turned Alex in? What were the statute of limitations in New York?

Piper's mind continued to race and the tears continued to pour until she heard one of the upstairs bedrooms doors creak open.

Her heart began to pound as she quickly stood up, grabbing the umbrella from beside the door and bounding up the stairs. She peeked into the open doored room and found it empty.

When she crossed the hallway, she found herself in front of the master bedroom and the door was closed. She didn't remember closing it earlier on in the evening.

By now, her heart was threatening to beat out of her chest. She touched the door knob and gently turned it. Her eyes immediately fixed on the lump in the middle of the bed. Piper could faintly hear the soft whispers and whines coming from beneath comforter.

"It's okay, P. I got you."

The closer the blonde walked towards the bed, the more clearly she could hear her four year old. She quietly set down the umbrella before reaching for the comforter.

Gently, the blonde peeled back the covers and was greeted with the sight of her four year old, Andrew, laying nose to nose with his month old sister, Penelope. The little boy was softly running his hand down the side of the whimpering infants face, attempting to console her.

Piper figured her son had retrieved Penelope from her bassinette beside the bed and put her under the covers with him as a form of protection for the both of them. The fact that he had picked his newborn sister up and moved her was completely absent from her mind, but the fact that he had taken on the protector role was at the foremost part of her brain.

"Drew." The mother whisper, lovingly running a hand down her son's head. "Are you okay, sweetie?"

"Mommy, they took mama." His face was so full of concern as he sat up and instantaneously Piper's heart shattered into even smaller pieces that he witnessed his mother be escorted out of their home in handcuffs. Drew didn't let his hand stop the soothing motions he was delivering to his sister's head.

"I know, babe." Piper bit back the tears, hoping he wouldn't go any further. She wasn't sure if she could take it. "Did you get Penelope out by yourself?"

Drew nodded as he bowed his head. "I'm sorry, I know I'm not supposed to. She was crying."

"No, baby its fine." Piper sat down on the bed, cupping her son's cheeks and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "You're not in trouble."

Drew nodded again, his features lightening back up.

"Thank you for calming her down." The blonde readjusted the swaddle around Penelope that had likely come undone when Drew retrieved her from the bassinette and pulled her in close.

"Mommy, where's mama?" The four year old sat up on his knees and cupped his mother's cheeks. "Did she do something bad? Is that why the police man came and took her away?"

The tears welled back up in the blonde's eyes. When she blinked, one fell from each eye. She was struggling with how to tell her son anything about what was going. She could barely understand herself so how was a four year old supposed to understand? A child who is not told where their mother is may worry and imagine things which may be much worse and Piper knew this would be Drew's case.

"Uh," Piper breathed, trying to compose herself. "Mama made some bad choices a long time ago and now those bad choices are making her have consequences. You know like when you make a bad choice? You have consequences depending on what you did?"

"Uh huh." Drew ran his hand down Piper's arm, trying to console her just as he did his sister.

"I just want you to know that none of this is you or your sister's fault. Do you understand?"

"Yes, mommy." The four year old yawned. It was just after eleven and he had likely been woken up from the intrusion and then ran to where his sister was.

Piper felt like such a shitty mother. Her oldest had to watch his mother get arrested, and stayed awake to be with his sister. She was sure he was exhausted, but she knew they couldn't stay in this house tonight with the doors being kicked in. Nor did she want to stay in this house.

"Why don't you go get a bag of toys packed and I'll pack you and your sister's clothes? I think we're gonna see if we can stay with Aunt Polly tonight, kay?" Piper smiled as best she could. She knew she needed to be strong for her children, especially her son.

Drew smiled back, his blue orbs glimmering in the pale moonlight filtering in through the blinds.

Piper watched her son bounce off the bed and run across the hall to his room. Oh how she wished she could be in as good of spirits as he still was.

She couldn't help but let herself momentarily break with her daughter peacefully sleeping in her arms. Tears poured down her face as she tried hard to muffle her sobs to not wake up Penelope, but she couldn't bring herself to set her down.

The blonde nuzzled her daughter attempting to let the intoxicating baby smell wash over her senses in hopes to calm her down, but it only caused her to cry harder when a terrifying reality hit her.

A/N: Lots of mixed emotions on this one. I've had it sitting in my folder for over a year, but I'm interested to see what you guys think.