Summary:

Events around Carvkae begin to pick up speed as she comes to the realization that she has a larger role to play at House T'Soni than she expected.

Reference:

Double length chapter as Carvkae's story expands. And here I always thought we'd see Denai's backstory first.

This chapter takes us over 100,000 words for Asunder and 400,000 for Cari'ssi'mi (including Drabbles, although many of them aren't on FF because they don't make much sense out of order. I might correct that soon.)

Remember when Asunder was only going to be "Obligations" length?

1986 CE

Matriarch Laemenia demanded consistency in her life. Not an unusual position for a matriarch, but she was one of the few who took it upon herself to apply her version of that consistency across as many venues as possible.

Which was why she founded a school. An institution whose very foundation was based on Laemenia's idea of the education and guidance that a young asari should receive.

Children and maidens weren't known for their discipline, and if she could instill some upon them, even just the small population whose parent could afford her school, then hers was a life well spent. It was her calling, and she considered herself lucky to have found her life's work while she still had centuries remaining to dedicate to it.

It was early afternoon, and she was engrossed in curriculum design when she heard the outside door open.

'Odd,' thought Laemenia. She had no appointments this afternoon, and it wasn't late enough in the day to be an impatient parent. She knew the schedules for all the children. There were no early pickups today, and no parent would arrive unannounced. Goddess no! Sharvha Academy was far too structured for that. Even Calezis' dreadful krogan husband knew better than to collect his daughter too early or too late. She smiled at the memory. The krogan picked up his daughter twice a week, the days when Calezis was in the city. After some rather intense discussions, he'd finally learned to keep his place in line. These days he could usually be seen chatting with the other parents while waiting for the children to be released. He might occasionally glance in her direction, and Laemenia might even acknowledge him with an approving nod if she felt so inclined.

It had really only taken one 'major' incident for them to reach their current understanding. Her educational competence wasn't limited to children. Even krogan could be brought to heel with appropriate motivation.

She brought herself back to the moment. Whoever had come in obviously wasn't a krogan. They hadn't made a sound. Unusual. She couldn't think of anyone who wouldn't have announced themselves upon arrival. She took a breath to center herself, and circumvent the annoyance rising within. She had no interest in this distraction, but it couldn't be helped as the rest of the staff were with the children. She saved her work and stepped out of her office.

"Maci?" Her visitor was a surprise, but not a pleasant one. The maiden in her lobby was well known to her.

"Matriarch," the girl was hesitant, unlike her typical gregarious self. Also unusual. There were times when Maci's behavior could cause her to be mistaken for one of the children.

'Goddess.' Laemenia closed her eyes and took another breath to stave off an unmatriarchly response. She had a reputation to maintain. Something had happened, no doubt. She could only guess what it might be this time. The maiden was hesitant to even make eye contact. Carvkae's mother must be off planet again, or otherwise again prioritizing her tiny commando unit over her daughter. Laemenia saw no good in it. Serrice already had four chartered militias when Erisslea had petitioned the republic's ministry to charter a fifth. Laemenia had voted against it, of course. Serrice already had too much of a martial bent in her opinion. There was no need to encourage it further. Unfortunately, the manufacturing consortium of Serrice Council carried too much weight with the matriarchy. This was Thessia. As the matriarchs vote, so follows the populace.

As a matriarch herself, Laemenia was usually more than satisfied with that arrangement. In this case, she'd been overruled by the desire of Serrice to have one more outlet for the Serrice Council consortium to demonstrate their wares.

Which was how Erisslea, barely a matron, had managed to maneuver herself into the captaincy of a chartered militia, supported and funded by one of the preeminent republics on Thessia.

"What is it Maci?" The young huntress still hadn't spoken. Erisslea placed too much responsibility on her young lieutenant, and sometimes it showed. Laemenia stepped to the still silent maiden. "Is Erisslea not coming to pick Carvkae up today?" She waited for a response before continuing. "She can't keep doing this to her you know. If you and the rest of her little band of huntresses requires this much attention, then she needs to step down, or at least learn to delegate. Give the child fifty years or so to learn she can depend on her mother before leaving on missions to goddess knows where." She was on a roll now. "It isn't like Serrice needs another commando unit. You Paladins end up taking jobs all over the Republics just to stay busy." That comment might not make it back to Erisslea in its entirety, but it would certainly let the matron know that she was not impressed with her behavior.

"I'm here for Carvkae," Maci finally responded. "I need to bring her to Erisslea."

"No," responded Laemenia flatly. "It's too early. You know the rules. Just because our schedule is inconvenient for-"

"Please Matriarch," Maci interrupted, shocking Laemenia by doing so. "There isn't much time."

"Isn't much time for what?" Demanded Laemenia.

Maci finally met her glare.

'Oh.' Further words were unnecessary.

Matriarchs might be known to linger overlong on decisions, but Laemenia was faster than most. She also wasn't one to hesitate once that decision was made. She activated her omni-tool with a flick of her fingers. "Myral, bring Carvkae to my office at once. Bring her coat as well. She'll be leaving." An uncertain voice began to raise an objection before Laemenia cut her off. "No discussion, Myral. Just do as I say."

She returned her attention to Maci. The maiden was starting to shake, and Laemenia placed a hand on the maiden's shoulder to steady her. 'Too much responsibility indeed,' she thought.

"Wait here, child," she comforted. "You're in no condition to drive. I'll get my things."

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

2040 CE

Her omni-tool chimed softly, muted after a handful of fumbled attempts to silence it. Her eye opened, the barest of slivers, but enough to confirm there was only the first hint of light outside her window. She closed the disappointed eye with a sigh.

It was early. Too early, yet also exactly on time.

'I'm not getting up.' She curled into herself, pulling her bedding tightly around her.

'I've been good for two weeks,' she thought. 'More than good. No one's going to know if I sleep in today.'

That was it, she decided. She'd remain in her bed until midday. When she just couldn't force herself to stay under the covers any longer, she'd get up, shower, and make her way to the market. Kyora should still have some egance fruit left. Tart and sweet, it was one of her favorites. As such, it was a treat that Maci would only allow in moderation.

'Not today!' She thought evilly. Kyora would be nearing the end of her workday by the time Carvkae planned to arrive. They might talk for a while, idle comments about the weather and the next rotation of crops to be harvested. Maybe some harmless gossip while she put her goods away, and then"Oh, Carvkae, I know you love these so much. Just take them all," she could almost hear Kyora make the suggestion when Carvkae would offer to buy two.

Of course she couldn't insult her generosity by turning them down. Her mouth was watering already, just thinking about it. She would have egance for lunch and dinner.

'Sigh…' Such a beautiful fantasy. She cursed Maci mildly, internally blaming the older maiden as the incarnation of her conscience.

It didn't matter. She might grumble and complain, but it wouldn't keep her from starting her day. She was too disciplined for that. When it was time to get up, she got up.

She slid out from under the covers, placing her feet on the cool stone of the floor. She pulled the sheets up as she stood, that much easier to make the bed. Make it first, before she exercised, before she showered. Open the curtains, open the windows, listen to the pre-dawn silence typical at the edge of the city. There was just a hint of chill to the morning air. It would warm quickly today, she knew. Best to hurry, get her morning run in before their little compound was fully in the sun. She slipped on a pair of shorts and running shoes before heading downstairs. The others might run in leathers, but Maci would never let her. Didn't want her getting 'ideas.' It wasn't like she didn't live with a goddess-damned commando unit.

"Your mother would never forgive me." The persuasion of last resort, the one against which she had no defense. Carvkae hated being so easy to manipulate, but it was her own doing. Maci worked so hard keeping the Paladins together.

And Carvkae expected to become one of them someday.

But for now she was… something. She wasn't really sure what. She wasn't a huntress, all of her sneakily obtained training notwithstanding. At seventy-seven she was still too young to be seen as able to make her own choices, but old enough to chafe at the restrictions placed on her by the adults in her life.

Using the term adult loosely, of course. The Paladins were entirely made up of maidens.

Maci did her best. Sometimes she was able to recruit a matron, usually one who was far from the peak of her career. They'd even had a matriarch once, Verix. She'd taught Carvkae so much about biotics during her time with them, time the matriarch had spent trying to find a noble cause to sacrifice herself for. There were few old commandos, and matriarchs were almost unheard of. Too many memories, too many lost comrades. Eventually she'd departed, following the rumor of an ardat-yakshi that had decimated the crew of an asteroid mine. They'd never heard from her again, but Carvkae still thought of her often.

Silent footfalls as she darted through the downstairs, checking security, taking a quick glance through the comms, generally making sure that nothing was out of place. Heva didn't stir at the disturbance, the old varren lying across the doorway to Maci's office, once her mother's. "Good morning, 'K." Maci's voice calling her by her nickname when Carvkae activated the squad's main terminals. Maci always recorded enough greetings and messages to get Carvkae through any time she was away. Any distraction was good. She knew Carvkae hated being alone.

She palmed the lock to the outside door, the rush of cool air driving away the last of her fatigue. She ignored the track looping around the exercise area, her preference for the feel of natural terrain beneath her feet. Determined footsteps took her from the compound and up into the rolling hills. Dirt kicked up behind her as she lengthened her stride, racing the sunrise.

The day had turned bright when stepped out of the shower, light from Parnitha streaming across her room, and the sky outside a brilliant lavender. The brightness was a direct counterpoint to her rapidly darkening mood, the heights brought about from pushing her physical limits declining as she dressed before facing the responsibilities that lie ahead.

Maci wasn't gone often, and Carvkae hated when she was. Just like she hated it when Janna was gone. Or Riva. Or Nhanide. Even Kinira, no matter how much she teased her. Honestly, she hated when any of the Paladins were gone, but when they were all gone, it was worse.

It sucked. More than anything else, she despised the solitude. It was happening more and more often of late. The choses didn't bother her, she just liked to have someone to talk to.

"'K, don't forget that Saedoa visits today." Maci's voice was a gentle reminder once she came back downstairs. The recordings didn't stem from any belief that Carvkae couldn't be trusted to remember, but to keep her company.

Carvkae might roll her eyes at the idea of the voice memos, but she truly didn't mind. She would have kept herself busy in any event, and she appreciated the trouble Maci went to record the reminders. The common areas were clean. Food had been ordered, and a healthy selection at that. As always, she'd resisted the temptation to stock up on snacks and treats. Heva was fed, wherever the old varren was hiding now, and she'd responded to the few calls that had been routed to the complex.

Not that there had been many. Most of the calls that came into their little compound were for the individual huntresses, and would have been routed to their omni-tools via the closest comm buoy. As for the rest, most would be for Maci, and Saedoa was very much aware that Maci was offworld.

Saedoa was Serrice's current liaison to the Paladins. The matron made no effort to hide her distaste in being assigned the role. She didn't approve of the Paladins in general, or Maci in particular. As Carvkae still held the Paladin charter she'd inherited, Saedoa didn't like her very much either.

It made for interesting interactions. Maci's team was young and capable. Small and lightly equipped, they could be deployed into situations where a larger force would be excessive, or simply not politically prudent. The local matriarchs had grown accustomed to assigning them to situations where deterrence was the desired effect. Assault weapons were far more accepted by the local populace when they were wielded by smiling maidens. That their youthful faces played well on the vids didn't hurt either.

As there was always a need for security and escort details, the Serrice matriarchs kept the small band of Paladins busy.

Though steady, the work also caused a bit of a problem for Maci. Photogenic or not, most huntresses joined a commando outfit for the excitement and danger. Not that escorting a celebrity didn't come with its own hazards, but those were usually limited to keeping other maidens at an appropriate distance.

The six maidens who had been members of the militia when Erisslea died were still who Carvkae meant when she thought of "The Paladins". Maci was devoted to Carvkae, the Paladins, and loyal to her promise to Erisslea to care for them both. The other maidens were loyal to Maci. Matrons and older maidens who passed through the roster weren't inclined to follow a youngster whose sole criteria to be named commander was that Erisslea knew she could trust her with her daughter. Untested leadership and a seemingly endless series of assignments that lacked challenge created a recruitment problem for Serrice's youngest commando unit. Experienced commandos were drawn to the more mature units. If a huntress with experience applied for membership with the Paladins, there was usually a reason they wouldn't be accepted somewhere else.

So, the Paladin roster was usually rounded out with "wannabes". Maidens who had the desire to be huntresses, but came from families that didn't have a martial history. A maiden whose mother never learned how to generate a strong barrier probably wouldn't be able to teach their daughter to make one either.

That didn't mean they were without potential, and Maci had built a reputation on being able to work with potential.

But a half century of training maidens, only to have the good ones move on, left Maci receptive to trying other options. She didn't want to lose her core team of huntresses, so in an effort to make serving with the Paladins more appealing, she'd petitioned the matriarchs for missions with a bit more distinction.

Amazingly, they agreed. The Paladins now found themselves being posted away from Thessia on occasion, in addition to their typical high profile but low risk assignments.

This was one of the few times so far that the entire squad had been deployed.

As the day progressed, Carvkae kept herself busy, but was bored all the same. There just wasn't enough to do when she had the compound to herself. She was too disciplined to allow herself to sit idle, but finding things to do was pushing the limits of her creativity.

'Maybe if I had friends,' she thought resentfully. Not that she meant it. The Paladins had been both her friends and family since she was born. It was like having more sisters than any asari ever actually would.

Early afternoon found her in the courtyard, practicing her biotics. There was a limited number of exercises that Maci considered low enough risk for Carvkae to perform with no one else home. That meant for instance that Carvkae was restricted to resistance training instead of the weights she preferred, but biotics were another story entirely. She could lift boulders until they were a glowing speck above her. And throws? Pulls? None of the Paladins were her equal. A few hours of pushing herself and she'd be comfortably tired in the evening. She was so focused on holding one of the benches in the air that she almost didn't hear her omni-tool's chime of signaling that someone was at the entry.

She threw a towel around her shoulders and she jogged for the door. She tapped her 'tool to activate the porch camera, surprised to see Saedoa, nearly two hours early, with a commando she didn't know. 'Perfect,' she thought, having intended another shower before their appointment.

She connected to the front door speaker as she made her way through the house. "Be right there."

She palmed the door open and immediately turned her back on Saedoa. She headed in the direction of Maci's office, leaving the others to follow. "Maci left everything in the same places she always does, and you have access to all the usual systems. Everything should be in order." 'Just like it always is,' she thought. Saedoa might not approve of the Paladins, but her relationship with Maci wasn't a hostile one, and her audits were typically cursory. That didn't mean that Carvkae would be surprised if she used this opportunity to dive more deeply into militia business than usual. She wasn't concerned. They had nothing to hide. Maci wouldn't let any malfeasance tarnish the memory to Carvkae's mother. Erisslea was more an ideal now, than a person. She was the standard that Maci held them all to.

"Maiden Miris."

Carvkae jerked to a stop, turning at the unfamiliar voice, only then realizing that Saedoa and her companion hadn't followed any further than the entryway.

"Yeah?" She answered, heading back.

"Is there somewhere we could sit down?"

Her eyes flashed to Saedoa, but the matron's face was blank, no answers forthcoming.

"Uh, sure." She nodded her head towards the common area. "There's plenty of room." She changed mental direction at the unexpected request. She'd originally believed the commando was along to assist Saedoa in some way. "Can I get you anything? Tea? Juice? Something to eat?" She was suddenly glad the pantry was stocked in expectation of the Paladin's homecoming a few days hence. She might not have guests often, but she wasn't uncivilized.

"No, thank you." The unknown commando declined her offer as she made her way to one of many couches in the room, taking a seat while Saedoa did the same. "Please sit down."

This was suddenly all too familiar for Carvkae, and she stopped mid-motion on her way to her own seat. "I'd rather stand. Who are you anyway? I don't know why Saedoa brought you today, but I am very busy-"

Saedoa closed her eyes while the commando reiterated her request. "My name is Jaiynis, and I believe it would be better if you sat down."

"Would it?!" Carvkae's voice surged from calm to hysteria in one leap. "Nothing I do is going to make any difference! Is it?!" She whirled to Saedoa. "Who died that you couldn't tell me yourself? That you had to bring someone else so you wouldn't have to? Coward! The matriarchs must have made you come. I'm sure if it were up to you, you would have waited for Maci-" She stopped short.

"Maci," she whispered, suddenly nauseated and dizzy.

Jaiynis stood, and collected Carvkae, guiding her to a seat. Carvkae fell heavily, nearly collapsing, catching her face in her hands. "Maci… Maci," she muttered.

Jaiynis turned to Saedoa. "Water, please." She gave the matron a moment to leave before addressing Carvkae.

She sat down next to the maiden and placed an arm across Carvkae's shoulders as an offering of support. "You should not have had to find out from a stranger," a judgmental glance in Saedoa's direction at that. "But I volunteered to come. Know that you are not alone."

"Not alone?" Carvkae sobbed. "I've been alone for two weeks. Who are you?"

"My name is Jaiynis," the commando repeated. "And I am a huntress, as you can see." When Carvkae didn't respond she continued. "I was a friend of your mother's."

"My mother's?" Carvkae managed to choke out through the sobs. There was a time that she would have jumped at any chance to learn more about her mother, but now she just felt numb.

"Yes," came the reply. "She was my voulos, one of the best I ever trained."

"You should have done better," came the hostile response. "Then maybe she wouldn't be dead too."

"A huntress serves at the pleasure of Kurinth. To accept her blessings, is to be subject to her call." Jaiynis spoke as if it were an incontrovertible truth. "Her gifts are not without price."

"Not without price?" Carvkae screamed as she tried unsuccessfully to pull away from Jaiynis' grasp. "She's dead! Now Maci's dead too! This isn't some temple service where you get to hide behind the writings of siari and tell me that Maci's still with me. She's gone! I know what that means! She's never coming back!"

"They died as heroes," replied Jaiynis, causing Carvkae to jerk in the realization that it wasn't only Maci that she'd lost. "They died performing their duty. They died saving lives."

"They?!" Carvkae's voice rose even louder. "It's not just Maci?! How many were lost?"

"I am sorry." Jaiynis squeezed the shoulder underneath her hand. "I know it brings you no comfort, but many asari are alive right now because..."

"Do you think I care?" Carvkae interrupted, her voice reaching new heights of emotion. "They still died!"

"Of course you care." Jaiynis looked around at the room they occupied. "Look at how much Maci achieved here. How much all the Paladins achieved. You aspire to this. You know the risks they took."

"No." Carvkae was openly sobbing now. "They don't take risks. Just the easy details. Support missions. They're responsible for the light work so the other militias are free to go where they're needed." She hesitated. "Maci promised."

"So they were," conceded Jaiynis. "And this time they were reinforcing Rhemila of the Peltasts."

"I don't care!"

Saedoa had been waiting in the doorway, and took this moment to join them, sitting opposite Carvkae. "You'll feel better if you-"

Carvkae slapped the offered water away, shattering the glass. "Get away from me."

"I only want to-"

"Shut up!" Carvkae cut her off again. "Maci's dead. The Paladins are gone. You got what you wanted!"

"It's not like that-"

"You hated us before and I don't believe you now." She tried to rise, still held in place by Jaiynis. "Get out!"

"Enough," said Jaiynis calmly. "Both of you." She looked to Saedoa first. "The child is understandably distraught, and you are not helping matters. It would be best if you waited somewhere else."

"She's my responsibility," began Saedoa.

"Not today," replied Jaiynis, still holding the shaking Carvkae. "Perhaps never."

"You don't get to make that decision."

"Go." Jaiynis' tone bode no argument.

As soon as Saedoa left the room, Carvkae spoke again. "How did they die?"

"I do not believe you are ready-"

"Was it your fault?" Carvkae attacked. "You said you trained my mother. She trained Maci. Was this your fault?"

Jaiynis shook her head. "Poor instruction was not what brought your mother to her end. Quite the opposite. It was her sense of duty. It seems she had no small skill in instilling those principles in others."

Carvkae just glared. "What. Happened."

Jaiynis allowed herself a resigned sigh. "Serrice sent the Peltasts to Chalkhos." She made eye contact with the maiden she still held across her shoulders. "You know Chalkos?"

"Get on with it," replied Carvkae through gritted teeth.

"Of course. Chalkos is a Terminus world, and a common target for pirates. Intelligence indicated a raid was imminent. Our plan was to deploy in advance, and ambush them on the ground."

"Sounds like it didn't work," pressured Carvkae angrily.

"It was a sound strategy," replied Jaiynis. "The Paladins accompanied, to be held in reserve. They remained in orbit, as to have a mobility advantage in case the pirates were reinforced."

"You're not telling me anything!"

Jaiynis maintained her calm demeanor. "There were additional pirates in the system, but they were not ground forces. Their strategy was one of pyrrhic victory. Instead of landing to engage, they used their ship to push an asteroid into a collision course with the planet. It is a strategy that is becoming more common."

Carvkae's eyes were round in horror. She knew what an asteroid strike could do to an inhabited biosphere.

"The Paladins were not equipped to defend against attack in space. Our ship could not make orbit in time." Jaiynis paused. "Maci used the only weapon she had at her disposal, the shuttle containing her team."

"But it wasn't armed…"

"Mass is a weapon. Velocity is a weapon. Neither would be much use against an enemy encased in a mass effect field, but the asteroid was not."

Carvkae looked at her in horror.

When Carvkae displayed no indication of further hysterics, Jaiynis released her to activate her omni-tool. "She recorded a message." The question was implied.

Carvkae could only nod.

Jaiynis tapped her 'tool, filling the room with the sounds of a shuttle operating well outside its design parameters. After a moment Maci's voice could be heard over the din.

"Hey there 'K. Not much time left. I wanted to say that I'm proud of you. We're all proud of you." Carvkae wiped her eyes as the noises of the shuttle came through Jaiynis' 'tool. "I'm sorry I won't be coming home, and I'm sorry I won't get to meet the amazing huntress that I know you'll become." She heard Maci take a deep breath as alarms starting sounding in the background. "But that's all I'm sorry about. I wanted to make a difference. All of us did. And we are. We'll be remembered for that. Your mother's militia will be remembered for that." A few muffled words so someone away from the audio pickup. "You're just like her you know? Smart, brave, disciplined. The Paladins are going to be something special when you're old enough to lead them."

"They already are," Carvkae choked out through sobs.

"Saedoa!" Maci's words grew louder as she started talking faster. "She's old enough to make a claim on all of her mother's assets, including the militia charter. I have friends who'll know if you don't treat her fairly. They're not people you'll want to-"

"That's where it ends." Jaiynis deactivated her 'tool as she reached to put her arm back around Carvkae's shoulder. "I count myself as one of the friends to whom she referred. I'm sorry for your-"

"Don't say it."

"You are very like your mother," commented Jaiynis after a time. "I see a great deal of her in you."

"The person you knew died a long time ago," dismissed Carvkae. "My mother might have been the first Paladin, but it was Maci who made the Paladins what they became." She sniffled before whispering. "It was Maci who made me who I am."

"You have had many honorable influences in your life," agreed Jaiynis. "Saedoa has told me much about you. It was your choice to live your life as an embodiment of those beliefs."

"I never had a choice!" She wailed.

"Life is choice young huntress. I think I will choose to remain here for a time."

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Carvkae woke to the unpleasant sensation of someone squeezing her crests. She opened a bleary eye, revealing the somewhat bothersome attention to be from House T'Soni's resident physician.

"Stop it." Carvkae tried weakly to push the offending hands away.

Iadri didn't pause. "No."

"No?" Both eyes were open now. "What kind of practitioner are you? Can't you tell if I'm injured with your omni-tool?"

The pressure continued unabated. "I am able to establish the degree of regeneration with a scan, yes, but not how your injuries feel to you. That requires manipulation."

"It hurts! That's how it feels to me."

Iadri released Carvkae's head and stepped back from the diagnostic bed. "Good." She activated her omni-tool and made a brief notation. "Move onto your left side now, I need to check your ribs."

"Good?" Carvkae questioned even as she complied. "Why is it good that my head hurts?"

The doctor ran her hands down the ribs on Carvkae's right side. "One of the reasons that pain exists is as an incentive for an organism to modify future behavior." She stepped back. "Roll to your right."

"And my behavior needs to be modified?" Carvkae turned over.

Iadri lifted the frock that had tucked under the maiden with her motion. "Can you feel this?" She pushed into Carvkae's side.

"Ow!"

"Then yes, I would posit that behavior modification would provide you with some benefit. On your back, please."

Carvkae rolled onto her back with a glare. "That's it? You're just going to leave me in pain?"

"If it were my intent to leave you untreated, I would not have awakened you. As I stated, your participation was necessary to fully ascertain your condition." She removed a pair of gloves. "I've already applied an analgesic. It should alleviate any residual discomfort within a few minutes."

"Oh." Carvkae's annoyed look brightened. "Good!" She started to sit up only to have Iadri push her back down with a firm hand to the chest.

"That did not mean that you were free to go."

"But you said-"

"I said that I administered an analgesic. What I did not have time to say is that you will be spending the night in the infirmary."

"Spending the-" Carvkae cut herself off in confusion. "Practitioner, I feel fine! I've been hurt a lot worse than this and went on to play half a skyball game!"

"You have no idea how little that statement incents me to modify my decision."

"Look, I promise that I'll come back if anything hurts." She started to sit up, only to be pushed down again. "It's just that I have a-. I'm meeting someone this evening."

"And I am expected to accept your assurances that you will interrupt your liaison in the event you feel discomfort?" Iadri rolled her eyes for the first time. "Despite prevailing opinion, I was not born a matriarch." She waited to see understanding in Carvkae's eyes. "I am aware of your intended social engagement. Young Cerani has already contacted me in an effort to determine your condition."

"She did?" Carvkae was pushed back down to the bed for a third time. "Goddess, what did you say? What did she say? Did you tell her I was all right? Was she upset?"

"Would you expect that she was upset?" There was a hint of curiosity in Iadri's tone.

Carvkae sighed. "She was upset, wasn't she?"

"More so, I believe, by the fact that I would not provide any detail to her about your condition than by any action by your part."

"What? Why not?" Her voice took on a softer tone. "I am going to be all right, aren't I?"

"I have no reason to suspect otherwise, but I also would not share information about one of my patients with a third party." She paused. "No matter how much they might insist."

"It's fine! She's my roommate!" She put a hand to her forehead. "Crap. I promised I'd take her turn going to the commissary too. She'll hate me."

"Given her level of interest in your condition, I find that statement to be unlikely."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Despite what you might believe, maidens did not only not invent sex, they were not the first to experience intimacy nor enter relationships." She waited for Carvkae's pout to pass. "I have advice, if it interests you."

"Advice? Are you going to tell me to take the long view, and that tomorrow's another day?"

"Hardly. I have never found that perspective to be particularly helpful."

"Huh. Never thought I'd hear that from a matriarch. Sure, why not? What do I have to lose?"

"What indeed. A great deal may depend on your answer. Do you intend to remain with us?"

"What?"

"House T'Soni. What are your intentions here?"

"I don't really have any intentions. Liara told me to come. I came. Seemed like a better idea than getting shot in some alley."

"I agree with your appraisal of the situation. Allow me to clarify; Do you intend to remain at the estate?"

Carvkae pursed her lips and seemed to contemplate her response for a moment while Iadri looked on calmly.

"Well… Even if you ignore the fact that I don't have anywhere else to go, I do like it here."

"You do?" Iadri questioned.

"I do," confirmed Carvkae firmly. "I've been making friends, maybe even more than friends," she conceded with a sheepish look. "I've never been anywhere in the asari space where things move as quickly as they are here. Housing, farming, manufacturing, shipbuilding, whatever Liara's got going here, it's not like anything I've seen before." She paused. "I think I want to be part of that."

"You sound hesitant."

"I know I want to be here, but I don't know if I'm wanted here."

"You claim you've made friends, and Liara herself invited you."

"Sure, but Liara was trying to save my life."

"A worthy intention."

Carvkae chuckled. "Yeah, I kinda like that one too. But otherwise, outside of the people I've met, it doesn't seem like anyone knows what to do with me, while at the same time they're not sure what Liara wants." She shrugged as well as her position would allow. "I think people assume Liara and I were lovers."

That brought a rare chuckle from Iadri. "Child, I assure you that no one who knows Liara assumes that you were lovers." She raised a hand to silence the beginning of a protest. "No affront intended in regards to your desirability as a companion, but Liara took no partners until her bondmate."

"She's bonded?" Carvkae was shocked.

"It is… a long story. In any event, that belief should not weigh on any decision."

"Liara's done a lot for me. More than I'd been willing to admit, really. I don't want to be a burden." Her features turned morose. "More of a burden. I just don't know how to be useful here."

"That is not your concern."

"Matriarch?"

"Now you 'matriarch' me?"

"I just-"

"It amuses me somewhat that after a mere ten-odd weeks you believe yourself equipped to judge how you can best serve the House?"

"Do you wait to be told what to do?" Carvkae replied angrily. "I feel like a guest here!"

Iadri contemplated the maiden for a moment. "You believe we are peers? Our stations equivalent?"

'Oh fuck,' thought Carvkae. "I intended no disrespect-"

"Undoubtably. Nevertheless, I believe I have the answers I seek." She turned to door, dimming the lights as she went. "Sleep now." The door slid silently shut behind her.

'Wonderful. A member of the House senior leadership offers you advice, and instead you insult her. You'll be lucky if they don't ship you off to an eezo mine before Liara ever returns.'

Carvkae fell asleep still wondering how she could salvage the situation.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

It was after midnight when Carvkae woke to voices outside her room.

"…happened? Nevermind. Through here." Carvkae recognized Iadri's voice, her distinctive tones discernible as she maintained a calm demeanor despite at least two others trying to talk over her.

Someone had obviously come seeking the doctor's aid. Carvkae was surprised that Iadri was even in the infirmary this late. She would have expected that oversight of her lone patient would have been passed to a tech or medic. She certainly didn't feel she was in need of medical supervision.

Overcome by curiosity, she listened for a moment, trying to gain a sense for what was going on. Her inquisitive nature overcame her fear of invoking the doctor's wrath, and she swung herself off the bed. She padded lightly to the door, blinking into the unexpected brightness as she opened it.

Iadri was guiding three asari into the clinic's small treatment area. A maiden and matron were assisting a second, injured matron to one of the diagnostic beds while Iadri directed them both. Carvkae winced at the sight of the injured matron's leg, soaked in purple blood.

"There. Just like that." Iadri instructed the maiden who held the injured matron in a biotic field. "Right here now. Slowly let your field dissipate." The injured matron shouted in pain as her full weight returned. "I said slowly!" She admonished as the younger maiden stepped aside.

Iadri addressed the uninjured matron as she scanned the injury with her omni-tool. "What happened?"

The matron looked to Iadri without releasing her hold on her injured companion. "We were working security at the quarry when one of the sensors activated. This one here," she indicated the third member of their party, currently standing away from the others with a horrified look on her face, "was climbing one of the debris piles."

"At midnight?" Iadri challenged.

"It wasn't my fault! I didn't know anyone was going to be there! I was only trying to-" the maiden's defense was interrupted by a loud groan from the injured matron.

"Enough. Are you injured?"

"…No?"

"Then get out. Report to security for administrative punishment first thing in the morning." She scowled at the frightened maiden. "Otherwise I will be forced to suggest to Praeri that she have criminal charges filed against you."

"I didn't mea-"

"Out!" Thundered Iadri.

The maiden fled.

"You," Iadri returned her focus to the uninjured matron and nodded back and forth between the pair. "You're close?"

"We're colleagues," answered the standing matron. She looked to her injured companion, the other matron's face contorted in pain. "I mean we're-"

"I know you work together." The pair were identically dressed in the jumpsuits worn by services staff at the estate. "Are the two of you close enough that you can assist her with her pain?"

The matron's eyes widened as she turned again to her injured associate, who nodded vigorously.

"Good. Move back. Stand up by her head." Iadri helped lay the injured matron down before looking up to the other. "Now would be a good time to start."

Two pairs of eyes went black, and the injured matron visibly relaxed for the first time since Carvkae began observing.

Iadri generated a blade from her omni-tool and began cutting into her patient's jumpsuit, making comments to herself as she did to. She let a strip of blood stained fabric drop to the floor.

"Carvkae!" Iadri barked at the maiden, startling her. Until that moment Carvkae had been certain the matriarch wasn't aware of her presence.

"Y-yes?"

"Here." She nodded to a position next to her.

Carvkae quickly moved to join the doctor next to her patient.

"Give me your hands." Once she did so, Iadri placed them on the injured matron's calf. "Grip here, firmly." She looked intently at Carvkae. "Can you do this? If not, a medic or one of the other doctors can be summoned. That is also acceptable, however they," she indicated the two melded matrons "will be in pain until assistance can arrive."

"I can do it." Carvkae nodded her affirmation.

"Excellent." Iadri accepted Carvkae's statement without question. "Stand here." She moved Carvkae's body slightly. "Hold just so," she said as she proceeded to adjust her hands.

"What am I doing?"

"The patient has a compound fracture. The bone must be positioned before treatment can begin," she explained with clinical detachment. "I will hold her knee and hip in an appropriate placement. You will pull her leg gently, but firmly, until you hear the pop."

"All right." She waited for more. "Then what," she asked finally.

"Then stop pulling."

"I mean-"

"Questions later. Pull now."

Carvkae pulled. Both matrons flinched as the bone changed position, but neither cried out.

"Enough," commanded Iadri. "Hold there for a moment." She waited until she was certain Carvkae wasn't going to move. "Fine. Now without letting go, slowly reduce the strength of your pull."

Carvkae slowly lessened how hard she was pulling.

"Stop there." Iadri glanced at the pair, confirming they were still connected. "You can let go now."

"Was that it?"

"No." She began collecting implements from a nearby drawer. "The bone is close enough to position that I can finish stabilizing it now. Once complete, I can begin the procedure to knit the bone. It is a time consuming process, but not complex. Then the wound must be sterilized, the damaged tissue repaired, and finally a round of antibiotics to destroy any biological contaminants that invaded her body."

"What do I do?"

"You should-" Iadri stopped.

Carvkae waited while Iadri hesitated. The entire event still felt surreal to her. She'd expected to be banished to her bed as soon as she'd been noticed. To have been allowed to remain, to have the matriarch accept her assistance, particularly knowing what Iadri seemed to think of her, left Carvkae feeling proud but confused.

"Matriarch?" She asked hopefully.

Iadri simply stared at her for a moment.

"Is there something-"

"It is not often that Alaya and I agree," interrupted Iadri.

"I'm sorry?" Carvkae was growing more perplexed by the moment.

"I was reflecting that Alaya's suggestion might not have been without merit. You desire to help?"

"In any way that I can," replied Carvkae, finally on certain ground.

"As you wish," nodded Iadri. She took a breath before rattling off instruction. "Collect a chair and drink for our patient's companion. She has at least two hours ahead of her, and she will need her strength. Then wash your hands thoroughly…"

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

It was nearly daybreak by the time Carvkae made it back to her apartment. She was still earlier than she'd expected. Her time with Iadri had been both tiring and confusing, but at least the original requirement of remaining for observation had been lost to the events of the night.

Her attempt at silent homecoming was thwarted before it began. Cerani was waiting, not at all quietly. Her roommate almost knocked her off her feet once she stepped through the door.

"Carvkae!" She practically shrieked as she powered into the unprepared Carvkae. "You're all right!"

"Hey," she grabbed Cerani, staggering but not falling. It was a near thing. "Yes, I'm fine. I'm perfect." She yawned. "I am tired."

"And how was I supposed to know that?" She accused. "I heard you jumped off one of the Edoor Cliffs and fell all the way to the water without using your biotics! What were you thinking? That's nearly a hundred meters! Were you trying to kill yourself?" Tears formed in Cerani's eyes as she edged closer to hysteria.

"Hold on," Carvkae gently pushed her roommate out to arms length, looking directly into her eyes to stress her words. "Yes, I'm fine. Yes, I jumped into the sea, but from one of the lowest cliffs. It was thirty meters, tops. It was no big deal. Humans did that all the time back on Illium, and almost none of them even have biotics."

"Most humans don't have a lot of sense either if they throw themselves off cliffs at full mass."

"Apparently it's a sport on their homeworld." She shook her head. "Doesn't matter. I'm OK, I just got a little carried away."

"A little carried away? You were unconscious when they brought you to the infirmary. I only knew that much because Acinia heard that much from one of the huntresses who brought you in. No one would tell me anything! You had me terrified!"

'Ouch. She got me there.' Carvkae cringed at the realization that of course Cerani had no way to check on her status. She had no living relatives, and she'd never Named anyone their stead. "Sorry, I didn't think-"

"No, you didn't!" Interrupted Cerani. "You never told me who to go to if something happens to you! You never told any of us! Who's your eivaa? If Iadri wouldn't tell me how you were doing, at least let me know who she could have told!"

"I um, I-" Carvkae hedged.

Cerani's eyes widened. "You don't have one?"

"It never occurred to me! I didn't know anyone when I got here, and I wasn't sure that I should impose. By the time I thought maybe I could, I thought maybe it had been too long-"

"Carvkae. Stop." Cerani closed the distance between them and put a hand on each of Carvkae's cheeks. "Do you want me to be your eivaa? It doesn't have to mean anything else, and if it does, that's all right too."

"You wouldn't mind? I don't want to-"

"Carvkae."

"Sorr-"

"Stop."

"OK." She smiled shyly before brightening. "Wait! Do you need me to be yours too?"

Cerani shook her head. "Goddess Carvkae, I have eighteen. Of course you're welcome to be one. I'd want you to know what was going on if something happened to me. That's what friends do."

"I know but-"

"I'm serious. People care about you. When you don't consider that, it makes us feel like we don't matter."

"I never meant-"

"Shhh." Cerani put a finger to Carvkae's lips. "I know. Enough about that for now."

"You can put me on that list too," called Acinia from her bedroom. "Then maybe we could get some sleep around here."

"Sor-" Carvkae's call was cut short by Cerani's glare. "Will do," she finished.

"Good," came the shouted reply. "Sleeping now."

With a giggle, Cerani pulled Carvkae into the kitchen where tea was waiting. "I kept some ready."

Carvkae took a mug gratefully. "It's almost like the last day never happened."

"It did though."

Carvkae almost choked on her tea. "I almost forgot to tell you! I'm getting assigned!"

"I thought so," Carani smiled over her tea.

"You thought so? How?"

"Your terminal's been chiming since last night. Haven't you checked your 'tool?"

Carvkae shook her head as she activated her omni-tool. "No, I was in the infirmary, remember? Iadri was very specific that I leave it off." She opened the message that was flashing priority. "I don't understand…"

"What is it?" Cerani craned her neck to try to see.

"I thought it was going to be my assignment details." She scrolled through the message confusedly.

"It's not?"

"Iadri wants me to join the next medic certification, we discussed it this morning. It's another tenday from now. She's going to send me the details." She indicated the lengthy message scrolling on her omni-tool. "This isn't that."

Cerani came around to see. "Oh," she breathed quietly.

"That's it? 'Oh?' What's going on? Who is 'Denai'? Why is she sending me travel instructions and a shuttle reservation?"

"I'll help you pack. We can talk on the way to Armali."

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Carvkae knew that Pineios Station was huge. So much traffic went through coming and going from Thessia. She'd been off planet many times. She'd strolled the promenades, shopped the malls, eaten at the restaurants. She'd even seen the cargo docks on more than one 'mission' for Ralith. She'd just been a messenger, some time courier and reliable distraction, but Ralith had her maintain a legitimate front. That meant coming for a reasonable purpose, even if that was just a day of shopping and tourism. It was inconvenient for non-biotic aliens to stay on Thessia for too long, eezo concentrations being what they were. Many set up storefronts on Pineios, making their wares a day trip away from the most lucrative market in the galaxy. She liked people, and made the most of it.

So many visits to the station, yet she hadn't known this area even existed.

The cargo areas weren't nearly as elegant as the passenger terminals. Even the passenger terminals had an obvious class ranking as one gradually transitioned from the areas serving scheduled transport to chartered. She knew the elite had their private docks, for those who could afford to leave their ships tethered to Pineios when not in use. There was a great deal of wealth on Thessia, and for those who desired isolation, privacy was one more commodity to be purchased.

But Carvkae never knew there were private terminals. Of course if she had, she would have assumed that House T'Soni would have one.

Her credentials had allowed her to pass unmolested into sections of the station that became progressively more affluent. As she'd passed from the last of the public areas to this one, she'd even collected an escort. The attendant was polite and helpful, and Carvkae was very much aware that the matron was more than able to subdue her if necessary.

The rich preferred their security to be subtle.

"The Megara is just ahead, Maiden Miris," commented her escort.

Carvkae held back a frustrated sigh. She'd followed her omni-tool's tracking to make it to where she'd encountered Esasi, her overly polite companion. She could have made it just fine on her own if her 'tool had been permitted access to the terminal's layout.

That had not been an option.

"Thank you," she muttered.

"Pleased to be of service." She stopped in front of an unmarked bay. "This is your destination," she indicated the passage to the dock itself.

"That's it?" Carvkae expected to have been escorted to the airlock.

"I'll be here if you need me."

"Fine." She brushed past her companion. "I'll let you know if I get lost." 'You know, in a hallway with one door,' She thought sarcastically.

"Of course," she heard from behind her.

She focused on being annoyed. Annoyed was good. Annoyed kept her from wondering why she was going aboard Benezia's private craft to meet the princeps of Liara's dead bondmate.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

The airlock was… locked. The teal T'Soni seal the only indication she was in the right place.

She waved her omni-tool over the access panel. Her clearance level had gotten her this far, after all.

"One moment please." The intercom nearly scared her out of her boots. The hatch opened before the voice finished speaking, and Carvkae stepped into the airlock. The outer hatch shut smoothly behind her. Once the outer hatch locked into place, the inner hatch slid aside to reveal a young commando Carvkae didn't know.

"Denai?" She asked hesitantly when the commando didn't identify herself.

The other asari snorted. "Teseka." She motioned Carvkae out of the airlock. "Denai's one deck down. I'll take you to her."

Carvkae fell into step beside her. "I'm Carvkae."

"I know," came the bland reply.

Carvkae looked at her escort questioningly.

"I've seen you play."

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

It only took a few moments for Teseka to lead Carvkae down one level and stop before an open hatch. "She's here."

A matron, Denai? Looked up from the ornate desk and waved her forward. "Come in." She turned to Teskea with "You know what to do." Teseka left with a nod.

Carvkae hesitated just inside the office. "Denai?"

"Yes, thanks for coming." She nodded towards a chair in front of her. "Please sit down."

Carvkae sat.

"Took you long enough to get here," commented Denai.

"I was in the infirmary," replied Carvkae indignantly, not liking this Denai at all. "Iadri made me deactivate my omni-tool. I only got your message this morning."

"Are you injured? You look fine to me."

Carvkae waved the question away. "What's the hurry? Why am I here?"

Denai put down the 'pad she was holding. "Liara."

Carvkae nearly jumped out of her seat. "She's here?"

"Soon," came the reply. "Hence the hurry."

"What's going on?" Carvkae tried the direct route again. If Liara was coming that meant everything would be all right.

Denai took a deep breath before looking down at the desk and rubbing the finish with a finger. "Liara has a lot to deal with right now. Perhaps too much, even for her. She needs help."

"What kind of help?"

"The kind of assistance only a friend can provide. That's you, I hope."

"I don't understand. You're not her friend? I heard you were Shep-"

Denai raised a finger. "Don't."

Carvkae stood, angrily. "Don't what? Who do you think you are? Why can't you help her?

Denai looked up impassively. "Because I am one of her problems."

Carvkae blinked incredulously. "You're on Benezia's ship, behind Benezia's desk, with at least one member of the House Guard taking your orders, and you're one of her problems?"

"So it would seem." Denai stood and walked around the desk. "Liara attempted to release me from my oath. I refused. She ordered me to destroy this ship. Instead, I stole it. She insists that Benezia's acolytes and staff be released without ceremony. I brought them home." She sighed, and Carvkae suddenly realized that Denai's demeanor was driven by exhaustion. "Liara is not an overly emotional person, but she is not to be swayed by logic, not in this case." She shrugged. "I need someone who can reach her without limiting themselves to the rational." Now she smiled slightly. "Alaya's reports tell me that person is you."

Carvkae was on the verge of panic. "Reach her how? For what? She's my friend, but I needed her a lot more than she ever needed me."

"That was before," replied Denai placidly. "She's lost a great deal since the death of her mother. She's had to be strong. She'd had to be focused." She paused to give her words a moment to sink in. "But sometimes that isn't enough."

"So you stole her mother's ship?"

"Yes," agreed Denai. "To bring her home. To force her to deal with this. To deal with herself." She waved a hand, taking in the entirety of the ship. "The ship is irrelevant. It's just a symbol. She has no use for it." She sighed. "The obligations of the House work both ways. She supports her House, her House supports her. But now, now she refuses to accept that support. She'd tied herself to one person, and losing that person almost killed her."

"You mean when S-"

Denai just glared.

"When her bondmate died," she corrected.

"When Liara's bond was severed, yes," replied Denai.

Carvkae still couldn't imagine Liara being bonded. "I don't know what you believe, but Liara and I weren't as close as you seem to think. She isn't going to do anything I tell her to." She snorted. "Believe me, I've tried."

Denai closed her eyes briefly. "This isn't about what to do, it's about who she is. She needs help to remember that. Your help, I hope. She isn't going to listen to Alaya, or Iryra or Stallura or Nagalia. She probably won't even listen to Sha'ira in her current state. While she might have listened to me once, our relationship has grown more complicated of late." She looked at Carvkae imploringly. "You, she won't associate with the House she felt abandoned her for so many years." She spread her hands. "It has to be you. There isn't anyone else."

Carvkae shook her head. "I'd do anything for Liara, but this, this I don't understand."

"Just be yourself. Help her remember who she is."

"How?"

"You'll figure it out. You have to." Her eyes flickered to the open hatch. "She's here."

Liara stepped into the office, face twisted in a grimace. "Denai."

"Peeress."

"Goddess, Liara," whispered Carvkae as she rose to stand by Denai. "What's happened to you?"

A/N:

Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara
Post ME2 beginning / Post Redemption comic / Pre Shepard resurrection

Sarah Shepard is:
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, thank you for reading. Feedback is welcome and desired
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